I was walking one mild afternoon on a quiet boulevard, wandering slowly on, enjoying the benign5 April sun, and some thoughts not unpleasing, when I saw before me a group of riders, stopping as if they had just encountered, and exchanging greetings in the midst of the broad, smooth, linden-bordered path; on one side a middle-aged6 gentleman and young lady, on the other — a young and handsome man. Very graceful7 was the lady’s mien8, choice her appointments, delicate and stately her whole aspect. Still, as I looked, I felt they were known to me, and, drawing a little nearer, I fully9 recognised them all: the Count Home de Bassompierre, his daughter, and Dr. Graham Bretton.
How animated10 was Graham’s face! How true, how warm, yet how retiring the joy it expressed! This was the state of things, this the combination of circumstances, at once to attract and enchain, to subdue11 and excite Dr. John. The pearl he admired was in itself of great price and truest purity, but he was not the man who, in appreciating the gem12, could forget its setting. Had he seen Paulina with the same youth, beauty, and grace, but on foot, alone, unguarded, and in simple attire13, a dependent worker, a demi-grisette, he would have thought her a pretty little creature, and would have loved with his eye her movements and her mien, but it required other than this to conquer him as he was now vanquished14, to bring him safe under dominion15 as now, without loss, and even with gain to his manly16 honour, one saw that he was reduced; there was about Dr. John all the man of the world; to satisfy himself did not suffice; society must approve — the world must admire what he did, or he counted his measures false and futile17. In his victrix he required all that was here visible — the imprint18 of high cultivation19, the consecration20 of a careful and authoritative21 protection, the adjuncts that Fashion decrees, Wealth purchases, and Taste adjusts; for these conditions his spirit stipulated22 ere it surrendered: they were here to the utmost fulfilled; and now, proud, impassioned, yet fearing, he did homage23 to Paulina as his sovereign. As for her, the smile of feeling, rather than of conscious power, slept soft in her eyes.
They parted. He passed me at speed, hardly feeling the earth he skimmed, and seeing nothing on either hand. He looked very handsome; mettle25 and purpose were roused in him fully.
“Papa, there is Lucy!” cried a musical, friendly voice. “Lucy, dear Lucy — do come here!”
I hastened to her. She threw back her veil, and stooped from her saddle to kiss me.
“I was coming to see you to-morrow,” said she; “but now to-morrow you will come and see me.”
She named the hour, and I promised compliance26.
The morrow’s evening found me with her — she and I shut into her own room. I had not seen her since that occasion when her claims were brought into comparison with those of Ginevra Fanshawe, and had so signally prevailed; she had much to tell me of her travels in the interval. A most animated, rapid speaker was she in such a tête-à-tête, a most lively describer; yet with her artless diction and clear soft voice, she never seemed to speak too fast or to say too much. My own attention I think would not soon have flagged, but by-and-by, she herself seemed to need some change of subject; she hastened to wind up her narrative27 briefly28. Yet why she terminated with so concise29 an abridgment30 did not immediately appear; silence followed — a restless silence, not without symptoms of abstraction. Then, turning to me, in a diffident, half-appealing voice —“Lucy —”
“Well, I am at your side.”
“Is my cousin Ginevra still at Madame Beck’s?”
“Your cousin is still there; you must be longing31 to see her.”
“No — not much.”
“You want to invite her to spend another evening?”
“No . . . I suppose she still talks about being married?”
“Not to any one you care for.”
“But of course she still thinks of Dr. Bretton? She cannot have changed her mind on that point, because it was so fixed32 two months ago.”
“Why, you know, it does not matter. You saw the terms on which they stood.”
“There was a little misunderstanding that evening, certainly; does she seem unhappy?”
“Not she. To change the subject. Have you heard or seen nothing of, or from. Graham during your absence?”
“Papa had letters from him once or twice about business, I think. He undertook the management of some affair which required attention while we were away. Dr. Bretton seems to respect papa, and to have pleasure in obliging him.”
“Yes: you met him yesterday on the boulevard; you would be able to judge from his aspect that his friends need not be painfully anxious about his health?”
“Papa seems to have thought with you. I could not help smiling. He is not particularly observant, you know, because he is often thinking of other things than what pass before his eyes; but he said, as Dr. Bretton rode away, ‘Really it does a man good to see the spirit and energy of that boy.’ He called Dr. Bretton a boy; I believe he almost thinks him so, just as he thinks me a little girl; he was not speaking to me, but dropped that remark to himself. Lucy. . . . ”
Again fell the appealing accent, and at the same instant she left her chair, and came and sat on the stool at my feet.
I liked her. It is not a declaration I have often made concerning my acquaintance, in the course of this book: the reader will bear with it for once. Intimate intercourse, close inspection33, disclosed in Paulina only what was delicate, intelligent, and sincere; therefore my regard for her lay deep. An admiration34 more superficial might have been more demonstrative; mine, however, was quiet.
“What have you to ask of Lucy?” said I; “be brave, and speak out”
But there was no courage in her eye; as it met mine, it fell; and there was no coolness on her cheek — not a transient surface-blush, but a gathering35 inward excitement raised its tint36 and its temperature.
“Lucy, I do wish to know your thoughts of Dr. Bretton. Do, do give me your real opinion of his character, his disposition37.”
“His character stands high, and deservedly high.”
“And his disposition? Tell me about his disposition,” she urged; “you know him well.”
“I know him pretty well.”
“You know his home-side. You have seen him with his mother; speak of him as a son.”
“He is a fine-hearted son; his mother’s comfort and hope, her pride and pleasure.”
She held my hand between hers, and at each favourable38 word gave it a little caressing39 stroke.
“In what other way is he good, Lucy?”
“Dr. Bretton is benevolent40 — humanely41 disposed towards all his race, Dr. Bretton would have benignity42 for the lowest savage43, or the worst criminal.”
“I heard some gentlemen, some of papa’s friends, who were talking about him, say the same. They say many of the poor patients at the hospitals, who tremble before some pitiless and selfish surgeons, welcome him.”
“They are right; I have witnessed as much. He once took me over a hospital; I saw how he was received: your father’s friends are right.”
The softest gratitude44 animated her eye as she lifted it a moment. She had yet more to say, but seemed hesitating about time and place. Dusk was beginning to reign24; her parlour fire already glowed with twilight45 ruddiness; but I thought she wished the room dimmer, the hour later.
“How quiet and secluded46 we feel here!” I remarked, to reassure47 her.
“Do we? Yes; it is a still evening, and I shall not be called down to tea; papa is dining out.”
Still holding my hand, she played with the fingers unconsciously, dressed them, now in her own rings, and now circled them with a twine48 of her beautiful hair; she patted the palm against her hot cheek, and at last, having cleared a voice that was naturally liquid as a lark’s, she said:—
“You must think it rather strange that I should talk so much about Dr. Bretton, ask so many questions, take such an interest, but —”.
“Not at all strange; perfectly49 natural; you like him.”
“And if I did,” said she, with slight quickness, “is that a reason why I should talk? I suppose you think me weak, like my cousin Ginevra?”
“If I thought you one whit50 like Madame Ginevra, I would not sit here waiting for your communications. I would get up, walk at my ease about the room, and anticipate all you had to say by a round lecture. Go on.”
“I mean to go on,” retorted she; “what else do you suppose I mean to do?”
And she looked and spoke51 — the little Polly of Bretton — petulant52, sensitive.
“If,” said she, emphatically, “if I liked Dr. John till I was fit to die for liking53 him, that alone could not license54 me to be otherwise than dumb — dumb as the grave — dumb as you, Lucy Snowe — you know it — and you know you would despise me if I failed in self-control, and whined55 about some rickety liking that was all on my side.”
“It is true I little respect women or girls who are loquacious56 either in boasting the triumphs, or bemoaning57 the mortifications, of feelings. But as to you, Paulina, speak, for I earnestly wish to hear you. Tell me all it will give you pleasure or relief to tell: I ask no more.”
“Do you care for me, Lucy?”
“Yes, I do, Paulina.”
“And I love you. I had an odd content in being with you even when I was a little, troublesome, disobedient girl; it was charming to me then to lavish58 on you my naughtiness and whims59. Now you are acceptable to me, and I like to talk with and trust you. So listen, Lucy.”
And she settled herself, resting against my arm — resting gently, not with honest Mistress Fanshawe’s fatiguing60 and selfish weight.
“A few minutes since you asked whether we had not heard from Graham during our absence, and I said there were two letters for papa on business; this was true, but I did not tell you all.”
“You evaded61?”
“I shuffled62 and equivocated63, you know. However, I am going to speak the truth now; it is getting darker; one can talk at one’s ease. Papa often lets me open the letter-bag and give him out the contents. One morning, about three weeks ago, you don’t know how surprised I was to find, amongst a dozen letters for M. de Bassompierre, a note addressed to Miss de Bassompierre. I spied it at once, amidst all the rest; the handwriting was not strange; it attracted me directly. I was going to say, ‘Papa, here is another letter from Dr. Bretton;’ but the ‘Miss’ struck me mute. I actually never received a letter from a gentleman before. Ought I to have shown it to papa, and let him open it and read it first? I could not for my life, Lucy. I know so well papa’s ideas about me: he forgets my age; he thinks I am a mere64 school-girl; he is not aware that other people see I am grown up as tall as I shall be; so, with a curious mixture of feelings, some of them self-reproachful, and some so fluttering and strong, I cannot describe them, I gave papa his twelve letters — his herd65 of possessions — and kept back my one, my ewe-lamb. It lay in my lap during breakfast, looking up at me with an inexplicable66 meaning, making me feel myself a thing double-existent — a child to that dear papa, but no more a child to myself. After breakfast I carried my letter up-stairs, and having secured myself by turning the key in the door, I began to study the outside of my treasure: it was some minutes before I could get over the direction and penetrate67 the seal; one does not take a strong place of this kind by instant storm — one sits down awhile before it, as beleaguers68 say. Graham’s hand is like himself, Lucy, and so is his seal — all clear, firm, and rounded — no slovenly69 splash of wax — a full, solid, steady drop — a distinct impress; no pointed70 turns harshly pricking71 the optic nerve, but a clean, mellow72, pleasant manuscript, that soothes73 you as you read. It is like his face — just like the chiselling74 of his features: do you know his autograph?”
“I have seen it: go on.”
“The seal was too beautiful to be broken, so I cut it round with my scissors. On the point of reading the letter at last, I once more drew back voluntarily; it was too soon yet to drink that draught75 — the sparkle in the cup was so beautiful — I would watch it yet a minute. Then I remembered all at once that I had not said my prayers that morning. Having heard papa go down to breakfast a little earlier than usual, I had been afraid of keeping him waiting, and had hastened to join him as soon as dressed, thinking no harm to put off prayers till afterwards. Some people would say I ought to have served God first and then man; but I don’t think heaven could be jealous of anything I might do for papa. I believe I am superstitious76. A voice seemed now to say that another feeling than filial affection was in question — to urge me to pray before I dared to read what I so longed to read — to deny myself yet a moment, and remember first a great duty. I have had these impulses ever since I can remember. I put the letter down and said my prayers, adding, at the end, a strong entreaty77 that whatever happened, I might not be tempted78 or led to cause papa any sorrow, and might never, in caring for others, neglect him. The very thought of such a possibility, so pierced my heart that it made me cry. But still, Lucy, I felt that in time papa would have to be taught the truth, managed, and induced to hear reason.
“I read the letter. Lucy, life is said to be all disappointment. I was not disappointed. Ere I read, and while I read, my heart did more than throb79 — it trembled fast — every quiver seemed like the pant of an animal athirst, laid down at a well and drinking; and the well proved quite full, gloriously clear; it rose up munificently80 of its own impulse; I saw the sun through its gush81, and not a mote82, Lucy, no moss83, no insect, no atom in the thrice-refined golden gurgle.
“Life,” she went on, “is said to be full of pain to some. I have read biographies where the wayfarer84 seemed to journey on from suffering to suffering; where Hope flew before him fast, never alighting so near, or lingering so long, as to give his hand a chance of one realizing grasp. I have read of those who sowed in tears, and whose harvest, so far from being reaped in joy, perished by untimely blight85, or was borne off by sudden whirlwind; and, alas86! some of these met the winter with empty garners87, and died of utter want in the darkest and coldest of the year.”
“Was it their fault, Paulina, that they of whom you speak thus died?”
“Not always their fault. Some of them were good endeavouring people. I am not endeavouring, nor actively88 good, yet God has caused me to grow in sun, due moisture, and safe protection, sheltered, fostered, taught, by my dear father; and now — now — another comes. Graham loves me.”
For some minutes we both paused on this climax89.
“Does your father know?” I inquired, in a low voice.
“Graham spoke with deep respect of papa, but implied that he dared not approach that quarter as yet; he must first prove his worth: he added that he must have some light respecting myself and my own feelings ere he ventured to risk a step in the matter elsewhere.”
“How did you reply?”
“I replied briefly, but I did not repulse90 him. Yet I almost trembled for fear of making the answer too cordial: Graham’s tastes are so fastidious. I wrote it three times — chastening and subduing91 the phrases at every rescript; at last, having confected it till it seemed to me to resemble a morsel92 of ice flavoured with ever so slight a zest93 of fruit or sugar, I ventured to seal and despatch94 it.”
“Excellent, Paulina! Your instinct is fine; you understand Dr. Bretton.”
“But how must I manage about papa? There I am still in pain.”
“Do not manage at all. Wait now. Only maintain no further correspondence till your father knows all, and gives his sanction.”
“Will he ever give it?”
“Time will show. Wait.”
“Dr. Bretton wrote one other letter, deeply grateful for my calm, brief note; but I anticipated your advice, by saying, that while my sentiments continued the same, I could not, without my fathers knowledge, write again.”
“You acted as you ought to have done; so Dr. Bretton will feel: it will increase his pride in you, his love for you, if either be capable of increase. Paulina, that gentle hoar-frost of yours, surrounding so much pure, fine flame, is a priceless privilege of nature.”
“You see I feel Graham’s disposition,” said she. “I feel that no delicacy95 can be too exquisite96 for his treatment.”
“It is perfectly proved that you comprehend him, and then — whatever Dr. Bretton’s disposition, were he one who expected to be more nearly met — you would still act truthfully, openly, tenderly, with your father.”
“Lucy, I trust I shall thus act always. Oh, it will be pain to wake papa from his dream, and tell him I am no more a little girl!”
“Be in no hurry to do so, Paulina. Leave the revelation to Time and your kind Fate. I also have noticed the gentleness of her cares for you: doubt not she will benignantly order the circumstances, and fitly appoint the hour. Yes: I have thought over your life just as you have yourself thought it over; I have made comparisons like those to which you adverted97. We know not the future, but the past has been propitious98.
“As a child I feared for you; nothing that has life was ever more susceptible99 than your nature in infancy100: under harshness or neglect, neither your outward nor your inward self would have ripened101 to what they now are. Much pain, much fear, much struggle, would have troubled the very lines of your features, broken their regularity102, would have harassed103 your nerves into the fever of habitual104 irritation105 you would have lost in health and cheerfulness, in grace and sweetness. Providence106 has protected and cultured you, not only for your own sake, but I believe for Graham’s. His star, too, was fortunate: to develop fully the best of his nature, a companion like you was needed: there you are, ready. You must be united. I knew it the first day I saw you together at La Terrasse. In all that mutually concerns you and Graham there seems to me promise, plan, harmony. I do not think the sunny youth of either will prove the forerunner107 of stormy age. I think it is deemed good that you two should live in peace and be happy — not as angels, but as few are happy amongst mortals. Some lives are thus blessed: it is God’s will: it is the attesting108 trace and lingering evidence of Eden. Other lives run from the first another course. Other travellers encounter weather fitful and gusty109, wild and variable — breast adverse110 winds, are belated and overtaken by the early closing winter night. Neither can this happen without the sanction of God; and I know that, amidst His boundless111 works, is somewhere stored the secret of this last fate’s justice: I know that His treasures contain the proof as the promise of its mercy.”
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1
intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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sumptuous
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| adj.豪华的，奢侈的，华丽的 | |
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interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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apprised
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| v.告知，通知( apprise的过去式和过去分词 )；评价 | |
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benign
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| adj.善良的，慈祥的；良性的，无危险的 | |
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middle-aged
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| adj.中年的 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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mien
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| n.风采；态度 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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animated
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| adj.生气勃勃的，活跃的，愉快的 | |
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subdue
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| vt.制服，使顺从，征服；抑制，克制 | |
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gem
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| n.宝石，珠宝；受爱戴的人 [同]jewel | |
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attire
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| v.穿衣，装扮[同]array；n.衣着；盛装 | |
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vanquished
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| v.征服( vanquish的过去式和过去分词 )；战胜；克服；抑制 | |
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dominion
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| n.统治，管辖，支配权；领土，版图 | |
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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futile
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| adj.无效的，无用的，无希望的 | |
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imprint
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| n.印痕，痕迹；深刻的印象；vt.压印，牢记 | |
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cultivation
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| n.耕作，培养，栽培（法），养成 | |
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consecration
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| n.供献，奉献，献祭仪式 | |
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authoritative
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| adj.有权威的，可相信的；命令式的；官方的 | |
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stipulated
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| vt.& vi.规定；约定adj.[法]合同规定的 | |
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homage
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| n.尊敬，敬意，崇敬 | |
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reign
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| n.统治时期，统治，支配，盛行；v.占优势 | |
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mettle
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| n.勇气，精神 | |
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compliance
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| n.顺从；服从；附和；屈从 | |
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narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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concise
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| adj.简洁的，简明的 | |
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abridgment
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| n.删节，节本 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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tint
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| n.淡色，浅色；染发剂；vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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favourable
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| adj.赞成的，称赞的，有利的，良好的，顺利的 | |
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caressing
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| 爱抚的，表现爱情的，亲切的 | |
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benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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humanely
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| adv.仁慈地；人道地；富人情地；慈悲地 | |
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benignity
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| n.仁慈 | |
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savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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secluded
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| adj.与世隔绝的；隐退的；偏僻的v.使隔开，使隐退( seclude的过去式和过去分词) | |
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47
reassure
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| v.使放心，使消除疑虑 | |
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48
twine
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| v.搓，织，编饰；（使）缠绕 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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50
whit
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| n.一点，丝毫 | |
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51
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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petulant
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| adj.性急的，暴躁的 | |
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53
liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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54
license
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| n.执照，许可证，特许；v.许可，特许 | |
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55
whined
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| v.哀号( whine的过去式和过去分词 )；哀诉，诉怨 | |
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56
loquacious
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| adj.多嘴的，饶舌的 | |
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57
bemoaning
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| v.为（某人或某事）抱怨( bemoan的现在分词 )；悲悼；为…恸哭；哀叹 | |
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58
lavish
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| adj.无节制的；浪费的；vt.慷慨地给予，挥霍 | |
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59
WHIMS
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| 虚妄，禅病 | |
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60
fatiguing
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| a.使人劳累的 | |
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61
evaded
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| 逃避( evade的过去式和过去分词 )； 避开； 回避； 想不出 | |
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62
shuffled
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| v.洗（纸牌）( shuffle的过去式和过去分词 )；拖着脚步走；粗心地做；摆脱尘世的烦恼 | |
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63
equivocated
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| v.使用模棱两可的话隐瞒真相( equivocate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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65
herd
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| n.兽群，牧群；vt.使集中，把…赶在一起 | |
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inexplicable
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| adj.无法解释的，难理解的 | |
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67
penetrate
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| v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解 | |
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68
beleaguers
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| v.围攻( beleaguer的第三人称单数 )；困扰；骚扰 | |
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69
slovenly
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| adj.懒散的，不整齐的，邋遢的 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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71
pricking
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| 刺，刺痕，刺痛感 | |
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72
mellow
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| adj.柔和的；熟透的；v.变柔和；(使)成熟 | |
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73
soothes
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| v.安慰( soothe的第三人称单数 )；抚慰；使舒服；减轻痛苦 | |
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74
chiselling
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| n.錾v.凿，雕，镌( chisel的现在分词 ) | |
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draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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76
superstitious
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| adj.迷信的 | |
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entreaty
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| n.恳求，哀求 | |
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78
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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79
throb
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| v.震颤，颤动；(急速强烈地)跳动，搏动 | |
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80
munificently
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81
gush
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| v.喷，涌；滔滔不绝(说话)；n.喷，涌流；迸发 | |
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82
mote
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| n.微粒；斑点 | |
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83
moss
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| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
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84
wayfarer
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| n.旅人 | |
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85
blight
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| n.枯萎病；造成破坏的因素；vt.破坏，摧残 | |
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86
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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garners
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| v.收集并（通常）贮藏（某物），取得，获得( garner的第三人称单数 ) | |
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actively
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| adv.积极地，勤奋地 | |
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89
climax
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| n.顶点；高潮；v.(使)达到顶点 | |
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repulse
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| n.击退，拒绝；vt.逐退，击退，拒绝 | |
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subduing
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| 征服( subdue的现在分词 )； 克制； 制服； 色变暗 | |
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morsel
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| n.一口，一点点 | |
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zest
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| n.乐趣；滋味，风味；兴趣 | |
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despatch
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| n./v.(dispatch)派遣；发送；n.急件；新闻报道 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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adverted
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| 引起注意（advert的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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98
propitious
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| adj.吉利的；顺利的 | |
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99
susceptible
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| adj.过敏的，敏感的；易动感情的，易受感动的 | |
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100
infancy
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| n.婴儿期；幼年期；初期 | |
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101
ripened
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| v.成熟，使熟( ripen的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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102
regularity
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| n.规律性，规则性；匀称，整齐 | |
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103
harassed
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| adj. 疲倦的，厌烦的 动词harass的过去式和过去分词 | |
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104
habitual
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| adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的 | |
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105
irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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106
providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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107
forerunner
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| n.前身，先驱（者），预兆，祖先 | |
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108
attesting
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| v.证明( attest的现在分词 )；证实；声称…属实；使宣誓 | |
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109
gusty
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| adj.起大风的 | |
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110
adverse
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| adj.不利的；有害的；敌对的，不友好的 | |
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111
boundless
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| adj.无限的；无边无际的；巨大的 | |
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