Mr. Pickwick’s apartments in Goswell Street, although on a limited scale, were not only of a very neat and comfortable description, but peculiarly adapted for the residence of a man of his genius and observation. His sitting-room3 was the first-floor front, his bedroom the second-floor front; and thus, whether he were sitting at his desk in his parlour, or standing4 before the dressing-glass in his dormitory, he had an equal opportunity of contemplating5 human nature in all the numerous phases it exhibits, in that not more populous6 than popular thoroughfare. His landlady7, Mrs. Bardell — the relict and sole executrix of a deceased custom-house officer — was a comely8 woman of bustling9 manners and agreeable appearance, with a natural genius for cooking, improved by study and long practice, into an exquisite10 talent. There were no children, no servants, no fowls11. The only other inmates12 of the house were a large man and a small boy; the first a lodger13, the second a production of Mrs. Bardell’s. The large man was always home precisely14 at ten o’clock at night, at which hour he regularly condensed himself into the limits of a dwarfish15 French bedstead in the back parlour; and the infantine sports and gymnastic exercises of Master Bardell were exclusively confined to the neighbouring pavements and gutters16. Cleanliness and quiet reigned17 throughout the house; and in it Mr. Pickwick’s will was law.
To any one acquainted with these points of the domestic economy of the establishment, and conversant18 with the admirable regulation of Mr. Pickwick’s mind, his appearance and behaviour on the morning previous to that which had been fixed19 upon for the journey to Eatanswill would have been most mysterious and unaccountable. He paced the room to and fro with hurried steps, popped his head out of the window at intervals20 of about three minutes each, constantly referred to his watch, and exhibited many other manifestations21 of impatience22 very unusual with him. It was evident that something of great importance was in contemplation, but what that something was, not even Mrs. Bardell had been enabled to discover.
‘Mrs. Bardell,’ said Mr. Pickwick, at last, as that amiable23 female approached the termination of a prolonged dusting of the apartment.
‘Sir,’ said Mrs. Bardell.
‘Your little boy is a very long time gone.’
‘Why it’s a good long way to the Borough24, sir,’ remonstrated25 Mrs. Bardell.
‘Ah,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘very true; so it is.’ Mr. Pickwick relapsed into silence, and Mrs. Bardell resumed her dusting.
‘Mrs. Bardell,’ said Mr. Pickwick, at the expiration26 of a few minutes.
‘Sir,’ said Mrs. Bardell again. ‘Do you think it a much greater expense to keep two people, than to keep one?’
‘La, Mr. Pickwick,’ said Mrs. Bardell, colouring up to the very border of her cap, as she fancied she observed a species of matrimonial twinkle in the eyes of her lodger; ‘La, Mr. Pickwick, what a question!’
‘Well, but do you?’ inquired Mr. Pickwick.
‘That depends,’ said Mrs. Bardell, approaching the duster very near to Mr. Pickwick’s elbow which was planted on the table. ‘that depends a good deal upon the person, you know, Mr. Pickwick; and whether it’s a saving and careful person, sir.’
‘That’s very true,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘but the person I have in my eye (here he looked very hard at Mrs. Bardell) I think possesses these qualities; and has, moreover, a considerable knowledge of the world, and a great deal of sharpness, Mrs. Bardell, which may be of material use to me.’
‘La, Mr. Pickwick,’ said Mrs. Bardell, the crimson28 rising to her cap-border again.
‘I do,’ said Mr. Pickwick, growing energetic, as was his wont29 in speaking of a subject which interested him —‘I do, indeed; and to tell you the truth, Mrs. Bardell, I have made up my mind.’
‘Dear me, sir,‘exclaimed Mrs. Bardell.
‘You’ll think it very strange now,’ said the amiable Mr. Pickwick, with a good-humoured glance at his companion, ‘that I never consulted you about this matter, and never even mentioned it, till I sent your little boy out this morning — eh?’
Mrs. Bardell could only reply by a look. She had long worshipped Mr. Pickwick at a distance, but here she was, all at once, raised to a pinnacle30 to which her wildest and most extravagant31 hopes had never dared to aspire32. Mr. Pickwick was going to propose — a deliberate plan, too — sent her little boy to the Borough, to get him out of the way — how thoughtful — how considerate!
‘Well,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘what do you think?’
‘Oh, Mr. Pickwick,’ said Mrs. Bardell, trembling with agitation33, ‘you’re very kind, sir.’
‘It’ll save you a good deal of trouble, won’t it?’ said Mr. Pickwick. ‘Oh, I never thought anything of the trouble, sir,’ replied Mrs. Bardell; ‘and, of course, I should take more trouble to please you then, than ever; but it is so kind of you, Mr. Pickwick, to have so much consideration for my loneliness.’
‘Ah, to be sure,’ said Mr. Pickwick; ‘I never thought of that. When I am in town, you’ll always have somebody to sit with you. To be sure, so you will.’
‘I am sure I ought to be a very happy woman,’ said Mrs. Bardell.
‘And your little boy —’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘Bless his heart!’ interposed Mrs. Bardell, with a maternal34 sob35.
‘He, too, will have a companion,’ resumed Mr. Pickwick, ‘a lively one, who’ll teach him, I’ll be bound, more tricks in a week than he would ever learn in a year.’ And Mr. Pickwick smiled placidly36.
‘Oh, you dear —’ said Mrs. Bardell.
Mr. Pickwick started.
‘Oh, you kind, good, playful dear,’ said Mrs. Bardell; and without more ado, she rose from her chair, and flung her arms round Mr. Pickwick’s neck, with a cataract38 of tears and a chorus of sobs39.
‘Bless my soul,’ cried the astonished Mr. Pickwick; ‘Mrs. Bardell, my good woman — dear me, what a situation — pray consider. — Mrs. Bardell, don’t — if anybody should come —’
‘Oh, let them come,’ exclaimed Mrs. Bardell frantically40; ‘I’ll never leave you — dear, kind, good soul;’ and, with these words, Mrs. Bardell clung the tighter.
‘Mercy upon me,’ said Mr. Pickwick, struggling violently, ‘I hear somebody coming up the stairs. Don’t, don’t, there’s a good creature, don’t.’ But entreaty41 and remonstrance42 were alike unavailing; for Mrs. Bardell had fainted in Mr. Pickwick’s arms; and before he could gain time to deposit her on a chair, Master Bardell entered the room, ushering43 in Mr. Tupman, Mr. Winkle, and Mr. Snodgrass.
Mr. Pickwick was struck motionless and speechless. He stood with his lovely burden in his arms, gazing vacantly on the countenances44 of his friends, without the slightest attempt at recognition or explanation. They, in their turn, stared at him; and Master Bardell, in his turn, stared at everybody.
The astonishment45 of the Pickwickians was so absorbing, and the perplexity of Mr. Pickwick was so extreme, that they might have remained in exactly the same relative situations until the suspended animation46 of the lady was restored, had it not been for a most beautiful and touching47 expression of filial affection on the part of her youthful son. Clad in a tight suit of corduroy, spangled with brass48 buttons of a very considerable size, he at first stood at the door astounded49 and uncertain; but by degrees, the impression that his mother must have suffered some personal damage pervaded50 his partially51 developed mind, and considering Mr. Pickwick as the aggressor, he set up an appalling52 and semi– earthly kind of howling, and butting53 forward with his head, commenced assailing54 that immortal55 gentleman about the back and legs, with such blows and pinches as the strength of his arm, and the violence of his excitement, allowed.
‘Take this little villain56 away,’ said the agonised Mr. Pickwick, ‘he’s mad.’
‘What is the matter?’ said the three tongue-tied Pickwickians.
‘I don’t know,’ replied Mr. Pickwick pettishly57. ‘Take away the boy.’ (Here Mr. Winkle carried the interesting boy, screaming and struggling, to the farther end of the apartment.) ‘Now help me, lead this woman downstairs.’
‘Oh, I am better now,’ said Mrs. Bardell faintly.
‘Let me lead you downstairs,’ said the ever-gallant Mr. Tupman.
‘Thank you, sir — thank you;’ exclaimed Mrs. Bardell hysterically58. And downstairs she was led accordingly, accompanied by her affectionate son.
‘I cannot conceive,’ said Mr. Pickwick when his friend returned —‘I cannot conceive what has been the matter with that woman. I had merely announced to her my intention of keeping a man-servant, when she fell into the extraordinary paroxysm in which you found her. Very extraordinary thing.’
‘Very,’ said his three friends.
‘Placed me in such an extremely awkward situation,’ continued Mr. Pickwick.
‘Very,’ was the reply of his followers59, as they coughed slightly, and looked dubiously60 at each other.
This behaviour was not lost upon Mr. Pickwick. He remarked their incredulity. They evidently suspected him.
‘There is a man in the passage now,’ said Mr. Tupman.
‘It’s the man I spoke61 to you about,’ said Mr. Pickwick; ‘I sent for him to the Borough this morning. Have the goodness to call him up, Snodgrass.’
Mr. Snodgrass did as he was desired; and Mr. Samuel Weller forthwith presented himself.
‘Oh — you remember me, I suppose?’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘I should think so,’ replied Sam, with a patronising wink27. ‘Queer start that ‘ere, but he was one too many for you, warn’t he? Up to snuff and a pinch or two over — eh?’
‘Never mind that matter now,’ said Mr. Pickwick hastily; ‘I want to speak to you about something else. Sit down.’
‘Thank’ee, sir,’ said Sam. And down he sat without further bidding, having previously62 deposited his old white hat on the landing outside the door. ‘‘Tain’t a wery good ’un to look at,’ said Sam, ‘but it’s an astonishin’ ’un to wear; and afore the brim went, it was a wery handsome tile. Hows’ever it’s lighter63 without it, that’s one thing, and every hole lets in some air, that’s another — wentilation gossamer64 I calls it.’ On the delivery of this sentiment, Mr. Weller smiled agreeably upon the assembled Pickwickians.
‘Now with regard to the matter on which I, with the concurrence65 of these gentlemen, sent for you,’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘That’s the pint66, sir,’ interposed Sam; ‘out vith it, as the father said to his child, when he swallowed a farden.’
‘We want to know, in the first place,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘whether you have any reason to be discontented with your present situation.’
‘Afore I answers that ‘ere question, gen’l’m’n,’ replied Mr. Weller, ‘I should like to know, in the first place, whether you’re a-goin’ to purwide me with a better?’
A sunbeam of placid37 benevolence67 played on Mr. Pickwick’s features as he said, ‘I have half made up my mind to engage you myself.’
‘Have you, though?’ said Sam.
Mr. Pickwick nodded in the affirmative.
‘Wages?’ inquired Sam.
‘Twelve pounds a year,’ replied Mr. Pickwick.
‘Clothes?’
‘Two suits.’
‘Work?’
‘To attend upon me; and travel about with me and these gentlemen here.’ ‘Take the bill down,’ said Sam emphatically. ‘I’m let to a single gentleman, and the terms is agreed upon.’
‘You accept the situation?’ inquired Mr. Pickwick. ‘Cert’nly,’ replied Sam. ‘If the clothes fits me half as well as the place, they’ll do.’
‘You can get a character of course?’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘Ask the landlady o’ the White Hart about that, Sir,’ replied Sam.
‘Can you come this evening?’
‘I’ll get into the clothes this minute, if they’re here,’ said Sam, with great alacrity68.
‘Call at eight this evening,’ said Mr. Pickwick; ‘and if the inquiries69 are satisfactory, they shall be provided.’
With the single exception of one amiable indiscretion, in which an assistant housemaid had equally participated, the history of Mr. Weller’s conduct was so very blameless, that Mr. Pickwick felt fully70 justified71 in closing the engagement that very evening. With the promptness and energy which characterised not only the public proceedings72, but all the private actions of this extraordinary man, he at once led his new attendant to one of those convenient emporiums where gentlemen’s new and second– hand clothes are provided, and the troublesome and inconvenient73 formality of measurement dispensed74 with; and before night had closed in, Mr. Weller was furnished with a grey coat with the P. C. button, a black hat with a cockade to it, a pink striped waistcoat, light breeches and gaiters, and a variety of other necessaries, too numerous to recapitulate75.
‘Well,’ said that suddenly-transformed individual, as he took his seat on the outside of the Eatanswill coach next morning; ‘I wonder whether I’m meant to be a footman, or a groom76, or a gamekeeper, or a seedsman. I looks like a sort of compo of every one on ’em. Never mind; there’s a change of air, plenty to see, and little to do; and all this suits my complaint uncommon77; so long life to the Pickvicks, says I!’
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1
proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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epoch
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| n.(新)时代；历元 | |
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sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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populous
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| adj.人口稠密的，人口众多的 | |
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7
landlady
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| n.女房东，女地主 | |
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comely
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| adj.漂亮的，合宜的 | |
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bustling
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| adj.喧闹的 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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fowls
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| 鸟( fowl的名词复数 )； 禽肉； 既不是这； 非驴非马 | |
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inmates
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| n.囚犯( inmate的名词复数 ) | |
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lodger
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| n.寄宿人，房客 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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dwarfish
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| a.像侏儒的，矮小的 | |
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gutters
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| （路边）排水沟( gutter的名词复数 )； 阴沟； （屋顶的）天沟； 贫贱的境地 | |
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reigned
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| vi.当政，统治（reign的过去式形式） | |
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conversant
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| adj.亲近的，有交情的，熟悉的 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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manifestations
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| n.表示，显示（manifestation的复数形式） | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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borough
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| n.享有自治权的市镇；(英)自治市镇 | |
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remonstrated
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| v.抗议( remonstrate的过去式和过去分词 )；告诫 | |
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expiration
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| n.终结，期满，呼气，呼出物 | |
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wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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pinnacle
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| n.尖塔，尖顶，山峰；(喻)顶峰 | |
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extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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aspire
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| vi.(to，after)渴望，追求，有志于 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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maternal
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| adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的 | |
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sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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placidly
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| adv.平稳地，平静地 | |
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placid
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| adj.安静的，平和的 | |
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cataract
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| n.大瀑布，奔流，洪水，白内障 | |
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sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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frantically
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| ad.发狂地, 发疯地 | |
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entreaty
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| n.恳求，哀求 | |
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remonstrance
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| n抗议，抱怨 | |
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ushering
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| v.引，领，陪同( usher的现在分词 ) | |
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countenances
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| n.面容( countenance的名词复数 )；表情；镇静；道义支持 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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animation
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| n.活泼，兴奋，卡通片／动画片的制作 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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astounded
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| v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词)；愕然；愕；惊讶 | |
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pervaded
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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partially
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| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
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appalling
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| adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的 | |
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butting
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| 用头撞人（犯规动作） | |
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assailing
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| v.攻击( assail的现在分词 )；困扰；质问；毅然应对 | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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pettishly
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hysterically
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| ad. 歇斯底里地 | |
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followers
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| 追随者( follower的名词复数 )； 用户； 契据的附面； 从动件 | |
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dubiously
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| adv.可疑地，怀疑地 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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lighter
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| n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级 | |
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gossamer
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| n.薄纱，游丝 | |
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concurrence
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| n.同意；并发 | |
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pint
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| n.品脱 | |
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benevolence
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| n.慈悲，捐助 | |
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alacrity
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| n.敏捷，轻快，乐意 | |
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inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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inconvenient
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| adj.不方便的，令人感到麻烦的 | |
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dispensed
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| v.分配( dispense的过去式和过去分词 )；施与；配（药） | |
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recapitulate
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| v.节述要旨，择要说明 | |
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76
groom
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| vt.给（马、狗等）梳毛，照料，使...整洁 | |
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77
uncommon
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| adj.罕见的，非凡的，不平常的 | |
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