Chapter 20.

The ailments¹ that would hound Mammy for the rest of herdays began. Chest pains and headaches, joint² aches and nightsweats, paralyzing pains in her ears, lumps no one else couldfeel. Babi took her to a doctor, who took blood and urine, shotX-rays of Mammy's body, but found no physical illness.
Mammy lay in bed most days. She wore black. She picked ather hair and gnawed³ on the mole⁴ below her lip. WhenMammy was awake, Laila found her staggering through thehouse. She always ended up in Laila's room, as though shewould run into the boys sooner or later if she just keptwalking into the room where they had once slept and fartedand fought with pillows. But all she ran into was their absence.
And Laila. Which, Laila believed, had become one and thesame to Mammy.
The only task Mammy never neglected was her fivedailynamaz prayers. She ended eachnamaz with her head hunglow, hands held before her face, palms up, muttering a prayerfor God to bring victory to the Mujahideen. Laila had toshoulder more and more of the chores. If she didn't tend tothe house, she was apt to find clothes, shoes, open rice bags,cans of beans, and dirty dishes strewn about everywhere. Lailawashed Mammy's dresses and changed her sheets. She coaxedher out of bed for baths and meals. She was the one whoironed Babi's shirts and folded his pants. Increasingly, she wasthe cook.
Sometimes, after she was done with her chores, Laila crawledinto bed next to Mammy. She wrapped her arms around her,laced her fingers with her mother's, buried her face in her hair.
Mammy would stir, murmur⁵ something. Inevitably⁶, she wouldstart in on a story about the boys.
One day, as they were lying this way, Mammy said, "Ahmadwas going to be a leader. He had the charisma⁷ for it-Peoplethree times his age listened to him with respect, Laila. It wassomething to see. And Noon Oh, my Noor. He was alwaysmaking sketches⁸ of buildingsand bridges. He was going to bean architect, you know. He was going to transform Kabul withhis designs. And now they're bothshaheed, my boys, bothmartyrs."Laila lay there and listened, wishing Mammy would noticethatshe, Laila, hadn't becomeshaheed, that she was alive, here,in bed with her, that she had hopes and a future. But Lailaknew that her future was no match for her brothers' past.
They had overshadowed her in life. They would obliterate⁹ herin death. Mammy was now the curator of their lives' museumand she, Laila, a mere¹⁰ visitor. A receptacle for their myths.
Theparchment on which Mammy meant to ink their legends.
"The messenger who came with the news, he said that whenthey brought the boys back to camp, Ahmad Shah Massoudpersonally oversaw¹¹ the burial. He said a prayer for them at thegravesite. That's the kind of brave young men your brotherswere, Laila, that Commander Massoud himself, the Lion ofPanjshir, God bless him, would oversee¹² their burial."Mammy rolled onto her back. Laila shifted, rested her headon Mammy's chest.
"Some days," Mammy said in a hoarse¹³ voice, "I listen to thatclock ticking in the hallway. Then I think of all the ticks, all theminutes, all the hours and days and weeks and months andyears waiting for me. All of it without them. And I can'tbreathe then, like someone's stepping on my heart, Laila. I getso weak. So weak I just want to collapse¹⁴ somewhere.""I wish there was something I could do," Laila said, meaningit. But it came out sounding broad, perfunctory, like the tokenconsolation of a kind stranger.
"You're a good daughter," Mammy said, after a deep sigh.
"And I haven't been much of a mother to you.""Don't say that.""Oh, it's true. I know it and I'm sorry for it, my love.""Mammy?""Mm."Laila sat up, looking down at Mammy. There were graystrands in Mammy's hair now. And it startled Laila howmuchweight Mammy, who'd always been plump, had lost. Hercheeks had a sallow, drawn¹⁵ look. The blouseshe was wearingdrooped over her shoulders, and there was a gaping¹⁶ spacebetween her neck and the collar. More than once Laila hadseen the wedding bandslide off Mammy's finger.
"I've been meaning to ask you something.""What is it?""You wouldn't…" Laila began.
She'd talked about it to Hasina. At Hasina's suggestion, thetwo of them had emptied the bottle of aspirin¹⁷ in the gutter,hidden the kitchen knives and the sharp kebab skewersbeneath the rug under the couch. Hasina had found a rope inthe yard. When Babi couldn't find his razors, Laila had to tellhim of her fears. He dropped on the edge of the couch, handsbetween his knees. Laila waited for some kind of reassurancefrom him. But all she got was a bewildered, hollow-eyed look.
"You wouldn't…Mammy I worry that-""I thought about it the night we got the news," Mammy said.
"I won't lie to you, I've thought about it since too. But, no.
Don't worry, Laila. I want to see my sons' dream come true. Iwant to see the day the Soviets¹⁸ go home disgraced, the daythe Mujahideen come to Kabul in victory. I want to be therewhen it happens, when Afghanistan is free, so the boys see ittoo. They'll see it through my eyes."Mammy was soon asleep, leaving Laila with dueling¹⁹ emotions:
reassured²⁰ that Mammy meant to live on, stung thatshe wasnot the reason.She would never leave her mark on Mammy'sheart the way her brothers had, because Mammy's heart waslike a pallid²¹ beach where Laila's footprints would forever washaway beneath the waves of sorrow that swelled²² and crashed,swelled and crashed.

1 ailments   

疾病（尤指慢性病），不适( ailment的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• His ailments include a mild heart attack and arthritis. 他患有轻度心脏病和关节炎。
• He hospitalizes patients for minor ailments. 他把只有小病的患者也送进医院。

2 joint   

adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合

参考例句：

• I had a bad fall,which put my shoulder out of joint.我重重地摔了一跤，肩膀脫臼了。
• We wrote a letter in joint names.我们联名写了封信。

3 gnawed   

咬( gnaw的过去式和过去分词 )； （长时间） 折磨某人； （使）苦恼； （长时间）危害某事物

参考例句：

• His attitude towards her gnawed away at her confidence. 他对她的态度一直在削弱她的自尊心。
• The root of this dead tree has been gnawed away by ants. 这棵死树根被蚂蚁唼了。

4 mole   

n.胎块；痣；克分子

参考例句：

• She had a tiny mole on her cheek.她的面颊上有一颗小黑痣。
• The young girl felt very self- conscious about the large mole on her chin.那位年轻姑娘对自己下巴上的一颗大痣感到很不自在。

5 murmur   

n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言

参考例句：

• They paid the extra taxes without a murmur.他们毫无怨言地交了附加税。
• There was a low murmur of conversation in the hall.大厅里有窃窃私语声。

6 inevitably   

adv.不可避免地；必然发生地

参考例句：

• In the way you go on,you are inevitably coming apart.照你们这样下去，毫无疑问是会散伙的。
• Technological changes will inevitably lead to unemployment.技术变革必然会导致失业。

7 charisma   

n.(大众爱戴的)领袖气质，魅力

参考例句：

• He has enormous charisma. He is a giant of a man.他有超凡的个人魅力，是个伟人。
• I don't have the charisma to pull a crowd this size.我没有那么大的魅力，能吸引这么多人。

8 sketches   

n.草图( sketch的名词复数 )；素描；速写；梗概

参考例句：

• The artist is making sketches for his next painting. 画家正为他的下一幅作品画素描。
• You have to admit that these sketches are true to life. 你得承认这些素描很逼真。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 obliterate   

v.擦去，涂抹，去掉...痕迹，消失，除去

参考例句：

• Whole villages were obliterated by fire.整座整座的村庄都被大火所吞噬。
• There was time enough to obliterate memories of how things once were for him.时间足以抹去他对过去经历的记忆。

10 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

11 oversaw   

v.监督，监视( oversee的过去式 )

参考例句：

• He will go down as the president who oversaw two historic transitions. 他将作为见证了巴西两次历史性转变的总统，安然引退。 来自互联网
• Dixon oversaw the project as creative director of Design Research Studio. 狄克逊监督项目的创意总监设计研究工作室。 来自互联网

12 oversee   

vt.监督，管理

参考例句：

• Soldiers oversee the food handouts.士兵们看管着救济食品。
• Use a surveyor or architect to oversee and inspect the different stages of the work.请一位房产检视员或建筑师来监督并检查不同阶段的工作。

13 hoarse   

adj.嘶哑的，沙哑的

参考例句：

• He asked me a question in a hoarse voice.他用嘶哑的声音问了我一个问题。
• He was too excited and roared himself hoarse.他过于激动，嗓子都喊哑了。

14 collapse   

vi.累倒；昏倒；倒塌；塌陷

参考例句：

• The country's economy is on the verge of collapse.国家的经济已到了崩溃的边缘。
• The engineer made a complete diagnosis of the bridge's collapse.工程师对桥的倒塌做了一次彻底的调查分析。

15 drawn   

v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的

参考例句：

• All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

16 gaping   

adj.口的；张口的；敞口的；多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 )；张开，张大

参考例句：

• Ahead of them was a gaping abyss. 他们前面是一个巨大的深渊。
• The antelope could not escape the crocodile's gaping jaws. 那只羚羊无法从鱷鱼张开的大口中逃脱。 来自《简明英汉词典》

17 aspirin   

n.阿司匹林

参考例句：

• The aspirin seems to quiet the headache.阿司匹林似乎使头痛减轻了。
• She went into a chemist's and bought some aspirin.她进了一家药店，买了些阿司匹林。

18 soviets   

苏维埃（Soviet的复数形式）

参考例句：

• A public challenge could provoke the Soviets to dig in. 公开挑战会促使苏联人一意孤行。
• The Soviets proposed the withdrawal of American ballistic-missile submarines from forward bases. 苏联人建议把美国的弹道导弹潜艇从前沿基地撤走。

19 dueling   

n. 决斗, 抗争(=duelling) 动词duel的现在分词形式

参考例句：

• More light-hearted But somewhat puzzled, Vladimir prepared to meet Eugene on the dueling ground. 弗拉基米尔心里轻松了一些，但仍感到有些困惑，在这种心情下，他准备去决斗场地迎战叶甫盖尼。 来自英汉 - 翻译样例 - 文学
• They had been dueling for hours and finally called a draw. 他们一直决斗了数小时，最后打成平局。

20 reassured   

adj.使消除疑虑的；使放心的v.再保证，恢复信心( reassure的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• The captain's confidence during the storm reassured the passengers. 在风暴中船长的信念使旅客们恢复了信心。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• The doctor reassured the old lady. 医生叫那位老妇人放心。 来自《简明英汉词典》

21 pallid   

adj.苍白的，呆板的

参考例句：

• The moon drifted from behind the clouds and exposed the pallid face.月亮从云朵后面钻出来，照着尸体那张苍白的脸。
• His dry pallid face often looked gaunt.他那张干瘪苍白的脸常常显得憔悴。

22 swelled   

增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情）

参考例句：

• The infection swelled his hand. 由于感染，他的手肿了起来。
• After the heavy rain the river swelled. 大雨过后，河水猛涨。