3 Essex and Washington streets, Salem.
Noon by the north clock! Noon by the east! High noon, too, by these hot sunbeams, which full, scarcely aslope, upon my head and almost make the water bubble and smoke in the trough under my nose. Truly, we public characters have a tough time of it! And among all the town-officers chosen at March meeting, where is he that sustains for a single year the burden of such manifold duties as are imposed in perpetuity upon the town-pump? The title of “town-treasurer” is rightfully mine, as guardian1 of the best treasure that the town has. The overseers of the poor ought to make me their chairman, since I provide bountifully for the pauper2 without expense to him that pays taxes. I am at the head of the fire department and one of the physicians to the board of health. As a keeper of the peace all water-drinkers will confess me equal to the constable3. I perform some of the duties of the town-clerk by promulgating4 public notices when they are posted on my front. To speak within bounds, I am the chief person of the municipality, and exhibit, moreover, an admirable pattern to my brother-officers by the cool, steady, upright, downright and impartial5 discharge of my business and the constancy with which I stand to my post. Summer or winter, nobody seeks me in vain, for all day long I am seen at the busiest corner, just above the market, stretching out my arms to rich and poor alike, and at night I hold a lantern over my head both to show where I am and keep people out of the gutters6. At this sultry noontide I am cupbearer to the parched7 populace, for whose benefit an iron goblet8 is chained to my waist. Like a dramseller on the mall at muster-day, I cry aloud to all and sundry9 in my plainest accents and at the very tiptop of my voice.
Here it is, gentlemen! Here is the good liquor! Walk up, walk up, gentlemen! Walk up, walk up! Here is the superior stuff! Here is the unadulterated ale of Father Adam — better than Cognac, Hollands, Jamaica, strong beer or wine of any price; here it is by the hogshead or the single glass, and not a cent to pay! Walk up, gentlemen, walk up, and help yourselves!
It were a pity if all this outcry should draw no customers. Here they come. — A hot day, gentlemen! Quaff10 and away again, so as to keep yourselves in a nice cool sweat. — You, my friend, will need another cupful to wash the dust out of your throat, if it be as thick there as it is on your cowhide shoes. I see that you have trudged11 half a score of miles today, and like a wise man have passed by the taverns13 and stopped at the running brooks14 and well-curbs. Otherwise, betwixt heat without and fire within, you would have been burnt to a cinder15 or melted down to nothing at all, in the fashion of a jelly-fish. Drink and make room for that other fellow, who seeks my aid to quench16 the fiery17 fever of last night’s potations, which he drained from no cup of mine. — Welcome, most rubicund18 sir! You and I have been great strangers hitherto; nor, to confess the truth, will my nose be anxious for a closer intimacy19 till the fumes20 of your breath be a little less potent21. Mercy on you, man! the water absolutely hisses22 down your red-hot gullet and is converted quite to steam in the miniature Tophet which you mistake for a stomach. Fill again, and tell me, on the word of an honest toper, did you ever, in cellar, tavern12, or any kind of a dram-shop, spend the price of your children’s food for a swig half so delicious? Now, for the first time these ten years, you know the flavor of cold water. Good-bye; and whenever you are thirsty, remember that I keep a constant supply at the old stand. — Who next? — Oh, my little friend, you are let loose from school and come hither to scrub your blooming face and drown the memory of certain taps of the ferule, and other schoolboy troubles, in a draught23 from the town-pump? Take it, pure as the current of your young life. Take it, and may your heart and tongue never be scorched24 with a fiercer thirst than now! There, my dear child! put down the cup and yield your place to this elderly gentleman who treads so tenderly over the paving-stones that I suspect he is afraid of breaking them. What! he limps by without so much as thanking me, as if my hospitable25 offers were meant only for people who have no wine-cellars. — Well, well, sir, no harm done, I hope? Go draw the cork26, tip the decanter; but when your great toe shall set you a-roaring, it will be no affair of mine. If gentlemen love the pleasant titillation27 of the gout, it is all one to the town-pump. This thirsty dog with his red tongue lolling out does not scorn my hospitality, but stands on his hind28 legs and laps eagerly out of the trough. See how lightly he capers29 away again! — Jowler, did your worship ever have the gout?
Are you all satisfied? Then wipe your mouths, my good friends, and while my spout30 has a moment’s leisure I will delight the town with a few historical remniscences. In far antiquity31, beneath a darksome shadow of venerable boughs32, a spring bubbled out of the leaf-strewn earth in the very spot where you now behold33 me on the sunny pavement. The water was as bright and clear and deemed as precious as liquid diamonds. The Indian sagamores drank of it from time immemorial till the fatal deluge34 of the firewater burst upon the red men and swept their whole race away from the cold fountains. Endicott and his followers35 came next, and often knelt down to drink, dipping their long beards in the spring. The richest goblet then was of birch-bark. Governor Winthrop, after a journey afoot from Boston, drank here out of the hollow of his hand. The elder Higginson here wet his palm and laid it on the brow of the first town-born child. For many years it was the watering-place, and, as it were, the washbowl, of the vicinity, whither all decent folks resorted to purify their visages and gaze at them afterward36 — at least, the pretty maidens37 did — in the mirror which it made. On Sabbath-days, whenever a babe was to be baptized, the sexton filled his basin here and placed it on the communion-table of the humble38 meeting-house, which partly covered the site of yonder stately brick one. Thus one generation after another was consecrated39 to Heaven by its waters, and cast their waxing and waning40 shadows into its glassy bosom41, and vanished from the earth, as if mortal life were but a flitting image in a fountain. Finally the fountain vanished also. Cellars were dug on all sides and cart-loads of gravel42 flung upon its source, whence oozed43 a turbid44 stream, forming a mud-puddle at the corner of two streets. In the hot months, when its refreshment45 was most needed, the dust flew in clouds over the forgotten birthplace of the waters, now their grave. But in the course of time a town-pump was sunk into the source of the ancient spring; and when the first decayed, another took its place, and then another, and still another, till here stand I, gentlemen and ladies, to serve you with my iron goblet. Drink and be refreshed. The water is as pure and cold as that which slaked46 the thirst of the red sagamore beneath the aged47 boughs, though now the gem48 of the wilderness49 is treasured under these hot stones, where no shadow falls but from the brick buildings. And be it the moral of my story that, as this wasted and long-lost fountain is now known and prized again, so shall the virtues50 of cold water — too little valued since your fathers’ days — be recognized by all.
Your pardon, good people! I must interrupt my stream of eloquence51 and spout forth52 a stream of water to replenish53 the trough for this teamster and his two yoke54 of oxen, who have come from Topsfield, or somewhere along that way. No part of my business is pleasanter than the watering of cattle. Look! how rapidly they lower the water-mark on the sides of the trough, till their capacious stomachs are moistened with a gallon or two apiece and they can afford time to breathe it in with sighs of calm enjoyment55. Now they roll their quiet eyes around the brim of their monstrous56 drinking-vessel57. An ox is your true toper.
But I perceive, my dear auditors58, that you are impatient for the remainder of my discourse59. Impute60 it, I beseech61 you, to no defect of modesty62 if I insist a little longer on so fruitful a topic as my own multifarious merits. It is altogether for your good. The better you think of me, the better men and women you will find yourselves. I shall say nothing of my all-important aid on washing-days, though on that account alone I might call myself the household god of a hundred families. Far be it from me, also, to hint, my respectable friends, at the show of dirty faces which you would present without my pains to keep you clean. Nor will I remind you how often, when the midnight bells make you tremble for your combustible63 town, you have fled to the town-pump and found me always at my post firm amid the confusion and ready to drain my vital current in your behalf. Neither is it worth while to lay much stress on my claims to a medical diploma as the physician whose simple rule of practice is preferable to all the nauseous lore64 which has found men sick, or left them so, since the days of Hippocrates. Let us take a broader view of my beneficial influence on mankind.
No; these are trifles, compared with the merits which wise men concede to me — if not in my single self, yet as the representative of a class — of being the grand reformer of the age. From my spout, and such spouts65 as mine, must flow the stream that shall cleanse66 our earth of the vast portion of its crime and anguish67 which has gushed68 from the fiery fountains of the still. In this mighty69 enterprise the cow shall be my great confederate. Milk and water — the TOWN-PUMP and the Cow! Such is the glorious copartnership that shall tear down the distilleries and brewhouses, uproot70 the vineyards, shatter the cider-presses, ruin the tea and coffee trade, and finally monopolize71 the whole business of quenching72 thirst. Blessed consummation! Then Poverty shall pass away from the land, finding no hovel so wretched where her squalid form may shelter herself. Then Disease, for lack of other victims, shall gnaw73 its own heart and die. Then Sin, if she do not die, shall lose half her strength. Until now the frenzy74 of hereditary75 fever has raged in the human blood, transmitted from sire to son and rekindled76 in every generation by fresh draughts77 of liquid flame. When that inward fire shall be extinguished, the heat of passion cannot but grow cool, and war — the drunkenness of nations — perhaps will cease. At least, there will be no war of households. The husband and wife, drinking deep of peaceful joy — a calm bliss78 of temperate79 affections — shall pass hand in hand through life and lie down not reluctantly at its protracted80 close. To them the past will be no turmoil81 of mad dreams, nor the future an eternity82 of such moments as follow the delirium83 of the drunkard. Their dead faces shall express what their spirits were and are to be by a lingering smile of memory and hope.
Ahem! Dry work, this speechifying, especially to an unpractised orator84. I never conceived till now what toil85 the temperance lecturers undergo for my sake; hereafter they shall have the business to themselves. — Do, some kind Christian86, pump a stroke or two, just to wet my whistle. — Thank you, sir! — My dear hearers, when the world shall have been regenerated87 by my instrumentality, you will collect your useless vats88 and liquor-casks into one great pile and make a bonfire in honor of the town-pump. And when I shall have decayed like my predecessors89, then, if you revere90 my memory, let a marble fountain richly sculptured take my place upon this spot. Such monuments should be erected91 everywhere and inscribed92 with the names of the distinguished93 champions of my cause. Now, listen, for something very important is to come next.
There are two or three honest friends of mine — and true friends I know they are — who nevertheless by their fiery pugnacity94 in my behalf do put me in fearful hazard of a broken nose, or even a total overthrow95 upon the pavement and the loss of the treasure which I guard. — I pray you, gentlemen, let this fault be amended96. Is it decent, think you, to get tipsy with zeal97 for temperance and take up the honorable cause of the town-pump in the style of a toper fighting for his brandy-bottle? Or can the excellent qualities of cold water be no otherwise exemplified than by plunging98 slapdash into hot water and woefully scalding yourselves and other people? Trust me, they may. In the moral warfare99 which you are to wage — and, indeed, in the whole conduct of your lives — you cannot choose a better example than myself, who have never permitted the dust and sultry atmosphere, the turbulence100 and manifold disquietudes, of the world around me to reach that deep, calm well of purity which may be called my soul. And whenever I pour out that soul, it is to cool earth’s fever or cleanse its stains.
One o’clock! Nay101, then, if the dinner-bell begins to speak, I may as well hold my peace. Here comes a pretty young girl of my acquaintance with a large stone pitcher102 for me to fill. May she draw a husband while drawing her water, as Rachel did of old! — Hold out your vessel, my dear! There it is, full to the brim; so now run home, peeping at your sweet image in the pitcher as you go, and forget not in a glass of my own liquor to drink “SUCCESS TO THE TOWN-PUMP.”
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1
guardian
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| n.监护人；守卫者，保护者 | |
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pauper
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| n.贫民，被救济者，穷人 | |
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constable
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| n.(英国)警察，警官 | |
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promulgating
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| v.宣扬（某事物）( promulgate的现在分词 )；传播；公布；颁布（法令、新法律等） | |
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impartial
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| adj.(in,to)公正的，无偏见的 | |
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gutters
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| （路边）排水沟( gutter的名词复数 )； 阴沟； （屋顶的）天沟； 贫贱的境地 | |
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7
parched
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| adj.焦干的；极渴的；v.（使）焦干 | |
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goblet
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| n.高脚酒杯 | |
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sundry
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| adj.各式各样的，种种的 | |
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10
quaff
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| v.一饮而尽；痛饮 | |
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trudged
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| vt.& vi.跋涉，吃力地走（trudge的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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12
tavern
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| n.小旅馆，客栈；小酒店 | |
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taverns
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| n.小旅馆，客栈，酒馆( tavern的名词复数 ) | |
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brooks
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| n.小溪( brook的名词复数 ) | |
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cinder
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| n.余烬，矿渣 | |
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quench
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| vt.熄灭，扑灭；压制 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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rubicund
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| adj.(脸色)红润的 | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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fumes
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| n.(强烈而刺激的)气味，气体 | |
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potent
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| adj.强有力的，有权势的；有效力的 | |
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hisses
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| 嘶嘶声( hiss的名词复数 ) | |
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draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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scorched
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| 烧焦，烤焦( scorch的过去式和过去分词 )； 使（植物）枯萎，把…晒枯； 高速行驶； 枯焦 | |
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hospitable
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| adj.好客的；宽容的；有利的，适宜的 | |
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cork
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| n.软木，软木塞 | |
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titillation
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| n.搔痒，愉快；搔痒感 | |
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hind
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| adj.后面的，后部的 | |
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capers
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| n.开玩笑( caper的名词复数 )；刺山柑v.跳跃，雀跃( caper的第三人称单数 ) | |
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spout
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| v.喷出，涌出；滔滔不绝地讲；n.喷管；水柱 | |
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antiquity
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| n.古老；高龄；古物，古迹 | |
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boughs
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| 大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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deluge
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| n./vt.洪水，暴雨，使泛滥 | |
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followers
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| 追随者( follower的名词复数 )； 用户； 契据的附面； 从动件 | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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maidens
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| 处女( maiden的名词复数 )； 少女； 未婚女子； （板球运动）未得分的一轮投球 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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consecrated
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| adj.神圣的，被视为神圣的v.把…奉为神圣，给…祝圣( consecrate的过去式和过去分词 )；奉献 | |
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waning
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| adj.（月亮）渐亏的，逐渐减弱或变小的n.月亏v.衰落( wane的现在分词 )；（月）亏；变小；变暗淡 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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gravel
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| n.砂跞；砂砾层；结石 | |
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43
oozed
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| v.（浓液等）慢慢地冒出，渗出( ooze的过去式和过去分词 )；使（液体）缓缓流出；（浓液）渗出，慢慢流出 | |
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44
turbid
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| adj.混浊的，泥水的，浓的 | |
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refreshment
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| n.恢复，精神爽快，提神之事物；（复数）refreshments:点心，茶点 | |
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slaked
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| v.满足( slake的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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48
gem
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| n.宝石，珠宝；受爱戴的人 [同]jewel | |
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wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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50
virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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51
eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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52
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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53
replenish
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| vt.补充；(把…)装满；(再)填满 | |
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54
yoke
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| n.轭；支配；v.给...上轭，连接，使成配偶 | |
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55
enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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56
monstrous
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| adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的 | |
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57
vessel
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| n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管 | |
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58
auditors
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| n.审计员，稽核员( auditor的名词复数 )；（大学课程的）旁听生 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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impute
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| v.归咎于 | |
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beseech
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| v.祈求，恳求 | |
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modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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combustible
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| a. 易燃的,可燃的; n. 易燃物,可燃物 | |
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lore
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| n.传说；学问，经验，知识 | |
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65
spouts
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| n.管口( spout的名词复数 )；（喷出的）水柱；（容器的）嘴；在困难中v.（指液体）喷出( spout的第三人称单数 )；滔滔不绝地讲；喋喋不休地说；喷水 | |
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66
cleanse
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| vt.使清洁，使纯洁，清洗 | |
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67
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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68
gushed
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| v.喷，涌( gush的过去式和过去分词 )；滔滔不绝地说话 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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70
uproot
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| v.连根拔起，拔除；根除，灭绝；赶出家园，被迫移开 | |
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71
monopolize
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| v.垄断，独占，专营 | |
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72
quenching
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| 淬火，熄 | |
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73
gnaw
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| v.不断地啃、咬；使苦恼，折磨 | |
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frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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hereditary
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| adj.遗传的，遗传性的，可继承的，世袭的 | |
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rekindled
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| v.使再燃( rekindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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77
draughts
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| n. <英>国际跳棋 | |
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78
bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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temperate
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| adj.温和的，温带的，自我克制的，不过分的 | |
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protracted
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| adj.拖延的；延长的v.拖延“protract”的过去式和过去分词 | |
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81
turmoil
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| n.骚乱，混乱，动乱 | |
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82
eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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delirium
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| n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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orator
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| n.演说者，演讲者，雄辩家 | |
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85
toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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regenerated
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| v.新生，再生( regenerate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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vats
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| varieties 变化，多样性，种类 | |
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predecessors
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| n.前任( predecessor的名词复数 )；前辈；（被取代的）原有事物；前身 | |
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revere
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| vt.尊崇，崇敬，敬畏 | |
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91
ERECTED
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| adj. 直立的，竖立的，笔直的 vt. 使 ... 直立，建立 | |
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inscribed
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| v.写，刻( inscribe的过去式和过去分词 )；内接 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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pugnacity
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| n.好斗，好战 | |
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overthrow
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| v.推翻，打倒，颠覆；n.推翻，瓦解，颠覆 | |
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Amended
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| adj. 修正的 动词amend的过去式和过去分词 | |
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zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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98
plunging
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| adj.跳进的，突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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warfare
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| n.战争(状态)；斗争；冲突 | |
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100
turbulence
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| n.喧嚣，狂暴，骚乱，湍流 | |
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101
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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102
pitcher
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| n.(有嘴和柄的)大水罐；(棒球)投手 | |
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