Open-work StockingsA novel is a mirror taken along a road.
SAINT-REALWhen Julien caught sight of the picturesque1 ruins of the old church ofVergy, it occurred to him that for two whole days he had not oncethought of Madame de Renal. The other day, as I was leaving, that woman reminded me of the vast gulf2 that separates us, she treated me like aworkman's son. No doubt she wished to show me that she repented3 ofhaving let me hold her hand the night before … It is a lovely hand, allthe same! What charm, what nobility dwells in that woman's glance!'
The possibility of making a fortune with Fouque gave a certain facilityto the course of Julien's reasoning; it was less often interrupted by irritation4, and the keen sense of his own poverty and humble5 position in theeyes of the world. As though perched on a lofty promontory6, he was ableto judge, and, so to speak, overlooked extreme poverty on the one handand that life of comfort which he still called riches on the other. He wasfar from considering his position like a philosopher, but he had sufficientperception to feel that he was different after this little expedition amongthe mountains.
He was struck by the extreme uneasiness with which Madame de Renal listened to the short account of his journey, for which she had askedhim.
Fouque had had thoughts of marriage, unhappy love affairs; the conversation between the friends had been filled with long confidences ofthis nature. After finding happiness too soon, Fouque had discoveredthat he was not the sole possessor of his mistress's heart. These disclosures had astonished Julien; he had learned much that was new to him.
His solitary7 life, compounded of imagination and suspicion, had kepthim aloof8 from everything that could have enlightened him.
During his absence, life had been for Madame de Renal nothing morethan a succession of torments9, each different but all alike intolerable; shewas really ill.
'You must not, on any account,' Madame Derville told her when shesaw Julien return, 'feeling as you do, sit in the garden this evening, thedamp air would make you worse.'
Madame Derville was surprised to see that her friend, who was always being scolded by M. de Renal for the undue10 simplicity11 of her attire,had put on open-work stockings and a pair of charming little shoes thathad arrived from Paris. For the last three days Madame de Renal's soledistraction had been to cut out and make Elisa put together in all haste asummer gown, of a charming little fabric13 greatly in fashion. It was justpossible to finish this gown a few minutes after Julien's arrival; Madamede Renal at once put it on. Her friend had no longer any doubt.
'She is in love, poor woman!' Madame Derville said to herself. She understood all the strange symptoms of her illness.
She saw her speak to Julien. Pallor took the place of the most vividblushes. Anxiety stood revealed in her eyes, fastened on those of theyoung tutor. Madame de Renal expected every moment that he was going to offer an explanation, and announce that he was leaving the house,or would remain. It never occurred to Julien to say anything about thissubject, which had not entered his thoughts. After a terrible struggle,Madame de Renal at last ventured to say to him, in a tremulous voice, inwhich the whole extent of her passion lay revealed:
'Are you going to leave your pupils to take a post elsewhere?'
Julien was struck by her quavering voice and by the look in her eyes.
'This woman loves me,' he said to himself; 'but after this passing weakness for which her pride is reproaching her, and as soon as she is nolonger afraid of my going, she will return to her arrogance14.' This glimpseof their respective positions came to Julien like a flash of lightning; hereplied, hesitatingly:
'I should greatly regret leaving such attractive and well-born children,but perhaps it will be inevitable15. A man has duties towards himself also.'
As he uttered the words well born (this was one of the aristocratic expressions which Julien had recently acquired), he burned with a strongfeeling of antipathy16.
'To this woman,' he said to himself, 'I am not well born.'
Madame de Renal, as she listened to him, was admiring his intelligence, his beauty, her heart was pierced by the possibility of departurewhich he dangled17 before her. All her friends from Verrieres who, duringJulien's absence, had come out to dine at Vergy, had almost vied in complimenting her upon the astonishing young man that her husband hadhad the good fortune to unearth18. This was not to say that they understood anything of the progress that the children had made. The fact ofhis knowing the Bible by heart, and in Latin, too, had provoked in the inhabitants of Verrieres an admiration19 that will endure for, it may be, acentury.
Julien, who spoke20 to no one, knew nothing of all this. If Madame deRenal had had the slightest self-control, she would have congratulatedhim on the reputation he had won, and Julien, his pride set at rest, wouldhave been pleasant and affable to her, all the more as her new gownseemed to him charming. Madame de Renal, also pleased with her prettygown, and with what Julien said to her about it, had proposed a turn inthe garden; soon she had confessed that she was not well enough towalk. She had taken the returned traveller's arm, and, far from restoringher strength, the contact of that arm deprived her of what little strengthremained to her.
It was dark; no sooner were they seated than Julien, relying on theprivilege he had already won, ventured to press his lips to the arm of hispretty neighbour, and to take her hand. He was thinking of the boldnesswhich Fouque had used with his mistresses, and not of Madame de Renal; the phrase well born still weighed upon his heart. His own hand waspressed, but this afforded him no pleasure. Far from his being proud, oreven grateful for the affection which Madame de Renal betrayed thisevening by unmistakable signs, beauty, elegance21, freshness found himalmost unconscious of their appeal. Purity of heart, freedom from anyfeeling of hatred22, serve doubtless to prolong the duration of youth. It isthe face that ages first in the majority of beautiful women.
Julien was sullen23 all the evening; hitherto he had been angry only withfortune and with society; now that Fouque had offered him an ignobleway of arriving at comfort, he was angry with himself. Absorbed in hisown thoughts, although now and then he addressed a few words to theladies, Julien ended by unconsciously letting go Madame de Renal'shand. This action completely nonplussed24 the poor woman; she saw in itan indication of her fate.
Had she been certain of Julien's affection, her virtue25 might perhapshave found strength to resist him. Trembling at the thought of losing himfor ever, her passion carried her to the point of seizing Julien's hand,which, in his distraction12, he had allowed to rest upon the back of a chair.
This action stirred the ambitious youth; he would have liked it to be witnessed by all those proud nobles who, at table, when he was at the lowerend with the children, used to look at him with so patronising a smile.
'This woman cannot despise me any longer: in that case,' he said to himself, 'I ought to be stirred by her beauty; I owe it to myself to be her lover.' Such an idea would never have occurred to him before he receivedthe artless confidences of his friend.
The sudden resolution he had just made formed a pleasing distraction.
He said to himself: 'I must have one of these two women'; he realisedthat he would greatly have preferred to pay his court to MadameDerville; it was not that she was more attractive, but she had seen him always as a tutor honoured for his learning, and not as a working carpenter, with a ratteen jacket folded under his arm, as he had first appeared to Madame de Renal.
It was precisely26 as a young workman, blushing to the whites of hiseyes, hesitating outside the door of the house and not venturing to ringthe bell, that Madame de Renal delighted most to picture him.
As he followed up this survey of his position, Julien saw that he mustnot think of attempting the conquest of Madame Derville, who had probably noticed the weakness that Madame de Renal showed for him.
Forced to return to the latter: 'What do I know of this woman's character?' Julien asked himself. 'Only this: before I went away, I took her hand,she withdrew it; today I withdraw my hand, she seizes it and presses it.
A good opportunity to repay her all the contempt she has shown for me.
God knows how many lovers she has had! Perhaps she is deciding in myfavour only because of the facilities for our meeting.'
Such is, alas27, the drawback of an excessive civilisation28. At the age oftwenty, the heart of a young man, if he has any education, is a thousandleagues from that devil-may-care attitude without which love is oftenonly the most tedious duty.
'I owe it to myself all the more,' went on Julien's petty vanity, 'to succeed with this woman, so that if I ever make my fortune, and someonereproaches me with having filled the humble post of tutor, I may let it beunderstood that it was love that brought me into that position.'
Julien once more withdrew his hand from that of Madame de Renal,then took her hand again and pressed it. As they returned to thedrawing-room, towards midnight, Madame de Renal murmured in hisear:
'Are you leaving us, are you going away?'
Julien answered with a sigh:
'I must indeed go away, for I love you passionately29; it is a sin … andwhat a sin for a young priest!'
Madame de Renal leaned upon his arm, bending towards him untilher cheek felt the warmth of his.
The night passed for these two people very differently. Madame deRenal was exalted30 by transports of the most lofty moral pleasure. Acoquettish girl who falls in love early grows accustomed to the distressof love; when she comes to the age of true passion, the charm of noveltyis lacking. As Madame de Renal had never read any novels, all the refinements31 of her happiness were new to her. No melancholy32 truth cameto freeze her heart, not even the spectre of the future. She saw herself ashappy in ten years' time as she was at that moment. Even the thought ofvirtue and of the fidelity33 she had vowed34 to M. de Renal, which had distressed35 her some days before, presented itself in vain, she dismissed itlike an importunate36 stranger. 'Never will I allow Julien to take anyliberty,' Madame de Renal told herself, 'we shall live in future as we havebeen living for the last month. He shall be a friend.'
1 picturesque | |
adj.美丽如画的,(语言)生动的,绘声绘色的 | |
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2 gulf | |
n.海湾;深渊,鸿沟;分歧,隔阂 | |
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3 repented | |
对(自己的所为)感到懊悔或忏悔( repent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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4 irritation | |
n.激怒,恼怒,生气 | |
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5 humble | |
adj.谦卑的,恭顺的;地位低下的;v.降低,贬低 | |
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6 promontory | |
n.海角;岬 | |
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7 solitary | |
adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
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8 aloof | |
adj.远离的;冷淡的,漠不关心的 | |
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9 torments | |
(肉体或精神上的)折磨,痛苦( torment的名词复数 ); 造成痛苦的事物[人] | |
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10 undue | |
adj.过分的;不适当的;未到期的 | |
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11 simplicity | |
n.简单,简易;朴素;直率,单纯 | |
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12 distraction | |
n.精神涣散,精神不集中,消遣,娱乐 | |
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13 fabric | |
n.织物,织品,布;构造,结构,组织 | |
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14 arrogance | |
n.傲慢,自大 | |
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15 inevitable | |
adj.不可避免的,必然发生的 | |
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16 antipathy | |
n.憎恶;反感,引起反感的人或事物 | |
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17 dangled | |
悬吊着( dangle的过去式和过去分词 ); 摆动不定; 用某事物诱惑…; 吊胃口 | |
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18 unearth | |
v.发掘,掘出,从洞中赶出 | |
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19 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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20 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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21 elegance | |
n.优雅;优美,雅致;精致,巧妙 | |
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22 hatred | |
n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨 | |
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23 sullen | |
adj.愠怒的,闷闷不乐的,(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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24 nonplussed | |
adj.不知所措的,陷于窘境的v.使迷惑( nonplus的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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25 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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26 precisely | |
adv.恰好,正好,精确地,细致地 | |
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27 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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28 civilisation | |
n.文明,文化,开化,教化 | |
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29 passionately | |
ad.热烈地,激烈地 | |
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30 exalted | |
adj.(地位等)高的,崇高的;尊贵的,高尚的 | |
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31 refinements | |
n.(生活)风雅;精炼( refinement的名词复数 );改良品;细微的改良;优雅或高贵的动作 | |
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32 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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33 fidelity | |
n.忠诚,忠实;精确 | |
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34 vowed | |
起誓,发誓(vow的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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35 distressed | |
痛苦的 | |
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36 importunate | |
adj.强求的;纠缠不休的 | |
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