‘But surely, my dear sir,’ said little Perker, as he stood in Mr. Pickwick’s apartment on the morning after the trial, ‘surely you don’t really mean — really and seriously now, and irritation1 apart — that you won’t pay these costs and damages?’
‘Not one halfpenny,’ said Mr. Pickwick firmly; ‘not one halfpenny.’
‘Hooroar for the principle, as the money-lender said ven he vouldn’t renew the bill,’ observed Mr. Weller, who was clearing away the breakfast-things.
‘Sam,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘have the goodness to step downstairs.’
‘Cert’nly, sir,’ replied Mr. Weller; and acting2 on Mr. Pickwick’s gentle hint, Sam retired3.
‘No, Perker,’ said Mr. Pickwick, with great seriousness of manner, ‘my friends here have endeavoured to dissuade4 me from this determination, but without avail. I shall employ myself as usual, until the opposite party have the power of issuing a legal process of execution against me; and if they are vile5 enough to avail themselves of it, and to arrest my person, I shall yield myself up with perfect cheerfulness and content of heart. When can they do this?’
‘They can issue execution, my dear Sir, for the amount of the damages and taxed costs, next term,’ replied Perker, ‘just two months hence, my dear sir.’
‘Very good,’ said Mr. Pickwick. ‘Until that time, my dear fellow, let me hear no more of the matter. And now,’ continued Mr. Pickwick, looking round on his friends with a good-humoured smile, and a sparkle in the eye which no spectacles could dim or conceal6, ‘the only question is, Where shall we go next?’
Mr. Tupman and Mr. Snodgrass were too much affected7 by their friend’s heroism8 to offer any reply. Mr. Winkle had not yet sufficiently9 recovered the recollection of his evidence at the trial, to make any observation on any subject, so Mr. Pickwick paused in vain.
‘Well,’ said that gentleman, ‘if you leave me to suggest our destination, I say Bath. I think none of us have ever been there.’
Nobody had; and as the proposition was warmly seconded by Perker, who considered it extremely probable that if Mr. Pickwick saw a little change and gaiety he would be inclined to think better of his determination, and worse of a debtor’s prison, it was carried unanimously; and Sam was at once despatched to the White Horse Cellar, to take five places by the half-past seven o’clock coach, next morning.
There were just two places to be had inside, and just three to be had out; so Sam Weller booked for them all, and having exchanged a few compliments with the booking-office clerk on the subject of a pewter half-crown which was tendered him as a portion of his ‘change,’ walked back to the George and Vulture, where he was pretty busily employed until bed-time in reducing clothes and linen11 into the smallest possible compass, and exerting his mechanical genius in constructing a variety of ingenious devices for keeping the lids on boxes which had neither locks nor hinges.
The next was a very unpropitious morning for a journey — muggy12, damp, and drizzly13. The horses in the stages that were going out, and had come through the city, were smoking so, that the outside passengers were invisible. The newspaper-sellers looked moist, and smelled mouldy; the wet ran off the hats of the orange-vendors as they thrust their heads into the coach windows, and diluted14 the insides in a refreshing15 manner. The Jews with the fifty-bladed penknives shut them up in despair; the men with the pocket-books made pocket-books of them. Watch-guards and toasting-forks were alike at a discount, and pencil-cases and sponges were a drug in the market.
Leaving Sam Weller to rescue the luggage from the seven or eight porters who flung themselves savagely16 upon it, the moment the coach stopped, and finding that they were about twenty minutes too early, Mr. Pickwick and his friends went for shelter into the travellers’ room — the last resource of human dejection.
The travellers’ room at the White Horse Cellar is of course uncomfortable; it would be no travellers’ room if it were not. It is the right-hand parlour, into which an aspiring17 kitchen fireplace appears to have walked, accompanied by a rebellious18 poker19, tongs20, and shovel21. It is divided into boxes, for the solitary22 confinement23 of travellers, and is furnished with a clock, a looking-glass, and a live waiter, which latter article is kept in a small kennel24 for washing glasses, in a corner of the apartment.
One of these boxes was occupied, on this particular occasion, by a stern-eyed man of about five-and-forty, who had a bald and glossy25 forehead, with a good deal of black hair at the sides and back of his head, and large black whiskers. He was buttoned up to the chin in a brown coat; and had a large sealskin travelling-cap, and a greatcoat and cloak, lying on the seat beside him. He looked up from his breakfast as Mr. Pickwick entered, with a fierce and peremptory26 air, which was very dignified27; and, having scrutinised that gentleman and his companions to his entire satisfaction, hummed a tune28, in a manner which seemed to say that he rather suspected somebody wanted to take advantage of him, but it wouldn’t do.
‘Waiter,’ said the gentleman with the whiskers.
‘Sir?’ replied a man with a dirty complexion30, and a towel of the same, emerging from the kennel before mentioned.
‘Some more toast.’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Buttered toast, mind,’ said the gentleman fiercely.
‘Directly, sir,’ replied the waiter.
The gentleman with the whiskers hummed a tune in the same manner as before, and pending31 the arrival of the toast, advanced to the front of the fire, and, taking his coat tails under his arms, looked at his boots and ruminated32.
‘I wonder whereabouts in Bath this coach puts up,’ said Mr. Pickwick, mildly addressing Mr. Winkle.
‘Hum — eh — what’s that?’ said the strange man.
‘I made an observation to my friend, sir,’ replied Mr. Pickwick, always ready to enter into conversation. ‘I wondered at what house the Bath coach put up. Perhaps you can inform me.’ ‘Are you going to Bath?’ said the strange man.
‘I am, sir,’ replied Mr. Pickwick.
‘And those other gentlemen?’
‘They are going also,’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘Not inside — I’ll be damned if you’re going inside,’ said the strange man.
‘Not all of us,’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘No, not all of you,’ said the strange man emphatically. ‘I’ve taken two places. If they try to squeeze six people into an infernal box that only holds four, I’ll take a post-chaise and bring an action. I’ve paid my fare. It won’t do; I told the clerk when I took my places that it wouldn’t do. I know these things have been done. I know they are done every day; but I never was done, and I never will be. Those who know me best, best know it; crush me!’ Here the fierce gentleman rang the bell with great violence, and told the waiter he’d better bring the toast in five seconds, or he’d know the reason why.
‘My good sir,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘you will allow me to observe that this is a very unnecessary display of excitement. I have only taken places inside for two.’
‘I am glad to hear it,’ said the fierce man. ‘I withdraw my expressions. I tender an apology. There’s my card. Give me your acquaintance.’
‘With great pleasure, Sir,’ replied Mr. Pickwick. ‘We are to be fellow-travellers, and I hope we shall find each other’s society mutually agreeable.’
‘I hope we shall,’ said the fierce gentleman. ‘I know we shall. I like your looks; they please me. Gentlemen, your hands and names. Know me.’
Of course, an interchange of friendly salutations followed this gracious speech; and the fierce gentleman immediately proceeded to inform the friends, in the same short, abrupt34, jerking sentences, that his name was Dowler; that he was going to Bath on pleasure; that he was formerly35 in the army; that he had now set up in business as a gentleman; that he lived upon the profits; and that the individual for whom the second place was taken, was a personage no less illustrious than Mrs. Dowler, his lady wife.
‘She’s a fine woman,’ said Mr. Dowler. ‘I am proud of her. I have reason.’
‘I hope I shall have the pleasure of judging,’ said Mr. Pickwick, with a smile. ‘You shall,’ replied Dowler. ‘She shall know you. She shall esteem36 you. I courted her under singular circumstances. I won her through a rash vow37. Thus. I saw her; I loved her; I proposed; she refused me. —“You love another?”—“Spare my blushes.”—“I know him.”—“You do.”—“Very good; if he remains38 here, I’ll skin him.”’
‘Lord bless me!’ exclaimed Mr. Pickwick involuntarily.
‘Did you skin the gentleman, Sir?’ inquired Mr. Winkle, with a very pale face.
‘I wrote him a note, I said it was a painful thing. And so it was.’
‘Certainly,’ interposed Mr. Winkle.
‘I said I had pledged my word as a gentleman to skin him. My character was at stake. I had no alternative. As an officer in His Majesty’s service, I was bound to skin him. I regretted the necessity, but it must be done. He was open to conviction. He saw that the rules of the service were imperative39. He fled. I married her. Here’s the coach. That’s her head.’
As Mr. Dowler concluded, he pointed40 to a stage which had just driven up, from the open window of which a rather pretty face in a bright blue bonnet41 was looking among the crowd on the pavement, most probably for the rash man himself. Mr. Dowler paid his bill, and hurried out with his travelling cap, coat, and cloak; and Mr. Pickwick and his friends followed to secure their places. Mr. Tupman and Mr. Snodgrass had seated themselves at the back part of the coach; Mr. Winkle had got inside; and Mr. Pickwick was preparing to follow him, when Sam Weller came up to his master, and whispering in his ear, begged to speak to him, with an air of the deepest mystery.
‘Well, Sam,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘what’s the matter now?’
‘Here’s rayther a rum go, sir,’ replied Sam.
‘What?’ inquired Mr. Pickwick.
‘This here, Sir,’ rejoined Sam. ‘I’m wery much afeerd, sir, that the properiator o’ this here coach is a playin’ some imperence vith us.’
‘How is that, Sam?’ said Mr. Pickwick; ‘aren’t the names down on the way-bill?’
‘The names is not only down on the vay-bill, Sir,’ replied Sam, ‘but they’ve painted vun on ’em up, on the door o’ the coach.’ As Sam spoke42, he pointed to that part of the coach door on which the proprietor’s name usually appears; and there, sure enough, in gilt43 letters of a goodly size, was the magic name of PICKWICK!
‘Dear me,’ exclaimed Mr. Pickwick, quite staggered by the coincidence; ‘what a very extraordinary thing!’
‘Yes, but that ain’t all,’ said Sam, again directing his master’s attention to the coach door; ‘not content vith writin’ up “Pick– wick,” they puts “Moses” afore it, vich I call addin’ insult to injury, as the parrot said ven they not only took him from his native land, but made him talk the English langwidge arterwards.’
‘It’s odd enough, certainly, Sam,’ said Mr. Pickwick; ‘but if we stand talking here, we shall lose our places.’
‘Wot, ain’t nothin’ to be done in consequence, sir?’ exclaimed Sam, perfectly44 aghast at the coolness with which Mr. Pickwick prepared to ensconce himself inside.
‘Done!’ said Mr. Pickwick. ‘What should be done?’ ‘Ain’t nobody to be whopped for takin’ this here liberty, sir?’ said Mr. Weller, who had expected that at least he would have been commissioned to challenge the guard and the coachman to a pugilistic encounter on the spot.
‘Certainly not,’ replied Mr. Pickwick eagerly; ‘not on any account. Jump up to your seat directly.’
‘I am wery much afeered,’ muttered Sam to himself, as he turned away, ‘that somethin’ queer’s come over the governor, or he’d never ha’ stood this so quiet. I hope that ‘ere trial hasn’t broke his spirit, but it looks bad, wery bad.’ Mr. Weller shook his head gravely; and it is worthy45 of remark, as an illustration of the manner in which he took this circumstance to heart, that he did not speak another word until the coach reached the Kensington turnpike. Which was so long a time for him to remain taciturn, that the fact may be considered wholly unprecedented46.
Nothing worthy of special mention occurred during the journey. Mr. Dowler related a variety of anecdotes47, all illustrative of his own personal prowess and desperation, and appealed to Mrs. Dowler in corroboration50 thereof; when Mrs. Dowler invariably brought in, in the form of an appendix, some remarkable51 fact or circumstance which Mr. Dowler had forgotten, or had perhaps through modesty52, omitted; for the addenda53 in every instance went to show that Mr. Dowler was even a more wonderful fellow than he made himself out to be. Mr. Pickwick and Mr. Winkle listened with great admiration54, and at intervals55 conversed56 with Mrs. Dowler, who was a very agreeable and fascinating person. So, what between Mr. Dowler’s stories, and Mrs. Dowler’s charms, and Mr. Pickwick’s good-humour, and Mr. Winkle’s good listening, the insides contrived57 to be very companionable all the way. The outsides did as outsides always do. They were very cheerful and talkative at the beginning of every stage, and very dismal58 and sleepy in the middle, and very bright and wakeful again towards the end. There was one young gentleman in an India-rubber cloak, who smoked cigars all day; and there was another young gentleman in a parody59 upon a greatcoat, who lighted a good many, and feeling obviously unsettled after the second whiff, threw them away when he thought nobody was looking at him. There was a third young man on the box who wished to be learned in cattle; and an old one behind, who was familiar with farming. There was a constant succession of Christian60 names in smock-frocks and white coats, who were invited to have a ‘lift’ by the guard, and who knew every horse and hostler on the road and off it; and there was a dinner which would have been cheap at half-a-crown a mouth, if any moderate number of mouths could have eaten it in the time. And at seven o’clock P.m. Mr. Pickwick and his friends, and Mr. Dowler and his wife, respectively retired to their private sitting-rooms at the White Hart Hotel, opposite the Great Pump Room, Bath, where the waiters, from their costume, might be mistaken for Westminster boys, only they destroy the illusion by behaving themselves much better. Breakfast had scarcely been cleared away on the succeeding morning, when a waiter brought in Mr. Dowler’s card, with a request to be allowed permission to introduce a friend. Mr. Dowler at once followed up the delivery of the card, by bringing himself and the friend also.
The friend was a charming young man of not much more than fifty, dressed in a very bright blue coat with resplendent buttons, black trousers, and the thinnest possible pair of highly-polished boots. A gold eye-glass was suspended from his neck by a short, broad, black ribbon; a gold snuff-box was lightly clasped in his left hand; gold rings innumerable glittered on his fingers; and a large diamond pin set in gold glistened61 in his shirt frill. He had a gold watch, and a gold curb62 chain with large gold seals; and he carried a pliant63 ebony cane64 with a gold top. His linen was of the very whitest, finest, and stiffest; his wig65 of the glossiest66, blackest, and curliest. His snuff was princes’ mixture; his scent67 BOUQUET68 DU ROI. His features were contracted into a perpetual smile; and his teeth were in such perfect order that it was difficult at a small distance to tell the real from the false.
‘Mr. Pickwick,’ said Mr. Dowler; ‘my friend, Angelo Cyrus Bantam, Esquire, M.C.; Bantam; Mr. Pickwick. Know each other.’
‘Welcome to Ba-ath, Sir. This is indeed an acquisition. Most welcome to Ba-ath, sir. It is long — very long, Mr. Pickwick, since you drank the waters. It appears an age, Mr. Pickwick. Re-markable!’
Such were the expressions with which Angelo Cyrus Bantam, Esquire, M.C., took Mr. Pickwick’s hand; retaining it in his, meantime, and shrugging up his shoulders with a constant succession of bows, as if he really could not make up his mind to the trial of letting it go again.
‘It is a very long time since I drank the waters, certainly,’ replied Mr. Pickwick; ‘for, to the best of my knowledge, I was never here before.’
‘Never in Ba-ath, Mr. Pickwick!’ exclaimed the Grand Master, letting the hand fall in astonishment70. ‘Never in Ba-ath! He! he! Mr. Pickwick, you are a wag. Not bad, not bad. Good, good. He! he! he! Re-markable!’
‘To my shame, I must say that I am perfectly serious,’ rejoined Mr. Pickwick. ‘I really never was here before.’
‘Oh, I see,’ exclaimed the Grand Master, looking extremely pleased; ‘yes, yes — good, good — better and better. You are the gentleman of whom we have heard. Yes; we know you, Mr. Pickwick; we know you.’
‘The reports of the trial in those confounded papers,’ thought Mr. Pickwick. ‘They have heard all about me.’ ‘You are the gentleman residing on Clapham Green,’ resumed Bantam, ‘who lost the use of his limbs from imprudently taking cold after port wine; who could not be moved in consequence of acute suffering, and who had the water from the king’s bath bottled at one hundred and three degrees, and sent by wagon71 to his bedroom in town, where he bathed, sneezed, and the same day recovered. Very remarkable!’
Mr. Pickwick acknowledged the compliment which the supposition implied, but had the self-denial to repudiate72 it, notwithstanding; and taking advantage of a moment’s silence on the part of the M.C., begged to introduce his friends, Mr. Tupman, Mr. Winkle, and Mr. Snodgrass. An introduction which overwhelmed the M.C. with delight and honour.
‘Bantam,’ said Mr. Dowler, ‘Mr. Pickwick and his friends are strangers. They must put their names down. Where’s the book?’
‘The register of the distinguished73 visitors in Ba-ath will be at the Pump Room this morning at two o’clock,’ replied the M.C. ‘Will you guide our friends to that splendid building, and enable me to procure74 their autographs?’
‘I will,’ rejoined Dowler. ‘This is a long call. It’s time to go. I shall be here again in an hour. Come.’
‘This is a ball-night,’ said the M.C., again taking Mr. Pickwick’s hand, as he rose to go. ‘The ball-nights in Ba-ath are moments snatched from paradise; rendered bewitching by music, beauty, elegance75, fashion, etiquette76, and — and — above all, by the absence of tradespeople, who are quite inconsistent with paradise, and who have an amalgamation77 of themselves at the Guildhall every fortnight, which is, to say the least, remarkable. Good-bye, good-bye!’ and protesting all the way downstairs that he was most satisfied, and most delighted, and most overpowered, and most flattered, Angelo Cyrus Bantam, Esquire, M.C., stepped into a very elegant chariot that waited at the door, and rattled78 off.
At the appointed hour, Mr. Pickwick and his friends, escorted by Dowler, repaired to the Assembly Rooms, and wrote their names down in the book — an instance of condescension79 at which Angelo Bantam was even more overpowered than before. Tickets of admission to that evening’s assembly were to have been prepared for the whole party, but as they were not ready, Mr. Pickwick undertook, despite all the protestations to the contrary of Angelo Bantam, to send Sam for them at four o’clock in the afternoon, to the M.C.‘s house in Queen Square. Having taken a short walk through the city, and arrived at the unanimous conclusion that Park Street was very much like the perpendicular80 streets a man sees in a dream, which he cannot get up for the life of him, they returned to the White Hart, and despatched Sam on the errand to which his master had pledged him.
Sam Weller put on his hat in a very easy and graceful81 manner, and, thrusting his hands in his waistcoat pockets, walked with great deliberation to Queen Square, whistling as he went along, several of the most popular airs of the day, as arranged with entirely82 new movements for that noble instrument the organ, either mouth or barrel. Arriving at the number in Queen Square to which he had been directed, he left off whistling and gave a cheerful knock, which was instantaneously answered by a powdered-headed footman in gorgeous livery, and of symmetrical stature83.
‘is this here Mr. Bantam’s, old feller?’ inquired Sam Weller, nothing abashed84 by the blaze of splendour which burst upon his sight in the person of the powdered-headed footman with the gorgeous livery.
‘Why, young man?’ was the haughty85 inquiry86 of the powdered-headed footman.
‘‘Cos if it is, jist you step in to him with that ‘ere card, and say Mr. Veller’s a-waitin’, will you?’ said Sam. And saying it, he very coolly walked into the hall, and sat down.
The powdered-headed footman slammed the door very hard, and scowled87 very grandly; but both the slam and the scowl88 were lost upon Sam, who was regarding a mahogany umbrella-stand with every outward token of critical approval.
Apparently89 his master’s reception of the card had impressed the powdered-headed footman in Sam’s favour, for when he came back from delivering it, he smiled in a friendly manner, and said that the answer would be ready directly.
‘Wery good,’ said Sam. ‘Tell the old gen’l’m’n not to put himself in a perspiration90. No hurry, six-foot. I’ve had my dinner.’
‘You dine early, sir,’ said the powdered-headed footman.
‘I find I gets on better at supper when I does,’ replied Sam.
‘Have you been long in Bath, sir?’ inquired the powdered-headed footman. ‘I have not had the pleasure of hearing of you before.’
‘I haven’t created any wery surprisin’ sensation here, as yet,’ rejoined Sam, ‘for me and the other fash’nables only come last night.’
‘Nice place, Sir,’ said the powdered-headed footman.
‘Seems so,’ observed Sam.
‘Pleasant society, sir,’ remarked the powdered-headed footman. ‘Very agreeable servants, sir.’
‘I should think they wos,’ replied Sam. ‘Affable, unaffected, say-nothin’-to-nobody sorts o’ fellers.’
‘Oh, very much so, indeed, sir,’ said the powdered-headed footman, taking Sam’s remarks as a high compliment. ‘Very much so indeed. Do you do anything in this way, Sir?’ inquired the tall footman, producing a small snuff-box with a fox’s head on the top of it.
‘Not without sneezing,’ replied Sam.
‘Why, it IS difficult, sir, I confess,’ said the tall footman. ‘It may be done by degrees, Sir. Coffee is the best practice. I carried coffee, Sir, for a long time. It looks very like rappee, sir.’
Here, a sharp peal49 at the bell reduced the powdered-headed footman to the ignominious91 necessity of putting the fox’s head in his pocket, and hastening with a humble92 countenance93 to Mr. Bantam’s ‘study.’ By the bye, who ever knew a man who never read or wrote either, who hadn’t got some small back parlour which he WOULD call a study!
‘There is the answer, sir,’ said the powdered-headed footman. ‘I’m afraid you’ll find it inconveniently94 large.’
‘Don’t mention it,’ said Sam, taking a letter with a small enclosure. ‘It’s just possible as exhausted95 natur’ may manage to surwive it.’
‘I hope we shall meet again, Sir,’ said the powdered-headed footman, rubbing his hands, and following Sam out to the door-step.
‘You are wery obligin’, sir,’ replied Sam. ‘Now, don’t allow yourself to be fatigued96 beyond your powers; there’s a amiable97 bein’. Consider what you owe to society, and don’t let yourself be injured by too much work. For the sake o’ your feller-creeturs, keep yourself as quiet as you can; only think what a loss you would be!’ With these pathetic words, Sam Weller departed.
‘A very singular young man that,’ said the powdered-headed footman, looking after Mr. Weller, with a countenance which clearly showed he could make nothing of him.
Sam said nothing at all. He winked98, shook his head, smiled, winked again; and, with an expression of countenance which seemed to denote that he was greatly amused with something or other, walked merrily away.
At precisely99 twenty minutes before eight o’clock that night, Angelo Cyrus Bantam, Esq., the Master of the Ceremonies, emerged from his chariot at the door of the Assembly Rooms in the same wig, the same teeth, the same eye-glass, the same watch and seals, the same rings, the same shirt-pin, and the same cane. The only observable alterations100 in his appearance were, that he wore a brighter blue coat, with a white silk lining101, black tights, black silk stockings, and pumps, and a white waistcoat, and was, if possible, just a thought more scented102.
Thus attired103, the Master of the Ceremonies, in strict discharge of the important duties of his all-important office, planted himself in the room to receive the company.
Bath being full, the company, and the sixpences for tea, poured in, in shoals. In the ballroom104, the long card-room, the octagonal card-room, the staircases, and the passages, the hum of many voices, and the sound of many feet, were perfectly bewildering. Dresses rustled105, feathers waved, lights shone, and jewels sparkled. There was the music — not of the quadrille band, for it had not yet commenced; but the music of soft, tiny footsteps, with now and then a clear, merry laugh — low and gentle, but very pleasant to hear in a female voice, whether in Bath or elsewhere. Brilliant eyes, lighted up with pleasurable expectation, gleamed from every side; and, look where you would, some exquisite106 form glided107 gracefully108 through the throng109, and was no sooner lost, than it was replaced by another as dainty and bewitching.
In the tea-room, and hovering110 round the card-tables, were a vast number of queer old ladies, and decrepit111 old gentlemen, discussing all the small talk and scandal of the day, with a relish112 and gusto which sufficiently bespoke113 the intensity114 of the pleasure they derived115 from the occupation. Mingled116 with these groups, were three or four match-making mammas, appearing to be wholly absorbed by the conversation in which they were taking part, but failing not from time to time to cast an anxious sidelong glance upon their daughters, who, remembering the maternal117 injunction to make the best use of their youth, had already commenced incipient118 flirtations in the mislaying scarves, putting on gloves, setting down cups, and so forth119; slight matters apparently, but which may be turned to surprisingly good account by expert practitioners120.
Lounging near the doors, and in remote corners, were various knots of silly young men, displaying various varieties of puppyism and stupidity; amusing all sensible people near them with their folly121 and conceit122; and happily thinking themselves the objects of general admiration — a wise and merciful dispensation which no good man will quarrel with.
And lastly, seated on some of the back benches, where they had already taken up their positions for the evening, were divers123 unmarried ladies past their grand climacteric, who, not dancing because there were no partners for them, and not playing cards lest they should be set down as irretrievably single, were in the favourable124 situation of being able to abuse everybody without reflecting on themselves. In short, they could abuse everybody, because everybody was there. It was a scene of gaiety, glitter, and show; of richly-dressed people, handsome mirrors, chalked floors, girandoles and wax-candles; and in all parts of the scene, gliding125 from spot to spot in silent softness, bowing obsequiously127 to this party, nodding familiarly to that, and smiling complacently128 on all, was the sprucely-attired person of Angelo Cyrus Bantam, Esquire, the Master of the Ceremonies.
‘Stop in the tea-room. Take your sixpenn’orth. Then lay on hot water, and call it tea. Drink it,’ said Mr. Dowler, in a loud voice, directing Mr. Pickwick, who advanced at the head of the little party, with Mrs. Dowler on his arm. Into the tea-room Mr. Pickwick turned; and catching129 sight of him, Mr. Bantam corkscrewed his way through the crowd and welcomed him with ecstasy130.
‘My dear Sir, I am highly honoured. Ba-ath is favoured. Mrs. Dowler, you embellish131 the rooms. I congratulate you on your feathers. Re-markable!’
‘Anybody here?’ inquired Dowler suspiciously.
‘Anybody! The ELITE132 of Ba-ath. Mr. Pickwick, do you see the old lady in the gauze turban?’
‘The fat old lady?’ inquired Mr. Pickwick innocently.
‘Hush, my dear sir — nobody’s fat or old in Ba-ath. That’s the Dowager Lady Snuphanuph.’
‘Is it, indeed?’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘No less a person, I assure you,’ said the Master of the Ceremonies. ‘Hush. Draw a little nearer, Mr. Pickwick. You see the splendidly-dressed young man coming this way?’
‘The one with the long hair, and the particularly small forehead?’ inquired Mr. Pickwick.
‘The same. The richest young man in Ba-ath at this moment. Young Lord Mutanhed.’
‘You don’t say so?’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘Yes. You’ll hear his voice in a moment, Mr. Pickwick. He’ll speak to me. The other gentleman with him, in the red under-waistcoat and dark moustache, is the Honourable133 Mr. Crushton, his bosom134 friend. How do you do, my Lord?’
‘Veway hot, Bantam,’ said his Lordship.
‘It IS very warm, my Lord,’ replied the M.C.
‘Confounded,’ assented135 the Honourable Mr. Crushton.
‘Have you seen his Lordship’s mail-cart, Bantam?’ inquired the Honourable Mr. Crushton, after a short pause, during which young Lord Mutanhed had been endeavouring to stare Mr. Pickwick out of countenance, and Mr. Crushton had been reflecting what subject his Lordship could talk about best.
‘Dear me, no,’ replied the M.C.‘A mail-cart! What an excellent idea. Re-markable!’
‘Gwacious heavens!’ said his Lordship, ‘I thought evewebody had seen the new mail-cart; it’s the neatest, pwettiest, gwacefullest thing that ever wan29 upon wheels. Painted wed33, with a cweam piebald.’
‘With a real box for the letters, and all complete,’ said the Honourable Mr. Crushton.
‘And a little seat in fwont, with an iwon wail136, for the dwiver,’ added his Lordship. ‘I dwove it over to Bwistol the other morning, in a cwimson coat, with two servants widing a quarter of a mile behind; and confound me if the people didn’t wush out of their cottages, and awest my pwogwess, to know if I wasn’t the post. Glorwious — glorwious!’
At this anecdote48 his Lordship laughed very heartily137, as did the listeners, of course. Then, drawing his arm through that of the obsequious126 Mr. Crushton, Lord Mutanhed walked away.
‘Delightful young man, his Lordship,’ said the Master of the Ceremonies.
‘So I should think,’ rejoined Mr. Pickwick drily.
The dancing having commenced, the necessary introductions having been made, and all preliminaries arranged, Angelo Bantam rejoined Mr. Pickwick, and led him into the card-room.
Just at the very moment of their entrance, the Dowager Lady Snuphanuph and two other ladies of an ancient and whist-like appearance, were hovering over an unoccupied card-table; and they no sooner set eyes upon Mr. Pickwick under the convoy138 of Angelo Bantam, than they exchanged glances with each other, seeing that he was precisely the very person they wanted, to make up the rubber.
‘My dear Bantam,’ said the Dowager Lady Snuphanuph coaxingly139, ‘find us some nice creature to make up this table; there’s a good soul.’ Mr. Pickwick happened to be looking another way at the moment, so her Ladyship nodded her head towards him, and frowned expressively140.
‘My friend Mr. Pickwick, my Lady, will be most happy, I am sure, remarkably141 so,’ said the M.C., taking the hint. ‘Mr. Pickwick, Lady Snuphanuph — Mrs. Colonel Wugsby — Miss Bolo.’
Mr. Pickwick bowed to each of the ladies, and, finding escape impossible, cut. Mr. Pickwick and Miss Bolo against Lady Snuphanuph and Mrs. Colonel Wugsby. As the trump142 card was turned up, at the commencement of the second deal, two young ladies hurried into the room, and took their stations on either side of Mrs. Colonel Wugsby’s chair, where they waited patiently until the hand was over.
‘Now, Jane,’ said Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, turning to one of the girls, ‘what is it?’ ‘I came to ask, ma, whether I might dance with the youngest Mr. Crawley,’ whispered the prettier and younger of the two.
‘Good God, Jane, how can you think of such things?’ replied the mamma indignantly. ‘Haven’t you repeatedly heard that his father has eight hundred a year, which dies with him? I am ashamed of you. Not on any account.’
‘Ma,’ whispered the other, who was much older than her sister, and very insipid143 and artificial, ‘Lord Mutanhed has been introduced to me. I said I thought I wasn’t engaged, ma.’
‘You’re a sweet pet, my love,’ replied Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, tapping her daughter’s cheek with her fan, ‘and are always to be trusted. He’s immensely rich, my dear. Bless you!’ With these words Mrs. Colonel Wugsby kissed her eldest144 daughter most affectionately, and frowning in a warning manner upon the other, sorted her cards.
Poor Mr. Pickwick! he had never played with three thorough-paced female card-players before. They were so desperately145 sharp, that they quite frightened him. If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers146; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience147 and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug69 up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin. Then, at the end of every hand, Miss Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh, why Mr. Pickwick had not returned that diamond, or led the club, or roughed the spade, or finessed148 the heart, or led through the honour, or brought out the ace10, or played up to the king, or some such thing; and in reply to all these grave charges, Mr. Pickwick would be wholly unable to plead any justification149 whatever, having by this time forgotten all about the game. People came and looked on, too, which made Mr. Pickwick nervous. Besides all this, there was a great deal of distracting conversation near the table, between Angelo Bantam and the two Misses Matinter, who, being single and singular, paid great court to the Master of the Ceremonies, in the hope of getting a stray partner now and then. All these things, combined with the noises and interruptions of constant comings in and goings out, made Mr. Pickwick play rather badly; the cards were against him, also; and when they left off at ten minutes past eleven, Miss Bolo rose from the table considerably150 agitated151, and went straight home, in a flood of tears and a sedan-chair.
Being joined by his friends, who one and all protested that they had scarcely ever spent a more pleasant evening, Mr. Pickwick accompanied them to the White Hart, and having soothed152 his feelings with something hot, went to bed, and to sleep, almost simultaneously153.
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收听单词发音
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1
irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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2
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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3
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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4
dissuade
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| v.劝阻，阻止 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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6
conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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8
heroism
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| n.大无畏精神，英勇 | |
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9
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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10
ace
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| n.A牌；发球得分；佼佼者；adj.杰出的 | |
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11
linen
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| n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的 | |
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12
muggy
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| adj.闷热的；adv.（天气）闷热而潮湿地；n.（天气）闷热而潮湿 | |
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13
drizzly
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| a.毛毛雨的(a drizzly day) | |
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14
diluted
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| 无力的，冲淡的 | |
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15
refreshing
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| adj.使精神振作的，使人清爽的，使人喜欢的 | |
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16
savagely
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| adv. 野蛮地，残酷地 | |
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17
aspiring
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| adj.有志气的；有抱负的；高耸的v.渴望；追求 | |
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18
rebellious
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| adj.造反的，反抗的，难控制的 | |
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19
poker
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| n.扑克；vt.烙制 | |
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20
tongs
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| n.钳；夹子 | |
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21
shovel
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| n.铁锨，铲子，一铲之量；v.铲，铲出 | |
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22
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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23
confinement
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| n.幽禁，拘留，监禁；分娩；限制，局限 | |
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24
kennel
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| n.狗舍，狗窝 | |
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25
glossy
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| adj.平滑的；有光泽的 | |
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26
peremptory
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| adj.紧急的，专横的，断然的 | |
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27
dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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28
tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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29
wan
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| (wide area network)广域网 | |
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30
complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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31
pending
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| prep.直到，等待…期间；adj.待定的；迫近的 | |
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32
ruminated
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| v.沉思( ruminate的过去式和过去分词 )；反复考虑；反刍；倒嚼 | |
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33
wed
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| v.娶，嫁，与…结婚 | |
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34
abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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35
formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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36
esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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37
vow
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| n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓 | |
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38
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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39
imperative
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| n.命令，需要；规则；祈使语气；adj.强制的；紧急的 | |
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40
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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41
bonnet
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| n.无边女帽；童帽 | |
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42
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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43
gilt
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| adj.镀金的；n.金边证券 | |
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44
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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45
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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46
unprecedented
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| adj.无前例的，新奇的 | |
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47
anecdotes
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| n.掌故，趣闻，轶事( anecdote的名词复数 ) | |
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48
anecdote
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| n.轶事，趣闻，短故事 | |
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49
peal
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| n.钟声；v.鸣响 | |
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50
corroboration
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| n.进一步的证实，进一步的证据 | |
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51
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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52
modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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53
addenda
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| n.附录，附加物；附加物( addendum的名词复数 )；补遗；附录；（齿轮的）齿顶（高） | |
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54
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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55
intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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56
conversed
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的过去式 ) | |
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57
contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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58
dismal
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| adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的 | |
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59
parody
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| n.打油诗文，诙谐的改编诗文，拙劣的模仿；v.拙劣模仿，作模仿诗文 | |
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60
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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61
glistened
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| v.湿物闪耀，闪亮( glisten的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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62
curb
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| n.场外证券市场，场外交易；vt.制止，抑制 | |
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63
pliant
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| adj.顺从的；可弯曲的 | |
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64
cane
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| n.手杖，细长的茎，藤条；v.以杖击，以藤编制的 | |
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65
wig
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| n.假发 | |
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66
glossiest
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| 光滑的( glossy的最高级 )； 虚有其表的； 浮华的 | |
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67
scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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68
bouquet
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| n.花束，酒香 | |
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69
shrug
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| v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等) | |
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70
astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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71
wagon
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| n.四轮马车，手推车，面包车；无盖运货列车 | |
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72
repudiate
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| v.拒绝，拒付，拒绝履行 | |
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73
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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74
procure
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| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
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75
elegance
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| n.优雅；优美，雅致；精致，巧妙 | |
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76
etiquette
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| n.礼仪，礼节；规矩 | |
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77
amalgamation
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| n.合并，重组；；汞齐化 | |
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78
rattled
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| 慌乱的，恼火的 | |
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79
condescension
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| n.自以为高人一等，贬低(别人) | |
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80
perpendicular
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| adj.垂直的，直立的；n.垂直线，垂直的位置 | |
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81
graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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82
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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83
stature
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| n.（高度）水平，（高度）境界，身高，身材 | |
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84
abashed
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| adj.窘迫的，尴尬的v.使羞愧，使局促，使窘迫( abash的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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85
haughty
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| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
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86
inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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87
scowled
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| 怒视，生气地皱眉( scowl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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88
scowl
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| vi.(at)生气地皱眉，沉下脸，怒视；n.怒容 | |
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89
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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90
perspiration
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| n.汗水；出汗 | |
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91
ignominious
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| adj.可鄙的，不光彩的，耻辱的 | |
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92
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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93
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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94
inconveniently
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| ad.不方便地 | |
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95
exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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96
fatigued
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| adj. 疲乏的 | |
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97
amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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98
winked
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| v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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99
precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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100
alterations
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| n.改动( alteration的名词复数 )；更改；变化；改变 | |
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101
lining
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| n.衬里，衬料 | |
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102
scented
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| adj.有香味的；洒香水的；有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词) | |
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103
attired
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| adj.穿着整齐的v.使穿上衣服，使穿上盛装( attire的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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104
ballroom
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| n.舞厅 | |
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105
rustled
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| v.发出沙沙的声音( rustle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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106
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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107
glided
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| v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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108
gracefully
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| ad.大大方方地；优美地 | |
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109
throng
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| n.人群，群众；v.拥挤，群集 | |
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110
hovering
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| 鸟( hover的现在分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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111
decrepit
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| adj.衰老的，破旧的 | |
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112
relish
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| n.滋味，享受，爱好，调味品；vt.加调味料，享受，品味；vi.有滋味 | |
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113
bespoke
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| adj.（产品）订做的；专做订货的v.预定( bespeak的过去式 )；订（货）；证明；预先请求 | |
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intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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115
derived
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| vi.起源；由来；衍生；导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取 | |
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mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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117
maternal
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| adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的 | |
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incipient
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| adj.起初的，发端的，初期的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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practitioners
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| n.习艺者，实习者( practitioner的名词复数 )；从业者（尤指医师） | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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conceit
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| n.自负，自高自大 | |
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divers
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| adj.不同的；种种的 | |
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favourable
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| adj.赞成的，称赞的，有利的，良好的，顺利的 | |
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gliding
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| v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
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obsequious
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| adj.谄媚的，奉承的，顺从的 | |
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127
obsequiously
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complacently
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| adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
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129
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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embellish
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| v.装饰，布置；给…添加细节，润饰 | |
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elite
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| n.精英阶层；实力集团；adj.杰出的，卓越的 | |
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honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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assented
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| 同意，赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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wail
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| vt./vi.大声哀号，恸哭；呼啸，尖啸 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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convoy
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| vt.护送，护卫，护航；n.护送；护送队 | |
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139
coaxingly
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| adv. 以巧言诱哄，以甘言哄骗 | |
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expressively
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| ad.表示(某事物)地；表达地 | |
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remarkably
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| ad.不同寻常地，相当地 | |
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142
trump
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| n.王牌，法宝；v.打出王牌，吹喇叭 | |
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insipid
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| adj.无味的，枯燥乏味的，单调的 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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146
daggers
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| 匕首，短剑( dagger的名词复数 ) | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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148
finessed
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| v.手腕，手段，技巧( finesse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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justification
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| n.正当的理由；辩解的理由 | |
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considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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soothed
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| v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 )；抚慰；使舒服；减轻痛苦 | |
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simultaneously
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| adv.同时发生地，同时进行地 | |
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