EVERYTHING WAS READY.
I was packed for my two-day visit with “Alice,” and my bag waited for me on the passenger seat of mytruck. I’d given the concert tickets to Angela, Ben, and Mike. Mike was going to take Jessica, which wasexactly as I’d hoped. Billy had borrowed Old Quil Ateara’s boat and invited Charlie down for some open seafishing before the afternoon game started. Collin and Brady, the two youngest werewolves, were stayingbehind to protect La Push — though they were just children, both of them only thirteen. Still, Charlie would besafer than anyone left in Forks.
I had done all that I could do. I tried to accept that, and put the things that were outside of my control outof my head, for tonight at least. One way or another, this would all be over in forty-eight hours. The thoughtwas almost comforting.
Edward had requested that I relax, and I was going to do my best.
“For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me?” he’d pleaded, unleashingthe full force of his eyes on me. “It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Justyou.”
That was not a hard request to agree to, though I knew that forgetting my fears would be much easier saidthan done. Other matters were on my mind now, knowing that we had this night to be alone, and that wouldhelp.
There were some things that had changed.
For instance, I was ready.
I was ready to join his family and his world. The fear and guilt2 and anguish3 I was feeling now had taughtme that much. I’d had a chance to concentrate on this — as I’d gazed at the moon through the clouds andrested against a werewolf — and I knew I would not panic again. The next time something came at us, Iwould be ready. An asset, not a liability. He would never have to make the choice between me and his familyagain. We would be partners, like Alice and Jasper. Next time, I would do my part.
I would wait for the sword to be removed from over my head, so that Edward would be satisfied. But itwasn’t necessary. I was ready.
There was only one missing piece.
One piece, because there were some things that had not changed, and that included the desperate way Iloved him. I’d had plenty of time to think through the ramifications4 of Jasper and Emmett’s bet — to figure outthe things I was willing to lose with my humanity, and the part that I was not willing to give up. I knew whichhuman experience I was going to insist on before I became inhuman5.
So we had some things to work out tonight. After everything I’d seen in the past two years, I didn’tbelieve in the word impossible anymore. It was going to take more than that to stop me now.
Okay, well, honestly, it was probably going to be much more complicated than that. But I was going totry.
As decided6 as I was, I wasn’t surprised that I still felt nervous as I drove down the long path to his house— I didn’t know how to do what I was trying to do, and that guaranteed me some serious jitters7. He sat in thepassenger seat, fighting a smile at my slow pace. I was surprised that he hadn’t insisted on taking the wheel,but tonight he seemed content to go at my speed.
It was after dark when we reached the house. In spite of that, the meadow was bright in the light shiningfrom every window.
As soon as I cut the engine he was at my door, opening it for me. He lifted me from the cab with one arm,slinging my bag out of the truck bed and over his shoulder with the other. His lips found mine as I heard himkick the truck’s door shut behind me.
Without breaking the kiss, he swung me up so that I was cradled in his arms and carried me into thehouse.
Was the front door already open? I didn’t know. We were inside, though, and I was dizzy. I had to remind myself to breathe.
This kissing did not frighten me. It wasn’t like before when I could feel the fear and panic leaking throughhis control. His lips were not anxious, but enthusiastic now — he seemed as thrilled as I was that we hadtonight to concentrate on being together. He continued to kiss me for several minutes, standing8 there in theentry; he seemed less guarded than usual, his mouth cold and urgent on mine.
I began to feel cautiously optimistic. Perhaps getting what I wanted would not be as difficult as I’dexpected it to be.
No, of course it was going to be just exactly that difficult.
With a low chuckle9, he pulled me away, holding me at arm’s length.
“Welcome home,” he said, his eyes liquid and warm.
“That sounds nice,” I said, breathless.
He set me gently on my feet. I wrapped both my arms around him, refusing to allow any space betweenus.
“I have something for you,” he said, his tone conversational10.
“Oh?”
“Your hand-me-down, remember? You said that was allowable.”
“Oh, that’s right. I guess I did say that.”
He chuckled11 at my reluctance12.
“It’s up in my room. Shall I go get it?”
His bedroom? “Sure,” I agreed, feeling quite devious13 as I wound my fingers through his. “Let’s go.”
He must have been eager to give me my non-present, because human velocity14 was not fast enough forhim. He scooped15 me up again and nearly flew up the stairs to his room. He set me down at the door, anddarted into his closet.
He was back before I’d taken a step, but I ignored him and went to the huge gold bed, plopping down onthe edge and then sliding to the center. I curled up in a ball, my arms wrapped around my knees.
“Okay,” I grumbled16. Now that I was where I wanted to be, I could afford a little reluctance. “Let me haveit.”
Edward laughed.
He climbed onto the bed to sit next to me, and my heart thumped17 unevenly18. Hopefully he would write thatoff as some reaction to him giving me presents.
“A hand-me-down,” he reminded me sternly. He pulled my left wrist away from my leg, and touched thesilver bracelet20 for just a moment. Then he gave me my arm back.
I examined it cautiously. On the opposite side of the chain from the wolf, there now hung a brilliant heart-shaped crystal. It was cut in a million facets21, so that even in the subdued22 light shining from the lamp, itsparkled. I inhaled23 in a low gasp24.
“It was my mother’s.” He shrugged25 deprecatingly. “I inherited quite a few baubles26 like this. I’ve givensome to Esme and Alice both. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way.”
I smiled ruefully at his assurance.
“But I thought it was a good representation,” he continued. “It’s hard and cold.” He laughed. “And itthrows rainbows in the sunlight.”
“You forgot the most important similarity,” I murmured. “It’s beautiful.”
“My heart is just as silent,” he mused27. “And it, too, is yours.”
I twisted my wrist so the heart would glimmer28. “Thank you. For both.”
“No, thank you. It’s a relief to have you accept a gift so easily. Good practice for you, too.” He grinned,flashing his teeth.
I leaned into him, ducking my head under his arm and cuddling into his side. It probably felt similar tosnuggling with Michelangelo’s David, except that this perfect marble creature wrapped his arms around me topull me closer.
It seemed like a good place to start.
“Can we discuss something? I’d appreciate it if you could begin by being open-minded.”
He hesitated for a moment. “I’ll give it my best effort,” he agreed, cautious now.
“I’m not breaking any rules here,” I promised. “This is strictly29 about you and me.” I cleared my throat. “So . . . I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other night. I was thinking I would like toapply the same principle to a different situation.” I wondered why I was being so formal. Must be the nerves.
“What would you like to negotiate?” he asked, a smile in his voice.
I struggled, trying to find exactly the right words to open with.
“Listen to your heart fly,” he murmured. “It’s fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings. Are you all right?”
“I’m great.”
“Please go on then,” he encouraged.
“Well, I guess, first, I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition thing.”
“It’s only ridiculous to you. What about it?”
“I was wondering . . . is that open to negotiation30?”
Edward frowned, serious now. “I’ve already made the largest concession31 by far and away — I’ve agreedto take your life away against my better judgment32. And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on yourpart.”
“No.” I shook my head, focusing on keeping my face composed. “That part’s a done deal. We’re notdiscussing my . . . renovations right now. I want to hammer out some other details.”
He looked at me suspiciously. “Which details do you mean exactly?”
I hesitated. “Let’s clarify your prerequisites33 first.”
“You know what I want.”
“Matrimony.” I made it sound like a dirty word.
“Yes.” He smiled a wide smile. “To start with.”
The shock spoiled my carefully composed expression. “There’s more?”
“Well,” he said, and his face was calculating. “If you’re my wife, then what’s mine is yours . . . like tuitionmoney. So there would be no problem with Dartmouth.”
“Anything else? While you’re already being absurd?”
“I wouldn’t mind some time.”
“No. No time. That’s a deal breaker right there.”
He sighed longingly34. “Just a year or two?”
I shook my head, my lips set in a stubborn frown. “Move along to the next one.”
“That’s it. Unless you’d like to talk cars . . .”
He grinned widely when I grimaced35, then took my hand and began playing with my fingers.
“I didn’t realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself. I’mextremely curious.” His voice was low and soft. The slight edge would have been hard to detect if I hadn’tknown it so well.
I paused, staring at his hand on mine. I still didn’t know how to begin. I felt his eyes watching me and Iwas afraid to look up. The blood began to burn in my face.
His cool fingers brushed my cheek. “You’re blushing?” he asked in surprise. I kept my eyes down.
“Please, Bella, the suspense36 is painful.”
I bit my lip.
“Bella.” His tone reproached me now, reminded me that it was hard for him when I kept my thoughts tomyself.
“Well, I’m a little worried . . . about after,” I admitted, finally looking at him.
I felt his body tense, but his voice was gentle and velvet37. “What has you worried?”
“All of you just seem so convinced that the only thing I’m going to be interested in, afterward38, isslaughtering everyone in town,” I confessed, while he winced39 at my choice of words. “And I’m afraid I’ll be sopreoccupied with the mayhem that I won’t be me anymore . . . and that I won’t . . . I won’t want you thesame way I do now.”
“Bella, that part doesn’t last forever,” he assured me.
He was missing the point.
“Edward,” I said, nervous, staring at a freckle40 on my wrist. “There’s something that I want to do beforeI’m not human anymore.”
He waited for me to continue. I didn’t. My face was all hot.
“Whatever you want,” he encouraged, anxious and completely clueless.
“Do you promise?” I muttered, knowing my attempt to trap him with his words was not going to work, butunable to resist.
“Yes,” he said. I looked up to see that his eyes were earnest and confused. “Tell me what you want, andyou can have it.”
I couldn’t believe how awkward and idiotic41 I felt. I was too innocent — which was, of course, central tothe discussion. I didn’t have the faintest idea how to be seductive. I would just have to settle for flushed andself-conscious.
“You,” I mumbled42 almost incoherently.
“I’m yours.” He smiled, still oblivious43, trying to hold my gaze as I looked away again.
I took a deep breath and shifted forward so that I was kneeling on the bed. Then I wrapped my armsaround his neck and kissed him.
He kissed me back, bewildered but willing. His lips were gentle against mine, and I could tell his mind waselsewhere — trying to figure out what was on my mind. I decided he needed a hint.
My hands were slightly shaky as I unlocked my arms from around his neck. My fingers slid down his neckto the collar of his shirt. The trembling didn’t help as I tried to hurry to undo44 the buttons before he stopped me.
His lips froze, and I could almost hear the click in his head as he put together my words and my actions.
He pushed me away at once, his face heavily disapproving45.
“Be reasonable, Bella.”
“You promised — whatever I wanted,” I reminded him without hope.
“We’re not having this discussion.” He glared at me while he refastened the two buttons I’d managed toopen.
My teeth clamped together.
“I say we are,” I growled46. I moved my hands to my blouse and yanked open the top button.
He grabbed my wrists and pinned them to my sides.
“I say we’re not,” he said flatly.
“You wanted to know,” I pointed48 out.
“I thought it would be something faintly realistic.”
“So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing you want — like getting married — but I’m not allowedto even discuss what I —”
While I was ranting49, he pulled my hands together to restrain them in just one of his, and put his other handover my mouth.
“No.” His face was hard.
I took a deep breath to steady myself. And, as the anger began to fade, I felt something else.
It took me a minute to recognize why I was staring down again, the blush returning — why my stomachfelt uneasy, why there was too much moisture in my eyes, why I suddenly wanted to run from the room.
Rejection washed through me, instinctive50 and strong.
I knew it was irrational51. He’d been very clear on other occasions that my safety was the only factor. YetI’d never made myself quite so vulnerable before. I scowled52 at the golden comforter that matched his eyes andtried to banish53 the reflex reaction that told me I was unwanted and unwantable.
Edward sighed. The hand over my mouth moved under my chin, and he pulled my face up until I had tolook at him.
“What now?”
“Nothing,” I mumbled.
He scrutinized54 my face for long moment while I tried unsuccessfully to twist away from his gaze. His browfurrowed, and his expression became horrified55.
“Did I hurt your feelings?” he asked, shocked.
“No,” I lied.
So quickly that I wasn’t even sure how it happened, I was in his arms, my face cradled between hisshoulder and his hand, while his thumb stroked reassuringly56 against my cheek.
“You know why I have to say no,” he murmured. “You know that I want you, too.”
“Do you?” I whispered, my voice full of doubt.
“Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl.” He laughed once, and then his voice was bleak57.
“Doesn’t everyone? I feel like there’s a line behind me, jockeying for position, waiting for me to make a bigenough mistake. . . . You’re too desirable for your own good.”
“Who’s being silly now?” I doubted if awkward, self-conscious, and inept58 added up to desirable inanyone’s book.
“Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose names would be on thetop of the list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you.”
I shook my head against his chest, grimacing59. “You’re just trying to distract me. Let’s get back to thesubject.”
He sighed.
“Tell me if I have anything wrong.” I tried to sound detached. “Your demands are marriage” — I couldn’tsay the word without making a face — “paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn’t mind if myvehiclewent a little faster.” I raised my eyebrows60. “Did I get everything? That’s a hefty list.”
“Only the first is a demand.” He seemed to be having a hard time keeping a straight face. “The others aremerely requests.”
“And my lone1, solitary62 little demand is —”
“Demand?” he interrupted, suddenly serious again.
“Yes, demand.”
His eyes narrowed.
“Getting married is a stretch for me. I’m not giving in unless I get something in return.”
He leaned down to whisper in my ear. “No,” he murmured silkily. “It’s not possible now. Later, whenyou’re less breakable. Be patient, Bella.”
I tried to keep my voice firm and reasonable. “But that’s the problem. It won’t be the same when I’m lessbreakable. I won’t be the same! I don’t know who I’ll be then.”
“You’ll still be Bella,” he promised.
I frowned. “If I’m so far gone that I’d want to kill Charlie — that I’d drink Jacob’s blood or Angela’s if Igot the chance — how can that be true?”
“It will pass. And I doubt you’ll want to drink the dog’s blood.” He pretended to shudder63 at the thought.
“Even as a newborn, you’ll have better taste than that.”
I ignored his attempt to sidetrack me. “But that will always be what I want most, won’t it?” I challenged.
“Blood, blood, and more blood!”
“The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true,” he pointed out.
“Over eighty years later,” I reminded him. “What I meant was physically64, though. Intellectually, I know I’llbe able to be myself . . . after a while. But just purely65 physically — I will always be thirsty, more than anythingelse.”
He didn’t answer.
“So I will be different,” I concluded unopposed. “Because right now, physically, there’s nothing I wantmore than you. More than food or water or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my priorities in a slightly moresensible order. But physically . . .”
I twisted my head to kiss the palm of his hand.
He took a deep breath. I was surprised that it sounded a little unsteady.
“Bella, I could kill you,” he whispered.
“I don’t think you could.”
Edward’s eyes tightened66. He lifted his hand from my face and reached quickly behind himself forsomething I couldn’t see. There was a muffled68 snapping sound, and the bed quivered beneath us.
Something dark was in his hand; he held it up for my curious examination. It was a metal flower, one of theroses that adorned69 the wrought70 iron posts and canopy71 of his bed frame. His hand closed for a brief second,his fingers contracting gently, and then it opened again.
Without a word, he offered me the crushed, uneven19 lump of black metal. It was a cast of the inside of hishand, like a piece of play dough72 squeezed in a child’s fist. A half-second passed, and the shape crumbled73 intoblack sand in his palm.
I glared. “That’s not what I meant. I already know how strong you are. You didn’t have to break the furniture.”
“What did you mean then?” he asked in a dark voice, tossing the handful of iron sand to the corner of theroom; it hit the wall with a sound like rain.
His eyes were intent on my face as I struggled to explain.
“Obviously not that you aren’t physically able hurt me, if you wanted to . . . More that, you don’t want tohurt me . . . so much so that I don’t think that you ever could.”
He started shaking his head before I was done.
“It might not work like that, Bella.”
“Might,” I scoffed74. “You have no more idea what you’re talking about than I do.”
“Exactly. Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?”
I stared into his eyes for a long minute. There was no sign of compromise, no hint of indecision in them.
“Please,” I finally whispered, hopeless. “It’s all I want. Please.” I closed my eyes in defeat, waiting for thequick and final no.
But he didn’t answer immediately. I hesitated in disbelief, stunned75 to hear that his breathing was unevenagain.
I opened my eyes, and his face was torn.
“Please?” I whispered again, my heartbeat picking up speed. My words tumbled out as I rushed to takeadvantage of the sudden uncertainty76 in his eyes. “You don’t have to make me any guarantees. If it doesn’twork out right, well, then that’s that. Just let us try . . . only try. And I’ll give you what you want,” I promisedrashly. “I’ll marry you. I’ll let you pay for Dartmouth, and I won’t complain about the bribe77 to get me in. Youcan even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just . . . please.”
His icy arms tightened around me, and his lips were at my ear; his cool breath made me shiver. “Thisisunbearable. So many things I’ve wanted to give you — and this is what you decide to demand. Do you haveany idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way?”
“Then don’t refuse,” I suggested breathlessly.
He didn’t respond.
“Please,” I tried again.
“Bella . . .” He shook his head slowly, but it didn’t feel like a denial as his face, his lips, moved back andforth across my throat. It felt more like surrender. My heart, racing79 already, spluttered frantically80.
Again, I took what advantage I could. When his face turned toward mine with the slow movement of hisindecision, I twisted quickly in his arms till my lips reached his. His hands seized my face, and I thought he wasgoing to push me away again.
I was wrong.
His mouth was not gentle; there was a brand-new edge of conflict and desperation in the way his lipsmoved. I locked my arms around his neck, and, to my suddenly overheated skin, his body felt colder thanever. I trembled, but it was not from the chill.
He didn’t stop kissing me. I was the one who had to break away, gasping81 for air. Even then his lips didnot leave my skin, they just moved to my throat. The thrill of victory was a strange high; it made me feelpowerful. Brave. My hands weren’t unsteady now; I got through with the buttons on his shirt this time easily,and my fingers traced the perfect planes of his icy chest. He was too beautiful. What was the word he’d usedjust now? Unbearable78 — that was it. His beauty was too much to bear. . . .
I pulled his mouth back to mine, and he seemed just as eager as I was. One of his hands still cupped myface, his other arm was tight around my waist, straining me closer to him. It made it slightly more difficult as Itried to reach the front of my shirt, but not impossible.
Cold iron fetters82 locked around my wrists, and pulled my hands above my head, which was suddenly on apillow.
His lips were at my ear again. “Bella,” he murmured, his voice warm and velvet. “Would you please stoptrying to take your clothes off?”
“Do you want to do that part?” I asked, confused.
“Not tonight,” he answered softly. His lips were slower now against my cheek and jaw83, all the urgencygone.
“Edward, don’t —,” I started to argue.
“I’m not saying no,” he reassured84 me. “I’m just saying not tonight.”
I thought about that while my breathing slowed.
“Give me one good reason why tonight is not as good as any other night.” I was still breathless; it madethe frustration85 in my voice less impressive.
“I wasn’t born yesterday.” He chuckled inmy ear. “Out of the two of us, which do you think is moreunwilling to give the other what they want? You just promised to marry me before you do any changing, but ifI give in tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won’t go running off to Carlisle in the morning? I am —clearly — much less reluctant to give you what you want. Therefore . . . you first.”
I exhaled86 with a loud huff. “I have to marry you first?” I asked in disbelief.
“That’s the deal — take it or leave it. Compromise, remember?”
His arms wrapped around me, and he began kissing me in a way that should be illegal. Too persuasive87 —it was duress88, coercion89. I tried to keep a clear head . . . and failed quickly and absolutely.
“I think that’s a really bad idea,” I gasped90 when he let me breathe.
“I’m not surprised you feel that way.” He smirked91. “You have a one-track mind.”
“How did this happen?” I grumbled. “I thought I was holding my own tonight — for once — and now, allof a sudden —”
“You’re engaged,” he finished.
“Ew! Please don’t say that out loud.”
“Are you going back on your word?” he demanded. He pulled away to read my face. His expression wasentertained. He was having fun.
I glared at him, trying to ignore the way his smile made my heart react.
“Are you?” he pressed.
“Ugh!” I groaned92. “No. I’m not. Are you happy now?”
His smile was blinding. “Exceptionally.”
I groaned again.
“Aren’t you happy at all?”
He kissed me again before I could answer. Another too-persuasive kiss.
“A little bit,” I admitted when I could speak. “But not about getting married.”
He kissed me another time. “Do you get the feeling that everything is backward?” he laughed in my ear.
“Traditionally, shouldn’t you be arguing my side, and I yours?”
“There isn’t much that’s traditional about you and me.”
“True.”
He kissed me again, and kept going until my heart was racing and my skin was flushed.
“Look, Edward,” I murmured, my voice wheedling93, when he paused to kiss the palm of my hand. “I said Iwould marry you, and I will. I promise. I swear. If you want, I’ll sign a contract in my own blood.”
“Not funny,” he murmured against the inside of my wrist.
“What I’m saying is this — I’m not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. Sothere’s really no reason to wait. We’re completely alone — how often does that happen? — and you’veprovided this very large and comfortable bed. . . .”
“Not tonight,” he said again.
“Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I do.”
Using the hand that he was still kissing, I pulled his face back up to where I could see his expression.
“Then what’s the problem? It’s not like you didn’t know you were going to win in the end.” I frowned andmuttered, “You always win.”
“Just hedging my bets,” he said calmly.
“There’s something else,” I guessed, my eyes narrowing. There was a defensiveness94 about his face, a fainthint of some secret motive95 he was trying to hide behind his casual manner. “Are you planning to go back onyour word?”
“No,” he promised solemnly. “I swear to you, we will try. After you marry me.”
I shook my head, and laughed glumly96. “You make me feel like a villain97 in a melodrama98 — twirling mymustache while I try to steal some poor girl’s virtue99.”
His eyes were wary100 as they flashed across my face, then he quickly ducked down to press his lips againstmy collarbone.
“That’s it, isn’t it?” The short laugh that escaped me was more shocked than amused. “You’re trying toprotect your virtue!” I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle67 the giggle101 that followed. The words were so .
. . old-fashioned.
“No, silly girl,” he muttered against my shoulder. “I’m trying to protect yours. And you’re making itshockinglydifficult.”
“Of all the ridiculous —”
“Let me ask you something,” he interrupted quickly. “We’ve had this discussion before, but humor me.
How many people in this room have a soul? A shot at heaven, or whatever there is after this life?”
“Two,” I answered immediately, my voice fierce.
“All right. Maybe that’s true. Now, there’s a world full of dissension about this, but the vast majority seemto think that there are some rules that have to be followed.”
“Vampire102 rules aren’t enough for you? You want to worry about the human ones too?”
“It couldn’t hurt.” He shrugged. “Just in case.”
I glared at him through narrowed eyes.
“Now, of course, it might be too late for me, even if you are right about my soul.”
“No, it isn’t,” I argued angrily.
“‘Thou shalt not kill’ is commonly accepted by most major belief systems. And I’ve killed a lot of people,Bella.”
“Only the bad ones.”
He shrugged. “Maybe that counts, maybe it doesn’t. But you haven’t killed anyone —”
“That you know about,” I muttered.
He smiled, but otherwise ignored the interruption. “And I’m going to do my best to keep you out oftemptation’s way.”
“Okay. But we weren’t fighting over committing murder,” I reminded him.
“The same principle applies — the only difference is that this is the one area in which I’m just as spotlessas you are. Can’t I leave one rule unbroken?”
“One?”
“You know that I’ve stolen, I’ve lied, I’ve coveted103 . . . my virtue is all I have left.” He grinned crookedly105.
“I lie all the time.”
“Yes, but you’re such a bad liar106 that it doesn’t really count. Nobody believes you.”
“I really hope you’re wrong about that — because otherwise Charlie is about to burst through the doorwith a loaded gun.”
“Charlie is happier when he pretends to swallow your stories. He’d rather lie to himself than look tooclosely.” He grinned at me.
“But what did you ever covet104?” I asked doubtfully. “You have everything.”
“I coveted you.” His smile darkened. “I had no right to want you — but I reached out and took youanyway. And now look what’s become of you! Trying to seduce107 a vampire.” He shook his head in mockhorror.
“You can covet what’s already yours,” I informed him. “Besides, I thought it was my virtue you wereworried about.”
“It is. If it’s too late for me . . . Well, I’ll be damned — no pun intended — if I’ll let them keep you out,too.”
“You can’t make me go somewhere you won’t be,” I vowed108. “That’s my definition of hell. Anyway, Ihave an easy solution to all this: let’s never die, all right?”
“Sounds simple enough. Why didn’t I think of that?”
He smiled at me until I gave up with an angry humph. “So that’s it. You won’t sleep with me until we’remarried.”
“Technically, I can’t ever sleep with you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Very mature, Edward.”
“But, other than that detail, yes, you’ve got it right.”
“I think you have an ulterior motive.”
His eyes widened innocently. “Another one?”
“You know this will speed things up,” I accused.
He tried not to smile. “There is only one thing I want to speed up, and the rest can wait forever . . . but forthat, it’s true, your impatient human hormones109 are my most powerful ally at this point.”
“I can’t believe I’m going along with this. When I think of Charlie . . . and Renée! Can you imagine whatAngela will think? Or Jessica? Ugh. I can hear the gossip now.”
He raised one eyebrow61 at me, and I knew why. What did it matter what they said about me when Ileaving soon and not coming back? Was I really so oversensitive that I couldn’t bear a few weeks of sidelongglances and leading questions?
Maybe it wouldn’t bug110 me so much if I didn’t know that I would probably be gossiping just ascondescendingly as the rest of them if it was someone else getting married this summer.
Gah. Married this summer! I shuddered111.
And then, maybe it wouldn’t bug me so much if I hadn’t been raised to shudder at the thought of marriage.
Edward interrupted my fretting112. “It doesn’t have to be a big production. I don’t need any fanfare113. Youwon’t have to tell anyone or make any changes. We’ll go to Vegas — you can wear old jeans and we’ll go tothe chapel114 with the drive-through window. I just want it to be official — that you belong to me and no oneelse.”
“It couldn’t be any more official than it already is,” I grumbled. But his description didn’t sound that bad.
Only Alice would be disappointed.
“We’ll see about that.” He smiled complacently115. “I suppose you don’t want your ring now?”
I had to swallow before I could speak. “You suppose correctly.”
He laughed at my expression. “That’s fine. I’ll get it on your finger soon enough.”
I glared at him. “You talk like you already have one.”
“I do,” he said, unashamed. “Ready to force upon you at the first sign of weakness.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“Do you want to see it?” he asked. His liquid topaz eyes were suddenly shining with excitement.
“No!” I almost shouted, a reflex reaction. I regretted it at once. His face fell ever so slightly. “Unless youreally want to show it to me,” I amended116. I gritted117 my teeth together to keep my illogical terror from showing.
“That’s all right,” he shrugged. “It can wait.”
I sighed. “Show me the damn ring, Edward.”
He shook his head. “No.”
I studied his expression for a long minute.
“Please?” I asked quietly, experimenting with my newly discovered weapon. I touched his face lightly withthe tips of my fingers. “Please can I see it?”
His eyes narrowed. “You are the most dangerous creature I’ve ever met,” he muttered. But he got up andmoved with unconscious grace to kneel next to the small bedside table. He was back on the bed with me in aninstant, sitting beside me with one arm around my shoulder. In his other hand was a little black box. Hebalanced it on my left knee.
“Go ahead and look, then,” he said brusquely.
It was harder than it should have been to pick up the inoffensive little box, but I didn’t want to hurt himagain, so I tried to keep my hand from shaking. The surface was smooth with black satin. I brushed my fingersover it, hesitating.
“You didn’t spend a lot of money, did you? Lie to me, if you did.”
“I didn’t spend anything,” he assured me. “It’s just another hand-me-down. This is the ring my father gaveto my mother.”
“Oh.” Surprise colored my voice. I pinched the lid between my thumb and forefinger118, but didn’t open it.
“I supposed it’s a little outdated119.” His tone was playfully apologetic. “Old-fashioned, just like me. I can getyou something more modern. Something from Tiffany’s?”
“I like old-fashioned things,” I mumbled as I hesitantly lifted the lid.
Nestled into the black satin, Elizabeth Masen’s ring sparkled in the dim light. The face was a long oval, setwith slanting120 rows of glittering round stones. The band was gold — delicate and narrow. The gold made a fragile web around the diamonds. I’d never seen anything like it.
Unthinkingly, I stroked the shimmering121 gems122.
“It’s so pretty,” I murmured to myself, surprised.
“Do you like it?”
“It’s beautiful.” I shrugged, feigning123 a lack of interest. “What’s not to like?”
He chuckled. “See if it fits.”
My left hand clenched124 into a fist.
“Bella,” he sighed. “I’m not going to solder125 it to your finger. Just try it on so I can see if it needs to besized. Then you can take it right off.”
“Fine,” I grumbled.
I reached for the ring, but his long fingers beat me there. He took my left hand in his, and slid the ring intoplace on my third finger. He held my hand out, and we both examined the oval sparkling against my skin. Itwasn’t quite as awful as I’d feared, having it there.
“A perfect fit,” he said indifferently. “That’s nice — saves me a trip to the jeweler’s.”
I could hear some strong emotion burning under the casual tone of his voice, and I stared up at his face. Itwas there in his eyes, too, visible despite the careful nonchalance126 of his expression.
“You like that, don’t you?” I asked suspiciously, fluttering my fingers and thinking that it was really too badthat I had not broken my left hand.
He shrugged his shoulders. “Sure,” he said, still casual. “It looks very nice on you.”
I stared into his eyes, trying to decipher the emotion that smoldered127 just under the surface. He gazed back,and the casual pretense128 suddenly slipped away. He was glowing — his angel’s face brilliant with joy andvictory. He was so glorious that it knocked me breathless.
Before I could catch that breath, he was kissing me, his lips exultant129. I was lightheaded when he moved hismouth to whisper in my ear — but his breathing was just as ragged130 as mine.
“Yes, I like it. You have no idea.”
I laughed, gasping a little. “I believe you.”
“Do you mind if I do something?” he murmured, his arms tightening131 around me.
“Anything you want.”
But he let me go and slid away.
“Anything but that,” I complained.
He ignored me, taking my hand and pulling me off the bed, too. He stood in front of me, hands on myshoulders, face serious.
“Now, I want to do this right. Please, please, keep in mind that you’ve already agreed to this, and don’truin it for me.”
“Oh, no,” I gasped as he slid down onto one knee.
“Be nice,” he muttered.
I took a deep breath.
“Isabella Swan?” He looked up at me through his impossibly long lashes132, his golden eyes soft but,somehow, still scorching133. “I promise to love you forever — every single day of forever. Will you marry me?”
There were many things I wanted to say, some of them not nice at all, and others more disgustingly gooeyand romantic than he probably dreamed I was capable of. Rather than embarrass myself with either, Iwhispered, “Yes.”
“Thank you,” he said simply. He took my left hand and kissed each of my fingertips before he kissed thering that was now mine.
收听单词发音 |
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lone
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| adj.孤寂的，单独的；唯一的 | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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ramifications
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| n.结果，后果( ramification的名词复数 ) | |
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inhuman
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| adj.残忍的，不人道的，无人性的 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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jitters
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| n.pl.紧张(通常前面要有the) | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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chuckle
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| vi.／n.轻声笑，咯咯笑 | |
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conversational
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| adj.对话的，会话的 | |
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chuckled
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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devious
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| adj.不坦率的，狡猾的；迂回的，曲折的 | |
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velocity
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| n.速度，速率 | |
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scooped
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| v.抢先报道( scoop的过去式和过去分词 )；（敏捷地）抱起；抢先获得；用铲[勺]等挖（洞等） | |
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grumbled
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| 抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 发牢骚； 咕哝； 发哼声 | |
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thumped
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| v.重击， （指心脏）急速跳动( thump的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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unevenly
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| adv.不均匀的 | |
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uneven
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| adj.不平坦的，不规则的，不均匀的 | |
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bracelet
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| n.手镯，臂镯 | |
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facets
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| n.（宝石或首饰的）小平面( facet的名词复数 )；（事物的）面；方面 | |
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subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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inhaled
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| v.吸入( inhale的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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gasp
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| n.喘息，气喘；v.喘息；气吁吁他说 | |
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25
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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baubles
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| n.小玩意( bauble的名词复数 )；华而不实的小件装饰品；无价值的东西；丑角的手杖 | |
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mused
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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glimmer
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| v.发出闪烁的微光；n.微光，微弱的闪光 | |
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strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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negotiation
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| n.谈判，协商 | |
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concession
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| n.让步，妥协；特许(权) | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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prerequisites
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| 先决条件，前提( prerequisite的名词复数 ) | |
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longingly
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| adv. 渴望地 热望地 | |
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grimaced
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| v.扮鬼相，做鬼脸( grimace的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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suspense
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| n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑 | |
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velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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winced
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| 赶紧避开，畏缩( wince的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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freckle
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| n.雀簧；晒斑 | |
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idiotic
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| adj.白痴的 | |
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mumbled
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| 含糊地说某事，叽咕，咕哝( mumble的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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oblivious
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| adj.易忘的，遗忘的，忘却的，健忘的 | |
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undo
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| vt.解开，松开；取消，撤销 | |
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disapproving
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| adj.不满的，反对的v.不赞成( disapprove的现在分词 ) | |
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46
growled
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| v.（动物）发狺狺声， （雷）作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 )；低声咆哮着说 | |
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glowered
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| v.怒视( glower的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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48
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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49
ranting
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| v.夸夸其谈( rant的现在分词 )；大叫大嚷地以…说教；气愤地)大叫大嚷；不停地大声抱怨 | |
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50
instinctive
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| adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的 | |
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51
irrational
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| adj.无理性的，失去理性的 | |
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52
scowled
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| 怒视，生气地皱眉( scowl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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53
banish
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| vt.放逐，驱逐；消除，排除 | |
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54
scrutinized
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| v.仔细检查，详审( scrutinize的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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55
horrified
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| a.(表现出)恐惧的 | |
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reassuringly
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| ad.安心，可靠 | |
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57
bleak
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| adj.(天气)阴冷的；凄凉的；暗淡的 | |
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58
inept
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| adj.不恰当的，荒谬的，拙劣的 | |
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59
grimacing
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| v.扮鬼相，做鬼脸( grimace的现在分词 ) | |
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60
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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61
eyebrow
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| n.眉毛，眉 | |
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62
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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63
shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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64
physically
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| adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律 | |
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65
purely
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| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
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66
tightened
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| 收紧( tighten的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）变紧； （使）绷紧； 加紧 | |
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67
muffle
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| v.围裹；抑制；发低沉的声音 | |
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68
muffled
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| adj.（声音）被隔的；听不太清的；（衣服）裹严的；蒙住的v.压抑，捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 )；用厚厚的衣帽包着（自己） | |
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adorned
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| [计]被修饰的 | |
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70
wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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71
canopy
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| n.天篷，遮篷 | |
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72
dough
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| n.生面团；钱，现款 | |
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73
crumbled
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| （把…）弄碎， （使）碎成细屑( crumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 衰落； 坍塌； 损坏 | |
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74
scoffed
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| 嘲笑，嘲弄( scoff的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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75
stunned
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| adj. 震惊的，惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
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76
uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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77
bribe
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| n.贿赂；v.向…行贿，买通 | |
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78
unbearable
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| adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的 | |
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79
racing
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| n.竞赛，赛马；adj.竞赛用的，赛马用的 | |
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80
frantically
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| ad.发狂地, 发疯地 | |
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81
gasping
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| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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82
fetters
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| n.脚镣( fetter的名词复数 )；束缚v.给…上脚镣，束缚( fetter的第三人称单数 ) | |
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83
jaw
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| n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训 | |
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84
reassured
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| adj.使消除疑虑的；使放心的v.再保证，恢复信心( reassure的过去式和过去分词) | |
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85
frustration
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| n.挫折，失败，失效，落空 | |
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86
exhaled
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| v.呼出，发散出( exhale的过去式和过去分词 )；吐出（肺中的空气、烟等），呼气 | |
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87
persuasive
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| adj.有说服力的，能说得使人相信的 | |
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88
duress
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| n.胁迫 | |
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89
coercion
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| n.强制，高压统治 | |
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90
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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91
smirked
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| v.傻笑( smirk的过去分词 ) | |
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92
groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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93
wheedling
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| v.骗取（某物），哄骗（某人干某事）( wheedle的现在分词 ) | |
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94
defensiveness
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| 防御性 | |
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95
motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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96
glumly
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| adv.忧郁地，闷闷不乐地；阴郁地 | |
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97
villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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98
melodrama
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| n.音乐剧；情节剧 | |
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99
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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100
wary
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| adj.谨慎的，机警的，小心的 | |
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101
giggle
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| n.痴笑，咯咯地笑；v.咯咯地笑着说 | |
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102
vampire
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| n.吸血鬼 | |
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103
coveted
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| adj.令人垂涎的；垂涎的，梦寐以求的v.贪求，觊觎(covet的过去分词)；垂涎；贪图 | |
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104
covet
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| vt.垂涎；贪图(尤指属于他人的东西) | |
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105
crookedly
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| adv. 弯曲地，不诚实地 | |
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106
liar
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| n.说谎的人 | |
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107
seduce
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| vt.勾引，诱奸，诱惑，引诱 | |
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108
vowed
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| 起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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109
hormones
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| n. 荷尔蒙，激素 名词hormone的复数形式 | |
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110
bug
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| n.虫子；故障；窃听器；vt.纠缠；装窃听器 | |
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111
shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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112
fretting
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| n. 微振磨损 adj. 烦躁的, 焦虑的 | |
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113
fanfare
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| n.喇叭；号角之声；v.热闹地宣布 | |
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114
chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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115
complacently
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| adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
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116
Amended
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| adj. 修正的 动词amend的过去式和过去分词 | |
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117
gritted
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| v.以沙砾覆盖（某物），撒沙砾于( grit的过去式和过去分词 )；咬紧牙关 | |
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118
forefinger
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| n.食指 | |
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119
outdated
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| adj.旧式的，落伍的，过时的；v.使过时 | |
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120
slanting
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| 倾斜的，歪斜的 | |
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121
shimmering
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| v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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122
gems
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| growth； economy； management； and customer satisfaction 增长 | |
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123
feigning
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| 假装，伪装( feign的现在分词 )； 捏造（借口、理由等） | |
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124
clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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125
solder
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| v.焊接，焊在一起；n.焊料，焊锡 | |
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126
nonchalance
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| n.冷淡，漠不关心 | |
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127
smoldered
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| v.用文火焖烧，熏烧，慢燃( smolder的过去式 ) | |
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128
pretense
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| n.矫饰，做作，借口 | |
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129
exultant
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| adj.欢腾的，狂欢的，大喜的 | |
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130
ragged
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| adj.衣衫褴褛的，粗糙的，刺耳的 | |
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131
tightening
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| 上紧，固定，紧密 | |
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132
lashes
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| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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133
scorching
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| adj. 灼热的 | |
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