The very next morning Laura had burst into 15 Payton Street. "Swear not to tell," she said; and when Fred had sworn, the secret—glowing, wonderful! was told in two words:
"I'm engaged!"
Then came an ecstatic recital5, ending with "I've decided6 on daffodil yellow for your dresses. Rather far ahead—for it isn't to be until the middle of December. But I think it's just as well to plan, don't you?"
"Of course it is," Fred agreed. ("Oh, if I only hadn't asked him!")
[Pg 243]
"Billy-boy will juggle7 out enough money for the finest satin going, for his only daughter; but you girls can have perfectly8 sweet flowered voile, over yellow charmeuse. I've a corking9 idea for your hats." Then she looked at Fred closely. "You're not a bit surprised; I believe you knew what was going to happen!"
Fred laughed non-committally. Laura herself had been so far from knowing what was going to happen, that Howard Maitland had to fairly pound it into her that he was in love with her! He had not meant to tell her so soon. It wouldn't be decent, he thought, remembering that night in the cottage. He hadn't meant to speak for at least a month. He was going to mark time, and forget that there had ever been a minute when Fred Payton had imagined she cared about him—"for, of course, that was all it amounted to," he told himself; "imagination!" There was more modesty10 than truth in his phrase, yet his conviction was sincere enough—"A girl like Fred couldn't really care for me. I'm not up to her!"
It was characteristic of his simple soul, that he told Laura the same thing, when he blundered into the proposal that he had meant to hold back for a month. It was wrung11 from him by his despair at her misunderstanding his feeling about Fred. He was in full swing of haranguing12 her upon the wonderfulness of her cousin—"Of course; she's perfectly stunning," Laura had interrupted; "I know she's simply great. But why on earth you two don't announce your engagement I can't imagine! You make me a little tired," she said, good-naturedly, but rather obviously bored.
[Pg 244]
"Announce our what?"
"Engagement. Do you suppose we are all blind?"
Howard Maitland actually whitened a little under his Philippine tan. "You are mistaken, Laura," he said, quietly. "If I have given you the impression that Fred had the slightest feeling for me, I ought to be kicked."
Laura turned an indignant face toward him: "Do you mean to tell me that Fred has only been flirting13 with you? I don't believe it! She's not that kind."
They were in the Childses' parlor14 in the yellow dusk of the autumn afternoon. Laura had given her caller two cups of tea with four lumps of sugar in each cup, and Howard, between innumerable little cakes, had been telling her again of Frederica's behavior that terrible night at the camp. It was at least the third time that she had heard the grim details, and each time she had shivered and wished he would stop. To silence him, she had charged upon him for not announcing his engagement; it seemed flippant, but it would change the subject. His dismay made her forget Flora15, in real bewilderment. Not engaged to Fred! Had Fred played with him?
"If Fred's been just flirting, she ought to be ashamed," Laura said, hotly; "she knew you were perfectly gone on her."
"Laura, you didn't suppose such a thing?"
"That you were gone on Fred? Of course I did! I knew you were crazy about her, a year ago; and so did she. Howard, I'm awfully16 sorry."
"Sorry—for what?"
"For you."
[Pg 245]
Howard Maitland got on his feet, and walked the length of the room, and back; he said something under his breath. Then he drew up a chair beside her and took her hand.
"I never thought of such a thing."
"What!"
"You are the only girl I ever cared two cents for."
She put her hand against her young breast, in astounded17 question: "I?"
"I should think you'd have seen it. You, and—and everybody."
"But Howard, it can't be—me?" she protested, faintly.
"It's been you, always. When you accuse me of being in love with—with anybody else, and say everybody thought so, you just bowl me over!" His shocked astonishment18 left no doubt of his sincerity19.
"But Freddy," Laura began—
He broke in sharply: "Fred knows how tremendously I admire her. I've always said so, to you and to her, too. And I believe she likes me as much as she likes any of us fellows—but of course I'm not up to her, and she never flirted20 with me in her life! She's not the kind of girl who wants to collect scalps," he said, almost with anger. "I never thought of—caring for her. Why, I—I couldn't care for Fred!"
"But you were always talking about her, and—"
"Of course I talked about her! Doesn't everybody talk about her? But as for being in love with her—Laura, I tell you, you are the only girl in existence, so far as I'm concerned. I suppose you don't care anything about me."
[Pg 246]
Laura put her hands over her face, and laughed; then stretched them out to him, and the tears brimmed over.... "Oh, Howard, you are such a goose!"
There was a speechless moment; then he put his arms around her, kissed the fluffy21 hair that brushed his lips, and said, "Oh, my little darling! my little love...."
After that they had to talk it all over, and there were endless explanations.
"You do believe I never thought of—anybody else?" he asked, again and again. And she said yes, she believed it, but she didn't understand it.
"Why, I was so sure you were in love with her, I used to give you chances to be together. Do you remember that afternoon you went to say good-by to her, before you went to the Philippines? I stayed up-stairs to give you a chance to ask her."
"Laura!"
"I did."
"How could you be so absurd?"
"Everybody thought so."
That silenced him. He was horribly ashamed. It was his fault, then, that night in the cottage? "Everybody thought so." So, naturally, Fred thought so—and she was the noblest and most generous woman in the world! "It's my fault somehow, that she spoke," he told himself, in a passion of humiliation22.
That night he wrote to her. The engagement was not to "come out" for two or three weeks;—"only the family must know," Laura said; but Howard had protested: "Fred—let's tell Fred?"
[Pg 247]
"Well," Laura consented, reluctantly, "I'll go and see her to-morrow morning and make her swear not to tell."
"She can keep a secret," he said. He did not add that Fred should learn the secret before to-morrow morning. "I'm the one to break it to her," he thought. Then mentally kicked himself for saying "break it."
When he sat down at his desk that night to write to her, his face was rigid23 at what was before him; it was nearly dawn before the task was finished; letters—long letters, short letters, letters expressing his admiration24 for her, letters ignoring it, letters about Laura, about the Philippines, about Flora—were written out, torn up, flung into the waste-basket. Then came the brief, blunt truth-telling: Laura had accepted him, and he knew that she, his old pal25, would wish them happiness. Of course there was a postscript26: she would be their very best friend, because they both thought she was the finest woman they knew.
When the letter was addressed and sealed, he went out into the four-o'clock-in-the-morning stillness, and walked over to Payton Street to slip it into the letter-box of the sleeping house. He would not trust it to the mail; he would run no risk of Laura's arriving before the first delivery. Fred mustn't be caught off guard! Then he walked home—glanced at a little suspiciously by an officer on his somnolent27 beat—about as uncomfortable a young man as ever realized his own happiness in contrast to some one else's unhappiness—for, in spite of his modest disclaimer, he knew that Fred was unhappy: "How would[Pg 248] I feel if Laura had refused me? And, of course, Fred is harder hit than a man would be."
But, no matter how hard hit she was, thanks to that letter, the next morning, when Laura swore her to secrecy28, and said that the bridesmaids' hats would be dreams! Fred's upper lip was smilingly stiff.
It was just after that that Mrs. Holmes began to say that her granddaughter was "scrawny."
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1 wilderness | |
n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等,荒漠 | |
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2 primitive | |
adj.原始的;简单的;n.原(始)人,原始事物 | |
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3 expended | |
v.花费( expend的过去式和过去分词 );使用(钱等)做某事;用光;耗尽 | |
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4 curiously | |
adv.有求知欲地;好问地;奇特地 | |
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5 recital | |
n.朗诵,独奏会,独唱会 | |
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6 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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7 juggle | |
v.变戏法,纂改,欺骗,同时做;n.玩杂耍,纂改,花招 | |
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8 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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9 corking | |
adj.很好的adv.非常地v.用瓶塞塞住( cork的现在分词 ) | |
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10 modesty | |
n.谦逊,虚心,端庄,稳重,羞怯,朴素 | |
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11 wrung | |
绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 ); 握紧(尤指别人的手); 把(湿衣服)拧干; 绞掉(水) | |
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12 haranguing | |
v.高谈阔论( harangue的现在分词 ) | |
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13 flirting | |
v.调情,打情骂俏( flirt的现在分词 ) | |
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14 parlor | |
n.店铺,营业室;会客室,客厅 | |
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15 flora | |
n.(某一地区的)植物群 | |
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16 awfully | |
adv.可怕地,非常地,极端地 | |
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17 astounded | |
v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词);愕然;愕;惊讶 | |
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18 astonishment | |
n.惊奇,惊异 | |
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19 sincerity | |
n.真诚,诚意;真实 | |
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20 flirted | |
v.调情,打情骂俏( flirt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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21 fluffy | |
adj.有绒毛的,空洞的 | |
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22 humiliation | |
n.羞辱 | |
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23 rigid | |
adj.严格的,死板的;刚硬的,僵硬的 | |
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24 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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25 pal | |
n.朋友,伙伴,同志;vi.结为友 | |
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26 postscript | |
n.附言,又及;(正文后的)补充说明 | |
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27 somnolent | |
adj.想睡的,催眠的;adv.瞌睡地;昏昏欲睡地;使人瞌睡地 | |
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28 secrecy | |
n.秘密,保密,隐蔽 | |
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