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Chapter 6
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THE next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing1 by rushlight; but this morning we were obliged to dispense2 with the ceremony of washing; the water in the pitchers3 was frozen. A change had taken place in the weather the preceding evening, and a keen north-east wind, whistling through the crevices4 of our bedroom windows all night long, had made us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents of the ewers5 to ice.
Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible-reading was over, I felt ready to perish with cold. Breakfast-time came at last, and this morning the porridge was not burnt; the quality was eatable, the quantity small. How small my portion seemed! I wished it had been doubled.

In the course of the day I was enrolled6 a member of the fourth class, and regular tasks and occupations were assigned me: hitherto, I had only been a spectator of the proceedings7 at Lowood; I was now to become an actor therein. At first, being little accustomed to learn by heart, the lessons appeared to me both long and difficult; the frequent change from task to task, too, bewildered me; and I was glad when, about three o'clock in the afternoon, Miss Smith put into my hands a border of muslin two yards long, together with needle, thimble, etc., and sent me to sit in a quiet corner of the schoolroom, with directions to hem8 the same. At that hour most of the others were sewing likewise; but one class still stood round Miss Scatcherd's chair reading, and as all was quiet, the subject of their lessons could be heard, together with the manner in which each girl acquitted9 herself, and the animadversions or commendations of Miss Scatcherd on the performance. It was English history: among the readers I observed my acquaintance of the verandah: at the commencement of the lesson, her place had been at the top of the class, but for some error of pronunciation, or some inattention to stops, she was suddenly sent to the very bottom. Even in that obscure position, Miss Scatcherd continued to make her an object of constant notice; she was continually addressing to her such phrases as the following:-'Burns' (such it seems was her name: the girls here were all called by their surnames, as boys are elsewhere), 'Burns, you are standing10 on the side of your shoe; turn your toes out immediately.' 'Burns, you poke11 your chin most unpleasantly; draw it in.' 'Burns, I insist on your holding your head up; I will not have you before me in that attitude,' etc. etc.

A chapter having been read through twice, the books were closed and the girls examined. The lesson had comprised part of the reign12 of Charles I, and there were sundry13 questions about tonnage and poundage and ship-money, which most of them appeared unable to answer; still, every little difficulty was solved instantly when it reached  Burns: her memory seemed to have retained the substance of the whole lesson, and she was ready with answers on every point. I kept expecting that Miss Scatcherd would praise her attention; but, instead of that, she suddenly cried out- 'You dirty, disagreeable girl! you have never cleaned your nails this morning!'

Burns made no answer: I wondered at her silence.

'Why,' thought I, 'does she not explain that she could neither clean her nails nor wash her face, as the water was frozen?'

My attention was now called off by Miss Smith desiring me to hold a skein of thread: while she was winding14 it, she talked to me from time to time, asking whether I had ever been at school before, whether I could mark, stitch, knit, etc.; till she dismissed me, I could not pursue my observations on Miss Scatcherd's movements. When I returned to my seat, that lady was just delivering an order of which I did not catch the import; but Burns immediately left the class, and going into the small inner room where the books were kept, returned in half a minute, carrying in her hand a bundle of twigs15 tied together at one end. This ominous16 tool she presented to Miss Scatcherd with a respectful curtsey; then she quietly, and without being told, unloosed her pinafore, and the teacher instantly and sharply inflicted17 on her neck a dozen strokes with the bunch of twigs. Not a tear rose to Burns's eye; and, while I paused from my sewing, because my fingers quivered at this spectacle with a sentiment of unavailing and impotent anger, not a feature of her pensive18 face altered its ordinary expression.

'Hardened girl!' exclaimed Miss Scatcherd; 'nothing can correct you of your slatternly habits: carry the rod away.'

Burns obeyed: I looked at her narrowly as she emerged from the book-closet; she was just putting back her handkerchief into her pocket, and the trace of a tear glistened19 on her thin cheek.

The play-hour in the evening I thought the pleasantest fraction of the day at Lowood: the bit of bread, the draught20 of coffee swallowed at five o'clock had revived vitality21, if it had not satisfied hunger: the long restraint of the day was slackened; the schoolroom felt warmer than in the morning- its fires being allowed to burn a little more brightly, to supply, in some measure, the place of candles, not yet introduced: the ruddy gloaming, the licenseduproar, the confusion of many voices gave one a welcome sense of liberty.

On the evening of the day on which I had seen Miss Scatcherd flog her pupil, Burns, I wandered as usual among the forms and tables and laughing groups without a companion, yet not feeling lonely: when I passed the windows, I now and then lifted a blind, and looked out; it snowed fast, a drift was already forming against the lower panes22; putting my ear close to the window, I could distinguish from the gleeful tumult23 within, the disconsolate24 moan of the wind outside.

Probably, if I had lately left a good home and kind parents, this would have been the hour when I should most keenly have regretted the separation; that wind would then have saddened my heart, this obscure chaos25 would have disturbed my peace! as it was, I derived26 from both a strange excitement, and reckless and feverish27, I wished the wind to howl more wildly, the gloom to deepen to darkness, and the confusion to rise to clamour.

Jumping over forms, and creeping under tables, I made my way to one of the fire-places; there, kneeling by the high wire fender, I found Burns, absorbed, silent, abstracted from all round her by the companionship of a book, which she read by the dim glare of the embers.

'Is it still Rasselas?' I asked, coming behind her.

'Yes,' she said, 'and I have just finished it.'

And in five minutes more she shut it up. I was glad of this.

'Now,' thought I, 'I can perhaps get her to talk.' I sat down by her on the floor.

'What is your name besides Burns?'

'Helen.'

'Do you come a long way from here?'

'I come from a place farther north, quite on the borders of Scotland.'

'Will you ever go back?'

'I hope so; but nobody can be sure of the future.'

'You must wish to leave Lowood?'

'No! why should I? I was sent to Lowood to get an education; and it would be of no use going away until I have attained28 that object.'

'But that teacher, Miss Scatcherd, is so cruel to you?'

'Cruel? Not at all! She is severe: she dislikes my faults.'

'And if I were in your place I should dislike her; I should resist her. If she struck me with that rod, I should get it from her hand; I should break it under her nose.'

'Probably you would do nothing of the sort: but if you did, Mr. Brocklehurst would expel you from the school; that would be a great grief to your relations. It is far better to endure patiently a smart which nobody feels but yourself, than to commit a hasty action whose evil consequences will extend to all connected with you; and besides, the Bible bids us return good for evil.'

'But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and to be sent to stand in the middle of a room full of people; and you are such a great girl: I am far younger than you, and I could not bear it.'

'Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is weak and silly to say you cannot bear what it is your fate to be required to bear.'

I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine29 of endurance; and still less could I understand or sympathise with the forbearance she expressed for her chastiser30. Still I felt that Helen Burns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes. I suspected she might be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply; like Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.

'You say you have faults, Helen: what are they? To me you seem very good.'

'Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances: I am, as Miss Scatcherd said, slatternly; I seldom put, and never keep, things in order; I am careless; I forget rules; I read when I should learn my lessons; I have no method; and sometimes I say, like you, I cannot bear to be subjected to systematic31 arrangements. This is all very provoking to Miss Scatcherd, who is naturally neat, punctual, and particular.'

'And cross and cruel,' I added; but Helen Burns would not admit my addition: she kept silence.

'Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss Scatcherd?'

At the utterance32 of Miss Temple's name, a soft smile flitted over her grave face.

'Miss Temple is full of goodness; it pains her to be severe to any one, even the worst in the school: she sees my errors, and tells me of them gently; and if I do anything worthy33 of praise, she gives me my meed liberally. One strong proof of my wretchedly defective34 nature is, that even her expostulations, so mild, so rational, have no influence to cure me of my faults; and even her praise, though I value it most highly, cannot stimulate35 me to continued care and foresight36.'

'That is curious,' said I, 'it is so easy to be careful.'

'For you I have no doubt it is. I observed you in your class this morning, and saw you were closely attentive37: your thoughts never seemed to wander while Miss Miller38 explained the lesson and questioned you. Now, mine continually rove away; when I should be listening to Miss Scatcherd, and collecting all she says with assiduity, often I lose the very sound of her voice; I fall into a sort of dream.

Sometimes I think I am in Northumberland, and that the noises I hear round me are the bubbling of a little brook39 which runs through Deepden, near our house;- then, when it comes to my turn to reply, I have to be awakened40; and having heard nothing of what was read for listening to the visionary brook, I have no answer ready.'

'Yet how well you replied this afternoon.'

'It was mere41 chance; the subject on which we had been reading had interested me. This afternoon, instead of dreaming of Deepden, I was wondering how a man who wished to do right could act so unjustly and unwisely as Charles the First sometimes did; and I thought what a pity it was that, with his integrity and conscientiousness42, he could see no farther than the prerogatives43 of the crown. If he had but been able to look to a distance, and see how what they call the spirit of the age was tending! Still, I like Charles- I respect him- I pity him, poor murdered king! Yes, his enemies were the worst: they shed blood they had no right to shed. How dared they kill him!'

Helen was talking to herself now: she had forgotten I could not very well understand her- that I was ignorant, or nearly so, of the subject she discussed. I recalled her to my level.

'And when Miss Temple teaches you, do your thoughts wander then?'

'No, certainly, not often: because Miss Temple has generally something to say which is newer than my own reflections; her language is singularly agreeable to me, and the information she communicates is often just what I wished to gain.'

'Well, then, with Miss Temple you are good?'

'Yes, in a passive way: I make no effort; I follow as inclination44 guides me. There is no merit in such goodness.'

'A great deal: you are good to those who are good to you. It is all I ever desire to be. If people were always kind and obedient to those who are cruel and unjust, the wicked people would have it all their own way: they would never feel afraid, and so they would never alter, but would grow worse and worse. When we are struck at without a reason, we should strike back again very hard; I am sure we should- so hard as to teach the person who struck us never to do it again.'

'You will change your mind, I hope, when you grow older: as yet you are but a little untaught girl.'

'But I feel this, Helen; I must dislike those who, whatever I do to please them, persist in disliking me; I must resist those who punish me unjustly. It is as natural as that I should love those who show me affection, or submit to punishment when I feel it is deserved.'

'Heathens and savage45 tribes hold that doctrine, but Christians46 and civilised nations disown it.'

'How? I don't understand.'

'It is not violence that best overcomes hate- nor vengeance47 that most certainly heals injury.'

'What then?'

'Read the New Testament48, and observe what Christ says, and how He acts; make His word your rule, and His conduct your example.'

'What does He say?'

'Love your enemies; bless them that curse you; do good to them that hate you and despitefully use you.'

'Then I should love Mrs. Reed, which I cannot do; I should bless her son John, which is impossible.'

In her turn, Helen Burns asked me to explain, and I proceeded forthwith to pour out, in my own way, the tale of my sufferings and resentments49. Bitter and truculent50 when excited, I spoke51 as I felt, without reserve or softening52.

Helen heard me patiently to the end: I expected she would then make a remark, but she said nothing.

'Well,' I asked impatiently, 'is not Mrs. Reed a hard-hearted, bad woman?'

'She has been unkind to you, no doubt; because you see, she dislikes your cast of character, as Miss Scatcherd does mine; but how minutely you remember all she has done and said to you! What a singularly deep impression her injustice53 seems to have made on your heart! No ill-usage so brands its record on my feelings. Would you not be happier if you tried to forget her severity, together with the passionate54 emotions it excited? Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs. We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with faults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall put them off in putting off our corruptible55 bodies; when debasement and sin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the spark of the spirit will remain,- the impalpable principle of light and thought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence it came it will return; perhaps again to be communicated to some being higher than man- perhaps to pass through gradations of glory, from the pale human soul to brighten to the seraph56! Surely it Will never, on the contrary, be suffered to degenerate57 from man to fiend? No; I cannot believe that: I hold another creed58: which no one ever taught me, and which I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for it extends hope to all: it makes Eternity59 a rest- a mighty60 home, not a terror and an abyss. Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly distinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely forgive the first while I abhor61 the last: with this creed revenge never worries my heart, degradation62 never too deeply disgusts me, injustice never crushes me too low: I live in calm, looking to the end.'

Helen's head, always drooping63, sank a little lower as she finished this sentence. I saw by her look she wished no longer to talk to me, but rather to converse64 with her own thoughts. She was not allowed much time for meditation65: a monitor, a great rough girl, presently came up, exclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent- 'Helen Burns, if you don't go and put your drawer in order, and fold up your work this minute, I'll tell Miss Scatcherd to come and look at it!'

Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor without reply as without delay.


第二天开始了,同以前一样,穿衣起身还是借着灯草芯蜡烛的微光,不过今天早晨不得不放弃洗脸仪式了,因为罐里的水都结了冰。头一天夜里、天气变了,刺骨的东北风,透过寝室窗门的缝隙,彻夜呼呼吹着,弄得我们在床上直打哆嗦,罐子里的水也结起了冰。

一个半小时的祷告和圣经诵读还没结束,我已觉得快要冻死了。早餐时间终于到来,而且今天的粥没有烧焦,能够下咽,可惜量少。我的那份看上去多少呀!我真希望能增加一倍。

那天我被编入第四班,给布置了正规任务和作业。在此之前,我在罗沃德不过是静观一切进程的旁观者,而现在己成了其中的一名演员。起先,由于我不习惯背诵,觉得课文似乎又长又难,功课一门门不断变换,弄得我头昏脑胀。下午三点光景,史密斯小姐把一根两码长的平纹细布滚边塞到我手里,连同针和顶针之类的东西,让我坐在教室僻静的角落,根据指令依样画葫芦缝上滚边,我一时喜出望外。在那时刻,其他人也大多一样在缝,只有一个班仍围着斯卡查德小姐的椅子,站着读书。四周鸦雀无声,所以听得见她们功课的内容,也听得见每个姑娘读得怎样,听得见斯卡查德小姐对她们表现的责备和赞扬。这是一堂英国历史课,我注意到在读书的人中,有一位是我在游廊上相识的。开始上课时,她被安排在全班首位,可是由于某些发音错误及对句号的忽视,她突然被降到末尾去了。即使在这种不起眼的位置上,斯卡查德小姐也继续使她成为始终引人注目的对象,不断用这样的措词同她说话:

“彭斯,(这似乎就是她的名字,这儿的女孩像其他地方的男孩一样,都按姓来叫的)彭斯,你鞋子踩偏了,快把脚趾伸直。”“彭斯,你伸着下巴,多难看,把它收回去。”“彭斯,我要你抬起头来,我不允许你在我面前做出这付样子来”等等。

一章书从头到尾读了两遍,课本便合了起来,姑娘们受到了考问。这堂课讲的是查理一世王朝的一个时期,问的问题形形式式,船舶吨位税呀,按镑收税呀,造船税呀,大多数人似乎都无法回答,但是一到彭斯那里,每一道难题都迎刃而解。她像已经把整堂课的内容都记在脑子里了,任何问题都能应对自如。我一直以为斯卡查德小姐要称赞她专心致志了,谁知她突然大叫起来:“你这讨厌的邋遢姑娘?你早上根本没有洗过指甲?”

彭斯没有回答,我对她的沉默感到纳闷。

“为什么,”我想,“她不解释一下,水结冻了,脸和指甲都没法洗?”

此刻,史密斯小姐转移了我的注意力,她让我替她撑住一束线,一面绕,一面不时跟我说话。问我以前是否进过学校,能否绣花、缝纫、编织等,直到她打发我走,我才有可能进一步观察斯卡查德小姐的行动。我回到自己的座位上时,那女人正在发布一道命令,命令的内容我没有听清楚。但是彭斯立刻离开了班级,走进里面一个放书的小间,过了半分钟又返回来,手里拿着一束一头扎好的木条。她毕恭毕敬地行了个屈膝礼,把这个不祥的刑具递交给了斯卡查德小姐。随后,她不用吩咐,便默默地解开了罩衣,这位教师立刻用这束木条狠狠地在她脖子上揍了十几下,彭斯没有掉一滴眼泪。见了这种情景,我心头涌起了一种徒劳无益、无能为力的愤怒,气得手指都颤抖起来,而不得不停下手头的针线活。她那忧郁的面容毫不改色,依然保持着平日的表情。

“顽固不化的姑娘!”斯卡查德小姐嚷道,“什么都改不掉你邋遢的习性,把木条拿走。”

彭斯听从吩咐。她从藏书室里出来时,我细细打量了她,她正把手帕放回自己的口袋,瘦瘦的脸颊闪着泪痕。

晚间的玩耍时光,我想是罗沃德一天中最愉快的一丁点儿时间。五点钟吞下的一小块面包和几口咖啡,虽然没有消除饥饿感,却恢复了活力。一整天的清规戒律放松了;教室里比早上要暖和;炉火允许燃得比平时旺,多少代替了尚未点燃的蜡烛。红通通的火光,放肆的喧闹,嘈杂的人声,给人以一种值得欢迎的自由感。

在我看见斯卡查德小姐鞭打她的学生彭斯的那天晚上,我照例在长凳、桌子和笑声不绝的人群中间穿来穿去,虽然无人作伴,倒也并不寂寞。经过窗户时,我不时拉起百叶窗,向外眺望。雪下得很紧,下端的窗玻璃上已经积起了一层,我把耳朵贴在窗上,分辩得出里面轻快的喧哗和外面寒风凄厉的呻吟。

如果我刚离开了一个温暖的家和慈祥的双亲,这一时刻也许会非常后悔当初的离别;那风会使我伤心不已:这种模糊的混沌会打破我的平静,但实际上两者激起了我一莫名的兴奋,在不安和狂热之中,我盼望风会咆哮得更猛烈;天色会更加昏暗变得一团漆黑,嗡嗡的人声会进而成为喧嚣。

我跨过凳子钻过桌子,寻路来到一个壁炉跟前,跪在高高的铁丝防护板旁边,我发现彭斯有一本书作伴,全神贯注,沉默不语,忘掉了周围的一切,借着余火灰暗的闪光读着书。

“还是那本《拉塞拉斯》吗?”我来到她背后说。

“是的,”她说,“我刚读完它。”

过了五分钟她掩上了书。这正合我心意。

“现在,”我想,“我也许能使她开口了吧。”我—屁股坐在她旁边的地板上。

“除了彭斯,你还叫什么?”

“海伦。”

“你从很远的地方来吗?”

“我来自很靠北的一个地方,靠近苏格兰边界了。”

“你还回去吗?”

“我希望能这样,可是对未来谁也没有把握。”

“你想必很希望离开罗沃德,是吗?”

“不,干嘛要这样呢?送我到罗沃德来是接受教育的,没有达到这个目的就走才没有意思呢。”

“可是那位教师,就是斯卡查德小姐,对你那么凶狠。”

“凶狠?一点也没有!她很严格。她不喜欢我的缺点。”

“如果我是你,我会讨厌她的,我会抵制。要是她用那束木条打我,我会从她手里夺过来,当着她的面把它折断。”

“兴许你根本不会干那类事。但要是你干了,布罗克赫斯特先生会把你撵出学校的,那会使你的亲戚感到难过。耐心忍受只有自己感到的痛苦,远比草率行动,产生连累亲朋的恶果要好,更何况《圣经》上嘱咐我们要以德报怨。”

“可是挨鞭子,罚站在满屋子是人的房间当中,毕竟是丢脸的呀!而且你己经是那么个大姑娘了。我比你小得多还受不了呢。”

“不过,要是你无法避免,那你的职责就是忍受。如果你命里注定需要忍受,那么说自己不能忍受就是软弱,就是犯傻。”

我听了感到不胜惊讶。我不能理解这“忍受”信条,更无法明白或同情她对惩罚者所表现出的宽容。不过我仍觉得海伦.彭斯是根据一种我所看不见的眼光来考虑事情的。我怀疑可能她对,我不对。但是我对这事不想再去深究,像费利克斯一样,我将它推迟到以后方便的时候去考虑。

“你说你有缺陷,海伦,什么缺陷?我看你很好嘛。”

“那你就听我说吧,别以貌取人,像斯卡查德小姐说的那样,我很邋遢。我难得把东西整理好,永远那么乱糟糟。我很粗心,总把规则忘掉,应当学习功课时却看闲书。我做事没有条理。有时像你一样会说,我受不了那种井井有条的管束。这一桩桩都使斯卡查德小姐很恼火,她天生讲究整洁,遵守时刻,一丝不苟。”

“而且脾气急躁,强横霸道,”我补充说,但海论并没有附和,却依然沉默不语。

“坦普尔小姐跟斯卡查德小姐对你一样严厉吗?”

一提到坦普尔小姐的名字,她阴沉的脸上便掠过了一丝温柔的微笑。

“坦普尔小姐非常善良,不忍心对任何人严厉,即使是校里最差的学生。她看到我的错误,便和颜悦色地向我指出。要是我做了值得称赞的事情,她就慷慨地赞扬我。我的本性有严重缺陷,一个有力的证据是,尽管她的规劝那么恰到好处,那么合情合理,却依旧治不了我那些毛病。甚至她的赞扬,虽然我非常看重,却无法激励我始终小心谨慎,高瞻远瞩。”

“那倒是奇怪的,”我说,“要做到小心还不容易。”

“对你说来无疑是这样。早上我仔细观察了你上课时的情形,发现你非常专心。米勒小姐讲解功课,问你问题时,你思想从不开小差。而我的思绪却总是飘忽不定,当我应该听斯卡查德小姐讲课,应该用心把她讲的记住时,我常常连她说话的声音都听不见了。我进入了一种梦境,有时我以为自己到了诺森伯兰郡,以为周围的耳语声,是我家附近流过深谷那条小溪源源的水声,于是轮到我回答时,我得从梦境中被唤醒。而因为倾听着想象中的溪流声,现实中便什么也没有听到,我也就回答不上来了。”

“可是你今天,下午回答得多好!”

“那只是碰巧,因为我对我们读的内容很感兴趣,今天下午我没有梦游深谷,我在纳闷,一个像查理一世那样希望做好事的人,怎么有时会干出那么不义的蠢事来,我想这多可惜,那么正直真诚的人竟看不到皇权以外的东西。要是他能看得远些,看清了所谓时代精神的走向该多好!虽然这样,我还是喜欢查理一世,我尊敬他,我怜惜他,这位可怜的被谋杀的皇帝。不错,他的仇敌最坏,他们让自己没有权利伤害的人流了血,竟敢杀害了他!”

此刻海伦在自言自语了,她忘了我无法很好理解她的话,忘了我对她谈论的话题一无所知,或者差不多如此。我把她拉回到我的水准上来。

“那么坦普尔小姐上课的时候,你也走神吗?”

“当然不是,不常这样。因为坦普尔小姐总是有比我的想法更富有新意的东西要说。她的语言也特别让我喜欢,她所传授的知识常常是我所希望获得的。”

“这么看来,你在坦普尔小姐面前表现很好罗。”

“是的,出于被动。我没有费力气,只是随心所欲而己,这种表现好没有什么了不起。”

“很了不起,别人待你好,你待别人也好。我就一直希望这样做。要是你对那些强横霸道的人,总是客客气气,说啥听啥,那坏人就会为所欲为,就会天不怕地不怕,非但永远不会改,而且会愈变愈坏。要是无缘无故挨打,那我们就要狠狠地回击,肯定得这样,狠到可以教训那个打我们的人,让他再也洗手不干了。”

“我想,等你长大了你的想法会改变的,现在你不过是个没有受过教育的小姑娘。”

“可我是这么感觉的,海伦,那些不管我怎样讨他们欢心,硬是讨厌我的人,我必定会厌恶的。我必须反抗那些无理惩罚我的人。同样自然的是,我会爱那些爱抚我的人,或者当我认为自己该受罚的时候,我会心甘情愿去承受。”

“那是异教徒和野蛮宗族的信条,基督教徒和开化的民族不信这一套。”

“怎么会呢?我不懂。”

“暴力不是消除仇恨的最好办法——同样,报复也绝对医治不了伤害。”

“那么是什么呢?”

“读一读《新约全书》,注意一下基督的言行,把他的话当作你的准绳,把他的行为当你的榜样吧。”

“他怎么说?”

“你们的仇敌要爱他,咒诅你们的要为他祝福,恨你们、凌辱你们的要待他好。”

“那我应当爱里德太太了,这我可做不到;我应当祝福他儿子约翰了,但那根本不可能。”

这回轮到海伦.彭斯要求我解释明白了。我便以自己特有的方式,一五一十地向她诉说了自己的痛苦和愤懑。心里一激动,说话便尖酸刻薄,但我怎么感觉就怎么说,毫不保留,语气也不婉转。

海伦耐心地听完了我的话,我以为她会发表点感想,但她什么也没说。

“好吧,”我耐不住终于问,“难道里德太太不是一个冷酷无情的坏女人吗?”

“毫无疑问,她对你不客气。因为你瞧,她不喜欢你的性格,就像斯卡查德小姐不喜欢我的脾性一样,可是她的言行你却那么耿耿于怀!她的不公好像已经在你心坎里留下了特别深刻的印象!

无论什么虐待都不会在我的情感上烙下这样的印记。要是你忘掉她对你的严厉,忘掉由此而引起的愤慨,你不就会更愉快吗?对我来说,生命似乎太短暂了,不应用来结仇和记恨。人生在世,谁都会有一身罪过,而且必定如此,但我相信,很快就会有这么一天,我们在摆脱腐坏躯体的同时,也会摆脱这些罪过。到那时,堕落与罪过将会随同累赘的肉体离开我们,只留下精神的火花——生命和思想的本源,它像当初离开上帝使万物具有生命时那么纯洁,它从哪里来就回到哪里去,也许又会被传递给比人类更高级的东西一—也许会经过各个荣耀的阶段,从照亮人类的苍白灵魂,到照亮最高级的六翼天使。相反它决不会允许从人类坠落到魔鬼,是吧?是的,我不相信会这样。我持有另一种信条,这种信条没有人教过我,我也很少提起,但我为此感到愉快,我对它坚信不渝,因为它给所有的人都带来了希望。它使永恒成为一种安息,一个宏大的家,而并非恐惧和深渊。此外,有了这个信条,我能够清楚地分辨罪犯和他的罪孽,我可以真诚地宽恕前者,而对后者无比憎恶,有了这个信条,复仇永不会使我操心,坠落不会让我感到过份深恶痛绝,不公平不会把我完全压倒,我平静地生活,期待着末日。”

海伦向来耷拉着脑袋,而讲完这句话时她把头垂得更低了。从她的神态上我知道她不想跟我再谈下去了,而情愿同自己的思想交流。她也没有很多时间可以沉思默想了,马上就来了一位班长,一个又大又粗的姑娘,带着很重的昆布兰口音叫道:

“海伦.彭斯,要是这会儿你不去整理抽屉,收拾你的针线活儿,我要告诉斯卡查德小姐,请她来看看了。”

海伦的幻想烟消云散,她长叹一声,站了起来,没有回答,也没有耽搁,便服从了这位班长。


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 dressing 1uOzJG     
n.(食物)调料;包扎伤口的用品,敷料
参考例句:
  • Don't spend such a lot of time in dressing yourself.别花那么多时间来打扮自己。
  • The children enjoy dressing up in mother's old clothes.孩子们喜欢穿上妈妈旧时的衣服玩。
2 dispense lZgzh     
vt.分配,分发;配(药),发(药);实施
参考例句:
  • Let us dispense the food.咱们来分发这食物。
  • The charity has been given a large sum of money to dispense as it sees fit.这个慈善机构获得一大笔钱,可自行适当分配。
3 pitchers d4fd9938d0d20d5c03d355623c59c88d     
大水罐( pitcher的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • Over the next five years, he became one of the greatest pitchers in baseball. 在接下来的5年时间里,他成为了最了不起的棒球投手之一。
  • Why he probably won't: Pitchers on also-rans can win the award. 为什麽不是他得奖:投手在失败的球队可以赢得赛扬奖。
4 crevices 268603b2b5d88d8a9cc5258e16a1c2f8     
n.(尤指岩石的)裂缝,缺口( crevice的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • It has bedded into the deepest crevices of the store. 它已钻进了店里最隐避的隙缝。 来自辞典例句
  • The wind whistled through the crevices in the rock. 风呼啸着吹过岩石的缝隙。 来自辞典例句
5 ewers c3a1f71e9483b4f33b823b3f46b99105     
n.大口水壶,水罐( ewer的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • White ceramicware asas green-splashed bowls and ewers are known to have been popular in Iran. 白色陶瓷制品以及绿花的碗与大口水壶已经在伊朗流行是众所周知的事。 来自互联网
6 enrolled ff7af27948b380bff5d583359796d3c8     
adj.入学登记了的v.[亦作enrol]( enroll的过去式和过去分词 );登记,招收,使入伍(或入会、入学等),参加,成为成员;记入名册;卷起,包起
参考例句:
  • They have been studying hard from the moment they enrolled. 从入学时起,他们就一直努力学习。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He enrolled with an employment agency for a teaching position. 他在职业介绍所登了记以谋求一个教师的职位。 来自《简明英汉词典》
7 proceedings Wk2zvX     
n.进程,过程,议程;诉讼(程序);公报
参考例句:
  • He was released on bail pending committal proceedings. 他交保获释正在候审。
  • to initiate legal proceedings against sb 对某人提起诉讼
8 hem 7dIxa     
n.贴边,镶边;vt.缝贴边;(in)包围,限制
参考例句:
  • The hem on her skirt needs sewing.她裙子上的褶边需要缝一缝。
  • The hem of your dress needs to be let down an inch.你衣服的折边有必要放长1英寸。
9 acquitted c33644484a0fb8e16df9d1c2cd057cb0     
宣判…无罪( acquit的过去式和过去分词 ); 使(自己)作出某种表现
参考例句:
  • The jury acquitted him of murder. 陪审团裁决他谋杀罪不成立。
  • Five months ago she was acquitted on a shoplifting charge. 五个月前她被宣判未犯入店行窃罪。
10 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
参考例句:
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
11 poke 5SFz9     
n.刺,戳,袋;vt.拨开,刺,戳;vi.戳,刺,捅,搜索,伸出,行动散慢
参考例句:
  • We never thought she would poke her nose into this.想不到她会插上一手。
  • Don't poke fun at me.别拿我凑趣儿。
12 reign pBbzx     
n.统治时期,统治,支配,盛行;v.占优势
参考例句:
  • The reign of Queen Elizabeth lapped over into the seventeenth century.伊丽莎白王朝延至17世纪。
  • The reign of Zhu Yuanzhang lasted about 31 years.朱元璋统治了大约三十一年。
13 sundry CswwL     
adj.各式各样的,种种的
参考例句:
  • This cream can be used to treat sundry minor injuries.这种药膏可用来治各种轻伤。
  • We can see the rich man on sundry occasions.我们能在各种场合见到那个富豪。
14 winding Ue7z09     
n.绕,缠,绕组,线圈
参考例句:
  • A winding lane led down towards the river.一条弯弯曲曲的小路通向河边。
  • The winding trail caused us to lose our orientation.迂回曲折的小道使我们迷失了方向。
15 twigs 17ff1ed5da672aa443a4f6befce8e2cb     
细枝,嫩枝( twig的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • Some birds build nests of twigs. 一些鸟用树枝筑巢。
  • Willow twigs are pliable. 柳条很软。
16 ominous Xv6y5     
adj.不祥的,不吉的,预兆的,预示的
参考例句:
  • Those black clouds look ominous for our picnic.那些乌云对我们的野餐来说是个不祥之兆。
  • There was an ominous silence at the other end of the phone.电话那头出现了不祥的沉默。
17 inflicted cd6137b3bb7ad543500a72a112c6680f     
把…强加给,使承受,遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • They inflicted a humiliating defeat on the home team. 他们使主队吃了一场很没面子的败仗。
  • Zoya heroically bore the torture that the Fascists inflicted upon her. 卓娅英勇地承受法西斯匪徒加在她身上的酷刑。
18 pensive 2uTys     
a.沉思的,哀思的,忧沉的
参考例句:
  • He looked suddenly sombre,pensive.他突然看起来很阴郁,一副忧虑的样子。
  • He became so pensive that she didn't like to break into his thought.他陷入沉思之中,她不想打断他的思路。
19 glistened 17ff939f38e2a303f5df0353cf21b300     
v.湿物闪耀,闪亮( glisten的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • Pearls of dew glistened on the grass. 草地上珠露晶莹。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • Her eyes glistened with tears. 她的眼里闪着泪花。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
20 draught 7uyzIH     
n.拉,牵引,拖;一网(饮,吸,阵);顿服药量,通风;v.起草,设计
参考例句:
  • He emptied his glass at one draught.他将杯中物一饮而尽。
  • It's a pity the room has no north window and you don't get a draught.可惜这房间没北窗,没有过堂风。
21 vitality lhAw8     
n.活力,生命力,效力
参考例句:
  • He came back from his holiday bursting with vitality and good health.他度假归来之后,身强体壮,充满活力。
  • He is an ambitious young man full of enthusiasm and vitality.他是个充满热情与活力的有远大抱负的青年。
22 panes c8bd1ed369fcd03fe15520d551ab1d48     
窗玻璃( pane的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • The sun caught the panes and flashed back at him. 阳光照到窗玻璃上,又反射到他身上。
  • The window-panes are dim with steam. 玻璃窗上蒙上了一层蒸汽。
23 tumult LKrzm     
n.喧哗;激动,混乱;吵闹
参考例句:
  • The tumult in the streets awakened everyone in the house.街上的喧哗吵醒了屋子里的每一个人。
  • His voice disappeared under growing tumult.他的声音消失在越来越响的喧哗声中。
24 disconsolate OuOxR     
adj.忧郁的,不快的
参考例句:
  • He looked so disconsolate that It'scared her.他看上去情绪很坏,吓了她一跳。
  • At the dress rehearsal she was disconsolate.彩排时她闷闷不乐。
25 chaos 7bZyz     
n.混乱,无秩序
参考例句:
  • After the failure of electricity supply the city was in chaos.停电后,城市一片混乱。
  • The typhoon left chaos behind it.台风后一片混乱。
26 derived 6cddb7353e699051a384686b6b3ff1e2     
vi.起源;由来;衍生;导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 );(从…中)得到获得;源于;(从…中)提取
参考例句:
  • Many English words are derived from Latin and Greek. 英语很多词源出于拉丁文和希腊文。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He derived his enthusiasm for literature from his father. 他对文学的爱好是受他父亲的影响。 来自《简明英汉词典》
27 feverish gzsye     
adj.发烧的,狂热的,兴奋的
参考例句:
  • He is too feverish to rest.他兴奋得安静不下来。
  • They worked with feverish haste to finish the job.为了完成此事他们以狂热的速度工作着。
28 attained 1f2c1bee274e81555decf78fe9b16b2f     
(通常经过努力)实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况)
参考例句:
  • She has attained the degree of Master of Arts. 她已获得文学硕士学位。
  • Lu Hsun attained a high position in the republic of letters. 鲁迅在文坛上获得崇高的地位。
29 doctrine Pkszt     
n.教义;主义;学说
参考例句:
  • He was impelled to proclaim his doctrine.他不得不宣扬他的教义。
  • The council met to consider changes to doctrine.宗教议会开会考虑更改教义。
30 chastiser ff4391213a5e804d2eec63551ab1e304     
n.惩罚者,儆戒者
参考例句:
  • The cool-headed reckoner is the stern chastiser of the ecstatic visionary. 头脑冷静的计算者,是梦想家的严厉惩罚人。 来自互联网
31 systematic SqMwo     
adj.有系统的,有计划的,有方法的
参考例句:
  • The way he works isn't very systematic.他的工作不是很有条理。
  • The teacher made a systematic work of teaching.这个教师进行系统的教学工作。
32 utterance dKczL     
n.用言语表达,话语,言语
参考例句:
  • This utterance of his was greeted with bursts of uproarious laughter.他的讲话引起阵阵哄然大笑。
  • My voice cleaves to my throat,and sob chokes my utterance.我的噪子哽咽,泣不成声。
33 worthy vftwB     
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的
参考例句:
  • I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
  • There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。
34 defective qnLzZ     
adj.有毛病的,有问题的,有瑕疵的
参考例句:
  • The firm had received bad publicity over a defective product. 该公司因为一件次品而受到媒体攻击。
  • If the goods prove defective, the customer has the right to compensation. 如果货品证明有缺陷, 顾客有权索赔。
35 stimulate wuSwL     
vt.刺激,使兴奋;激励,使…振奋
参考例句:
  • Your encouragement will stimulate me to further efforts.你的鼓励会激发我进一步努力。
  • Success will stimulate the people for fresh efforts.成功能鼓舞人们去作新的努力。
36 foresight Wi3xm     
n.先见之明,深谋远虑
参考例句:
  • The failure is the result of our lack of foresight.这次失败是由于我们缺乏远虑而造成的。
  • It required a statesman's foresight and sagacity to make the decision.作出这个决定需要政治家的远见卓识。
37 attentive pOKyB     
adj.注意的,专心的;关心(别人)的,殷勤的
参考例句:
  • She was very attentive to her guests.她对客人招待得十分周到。
  • The speaker likes to have an attentive audience.演讲者喜欢注意力集中的听众。
38 miller ZD6xf     
n.磨坊主
参考例句:
  • Every miller draws water to his own mill.磨坊主都往自己磨里注水。
  • The skilful miller killed millions of lions with his ski.技术娴熟的磨坊主用雪橇杀死了上百万头狮子。
39 brook PSIyg     
n.小河,溪;v.忍受,容让
参考例句:
  • In our room we could hear the murmur of a distant brook.在我们房间能听到远处小溪汩汩的流水声。
  • The brook trickled through the valley.小溪涓涓流过峡谷。
40 awakened de71059d0b3cd8a1de21151c9166f9f0     
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到
参考例句:
  • She awakened to the sound of birds singing. 她醒来听到鸟的叫声。
  • The public has been awakened to the full horror of the situation. 公众完全意识到了这一状况的可怕程度。 来自《简明英汉词典》
41 mere rC1xE     
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过
参考例句:
  • That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
  • It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。
42 conscientiousness 792fcedf9faeda54c17292f7a49bcc01     
责任心
参考例句:
  • Conscientiousness is expected of a student. 学生要诚实。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Only has the conscientiousness, diligently works, can make a more splendid result! 只有脚踏实地,努力工作,才能做出更出色的成绩! 来自互联网
43 prerogatives e2f058787466d6bb48040c6f4321ae53     
n.权利( prerogative的名词复数 );特权;大主教法庭;总督委任组成的法庭
参考例句:
  • The tsar protected his personal prerogatives. 沙皇维护了自己的私人特权。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Congressmen may be reluctant to vote for legislation that infringes the traditional prerogatives of the states. 美国国会议员可能不情愿投票拥护侵犯各州传统特权的立法。 来自英汉非文学 - 环境法 - 环境法
44 inclination Gkwyj     
n.倾斜;点头;弯腰;斜坡;倾度;倾向;爱好
参考例句:
  • She greeted us with a slight inclination of the head.她微微点头向我们致意。
  • I did not feel the slightest inclination to hurry.我没有丝毫着急的意思。
45 savage ECxzR     
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人
参考例句:
  • The poor man received a savage beating from the thugs.那可怜的人遭到暴徒的痛打。
  • He has a savage temper.他脾气粗暴。
46 Christians 28e6e30f94480962cc721493f76ca6c6     
n.基督教徒( Christian的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • Christians of all denominations attended the conference. 基督教所有教派的人都出席了这次会议。
  • His novel about Jesus caused a furore among Christians. 他关于耶稣的小说激起了基督教徒的公愤。
47 vengeance wL6zs     
n.报复,报仇,复仇
参考例句:
  • He swore vengeance against the men who murdered his father.他发誓要向那些杀害他父亲的人报仇。
  • For years he brooded vengeance.多年来他一直在盘算报仇。
48 testament yyEzf     
n.遗嘱;证明
参考例句:
  • This is his last will and testament.这是他的遗愿和遗嘱。
  • It is a testament to the power of political mythology.这说明,编造政治神话可以产生多大的威力。
49 resentments 4e6d4b541f5fd83064d41eea9a6dec89     
(因受虐待而)愤恨,不满,怨恨( resentment的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • He could never transcend his resentments and his complexes. 他从来不能把他的怨恨和感情上的症结置之度外。
  • These local resentments burst into open revolt. 地方性反感变成公开暴动。
50 truculent kUazK     
adj.野蛮的,粗野的
参考例句:
  • He was seen as truculent,temperamental,too unwilling to tolerate others.他们认为他为人蛮横无理,性情暴躁,不大能容人。
  • He was in no truculent state of mind now.这会儿他心肠一点也不狠毒了。
51 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
52 softening f4d358268f6bd0b278eabb29f2ee5845     
变软,软化
参考例句:
  • Her eyes, softening, caressed his face. 她的眼光变得很温柔了。它们不住地爱抚他的脸。 来自汉英文学 - 家(1-26) - 家(1-26)
  • He might think my brain was softening or something of the kind. 他也许会觉得我婆婆妈妈的,已经成了个软心肠的人了。
53 injustice O45yL     
n.非正义,不公正,不公平,侵犯(别人的)权利
参考例句:
  • They complained of injustice in the way they had been treated.他们抱怨受到不公平的对待。
  • All his life he has been struggling against injustice.他一生都在与不公正现象作斗争。
54 passionate rLDxd     
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的
参考例句:
  • He is said to be the most passionate man.据说他是最有激情的人。
  • He is very passionate about the project.他对那个项目非常热心。
55 corruptible ed9c0a622b435f8a50b1269ee71af1cb     
易腐败的,可以贿赂的
参考例句:
  • Things there were corruptible and subject to change and decay. 那儿的东西容易腐烂、变质。 来自英汉非文学 - 科学史
  • The body is corruptible but the spirit is incorruptible. 肉体会腐败,但精神不腐朽。
56 seraph Gziw4     
n.六翼天使
参考例句:
  • Seraph is of the highest rank of angels in the Bible.六翼天使是圣经中级别最高的天使。
  • In the Bible,a seraph is a kind of angel.在圣经中,六翼天使是天使的一种。
57 degenerate 795ym     
v.退步,堕落;adj.退步的,堕落的;n.堕落者
参考例句:
  • He didn't let riches and luxury make him degenerate.他不因财富和奢华而自甘堕落。
  • Will too much freedom make them degenerate?太多的自由会令他们堕落吗?
58 creed uoxzL     
n.信条;信念,纲领
参考例句:
  • They offended against every article of his creed.他们触犯了他的每一条戒律。
  • Our creed has always been that business is business.我们的信条一直是公私分明。
59 eternity Aiwz7     
n.不朽,来世;永恒,无穷
参考例句:
  • The dull play seemed to last an eternity.这场乏味的剧似乎演个没完没了。
  • Finally,Ying Tai and Shan Bo could be together for all of eternity.英台和山伯终能双宿双飞,永世相随。
60 mighty YDWxl     
adj.强有力的;巨大的
参考例句:
  • A mighty force was about to break loose.一股巨大的力量即将迸发而出。
  • The mighty iceberg came into view.巨大的冰山出现在眼前。
61 abhor 7y4z7     
v.憎恶;痛恨
参考例句:
  • They abhor all forms of racial discrimination.他们憎恶任何形式的种族歧视。
  • They abhor all the nations who have different ideology and regime.他们仇视所有意识形态和制度与他们不同的国家。
62 degradation QxKxL     
n.降级;低落;退化;陵削;降解;衰变
参考例句:
  • There are serious problems of land degradation in some arid zones.在一些干旱地带存在严重的土地退化问题。
  • Gambling is always coupled with degradation.赌博总是与堕落相联系。
63 drooping drooping     
adj. 下垂的,无力的 动词droop的现在分词
参考例句:
  • The drooping willows are waving gently in the morning breeze. 晨风中垂柳袅袅。
  • The branches of the drooping willows were swaying lightly. 垂柳轻飘飘地摆动。
64 converse 7ZwyI     
vi.谈话,谈天,闲聊;adv.相反的,相反
参考例句:
  • He can converse in three languages.他可以用3种语言谈话。
  • I wanted to appear friendly and approachable but I think I gave the converse impression.我想显得友好、平易近人些,却发觉给人的印象恰恰相反。
65 meditation yjXyr     
n.熟虑,(尤指宗教的)默想,沉思,(pl.)冥想录
参考例句:
  • This peaceful garden lends itself to meditation.这个恬静的花园适于冥想。
  • I'm sorry to interrupt your meditation.很抱歉,我打断了你的沉思。


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