Yet I was not much given to reflection--far from it, perhaps; and it is lucky for soldiers that they rarely indulge much in thought, or that the system of their life is apt to preclude5 time or opportunity for it. I had come home on a year's sick-leave from the West Indies, where the baleful night-dews, and a fever caught in the rainy season, had nearly finished my career while stationed at Up Park Camp; and now, through the friendly interest of Sir Madoc, I had been gazetted to the Welsh Fusileers, as I preferred the chances of the coming war and military service in any part of Europe to broiling6 uselessly in the land of the Maroons7. Our army was in the East, I have said, encamped in the vale of Aladdyn, between Varna and the sea. There camp-fever and the terrible cholera8 were filling fast with graves the grassy9 plain and all the Valley of the Plague, as the Bulgarians so aptly named it; and though I was not sorry to escape the perils10 encountered where no honour could be won, I was pretty weary of the daily round at Winchester, of barrack life, of in-lying pickets11, guards, parades, and drill. I had been seven years in the service, and deemed myself somewhat of a veteran, though only five-and-twenty. I was weary too of belonging to a provisional battalion12, wherein, beyond the narrow circle of one's own dep?t, no two men have the slightest interest in each other, or seem to care if they ever meet again, the whole organisation13 being temporary, and where the duties of such a battalion--it being, in effect, a strict military school for training recruits--are harassing14 to the newly-fledged, and a dreadful bore to the fully-initiated, soldier. So, till the time came when the order would be, "Eastward15, ho!" Sir Madoc had opportunely16 offered me a little relaxation17 and escape from all this; and though he knew it not, his letter might be perhaps the means of doing much more--of opening up a path to happiness and fortune, or leaving one closed for ever behind me in sorrow, mortification18, and bitterness of heart.
Good old Sir Madoc (or, as he loved to call himself, Madoc ap Meredyth Lloyd) had in his youth been an unsuccessful lover of my mother, then the pretty Mary Vassal21, a belle22 in her second season; and now, though she had long since passed away, he had a strong regard for me. For her sake he had a deep and kindly23 interest in my welfare; and as he had no son (no heir to his baronetcy, with all its old traditional honours,) he quite regarded me in the light of one; and having two daughters, desired nothing more than that I should cut the service and become one in reality. So many an act of friendship and many a piece of stamped paper he had done for me, when in the first years of my career, I got into scrapes with rogues25 upon the turf, at billiards26, and with those curses of all barracks, the children of Judea. Had I seen where my own good fortune really lay, I should have fallen readily into the snare27 so temptingly baited for me, a half-pennyless sub.; for Winifred Lloyd was a girl among a thousand, so far as brilliant attractions go, and, moreover, was not indisposed to view me favourably28 (at least, so my vanity taught me). But this world is full of cross purposes; people are too often blind to their profit and advantage, and, as Jaques has it, "thereby29 hangs a tale."
All the attractions of bright-eyed Winny Lloyd, personal and pecuniary30, were at that time as nothing to me. I had casually31, when idling in London, been introduced to, and had met at several places, this identical Lady Cressingham, whom my friend had mentioned so incidentally and in such an offhand32 way in his letter; and that sentence it was which brought the blood to my temples and quickened all the pulses of my heart.
She was very beautiful--as the reader will find when we meet her by-and-by--and I had soon learned to love her, but without quite venturing to say so; to love her as much as it was possible for one without hope of ultimate success, and so circumstanced as I was--a poor gentleman, with little more in the world save my sword and epaulettes. Doubtless she had seen and read the emotion with which she had inspired me, for women have keen perceptions in such matters; and though it seems as if it was on her very smile that the mainspring of my existence turned, the whole affair might be but a source of quiet amusement, of curiosity, or gratified vanity to her. Yet, by every opportunity that the chances and artificial system of society in town afforded, I had evinced this passion, the boldness of which my secret heart confessed. Her portrait, a stately full-length, was in the Academy, and how often had I gazed at it, till in fancy the limner's work seemed to become instinct with life! Traced on the canvas by no unskilful hand, it seemed to express a somewhat haughty34 consciousness of her own brilliant beauty, and somehow I fancied a deuced deal more of her own exalted35 position, as the only daughter of a deceased but wealthy peer, and as if she rather disdained36 alike the criticism and the admiration37 of the crowd of middle-class folks who thronged38 the Academy halls.
Visions of her--as I had seen her in the Countess's curtained box at the opera, her rare and high-class beauty enhanced by all the accessories of fashion and costume, by brilliance39 of light and the subtle flash of many a gem40 amid her hair; when galloping41 along the Row on her beautiful satin-skinned bay; or while driving after in the Park, with all those appliances and surroundings that wealth and rank confer--came floating before me, with the memory of words half-uttered, and glances responded to when eye met eye, and told so much more than the tongue might venture to utter. Was it mere19 vanity, or reality, that made me think her smile had brightened when she met me, or that when I rode by her side she preferred me to the many others who daily pressed forward to greet her amid that wonderful place, the Row? Her rank, and the fact that she was an heiress, had no real weight with me; nor did these fortuitous circumstances enhance her merit in my eyes, though they certainly added to the difficulty of winning her. Was it possible that the days of disinterested42 and romantic love, like those of chivalry43, were indeed past--gone with the days when
"It was a clerk's son, of low degree,
Loved the king's daughter of Hongarie?"
With the love that struggled against humble44 fortune in my heart, I had that keenly sensitive pride which is based on proper self-respect. Hope I seemed to have none. What hope could I, Harry45 Hardinge, a mere subaltern, with little more than seven-and-sixpence per diem, have of obtaining such a wife as Lady Estelle Cressingham, and, more than all, of winning the good wishes of her over-awing mamma? Though "love will venture in when it daurna weel be seen," I could neither be hanged nor reduced to the ranks for my presumption46, like the luckless Captain Ogilvie; who, according to the Scottish ballad47, loved the Duke of Gordon's bonnie daughter Jean. Yet defeat and rejection48 might cover me with certain ridicule49, leaving the stings of wounded self-esteem to rankle50 all the deeper, by thrusting the partial disparity of our relative positions in society more unpleasantly and humiliatingly51 before me and the world; for there is a snobbery52 in rank that is only equalled by the snobbery of wealth, and here I might have both to encounter. And so, as I brooded over these things, some very levelling and rather democratic, if not entirely53 Communal54, ideas began to occur to me. And yet, for the Countess and those who set store upon such empty facts, I could have proved my descent from Nicholas Hardinge, knight55, of King's Newton, in Derbyshire; who in the time of Henry VII. held his lands by the homely56 and most sanitary57 tenure58 of furnishing clean straw for his Majesty's bed when he and his queen, Elizabeth of York, passed that way, together with fresh rushes from the margin59 of the Trent wherewith to strew60 the floor of the royal apartment. But this would seem as yesterday to the fair Estelle, who boasted of an ancestor, one Sir Hugh Cressingham, who, as history tells us, was defeated and flayed61 by the Scots after the battle of Stirling; while old Sir Madoc Lloyd, who doubtless traced himself up to Noah ap Lamech, would have laughed both pedigrees to scorn.
Leaving London, I had striven to stifle62 as simply absurd the passion that had grown within me, and had joined at Winchester in the honest and earnest hope that ere long the coming campaign would teach me to forget the fair face and witching eyes, and, more than all, the winning manner that haunted me; and now I was to be cast within their magic influence once more, and doubtless to be hopelessly lost. To have acted wisely, I should have declined the invitation and pleaded military duty; yet to see her once, to be with her once again, without that cordon63 of guardsmen and cavaliers who daily formed her mounted escort in Rotten-row, and with all the chances our quiet mutual64 residence in a sequestered65 country mansion66, when backed by all the influence and friendship of Sir Madoc, must afford me, proved a temptation too strong for resistance or for my philosophy; so, like the poor moth20, infatuated and self-doomed, I resolved once more to rush at the light which dazzled me.
"She seems to know you, and would like to see more of you," ran the letter of Sir Madoc. I read that line over and over again, studying it minutely in every way. Were those dozen words simply the embodiment of his own ideas, or were they her personally expressed wish put literally67 into writing? Were they but the reflex of some casual remark? Even that conviction would bring me happiness. And so, after my friends left me, I sat pondering thus, blowing long rings of concentric smoke in the moonlight; and on those words of Sir Madoc raising not only a vast and aerial castle, but a "bower68 of bliss," as the pantomimes have it at Christmas time.
But how about this Mr. Hawkesby Guilfoyle? was my next thought. Could his attentions be tolerated by such a stately and watchful69 dowager as the Countess of Naseby? Could Sir Madoc actually hint that such as he might have a chance of success, when I had none? The idea was too ridiculous; for I had heard whispers of this man before, in London and about the clubs, where he was generally deemed to be a species of adventurer, the exact source of whose revenue no one knew. One fact was pretty certain: he was unpleasantly successful at billiards and on the turf. If he--to use his own phraseology--was daring enough to enter stakes for such a prize as Lord Cressingham's daughter, why should not I?
Thus, in reverie of a somewhat chequered kind, I lingered on, while the shadows of the cathedral, its lofty tower and choir70, the spire33 of St. Lawrence, and many other bold features of the view began to deepen or become more uncertain on the city roofs below, and from amid which their masses stood upward in a flood of silver sheen. Ere long the full-orbed moon--that seemed to float in beauty beneath its snow-white clouds, looking calmly down on Winchester, even as she had done ages ago, ere London was a capital, and when the white city was the seat of England's Saxon, Danish, and Norman dynasties, of Alfred's triumphs and Canute's glories--began at last to pale and wane71; and the solemn silence of the morning--for dewy morning it was now--was broken only by the chime of the city bells and clocks, and by the tread of feet in the gravelled barrack-yard, as the reliefs went round, and the sentinels were changed.
The first red streak72 of dawn was beginning to steal across the east; the bugles73 were pealing74 reveilles, waking all the hitherto silent echoes of the square; and just about the time when worthy75 and unambitious Charley Gwynne would be parading his first squad76 for "aiming drill" at sundry77 bull's-eyes painted on the barrack-walls, I retired to dream over a possible future, and to hope that if the stars were propitious78, at the altar of that somewhat dingy79 fane, St. George's, Hanover-square, I might yet become the son-in-law of the late Earl of Naseby, Baron24 Cressingham of Cotteswold, in the county of Northampton, and of Walcot Park in Hants, Lord-lieutenant, custos rotulorum, and so forth80, as I had frequently and secretly read in the mess-room copy of Sir Bernard Burke's thick royal octavo; "the Englishman's Bible" according to Thackeray, and, as I greatly feared, the somewhat exclusive libro d'oro of Mamma Cressingham, who was apt to reverence81 it pretty much as the Venetian nobles did the remarkable82 volume of that name.
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1
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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reciprocated
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| v.报答，酬答( reciprocate的过去式和过去分词 )；（机器的部件）直线往复运动 | |
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irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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4
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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5
preclude
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| vt.阻止，排除，防止；妨碍 | |
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broiling
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| adj.酷热的，炽热的，似烧的v.（用火）烤（焙、炙等）( broil的现在分词 )；使卷入争吵；使混乱；被烤（或炙） | |
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7
maroons
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| n.逃亡黑奴（maroon的复数形式）vt.把…放逐到孤岛（maroon的第三人称单数形式） | |
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8
cholera
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| n.霍乱 | |
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9
grassy
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| adj.盖满草的；长满草的 | |
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10
perils
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| 极大危险( peril的名词复数 )； 危险的事（或环境） | |
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11
pickets
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| 罢工纠察员( picket的名词复数 ) | |
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12
battalion
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| n.营；部队；大队(的人) | |
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13
organisation
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| n.组织，安排，团体，有机休 | |
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14
harassing
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| v.侵扰，骚扰( harass的现在分词 )；不断攻击（敌人） | |
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15
eastward
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| adv.向东；adj.向东的；n.东方，东部 | |
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opportunely
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| adv.恰好地，适时地 | |
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17
relaxation
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| n.松弛，放松；休息；消遣；娱乐 | |
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mortification
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| n.耻辱，屈辱 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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moth
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| n.蛾，蛀虫 | |
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vassal
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| n.附庸的；属下；adj.奴仆的 | |
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belle
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| n.靓女 | |
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23
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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baron
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| n.男爵；(商业界等)巨头，大王 | |
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25
rogues
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| n.流氓( rogue的名词复数 )；无赖；调皮捣蛋的人；离群的野兽 | |
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26
billiards
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| n.台球 | |
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27
snare
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| n.陷阱，诱惑，圈套；（去除息肉或者肿瘤的）勒除器；响弦，小军鼓；vt.以陷阱捕获，诱惑 | |
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28
favourably
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| adv. 善意地，赞成地 =favorably | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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30
pecuniary
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| adj.金钱的；金钱上的 | |
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31
casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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32
offhand
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| adj.临时，无准备的；随便，马虎的 | |
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33
spire
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| n.(教堂)尖顶，尖塔，高点 | |
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34
haughty
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| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
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35
exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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36
disdained
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| 鄙视( disdain的过去式和过去分词 )； 不屑于做，不愿意做 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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thronged
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| v.成群，挤满( throng的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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39
brilliance
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| n.光辉，辉煌，壮丽，（卓越的）才华，才智 | |
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40
gem
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| n.宝石，珠宝；受爱戴的人 [同]jewel | |
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41
galloping
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| adj. 飞驰的, 急性的 动词gallop的现在分词形式 | |
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42
disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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43
chivalry
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| n.骑士气概，侠义；（男人）对女人彬彬有礼，献殷勤 | |
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44
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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45
harry
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| vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼 | |
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46
presumption
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| n.推测，可能性，冒昧，放肆，[法律]推定 | |
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47
ballad
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| n.歌谣，民谣，流行爱情歌曲 | |
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48
rejection
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| n.拒绝，被拒，抛弃，被弃 | |
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49
ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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50
rankle
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| v.（怨恨，失望等）难以释怀 | |
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51
humiliatingly
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52
snobbery
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| n. 充绅士气派, 俗不可耐的性格 | |
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53
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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54
communal
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| adj.公有的，公共的，公社的，公社制的 | |
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55
knight
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| n.骑士，武士；爵士 | |
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56
homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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57
sanitary
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| adj.卫生方面的，卫生的，清洁的，卫生的 | |
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58
tenure
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| n.终身职位；任期；(土地)保有权，保有期 | |
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59
margin
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| n.页边空白；差额；余地，余裕；边，边缘 | |
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60
strew
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| vt.撒；使散落；撒在…上，散布于 | |
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61
flayed
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| v.痛打( flay的过去式和过去分词 )；把…打得皮开肉绽；剥（通常指动物）的皮；严厉批评 | |
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62
stifle
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| vt.使窒息；闷死；扼杀；抑止，阻止 | |
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63
cordon
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| n.警戒线，哨兵线 | |
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64
mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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65
sequestered
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| adj.扣押的；隐退的；幽静的；偏僻的v.使隔绝，使隔离( sequester的过去式和过去分词 )；扣押 | |
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66
mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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68
bower
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| n.凉亭，树荫下凉快之处；闺房；v.荫蔽 | |
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watchful
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| adj.注意的，警惕的 | |
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70
choir
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| n.唱诗班，唱诗班的席位，合唱团，舞蹈团；v.合唱 | |
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71
wane
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| n.衰微，亏缺，变弱；v.变小，亏缺，呈下弦 | |
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72
streak
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| n.条理，斑纹，倾向，少许，痕迹；v.加条纹，变成条纹，奔驰，快速移动 | |
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73
bugles
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| 妙脆角，一种类似薯片但做成尖角或喇叭状的零食； 号角( bugle的名词复数 )； 喇叭； 匍匐筋骨草； （装饰女服用的）柱状玻璃（或塑料）小珠 | |
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74
pealing
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| v.（使）（钟等）鸣响，（雷等）发出隆隆声( peal的现在分词 ) | |
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75
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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76
squad
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| n.班，小队，小团体；vt.把…编成班或小组 | |
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77
sundry
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| adj.各式各样的，种种的 | |
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78
propitious
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| adj.吉利的；顺利的 | |
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79
dingy
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| adj.昏暗的，肮脏的 | |
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80
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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81
reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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82
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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