Chapter 17

It had jumped all customary postal¹ tracks, of course, to travel through dark time zones and bleak² wastelands of yore, accompanied by the eerie³ wailing⁴ note of an oscilloscope and other science-fiction movie background music ...speeding through nimbus shadows and along the undulating mist of bubbling dry ice ...then we cut to close-up: ah. A solitary⁵ crystal hand appearing at my mail slot . . . floating there for an instant, like chemical statuary designed to immediately dissolve as soon as it deposits the invitation that requests my humble⁶ presence at a gathering⁷ being held twelve (twelve? that long ago? Jesus . . .) twelve years previous to the day of its delivery! Whew! Any wonder it left me a little ringy?” I didn’t wait for an answer, or pause when the voice at the other end attempted to interrupt my manic monologue⁸. As the loudspeaker announced departures and the pinball scoreboard outside the booth clattered⁹ and clashed and ran its meaningless numbers upwards¹⁰ in maddened acceleration¹¹, I kept talking, compulsively filling the phone with words in order not to leave an opening of silence for Peters to speak into. Or, more accurately¹², to question into. I think I must have phoned Peters, not so much out of thoughtfulness for an old friend as out of a need to verbalize my reasons, and a desperate wish to logically explain my actions—but I wanted to explain without anyone questioning my explanations. I must have suspected that any extensive probing would surely reveal—to Peters, to myself— that I really had no logical explanation, either for my abortive¹³ attempt at suicide or for my impulsive¹⁴ decision to return home. “. . . so the card convinced me, among other things, that I am still much more at the mercy of my past than I ever imagined. You wait; the same thing will happen to you: you’ll get a call from Georgia one of these days and realize that you’ve many a score to settle back home before you can get on with your business.” “I doubt that I could settle that many scores,” Peters said. “True; your scene is different. But with me it’s just one score. And one man. It was amazing the number of pictures of him that card conjured¹⁵ up: booted feet, with spikes¹⁶ no less. Muddy sweatshirt. Gloved hands forever scratching scratching scratching at a navel or an ear. Raspberry-red lips draped in a drunken grin. A lot of other equally ridiculous pictures to choose from, but the picture that came on the clearest was of his long, sinewy¹⁷ body diving into the river, naked and white and hard as a peeled tree ...this was the predominant image. You see, Brother Hank used to spend hours swimming steadily¹⁸ into the river’s current as he trained for a swimming meet. Hours and hours, swimming steadily, doggedly¹⁹, and remaining in exactly the same place a few feet from the dock. Like a man swimming a liquid treadmill²⁰. The training must have paid off because by the time I was ten he had a shelf simply gleaming with trophies²¹ and cups; I think even held for a time a national swimming record in one of the events. Lord God! All this brought back by that one tiny postcard; and with such astonishing clarity. Lord. Just a card. I dread²² to imagine what a complete letter might have produced.” “Okay. But just what in the shit do you hope to accomplish going home? Even, say, you do settle some funny score—” “Don’t you see? It’s even in the card: ‘You think you’re big enough now?’ It was that way all my time at home—Brother Hank always held up to me as the man to measure up to—and it’s been that way ever since. In a psychologically symbolic²³ way, of course.” “Oh, of course.” “So I’m going home.” “To measure up to this psychological symbol?” “Or pull him down. No, don’t laugh; it’s become ridiculously clear: until I have settled my score with this shadow from my past—” “Crap.” “—I’ll go on feeling inferior and inadequate²⁴.” “Crap, Lee. Everybody has a shadow like that, their old man or somebody—” “Not even able to get on with the business of gassing myself.” “—but they don’t go running home to even things, for shit-sakes—” “No, I’m serious, Peters. I’ve thought it all out. Now listen, I hate to leave you with the hassle of the place and all, but I’ve— thought it all out and I’ve no choice. And could you tell them at the department?” “What? That you blew yourself up? That you’ve gone home to settle a score with the naked ghost of your brother?” “Half-brother. No. Just tell them ...I was forced because of financial and emotional difficulties to—” “Oh man, come on, you can’t be serious.” “And try to explain to Mona, will you?” “Lee, wait; you’re out of your head. Let me come over—” “They’re calling my bus number. I’ve got to rush. I’ll send what I owe you as soon as I can. Good-by, Peters; I’m off to prove Thomas Wolfe was wrong.” I placed Peters, still protesting, back on the hook, and once more drew that long breath. I complimented myself on my control. I had pulled it off nicely. I had managed to remain religiously within the boundaries in spite of Peters’ attempts to subvert²⁵ our system and in spite of a mixture of Dexedrine and phenobarb which was bound to make a fellow a little giddy. Yes, Leland old man, no one can say that you didn’t present a concise²⁶ and completely rational explanation regardless of all the rude distractions²⁷ . . . And the distractions were getting more rude by the second; I noticed this as I pushed out of the booth into the rush of the depot²⁸. The fat boy was humping the pinball machine toward a frenzied²⁹ orgasm of noise, neon, and numbers. The crowd was pushing. The suitcase was pulling. The loudspeaker was advising me in a roar that if I didn’t get on my bus I would be left! “Too much up,” I decided³⁰ and at the water fountain washed down another two phenobarbitals. Just in time to be swept up in a maelstrom³¹ of motion that landed me, marvelously and just in time, on the loading platform in front of my bus. “Leave the suitcase and find yourself a seat,” the driver told me impatiently, as though he’d been waiting for me alone. Which proved to be exactly right: the bus was completely empty. “Not many going West these days?” I asked, but he didn’t answer. I walked unsteadily down the aisle³² to a seat at the back (where I am to remain almost unmoving for almost four days, getting off at stops to go to the can and buy Coke). As I stood, removing my jacket, the door thumped³³ closed at the other end of the bus with a loud hiss³⁴ of compressed air. I jumped and looked toward the noise, but it was so dark in the unlit bus in the garage I couldn’t see the driver. I thought he had gone out and the door closed behind him. Left me locked in here alone! Then the motor beneath me thundered and began straining in pitch. The bus started out of the murky³⁵ cement grotto³⁶ toward the bright New England afternoon, lurching over the sidewalk and throwing me finally into my seat. Just in time. I still hadn’t seen the driver return. The weird³⁷, billowing anarchy³⁸ of motion and sound that had started in the phone booth was now surging around me in earnest. As though the debris³⁹ had finally begun to settle back after hanging suspended overhead all the hours since the blast. Scenes, memories, faces . . . like pictures embroidered⁴⁰ on curtains billowing in the wind. The pinball machine clattered and clung to my eyes. The postcard rang in my ears. My stomach rolled, voices tolled⁴¹ in my head—that interior monitor of mine bellowing⁴² for me to WATCH OUT! HANG ON! THIS IS IT! YOU’RE FINALLY COMPLETELY FLIPPING⁴³! I clutched the armrests of the bus seat desperately⁴⁵, terrified. Looking back (I mean now, here, from this particular juncture⁴⁶ in time, able to be objective and courageous⁴⁷ thanks to the miracle of modern narrative⁴⁸ technique), I see the terror clearly, but I find it a little difficult to believe that I was sincerely able to blame much of this burgeoning⁴⁹ terror on the rather hackneyed fear of going mad. While it was quite fashionable at the time for one to claim to be constantly threatened by the fear of finally flipping out, I don’t think I had been able to honestly convince myself of my right to the claim for a good while. In fact, I remember that one of the scenes swirling⁵⁰ past me as I clutched my seat was a scene with Dr. Maynard, a session at his office where I had told him in dramatic desperation, “Doctor ...I’m going mad; the final complete flip⁴⁴, it’s swooping⁵¹ down out of the hills at me!” He had only smiled, condescendingly and therapeutically⁵².

1 postal   

adj.邮政的，邮局的

参考例句：

• A postal network now covers the whole country.邮路遍及全国。
• Remember to use postal code.勿忘使用邮政编码。

2 bleak   

adj.(天气)阴冷的；凄凉的；暗淡的

参考例句：

• They showed me into a bleak waiting room.他们引我来到一间阴冷的会客室。
• The company's prospects look pretty bleak.这家公司的前景异常暗淡。

3 eerie   

adj.怪诞的；奇异的；可怕的；胆怯的

参考例句：

• It's eerie to walk through a dark wood at night.夜晚在漆黑的森林中行走很是恐怖。
• I walked down the eerie dark path.我走在那条漆黑恐怖的小路上。

4 wailing   

v.哭叫，哀号( wail的现在分词 )；沱

参考例句：

• A police car raced past with its siren wailing. 一辆警车鸣着警报器飞驰而过。
• The little girl was wailing miserably. 那小女孩难过得号啕大哭。

5 solitary   

adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士

参考例句：

• I am rather fond of a solitary stroll in the country.我颇喜欢在乡间独自徜徉。
• The castle rises in solitary splendour on the fringe of the desert.这座城堡巍然耸立在沙漠的边际，显得十分壮美。

6 humble   

adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低

参考例句：

• In my humble opinion,he will win the election.依我拙见，他将在选举中获胜。
• Defeat and failure make people humble.挫折与失败会使人谦卑。

7 gathering   

n.集会，聚会，聚集

参考例句：

• He called on Mr. White to speak at the gathering.他请怀特先生在集会上讲话。
• He is on the wing gathering material for his novels.他正忙于为他的小说收集资料。

8 monologue   

n.长篇大论，（戏剧等中的）独白

参考例句：

• The comedian gave a long monologue of jokes.喜剧演员讲了一长段由笑话组成的独白。
• He went into a long monologue.他一个人滔滔不绝地讲话。

9 clattered   

发出咔哒声（clatter的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• He dropped the knife and it clattered on the stone floor. 他一失手，刀子当啷一声掉到石头地面上。
• His hand went limp and the knife clattered to the ground. 他的手一软，刀子当啷一声掉到地上。

10 upwards   

adv.向上，在更高处...以上

参考例句：

• The trend of prices is still upwards.物价的趋向是仍在上涨。
• The smoke rose straight upwards.烟一直向上升。

11 acceleration   

n.加速，加速度

参考例句：

• All spacemen must be able to bear acceleration.所有太空人都应能承受加速度。
• He has also called for an acceleration of political reforms.他同时呼吁加快政治改革的步伐。

12 accurately   

adv.准确地，精确地

参考例句：

• It is hard to hit the ball accurately.准确地击中球很难。
• Now scientists can forecast the weather accurately.现在科学家们能准确地预报天气。

13 abortive   

adj.不成功的，发育不全的

参考例句：

• We had to abandon our abortive attempts.我们的尝试没有成功，不得不放弃。
• Somehow the whole abortive affair got into the FBI files.这件早已夭折的案子不知怎么就进了联邦调查局的档案。

14 impulsive   

adj.冲动的，刺激的；有推动力的

参考例句：

• She is impulsive in her actions.她的行为常出于冲动。
• He was neither an impulsive nor an emotional man,but a very honest and sincere one.他不是个一冲动就鲁莽行事的人，也不多愁善感.他为人十分正直、诚恳。

15 conjured   

用魔术变出( conjure的过去式和过去分词 )； 祈求，恳求； 变戏法； （变魔术般地） 使…出现

参考例句：

• He conjured them with his dying breath to look after his children. 他临终时恳求他们照顾他的孩子。
• His very funny joke soon conjured my anger away. 他讲了个十分有趣的笑话，使得我的怒气顿消。

16 spikes   

n.穗( spike的名词复数 )；跑鞋；（防滑）鞋钉；尖状物v.加烈酒于( spike的第三人称单数 )；偷偷地给某人的饮料加入（更多）酒精（ 或药物）；把尖状物钉入；打乱某人的计划

参考例句：

• a row of iron spikes on a wall 墙头的一排尖铁
• There is a row of spikes on top of the prison wall to prevent the prisoners escaping. 监狱墙头装有一排尖钉，以防犯人逃跑。 来自《简明英汉词典》

17 sinewy   

adj.多腱的，强壮有力的

参考例句：

• When muscles are exercised often and properly,they keep the arms firm and sinewy.如果能经常正确地锻炼肌肉的话，双臂就会一直结实而强健。
• His hard hands and sinewy sunburned limbs told of labor and endurance.他粗糙的双手，被太阳哂得发黑的健壮四肢,均表明他十分辛勤，非常耐劳。

18 steadily   

adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地

参考例句：

• The scope of man's use of natural resources will steadily grow.人类利用自然资源的广度将日益扩大。
• Our educational reform was steadily led onto the correct path.我们的教学改革慢慢上轨道了。

19 doggedly   

adv.顽强地，固执地

参考例句：

• He was still doggedly pursuing his studies.他仍然顽强地进行着自己的研究。
• He trudged doggedly on until he reached the flat.他顽强地、步履艰难地走着，一直走回了公寓。

20 treadmill   

n.踏车；单调的工作

参考例句：

• The treadmill has a heart rate monitor.跑步机上有个脉搏监视器。
• Drugs remove man from the treadmill of routine.药物可以使人摆脱日常单调的工作带来的疲劳。

21 trophies   

n.（为竞赛获胜者颁发的）奖品( trophy的名词复数 )；奖杯；（尤指狩猎或战争中获得的）纪念品；（用于比赛或赛跑名称）奖

参考例句：

• His football trophies were prominently displayed in the kitchen. 他的足球奖杯陈列在厨房里显眼的位置。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The hunter kept the lion's skin and head as trophies. 这猎人保存狮子的皮和头作为纪念品。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

22 dread   

vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧

参考例句：

• We all dread to think what will happen if the company closes.我们都不敢去想一旦公司关门我们该怎么办。
• Her heart was relieved of its blankest dread.她极度恐惧的心理消除了。

23 symbolic   

adj.象征性的，符号的，象征主义的

参考例句：

• It is symbolic of the fighting spirit of modern womanhood.它象征着现代妇女的战斗精神。
• The Christian ceremony of baptism is a symbolic act.基督教的洗礼仪式是一种象征性的做法。

24 inadequate   

adj.(for,to)不充足的，不适当的

参考例句：

• The supply is inadequate to meet the demand.供不应求。
• She was inadequate to the demands that were made on her.她还无力满足对她提出的各项要求。

25 subvert   

v.推翻；暗中破坏；搅乱

参考例句：

• The rebel army is attempting to subvert the government.反叛军队企图颠覆政府统治。
• They tried to subvert our state and our Party. This is the crux of the matter.他们是要颠覆我们的国家，颠覆我们的党，这是问题的实质。

26 concise   

adj.简洁的，简明的

参考例句：

• The explanation in this dictionary is concise and to the point.这部词典里的释义简明扼要。
• I gave a concise answer about this.我对于此事给了一个简要的答复。

27 distractions   

n.使人分心的事[人]( distraction的名词复数 )；娱乐，消遣；心烦意乱；精神错乱

参考例句：

• I find it hard to work at home because there are too many distractions. 我发觉在家里工作很难，因为使人分心的事太多。
• There are too many distractions here to work properly. 这里叫人分心的事太多，使人无法好好工作。 来自《简明英汉词典》

28 depot   

n.仓库，储藏处；公共汽车站；火车站

参考例句：

• The depot is only a few blocks from here.公共汽车站离这儿只有几个街区。
• They leased the building as a depot.他们租用这栋大楼作仓库。

29 frenzied   

a.激怒的；疯狂的

参考例句：

• Will this push him too far and lead to a frenzied attack? 这会不会逼他太甚，导致他进行疯狂的进攻？
• Two teenagers carried out a frenzied attack on a local shopkeeper. 两名十几岁的少年对当地的一个店主进行了疯狂的袭击。

30 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

31 maelstrom   

n.大乱动；大漩涡

参考例句：

• Inside,she was a maelstrom of churning emotions.她心中的情感似波涛汹涌，起伏不定。
• The anxious person has the spirit like a maelstrom.焦虑的人的精神世界就像一个大漩涡。

32 aisle   

n.（教堂、教室、戏院等里的）过道，通道

参考例句：

• The aisle was crammed with people.过道上挤满了人。
• The girl ushered me along the aisle to my seat.引座小姐带领我沿着通道到我的座位上去。

33 thumped   

v.重击， （指心脏）急速跳动( thump的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Dave thumped the table in frustration . 戴夫懊恼得捶打桌子。
• He thumped the table angrily. 他愤怒地用拳捶击桌子。

34 hiss   

v.发出嘶嘶声；发嘘声表示不满

参考例句：

• We can hear the hiss of air escaping from a tire.我们能听到一只轮胎的嘶嘶漏气声。
• Don't hiss at the speaker.不要嘘演讲人。

35 murky   

adj.黑暗的，朦胧的；adv.阴暗地，混浊地；n.阴暗；昏暗

参考例句：

• She threw it into the river's murky depths.她把它扔进了混浊的河水深处。
• She had a decidedly murky past.她的历史背景令人捉摸不透。

36 grotto   

n.洞穴

参考例句：

• We reached a beautiful grotto,whose entrance was almost hiden by the vine.我们到达了一个美丽的洞穴，洞的进口几乎被藤蔓遮掩著。
• Water trickles through an underground grotto.水沿着地下岩洞流淌。

37 weird   

adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的

参考例句：

• From his weird behaviour,he seems a bit of an oddity.从他不寻常的行为看来，他好像有点怪。
• His weird clothes really gas me.他的怪衣裳简直笑死人。

38 anarchy   

n.无政府状态；社会秩序混乱，无秩序

参考例句：

• There would be anarchy if we had no police.要是没有警察，社会就会无法无天。
• The country was thrown into a state of anarchy.这国家那时一下子陷入无政府状态。

39 debris   

n.瓦砾堆，废墟，碎片

参考例句：

• After the bombing there was a lot of debris everywhere.轰炸之后到处瓦砾成堆。
• Bacteria sticks to food debris in the teeth,causing decay.细菌附着在牙缝中的食物残渣上，导致蛀牙。

40 embroidered   

adj．绣花的

参考例句：

• She embroidered flowers on the cushion covers. 她在这些靠垫套上绣了花。
• She embroidered flowers on the front of the dress. 她在连衣裙的正面绣花。

41 tolled   

鸣钟（toll的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• Bells were tolled all over the country at the King's death. 全国为国王之死而鸣钟。
• The church bell tolled the hour. 教堂的钟声报时。

42 bellowing   

v.发出吼叫声，咆哮（尤指因痛苦）( bellow的现在分词 )；（愤怒地）说出（某事），大叫

参考例句：

• We could hear he was bellowing commands to his troops. 我们听见他正向他的兵士大声发布命令。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He disguised these feelings under an enormous bellowing and hurraying. 他用大声吼叫和喝采掩饰着这些感情。 来自辞典例句

43 flipping   

讨厌之极的

参考例句：

• I hate this flipping hotel! 我讨厌这个该死的旅馆！
• Don't go flipping your lid. 别发火。

44 flip   

vt.快速翻动；轻抛；轻拍；n.轻抛；adj.轻浮的

参考例句：

• I had a quick flip through the book and it looked very interesting.我很快翻阅了一下那本书，看来似乎很有趣。
• Let's flip a coin to see who pays the bill.咱们来抛硬币决定谁付钱。

45 desperately   

adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地

参考例句：

• He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
• He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。

46 juncture   

n.时刻，关键时刻，紧要关头

参考例句：

• The project is situated at the juncture of the new and old urban districts.该项目位于新老城区交界处。
• It is very difficult at this juncture to predict the company's future.此时很难预料公司的前景。

47 courageous   

adj.勇敢的，有胆量的

参考例句：

• We all honour courageous people.我们都尊重勇敢的人。
• He was roused to action by courageous words.豪言壮语促使他奋起行动。

48 narrative   

n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的

参考例句：

• He was a writer of great narrative power.他是一位颇有记述能力的作家。
• Neither author was very strong on narrative.两个作者都不是很善于讲故事。

49 burgeoning   

adj.迅速成长的，迅速发展的v.发芽，抽枝( burgeon的现在分词 )；迅速发展；发（芽），抽（枝）

参考例句：

• Our company's business is burgeoning now. 我们公司的业务现在发展很迅速。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• These efforts were insufficient to contain the burgeoning crisis. 这些努力不足以抑制迅速扩散的危机。 来自辞典例句

50 swirling   

v.旋转，打旋( swirl的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Snowflakes were swirling in the air. 天空飘洒着雪花。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• She smiled, swirling the wine in her glass. 她微笑着，旋动着杯子里的葡萄酒。 来自辞典例句

51 swooping   

俯冲，猛冲( swoop的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• The wind were swooping down to tease the waves. 大风猛扑到海面上戏弄着浪涛。
• And she was talking so well-swooping with swift wing this way and that. 而她却是那样健谈--一下子谈到东，一下子谈到西。

52 therapeutically   

[医]adv.在治疗上

参考例句：

• A lead compound will have some property considered therapeutically useful. 一种先导化合物应具有治疗作用的特性。 来自互联网
• Drugs causing fibrinolysis have been utilized therapeutically. 纤维蛋白溶解药物已被用于临床治疗。 来自互联网