I was a predator1. She was my prey2. There was nothing else in the whole worldbut that truth.
There was no room full of witnesses—they were already collateral3 damage in myhead. The mystery of her thoughts was forgotten. Her thoughts meant nothing, for shewould not go on thinking them much longer.
I was a vampire4, and she had the sweetest blood I’d smelled in eighty years.
I hadn’t imagined such a scent5 could exist. If I’d known it did, I would have gonesearching for it long ago. I would have combed the planet for her. I could imagine thetaste…Thirst burned through my throat like fire. My mouth was baked and desiccated.
The fresh flow of venom6 did nothing to dispel7 that sensation. My stomach twisted withthe hunger that was an echo of the thirst. My muscles coiled to spring.
Not a full second had passed. She was still taking the same step that had put herdownwind from me.
As her foot touched the ground, her eyes slid toward me, a movement she clearlymeant to be stealthy. Her glance met mine, and I saw myself reflected in the wide mirrorof her eyes.
The shock of the face I saw there saved her life for a few thorny8 moments.
She didn’t make it easier. When she processed the expression on my face, bloodflooded her cheeks again, turning her skin the most delicious color I’d ever seen. Thescent was a thick haze9 in my brain. I could barely think through it. My thoughts raged,resisting control, incoherent.
She walked more quickly now, as if she understood the need to escape. Her hastemade her clumsy—she tripped and stumbled forward, almost falling into the girl seated infront of me. Vulnerable, weak. Even more than usual for a human.
I tried to focus on the face I’d seen in her eyes, a face I recognized with revulsion.
The face of the monster in me—the face I’d beaten back with decades of effort anduncompromising discipline. How easily it sprang to the surface now!
The scent swirled10 around me again, scattering11 my thoughts and nearly propellingme out of my seat.
No.
My hand gripped under the edge of the table as I tried to hold myself in my chair.
The wood was not up to the task. My hand crushed through the strut12 and came away witha palmful of splintered pulp13, leaving the shape of my fingers carved into the remainingwood.
Destroy evidence. That was a fundamental rule. I quickly pulverized14 the edges ofthe shape with my fingertips, leaving nothing but a ragged15 hole and a pile of shavings onthe floor, which I scattered16 with my foot.
Destroy evidence. Collateral damage….
I knew what had to happen now. The girl would have to come sit beside me, andI would have to kill her.
The innocent bystanders in this classroom, eighteen other children and one man,could not be allowed to leave this room, having seen what they would soon see.
I flinched17 at the thought of what I must do. Even at my very worst, I had nevercommitted this kind of atrocity18. I had never killed innocents, not in over eight decades.
And now I planned to slaughter19 twenty of them at once.
The face of the monster in the mirror mocked me.
Even as part of me shuddered20 away from the monster, another part was planningit.
If I killed the girl first, I would have only fifteen or twenty seconds with herbefore the humans in the room would react. Maybe a little bit longer, if at first they didnot realize what I was doing. She would not have time to scream or feel pain; I wouldnot kill her cruelly. That much I could give this stranger with her horribly desirableblood.
But then I would have to stop them from escaping. I wouldn’t have to worryabout the windows, too high up and small to provide an escape for anyone. Just thedoor—block that and they were trapped.
It would be slower and more difficult, trying to take them all down when theywere panicked and scrambling21, moving in chaos22. Not impossible, but there would bemuch more noise. Time for lots of screaming. Someone would hear…and I’d be forcedto kill even more innocents in this black hour.
And her blood would cool, while I murdered the others.
The scent punished me, closing my throat with dry aching…So the witnesses first then.
I mapped it out in my head. I was in the middle of the room, the furthest row inthe back. I would take my right side first. I could snap four or five of their necks persecond, I estimated. It would not be noisy. The right side would be the lucky side; theywould not see me coming. Moving around the front and back up the left side, it wouldtake me, at most, five seconds to end every life in this room.
Long enough for Bella Swan to see, briefly23, what was coming for her. Longenough for her to feel fear. Long enough, maybe, if shock didn’t freeze her in place, forher to work up a scream. One soft scream that would not bring anyone running.
I took a deep breath, and the scent was a fire that raced through my dry veins,burning out from my chest to consume every better impulse that I was capable of.
She was just turning now. In a few seconds, she would sit down inches awayfrom me.
The monster in my head smiled in anticipation24.
Someone slammed shut a folder25 on my left. I didn’t look up to see which of thedoomed humans it was. But the motion sent a wave of ordinary, unscented air waftingacross my face.
For one short second, I was able to think clearly. In that precious second, I sawtwo faces in my head, side by side.
One was mine, or rather had been: the red-eyed monster that had killed so manypeople that I’d stop counting their numbers. Rationalized, justified26 murders. A killer27 ofkillers, a killer of other, less powerful monsters. It was a god complex, I acknowledgedthat—deciding who deserved a death sentence. It was a compromise with myself. I hadfed on human blood, but only by the loosest definition. My victims were, in their variousdark pastimes, barely more human than I was.
The other face was Carlisle’s.
There was no resemblance between the two faces. They were bright day andblackest night.
There was no reason for there to be a resemblance. Carlisle was not my father inthe basic biological sense. We shared no common features. The similarity in our coloring was a product of what we were; every vampire had the same ice pale skin. Thesimilarity in the color of our eyes was another matter—a reflection of a mutual28 choice.
And yet, though there was no basis for a resemblance, I’d imagined that my facehad begun to reflect his, to an extent, in the last seventy-odd years that I had embracedhis choice and followed in his steps. My features had not changed, but it seemed to melike some of his wisdom had marked my expression, that a little of his compassion29 couldbe traced in the shape of my mouth, and hints of his patience were evident on my brow.
All those tiny improvements were lost in the face of the monster. In a fewmoments, there would be nothing left in me that would reflect the years I’d spent with mycreator, my mentor30, my father in all the ways that counted. My eyes would glow red as adevil’s; all likeness31 would be lost forever.
In my head, Carlisle’s kind eyes did not judge me. I knew that he would forgiveme for this horrible act that I would do. Because he loved me. Because he thought I wasbetter than I was. And he would still love me, even as I now proved him wrong.
Bella Swan sat down in the chair next to me, her movements stiff and awkward—with fear?—and the scent of her blood bloomed in an inexorable cloud around me.
I would prove my father wrong about me. The misery32 of this fact hurt almost asmuch as the fire in my throat.
I leaned away from her in revulsion—revolted by the monster aching to take her.
Why did she have to come here? Why did she have to exist? Why did she haveto ruin the little peace I had in this non-life of mine? Why had this aggravating33 humanever been born? She would ruin me.
I turned my face away from her, as a sudden fierce, unreasoning hatred34 washedthrough me.
Who was this creature? Why me, why now? Why did I have to lose everythingjust because she happened to choose this unlikely town to appear in?
Why had she come here!
I didn’t want to be the monster! I didn’t want to kill this room full of harmlesschildren! I didn’t want to lose everything I’d gained in a lifetime of sacrifice and denial!
I wouldn’t. She couldn’t make me.
The scent was the problem, the hideously35 appealing scent of her blood. If therewas only some way to resist…if only another gust36 of fresh air could clear my head.
Bella Swan shook out her long, thick, mahogany hair in my direction.
Was she insane? It was as if she were encouraging the monster! Taunting38 him.
There was no friendly breeze to blow the smell away from me now. All wouldsoon be lost.
No, there was no helpful breeze. But I didn’t have to breathe.
I stopped the flow of air through my lungs; the relief was instantaneous, butincomplete. I still had the memory of the scent in my head, the taste of it on the back ofmy tongue. I wouldn’t be able to resist even that for long. But perhaps I could resist foran hour. One hour. Just enough time to get out of this room full of victims, victims thatmaybe didn’t have to be victims. If I could resist for one short hour.
It was an uncomfortable feeling, not breathing. My body did not need oxygen,but it went against my instincts. I relied on scent more than my other senses in times ofstress. It led the way in the hunt, it was the first warning in case of danger. I did notoften came across something as dangerous as I was, but self-preservation was just asstrong in my kind as it was in the average human.
Uncomfortable, but manageable. More bearable than smelling her and notsinking my teeth through that fine, thin, see-through skin to the hot, wet, pulsing—An hour! Just one hour. I must not think of the scent, the taste.
The silent girl kept her hair between us, leaning forward so that it spilled acrossher folder. I couldn’t see her face, to try to read the emotions in her clear, deep eyes.
Was this why she’d let her tresses fan out between us? To hide those eyes from me? Outof fear? Shyness? To keep her secrets from me?
My former irritation39 at being stymied40 by her soundless thoughts was weak andpale in comparison to the need—and the hate—that possessed41 me now. For I hated thisfrail woman-child beside me, hated her with all the fervor42 with which I clung to myformer self, my love of my family, my dreams of being something better than what Iwas… Hating her, hating how she made me feel—it helped a little. Yes, the irritation I’dfelt before was weak, but it, too, helped a little. I clung to any emotion that distracted mefrom imagining what she would taste like… Hate and irritation. Impatience43. Would the hour never pass?
And when the hour ended… Then she would walk out of this room. And I woulddo what?
I could introduce myself. Hello, my name is Edward Cullen. May I walk you toyour next class?
She would say yes. It would be the polite thing to do. Even already fearing me,as I suspected she did, she would follow convention and walk beside me. It should beeasy enough to lead her in the wrong direction. A spur of the forest reached out like afinger to touch the back corner of the parking lot. I could tell her I’d forgotten a book inmy car…Would anyone notice that I was the last person she’d been seen with? It wasraining, as usual; two dark raincoats heading the wrong direction wouldn’t pique44 toomuch interest, or give me away.
Except that I was not the only student who was aware of her today—though noone was as blisteringly aware as I was. Mike Newton, in particular, was conscious ofevery shift in her weight as she fidgeted in her chair—she was uncomfortable so close tome, just as anyone would be, just as I’d expected before her scent had destroyed allcharitable concern. Mike Newton would notice if she left the classroom with me.
If I could last an hour, could I last two?
I flinched at the pain of the burning.
She would go home to an empty house. Police Chief Swan worked a full day. Iknew his house, as I knew every house in the tiny town. His home was nestled right upagainst thick woods, with no close neighbors. Even if she had time to scream, which shewould not, there would be no one to hear.
That would be the responsible way to deal with this. I’d gone seven decadeswithout human blood. If I held my breath, I could last two hours. And when I had heralone, there would be no chance of anyone else getting hurt. And no reason to rushthrough the experience, the monster in my head agreed.
It was sophistry45 to think that by saving the nineteen humans in this room witheffort and patience, I would be less a monster when I killed this innocent girl.
Though I hated her, I knew my hatred was unjust. I knew that what I really hatedwas myself. And I would hate us both so much more when she was dead.
I made it through the hour in this way—imagining the best ways to kill her. Itried to avoid imagining the actual act. That might be too much for me; I might lose thisbattle and end up killing46 everyone in sight. So I planned strategy, and nothing more. Itcarried me through the hour.
Once, toward the very end, she peeked47 up at me through the fluid wall of her hair.
I could feel the unjustified hatred burning out of me as I met her gaze—see the reflectionof it in her frightened eyes. Blood painted her cheek before she could hide in her hairagain, and I was nearly undone48.
But the bell rang. Saved by the bell—how cliché. We were both saved. She,saved from death. I, saved for just a short time from being the nightmarish creature Ifeared and loathed49.
I couldn’t walk as slowly as I should as I darted50 from the room. If anyone hadbeen looking at me, they might have suspected that there was something not right aboutthe way I moved. No one was paying attention to me. All human thoughts still swirledaround the girl who was condemned51 to die in little more than an hour’s time.
I hid in my car.
I didn’t like to think of myself having to hide. How cowardly that sounded. Butit was unquestionably the case now.
I didn’t have enough discipline left to be around humans now. Focusing so muchof my efforts on not killing one of them left me no resources to resist the others. What awaste that would be. If I were to give in to the monster, I might as well make it worth thedefeat.
I played a CD of music that usually calmed me, but it did little for me now. No,what helped most now was the cool, wet, clean air that drifted with the light rain throughmy open windows. Though I could remember the scent of Bella Swan’s blood withperfect clarity, inhaling52 the clean air was like washing out the inside of my body from itsinfection.
I was sane37 again. I could think again. And I could fight again. I could fightagainst what I didn’t want to be.
I didn’t have to go to her home. I didn’t have to kill her. Obviously, I was arational, thinking creature, and I had a choice. There was always a choice.
It hadn’t felt that way in the classroom…but I was away from her now. Perhaps,if I avoided her very, very carefully, there was no need for my life to change. I hadthings ordered the way I liked them now. Why should I let some aggravating anddelicious nobody ruin that?
I didn’t have to disappoint my father. I didn’t have to cause my mother stress,worry…pain. Yes, it would hurt my adopted mother, too. And Esme was so gentle, sotender and soft. Causing someone like Esme pain was truly inexcusable.
How ironic53 that I’d wanted to protect this human girl from the paltry54, toothlessthreat of Jessica Stanley’s snide thoughts. I was the last person who would ever stand asa protector for Isabella Swan. She would never need protection from anything more thanshe needed it from me.
Where was Alice, I suddenly wondered? Hadn’t she seen me killing the Swangirl in a multitude of ways? Why hadn’t she come to help—to stop me or help me cleanup the evidence, whichever? Was she so absorbed with watching for trouble with Jasperthat she’d missed this much more horrific possibility? Was I stronger than I thought?
Would I really not have done anything to the girl?
No. I knew that wasn’t true. Alice must be concentrating on Jasper very hard.
I searched in the direction I knew she would be, in the small building used forEnglish classes. It did not take me long to locate her familiar ‘voice.’ And I was right.
Her every thought was turned to Jasper, watching his small choices with minute scrutiny55.
I wished I could ask her advice, but at the same time, I was glad she didn’t knowwhat I was capable of. That she was unaware56 of the massacre57 I had considered in the lasthour.
I felt a new burn through my body—the burn of shame. I didn’t want any of themto know.
If I could avoid Bella Swan, if I could manage not to kill her—even as I thoughtthat, the monster writhed58 and gnashed his teeth in frustration—then no one would have toknow. If I could keep away from her scent… There was no reason why I shouldn’t try, at least. Make a good choice. Try to bewhat Carlisle thought I was.
The last hour of school was almost over. I decided59 to put my new plan into actionat once. Better than sitting here in the parking lot where she might pass me and ruin myattempt. Again, I felt the unjust hatred for the girl. I hated that she had this unconsciouspower over me. That she could make me be something I reviled60.
I walked swiftly—a little too swiftly, but there were no witnesses—across the tinycampus to the office. There was no reason for Bella Swan to cross paths with me. Shewould be avoided like the plague she was.
The office was empty except for the secretary, the one I wanted to see.
She didn’t notice my silent entrance.
“Mrs. Cope?”
The woman with the unnaturally61 red hair looked up and her eyes widened. Italways caught them off guard, the little markers they didn’t understand, no matter howmany times they’d seen one of us before.
“Oh,” she gasped62, a little flustered63. She smoothed her shirt. Silly, she thought toherself. He’s almost young enough to be my son. Too young to think of that way…“Hello, Edward. What can I do for you?” Her eyelashes fluttered behind her thickglasses.
Uncomfortable. But I knew how to be charming when I wanted to be. It waseasy, since I was able to know instantly how any tone or gesture was taken.
I leaned forward, meeting her gaze as if I were staring deeply into her depthless,small brown eyes. Her thoughts were already in a flutter. This should be simple.
“I was wondering if you could help me with my schedule,” I said in the soft voiceI reserved for not scaring humans.
I heard the tempo64 of her heart increase.
“Of course, Edward. How can I help?” Too young, too young, she chanted toherself. Wrong, of course. I was older than her grandfather. But according to mydriver’s license65, she was right.
“I was wondering if I could move from my biology class to a senior level science?
Physics, perhaps?”
“It there a problem with Mr. Banner, Edward?”
“Not at all, it’s just that I’ve already studied this material…”
“In that accelerated school you all went to in Alaska, right.” Her thin lips pursedas she considered this. They should all be in college. I’ve heard the teachers complain.
Perfect four point ohs, never a hesitation66 with a response, never a wrong answer on atest—like they’ve found some way to cheat in every subject. Mr. Varner would ratherbelieve that anyone was cheating than think a student was smarter than him… I’ll bettheir mother tutors them… “Actually, Edward, physics is pretty much full right now.
Mr. Banner hates to have more than twenty-five students in a class—”
“I wouldn’t be any trouble.”
Of course not. Not a perfect Cullen. “I know that, Edward. But there just aren’tenough seats as it is…”
“Could I drop the class, then? I could use the period for independent study.”
“Drop biology?” He mouth fell open. That’s crazy. How hard is it to sit througha subject you already know? There must be a problem with Mr. Banner. I wonder if Ishould talk to Bob about it? “You won’t have enough credits to graduate.”
“I’ll catch up next year.”
“Maybe you should talk to your parents about that.”
The door opened behind me, but who ever it was did not think of me, so I ignoredthe arrival and concentrated on Mrs. Cope. I leaned slightly closer, and held my eyes alittle wider. This would work better if they were gold instead of black. The blacknessfrightened people, as it should.
“Please, Mrs. Cope?” I made my voice as smooth and compelling as it could be—and it could be considerably67 compelling. “Isn’t there some other section I could switchto? I’m sure there has to be an open slot somewhere? Sixth hour biology can’t be theonly option…”
I smiled at her, careful not to flash my teeth so widely that it would scare her,letting the expression soften68 my face.
Her heart drummed faster. Too young, she reminded herself frantically69. “Well,maybe I could talk to Bob—I mean Mr. Banner. I could see if—”
A second was all it took to change everything: the atmosphere in the room, mymission here, the reason I leaned toward the red-haired woman… What had been for onepurpose before was now for another.
A second was all it took for Samantha Wells to open the door and place a signedtardy slip in the basket by the door, and hurry out again, in a rush to be away from school.
A second was all it took for the sudden gust of wind through the open door to crash intome. A second was all it took for me to realize why that first person through the door hadnot interrupted me with her thoughts.
I turned, though I did not need to make sure. I turned slowly, fighting to controlthe muscles that rebelled against me.
Bella Swan stood with her back pressed to the wall beside the door, a piece ofpaper clutched in her hands. Her eyes were even wider than usual as she took in myferocious, inhuman70 glare.
The smell of her blood saturated71 every particle of air in the tiny, hot room. Mythroat burst into flames.
The monster glared back at me from the mirror of her eyes again, a mask of evil.
My hand hesitated in the air above the counter. I would not have to look back inorder to reach across it and slam Mrs. Cope’s head into her desk with enough force to killher. Two lives, rather than twenty. A trade.
The monster waited anxiously, hungrily, for me to do it.
But there was always a choice—there had to be.
I cut off the motion of my lungs, and fixed72 Carlisle’s face in front of my eyes. Iturned back to face Mrs. Cope, and heard her internal surprise at the change in myexpression. She shrank away from me, but her fear did not form into coherent words.
Using all the control I’d mastered in my decades of self-denial, I made my voiceeven and smooth. There was just enough air left in my lungs to speak once more, rushingthrough the words.
“Nevermind, then. I can see that it’s impossible. Thank you so much for yourhelp.”
I spun73 and launched myself from the room, trying not to feel the warm-bloodedheat of the girl’s body as I passed within inches of it.
I didn’t stop until I was in my car, moving too fast the entire way there. Most ofthe humans had cleared out already, so there weren’t a lot of witnesses. I heard asophomore, D.J. Garrett, notice, and then disregard…Where did Cullen come from—it was like he just came out of thin air… There Igo, with the imagination again. Mom always says…When I slid into my Volvo, the others were already there. I tried to control mybreathing, but I was gasping74 at the fresh air like I’d been suffocated75.
“Edward?” Alice asked, alarm in her voice.
I just shook my head at her.
“What the hell happened to you?” Emmett demanded, distracted, for the moment,from the fact that Jasper was not in the mood for his rematch.
Instead of answering, I threw the car into reverse. I had to get out of this lotbefore Bella Swan could follow me here, too. My own person demon76, haunting me… Iswung the car around and accelerated. I hit forty before I was on the road. On the road, Ihit seventy before I made the corner.
Without looking, I knew that Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had all turned to stare atAlice. She shrugged77. She couldn’t see what had passed, only what was coming.
She looked ahead for me now. We both processed what she saw in her head, andwe were both surprised.
“You’re leaving?” she whispered.
The others stared at me now.
“Am I?” I hissed78 through my teeth.
She saw it then, as my resolve wavered and another choice spun my future in adarker direction.
“Oh.”
Bella Swan, dead. My eyes, glowing crimson79 with fresh blood. The search thatwould follow. The careful time we would wait before it was safe for us to pull out andstart again…“Oh,” she said again. The picture grew more specific. I saw the inside of ChiefSwan’s house for the first time, saw Bella in a small kitchen with the yellow cupboards,her back to me as I stalked her from the shadows…let the scent pull me toward her… “Stop!” I groaned80, not able to bear more.
“Sorry,” she whispered, her eyes wide.
The monster rejoiced.
And the vision in her head shifted again. An empty highway at night, the treesbeside it coated in snow, flashing by at almost two hundred miles per hour.
“I’ll miss you,” she said. “No matter how short a time you’re gone.”
Emmett and Rosalie exchanged an apprehensive81 glance.
We were almost to the turn off onto the long drive that led to our home.
“Drop us here,” Alice instructed. “You should tell Carlisle yourself.”
I nodded, and the car squealed82 to a sudden stop.
Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper got out in silence; they would make Alice explainwhen I was gone. Alice touched my shoulder.
“You will do the right thing,” she murmured. Not a vision this time—an order.
“She’s Charlie Swan’s only family. It would kill him, too.”
“Yes,” I said, agreeing only with the last part.
She slid out to join the others, her eyebrows83 pulling together in anxiety. Theymelted into woods, out of sight before I could turn the car around.
I accelerated back toward town, and I knew the visions in Alice’s head would beflashing from dark to bright like a strobe light. As I sped back to Forks doing ninety, Iwasn’t sure where I was going. To say goodbye to my father? Or to embrace themonster inside me? The road flew away beneath my tires.
我是一个吸血鬼，而她的血是我这八十年来闻到过的最甜美的。
我从未想过会有这种香气存在。如果我知道的话，我会在很久以前就开始寻找她。我会为她搜遍整个地球。我能想像它的味道……干渴自我的喉咙升起，就像一团火。我的嘴巴快被烤焦了。我的胃因干渴而变得异常饥饿。
我的肌肉鼓起。
一秒钟还没有过去，她还是踩着同样的步伐顺着风向朝我走来。
当她走过来时，她的眼睛瞟向我，悄悄地看了我一眼。她接触到我的视线，她那双大眼睛如明镜一般映射出我的样子。
这张脸使我震惊，也让她多活了一些时候。
她没有让事态缓和。当她看到我脸上的表情时，血色再一次涌上她的脸颊，使她的肌肤转变为一种最可口的颜色。她的香气像浓雾一样笼罩着我的大脑。我几乎无法思考。我的大脑在狂怒，在反抗理智的约束，我已经晕头转向了。
她现在走得更快了一点，好像意识到需要躲避什么似的，她的匆忙让她变得笨手笨脚的——她被什么东西绊倒了，几乎撞到坐在我前面的女孩身上。容易受伤，脆弱，对人类来说再普通不过了。
我竭力将注意力集中在她眼中那张脸孔上，那张令我强烈反感的脸孔。那张我体内的魔鬼的脸孔——我用几十年的努力和坚定的锻炼来将它击垮。现在竟然那么容易就浮出水面！
那股香气再度包围着我。它分散了我的想法，几乎将我推出座位。
不。
我的手紧紧地抓住桌子边缘，竭力想把自己稳在座位上。木头没有起到什么作用。我的手已经揉进支柱里，带出满满一捧碎木屑，剩下的木头留下了我手指的形状。
消灭证据。这是一个最基本的法则。我迅速将留下我手指形状的木头弄碎，让它仅留下一个凹凸不平的小洞，让木屑洒在地板上，用脚踩碎。
消灭证据。间接杀害……我知道接下来将发生什么。那女孩会过来坐到我身旁，而我将杀死她。
而教室里那些无辜的人，十八个孩子和一个男人，当他们看到即将发生的这一切时，将不能活着离开这里。
一想到我即将要做的事情，我畏缩了。即使在最恶劣的情况下，我也从来没有允许过这样的暴行。在过去八十年里，我从来没有杀过一个无辜的人。而我现在正计划着要一下子屠杀二十个。
镜中魔鬼的脸孔在嘲弄我。
我体内的一部分颤抖着远离那个魔鬼，然而另一部分却在冷静地谋划着。
如果我先把这女孩干掉，我只有十五到二十秒钟的时间这么做，直到这房间里的人反应过来。
或者时间能更长一点，如果一开始他们没有意识到我在干什么的话。她应该没有时间尖叫或感到痛苦，我不会残忍地杀死她。看在她那令人发疯的血的份上，我能施舍给这个陌生女孩的慈悲就只有这么多了。
然后我必须阻止他们逃跑。我用不着担心那些窗户，它们太高太小了，他们无法从那里逃脱。
只有那扇门——堵住它，就能把他们都困住。
当他们开始因恐慌而尖叫，四散逃亡时，要把他们全部干掉会变得缓慢、困难。虽然不太可能，不过还是会有响声。这么多尖叫声，一定会被听见的……那么我将不得不杀死更多无辜的人。
当我在谋杀其他人的时候，她的血早就变冷了。
那么就先从目击者开始。
我在脑子里筹划着。我坐在教室的正中间，后面最远的一行。我可以先从我的左边开始。我估计，我可以在一秒钟内拧断四到五个人的脖子。那不会很吵。左边的人是幸运的，他们不会看到我接近。再前后移动，来到右边，这最多花费我五秒钟的时间就能结束这房间里的所有生命。
这么长的时间，足以令贝拉?斯旺明白，即将发生在她身上的事。足以令她感到恐惧。让她吓得僵在座位上，叫不出声来。一个微弱的尖叫不足以让她逃跑。
我深深地吸了口气。香味就像一团火焰迅速掠过我干渴的身体，从我胸膛焚烧，销毁一切我凭冲动想到的念头。
她这会儿正在拐弯处，在几秒钟内，她将紧挨着我坐下。
我脑子里的魔鬼正满怀期待地冲我微笑。
我右边的某个人砰地合上文件夹。我没有去看是哪一个在劫难逃的人。但是这个举动带来一阵风，一股普通的，不带香气的气流，吹过我的脸。
在这极其短暂的一秒钟内，我能够思考了。在这弥足珍贵的一秒钟里，我看到在我脑海中并排出现的两张脸。
一张是我的脸孔，确切地说是过去那个我的：一个曾经杀人无数的红眼睛的魔鬼。为杀人寻找正当理由。一个杀害凶手的杀人魔，一个杀害其他那些更弱一点的魔鬼的魔鬼。这是上帝的旨意，我这样欺骗自己——决定谁应该接受死亡判决。这是一种自我妥协。我以吸食人类的鲜血为生，我的受害者们，就他们各种各样的邪恶过往来看，并不比我更像一个人。
另一张是卡莱尔的脸。
这两张脸毫无相似之处。恍若白天和黑夜。
它们也没有理由相似。从血缘上说，卡莱尔并不是我的生父。我们长得一点儿也不像。我们相似的肤色仅仅因为我们是同类，每个吸血鬼都有着冰冷而苍白的皮肤。我们相同颜色的眼睛是另外一个结果——一个共同的选择的映射。
尽管我们并没有相似的基础，我曾想像自己的脸庞在某种程度上映射出他的脸，在过去的七十余年里，我一直信奉他的选择，紧随他的脚步。我的相貌并没有改变，不过我似乎有那么一点点像他了，他的智慧似乎有那么一丁点儿呈现在我的表情上，他的怜悯之心能在我的嘴角发现，他的坚忍清晰地镌刻在我的眉宇之间。
在这张魔鬼的脸孔面前，所有细微的改善都丢失殆尽。就在短短的一瞬间，这一切都将消失殆尽，我在过去几十年里同我的创造者，我的良师，我的父亲所做的一切努力，都将付之东流。我的眼睛会变得血红，就像一个恶魔，所有的相似之处将永远丢失。
在我的脑子里，卡莱尔善良的眼睛并没有审判我。我知道他会原谅我，即使在我做下这种可怕的事后。因为他爱我。因为他认为我会比原来更好。他会仍然爱我的，即使我证明他的看法是错的。
贝拉?斯旺在我旁边坐下，她的动作僵硬而笨拙——她在害怕吗？——她血液里散发出来的香气像不可阻挡的云一样笼罩着我。
我将证明父亲对我的看法是错误的，这一事实所带来的痛苦，几乎和我喉咙里燃烧的火焰一样强烈。
我带着强烈的反感远离她——反抗体内渴求着她的魔鬼。
为什么她要到这儿来？为什么她要存在？为什么她要毁掉我人生中仅有的一点点的平和？为什么这样的人会被生下来？她会毁了我。
我转过脸去背对她，一股突如其来的，强烈的，非理性的憎恨袭遍我全身。
为什么是我，为什么是现在？为什么我不得不失去所有的一切，仅仅是因为她恰好选择出现在这个不幸的小镇上？
为什么她要到这儿来？
我不想成为魔鬼！我不想杀掉这房间里所有手无寸铁的孩子！我不想失去我用牺牲和否定换来的一切。
我不能这么做。她不能让我这么做。
那股香气是一道难题，她血液所散发的香气，诱人到令人恐惧。如果这里有什么办法抵挡……如果能再刮来一阵巨风，让新鲜空气使我脑子清醒过来。
贝拉?斯旺把她那头长长的，浓密的，红褐色的头发朝我那边晃了晃。
她疯了吗？她这么做简直就像是在鼓动那个魔鬼！在嘲弄他！
这会儿并没有什么好心肠的风帮我将那股香气吹散。很快一切即将失控。
不，这里没有风帮忙。不过我可以停止呼吸。
我阻止空气流进我的肺部，痛苦暂时得到了缓解，不过还不完全。我的脑子里还留有她香气的记忆，我的舌根还残留着那股味道。我坚持不了多久。不过也许可以坚持一小时。一小时，这段时间足以让这些受害者全部离开房间，那么也许他们就用不着死。如果我能坚持短短的一个小时。
不呼吸，会让人感到不舒服。我的身体不需要氧气，但这么做违背了我的本能。在我感觉到压力时，我依赖嗅觉更甚于我的其他感官。我在捕猎的时候就是这么做的，万一遇到危险，嗅觉能最先向我提出警告。我很少遇到像我一样危险的生物，不过我们族类的自我保护本能就像一般人类那样强大。
不舒服，但还能办得到。我可以忍住不去呼吸她的香气，不让我的毒牙穿过那纤细、单薄、半透明的肌肤，咬进那炽热的、潮湿的、脉动的——一个小时，仅仅是一个小时，我不能去想她的香气，她的味道……这个安静的女孩把她的头发垂落在我们中间，她的身子向前倾，这样她披散开来的头发就垂落到了文件夹上。我看不见她的脸，无法从她清澈、深邃的眼睛里读出她的情绪。她为什么 要用这种方式隔开我们？为了阻挡我的目光吗？是害怕？是害羞？还是想对我隐藏她的秘密？
相比之下，她沉默的思想带给我的恼怒已经变得微乎其微了——憎恨——现在正蔓延我的全身。因为我恨这个坐在我身旁的小女孩，我强烈地憎恨着她，带着那个对从前的我，对我家人的爱，带着我希望能够变得更好的梦想。憎恨她，恨她带给我的一切——这多少有点帮助。
我之前的恼怒已经变得微弱了，不过，也有一点帮助。我紧抓住任何能够制止我的感情，阻止我去想像她品尝起来会是怎样的滋味……憎恨，恼怒，焦躁。这一个小时是不是永远都不会过去了？
当这一小时过去后，她将走出课室，我该怎么做？
我可以介绍我自己。（你好，我叫爱德华?卡伦，我可以送你去上下一节课吗？）出于礼貌，她将会答应。尽管我猜我已经吓到她了，不过出于一般礼节，她还是会跟我走的。
把她带到一个错误的方向是很容易办到的。停车场的后面就是一片郁郁葱葱的森林。我可以告诉她我把一本书忘在车里了……有人会留意到我是最后一个跟她在一起的人吗？像往常一样，现在正下着雨，两道走向错误方向的穿黑色雨衣的身影并不会引起人们的注意，但或者我会被告发。
我并不是今天唯一一个留意她的学生——虽然没有人像我这样狂热地在意。特别是麦克?牛顿，当她在座位上坐立不安时，他正密切留意着她的一举一动——和我在一起让她感到不舒服，就像其他人一样，就像我本来预期的那样，直到她的香气将我所有的仁慈摧毁。如果我和她一起离开课室，麦克?牛顿会留意到的。
如果我能够经受住一个小时，那么两个小时呢？
那烧灼全身的痛苦让我畏缩。
她将回到那个空无一人的家。斯旺警长会工作一整天。我知道他的房子在哪儿，我知道这个小镇上每一户人家。他的房子紧挨着一片茂密的树林，周围没有邻居。即使她有时间发出尖叫，也没有人会听见。
这是一种最负责任的做法。我已经七十年没有吸过人类的血了。如果我停止呼吸，我可以坚持两个小时。而一旦我和她单独相处，有人一定会受伤害。而且没有理由让这种体验匆匆结束，我脑子里的魔鬼也表示同意。
用努力和忍耐来挽救这房间里的十九条人命的想法只是一种诡辩，如果我只是杀掉这个无辜的女孩，我也许可以不那么像一个魔鬼。
尽管我恨她，可我知道我的仇恨是不公正的。我知道我真正恨的人是我自己。而她死后，这种对我们俩的憎恨会更甚。
我用这种办法熬过这个小时——想像怎么杀她才是最好的。我竭力避免想像真实的行动。这也许已经超过了我的能力所及，我也许将输掉这场战争，最终杀掉视线里的每一个人。所以我计划策略，除此之外，再没有什么可做了。这帮我熬过了那一个小时。
曾经有一次，就在这一小时快要结束的时候，她透过她那瀑布般的长发，偷偷看了我一眼。
当我接触到她的目光时，我能感觉到那股不公正的憎恨焚烧我的身体——看到她那受惊的眼睛里的映像。在她把脸躲进头发后面时，她的脸颊升起了两团粉红的血色，我快要崩溃了。
然而下课铃响了。铃声救了我们——多么及时！我们都获救了。她，从死亡中获救，我也获救了，在短时间内，我不必成为我所恐惧和憎恨的恶梦般的生物。
我冲出课室，我没办法像正常人一样走出去，如果这时碰巧有谁看见我，他们也许会对我异乎寻常的移动方式起疑心。没有人留意我。所有人的思想还在绕着那个女孩，那个在过去一小时里几乎被处死的女孩转。
我躲进我的车里。
我不喜欢躲进车里这个想法。这听起来多么怯懦！然而现在的情况正是如此。
我现在还不能待在人群中。我必须集中全部的努力去避免杀害他们中的那一个，这让我再没有精力去顾及其他人了。那样做有多么浪费啊。如果我打算向魔鬼投降的话，至少我也应该让自己输得值得。
我播放了一张CD，这通常都能让我平静下来，不过现在没什么用。不，我现在最需要的是从车窗外随着细雨飘进来的凉快、潮湿、纯净的空气。尽管我还是能够准确无误地记住贝拉?
斯旺血液的香气，吸入新鲜空气就好像洗刷着我的身体一样，让我能够逃离那香气的影响。
我的理智恢复正常了。我又能思考了。如果我能再度战斗，我将和我不想成为的东西战斗。
我不一定要到她家去。我不一定要杀死她。显然，我是一个有理性、有思想的生物，我可以选择。我们总是可以选择的。
在课室里我不是这么想的……不过现在我离开了她。或许，如果我能非常非常小心地躲开她，我的生活就不需要被改变。我现在喜欢上我之前井然有序的生活了。为什么我要让某个恼人的、美味的小人物毁了它呢？
我不一定要让我的父亲失望。我不一定要让我的母亲紧张、担心、痛苦……是的，这也会伤害我的养母。爱斯梅是那么的温柔、脆弱、善良。让爱斯梅痛苦是不可原谅的。
这是多么荒谬啊，我还想保护这个人类女孩远离杰西卡?史丹利的卑鄙想法。我是最有资格保护伊莎贝拉?斯旺的最后一人。她最需要得到的就是我的保护。
我突然想知道爱丽丝在哪里。她是否预见过我可能会在大庭广众下杀死贝拉?斯旺？为什么她不来帮我——阻止我或者帮我毁尸灭迹？她是不是太过专注于贾斯帕，以致漏掉了这可能发生的更骇人的事？我是不是比我想象的要更坚强？我是不是不会真的对这女孩做什么？
不，我想那不是真的。爱丽丝一定是太过专注于贾斯帕了。
我知道她会在哪儿，我朝她那个方向搜寻，她在那座小楼里上英语课。我没花多少时间就找到了她熟悉的“声音”。我猜对了。她每一个念头都在围着贾斯帕转，检测他在每一分钟里所作的每一个选择。
我希望能得到她的忠告，不过与此同时，我又为此感到高兴，她不知道我刚刚经历的事。她并不知道我在那一个小时里企图策划的一场大屠杀。
一团新的火焰燃烧我的身体——一团羞愧的火焰。我不想他们中任何人知道这件事。
如果我能避开贝拉?斯旺，如果我能够不杀死她——尽管我很想这么做，我体内的魔鬼正因受挫而痛苦扭曲，咬牙切齿——那么就没有人会知道此事。如果我能够远离她的香气。
至少，我没有理由不这么做。作出一个更好的选择。努力成为卡莱尔所期待的那个我。
在学校的最后一个小时快要过去了。我决定将我的计划马上付诸行动。总比呆在停车场好，她可能会经过我身旁，毁掉我的努力。我再次感觉到自己对那女孩的不公正的憎恨。
我走得很快——也许太快了一点，不过这里没人看见——我穿过校园来到办公室。贝拉?斯旺没有理由会在这里和我不期而遇。她应该躲开我，就像躲避瘟疫一样。
办公室里除了秘书外没有别人，我要找的正是她。
她没有留意到我悄悄走进来。
“柯普太太？”
这妇女有一头不自然的红发，她抬起头，睁大了眼睛。一些他们无法了解的细微迹象总是令他们措手不及，不管他们之前从我们那见过多少次……“噢，”她喘了口气，有点慌乱。她抚平她的衬衫。（别傻了，）她在心里自言自语，（他小得够当我儿子了，太小了，实在不该那样想，）“你好，爱德华。有什么事吗？”她的睫毛在厚厚的镜片后紧张地巴眨着。
这令我不自在。不过我知道怎样可以让我变得更有魅力，当我需要它的时候。这很容易，因为我的本能会告诉我怎样的语气和姿势能起作用。
我把身子向前挨过去，和她目光相遇，就好像我正深深地凝视着她那双细小的褐色眼睛。她已经有点心烦意乱了。这太简单了。
“我想知道您是不是可以帮忙看一下我的课程表。”我用一种轻柔的不会惊吓住人们的语气说道。
我听到她正心跳加速。
“当然可以，爱德华。我能帮上什么忙吗？”（太小了，太小了，）她在心里反复念叨，错了，这是当然的。我比她的祖父还老。不过从我的驾驶证来看，她说得没错。
“我想知道我是不是可以把我的生物课调整为一个高年级的科目，比如说物理？”
“班纳先生有什么问题吗，爱德华？”
“不，只是这一科我已经学过了……”
“你在阿拉斯加的学校已经提前学过了，噢，”她舔了舔薄嘴唇，考虑着。（他们都应该去读大学。我听到那些老师抱怨，完美的四分，哦，回答问题时从不犹豫，测验时从来不会给错答案——就好像他们用同样的方法在每一科都作弊似的。瓦纳先生宁愿相信所有人都作弊，也不愿相信有学生会比他聪明。我敢打赌他们的母亲一定为他们请了家教……）“爱德华，实际上，现在物理课差不多都满员了。班纳先生不喜欢一个班里超过二十五个学生——”
“我不会惹麻烦的。”
（当然不会，多么完美无暇的卡伦。）“我知道，爱德华，不过那里实在没有多余的位子了”
“那么，我能不能当掉这科？我可以用其他科目的学分代替。”
“当掉生物？”她张开嘴巴，（这太疯狂了，耐着性子上完你已经学过的科目有那么难吗？班纳先生一定是出了什么问题，我是不是该和鲍勃谈谈这件事？）“这会影响你毕业的。”
“我明年可以补修。”
“也许你该和你父母谈谈。”
我身后的门被推开了，不过在那里的人没有想到我，所以我没有理会那个进来的人，把注意力集中在柯普太太身上。我把身子再往前倾一点，把我的眼睛张得更大一点。如果我的眼睛是金色而非黑色的话，效果会更好。黑色可能会让人们感到害怕。
“求你了，柯普太太。”我尽量让自己的声音平稳，使它更容易被人接受——它应该会被接受。
“还有什么科目是我可以选修的吗？我想一定还有其他空缺。六小时的生物课肯定不是唯一的选择”
我冲她微笑，小心地不让我的牙齿露出来，那只会吓住她，我让我脸部表情变得更柔和。
她的心跳得更快了。（太小了，）她不得不疯狂提醒自己，“好吧，也许我可以和鲍勃谈谈——我是说班纳先生，我可以看看是不是——”
一秒钟，一切都变了：房间里的空气，我到这儿来的任务，我屈身倾向那个红发女人的理由……一秒钟的时间，莎曼纱?韦尔士推开门，将一张纸条放进门边的篮子里，又匆忙离开，急急忙忙走出学校。一秒钟的时间，一股猛烈的风突然从敞开的门外刮进来，吹向我。我花了一秒钟的时间才意识到为什么第一个从门外进来的人没有用他的思想打扰我。
我转过身去，尽管我不需要这样确认。我缓缓地转过身去，极力想控制住反抗我的肌肉。
贝拉?斯旺贴着墙壁站在门边，她手里拿着一张纸。当她接触到我凶残而冰冷的目光时，她的眼睛睁得比平时更大了。
在这个温暖的小房间里，她血液的香气充满了每一个角落。我的喉咙快被火烧着了。
她眼睛里映射出来的魔鬼正愤怒地盯我，带着一副邪恶的面具。
我的手放在长柜台上，犹豫不决。我没有回头看，为的是不让自己伸出手臂，用大得足够杀死她的力气，将柯普太太的脑袋扣在桌子上。与其杀死二十个，倒不如杀死两个，这笔交易很公平。
魔鬼焦躁而饥渴地等待着，等着我这么做……总是可以选择的——一定可以选择。
我迅速切断呼吸，把卡莱尔的脸紧紧固定在我的眼前。我转身面对柯普太太，听到她心里正为我骤然改变的表现惊讶不已。她在我面前瑟缩了，不过她还没有清楚意识到自己的恐惧。
我用尽了我在过去几十年里以自我牺牲换来的自控力，让自己的声音变得更平稳了。我的肺里还留有足够的空气，让我能把话说完，让我挤出这些词语。
“没关系。我看得出这是不可能的了，谢谢你的帮忙。”
我离开那间房子，努力不去感觉那女孩身体里温暖血液的热度。
我不敢停下来，直到我上了车，我实在走得太快了。现在大部分人都已经回家了，所以这里没有什么人。我听到一个二年级学生DJ?加勒特留意到了我，我置之不理。
（卡伦是怎么冒出来的——简直就像凭空出现一样……我又来了，又再胡思乱想了，妈妈总是说……）当我钻进我的沃尔沃时，其他人已经等在那里了。我试图控制我的呼吸，不过我为那新鲜空气感到震惊，就像自己快被闷死一样。
“爱德华？”爱丽丝的声音有点恐慌。
我只能对她摇摇头。
“你怎么啦？”爱美特询问道，这会儿他正烦恼着呢，因为贾斯帕暂时还没有心情跟他再来一次比赛。
我没有回话，将车子掉了个头。我必须在贝拉?斯旺尾随而来之前离开这个地方。我体内的魔鬼还在虎视眈眈，我猛地将车拐了个弯，然后加速。在我开上公路前我把车速加到了四十公里。车子上了公路，我在拐弯的时候把速度加到七十。
不用看，我也知道爱美特、罗莎莉和贾斯帕都把头转向爱丽丝，看着她。她耸耸肩，她看不到已经发生的事情，只能看到即将发生的。
她朝前看向我。我们都在加工她脑子里所见到的景象，我俩都为此感到吃惊。
“你要离开了吗？”她低语。
其余的人现在正盯着我。
“我非走不可吗？”我从牙齿里发出嘘声。
她接着看下去，当我还在犹豫不决时，另一种选择将把我的未来引向一个更黑暗的方向。
“喔！”
贝拉?斯旺，死了。我的眼睛被鲜血染得通红。紧接着将展开搜查。我们必须小心翼翼地等待，直到我们可以从这里安全脱身，再重新开始。
“喔！”她再次说道。画面变得更加清晰了。我最先看见的是斯旺警长家的室内，看见贝拉正在一个有着黄色橱柜的小厨房里，她背对我，而我正从阴暗处偷偷靠近她……香气诱使我靠近她……“停下来！”我呻吟着，再也受不了了。
“对不起。”她低语，张开了眼睛。
魔鬼正欣喜若狂。
她脑子里的图像转变了。夜里一条空荡荡的高速公路上，我的车以接近两百公里的时速经过，两旁的树木被白雪覆盖着，闪烁着银色光芒。
“我会想念你的，”她说，“就算你只是离开一小会儿。”
爱美特和罗莎莉彼此交换了一个会心的目光。
我们快要到达通向我们家的那条长路的拐弯处了。
“在这儿把我们放下吧。”爱丽丝命令我，“你该亲自告诉卡莱尔。”
我点点头，车子发出尖锐的叫声，猛地停住了。
爱美特、罗莎莉和贾斯帕安静地下了车，我走了以后他们会让爱丽丝解释清楚的。爱丽丝拍了拍我的肩膀。
“你会做正确的事。”她嘟哝着。这次不是幻像——是一个叮嘱。“她是斯旺警长唯一的亲人。
那么做也会要他的命的。”
“是的。”我说道，仅仅同意她后面那句话。
她从车里滑出来，和其他人站起一起，她的眉毛因焦虑而卷成一团。他们逐渐融入树林，直到再也看不见了，我才把车掉了个头。
我加快速度驶回小镇，我知道爱丽丝脑中的幻象将从暗变亮，就像闪光灯一样。当我把车速加到九十公里回到福克斯时，我依然不确定自己该去哪里。去和我的父亲说再见？还是拥抱我体内的魔鬼？在我的车轮下，公路延伸向远方。
收听单词发音 |
1
predator
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| n.捕食其它动物的动物；捕食者 | |
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prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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collateral
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| adj.平行的；旁系的；n.担保品 | |
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vampire
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| n.吸血鬼 | |
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scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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venom
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| n.毒液，恶毒，痛恨 | |
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dispel
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| vt.驱走，驱散，消除 | |
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thorny
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| adj.多刺的，棘手的 | |
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haze
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| n.霾，烟雾；懵懂，迷糊；vi.(over)变模糊 | |
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swirled
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| v.旋转，打旋( swirl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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scattering
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| n.[物]散射；散乱，分散；在媒介质中的散播adj.散乱的；分散在不同范围的；广泛扩散的；（选票）数量分散的v.散射(scatter的ing形式)；散布；驱散 | |
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12
strut
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| v.肿胀，鼓起；大摇大摆地走；炫耀；支撑；撑开；n.高视阔步；支柱，撑杆 | |
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pulp
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| n.果肉，纸浆；v.化成纸浆，除去...果肉，制成纸浆 | |
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pulverized
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| adj.[医]雾化的，粉末状的v.将…弄碎( pulverize的过去式和过去分词 )；将…弄成粉末或尘埃；摧毁；粉碎 | |
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ragged
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| adj.衣衫褴褛的，粗糙的，刺耳的 | |
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scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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flinched
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| v.（因危险和痛苦）退缩，畏惧( flinch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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18
atrocity
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| n.残暴，暴行 | |
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slaughter
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| n.屠杀，屠宰；vt.屠杀，宰杀 | |
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shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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21
scrambling
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| v.快速爬行( scramble的现在分词 )；攀登；争夺；（军事飞机）紧急起飞 | |
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chaos
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| n.混乱，无秩序 | |
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briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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24
anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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25
folder
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| n.纸夹，文件夹 | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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killer
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| n.杀人者，杀人犯，杀手，屠杀者 | |
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28
mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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compassion
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| n.同情，怜悯 | |
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mentor
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| n.指导者，良师益友；v.指导 | |
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31
likeness
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| n.相像，相似（之处） | |
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32
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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aggravating
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| adj.恼人的，讨厌的 | |
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34
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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35
hideously
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| adv.可怕地，非常讨厌地 | |
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gust
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| n.阵风，突然一阵（雨、烟等），（感情的）迸发 | |
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sane
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| adj.心智健全的，神志清醒的，明智的，稳健的 | |
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38
taunting
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| 嘲讽( taunt的现在分词 )； 嘲弄； 辱骂； 奚落 | |
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39
irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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40
stymied
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| n.被侵袭的v.妨碍，阻挠( stymie的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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41
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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42
fervor
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| n.热诚；热心；炽热 | |
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43
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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44
pique
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| v.伤害…的自尊心，使生气 n.不满，生气 | |
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45
sophistry
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| n.诡辩 | |
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46
killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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47
peeked
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| v.很快地看( peek的过去式和过去分词 )；偷看；窥视；微露出 | |
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48
undone
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| a.未做完的，未完成的 | |
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49
loathed
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| v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 )；极不喜欢 | |
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50
darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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51
condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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52
inhaling
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| v.吸入( inhale的现在分词 ) | |
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53
ironic
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| adj.讽刺的，有讽刺意味的，出乎意料的 | |
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54
paltry
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| adj.无价值的，微不足道的 | |
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55
scrutiny
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| n.详细检查，仔细观察 | |
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56
unaware
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| a.不知道的，未意识到的 | |
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57
massacre
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| n.残杀，大屠杀；v.残杀，集体屠杀 | |
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58
writhed
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| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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59
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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60
reviled
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| v.辱骂，痛斥( revile的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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61
unnaturally
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| adv.违反习俗地；不自然地；勉强地；不近人情地 | |
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62
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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63
flustered
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| adj.慌张的；激动不安的v.使慌乱，使不安( fluster的过去式和过去分词) | |
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64
tempo
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| n.(音乐的)速度；节奏，行进速度 | |
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65
license
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| n.执照，许可证，特许；v.许可，特许 | |
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66
hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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67
considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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68
soften
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| v.(使)变柔软；(使)变柔和 | |
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69
frantically
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| ad.发狂地, 发疯地 | |
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70
inhuman
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| adj.残忍的，不人道的，无人性的 | |
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71
saturated
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| a.饱和的，充满的 | |
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72
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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73
spun
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| v.纺，杜撰，急转身 | |
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74
gasping
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| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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75
suffocated
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| （使某人）窒息而死( suffocate的过去式和过去分词 )； （将某人）闷死； 让人感觉闷热； 憋气 | |
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76
demon
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| n.魔鬼，恶魔 | |
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77
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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78
hissed
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| 发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 )； 发嘘声表示反对 | |
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79
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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80
groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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81
apprehensive
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| adj.担心的，恐惧的，善于领会的 | |
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82
squealed
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| v.长声尖叫，用长而尖锐的声音说( squeal的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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83
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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