It was not only that he had all at once become the first object in her life, and she counted for little or nothing in his. That was not the question. She had been for sufficient space of time, and with sufficient stress of circumstances to make the impression one which would not die easily, of the first importance in his thoughts: and no doubt that impression would revive when he had leisure from the overwhelming pre-occupation which was in his mind. But it was that he was himself full of an anxiety and excitement strong enough to dwarf2 every other feeling, which made the blood course through his veins3, and inspired every thought; while she was left in a state more like vacancy4 than anything else, emptied out of everything that had interested her. The vigorous bend of the rowers to the oars5 as they carried him away was not more unlike the regretful languor6 of the women as they stood on the beach, Mrs. Forrester waving her handkerchief, but Oona without even impulse enough in her to do that.
As for Walter, he was all energy and impulse. He arranged the portmanteaux which Symington had brought with his own hands, to leave room for the sweep of the oars, and quicken the crossing. His farewells were but half said. It seemed as if he could scarcely breathe till he got away. Every stroke of the oars lightened his heart, and when he was clear of that tragic7 water altogether, and sprang up upon the rude country waggonette which had been engaged at the inn to carry him to the station, his brow relaxed, and the muscles of his mouth gave way as they had not done since his first day on Loch Houran. He gave a look almost of hatred8 at the old castle, and then averted9 his face. When he reached the railway, the means of communication with the world he had known before, he was a different man. The horses had gone too slowly for him, so did the leisurely10 friendly trains on the Highland11 railway, with their broad large windows for the sake of the views. Travellers, as a rule, did not wish to go too fast while they skirted those gleaming lochs, and ran along under shadow of the mountains: they liked to have somebody to point out which was Loch Ool and which St. Monan’s. It was too slow for Lord Erradeen, but still it was going away. He began to think of all the commonplace accessories of life with a sort of enthusiasm—the great railway stations, the Edinburgh Hotel, with its ordinary guests. He was so sick of everything connected with his Highland property and with its history, that he resolved he would make no pause in Edinburgh, and would not go near Mr. Milnathort. The questions they would no doubt put to him made him impatient even in thought. He would not subject himself to these; he would put away altogether out of his mind, if he could, everything connected with it, and all that he had been seeing and hearing, or, at least, had fancied he heard and saw.
But when Oona turned away from looking after the boat—which she was indeed the first to do, Mrs. Forrester waiting almost as long as it was within sight to wave her handkerchief if the departing guest should look back—she felt herself and her life emptied out all at once. When she began to think of it in the cold light of this sudden conclusion, a sense of humiliation12 came over her. She blushed with hot shame at this altogether unasked, unreasonable13, unnecessary resignation of herself and her interests to a stranger. He was nothing but a stranger, she said to herself; there was no remarkable14 charm in him one way or another. She had not been at all affected15 by his first appearance. He was not handsome enough or clever enough, nor had he any special attraction to gain him so high a place. Somehow she had not thought of Walter in her first realisation of the new interest which had pushed away all the other occupations out of her existence: and she had not blushed in the high sense of expanded life and power to help. But now it moved her with a certain shame to think that the sudden departure of a man whom she scarcely knew, and to whom she was nothing, should thus have emptied out her existence and left a bewildering blank in her heart. She went slowly up the walk, and went to her room, and there sat down with a curious self-abandonment. It was all over, all ended and done. When he came into her life it was accidentally, without any purpose in it on either side; and now that he had gone out of it again, there was no anger, no sense of wrong, only a curious consciousness that everything had gone away—that the soil had slipped from her, and nothing was left. No, there was no reason at all to be angry—nobody was to blame. Then she laughed a little at herself at this curious, wanton sort of trouble intended by nobody—which neither he had meant to draw her into, nor she to bring upon herself.
There was one thing however between her and this vacancy. He had left her a commission which any kind-hearted girl would have thought a delightful16 one—to arrange with the factor how the cotters were to be most effectually helped and provided for. It had been their thought at first—the young man being little better instructed than the girl on such matters—that to make Duncan Fraser and the rest the proprietors17 of their little holdings would be the most effectual way of helping18 them, and would do the property of Lord Erradeen very little harm—a thing that Walter, unaccustomed to property, and still holding it lightly, contemplated19 with all the ease of the landless, never thinking of the thorn in the flesh of a piece of alienated20 land in the midst of an estate, until it suddenly flashed upon him that his estates being all entailed21, this step would be impossible. How was it to be done then? They had decided23 that Shaw would know best, and that some way of remitting24 the rents at least during the lifetime of the present Lord Erradeen must be settled upon, and secured to them at once. Oona had this commission left in her hands. She could have thought of none more delightful a few days ago, but now it seemed to make the future vacancy of life all the more evident by the fact that here was one thing, and only one, before her to do. When that was done, what would happen?—a return upon the pleasant occupations, the amusements, the hundred little incidents which had filled the past? After all, the past was only a week back. Can it ever return, and things be again as they were before?——Oona had never reasoned or speculated on these matters till this moment. She had never known by experiment that the past cannot return, or that which has been be once more; but she became aware of it in a moment now.
Then she got up and stood at her window and looked out on the unchanging landscape, and laughed aloud at herself. How ridiculous it was! By this time it made no difference to Lord Erradeen that she had ever existed. Why should it make any difference to her that he had come and gone? The new generation takes a view of such matters which is different from the old-fashioned sentimental25 view. After yielding to the new influence rashly, unawares, like a romantic girl of any benighted26 century, Oona began to examine it like an enlightened young intelligence of her own. Her spirit rose against it, and that vigorous quality which we call a sense of humour. There was something almost ludicrous in the thought that one intelligent creature should be thus subject to another, and that life itself should be altered by an accidental meeting. And if this was absurd to think of in any case, how much more in her own? Nobody had ever had a more pleasant, happy life. In her perfect womanliness and submission27 to all the laws of nature, she was yet as independent as the most free-born soul could desire. There was no path in all the district, whether it led to the loneliest cottage or the millionnaire’s palace, that was not free to Oona Forrester. The loch and the hills were open to her as her mother’s garden, to the perfectly28 dauntless, modest creature, who had never in her life heard a tone or caught a look of disrespect. She went her mother’s errands, which were so often errands of charity, far and near, with companions when she cared for them, without companions when she did not. What did it matter? The old cotter people about had a pretty Gaelic name for her; and to all the young ones Miss Oona of the Isle was as who should say Princess Oona, a young lady whom every one was bound to forward upon her way. Her mother was not so clever as Oona, which was, perhaps, a drawback; but she could not have been more kind, more tender, more loving if she had possessed29, as our Laureate says, “the soul of Shakespeare.” All was well about and around this favourite of nature. How was it possible then that she could have come to any permanent harm in two or three days?
Notwithstanding this philosophical30 view, however, Oona did nothing all that day, and to tell the truth felt little except the sense of vacancy; but next day she announced to her mother that she was going to the Manse to consult with Mr. Cameron about the Truach-Glas cotters, and that probably she would see Mr. Shaw there, and be able to do the business Lord Erradeen had confided31 to her. Mrs. Forrester fully32 approved.
“A thing that is to make poor folk more comfortable should never be put off a moment,” that kind woman said, “for, poor bodies, they have little enough comfort at the best,” and she stood at the porch and waved her hand to her child, as the boat sped out of the shade of the isle into the cold sunshine which had triumphed for an hour or two over the clouds and rain. Oona found Mr. Shaw, as she had anticipated, in the village, and there was a very brisk and not altogether peaceable discussion in the minister’s study, over this new idea. The factor, though he was so strongly set against all severe measures, and in reality so much on the side of the cotters, was yet taken aback, as was natural, by the new idea presented to him. He laughed at the notion of making them the owners of their little holdings.
“Why not give Tom Patterson his farm too? He finds it just as hard to pay the rent,” he cried in minded ridicule33 and wrath34. “There is no difference in the principle though there may be in the circumstances. And what if Lord Erradeen had a few hundred crofters instead of half-a-dozen? I’m speaking of the principle. Of course he cannot do it. It’s all entailed, every inch of the land, and he cannot do it; but supposing he could, and that he were treating them all equally? It’s just not to be done. It is just shifting the difficulty. It is putting other people at a disadvantage. A man cannot give away his land and his living. It is just a thing that is not to be done.”
“He knows it is not to be done; he knows it is entailed, therefore——”
“Oh yes, Miss Oona; therefore—” cried the factor. “Little of it, very little, would have come his way if it had not been entailed. Whether or not it is good for the country, there can be no doubt it’s the stronghold of a family. Very likely there would have been no Methvens (and small damage, begging his pardon that is a kind of a new stock), and certainly there would have been no property to keep up a title, but for the entail22. It is a strange story, the story of them altogether.” Shaw continued, “it has been a wonderfully managed property. I must say that for it; no praise to me, so I am free to speak. There was the late lord—the only one I knew. There was very little in him, and yet the way he managed was wonderful; they have just added land to land, and farm to farm. I do not understand it. And now I suppose we’ve arrived at the prodigal35 that always appears some time in a family to make the hoards36 go.”
“No, no,” said the minister, “you must not call the man a prodigal whose wish is to give to the poor.”
“That is all very well,” said Shaw; “the poor, where there are half-a-dozen of them, are easily enough managed. Give them their land if you like (if it was not criminal to cut a slice out of an estate), it does not matter much; but if there were a hundred? It is the principle I am thinking of. They cannot buy it themselves, and the State will not buy it for them, seeing they are only decent Scots lads, not blazing Irishmen. I cannot see where the principle will lead to: I am not against the kindness, Miss Oona, far from that: and these half-a-dozen Frasers, what would it matter? but if there were a hundred? The land is just my profession, as the Church is Mr. Cameron’s, and I must think of it, all the ways of it; and this is a thing that would not work so far as I can see.”
“But Lord Erradeen acknowledges that,” said Oona. “What he wants to do is only for his time. To set them free of the rent they cannot pay, and to let them feel that nobody can touch them, so long as he lives—”
“And the Lord grant him wealth of days,” said the minister; “a long life and a happy one!”
“You will not look at it,” cried the factor, “from a common-sense point of view. All that is very pretty, and pleasing to the young man’s—what shall I call it?—his kindness and his vanity, for both are involved, no doubt. But it will just debauch37 the minds of the people. They will learn to think they have a right to it; and when the next heir comes into possession, there will be a burning question raised up, and a bitter sense of wrong if he asks for his own again. Oh yes, Miss Oona, so long as the present condition of affairs lasts it will be their own. A man with a rent of two or three pounds is just as liable as if it were two or three hundred. The principle is the same; and as I am saying, if there were a number of them, you just could not do it: for I suppose you are not a communist, Miss Oona, that would do away with property altogether?”
A sudden smile from among the clouds lit up Shaw’s ruddy, remonstrative38 countenance39, as he put this question, and Oona smiled too.
“I don’t make any theories,” she said; “I don’t understand it. I feel as Lord Erradeen does, that whatever the law may be, I would rather be without a roof to shelter myself than turn one poor creature out of her home. Oh, I don’t wonder when I remember the horror in his face! Think! could you sleep, could you rest—you, young and strong, and well off, when you had turned out the poor folk to the hill?—all for a little miserable40 money?” cried Oona, starting to her feet, “or for the principle, as you call it? I, for one,” cried the girl, with flashing eyes, “would never have let him speak to me again.”
“There you have it, Oona; there’s a principle, if you like; there is something that will work,” cried the old minister, with a tremulous burst of laughter. “Just you keep by that, my bonnie dear, and all your kind; and we’ll hear of few evictions within the Highland line.”
“That would be all very well,” said the factor, “if every landlord was a young lad, like Lord Erradeen; but even then it might be a hard case, and Miss Oona would not find it as easy as she thinks; for supposing there were hundreds, as I’m always saying: and supposing there were some among them that could just pay well enough, but took advantage; and supposing a landlord that was poor too, and was losing everything? No, no, Miss Oona, in this world things are not so simple. My counsel is to let them be—just to let them be. I would bid them pay when they can, and that my lord would not be hard upon them. That is what I would do. I would tell them he was willing to wait, and may be to forgive them what was past, or something like that. After what happened the other day, they will be very sure he will not be hard upon them. And that is what I would advise him to do.”
“You are not going to wash your hands of it, after all?” the minister said.
Shaw laughed. “Not just this time, Mr. Cameron. I always thought he was a fine lad. And now that he has good advisers41, and amenable——” he added, with a glance at Oona, which fortunately she did not see.
And after this interview she went home, very silent, depressed42 as she had no right to be, feeling as if life was over, and all things come to an end.
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1
isle
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| n.小岛，岛 | |
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dwarf
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| n.矮子，侏儒，矮小的动植物；vt.使…矮小 | |
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veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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vacancy
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| n.（旅馆的）空位，空房，（职务的）空缺 | |
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oars
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| n.桨，橹( oar的名词复数 )；划手v.划（行）( oar的第三人称单数 ) | |
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languor
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| n.无精力，倦怠 | |
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tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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9
averted
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| 防止，避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 )； 转移 | |
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10
leisurely
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| adj.悠闲的；从容的，慢慢的 | |
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highland
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| n.(pl.)高地，山地 | |
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humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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proprietors
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| n.所有人，业主( proprietor的名词复数 ) | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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alienated
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| adj.感到孤独的，不合群的v.使疏远( alienate的过去式和过去分词 )；使不友好；转让；让渡（财产等） | |
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entailed
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| 使…成为必要( entail的过去式和过去分词 )； 需要； 限定继承； 使必需 | |
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entail
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| vt.使承担，使成为必要，需要 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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remitting
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| v.免除（债务），宽恕( remit的现在分词 )；使某事缓和；寄回，传送 | |
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sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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benighted
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| adj.蒙昧的 | |
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submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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philosophical
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| adj.哲学家的，哲学上的，达观的 | |
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confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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prodigal
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| adj.浪费的，挥霍的，放荡的 | |
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hoards
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| n.（钱财、食物或其他珍贵物品的）储藏，积存( hoard的名词复数 )v.积蓄并储藏（某物）( hoard的第三人称单数 ) | |
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debauch
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| v.使堕落，放纵 | |
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remonstrative
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| adj.抗议的，忠告的 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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advisers
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| 顾问，劝告者( adviser的名词复数 )； （指导大学新生学科问题等的）指导教授 | |
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depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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