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Part 3 Chapter 12
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Till now that she was threatened with its loss, Emma had never known how much of her happiness depended on being first with Mr. Knightley, first in interest and affection. - Satisfied that it was so, and feeling it her due, she had enjoyed it without reflection; and only in the dread1 of being supplanted2, found how inexpressibly important it had been. - Long, very long, she felt she had been first; for, having no female connexions of his own, there had been only Isabella whose claims could be compared with hers, and she had always known exactly how far he loved and esteemed3 Isabella. She had herself been first with him for many years past. She had not deserved it; she had often been negligent5 or perverse6, slighting his advice, or even wilfully7 opposing him, insensible of half his merits, and quarrelling with him because he would not acknowledge her false and insolent9 estimate of her own - but still, from family attachment10 and habit, and thorough excellence11 of mind, he had loved her, and watched over her from a girl, with an endeavour to improve her, and an anxiety for her doing right, which no other creature had at all shared. In spite of all her faults, she knew she was dear to him; might she not say, very dear? - When the suggestions of hope, however, which must follow here, presented themselves, she could not presume to indulge them. Harriet Smith might think herself not unworthy of being peculiarly, exclusively, passionately12 loved by Mr. Knightley. She could not. She could not flatter herself with any idea of blindness in his attachment to her. She had received a very recent proof of its impartiality13. - How shocked had he been by her behaviour to Miss Bates! How directly, how strongly had he expressed himself to her on the subject! - Not too strongly for the offence - but far, far too strongly to issue from any feeling softer than upright justice and clear-sighted goodwill14. - She had no hope, nothing to deserve the name of hope, that he could have that sort of affection for herself which was now in question; but there was a hope (at times a slight one, at times much stronger,) that Harriet might have deceived herself, and be overrating his regard for her. - Wish it she must, for his sake - be the consequence nothing to herself, but his remaining single all his life. Could she be secure of that, indeed, of his never marrying at all, she believed she should be perfectly15 satisfied. - Let him but continue the same Mr. Knightley to her and her father, the same Mr. Knightley to all the world; let Donwell and Hartfield lose none of their precious intercourse16 of friendship and confidence, and her peace would be fully8 secured. - Marriage, in fact, would not do for her. It would be incompatible17 with what she owed to her father, and with what she felt for him. Nothing should separate her from her father. She would not marry, even if she were asked by Mr. Knightley.

It must be her ardent18 wish that Harriet might be disappointed; and she hoped, that when able to see them together again, she might at least be able to ascertain19 what the chances for it were. - She should see them henceforward with the closest observance; and wretchedly as she had hitherto misunderstood even those she was watching, she did not know how to admit that she could be blinded here. - He was expected back every day. The power of observation would be soon given - frightfully soon it appeared when her thoughts were in one course. In the meanwhile, she resolved against seeing Harriet. - It would do neither of them good, it would do the subject no good, to be talking of it farther. - She was resolved not to be convinced, as long as she could doubt, and yet had no authority for opposing Harriet's confidence. To talk would be only to irritate. - She wrote to her, therefore, kindly20, but decisively, to beg that she would not, at present, come to Hartfield; acknowledging it to be her conviction, that all farther confidential21 discussion of one topic had better be avoided; and hoping, that if a few days were allowed to pass before they met again, except in the company of others - she objected only to a tete-a-tete - they might be able to act as if they had forgotten the conversation of yesterday. - Harriet submitted, and approved, and was grateful.

This point was just arranged, when a visitor arrived to tear Emma's thoughts a little from the one subject which had engrossed22 them, sleeping or waking, the last twenty-four hours - Mrs. Weston, who had been calling on her daughter-in-law elect, and took Hartfield in her way home, almost as much in duty to Emma as in pleasure to herself, to relate all the particulars of so interesting an interview.

Mr. Weston had accompanied her to Mrs. Bates's, and gone through his share of this essential attention most handsomely; but she having then induced Miss Fairfax to join her in an airing, was now returned with much more to say, and much more to say with satisfaction, than a quarter of an hour spent in Mrs. Bates's parlour, with all the encumbrance23 of awkward feelings, could have afforded.

A little curiosity Emma had; and she made the most of it while her friend related. Mrs. Weston had set off to pay the visit in a good deal of agitation24 herself; and in the first place had wished not to go at all at present, to be allowed merely to write to Miss Fairfax instead, and to defer25 this ceremonious call till a little time had passed, and Mr. Churchill could be reconciled to the engagement's becoming known; as, considering every thing, she thought such a visit could not be paid without leading to reports: - but Mr. Weston had thought differently; he was extremely anxious to shew his approbation26 to Miss Fairfax and her family, and did not conceive that any suspicion could be excited by it; or if it were, that it would be of any consequence; for `such things,' he observed, `always got about.' Emma smiled, and felt that Mr. Weston had very good reason for saying so. They had gone, in short - and very great had been the evident distress27 and confusion of the lady. She had hardly been able to speak a word, and every look and action had shewn how deeply she was suffering from consciousness. The quiet, heart-felt satisfaction of the old lady, and the rapturous delight of her daughter - who proved even too joyous28 to talk as usual, had been a gratifying, yet almost an affecting, scene. They were both so truly respectable in their happiness, so disinterested29 in every sensation; thought so much of Jane; so much of every body, and so little of themselves, that every kindly feeling was at work for them. Miss Fairfax's recent illness had offered a fair plea for Mrs. Weston to invite her to an airing; she had drawn30 back and declined at first, but, on being pressed had yielded; and, in the course of their drive, Mrs. Weston had, by gentle encouragement, overcome so much of her embarrassment31, as to bring her to converse32 on the important subject. Apologies for her seemingly ungracious silence in their first reception, and the warmest expressions of the gratitude33 she was always feeling towards herself and Mr. Weston, must necessarily open the cause; but when these effusions were put by, they had talked a good deal of the present and of the future state of the engagement. Mrs. Weston was convinced that such conversation must be the greatest relief to her companion, pent up within her own mind as every thing had so long been, and was very much pleased with all that she had said on the subject.

`On the misery34 of what she had suffered, during the concealment35 of so many months,' continued Mrs. Weston, `she was energetic. This was one of her expressions. ``I will not say, that since I entered into the engagement I have not had some happy moments; but I can say, that I have never known the blessing36 of one tranquil37 hour:'' - and the quivering lip, Emma, which uttered it, was an attestation38 that I felt at my heart.'

`Poor girl!' said Emma. `She thinks herself wrong, then, for having consented to a private engagement?'

`Wrong! No one, I believe, can blame her more than she is disposed to blame herself. ``The consequence,'' said she, ``has been a state of perpetual suffering to me; and so it ought. But after all the punishment that misconduct can bring, it is still not less misconduct. Pain is no expiation39. I never can be blameless. I have been acting40 contrary to all my sense of right; and the fortunate turn that every thing has taken, and the kindness I am now receiving, is what my conscience tells me ought not to be.'' ``Do not imagine, madam,'' she continued, ``that I was taught wrong. Do not let any reflection fall on the principles or the care of the friends who brought me up. The error has been all my own; and I do assure you that, with all the excuse that present circumstances may appear to give, I shall yet dread making the story known to Colonel Campbell.'''

`Poor girl!' said Emma again. `She loves him then excessively, I suppose. It must have been from attachment only, that she could be led to form the engagement. Her affection must have overpowered her judgment41.'

`Yes, I have no doubt of her being extremely attached to him.'

`I am afraid,' returned Emma, sighing, `that I must often have contributed to make her unhappy.'

`On your side, my love, it was very innocently done. But she probably had something of that in her thoughts, when alluding42 to the misunderstandings which he had given us hints of before. One natural consequence of the evil she had involved herself in,' she said, `was that of making her unreasonable43. The consciousness of having done amiss, had exposed her to a thousand inquietudes, and made her captious44 and irritable45 to a degree that must have been - that had been - hard for him to bear. ``I did not make the allowances,'' said she, ``which I ought to have done, for his temper and spirits - his delightful46 spirits, and that gaiety, that playfulness of disposition47, which, under any other circumstances, would, I am sure, have been as constantly bewitching to me, as they were at first.'' She then began to speak of you, and of the great kindness you had shewn her during her illness; and with a blush which shewed me how it was all connected, desired me, whenever I had an opportunity, to thank you - I could not thank you too much - for every wish and every endeavour to do her good. She was sensible that you had never received any proper acknowledgment from herself.'

`If I did not know her to be happy now,' said Emma, seriously, `which, in spite of every little drawback from her scrupulous48 conscience, she must be, I could not bear these thanks; - for, oh! Mrs. Weston, if there were an account drawn up of the evil and the good I have done Miss Fairfax! - Well (checking herself, and trying to be more lively), this is all to be forgotten. You are very kind to bring me these interesting particulars. They shew her to the greatest advantage. I am sure she is very good - I hope she will be very happy. It is fit that the fortune should be on his side, for I think the merit will be all on hers.'

Such a conclusion could not pass unanswered by Mrs. Weston. She thought well of Frank in almost every respect; and, what was more, she loved him very much, and her defence was, therefore, earnest. She talked with a great deal of reason, and at least equal affection - but she had too much to urge for Emma's attention; it was soon gone to Brunswick Square or to Donwell; she forgot to attempt to listen; and when Mrs. Weston ended with, `We have not yet had the letter we are so anxious for, you know, but I hope it will soon come,' she was obliged to pause before she answered, and at last obliged to answer at random49, before she could at all recollect50 what letter it was which they were so anxious for.

`Are you well, my Emma?' was Mrs. Weston's parting question.

`Oh! perfectly. I am always well, you know. Be sure to give me intelligence of the letter as soon as possible.'

Mrs. Weston's communications furnished Emma with more food for unpleasant reflection, by increasing her esteem4 and compassion51, and her sense of past injustice52 towards Miss Fairfax. She bitterly regretted not having sought a closer acquaintance with her, and blushed for the envious53 feelings which had certainly been, in some measure, the cause. Had she followed Mr. Knightley's known wishes, in paying that attention to Miss Fairfax, which was every way her due; had she tried to know her better; had she done her part towards intimacy54; had she endeavoured to find a friend there instead of in Harriet Smith; she must, in all probability, have been spared from every pain which pressed on her now. - Birth, abilities, and education, had been equally marking one as an associate for her, to be received with gratitude; and the other - what was she? - Supposing even that they had never become intimate friends; that she had never been admitted into Miss Fairfax's confidence on this important matter - which was most probable - still, in knowing her as she ought, and as she might, she must have been preserved from the abominable55 suspicions of an improper56 attachment to Mr. Dixon, which she had not only so foolishly fashioned and harboured herself, but had so unpardonably imparted; an idea which she greatly feared had been made a subject of material distress to the delicacy57 of Jane's feelings, by the levity58 or carelessness of Frank Churchill's. Of all the sources of evil surrounding the former, since her coming to Highbury, she was persuaded that she must herself have been the worst. She must have been a perpetual enemy. They never could have been all three together, without her having stabbed Jane Fairfax's peace in a thousand instances; and on Box Hill, perhaps, it had been the agony of a mind that would bear no more.

The evening of this day was very long, and melancholy59, at Hartfield. The weather added what it could of gloom. A cold stormy rain set in, and nothing of July appeared but in the trees and shrubs60, which the wind was despoiling61, and the length of the day, which only made such cruel sights the longer visible.

The weather affected62 Mr. Woodhouse, and he could only be kept tolerably comfortable by almost ceaseless attention on his daughter's side, and by exertions63 which had never cost her half so much before. It reminded her of their first forlorn tete-a-tete, on the evening of Mrs. Weston's wedding-day; but Mr. Knightley had walked in then, soon after tea, and dissipated every melancholy fancy. Alas64! such delightful proofs of Hartfield's attraction, as those sort of visits conveyed, might shortly be over. The picture which she had then drawn of the privations of the approaching winter, had proved erroneous; no friends had deserted65 them, no pleasures had been lost. - But her present forebodings she feared would experience no similar contradiction. The prospect66 before her now, was threatening to a degree that could not be entirely67 dispelled68 - that might not be even partially69 brightened. If all took place that might take place among the circle of her friends, Hartfield must be comparatively deserted; and she left to cheer her father with the spirits only of ruined happiness.

The child to be born at Randalls must be a tie there even dearer than herself; and Mrs. Weston's heart and time would be occupied by it. They should lose her; and, probably, in great measure, her husband also. - Frank Churchill would return among them no more; and Miss Fairfax, it was reasonable to suppose, would soon cease to belong to Highbury. They would be married, and settled either at or near Enscombe. All that were good would be withdrawn70; and if to these losses, the loss of Donwell were to be added, what would remain of cheerful or of rational society within their reach? Mr. Knightley to be no longer coming there for his evening comfort! - No longer walking in at all hours, as if ever willing to change his own home for their's! - How was it to be endured? And if he were to be lost to them for Harriet's sake; if he were to be thought of hereafter, as finding in Harriet's society all that he wanted; if Harriet were to be the chosen, the first, the dearest, the friend, the wife to whom he looked for all the best blessings71 of existence; what could be increasing Emma's wretchedness but the reflection never far distant from her mind, that it had been all her own work?

When it came to such a pitch as this, she was not able to refrain from a start, or a heavy sigh, or even from walking about the room for a few seconds - and the only source whence any thing like consolation72 or composure could be drawn, was in the resolution of her own better conduct, and the hope that, however inferior in spirit and gaiety might be the following and every future winter of her life to the past, it would yet find her more rational, more acquainted with herself, and leave her less to regret when it were gone.

 

爱玛如今面临着失去幸福的危险,才终于意识到,她的幸福在多大程度上取决于奈特利先生把她摆在第一位,最关心她,也最疼爱她。本来,她对此深信不疑,觉得这是她理所应得的,因而心安理得地享受了这般幸福;现在,只是在害怕被人取而代之的情况下,才发现这对她说不出有多么重要。长久以来,她觉得奈特利先生一直把她摆在第一位。奈特利先生没有姊妹,就关系而言,只有伊莎贝拉可以和她相比,而她一向很清楚,奈特利先生对伊莎贝拉是多么喜爱、多么敬重。许多年以来,他一直把她爱玛摆在第一位,她真有些担当不起。她经常漫不经心、执拗任性,无视他的规劝,甚至有意与他作对,对他的优点有一半感觉不到,还要跟他争吵,就因为他不赞成她不切实际地过高估计自己——不过,由于亲戚和生性的关系,也是出于一片好心,他还是很喜欢她,从小就关心她,竭力促使她上进,巴望她不要有什么差失,别人根本没有这样的情意。尽管她有这样那样的缺点,她知道他仍然与她亲近,难道不可以说是很亲近吗?然而,就在她由此而产生一点希望的时候,她却不能尽情地沉迷在其中。哈丽特·史密斯也许认为自己并非不配得到奈特利先生那特有的、专一的、热烈的爱。而她爱玛却不能这样想。她不能自以为奈特利先生在盲目地爱着她。她最近就遇到一件事,说明他并没有偏爱她——见她那样对待贝茨小姐,他是多么震惊啊!在这件事上,他对她多么直言不讳,言词多么激烈呀!就她的过错而言,他的责备并不算太重——但是,如果他除了心地耿直、善意规劝之外,还夹有什么柔情的话,那就未免太重了。她并不指望他会对她怀有那种令她猜疑不定的情意,也没有什么理由抱有这样的指望。但是,她(时弱时强地)希望哈丽特是在自己欺骗自己,过高地估计了奈特利先生对她的情意。她必须怀有这样的希望,这是为了他——不管后果如何,她都无所谓,只要他一辈子不结婚。的确,只要能确保他一辈子不结婚,她就会心满意足。让他对他们父女来说还是过去的奈特利先生,对众人来说还是过去的奈特利先生,让当维尔和哈特菲尔德不要失去那充满友谊和信任的珍贵交往,那她就会平平静静地生活下去。事实上,她也不能结婚。她要是结了婚,就没法报答父亲的养育之恩,也没法对他尽孝心。说什么也不应该把她和她父亲分开。她不能结婚,即使奈特利先生向她求婚也不行。

她一心巴望哈丽特只是空欢喜一场,希望等到再次看见他们俩在一起时,至少能弄清楚这件事究竟有多大的可能性。从今以后,她要密切地观察他们。虽说她以前可怜巴巴地甚至误解了她所观察的人,但她却不知道自己在这件事上怎么会受了蒙蔽。她天天盼他回来,她的眼睛马上就会明亮起来——她只要思路对头了,立刻就会心叫眼亮。在此期间,她决计不跟哈丽特见面。这件事再谈下上,埘她ffJ俩没有好处,对事情本身也没有好处。她打定主意,只要还有犯疑的地方,她就决不信以为真,然而她没有根据可以打消哈丽特的信心。谈话只会惹人生气。因此,她给哈丽特特写了封信,以亲切而又坚决的口吻,请她暂儿不要到哈特菲尔德来,说她相信,有一个话题最好不要再推心置腹地谈下去,并且希望近日内两人不要再见面,除非有别人在场——她只是不想两人私下见面——这样她们就当做忘掉了昨天的谈话。哈丽特依从了,同意了,还很感激。

这件事刚安排好,就来了一位客人,把爱玛从过去二十四小时连睡觉走路都无法释怀的那件事上分了心——这就是韦斯顿太太,她去看望未来的儿媳妇,回家时顺路来到哈特菲尔德,一方面礼节性地看看爱玛,一方面也好散散心,把这么有趣的一场会晤详详细细地讲一讲。

韦斯顿先生陪太太去了贝茨太太家,在这次必不可免的探访中,极其客气地尽到了自己的一份心意。他们在贝茨太太的客厅里只尴尬地坐了一刻钟,本来没有多少话可对爱玛说,但是韦斯顿太太劝说费尔法克斯小姐跟她一起出去兜风,现在回来了,要说的话可就多得多了,可以高高兴兴地说一阵子了。

爱玛对这事还是有一点好奇,趁朋友述说的时候,倒是充分利用了这点好奇心。韦斯顿太太刚出门时,心里有些忐忑不安。她原先并不打算去,只想给费尔法克斯小姐写封信,等过一些时候,邱吉尔先生同意把婚约公开了,再去作这次礼节性的拜访,因为考虑到方方面面的因素,她这一去势必会传得沸沸扬扬。可是,韦斯顿先生却不以为然。他急于要向费尔法克斯小姐及其家人表示认可,认为去一趟不会引起别人的猜疑,即便有人猜疑,也没有什么大不了的。他说:“这一类事总要张扬出去。”爱玛笑了,觉得韦斯顿先生这么说很有道理。总而言之,他们去了——那位小姐显得极其窘迫,极为不安。她几乎一声不吭,每一个眼神、每一个举动,都流露出一副难为情的样子。老太太打心眼里感到满意,但是没有做声,她女儿则欣喜若狂——高兴得甚至都不像往常那样唠唠叨叨了,真是一个令人高兴,甚至令人感动的场面。她们两人的喜幸劲儿真令人可敬,襟怀那样坦荡无私,只想着简,想着别人,就是没想到自己,心里洋溢着种种亲切的情意。费尔法克斯小姐最近生过病,恰好为韦斯顿太太邀她出去兜风提供了借口。费尔法克斯小姐起初退退缩缩不想去,后来经不住韦斯顿太太竭力劝说,只好依从了。兜风的时候,韦斯顿太太温声细语地鼓励她,大大消除了她的局促不安,终于使她谈起了那个重大的话题。首先当然是表示歉意,说他们第一次来看她,她却沉闷不语,真是太没有礼貌了;接着便激动不已地表达了她对韦斯顿夫妇一贯的感激之情。倾诉了这些心意之后,两人谈了很多有关订婚的现状和未来。韦斯顿太太心想,她的游伴长期把苦衷埋在心里,这次跟她一交谈,一定感到如释重负,因而她对自己说的话,感到很满意。

“她隐瞒了好几个月,忍受了不少的痛苦,”韦斯顿太太继续说道,“从这点看来,她还是很坚强的。她有这样一句话:‘我不能说订婚后就没有过快乐的时候,但是我敢说,我一时一刻也没安宁过。’爱玛,她说这话的时候,嘴唇都在颤抖,我从心底里相信她说的是实情。”

“可怜的姑娘!”爱玛说。“这么说,她认为同意秘密订婚是做错了?”

“做错了!我想她总要责备自己,别人谁也没有那样责备她。‘结果,’她说,‘给我带来了没完没了的痛苦,这也是理所当然的。尽管错误带来了惩罚,可错误还是错误。痛苦并不能涤罪。我决不再是无可指摘的了。我的行为违背了我的是非观。虽说事情出现了转机,我现在受到了厚待,但我的良心告诉我,我是受之有愧的。太太,’她又说,‘你不要以为我从小被教坏了。千万别责怪抚养我长大成人的朋友管教不严,照顾不周。都是我自己的过失。跟你说实话,虽然目前的处境似乎给我提供了借口,但我还是不敢把这件事告诉坎贝尔上校。”’

“可怜的姑娘!”爱玛又一次说道。“我想她一定非常爱他,只有Hj于一片真情,才会订下这样的婚约。她的情感一定压倒了理智。”

“是的,我想她一定非常爱他。”

“很遗憾,”爱玛叹了口气说,“我一定经常惹她不高兴。”

“亲爱的,你那完全是无意的。不过,她提起弗兰克以前给我们造成的误会时,心里也许就有这样的想法。她说,她卷入这场不幸的一个自然后果,就是搞得自己不合情理。她知道自己做错了事,心里万分不安,性情变得很古怪,动不动就发脾气,他一定会觉得——其实就是觉得——很难忍受。‘我本该体谅他的脾气和心情,’她说,‘可我没那么做——他性情开朗,快快活活,爱开玩笑,要是换一个处境,我肯定会像一开始那样,始终为之着迷。’接着她就讲到了你,说她生病期间你对她关怀备至。她脸都红了,我一看就明白了是怎么回事。她要我一有机会就向你道谢——我怎么道谢都不会过分——感谢你为她操的心,为她尽的力。她心里明白,她自己从来没有好好地谢谢你。”

“我知道她现在很快活,”爱玛一本正经地说道,“尽管她良心上有点过意不去,她一定还是很快活,不然的话,我也领受不起这样的感谢。唉!韦斯顿太太,要是把我为费尔法克斯小姐做的好事和坏事算出一笔账来!算了,”她说到这儿顿了顿,想要装作快活些,“把这一切都忘了吧。多谢你告诉了我这些很有意思的情况,从中可以充分看出她的好处。我认为她的确很好——希望她也很幸福。这两个人,男的是该有钱,因为我觉得美德都在女的一边。”

对于这样的结论,韦斯顿太太没法不辩驳了。在她看来,弗兰克几乎样样都好。再说她又很喜欢他,因此她要竭力为他辩护。她说得人情人理,至少情深意浓——可是因为话太多,爱玛难免不走神,不一会工夫,她就时而想到布伦斯威克广场,时而想到当维尔,忘了去听她的话。韦斯顿太太最后说:“你知道,我们还没收到那封左盼右盼的信,不过我想很快就会收到的。”爱玛一下子愣住了,后来不得已敷衍了两句,因为她压根儿想不起她们在盼什么信。

“你身体好吗,爱玛?”韦斯顿太太临别时问道。

“哦!很好。你知道,我一向很好。信来了一定要尽快告诉我。”

听了韦斯顿太太说的情况,爱玛越发敬重和同情费尔法克斯小姐,越发感到以前对不起她,因而心里越想越难过。她悔不该没跟她再亲近一些,为自己的嫉妒心理感到脸红,正是这嫉妒心理,在一定程度上妨碍了她们的亲近。想当初,她要是听了奈特利先生的话,注意关心费尔法克斯小姐(不管从哪方面看,这都是她应该做的);她要是设法去进一步了解她,尽量去亲近她,力求跟她做朋友,而不是跟哈丽特·史密斯做朋友,那八成就不会有现在这些烦恼。就出身、天分和教养来看,两人中有一个可以做她的朋友,本该是她求之不得的,而那另一个呢——她是什么人呢?就算她们俩没有成为亲密的朋友,就算费尔法克斯小姐在这个重大问题上没向她推心置腹——这是很可能的——然而,就凭她对费尔法克斯小姐应有的了解,她也不该胡乱猜疑她与迪克逊先生关系暧昧。她不仅极其荒唐地胡乱猜疑,而且还要讲给别人听,这就越发不可原谅。她很担心,由于弗兰克·邱吉尔的轻率或粗心,这一想法给简的脆弱感情带来了很大的痛苦。她觉得,简自从来到海伯里以后,给她造成痛苦的种种根源中,最糟糕的一定是她爱玛了。她简直成了她的老冤家。每次他们三个人在一起,她总要无数次地刺伤简的心。而在博克斯山,她那颗心也许痛苦到了极点,再也无法忍受了。

哈特菲尔德的这天黄昏又漫长又阴沉,平添了几分阴郁的气氛。骤然袭来一场阴冷的暴风雨,除了树林和灌木丛中的绿叶受到狂风的摧残,白昼延长可以让人多瞧一瞧这凄凉的景象以外,已经丝毫看不到七月的景致。

伍德豪斯先生受天气影响,他女儿几乎在一刻不停地关照他,付出了比平常多得多的努力,才使他觉得还算好受些。这时候,爱玛不由得想起了韦斯顿太太结婚的那天晚上,他们父女俩第一次孤苦伶仃在一起的情景。不过,那次吃过茶点后不久,奈特利先生就走了进来,驱散了一切的忧思。唉!类似这样的探访说明哈特菲尔德还是个令人喜欢的地方,但是也许好景不长了。当时,她为即将到来的冬天描绘出一幅凄凄凉凉的景象,可结果证明她错了。他们既没失去哪个朋友,也没失去任何欢乐。可是她在担心,这一次不祥的预感不会出现适得其反的结果。她眼下面临的前景就有点预兆不祥,不可能被完全消除——甚至不可能出现几分光明。如果她的朋友中间能发生的事都发生了的话,那哈特菲尔德一定会变得冷冷清清,她只能怀着幸福已经破灭的心情,来逗父亲高兴。

兰多尔斯的孩子出世以后,那关系肯定要比她爱玛来得还亲,韦斯顿太太的心思和时间势必要全部花在那孩子身上。他们会失去韦斯顿太太,说不定在很大程度上还会失去她丈夫。弗兰克·邱吉尔不会再来了,而且还可以设想,费尔法克斯小姐马上也不再是海伯里的人了。他们将会结婚,在恩斯库姆或附近什么地方定居下来。一切美好的东西都将化为乌有,若是在这些损失之外,再失去当维尔,那他们还能到哪里找到快乐而理智的朋友呢?奈特利先生再也不会来他们家消磨夜晚的时光了!再也不会随时走进来,好像甘愿把他们家当作他自己的家似的!这叫人怎么受得了啊?如果他真为哈丽特而抛开了他们,如果今后真觉得他有了哈丽特就有了一切,如果哈丽特真成了他最中意、最可亲的人,成了他的朋友和妻子,成了他终身幸福的归属,那她爱玛始终不会忘记这都是她自作自受的结果,还有什么比这更让她伤心的呢?

想到这里,她不由得为之一惊,长叹了一声,甚至在屋里踱了几步——唯一能使她感到宽慰和平静的是,她下定决心好自为之,并且希望,不管今年还是以后哪个冬天,她要是情绪比以前来得低落,没有什么欢乐可言,她能变得理智一些,有点自知之明,少做令她后悔的事。


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 dread Ekpz8     
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧
参考例句:
  • We all dread to think what will happen if the company closes.我们都不敢去想一旦公司关门我们该怎么办。
  • Her heart was relieved of its blankest dread.她极度恐惧的心理消除了。
2 supplanted 1f49b5af2ffca79ca495527c840dffca     
把…排挤掉,取代( supplant的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • In most offices, the typewriter has now been supplanted by the computer. 当今许多办公室里,打字机已被电脑取代。
  • The prime minister was supplanted by his rival. 首相被他的政敌赶下台了。
3 esteemed ftyzcF     
adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 );敬重;认为;以为
参考例句:
  • The art of conversation is highly esteemed in France. 在法国十分尊重谈话技巧。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He esteemed that he understood what I had said. 他认为已经听懂我说的意思了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
4 esteem imhyZ     
n.尊敬,尊重;vt.尊重,敬重;把…看作
参考例句:
  • I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
  • The veteran worker ranks high in public love and esteem.那位老工人深受大伙的爱戴。
5 negligent hjdyJ     
adj.疏忽的;玩忽的;粗心大意的
参考例句:
  • The committee heard that he had been negligent in his duty.委员会听说他玩忽职守。
  • If the government is proved negligent,compensation will be payable.如果证明是政府的疏忽,就应支付赔偿。
6 perverse 53mzI     
adj.刚愎的;坚持错误的,行为反常的
参考例句:
  • It would be perverse to stop this healthy trend.阻止这种健康发展的趋势是没有道理的。
  • She gets a perverse satisfaction from making other people embarrassed.她有一种不正常的心态,以使别人难堪来取乐。
7 wilfully dc475b177a1ec0b8bb110b1cc04cad7f     
adv.任性固执地;蓄意地
参考例句:
  • Don't wilfully cling to your reckless course. 不要一意孤行。 来自辞典例句
  • These missionaries even wilfully extended the extraterritoriality to Chinese converts and interfered in Chinese judicial authority. 这些传教士还肆意将"治外法权"延伸至中国信徒,干涉司法。 来自汉英非文学 - 白皮书
8 fully Gfuzd     
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地
参考例句:
  • The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气,然后全部呼出。
  • They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
9 insolent AbGzJ     
adj.傲慢的,无理的
参考例句:
  • His insolent manner really got my blood up.他那傲慢的态度把我的肺都气炸了。
  • It was insolent of them to demand special treatment.他们要求给予特殊待遇,脸皮真厚。
10 attachment POpy1     
n.附属物,附件;依恋;依附
参考例句:
  • She has a great attachment to her sister.她十分依恋她的姐姐。
  • She's on attachment to the Ministry of Defense.她现在隶属于国防部。
11 excellence ZnhxM     
n.优秀,杰出,(pl.)优点,美德
参考例句:
  • His art has reached a high degree of excellence.他的艺术已达到炉火纯青的地步。
  • My performance is far below excellence.我的表演离优秀还差得远呢。
12 passionately YmDzQ4     
ad.热烈地,激烈地
参考例句:
  • She could hate as passionately as she could love. 她能恨得咬牙切齿,也能爱得一往情深。
  • He was passionately addicted to pop music. 他酷爱流行音乐。
13 impartiality 5b49bb7ab0b3222fd7bf263721e2169d     
n. 公平, 无私, 不偏
参考例句:
  • He shows impartiality and detachment. 他表现得不偏不倚,超然事外。
  • Impartiality is essential to a judge. 公平是当法官所必需的。
14 goodwill 4fuxm     
n.善意,亲善,信誉,声誉
参考例句:
  • His heart is full of goodwill to all men.他心里对所有人都充满着爱心。
  • We paid £10,000 for the shop,and £2000 for its goodwill.我们用一万英镑买下了这家商店,两千英镑买下了它的信誉。
15 perfectly 8Mzxb     
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
  • Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。
16 intercourse NbMzU     
n.性交;交流,交往,交际
参考例句:
  • The magazine becomes a cultural medium of intercourse between the two peoples.该杂志成为两民族间文化交流的媒介。
  • There was close intercourse between them.他们过往很密。
17 incompatible y8oxu     
adj.不相容的,不协调的,不相配的
参考例句:
  • His plan is incompatible with my intent.他的计划与我的意图不相符。
  • Speed and safety are not necessarily incompatible.速度和安全未必不相容。
18 ardent yvjzd     
adj.热情的,热烈的,强烈的,烈性的
参考例句:
  • He's an ardent supporter of the local football team.他是本地足球队的热情支持者。
  • Ardent expectations were held by his parents for his college career.他父母对他的大学学习抱着殷切的期望。
19 ascertain WNVyN     
vt.发现,确定,查明,弄清
参考例句:
  • It's difficult to ascertain the coal deposits.煤储量很难探明。
  • We must ascertain the responsibility in light of different situtations.我们必须根据不同情况判定责任。
20 kindly tpUzhQ     
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地
参考例句:
  • Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
  • A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。
21 confidential MOKzA     
adj.秘(机)密的,表示信任的,担任机密工作的
参考例句:
  • He refused to allow his secretary to handle confidential letters.他不让秘书处理机密文件。
  • We have a confidential exchange of views.我们推心置腹地交换意见。
22 engrossed 3t0zmb     
adj.全神贯注的
参考例句:
  • The student is engrossed in his book.这名学生正在专心致志地看书。
  • No one had ever been quite so engrossed in an evening paper.没人会对一份晚报如此全神贯注。
23 encumbrance A8YyP     
n.妨碍物,累赘
参考例句:
  • Only by overcoming our weaknesses can we advance without any encumbrance;only by uniting ourselves in our struggle can we be invincible.克服缺点才能轻装前进,团结战斗才能无往不胜。
  • Now I should be an encumbrance.现在我成为累赘了。
24 agitation TN0zi     
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动
参考例句:
  • Small shopkeepers carried on a long agitation against the big department stores.小店主们长期以来一直在煽动人们反对大型百货商店。
  • These materials require constant agitation to keep them in suspension.这些药剂要经常搅动以保持悬浮状态。
25 defer KnYzZ     
vt.推迟,拖延;vi.(to)遵从,听从,服从
参考例句:
  • We wish to defer our decision until next week.我们希望推迟到下星期再作出决定。
  • We will defer to whatever the committee decides.我们遵从委员会作出的任何决定。
26 approbation INMyt     
n.称赞;认可
参考例句:
  • He tasted the wine of audience approbation.他尝到了像酒般令人陶醉的听众赞许滋味。
  • The result has not met universal approbation.该结果尚未获得普遍认同。
27 distress 3llzX     
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛
参考例句:
  • Nothing could alleviate his distress.什么都不能减轻他的痛苦。
  • Please don't distress yourself.请你不要忧愁了。
28 joyous d3sxB     
adj.充满快乐的;令人高兴的
参考例句:
  • The lively dance heightened the joyous atmosphere of the scene.轻快的舞蹈给这场戏渲染了欢乐气氛。
  • They conveyed the joyous news to us soon.他们把这一佳音很快地传递给我们。
29 disinterested vu4z6s     
adj.不关心的,不感兴趣的
参考例句:
  • He is impartial and disinterested.他公正无私。
  • He's always on the make,I have never known him do a disinterested action.他这个人一贯都是唯利是图,我从来不知道他有什么无私的行动。
30 drawn MuXzIi     
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的
参考例句:
  • All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
  • Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。
31 embarrassment fj9z8     
n.尴尬;使人为难的人(事物);障碍;窘迫
参考例句:
  • She could have died away with embarrassment.她窘迫得要死。
  • Coughing at a concert can be a real embarrassment.在音乐会上咳嗽真会使人难堪。
32 converse 7ZwyI     
vi.谈话,谈天,闲聊;adv.相反的,相反
参考例句:
  • He can converse in three languages.他可以用3种语言谈话。
  • I wanted to appear friendly and approachable but I think I gave the converse impression.我想显得友好、平易近人些,却发觉给人的印象恰恰相反。
33 gratitude p6wyS     
adj.感激,感谢
参考例句:
  • I have expressed the depth of my gratitude to him.我向他表示了深切的谢意。
  • She could not help her tears of gratitude rolling down her face.她感激的泪珠禁不住沿着面颊流了下来。
34 misery G10yi     
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦
参考例句:
  • Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
  • He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。
35 concealment AvYzx1     
n.隐藏, 掩盖,隐瞒
参考例句:
  • the concealment of crime 对罪行的隐瞒
  • Stay in concealment until the danger has passed. 把自己藏起来,待危险过去后再出来。
36 blessing UxDztJ     
n.祈神赐福;祷告;祝福,祝愿
参考例句:
  • The blessing was said in Hebrew.祷告用了希伯来语。
  • A double blessing has descended upon the house.双喜临门。
37 tranquil UJGz0     
adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的
参考例句:
  • The boy disturbed the tranquil surface of the pond with a stick. 那男孩用棍子打破了平静的池面。
  • The tranquil beauty of the village scenery is unique. 这乡村景色的宁静是绝无仅有的。
38 attestation fa087a97a79ce46bbb6243d8c4d26459     
n.证词
参考例句:
  • According to clew, until pay treasure attestation the success. 按照提示,直到支付宝认证成功。 来自互联网
  • Hongkong commercial college subdecanal. Specialty division of international attestation. 香港商学院副院长,国际认证专业培训师。 来自互联网
39 expiation a80c49513e840be0ae3a8e585f1f2d7e     
n.赎罪,补偿
参考例句:
  • 'served him right,'said Drouet afterward, even in view of her keen expiation of her error. “那是他活该,"这一场结束时杜洛埃说,尽管那个妻子已竭力要赎前愆。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
  • Jesus made expiation for our sins on the cross. 耶稣在十字架上为我们赎了罪。 来自互联网
40 acting czRzoc     
n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的
参考例句:
  • Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她,她只是假装的。
  • During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代,她的表演生涯黯然失色。
41 judgment e3xxC     
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见
参考例句:
  • The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
  • He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。
42 alluding ac37fbbc50fb32efa49891d205aa5a0a     
提及,暗指( allude的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • He didn't mention your name but I was sure he was alluding to you. 他没提你的名字,但是我确信他是暗指你的。
  • But in fact I was alluding to my physical deficiencies. 可我实在是为自己的容貌寒心。
43 unreasonable tjLwm     
adj.不讲道理的,不合情理的,过度的
参考例句:
  • I know that they made the most unreasonable demands on you.我知道他们对你提出了最不合理的要求。
  • They spend an unreasonable amount of money on clothes.他们花在衣服上的钱太多了。
44 captious wTjy2     
adj.难讨好的,吹毛求疵的
参考例句:
  • There is no captious client but faulty product and service.没有挑剔的客户,只有不完善的产品和服务。
  • His criticisms were always captious and frivolous,never offering constructive suggestions.他的评论一向轻率并爱吹毛求疵,从不提出有建设性的建议。
45 irritable LRuzn     
adj.急躁的;过敏的;易怒的
参考例句:
  • He gets irritable when he's got toothache.他牙一疼就很容易发脾气。
  • Our teacher is an irritable old lady.She gets angry easily.我们的老师是位脾气急躁的老太太。她很容易生气。
46 delightful 6xzxT     
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的
参考例句:
  • We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我们在海滨玩得真痛快。
  • Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支欢快的曲子。
47 disposition GljzO     
n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署
参考例句:
  • He has made a good disposition of his property.他已对财产作了妥善处理。
  • He has a cheerful disposition.他性情开朗。
48 scrupulous 6sayH     
adj.审慎的,小心翼翼的,完全的,纯粹的
参考例句:
  • She is scrupulous to a degree.她非常谨慎。
  • Poets are not so scrupulous as you are.诗人并不像你那样顾虑多。
49 random HT9xd     
adj.随机的;任意的;n.偶然的(或随便的)行动
参考例句:
  • The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
  • On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查,发现肉变质了。
50 recollect eUOxl     
v.回忆,想起,记起,忆起,记得
参考例句:
  • He tried to recollect things and drown himself in them.他极力回想过去的事情而沉浸于回忆之中。
  • She could not recollect being there.她回想不起曾经到过那儿。
51 compassion 3q2zZ     
n.同情,怜悯
参考例句:
  • He could not help having compassion for the poor creature.他情不自禁地怜悯起那个可怜的人来。
  • Her heart was filled with compassion for the motherless children.她对于没有母亲的孩子们充满了怜悯心。
52 injustice O45yL     
n.非正义,不公正,不公平,侵犯(别人的)权利
参考例句:
  • They complained of injustice in the way they had been treated.他们抱怨受到不公平的对待。
  • All his life he has been struggling against injustice.他一生都在与不公正现象作斗争。
53 envious n8SyX     
adj.嫉妒的,羡慕的
参考例句:
  • I don't think I'm envious of your success.我想我并不嫉妒你的成功。
  • She is envious of Jane's good looks and covetous of her car.她既忌妒简的美貌又垂涎她的汽车。
54 intimacy z4Vxx     
n.熟悉,亲密,密切关系,亲昵的言行
参考例句:
  • His claims to an intimacy with the President are somewhat exaggerated.他声称自己与总统关系密切,这有点言过其实。
  • I wish there were a rule book for intimacy.我希望能有个关于亲密的规则。
55 abominable PN5zs     
adj.可厌的,令人憎恶的
参考例句:
  • Their cruel treatment of prisoners was abominable.他们虐待犯人的做法令人厌恶。
  • The sanitary conditions in this restaurant are abominable.这家饭馆的卫生状况糟透了。
56 improper b9txi     
adj.不适当的,不合适的,不正确的,不合礼仪的
参考例句:
  • Short trousers are improper at a dance.舞会上穿短裤不成体统。
  • Laughing and joking are improper at a funeral.葬礼时大笑和开玩笑是不合适的。
57 delicacy mxuxS     
n.精致,细微,微妙,精良;美味,佳肴
参考例句:
  • We admired the delicacy of the craftsmanship.我们佩服工艺师精巧的手艺。
  • He sensed the delicacy of the situation.他感觉到了形势的微妙。
58 levity Q1uxA     
n.轻率,轻浮,不稳定,多变
参考例句:
  • His remarks injected a note of levity into the proceedings.他的话将一丝轻率带入了议事过程中。
  • At the time,Arnold had disapproved of such levity.那时候的阿诺德对这种轻浮行为很看不惯。
59 melancholy t7rz8     
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的
参考例句:
  • All at once he fell into a state of profound melancholy.他立即陷入无尽的忧思之中。
  • He felt melancholy after he failed the exam.这次考试没通过,他感到很郁闷。
60 shrubs b480276f8eea44e011d42320b17c3619     
灌木( shrub的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • The gardener spent a complete morning in trimming those two shrubs. 园丁花了整个上午的时间修剪那两处灌木林。
  • These shrubs will need more light to produce flowering shoots. 这些灌木需要更多的光照才能抽出开花的新枝。
61 despoiling 5ecaf7166d3e44e20774f8dd7b349812     
v.掠夺,抢劫( despoil的现在分词 )
参考例句:
62 affected TzUzg0     
adj.不自然的,假装的
参考例句:
  • She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
  • His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。
63 exertions 2d5ee45020125fc19527a78af5191726     
n.努力( exertion的名词复数 );费力;(能力、权力等的)运用;行使
参考例句:
  • As long as they lived, exertions would not be necessary to her. 只要他们活着,是不需要她吃苦的。 来自辞典例句
  • She failed to unlock the safe in spite of all her exertions. 她虽然费尽力气,仍未能将那保险箱的锁打开。 来自辞典例句
64 alas Rx8z1     
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等)
参考例句:
  • Alas!The window is broken!哎呀!窗子破了!
  • Alas,the truth is less romantic.然而,真理很少带有浪漫色彩。
65 deserted GukzoL     
adj.荒芜的,荒废的,无人的,被遗弃的
参考例句:
  • The deserted village was filled with a deathly silence.这个荒废的村庄死一般的寂静。
  • The enemy chieftain was opposed and deserted by his followers.敌人头目众叛亲离。
66 prospect P01zn     
n.前景,前途;景色,视野
参考例句:
  • This state of things holds out a cheerful prospect.事态呈现出可喜的前景。
  • The prospect became more evident.前景变得更加明朗了。
67 entirely entirely     
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
  • His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。
68 dispelled 7e96c70e1d822dbda8e7a89ae71a8e9a     
v.驱散,赶跑( dispel的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • His speech dispelled any fears about his health. 他的发言消除了人们对他身体健康的担心。
  • The sun soon dispelled the thick fog. 太阳很快驱散了浓雾。 来自《简明英汉词典》
69 partially yL7xm     
adv.部分地,从某些方面讲
参考例句:
  • The door was partially concealed by the drapes.门有一部分被门帘遮住了。
  • The police managed to restore calm and the curfew was partially lifted.警方设法恢复了平静,宵禁部分解除。
70 withdrawn eeczDJ     
vt.收回;使退出;vi.撤退,退出
参考例句:
  • Our force has been withdrawn from the danger area.我们的军队已从危险地区撤出。
  • All foreign troops should be withdrawn to their own countries.一切外国军队都应撤回本国去。
71 blessings 52a399b218b9208cade790a26255db6b     
n.(上帝的)祝福( blessing的名词复数 );好事;福分;因祸得福
参考例句:
  • Afflictions are sometimes blessings in disguise. 塞翁失马,焉知非福。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • We don't rely on blessings from Heaven. 我们不靠老天保佑。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
72 consolation WpbzC     
n.安慰,慰问
参考例句:
  • The children were a great consolation to me at that time.那时孩子们成了我的莫大安慰。
  • This news was of little consolation to us.这个消息对我们来说没有什么安慰。


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