The vision passed; she thought instead of Thursday night, and Tony Croom, and the dirty little boy outside the restaurant in Soho, who had said in such endearing tones: “Remember the poor old guy, lady; remember the poor old guy.” If Tony had seen her the next night! How irrelevant6 was event to feeling, how ignorant were even the closest of each other! She uttered a little discomfited7 laugh. Where ignorance was bliss8, indeed!
The village church bell began ringing now. Marvellous how her father and mother continued to go every Sunday, hoping — she supposed — for the best; or was it because if they didn’t the village wouldn’t, and the church would fall into disuse, or at least behind the chapel9? It was nice to lie here in one’s own old room, feel safe, and warm, and idle, with a dog on one’s feet! Till next Saturday she was at bay, like a chased vixen taking advantage of every cover; and Clare drew taut10 her lips, as a vixen does at sight of hounds. Go back he must — he had said — with her or without. Well, it would be without!
Her sense of asylum was rudely shaken about four o’clock, when, returning from a walk with the dogs, she saw a car outside and was met by her mother in the hall.
“Jerry’s with your father.”
“Oh!”
“Come up to my room, dear.”
In that first-floor room adjoining her bedroom Lady Charwell’s personality had always more scope than in the rest of the old, tortuous11, worn-down house, so full of relics12 and the past tense. This room’s verbena-scented, powder-blue scheme had a distinct if faded elegance13. It had been designed; the rest of the house had grown, emerging here and there into small oases14 of modernity, but for the most part a wilderness15 strewn with the débris of Time.
Clare turned and turned a china figure, in front of the wood fire. She had not foreseen this visit. Now were conjoined the forces of creed16, convention, and comfort, and against them was only a defence that it was hateful to lay bare. She waited for her mother to speak.
“You see, darling, you haven’t told us anything.”
But how tell one who looked and spoke17 like that? She flushed, went pale, and said: “I can only say there’s a beast in him. I know it doesn’t show; but there is, Mother, there is!”
Lady Charwell, too, had flushed. It did not suit her, being over fifty.
“Your father and I will help you all we can, dear; only, of course, it is so important to take a right decision now.”
“And I, having made a wrong one already, can only be trusted to make another? You’ve got to take my word, Mother; I simply can’t talk about it, and I simply won’t go back with him.”
Lady Charwell had sat down, a furrow18 between her grey-blue eyes which seemed fixed19 on nothing. She turned them on her daughter, and said, hesitating:
“You’re sure it’s not just the beast that is in nearly all men?”
Clare laughed.
“Oh! no. I’m not easily upset.”
Lady Charwell sighed.
“Don’t worry, Mother dear; it’ll be all right once we’ve got this over. Nothing really matters nowadays.”
“So they say, but one has the bad habit still of believing that it does.”
At this near approach to irony20 Clare said quickly: “It matters that one should keep one’s self-respect. Really, with him I couldn’t.”
“We’ll say no more then. Your father will want to see you. You’d better take your things off.”
Clare kissed her and went out. There was no sound from below, and she went on up to her room. She felt her will-power stiffening21. The days when men disposed of their women folk were long over, and — whatever Jerry and her father were concocting22 — she would not budge23! When the summons came, she went to the encounter, blade-sharp, and hard as stone.
They were standing24 in the General’s office-like study, and she felt at once that they were in agreement. Nodding to her husband, she went over to her father.
“Well?”
But Corven spoke first.
“I leave it to you, sir.”
The General’s lined face looked mournful and irritated. He braced25 himself. “We’ve been going into this, Clare. Jerry admits that you’ve got much on your side, but he’s given me his word that he won’t offend you again. I want to appeal to you to try and see his point of view. He says, I think rightly, that it’s more to your interest even than to his. The old ideas about marriage may have gone, but, after all, you both took certain vows26 — but leaving that aside —”
“Yes,” said Clare.
The General twirled his little moustache, and thrust the other hand deep into his pocket.
“Well, what on earth is going to happen to you both? You can’t have a divorce — there’s your name, and his position, and — after only eighteen months. What are you going to do? Live apart? That’s not fair to you, or to him.”
“Fairer to both of us than living together will be.”
The General glanced at her hardened face. “So you say now; but we’ve both of us had more experience than you.”
“That was bound to be said sooner or later. You want me to go back with him?”
The General looked acutely unhappy.
“You know, my dear, that I only want what’s best for you.”
“And Jerry has convinced you that IS the best. Well, it’s the worst. I’m not going, Dad, and there’s an end of it.”
The General looked at her face, looked at the face of his son-inlaw, shrugged27 his shoulders, and began filling his pipe.
Jerry Corven’s eyes, which had been passing from face to face, narrowed and came to rest on Clare’s. That look lasted a long time, and neither flinched28.
“Very well,” he said, at last, “I will make other arrangements. Good-bye, sir; good-bye, Clare!” And turning on his heel, he went out.
In the silence that followed, the sound of his car crunching29 away on the drive could be heard distinctly. The General, smoking glumly30, kept his glance averted31; Clare went to the window. It was growing dark outside, and now that the crisis was over she felt unstrung.
“I wish to God,” said her father’s voice, “that I could understand this business.”
Clare did not move from the window: “Did he tell you he’d used my riding whip on me?”
“What!” said the General.
Clare turned round.
“Yes.”
“On YOU?”
“Yes. That was not my real reason, but it put the finishing touch. Sorry to hurt you, Dad!”
“By God!”
Clare had a moment of illumination. Concrete facts! Give a man a fact!
“The ruffian!” said the General: “The ruffian! He told me he spent the evening with you the other day; is that true?”
A slow flush had burned up in her cheeks.
“He practically forced himself in.”
“The ruffian!” said the General once more.
When she was alone again, she meditated32 wryly33 on the sudden difference that little fact about the whip had made in her father’s feelings. He had taken it as a personal affront34, an insult to his own flesh and blood. She felt that he could have stood it with equanimity35 of someone else’s daughter; she remembered that he had even sympathised with her brother’s flogging of the muleteer, which had brought such a peck of trouble on them all. How little detached, how delightfully36 personal, people were! Feeling and criticising in terms of their own prejudices! Well! She was over the worst now, for her people were on her side, and she would make certain of not seeing Jerry alone again. She thought of the long look he had given her. He was a good loser, because for him the game was never at an end. Life itself — not each item of life — absorbed him. He rode Life, took a toss, got up, rode on; met an obstacle, rode over it, rode through it, took the scratches as all in the day’s work. He had fascinated her, ridden through and over her; the fascination37 was gone, and she wondered that it had ever been. What was he going to do now? Well! One thing was certain: somehow, he would cut his losses!
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收听单词发音
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1
encompass
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| vt.围绕，包围；包含，包括；完成 | |
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2
wary
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| adj.谨慎的，机警的，小心的 | |
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3
asylum
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| n.避难所，庇护所，避难 | |
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4
denuded
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| adj.[医]变光的，裸露的v.使赤裸( denude的过去式和过去分词 )；剥光覆盖物 | |
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5
boughs
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| 大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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6
irrelevant
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| adj.不恰当的，无关系的，不相干的 | |
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7
discomfited
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| v.使为难( discomfit的过去式和过去分词)；使狼狈；使挫折；挫败 | |
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bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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9
chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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10
taut
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| adj.拉紧的，绷紧的，紧张的 | |
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11
tortuous
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| adj.弯弯曲曲的，蜿蜒的 | |
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12
relics
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| [pl.］n.遗物，遗迹，遗产；遗体，尸骸 | |
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13
elegance
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| n.优雅；优美，雅致；精致，巧妙 | |
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14
oases
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| n.（沙漠中的）绿洲( oasis的名词复数 )；（困苦中）令人快慰的地方（或时刻）；乐土；乐事 | |
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15
wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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16
creed
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| n.信条；信念，纲领 | |
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17
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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18
furrow
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| n.沟；垄沟；轨迹；车辙；皱纹 | |
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19
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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irony
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| n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄 | |
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21
stiffening
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| n. (使衣服等)变硬的材料, 硬化 动词stiffen的现在分词形式 | |
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22
concocting
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| v.将（尤指通常不相配合的）成分混合成某物( concoct的现在分词 )；调制；编造；捏造 | |
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23
budge
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| v.移动一点儿；改变立场 | |
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24
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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25
braced
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| adj.拉牢的v.支住( brace的过去式和过去分词 )；撑牢；使自己站稳；振作起来 | |
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26
vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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27
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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28
flinched
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| v.（因危险和痛苦）退缩，畏惧( flinch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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29
crunching
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| v.嘎吱嘎吱地咬嚼( crunch的现在分词 )；嘎吱作响；（快速大量地）处理信息；数字捣弄 | |
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30
glumly
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| adv.忧郁地，闷闷不乐地；阴郁地 | |
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31
averted
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| 防止，避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 )； 转移 | |
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meditated
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| 深思，沉思，冥想( meditate的过去式和过去分词 )； 内心策划，考虑 | |
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33
wryly
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| adv. 挖苦地，嘲弄地 | |
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34
affront
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| n./v.侮辱，触怒 | |
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35
equanimity
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| n.沉着，镇定 | |
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36
delightfully
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| 大喜，欣然 | |
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fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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