"Now! Count: One—two—three—"
"One—two—oh, land! Miss Freddy, I cain't."
"Yes, you can. Try again."
"Why don't you jest show me a tune9?"
"You have got to know your notes first; and you've got to count, or you never can learn."
"I don't want to learn, Miss Freddy; I want to play! Oh," she said once, clutching her hands against her breast, "I want to play!" Her mournful eyes, black and opaque10, gleamed suddenly; then a tear trembled, brimmed over, and dropped down on the work-worn fingers. "I cain't learn, Miss Freddy; I 'ain't got the 'rithmetic. I want to make music!"
Alas11, she never could make music! The clumsy hands, the dull brain, held her back from the singing heights! "I cain't learn 'rithmetic," she said (sixteenth and [Pg 105]thirty-second notes drew this assertion from her); "and if I cain't play music without 'rithmetic, I might as well give up now."
"Well, you can't," Frederica said, helplessly. She had cut out the last quarter of her league meeting to come home and give Flora a music lesson. (Up-stairs, Mrs. Payton, listening to the thump12 of the scales, confided13 to Mrs. Childs that she didn't approve of Flora's playing on the piano. "The parlor14 is not the place for Flora," she said.) But, watched by Mr. Andrew Payton's marble eyes, the slow fingers went on stumbling over the keys, until Frederica and her pupil were alike disconsolate15.
"You poor dear!" Fred said, at last, putting an impulsive16 arm over the thin shoulders; "try once more! And, Flora, Sam isn't the only man in the world. Come now, cheer up! You're well rid of Sam."
"Sam?" said Flora, her face suddenly vindictive17; "I ain't pinin' for no Sam! He was a low-down, no-account nigger—" The door-bell rang, and she jumped to her feet. "I must git my clean apron18!" she said; and vanished into the pantry.
Frederica waited, frowning uneasily; callers were not welcome at 15 Payton Street when Fred was at home—the consciousness of the veiled intellect up-stairs made her inhospitable. But it was only Laura and Howard Maitland, both of them tingling19 with the cold and overflowing20 with absurd and puppy-like fun.
"Feed us! Feed us!" Laura demanded; "we've walked six miles, and we're perfectly21 dead!"
"Pig!" said Fred; "wait till I yell to Flora. Flora![Pg 106] Tea!" Her heart was pounding joyously22, but with it was the agonizing23 calculation as to how long it would be before Miss Carter and her charge came clopping down the front stairs on their way to the room where Mortimore had his supper. "I don't mind Laura," Fred told herself, "but if Howard sees Morty, I'll simply die!"
"Don't you want me to light up?" Maitland was asking; and without waiting for her answer he scratched a match on the sole of his boot, and fumbled24 about the big, gilt25 chandelier to turn on the gas.
"I didn't know you played, nowadays," Laura said, looking at the open piano. "Gracious, Freddy, you do everything!"
"Oh, I'm only teaching poor Flora. She has musical aspirations26. Howard, cheer up that fire!"
Tea came, and Laura said kind things to Flora about the music lessons; and then they all three began to chatter27, and to scream at each other's jokes, Frederica all the while tense with apprehension28.... ("Miss Carter won't have the sense to hold on to him; he'll walk right in!")
But, up-stairs, her mother, leaning over the balusters to discover who had called, had the same thought, and was quick to protect her.
"It's your Lolly," Mrs. Payton said, coming back to her sister-in-law; "and I think I hear Mr. Maitland's voice. I must tell Miss Carter to go down the back stairs with Morty." Having given the order, through the closed door between the two rooms, she sat down and listened with real happiness to the babel of young voices in the parlor. "I do like to have Freddy enjoy herself, as a girl in her[Pg 107] position should," she told Mrs. Childs; "just hear them laugh."
The laughter was caused by Howard's displeasure at Fred's story of some rudeness to which she had been subjected in canvassing29 for Smith—"The Woman's Candidate."
"If I'd been there, I'd have punched the cop's head!" he said, angrily.
Fred shrieked31 at his absurdity32. "If he'd said it to you, you'd only think it was funny; and what's fun for the gander, is fun for—"
"No, it isn't," he said, bluntly.
"Howard," Laura broke in, "do tell Freddy the news!"
"It isn't much," he said, modestly; "I'm ordered off; that's all."
"Ordered off?" Fred repeated; "where?"
"Philippines," Laura said. "Government expedition. Shells and things. Starts Wednesday."
"I've wanted to go ever since I was a kid," Howard explained. "It's the Coast Survey, and I've been pulling legs all winter for a berth33, and now I've got it. I came in to see you pipe your eye with grief at my departure."
"Grief? Good riddance! You lost me a client, taking me out to see those fool flats in Dawsonville. Have another cigarette. Lolly, how about you?"
"No," Laura sighed. "Billy-boy would have a fit if I smoked." She looked at Fred a little enviously34. "I'm crazy to," she confessed.
[Pg 108]
"Oh, don't," Maitland said; "it isn't your style, Laura."
"Howard, do you really start Wednesday?" Fred said, soberly.
He nodded. "It's great luck."
"You'll have the time of your life," Laura assured him; "why do men have all the fun, Freddy?"
"Because we've been such fools to let 'em."
"Ladies wouldn't find it much fun—wading round in the mud," Howard protested.
"They ought to have the chance to wade35 round, if they want to!" Fred said—and paused: (was that Miss Carter, bringing Mortimore? Her breath caught with horror. She was sure she heard the lurching footsteps. No; all was silent in the upper hall).
Howard did not notice her preoccupation; he was pouring out his plans, Laura punctuating36 all he said with cries of admiration37 and envy. ("I'll die if Morty comes in!" Frederica was saying to herself.)
HOWARD DID NOT NOTICE HER PREOCCUPATION
HOWARD DID NOT NOTICE HER PREOCCUPATION. HE WAS POURING
OUT HIS PLANS, LAURA PUNCTUATING ALL HE SAID WITH CRIES
OF ADMIRATION AND ENVY
"You've got to write to me, Fred," Maitland charged her; "I haven't any relations—'no one to love me.' Do write me the news once in a while."
"You're off day after to-morrow?" she repeated, vaguely38; it came over her, in the midst of that tense listening for the shuffling39 step on the stairs, that she would not see him again—he would go away, and she would not have had a word alone with him! She felt, suddenly, that she could not bear it. For a moment she forgot Mortimore. "If you don't go up-stairs and say how-do-you-do to Mother, Laura," she said, abruptly40, "you'll get [Pg 109]yourself disliked. And your mother is in the sitting-room41, too." Even if Miss Carter and Morty appeared, she couldn't have Howard leave her like this!
Just for an instant, Laura's face changed; then she flung her head up, and said, "Oh, yes; I want to see Aunt Nelly. I'll be right back. (I'll give 'em a chance," she told herself, grimly.)
Up-stairs, she roamed about the sitting-room, sniffing42 at the hyacinths, and looking into the little, devout43 books, and even adding a piece or two to the picture puzzle on the table. Then she sympathized with Mrs. Payton's Christmas fatigue—"you oughtn't to give so many presents, Aunt Nelly!"
"Oh, my dear, it gets worse each year! People send me things, and of course I have to pay my debts. So tiresome44."
"It's awful," said Laura; and straightened her mother's toque, and kissed her. "Darling, your hat is always crooked," she scolded, cuddling her cheek against her mother's. "Mama, we're going to have a suffrage45 parade, in April; will you carry a banner?"
"Oh, my dear!" Mrs. Payton protested. "One of those horrid46 parades here? I thought we would escape that!"
"Your father won't think of letting you walk in it, Laura," Mrs. Childs warned her, with amiably47 impersonal48 discouragement.
Laura's face sobered: "You make him let me, darling," she entreated49.
Mrs. Payton looked at them enviously. Nobody hated those vulgar, muddy, unladylike parades more than she[Pg 110] did, but she knew, in the bottom of her heart, that if Freddy had snuggled against her, as Laura snuggled up to Bessie, she would almost have walked in one herself!
"Papa says those parades are perfect nonsense," Mrs. Childs said; "what good do they do, anyhow?"
"We stand up to be counted," Laura explained.
"Papa won't allow it," her mother repeated, placidly50.
"I'm sure Mr. Weston will use his influence to prevent Freddy's doing it," said Mrs. Payton.
Then the two ladies exchanged their usual melancholy51 comments on the times, and Laura listened, making her own silent comments on one fallacy after another, but preserving always her sweet and cheerful indifference52 to their grievances53. She looked at the clock once or twice—surely she had given Howard and Fred time enough! But she waited for still another ten minutes, then, coughing carefully on the staircase, went down to the parlor.
Her consideration was unnecessary. Howard, standing54 with his hands in his pockets, his back to the fire, had been telling Frederica that he was going in for conchology seriously. "I know you don't think shells are worth much," he ended, after giving her what he called a "spiel" as to why he was going and what he was going to do. "But to me conchology is like searching for buried treasure! I've been pawing round for a real job, and now I've got it. I don't have to earn money, so I can earn work! And I think research work means as much to the world as—as anything else. I wanted you to know it was a real thing to me," he ended, gravely.
"Shells aren't awfully55 vital to civilization," she said.
[Pg 111]
He made no effort to justify56 his choice; he had confessed the faith that was in him, but it was too intimate to discuss, even with so good a fellow as old Freddy. ("You can't expect a woman to understand that sort of thing," he told himself; "women don't catch on to science—except Laura. She sees the importance of it.") Then he broke out about Laura's hat. "Isn't it dinky?"
"Yes," Fred said, impatiently; they were talking like two strangers! "Howard, I hate to have you away in April. We're going to have our parade then, and I counted on you."
"What for?" he said, puzzled.
"To walk," she said, impatiently. His little start of astonishment57 annoyed her. "Perhaps you are glad to miss it?"
"I guess I am," he admitted, honestly. "I'm afraid I'd show the yellow streak58."
She was plainly disappointed in him.
"'Course I believe in suffrage," he said, "but I hate to see a lot of ladies walking in the middle of the street."
"We're not 'ladies'; we're women."
"You're a lady, and you can't escape it. And I'd hate to see Laura do it," he added.
Fred had not a mean fiber59 in her, and jealousy60 is all meanness; but, somehow, she felt a stab of something like pain. She did not connect it with Laura; it was only because he was indifferent to what was so important to her—and to Laura, too. And because he was going away, and here they were, he and she, just being polite to each other!
[Pg 112]
"Laura and I don't enjoy the middle of the street," she said; "but I hope we won't funk it."
"You won't," he said; "you are the best sport going!"
Her face reddened with pleasure. "Oh, I don't know," she disclaimed61, modestly.
It was at this moment that Laura's considerate delay ended. "I'm off!" she called, gaily62, from the hall; "Howard needn't come until he is good and ready!"
He was ready in a flash. He gave Frederica's hand a hearty63 squeeze, then turned to help Laura down the front steps.
Fred closed the door upon them, and went back into the parlor. "He is going away," she said to herself, blankly. Her knees felt queer, and she sat down. "Well, at any rate, Morty didn't butt64 in; I couldn't have borne that...."
Out in the wintry dusk, the other two were silent for a while. Then Maitland said, "How can she stand that house?"
"She's perfectly fine," Laura said, loyally.
"She's a stunner," the young man declared; "I never knew anybody just like her. Big, you know. Straightforward. I take off my hat to Fred in everything!"
Laura gave him a swift look. ("Have they fixed65 it up?" she thought; "I gave 'em time enough!")
"But I wish she wouldn't mix up with Smith," he said.
"Smith believes in votes for women."
"What's that got to do with it? He's the worst kind[Pg 113] of a boss. As Arthur Weston says, to put Smith in to purify politics, is like casting out devils by Beelzebub, the Prince of Devils."
"Oh, well, we stand by the people who stand by us!"
"She's dead wrong," Howard said, carelessly, "but I hope she'll write to me when I'm away. I shall want to hear that Smith has been snowed under."
"Of course she'll write to you," Laura encouraged him. ("No, they can't have fixed it up. He wouldn't say that, if they were engaged.")
"Say, Laura, I suppose you—it would bore you to send me a postal66 once in a while? You might tell me how Fred's business is getting along."
"She can tell you herself. (Good gracious! She's turned him down! Poor old Howard!) I'm not very keen on writing letters, but I'll blow in a postal on you once in a while, to tell you that Fred is still in the market."
"I'd be awfully pleased if you would," he said, eagerly.
They were crossing Penn Park, and Laura, looking ahead, said, nervously67: "See this dreadful person coming along the path! Is he drunk?"
"He certainly is," Howard said, laughing. She drew a little nearer to him—and instantly he had a friendly feeling for the lurching pedestrian!
"It frightens me to death to see a man like that," she said.
"He ought to be arrested," Howard said, joyfully—her shoulder was soft against his! "Not that he would hurt anybody—he's just happy."
"I'm not sandy, like Fred," she confessed.
[Pg 114]
"Oh, Fred would undertake to reform him," he agreed, laughing.
"Fred is—oh!" she broke off with a little shriek30; the man, stumbling, had caught at her arm.
"Excuse me, lady, I—" Howard's instant grip on his collar spun68 him around so suddenly that the rest of the hiccoughing apologies were lost in astonishment; he stood still, swaying in his tracks, and gaping69 at the receding70 pair. "The dude thought I was mashin' his girl," he said, with a giggle71.
"Did he touch you?" Howard said, angrily. He had caught her to him as he swung the man aside, and just for an instant he felt the tremor all through her. "I ought to have choked him!"
But she was laughing—nervously, to be sure, but with gaiety: "Nonsense! poor fellow—he stumbled! Of course he caught at my arm. Only just for a minute it frightened me—I'm such a goose!"
"You're not!" he said. But for the rest of the way to the Childses' house, he was very much upset. Laura had been scared, and it was his fault; he had taken the west path through the park, because that was the longest way home, and then he had bowled her right into that old soak! "I could kick myself for taking the west path," he reproached himself, again and again.
He hardly slept that night with worry over having made Laura Childs nervous. "She's the scariest little thing going!" he thought; "but she has sense." She had agreed with him in everything he said about the value of research work, and when he declared that science was[Pg 115] the religion of the man of intellect she had said, "Yes, indeed it is!" "That shows what kind of a mind she has," he thought; "but wasn't she cute about not smoking! Her 'father wouldn't let her.' Of course he wouldn't! A girl like that could no more smoke a cigarette than a—a rose could," he ended. This flight of fancy moved him so much that he made a memorandum72 to send Laura some roses the next day—"and old Fred, too; she's a stunning73 woman," he said, with real enthusiasm.
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1
preoccupied
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| adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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rebuked
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| 责难或指责( rebuke的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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straightforward
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| adj.正直的，坦率的；易懂的，简单的 | |
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contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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5
flora
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| n.(某一地区的)植物群 | |
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bust
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| vt.打破；vi.爆裂；n.半身像；胸部 | |
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numb
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| adj.麻木的，失去感觉的；v.使麻木 | |
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tremor
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| n.震动，颤动，战栗，兴奋，地震 | |
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tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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opaque
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| adj.不透光的；不反光的，不传导的；晦涩的 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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thump
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| v.重击，砰然地响；n.重击，重击声 | |
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13
confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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14
parlor
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| n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅 | |
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15
disconsolate
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| adj.忧郁的，不快的 | |
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16
impulsive
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| adj.冲动的，刺激的；有推动力的 | |
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17
vindictive
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| adj.有报仇心的，怀恨的，惩罚的 | |
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18
apron
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| n.围裙；工作裙 | |
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19
tingling
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| v.有刺痛感( tingle的现在分词 ) | |
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overflowing
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| n. 溢出物,溢流 adj. 充沛的，充满的 动词overflow的现在分词形式 | |
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21
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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22
joyously
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| ad.快乐地, 高兴地 | |
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23
agonizing
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| adj.痛苦难忍的；使人苦恼的v.使极度痛苦；折磨(agonize的ing形式) | |
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fumbled
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| （笨拙地）摸索或处理（某事物）( fumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 乱摸，笨拙地弄； 使落下 | |
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gilt
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| adj.镀金的；n.金边证券 | |
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aspirations
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| 强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 )； 志向； 发送气音； 发 h 音 | |
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chatter
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| vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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29
canvassing
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| v.（在政治方面）游说( canvass的现在分词 )；调查（如选举前选民的）意见；为讨论而提出（意见等）；详细检查 | |
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30
shriek
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| v./n.尖叫，叫喊 | |
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shrieked
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| v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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32
absurdity
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| n.荒谬，愚蠢；谬论 | |
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berth
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| n.卧铺，停泊地，锚位；v.使停泊 | |
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enviously
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| adv.满怀嫉妒地 | |
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wade
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| v.跋涉，涉水；n.跋涉 | |
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punctuating
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| v.（在文字中）加标点符号，加标点( punctuate的现在分词 )；不时打断某事物 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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38
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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39
shuffling
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| adj. 慢慢移动的, 滑移的 动词shuffle的现在分词形式 | |
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40
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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41
sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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42
sniffing
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| n.探查法v.以鼻吸气，嗅，闻( sniff的现在分词 )；抽鼻子（尤指哭泣、患感冒等时出声地用鼻子吸气）；抱怨，不以为然地说 | |
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43
devout
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| adj.虔诚的，虔敬的，衷心的 (n.devoutness) | |
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44
tiresome
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| adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的 | |
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45
suffrage
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| n.投票，选举权，参政权 | |
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46
horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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47
amiably
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| adv.和蔼可亲地，亲切地 | |
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48
impersonal
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| adj.无个人感情的，与个人无关的，非人称的 | |
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49
entreated
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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placidly
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| adv.平稳地，平静地 | |
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51
melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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52
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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53
grievances
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| n.委屈( grievance的名词复数 )；苦衷；不满；牢骚 | |
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54
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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55
awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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56
justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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57
astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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58
streak
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| n.条理，斑纹，倾向，少许，痕迹；v.加条纹，变成条纹，奔驰，快速移动 | |
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59
fiber
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| n.纤维，纤维质 | |
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60
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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61
disclaimed
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| v.否认( disclaim的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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gaily
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| adv.欢乐地，高兴地 | |
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63
hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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butt
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| n.笑柄；烟蒂；枪托；臀部；v.用头撞或顶 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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postal
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| adj.邮政的，邮局的 | |
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nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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68
spun
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| v.纺，杜撰，急转身 | |
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69
gaping
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| adj.口的；张口的；敞口的；多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 )；张开，张大 | |
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70
receding
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| v.逐渐远离( recede的现在分词 )；向后倾斜；自原处后退或避开别人的注视；尤指问题 | |
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71
giggle
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| n.痴笑，咯咯地笑；v.咯咯地笑着说 | |
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memorandum
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| n.备忘录，便笺 | |
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stunning
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| adj.极好的；使人晕倒的 | |
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