Because in that golden age of freedom, security and opportunity in which our story opens, people enjoyed, among other enviable liberties, great liberty of salesmanship, and a number of enterprising business men, realising that a vast majority o their fellow-creatures suffered from internal pains and discomforts7 due to the consumption of well-advertised but unwholesome foods, to the unhygienic quality of their housing and employment, and to the survival at a low level of existence of multitudes of individuals who would have been far better dead, devoted9 themselves to their exploitation. This great uneasy majority constituted from the point of view of salesmanship a mass of consumers to be catered10 for with a view to profit, and to that these entrepreneurs vying11 with one another, set themselves with great energy.
The medical profession in those days worked almost, entirely12 for private gain and protected its privileges upon trade union principles; it combined very low standards of education and qualification, with a creditable insistence13 upon the honour and privilege of the individual practitioner14. Doctors were disposed to’ stand by one another under criticism, in a post mortem or anything of that sort, when definitely unprofessional conduct did not.appear. Their methods of diagnosis were old — fashioned; good diagnosis was a matter of aptitude15 rather than training, and generally they preferred to diagnose a definite disease and bring it out fairly and squarely and cure it or kill, than tackle all those various and ill-defined states of malaise that would not yield to such forthright17 treatment. They waved these aside as fancifulness. Consequently there was a considerable irritation18 between doctors and patients; the doctor and his antiquated19 and incomprehensible prescriptions20, his authoritative21 manners and his failure to enlist22 the intelligence of his patient such as it was, in the process of recovery, was distrusted even more than he deserved; and the way lay wide open for salesmanship, to flout23 his claim to be the sole dealer24 in the health of the community.
So in spite of him there had grown up a steadily25 expanding business of pills, aperients, tonics27, sustaining foods, cures for every sort of twinge and pain, stimulants28, purifiers. These new salesmen began perhaps crudely, but they steadily improved in their methods and reached an ever-widening clientele. Their advertisements became a more and more important item in newspaper finance. From early appeals to people who already had pains, their more and more competent methods instructed people how, when and where to have pains. The medical profession attempted warnings, published analyses of popular remedies, explained their ineffectiveness and their harmfulness, and so forth16, but this now gigantic system of human enterprise had achieved the control of all the media of news distribution, and the doctors were quite unable to get their protests over to the public at large. Their pamphlets vanished from the bookstalls and got no “Press.” They said things to their patients, but they found their patients incredulous in the face of an enormous volume of skilled assertion.
This book is no picture of the Edwardian–Georgian age, but these simple circumstances have to be stated here if the reader, in this new and vivid world of adventure and disaster in which we live today, is to understand the way in which Mrs Richard Tewler did herself to death.
The newspapers began to look for Mrs Tewler in real earnest in the benign29 reign30 of King Edward the Seventh. Then it was that “Constant Reader”, in anticipation31 of Professor Crew, changed sex. In the old days when Richard was alive, Mrs Tewler hardly ever glanced at the paper. She took no interest in Politics or what men had considered to be news, and it was only when she discovered the existence of “Aunt Jane” and “Dorothy Wisdom” through such publications as the Mothers’ Vade-mecum, that she spread out her reading to the new daily Press, so different from the grey uneventful expanses of the old.
She began to read first about bargains and cosmetics32, because, although no decent Christian33 woman paints her face or does anything of that sort, it might be possible to learn something about one’s appearance that did not involve that. Naturally her attention flowed over to the more intimate discussions beside them.
There was “that tired feeling.” She had it. But she did not realise what it meant for her until the salesmen told her. It meant the onset34 of anaemia and then pernicious anaemia. For that a certain blood mixture was admirable. She stocked that and forgot to note its effect because next she was being made conscious of a whole series of neuralgic pains.
They flitted about, pursued by nervous panaceas35, and got to her head. There always had been times when she had had headaches, but never the. splitting headaches she realised after she had seen a picture of a mighty36 fist hammering nails into a head. It was liver pills she needed for that, and they were added to her medical menu.
Effervescent salts promised and failed to restore her to a giddy cheerfulness, because now she lay awake all night suffering from night starvation. That too could be met. Uric acid also got loose in her system and clamoured for further remedies. Her washstand carried an ever-increasing array of bottles, capsules, pills and powders.
Still the salesmen pursued her. It dawned upon her that she had sinus trouble and incipient37 arthritis38, cancer in several places and osteomyelitis. She did all that could be done to anticipate and defeat these evils. She did not tell her doctor about the cancer, because the salesman assured her that would bring upon her the crowning horror of an operation. She could not face that. No operation. No!
She felt under-nourished, and, instead of taking wholesome8 food, she consumed a cup of feeble tea with a meaty flavour, that the salesmen assured her with vivid illustrations, had the strength of a whole ox in it. Never a newspaper dared to denounce this murderous lie. She swallowed the stuff, felt satisfied for half an hour or so, and then faded again. She picked herself up with a viciously drugged red wine because its salesmen assured her that all its profits went to the promotion39 of Christian Missions throughout the world.
Its advertisements were endorsed40 with signatures of venal41 divines of every persuasion42. All religious organisations, as Shaw has been reminding us in his Major Barbara film, need funds, and all organisations that need funds can be bought A.M.D.G., and so ultimately the Lord’s work was done on the craving43 stomach and suffering frame of Mrs Tewler. Poor Mother Eve, from first to last thou and all thy seed have been the victims of the Salesman! For so it was we lost our paradise, when the first salesman sold thee his fruit and lingerie. He proffered44 his free sample, he guaranteed satisaction. And until selling shall cease from the earth —. . . .
(Censor.)
She stood in her bedroom wearily taking her doses, hoping she had not forgotten anything, and listening to her ever more sinister45 internal noises. Then she would feel herself all over for growths and tumours46. Often she felt quite hard ones.
She told everybody she could all about her sufferings, and Mr Myame called her “Our Dear Martyred Sister.” And he told her, all this will be returned to you a thousandfold, which possibly was not exactly what he intended to say. Some of the other members of the inner circle were fairly good at affliction, but none could produce anything to equal hers either in depth or variety. Mrs Humbelay one day described an artificial hernia to her, and remarked that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and Mrs Tewler said, “If it comes to that, my dear, I think I would rather die. . . . ”
But hernia she was mercifully spared. It did not come to that. The salesmen could make nothing out of artificial hernias.
She clang so desperately47 to life; because where would her Only One be without her? And it is to be noted48 that very little of this remedial struggle of hers extended to him. But that was because she was able to observe her own terrible symptoms, while, after one single experience with some tonic26 drops, nothing would induce Edward Albert to admit he had any symptoms at all. His demonstration49 of his extreme vitality50 on a later occasion included an attempt to stand on his head which was only partially51 successful and led to the breaking of a plate.
“You cannot be too careful”— she coughed from her chair — she was developing her pleurisy that day. “Doing that might lead to a rush of blood to the head and apoplexy. Promise me, whatever happens, you will never attempt that again.”
She had a spasm52 of pain. “He’s not much use, darling, but do you know I feel so queer that I think I ought to see Dr Gabbidash. If you’ll go round for him. He might at least give me a morphia injection.”
The good doctor did, and in the course of a week assisted her departure from this vale of trial and error in a soundly professional manner. For she really had pleurisy. She had brought herself down to a vulnerability that gave any old germs a fair chance with her. Their blitzkrieg was swift and successful.
During her final phase of medicated malaise Mrs Tewler made several wills, couched for the most part in a richly pious53 phraseology. The valid54 instrument left a number of trifling55 souvenirs to various friends, including a marked Bible and a silver-framed photograph for her dear friend Mrs Humbelay, and named Mr Myame as sole executor, trustee and guardian56 for her son until the dear child was twenty-one, exhorting57 the young man to trust and obey his guardian as a Father and more than a Father, a Guide and a Wise Dear Friend.
Edward Albert listened to these dispositions58 without an excessive display of emotion.
He looked at the lawyer and he looked at Mr Myame, He sat on the edge of his chair meagre and wary59.
“I suppose it ‘ad to be,” he said with resignation, He sucked his teeth for a moment.
“Who was that Mr Whittaker who sent that great wreath?” he asked. “What sort of relation is he to me?”
Neither of them could tell him.
Then he reflected, “I didn’t know Mother was nearly so bad as she was. No. . . . I suppose it ‘ad to be. . . . That was — it was”— gulp60 —“a lovely wreath anyhow, She would have liked. . . . ”
And suddenly his white little face crumpled61 up and he was weeping.
“You have lost the Noblest and the very best of Mothers,” said Mr Myame. “That Sainted Brave Woman. . . . ”
Edward Albert had acquired a habit of never listening to what Mr Myame might be saying. He wiped his miserable62 sniffing63 face with the back of a dirty little hand. He was only beginning to realise what all this meant to him. Day or night she would never be there any more. Never. He wouldn’t go home to her presently and tell her things to his credit, true or false according to circumstances, and bask64 in the love she bore him. She wouldn’t be there. She wasn’t there. She’d gone!
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1
certified
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| a.经证明合格的；具有证明文件的 | |
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certify
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| vt.证明，证实；发证书(或执照)给 | |
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diagnosis
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| n.诊断，诊断结果，调查分析，判断 | |
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epidemic
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| n.流行病；盛行；adj.流行性的，流传极广的 | |
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disorders
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| n.混乱( disorder的名词复数 )；凌乱；骚乱；（身心、机能）失调 | |
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surfeit
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| v.使饮食过度；n.(食物)过量，过度 | |
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discomforts
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| n.不舒适( discomfort的名词复数 )；不愉快，苦恼 | |
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wholesome
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| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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catered
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| 提供饮食及服务( cater的过去式和过去分词 )； 满足需要，适合 | |
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vying
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| adj.竞争的；比赛的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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insistence
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| n.坚持；强调；坚决主张 | |
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practitioner
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| n.实践者，从事者；(医生或律师等)开业者 | |
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aptitude
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| n.(学习方面的)才能，资质，天资 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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forthright
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| adj.直率的，直截了当的 [同]frank | |
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irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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antiquated
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| adj.陈旧的，过时的 | |
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prescriptions
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| 药( prescription的名词复数 )； 处方； 开处方； 计划 | |
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authoritative
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| adj.有权威的，可相信的；命令式的；官方的 | |
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enlist
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| vt.谋取(支持等)，赢得；征募；vi.入伍 | |
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flout
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| v./n.嘲弄，愚弄，轻视 | |
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dealer
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| n.商人，贩子 | |
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25
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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tonic
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| n./adj.滋补品，补药，强身的，健体的 | |
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tonics
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| n.滋补品( tonic的名词复数 )；主音；奎宁水；浊音 | |
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28
stimulants
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| n.兴奋剂( stimulant的名词复数 )；含兴奋剂的饮料；刺激物；激励物 | |
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29
benign
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| adj.善良的，慈祥的；良性的，无危险的 | |
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30
reign
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| n.统治时期，统治，支配，盛行；v.占优势 | |
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anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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32
cosmetics
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| n.化妆品 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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onset
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| n.进攻，袭击，开始，突然开始 | |
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35
panaceas
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| n.治百病的药，万灵药( panacea的名词复数 ) | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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incipient
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| adj.起初的，发端的，初期的 | |
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arthritis
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| n.关节炎 | |
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promotion
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| n.提升，晋级；促销，宣传 | |
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40
endorsed
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| vt.& vi.endorse的过去式或过去分词形式v.赞同( endorse的过去式和过去分词 )；在（尤指支票的）背面签字；在（文件的）背面写评论；在广告上说本人使用并赞同某产品 | |
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41
venal
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| adj.唯利是图的，贪脏枉法的 | |
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42
persuasion
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| n.劝说；说服；持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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craving
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| n.渴望,热望 | |
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44
proffered
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| v.提供，贡献，提出( proffer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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45
sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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46
tumours
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| 肿瘤( tumour的名词复数 ) | |
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47
desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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48
noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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49
demonstration
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| n.表明，示范，论证，示威 | |
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50
vitality
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| n.活力，生命力，效力 | |
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51
partially
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| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
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52
spasm
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| n.痉挛，抽搐；一阵发作 | |
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53
pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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54
valid
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| adj.有确实根据的；有效的；正当的，合法的 | |
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55
trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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56
guardian
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| n.监护人；守卫者，保护者 | |
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57
exhorting
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| v.劝告，劝说( exhort的现在分词 ) | |
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58
dispositions
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| 安排( disposition的名词复数 )； 倾向； （财产、金钱的）处置； 气质 | |
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59
wary
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| adj.谨慎的，机警的，小心的 | |
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60
gulp
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| vt.吞咽，大口地吸（气）；vi.哽住；n.吞咽 | |
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61
crumpled
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| adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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62
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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63
sniffing
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| n.探查法v.以鼻吸气，嗅，闻( sniff的现在分词 )；抽鼻子（尤指哭泣、患感冒等时出声地用鼻子吸气）；抱怨，不以为然地说 | |
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64
bask
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| vt.取暖，晒太阳，沐浴于 | |
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