RICHARD FEVEREL.
WITH the best intentions in the world Francis could not overcome the inevitable2 dislike with which Frederic’s mere3 presence inspired him. He could not bring himself to speak more than three words to him or to make any inquiry4 into his affairs. Frederic also suffered under the constraint5 of the secret they shared, and relieved the situation by absenting himself as much as possible from the house. His fiancée made that easy by her extensive demands upon his time and he became more a member of her family than of his own.
Francis kept his word with Annie Lipsett, and every week sent her ten shillings, and, knowing that his wife opened his letters, got her to write, when she had anything to say, to Serge. His conscience was very uneasy about the whole affair, but he knew that if he did not do what he was doing no one else would, and he could not bring himself to righteous acceptance of the conclusions of his premises6, that, after all, the girl had brought it on herself, and, like hundreds of others, must fight through the consequences alone and unaided.
“If I knew the hundreds of others,” he said to himself, “I could not possibly help them all. I could not afford it. . . . Can I afford to help this young woman? . . . I cannot, but I must.”
He submitted to this moral imperative7, but he could not away with the idea that he was encouraging immorality8. That idea became fixed9, an obsession10. It worried him so much that he decided11 to go and see the young woman and [Pg 219]make quite sure as to the state of her mind, to demonstrate if necessary that though things were being made comfortable and easy for her in this world she could not hope to escape the punishment for her sin in the next.
Accordingly one Saturday he resolved to take the ten shillings himself instead of sending them by post. Annie Lipsett was staying in a farm labourer’s cottage near a village some fifteen miles away to the south. It was a keen autumn day when Francis walked along the lanes between hedges aflame with hips12 and haws and red blackberry leaves, and green with holly13 berries, and he asked himself why he did not devote every Saturday afternoon to a walk in the country. The cold air filled his lungs and the wind blew in his beard and brought the colour to his round cheeks. The trees were burning with colour, the sun shone scarcely warm through the soft mist that lay over the country-side. . . . Decidedly, he must often take such walks and bring Annette. How she would love the orchards14, glowing with red apples and plums, and yellow with pears, and the cows and the green fields and the little rivers. Annette would love them all. They would make a habit of it, every Saturday, and they would see all the seasons come and live and pass.
As he approached the cottage where Annie Lipsett was staying he felt less interested in the state of her mind and more concerned to see herself and discover how she was keeping in health. Health, he thought, was most important, perhaps more important than anything else. “Grant us in health and wealth long to live.” He recited the words aloud, and his mind commented that wealth meant well-being16, not a fine house and raiment and a substantial account at the bankers. That struck him with all the force of an original discovery, and he began to think that his life was not perhaps such a complete failure as he had grown used to thinking it. His arrival at the gate of the cottage cut short his speculations17, and he wrenched18 himself back to the problem immediately before him, the bringing of this sinful soul to repentance19. Yes; he must make her see that her sins would only be forgiven her on condition of full repentance. He felt fully20 convinced of [Pg 220]it in that moment, and did his best to make himself feel miserable21 in spite of the invitation to happiness extended to him by the little grass path leading up to the door of the white cottage, and the Michaelmas daisies and autumn lilies and purple asters growing in the borders and the heavily laden22 fruit trees in the tiny orchard15.
He walked up the grass path and knocked at the low oaken door. In the house he heard a bustling23 and a rustling24, and presently the door was opened to him by the woman of the house. She was enormously fat, red-faced and comely25. She said:
“Tha can coom in. Annie be oot in’t fields gatherin’ noots. Tha’ll be Mr. Folyat. Tha’s a gradely mon. Coom in.”
Francis followed her into the little low oak-beamed room, spick and span and clean as a new pin. There was a picture of Queen Victoria on the walls, five texts, and a grocer’s almanac, horribly reproducing in oleographic colour a pre-Raphaelite picture of Christ knocking at a door. The woman, Mrs. Entwistle, brewed26 a pot of tea and chattered27:
“She be that well, tha’d think she were going to make no more fuss than a beast. Eeh! The way t’ bloom ’ave coom to her cheeks and ’t light to ’er eyes ye’d say a woman was all t’ better for carryin’. . . .”
Francis began to take the same delight in the enormous woman that had come to him from the sights of his walk. She was so sane28 and comfortable.
“Eeh,” she said, “It was a good thing to get ’er away from ’er mother. I never could do wi’ them stringy little women. A ’ard time? ’Course she’s ’ad a ’ard time. So’s everybody, but you don’t want the world to go grizzlin about it.”
Annie came in. She was very pretty, with a new soft pride in her eyes. She was very big. She took Francis’s hand and clung to it, and with eyes and voice together she said:
“Thank you.”
“Glad to see you, my dear,” said he. “Glad to see you looking so well.”
She sat down. They had tea, and when they had done [Pg 221]Francis intimated that he wished to speak to Annie alone. Mrs. Entwistle took down a yoke29 from the wall and went off to fetch water from the well. Francis hugged his knee and read several times over a text which ran: “Beloved now are we, the sons of God.” It was so illuminated30 that it was difficult to read: we looked like me, and sons like guns. Then he asked if he might smoke.
“Surely,” said Annie.
Francis lit his pipe and the tobacco tasted very good.
“You have been happy here,” he said.
“Oh, yes. Very happy.”
“I’ve brought you your ten shillings.”
“Thank you.”
He gave her the coin and she put it in a little purse. Francis found himself at a standstill. He forced himself to speak. He was alarmed at the quiescence31 of his conscience under the influence of Mrs. Entwistle and the garden and the radiant thankfulness in Annie’s face. Her gratitude32 to him made it very difficult for him to perform what he conceived to be his duty. A humorous gleam shot through his brain, and he began to think himself a little absurd; but he pricked33 his conscience and it stifled34 the gleam. He looked very serious as he said:
“I suppose—I hope you realise that you have no right to be happy. You are bringing a child into the world in sin . . .”
He could not go on. He saw that he had hurt the girl to the quick.
“I’m sorry,” he said hurriedly. “It is very difficult. I only wanted to be sure that you realised, that you knew, that—that . . .”
With bowed head and with her hands in her lap, Annie said in a low voice:
“I do know all that, sir. I thought that myself, sir, when I first come. Every night I cried because I was so wicked, and I thought I should never be forgiven, and mother had said such awful things to me. But Mr. Folyat came . . .”
“Frederic?”
“No, sir, Mr. Serge. He comes every Saturday. He [Pg 222]paints all the afternoon and then comes here in the evening. Sometimes he walks a great many miles. He come and said I must never have any thought in my head that wasn’t happy, that I must never for a single instant let myself be afraid, for the sake of the child. He said everything that happened to me happened to the child too. And I’ve tried and I have been happy, so I know it’s true. He says: ‘What’s done is done, and people aren’t wicked all the time or good all the time.’ I don’t understand everything he says, but I always feel better when he comes, and I don’t think of anything but it. I want it to love me . . .”
“Of course, of course,” said Francis. “It is very important for you to be well, but you must not imagine . . .”
“I couldn’t take money from you, sir, if you thought me wicked. I have been wicked, but I’m not wicked any longer. I couldn’t do—what I did, ever again. I couldn’t be so silly . . .”
Francis thought to himself: “I must make her appreciate the peril35 through which her soul has passed. . . . She seems to be leaving her soul out of consideration altogether. I must make her see that she has a soul and can only find true happiness in its salvation36 through . . .” Once more he drew back from the contemplation of difficulties which he felt were too intricate for him. He said:
“My dear, be sure I think no ill of you. I only desired, my only thought was . . . is . . . has been to secure you as far as possible from the temporal consequences of your—er—betrayal.” He breathed heavily. Then he fell back on his natural candour and added: “I came meaning to say a great deal, but I find that I have nothing to say. I find it quite impossible to take a professional view of your situation. You must forgive me. I cannot help feeling that I have been guilty of an impertinence.”
Annie still hung her head and plucked at her fingers. She looked at the clock and said:
“Mr. Serge ought to be here now, sir. He’s generally [Pg 223]here before this. There aren’t many gentlemen like Mr. Serge, are there, sir?”
“I hardly know,” replied Francis. “I hardly know, but my experience of the world has been very limited. . . . Do you tend the garden yourself?”
“Yes, sir. I help Mrs. Entwistle. I’ve learned such a lot about the garden since I’ve been here.”
“I had a garden, once, in my old living.” He described the garden at St. Withans, and the exercise of visualising the lawns and borders and the orchard under the church-tower and waking the faint echo of his old joy in it won him back to greater confidence. He talked of flowers and bees and birds until there came a knock at the door, when, with joyful37 alacrity38, Annie hurried to open it. Serge came in with paint-box and sketch-book strapped39 together and slung40 over his shoulder. He nodded to his father and sat down by the table. Annie brewed him fresh tea and he said:
“Jolly place this?”
“Delightful41,” replied Francis.
“Don’t you think she’s looking well?”
“Very. I should hardly have known her again.”
“She’s in good hands. Mrs. Entwistle has taken her to her heart—me too, and if you come often enough she’ll find room for you. It’s delightfully42 warm and comfortable and roomy. I never knew such a heart. You meet all sorts of delightful people in it, all the nicest people in the Bible, and hundreds of children, and everybody loves everybody else. Don’t they Annie?”
Annie blushed:
“That’s only Mr. Serge’s nonsense, Mr. Folyat. He goes on talking like that until Mrs. Entwistle shakes with laughter so that the chair you’re sitting in creaks. . . . Have you had a good day, Mr. Serge?”
“You shall tell me.” Serge produced his sketches43 and Annie looked at them.
“That’s a lovely one,” she said.
“May I see it?” asked Francis.
She handed him a sheet of paper on which was a drawing of a baby in an apple-tree with the wind blowing [Pg 224]in its hair and bringing new wonder into its starry44 eyes.
“Mr. Serge does me one every week,” said Annie simply. “I keep them all.”
Francis held it up close to his face and peered over the top of it at Serge. Very solemnly he returned the drawing to Annie. . . . A moment or two later he leaned forward and said:
“I can remember you when you were like that, Serge. It’s a long time ago, and so many things have happened since then. You were very big and strong, and you used to laugh a great deal. . . . I remember your being ill, and then, when you were a little older, I remember your asking me all sorts of questions that I couldn’t answer. And then, quite suddenly, you weren’t a baby any longer and then you became a boy . . .”
“And then I went away. That is the whole history of any father and any son. Queer, isn’t it? . . . And then we never met again until we came across each other in Mrs. Entwistle’s heart.”
Annie looked puzzled. There were several moments of silence, warm and comforting and, to Francis, very sweet. Serge laughed.
“After this,” he said, “we may expect to hear that Mrs. Entwistle has been caught up into Heaven. As a matter of fact she lives there all the time, because, though you wouldn’t think it to look at her, she is a sort of a fairy.”
“I should like to be back before dark,” said Francis.
“Three minutes,” answered Serge, “and I’ll go with you.” He turned to Annie. “I’ve found work for you as soon as you’re ready. A friend of mine has a farm six miles away. He lives with his sister and he wants an assistant housekeeper45.”
Annie had never taken her eyes from him since he had come into the room. Her eyes now filled with tears, and her hands made a touching46 little gesture, almost imperceptible, of gratitude towards him. Serge went on:
“He’s not a rich man, but he’ll pay you enough, so that [Pg 225]you can feel independent and always be putting by a little.”
Annie found her voice but she remained inarticulate. Francis was curiously47 relieved when Serge rose to go. He held out his hand to her. She took it in both hers and said:
“I know. I must have made you very unhappy. You have been very good to me.”
“Not at all. Not at all,” said Francis huskily. She turned to Serge:
“You’ll come again? It won’t be long now.”
“Next Saturday.”
“It might be before then.”
“I’ll come on Monday.”
“Thank you.”
Francis found his way out into the garden. Through the window he saw Serge take the girl into his arms and kiss her. More than ever he felt that he had been impertinent.
The sun was setting and the mist had almost cleared as Serge joined him. In the west the sky was crimson48, straked with indigo49 clouds. Serge took his father’s arm and said:
“We owe a good deal to that young woman, you and I.”
“Yes,” replied Francis doubtfully. “It seemed to me that she is more than a little in love with you.”
“I hope so.”
“Isn’t that a little dangerous?” Francis felt very bold in making this excursion into psychology50, but the pressure of Serge’s hand on his arm reassured51 him.
“My dear father,” came the reply, “for thirty years you have been paid for teaching people that the only safety of our little existence here on earth lies in love. I can imagine nothing more awful and disappointing than for a woman to go through the process of childbirth without being in love. It is dreadful enough to live from moment to moment without being in love, but to pass through a great natural crisis without it would be devastating52. If she weren’t in love with me I couldn’t have touched her heart. I could only have appealed to her [Pg 226]intelligence, which would have been quite useless. It seemed to me vitally important that she should be made happy, so that through happiness she could understand and feel she was doing no injury to any one, but was performing the ultimate service which a woman is privileged to perform for only a few human beings, namely, the gift of life. She has understood and felt that.”
“But she is in love with you!”
“Why this terror of love? Love, like everything else, becomes a bad thing if it is used selfishly. I ask nothing of her. She knows that. She will love her child the more because of her love for me, and by her greater love she will win the love of the child. . . .”
“But . . .” said Francis.
“What now?”
Francis made full and frank confession53 of how he had come with a desire to make the young woman understand and feel her sinfulness. Serge pressed his arm affectionately.
“My dear father,” he said, “a flower may be impregnated by a very disreputable bee, but it remains54 a beautiful flower for all that.”
“A flower,” said Francis, “has no soul.”
“In the presence of love,” replied Serge, “argument is quite futile55. The tragedy of the world, it seems to me, is this, that with such a power of love and friendship and affection as is in us, there should be so little of them.”
“I at least have won a little of them to-day,” said Francis, and timidly with his arm he pressed Serge’s hand.
“That’s all right,” said Serge.
The night came down as they walked and hung out her most brilliant canopy56 of stars, and, as in a peaceful lake, their light was mirrored in the soul of Francis Folyat.
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1
blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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constraint
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| n.(on)约束，限制；限制(或约束)性的事物 | |
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premises
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| n.建筑物，房屋 | |
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imperative
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| n.命令，需要；规则；祈使语气；adj.强制的；紧急的 | |
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immorality
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| n. 不道德, 无道义 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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obsession
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| n.困扰，无法摆脱的思想(或情感) | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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12
hips
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| abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯，耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 )；[建筑学]屋脊；臀围（尺寸）；臀部…的 | |
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13
holly
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| n.[植]冬青属灌木 | |
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14
orchards
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| （通常指围起来的）果园( orchard的名词复数 ) | |
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orchard
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| n.果园，果园里的全部果树，(美俚)棒球场 | |
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16
well-being
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| n.安康，安乐，幸福 | |
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speculations
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| n.投机买卖( speculation的名词复数 )；思考；投机活动；推断 | |
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18
wrenched
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| v.（猛力地）扭( wrench的过去式和过去分词 )；扭伤；使感到痛苦；使悲痛 | |
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repentance
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| n.懊悔 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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laden
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| adj.装满了的；充满了的；负了重担的；苦恼的 | |
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bustling
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| adj.喧闹的 | |
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rustling
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| n. 瑟瑟声，沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的 | |
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25
comely
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| adj.漂亮的，合宜的 | |
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26
brewed
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| 调制( brew的过去式和过去分词 )； 酝酿； 沏（茶）； 煮（咖啡） | |
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27
chattered
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| （人）喋喋不休( chatter的过去式 )； 唠叨； （牙齿）打战； （机器）震颤 | |
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sane
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| adj.心智健全的，神志清醒的，明智的，稳健的 | |
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29
yoke
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| n.轭；支配；v.给...上轭，连接，使成配偶 | |
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illuminated
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| adj.被照明的；受启迪的 | |
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quiescence
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| n.静止 | |
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32
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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33
pricked
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| 刺，扎，戳( prick的过去式和过去分词 )； 刺伤； 刺痛； 使剧痛 | |
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stifled
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| （使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵 | |
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35
peril
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| n.(严重的)危险；危险的事物 | |
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salvation
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| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
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joyful
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| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
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alacrity
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| n.敏捷，轻快，乐意 | |
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39
strapped
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| adj.用皮带捆住的，用皮带装饰的；身无分文的；缺钱；手头紧v.用皮带捆扎(strap的过去式和过去分词)；用皮带抽打；包扎；给…打绷带 | |
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40
slung
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| 抛( sling的过去式和过去分词 )； 吊挂； 遣送； 押往 | |
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41
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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42
delightfully
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| 大喜，欣然 | |
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43
sketches
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| n.草图( sketch的名词复数 )；素描；速写；梗概 | |
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44
starry
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| adj.星光照耀的, 闪亮的 | |
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45
housekeeper
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| n.管理家务的主妇，女管家 | |
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46
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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47
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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48
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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49
indigo
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| n.靛青，靛蓝 | |
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50
psychology
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| n.心理，心理学，心理状态 | |
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51
reassured
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| adj.使消除疑虑的；使放心的v.再保证，恢复信心( reassure的过去式和过去分词) | |
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52
devastating
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| adj.毁灭性的，令人震惊的，强有力的 | |
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53
confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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54
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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55
futile
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| adj.无效的，无用的，无希望的 | |
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56
canopy
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| n.天篷，遮篷 | |
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