Strange to say — strange, yet true, and owning many parallels in life’s experience — that anticipatory8 craunch proved all — yes — nearly all the torture. The great Juggernaut, in his great chariot, drew on lofty, loud, and sullen9. He passed quietly, like a shadow sweeping10 the sky, at noon. Nothing but a chilling dimness was seen or felt. I looked up. Chariot and demon11 charioteer were gone by; the votary still lived.
M. Emanuel was away three years. Reader, they were the three happiest years of my life. Do you scout12 the paradox13? Listen. I commenced my school; I worked — I worked hard. I deemed myself the steward14 of his property, and determined15, God willing, to render a good account. Pupils came — burghers at first — a higher class ere long. About the middle of the second year an unexpected chance threw into my hands an additional hundred pounds: one day I received from England a letter containing that sum. It came from Mr. Marchmont, the cousin and heir of my dear and dead mistress. He was just recovering from a dangerous illness; the money was a peace-offering to his conscience, reproaching him in the matter of, I know not what, papers or memoranda16 found after his kinswoman’s death — naming or recommending Lucy Snowe. Mrs. Barrett had given him my address. How far his conscience had been sinned against, I never inquired. I asked no questions, but took the cash and made it useful.
With this hundred pounds I ventured to take the house adjoining mine. I would not leave that which M. Paul had chosen, in which he had left, and where he expected again to find me. My externat became a pensionnat; that also prospered17.
The secret of my success did not lie so much in myself, in any endowment, any power of mine, as in a new state of circumstances, a wonderfully changed life, a relieved heart. The spring which moved my energies lay far away beyond seas, in an Indian isle18. At parting, I had been left a legacy19; such a thought for the present, such a hope for the future, such a motive20 for a persevering21, a laborious22, an enterprising, a patient and a brave course — I could not flag. Few things shook me now; few things had importance to vex23, intimidate24, or depress me: most things pleased — mere25 trifles had a charm.
Do not think that this genial26 flame sustained itself, or lived wholly on a bequeathed hope or a parting promise. A generous provider supplied bounteous27 fuel. I was spared all chill, all stint28; I was not suffered to fear penury29; I was not tried with suspense30. By every vessel31 he wrote; he wrote as he gave and as he loved, in full-handed, full-hearted plenitude. He wrote because he liked to write; he did not abridge32, because he cared not to abridge. He sat down, he took pen and paper, because he loved Lucy and had much to say to her; because he was faithful and thoughtful, because he was tender and true. There was no sham33 and no cheat, and no hollow unreal in him. Apology never dropped her slippery oil on his lips — never proffered34, by his pen, her coward feints and paltry35 nullities: he would give neither a stone, nor an excuse — neither a scorpion36; nor a disappointment; his letters were real food that nourished, living water that refreshed.
And was I grateful? God knows! I believe that scarce a living being so remembered, so sustained, dealt with in kind so constant, honourable37 and noble, could be otherwise than grateful to the death.
Adherent38 to his own religion (in him was not the stuff of which is made the facile apostate), he freely left me my pure faith. He did not tease nor tempt39. He said:—
“Remain a Protestant. My little English Puritan, I love Protestantism in you. I own its severe charm. There is something in its ritual I cannot receive myself, but it is the sole creed40 for ‘Lucy.’”
All Rome could not put into him bigotry41, nor the Propaganda itself make him a real Jesuit. He was born honest, and not false — artless, and not cunning — a freeman, and not a slave. His tenderness had rendered him ductile42 in a priest’s hands, his affection, his devotedness43, his sincere pious44 enthusiasm blinded his kind eyes sometimes, made him abandon justice to himself to do the work of craft, and serve the ends of selfishness; but these are faults so rare to find, so costly45 to their owner to indulge, we scarce know whether they will not one day be reckoned amongst the jewels.
And now the three years are past: M. Emanuel’s return is fixed46. It is Autumn; he is to be with me ere the mists of November come. My school flourishes, my house is ready: I have made him a little library, filled its shelves with the books he left in my care: I have cultivated out of love for him (I was naturally no florist) the plants he preferred, and some of them are yet in bloom. I thought I loved him when he went away; I love him now in another degree: he is more my own.
The sun passes the equinox; the days shorten, the leaves grow sere47; but —-he is coming.
Frosts appear at night; November has sent his fogs in advance; the wind takes its autumn moan; but — he is coming.
The skies hang full and dark — a wrack48 sails from the west; the clouds cast themselves into strange forms — arches and broad radiations; there rise resplendent mornings — glorious, royal, purple as monarch49 in his state; the heavens are one flame; so wild are they, they rival battle at its thickest — so bloody50, they shame Victory in her pride. I know some signs of the sky; I have noted51 them ever since childhood. God watch that sail! Oh! guard it!
The wind shifts to the west. Peace, peace, Banshee —“keening” at every window! It will rise — it will swell52 — it shrieks53 out long: wander as I may through the house this night, I cannot lull54 the blast. The advancing hours make it strong: by midnight, all sleepless55 watchers hear and fear a wild south-west storm. That storm roared frenzied56, for seven days. It did not cease till the Atlantic was strewn with wrecks57: it did not lull till the deeps had gorged58 their full of sustenance59. Not till the destroying angel of tempest had achieved his perfect work, would he fold the wings whose waft60 was thunder — the tremor61 of whose plumes62 was storm.
Peace, be still! Oh! a thousand weepers, praying in agony on waiting shores, listened for that voice, but it was not uttered — not uttered till; when the hush63 came, some could not feel it: till, when the sun returned, his light was night to some!
Here pause: pause at once. There is enough said. Trouble no quiet, kind heart; leave sunny imaginations hope. Let it be theirs to conceive the delight of joy born again fresh out of great terror, the rapture64 of rescue from peril65, the wondrous66 reprieve67 from dread68, the fruition of return. Let them picture union and a happy succeeding life.
Madame Beck prospered all the days of her life; so did Père Silas; Madame Walravens fulfilled her ninetieth year before she died. Farewell.
The End
点击收听单词发音
1 prophesy | |
v.预言;预示 | |
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2 oracle | |
n.神谕,神谕处,预言 | |
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3 anticipation | |
n.预期,预料,期望 | |
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4 woe | |
n.悲哀,苦痛,不幸,困难;int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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5 prostrate | |
v.拜倒,平卧,衰竭;adj.拜倒的,平卧的,衰竭的 | |
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6 votary | |
n.崇拜者;爱好者;adj.誓约的,立誓任圣职的 | |
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7 annihilating | |
v.(彻底)消灭( annihilate的现在分词 );使无效;废止;彻底击溃 | |
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8 anticipatory | |
adj.预想的,预期的 | |
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9 sullen | |
adj.愠怒的,闷闷不乐的,(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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10 sweeping | |
adj.范围广大的,一扫无遗的 | |
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11 demon | |
n.魔鬼,恶魔 | |
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12 scout | |
n.童子军,侦察员;v.侦察,搜索 | |
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13 paradox | |
n.似乎矛盾却正确的说法;自相矛盾的人(物) | |
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14 steward | |
n.乘务员,服务员;看管人;膳食管理员 | |
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15 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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16 memoranda | |
n. 备忘录, 便条 名词memorandum的复数形式 | |
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17 prospered | |
成功,兴旺( prosper的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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18 isle | |
n.小岛,岛 | |
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19 legacy | |
n.遗产,遗赠;先人(或过去)留下的东西 | |
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20 motive | |
n.动机,目的;adv.发动的,运动的 | |
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21 persevering | |
a.坚忍不拔的 | |
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22 laborious | |
adj.吃力的,努力的,不流畅 | |
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23 vex | |
vt.使烦恼,使苦恼 | |
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24 intimidate | |
vt.恐吓,威胁 | |
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25 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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26 genial | |
adj.亲切的,和蔼的,愉快的,脾气好的 | |
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27 bounteous | |
adj.丰富的 | |
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28 stint | |
v.节省,限制,停止;n.舍不得化,节约,限制;连续不断的一段时间从事某件事 | |
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29 penury | |
n.贫穷,拮据 | |
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30 suspense | |
n.(对可能发生的事)紧张感,担心,挂虑 | |
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31 vessel | |
n.船舶;容器,器皿;管,导管,血管 | |
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32 abridge | |
v.删减,删节,节略,缩短 | |
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33 sham | |
n./adj.假冒(的),虚伪(的) | |
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34 proffered | |
v.提供,贡献,提出( proffer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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35 paltry | |
adj.无价值的,微不足道的 | |
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36 scorpion | |
n.蝎子,心黑的人,蝎子鞭 | |
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37 honourable | |
adj.可敬的;荣誉的,光荣的 | |
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38 adherent | |
n.信徒,追随者,拥护者 | |
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39 tempt | |
vt.引诱,勾引,吸引,引起…的兴趣 | |
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40 creed | |
n.信条;信念,纲领 | |
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41 bigotry | |
n.偏见,偏执,持偏见的行为[态度]等 | |
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42 ductile | |
adj.易延展的,柔软的 | |
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43 devotedness | |
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44 pious | |
adj.虔诚的;道貌岸然的 | |
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45 costly | |
adj.昂贵的,价值高的,豪华的 | |
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46 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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47 sere | |
adj.干枯的;n.演替系列 | |
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48 wrack | |
v.折磨;n.海草 | |
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49 monarch | |
n.帝王,君主,最高统治者 | |
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50 bloody | |
adj.非常的的;流血的;残忍的;adv.很;vt.血染 | |
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51 noted | |
adj.著名的,知名的 | |
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52 swell | |
vi.膨胀,肿胀;增长,增强 | |
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53 shrieks | |
n.尖叫声( shriek的名词复数 )v.尖叫( shriek的第三人称单数 ) | |
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54 lull | |
v.使安静,使入睡,缓和,哄骗;n.暂停,间歇 | |
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55 sleepless | |
adj.不睡眠的,睡不著的,不休息的 | |
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56 frenzied | |
a.激怒的;疯狂的 | |
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57 wrecks | |
n.沉船( wreck的名词复数 );(事故中)遭严重毁坏的汽车(或飞机等);(身体或精神上)受到严重损伤的人;状况非常糟糕的车辆(或建筑物等)v.毁坏[毁灭]某物( wreck的第三人称单数 );使(船舶)失事,使遇难,使下沉 | |
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58 gorged | |
v.(用食物把自己)塞饱,填饱( gorge的过去式和过去分词 );作呕 | |
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59 sustenance | |
n.食物,粮食;生活资料;生计 | |
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60 waft | |
v.飘浮,飘荡;n.一股;一阵微风;飘荡 | |
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61 tremor | |
n.震动,颤动,战栗,兴奋,地震 | |
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62 plumes | |
羽毛( plume的名词复数 ); 羽毛饰; 羽毛状物; 升上空中的羽状物 | |
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63 hush | |
int.嘘,别出声;n.沉默,静寂;v.使安静 | |
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64 rapture | |
n.狂喜;全神贯注;着迷;v.使狂喜 | |
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65 peril | |
n.(严重的)危险;危险的事物 | |
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66 wondrous | |
adj.令人惊奇的,奇妙的;adv.惊人地;异乎寻常地;令人惊叹地 | |
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67 reprieve | |
n.暂缓执行(死刑);v.缓期执行;给…带来缓解 | |
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68 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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