The next week’s books of the Insolvent Fates, however, being not yet opened, there is the usual rush to the Veneerings, of the people who go to their house to dine with one another and not with them. There is Lady Tippins. There are Podsnap the Great, and Mrs Podsnap. There is Twemlow. There are Buffer11, Boots, and Brewer12. There is the Contractor13, who is Providence14 to five hundred thousand men. There is the Chairman, travelling three thousand miles per week. There is the brilliant genius who turned the shares into that remarkably15 exact sum of three hundred and seventy five thousand pounds, no shillings, and nopence.
To whom, add Mortimer Lightwood, coming in among them with a reassumption of his old languid air, founded on Eugene, and belonging to the days when he told the story of the man from Somewhere.
That fresh fairy, Tippins, all but screams at sight of her false swain. She summons the deserter to her with her fan; but the deserter, predetermined not to come, talks Britain with Podsnap. Podsnap always talks Britain, and talks as if he were a sort of Private Watchman employed, in the British interests, against the rest of the world. ‘We know what Russia means, sir,’ says Podsnap; ‘we know what France wants; we see what America is up to; but we know what England is. That’s enough for us.’
However, when dinner is served, and Lightwood drops into his old place over against Lady Tippins, she can be fended16 off no longer. ‘Long banished17 Robinson Crusoe,’ says the charmer, exchanging salutations, ‘how did you leave the Island?’
‘Thank you,’ says Lightwood. ‘It made no complaint of being in pain anywhere.’
‘Say, how did you leave the savages18?’ asks Lady Tippins.
‘They were becoming civilized19 when I left Juan Fernandez,’ says Lightwood. ‘At least they were eating one another, which looked like it.’
‘Tormentor!’ returns the dear young creature. ‘You know what I mean, and you trifle with my impatience20. Tell me something, immediately, about the married pair. You were at the wedding.’
‘Was I, by-the-by?’ Mortimer pretends, at great leisure, to consider. ‘So I was!’
‘How was the bride dressed? In rowing costume?’
Mortimer looks gloomy, and declines to answer.
‘I hope she steered21 herself, skiffed herself, paddled herself, larboarded and starboarded herself, or whatever the technical term may be, to the ceremony?’ proceeds the playful Tippins.
‘However she got to it, she graced it,’ says Mortimer.
Lady Tippins with a skittish22 little scream, attracts the general attention. ‘Graced it! Take care of me if I faint, Veneering. He means to tell us, that a horrid23 female waterman is graceful24!’
‘Pardon me. I mean to tell you nothing, Lady Tippins,’ replies Lightwood. And keeps his word by eating his dinner with a show of the utmost indifference25.
‘You shall not escape me in this way, you morose26 backwoodsman,’ retorts Lady Tippins. ‘You shall not evade27 the question, to screen your friend Eugene, who has made this exhibition of himself. The knowledge shall be brought home to you that such a ridiculous affair is condemned28 by the voice of Society. My dear Mrs Veneering, do let us resolve ourselves into a Committee of the whole House on the subject.’
Mrs Veneering, always charmed by this rattling29 sylph, cries. ‘Oh yes! Do let us resolve ourselves into a Committee of the whole House! So delicious!’ Veneering says, ‘As many as are of that opinion, say Aye — contrary, No — the Ayes have it.’ But nobody takes the slightest notice of his joke.
‘Now, I am Chairwoman of Committees!’ cries Lady Tippins.
(’What spirits she has!’ exclaims Mrs Veneering; to whom likewise nobody attends.)
‘And this,’ pursues the sprightly30 one, ‘is a Committee of the whole House to what-you-may-call-it — elicit31, I suppose — the voice of Society. The question before the Committee is, whether a young man of very fair family, good appearance, and some talent, makes a fool or a wise man of himself in marrying a female waterman, turned factory girl.’
‘Hardly so, I think,’ the stubborn Mortimer strikes in. ‘I take the question to be, whether such a man as you describe, Lady Tippins, does right or wrong in marrying a brave woman (I say nothing of her beauty), who has saved his life, with a wonderful energy and address; whom he knows to be virtuous32, and possessed33 of remarkable34 qualities; whom he has long admired, and who is deeply attached to him.’
‘But, excuse me,’ says Podsnap, with his temper and his shirt-collar about equally rumpled35; ‘was this young woman ever a female waterman?’
‘Never. But she sometimes rowed in a boat with her father, I believe.’
General sensation against the young woman. Brewer shakes his head. Boots shakes his head. Buffer shakes his head.
‘And now, Mr Lightwood, was she ever,’ pursues Podsnap, with his indignation rising high into those hair-brushes of his, ‘a factory girl?’
‘Never. But she had some employment in a paper mill, I believe.’
General sensation repeated. Brewer says, ‘Oh dear!’ Boots says, ‘Oh dear!’ Buffer says, ‘Oh dear!’ All, in a rumbling36 tone of protest.
‘Then all I have to say is,’ returns Podsnap, putting the thing away with his right arm, ‘that my gorge37 rises against such a marriage — that it offends and disgusts me — that it makes me sick — and that I desire to know no more about it.’
(’Now I wonder,’ thinks Mortimer, amused, ‘whether YOU are the Voice of Society!’)
‘Hear, hear, hear!’ cries Lady Tippins. ‘Your opinion of this MESALLIANCE, honourable38 colleagues of the honourable member who has just sat down?’
Mrs Podsnap is of opinion that in these matters there should be an equality of station and fortune, and that a man accustomed to Society should look out for a woman accustomed to Society and capable of bearing her part in it with — an ease and elegance39 of carriage — that.’ Mrs Podsnap stops there, delicately intimating that every such man should look out for a fine woman as nearly resembling herself as he may hope to discover.
(’Now I wonder,’ thinks Mortimer, ‘whether you are the Voice!’)
Lady Tippins next canvasses40 the Contractor, of five hundred thousand power. It appears to this potentate41, that what the man in question should have done, would have been, to buy the young woman a boat and a small annuity42, and set her up for herself. These things are a question of beefsteaks and porter. You buy the young woman a boat. Very good. You buy her, at the same time, a small annuity. You speak of that annuity in pounds sterling43, but it is in reality so many pounds of beefsteaks and so many pints44 of porter. On the one hand, the young woman has the boat. On the other hand, she consumes so many pounds of beefsteaks and so many pints of porter. Those beefsteaks and that porter are the fuel to that young woman’s engine. She derives45 therefrom a certain amount of power to row the boat; that power will produce so much money; you add that to the small annuity; and thus you get at the young woman’s income. That (it seems to the Contractor) is the way of looking at it.
The fair enslaver having fallen into one of her gentle sleeps during the last exposition, nobody likes to wake her. Fortunately, she comes awake of herself, and puts the question to the Wandering Chairman. The Wanderer can only speak of the case as if it were his own. If such a young woman as the young woman described, had saved his own life, he would have been very much obliged to her, wouldn’t have married her, and would have got her a berth46 in an Electric Telegraph Office, where young women answer very well.
What does the Genius of the three hundred and seventy-five thousand pounds, no shillings, and nopence, think? He can’t say what he thinks, without asking: Had the young woman any money?
‘No,’ says Lightwood, in an uncompromising voice; ‘no money.’
‘Madness and moonshine,’ is then the compressed verdict of the Genius. ‘A man may do anything lawful47, for money. But for no money! — Bosh!’
What does Boots say?
Boots says he wouldn’t have done it under twenty thousand pound.
What does Brewer say?
Brewer says what Boots says.
What does Buffer say?
Buffer says he knows a man who married a bathing-woman, and bolted.
Lady Tippins fancies she has collected the suffrages48 of the whole Committee (nobody dreaming of asking the Veneerings for their opinion), when, looking round the table through her eyeglass, she perceives Mr Twemlow with his hand to his forehead.
Good gracious! My Twemlow forgotten! My dearest! My own! What is his vote?
Twemlow has the air of being ill at ease, as he takes his hand from his forehead and replies.
‘I am disposed to think,’ says he, ‘that this is a question of the feelings of a gentleman.’
‘A gentleman can have no feelings who contracts such a marriage,’ flushes Podsnap.
‘Pardon me, sir,’ says Twemlow, rather less mildly than usual, ‘I don’t agree with you. If this gentleman’s feelings of gratitude49, of respect, of admiration50, and affection, induced him (as I presume they did) to marry this lady —’
‘This lady!’ echoes Podsnap.
‘Sir,’ returns Twemlow, with his wristbands bristling51 a little, ‘YOU repeat the word; I repeat the word. This lady. What else would you call her, if the gentleman were present?’
This being something in the nature of a poser for Podsnap, he merely waves it away with a speechless wave.
‘I say,’ resumes Twemlow, ‘if such feelings on the part of this gentleman, induced this gentleman to marry this lady, I think he is the greater gentleman for the action, and makes her the greater lady. I beg to say, that when I use the word, gentleman, I use it in the sense in which the degree may be attained52 by any man. The feelings of a gentleman I hold sacred, and I confess I am not comfortable when they are made the subject of sport or general discussion.’
‘I should like to know,’ sneers53 Podsnap, ‘whether your noble relation would be of your opinion.’
‘Mr Podsnap,’ retorts Twemlow, ‘permit me. He might be, or he might not be. I cannot say. But, I could not allow even him to dictate54 to me on a point of great delicacy55, on which I feel very strongly.’
Somehow, a canopy56 of wet blanket seems to descend57 upon the company, and Lady Tippins was never known to turn so very greedy or so very cross. Mortimer Lightwood alone brightens. He has been asking himself, as to every other member of the Committee in turn, ‘I wonder whether you are the Voice!’ But he does not ask himself the question after Twemlow has spoken, and he glances in Twemlow’s direction as if he were grateful. When the company disperse58 — by which time Mr and Mrs Veneering have had quite as much as they want of the honour, and the guests have had quite as much as THEY want of the other honour — Mortimer sees Twemlow home, shakes hands with him cordially at parting, and fares to the Temple, gaily59.
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1
indefatigably
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| adv.不厌倦地，不屈不挠地 | |
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dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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insolvent
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| adj.破产的，无偿还能力的 | |
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resounding
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| adj. 响亮的 | |
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contrive
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| vt.谋划，策划；设法做到；设计，想出 | |
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Neptune
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| n.海王星 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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misgivings
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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confidential
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| adj.秘（机）密的，表示信任的，担任机密工作的 | |
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buffer
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| n.起缓冲作用的人(或物)，缓冲器；vt.缓冲 | |
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brewer
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| n. 啤酒制造者 | |
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contractor
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| n.订约人，承包人，收缩肌 | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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15
remarkably
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| ad.不同寻常地，相当地 | |
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fended
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| v.独立生活，照料自己( fend的过去式和过去分词 )；挡开，避开 | |
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17
banished
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| v.放逐，驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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savages
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| 未开化的人，野蛮人( savage的名词复数 ) | |
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19
civilized
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| a.有教养的，文雅的 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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steered
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| v.驾驶( steer的过去式和过去分词 )；操纵；控制；引导 | |
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22
skittish
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| adj.易激动的，轻佻的 | |
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23
horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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morose
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| adj.脾气坏的，不高兴的 | |
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evade
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| vt.逃避，回避；避开，躲避 | |
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condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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29
rattling
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| adj. 格格作响的, 活泼的, 很好的 adv. 极其, 很, 非常 动词rattle的现在分词 | |
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sprightly
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| adj.愉快的，活泼的 | |
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elicit
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| v.引出,抽出,引起 | |
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virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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rumpled
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| v.弄皱，使凌乱( rumple的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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rumbling
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| n. 隆隆声, 辘辘声 adj. 隆隆响的 动词rumble的现在分词 | |
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37
gorge
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| n.咽喉，胃，暴食，山峡；v.塞饱，狼吞虎咽地吃 | |
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honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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elegance
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| n.优雅；优美，雅致；精致，巧妙 | |
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canvasses
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| n.检票员，游说者，推销员( canvass的名词复数 )v.（在政治方面）游说( canvass的第三人称单数 )；调查（如选举前选民的）意见；为讨论而提出（意见等）；详细检查 | |
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potentate
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| n.统治者；君主 | |
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annuity
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| n.年金；养老金 | |
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sterling
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| adj.英币的(纯粹的，货真价实的)；n.英国货币(英镑) | |
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pints
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| n.品脱( pint的名词复数 )；一品脱啤酒 | |
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derives
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| v.得到( derive的第三人称单数 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取 | |
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berth
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| n.卧铺，停泊地，锚位；v.使停泊 | |
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lawful
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| adj.法律许可的，守法的，合法的 | |
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suffrages
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| （政治性选举的）选举权，投票权( suffrage的名词复数 ) | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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51
bristling
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| a.竖立的 | |
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52
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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53
sneers
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| 讥笑的表情（言语）( sneer的名词复数 ) | |
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54
dictate
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| v.口授；(使)听写；指令，指示，命令 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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56
canopy
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| n.天篷，遮篷 | |
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57
descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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58
disperse
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| vi.使分散；使消失；vt.分散；驱散 | |
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gaily
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| adv.欢乐地，高兴地 | |
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