She looked up at her mother's window, and another great chill crept over her. All was dark there. It had always been her mother's custom to place her lamp on the broad window-sill at night. Many a time it had been her beacon-light in cutting across lots from the station on evenings when she had been detained by her work. How strange it was that the light was not in the window to-night!
"Mother is not expecting me to-night," she said to herself, "that is the reason it is not there."
But ah, how she missed it! How her heart had yearned4 to behold5 it, with a yearning6 so great that it had been the most intense pain. She lifted the latch7 and entered tremblingly, hesitatingly. It had been over two months since her mother had heard from her.[41] How had her patient, suffering mother lived through it?
As she crossed the hall she heard the sound of Mrs. Deering's voice in a sharp, high key. Perhaps the horrible nephew was with her. She paused in a paroxysm of terror. She was talking to her husband, scolding him, rather.
"It isn't my fault that we lost the fortune," he was answering her meekly8. "You brought your nephew out of the asylum9 too soon. You knew he would not be here a fortnight before he would do some terrible deed—burn the house down over our heads, or kill himself when the attendant was not watching, or some other horrible deed of that kind. When he did succeed in mutilating himself before any of us was aware of it, instead of sending him back to the asylum, to be cared for, you kept him here under lock and key thinking to cure him yourself in a couple of months or so."
"Ah!" thought Ida May, leaning faint and dizzy against the wall, "now I understand why Mrs. Deering consented to let me go away. Anything to get me out of the house while she was curing the insane nephew whom she had vowed10 I must wed11."
The next words, while they shocked her inexpressively, lifted a world of woe12 from her heart.
"Well, despite our watchfulness13, he succeeded in killing14 himself at last; so there's the end of it. The fortune is lost, and there's no use in raving15 over it, and in venting16 your bitter wrath17 upon everything and every one that comes within your range."
Mrs. Deering's anger was so great that she could not utter a word. She flung open the door and dashed into the hall. The very first object that met her gaze was[42] the cowering18 little figure leaning against the balustrade.
"You!" she cried, quite as soon as she could catch her breath. "How dare you come here, Ida May, you wicked girl! I am amazed that you have the effrontery19 to face honest people after what you have done! We read all about it in the newspapers—how you ran away from Newport with a gay, dashing fellow who soon after deserted20 you. Don't attempt to tell me anything about it. I won't listen to a word. Get out of this house as quick as you can! Go, before I bid the servants throw you from the house!"
"But my mother! Surely you will let me see my mother!" sobbed21 the girl, piteously. "The whole wide world may be against me, but she will believe me guiltless! Please let me see her."
A laugh that was horrible to hear broke from Mrs. Deering's thin lips.
"Your mother!" she sneered22; "much you cared about her, or how your doings affected23 her. That article in the newspapers did the work, as you might have known it would. I carried the paper to her myself, and when she read it she fell to the floor with a bitter cry, and she never spoke24 again. It was her death-warrant!"
For one moment the girl looked at the woman with frightened eyes, as though she could not quite comprehend the full import of what the woman was saying.
"It killed your mother!" she repeated pitilessly. "You might have known it would. She died of a broken heart!"
A long, low moan came from the girl's lips. The awful despair in the dark eyes would have touched any other heart, even though it were made of stone; but[43] in Mrs. Deering's heart there was neither pity nor mercy.
"Go!" she repeated, threateningly, "and do not dare to ever darken my door again!"
"Will you tell me where you have buried my poor mother?" moaned Ida May, with bitter anguish25.
"In the lot where the poor of the village are put," she answered, unfeelingly. "We had to have a mark put over her. You can easily find it. It's to the left-hand corner, the last one on the row. It would be better for you, you shameless girl, if you were lying beside her rather than sink to the lowest depths of the road you are traveling. Go—go at once!"
With trembling feet she crept down the broad path and out of the gate. She was drenched26 to the skin, and the chill October winds pierced through her thin wet clothes like the sharp cut of a knife. It did not matter much; nothing mattered for her any more. She was going to find her mother's grave, kneel down beside it, lay her tired head on the little green mound27, and wait there for death to come to her, for surely God would grant her prayer and in pity reach out His hand to her and take her home. There would be a home there where her mother was, even if all other doors were closed to her.
She had little difficulty in finding the place—a small inclosure in the rear of the old church that had fallen into decay and crumbling28 ruins many years ago—and by the blinding flashes of lightning, she found the grave of her mother—her poor, suffering mother, the only being who had ever loved her in the great, cold, desolate29 earth.
"Mother," she sobbed, laying her face on the cold,[44] wet leaves that covered the mound, "mother, I have come to you to die. The world has gone all wrong with me. I never meant to go wrong. I do not know how it happened. Other young girls have married the lovers whom they thought God had sent to them, and lived happy enough lives. I built such glorious air-castles of the home I should have, the handsome, strong young husband to love and to labor30 for me, and how you should live with me, mother, never having to work any more. But oh, mother, all my plans went wrong! I don't know why."
Ida May crouched31 there among the sleeping dead, her brain in a whirl; and the long night wore on. The storm subsided32, the wind died away over the tossing trees and the far-off hills, and the rain ceased. Morning broke faint and gray in the eastern sky, and the flecks33 of crimson34 along the horizon presaged35 a bright and gladsome day.
The station-agent, hurrying along to his duties at that early hour, was startled to see a dark figure lying among the graves. In a moment he was bending over the prostrate36 form. He could not distinguish in the dim light whose grave it was upon which the poor creature was lying, but as he lifted the slender figure, and the faint, early light fell upon the white, beautiful young face, he started back with an exclamation37 of horror.
"Great God! it is little Ida May!"
For an instant he was incapable38 of action, his surprise was so intense.
"Dead!" he muttered, cold drops of perspiration39 standing40 out like beads41 on his perturbed42 brow.[45] "Little Ida May dead on her mother's grave! God, how pitiful! She was so young to die!"
Then he knelt down beside her in the thick, wet grass, and placed his hand over her heart in the wild hope that a spark of life might yet be there.
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1
weird
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| adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的 | |
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2
looming
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| n.上现蜃景（光通过低层大气发生异常折射形成的一种海市蜃楼）v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的现在分词 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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3
rustled
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| v.发出沙沙的声音( rustle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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4
yearned
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| 渴望，切盼，向往( yearn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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5
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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6
yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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7
latch
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| n.门闩，窗闩；弹簧锁 | |
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8
meekly
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| adv.温顺地，逆来顺受地 | |
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9
asylum
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| n.避难所，庇护所，避难 | |
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10
vowed
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| 起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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11
wed
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| v.娶，嫁，与…结婚 | |
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12
woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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13
watchfulness
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| 警惕，留心； 警觉（性） | |
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14
killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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15
raving
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| adj.说胡话的；疯狂的，怒吼的；非常漂亮的；令人醉心[痴心]的v.胡言乱语(rave的现在分词)n.胡话；疯话adv.胡言乱语地；疯狂地 | |
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16
venting
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| 消除； 泄去； 排去； 通风 | |
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17
wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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18
cowering
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| v.畏缩，抖缩( cower的现在分词 ) | |
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19
effrontery
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| n.厚颜无耻 | |
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20
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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21
sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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22
sneered
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| 讥笑，冷笑( sneer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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23
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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24
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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25
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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26
drenched
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| adj.湿透的；充满的v.使湿透( drench的过去式和过去分词 )；在某人（某物）上大量使用（某液体） | |
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27
mound
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| n.土墩，堤，小山；v.筑堤，用土堆防卫 | |
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28
crumbling
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| adj.摇摇欲坠的 | |
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29
desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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30
labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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31
crouched
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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32
subsided
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| v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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33
flecks
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| n.斑点，小点( fleck的名词复数 )；癍 | |
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34
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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35
presaged
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| v.预示，预兆( presage的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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36
prostrate
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| v.拜倒，平卧，衰竭；adj.拜倒的，平卧的，衰竭的 | |
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37
exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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38
incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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39
perspiration
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| n.汗水；出汗 | |
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40
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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41
beads
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| n.（空心）小珠子( bead的名词复数 )；水珠；珠子项链 | |
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42
perturbed
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| adj.烦燥不安的v.使（某人）烦恼，不安( perturb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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