“After I had married and bought a little farm, I just settled down, peaceful like, and waited for the family to increase and multiply. You can bet I was some astonished one day, about two months afterward3, when I found the family had increased and multiplied all of a sudden like.
“So I went to the fellow what sold me this vial—which cures most things in the head—and he told me there was no accounting4 for the strange and curious things what happen along in the course o’ nature. At first, though, he began on science, and told me there was no explanation unless I could follow him through a lot o’ stuff what was writ5 in a book in a foreign language. He had just about convinced me that all was right when he began on the course o’ nature.
“I ain’t much when it’s a question of science or foreign languages, but I’m way up as high as a skysail truck when it comes down to the course o’ nature. So I told him I guessed it was a family affair, and that I wouldn’t be missed much if I left the valley.{132}
“He grinned some, and told me I was a suspicious old duffer, and I smashed a bottle of castor-oil over his figgerhead, and started for ’Frisco.
“You see, I had a bit o’ stuff left out of that deal on the Clipperton Reef, where we dived for gold in a couple of fathoms6 of water as it lay in the bilge of the Isabella. I reckoned to live easy enough without standing7 watch. I wouldn’t trust to them banks, so I had the stuff in bills stitched in a belt around my waist. When I got to town, a man came up to me with a rush and grabbed me by the hand, and he was no other than that rascal8 mate of Hollender’s what got two years for an incident on a voyage to Havre.
“I wasn’t glad to see the fellow, as I always had a liking9 for clean company. But I was feeling lonesome. He just fell down and rolled over with laughing, saying: ‘Oh, it can’t be true, it can’t be true. Oh, no, no, no; it can’t possibly be true. It ain’t so. There ain’t no such luck.’ And he laughed so hard that the tears rolled down out of his{133} little, fishy10 eyes. All the time swearing that, of all men, he was most pleased to meet his old shipmate Garnett.
We went about town and took a few drinks together, and he kept on laughing and telling me how glad he was to meet me again. I paid for the drinks, and I guess I drank some.
“The next morning when I woke up, I didn’t have a thing left in the world but the shirt I slept in. The scoundrel would have taken that, too, if it hadn’t fitted me so tight. He even took my old shoes.
“There I was, half-naked, a-roarin’ an’ bellowin’ for further orders, till they clapped me into the calaboose for a crazy, half-drunken old sailor. They gave me some togs after I got sober enough to put them on, and, as I had nothing left in the world, I had to sign on, and I soon finds myself in Liverpool.
“But it was all them clothes’ fault I took to this job. Them Samaritans wot lives intirely fer the sake o’ others mostly fumigates12 all their clothes o’ the clink. Likewise{134} the smell o’ the sulphur sticks in them, an’ somehow I must have smelt13 like a gorilla14, fer as soon as I heaves in sight o’ any one, they puts their fingers to their noses and sheers off. Sink me, Mr. Gore, that was a fine odour I carries about me, an’ if ye object to a bit o’ peppermint15 salts,—which is good fer the head,—yer ought ter smelt me then.
“I asked a man fer a job buildin’ a house,—not as I ever had a hand at buildin’ afore, but he just sheers off and coughs, an’ calls me a stinkin’ skunk16, and I heaves a brick at him. Then I tries a store sellin’ meat, but they sicks the dog on me, and I heaves away again.
“’Twas that way everywhere I goes. Nobody would stand near me an’ listen to my tale. I couldn’t shuck the clothes, and I couldn’t get clear o’ the smell. So I finally starts down alongshore, where the smells is so mixed there’s no tellin’ which stinks17 the worst.
“Here I runs across this Webster, who is cousin to old man Jackson at the Falklands,{135} and who is the most uncommon18 damn fool, as he says himself.”
“’Pon me whurd, he’s got the proper man for a mate to back him, thin,” observed O’Toole.
“I do know something about handling canvas,” answered Garnett, taking the remark for a compliment; “but may I eternally stew19 if I don’t speak the truth when I says it takes a m-a-n to handle those gangs about decks.”
“What air ye pratin’ about, man? Do ye mane yer own watch?”
“Now, stave me endwise if you ain’t the same red-headed idiot you always was,” growled20 Garnett. “Calling a watch a gang! Lord love ye, man, there are one hundred and twenty men atween decks o’ that clipper, and every mother’s son is an out an’ out, all around—”
“Steady, steady, mate,” I said. “Those ladies will hear you if you don’t brace21 up that tongue of yours.”
“D’ye mane t’ say ye are a convict ship?” cried O’Toole, in amazement22.{136}
I tried to conceal23 my astonishment24, but O’Toole jumped up and stood on the hatch, staring hard at the Englishman. “’Pon me whurd, it is so, fer a fact. Now may the prophet sind us a good wind to waft25 us from sich company. B’ th’ faith av the howly saints, Garnett, I never thought it. ’Pon me whurd I didn’t. Now that’s a cargo26 I don’t want to sail with, an’ ye must be way down, shipmate, when ye drop t’ th’ carrying av a lot av human cattle. Lord! One hundred and twenty poor divils goin’ ter hell as fast as Bill Garnett can pilot them. So that’s the whyfore ye are headed for the Andamans.”
“Sure,” was Garnett’s laconic27 answer.
“But you don’t turn to the whole gang at once, do you?” I asked.
“How in the name of thunder can ye turn to a hundred and twenty men in irons,” answered the old mate, with a grin. “Turn them out in small gangs, man. Poor devils they be, sure enough, but they get plenty of exercise atween decks when the old hooker gets a-switching into it, when it comes on to{137} blow. Besides, those ports you see painted on her sides there are not all make-believe. Some of them will open and let in the air, when the hatches make it too close. I’ve been in worse places than that ’tween decks on that ship, and I never was a convict, either.”
“I’ve heard tell that law and justice were two things av an ontirely different nature,” grunted28 O’Toole, without removing his gaze from the convict ship.
“S’help me, ’tis a fact,” chuckled29 Garnett, “and I onct heard a skipper say that he had onct met a man who was a bigger fool than Larry O’Toole,—but he couldn’t call to mind exactly who the fellow was.”
While the mates were chaffing each other, an uproar30 arose from the after cabin.
I could distinguish Crojack’s hoarse31 voice, raised to a pitch that I knew meant danger to some one. The cabin skylight was open, and the voices of both skippers seemed to come from just beneath it.
“D’ye mean to say that England owns{138} the whole Western Ocean?” roared the old man.
“Up to within three miles of any beach whatever,” cried the little Englishman. “But don’t bellow11 at me, sir; I’m not deaf, and I won’t allow any one to bellow at me, sir.”
“Well, by gorry! England don’t,” roared Crojack.
“I decline to argue the case any further with you, sir,” replied the small skipper, “but I’ll head my course just the same. You have a most uncommon voice, sir, also most extraordinary good grog. So fill my glass and don’t sit there bellowing32 at me, sir. Nothing aggravates33 me more than a man bellowing at me. Don’t do it, I say, or I’ll go—”
“You may go to hell!” roared Crojack.
“I may, sir, indeed I may, but”—then came a pause during which I could hear the clink of glasses—“if I do, sir, I’ll head a straight course, sir, and arrive there shipshape with my yards squared, so her Majesty{139}’ll have no cause to be ashamed of me, though I sincerely hope—”
Then the voice of the little skipper drew away, and I glanced at the door of the companionway just as his cap appeared above the combings.
As he stepped on deck he bowed to the ladies and proceeded, with great deliberation, to put on his coat. He had removed it during the discussion below.
“Madam,” said he, addressing Mrs. Waters, “I should extend the hospitality of my ship to you—that is, I would invite you to do me the honour of a visit—were it not that the cargo we carry is unworthy of inspection34. I, therefore, wish you a pleasant voyage, and trust your husband will learn moderation from you. If not, he will prove a most uncommon and extraordinary companion for you,” and he waved his hand at Crojack, who stood on the top step of the companionway. The little skipper then walked quietly to the break of the poop and sung out lustily for Mr. Garnett. Captain{140} Crojack remained aft, his face wearing an expression of extreme ill humour.
Garnett was within two fathoms of his master, but he sprang to his feet at the hail and answered, “Ay, ay, sir,” in hurricane tones.
“Mr. Garnett, is the boat ready?”
“Yes, sir, all ready, sir,” bawled35 the old sailor as he glanced at the two men of his crew. They immediately sprang over the rail and dropped into her.
“Is all the gear in her?”
“Ay, ay, sir.”
“Then take me aboard my ship as quick as you can, for I’ve wasted all the morning talking to a blockhead.” And he made his way over the side without a word of farewell to Crojack. Garnett followed instantly, and in a few moments they were back again on board the Englishman.
From our decks we could hear the old mate bawling36 orders to a crowd of sailors, who hooked on the tackles and whisked the small boat on to its berth37 almost before the skipper had walked aft to the poop.{141}
[Image unavailable.]
“I FOUND TIME TO DO SOME WORK UPON THE WHEEL GEAR.”
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1
gore
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| n.凝血，血污；v.（动物）用角撞伤，用牙刺破；缝以补裆；顶 | |
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2
gal
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| n.姑娘，少女 | |
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3
afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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4
accounting
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| n.会计，会计学，借贷对照表 | |
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5
writ
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| n.命令状，书面命令 | |
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6
fathoms
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| 英寻( fathom的名词复数 ) | |
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7
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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8
rascal
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| n.流氓；不诚实的人 | |
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9
liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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10
fishy
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| adj. 值得怀疑的 | |
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11
bellow
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| v.吼叫，怒吼；大声发出，大声喝道 | |
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12
fumigates
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| v.用化学品熏（某物）消毒( fumigate的第三人称单数 ) | |
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13
smelt
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| v.熔解，熔炼；n.银白鱼，胡瓜鱼 | |
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14
gorilla
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| n.大猩猩，暴徒，打手 | |
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15
peppermint
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| n.薄荷，薄荷油，薄荷糖 | |
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16
skunk
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| n.臭鼬，黄鼠狼；v.使惨败，使得零分；烂醉如泥 | |
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17
stinks
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| v.散发出恶臭( stink的第三人称单数 )；发臭味；名声臭；糟透 | |
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18
uncommon
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| adj.罕见的，非凡的，不平常的 | |
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19
stew
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| n.炖汤，焖，烦恼；v.炖汤，焖，忧虑 | |
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20
growled
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| v.（动物）发狺狺声， （雷）作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 )；低声咆哮着说 | |
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21
brace
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| n. 支柱,曲柄,大括号; v. 绷紧,顶住,(为困难或坏事)做准备 | |
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22
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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23
conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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24
astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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25
waft
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| v.飘浮，飘荡；n.一股；一阵微风；飘荡 | |
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26
cargo
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| n.(一只船或一架飞机运载的)货物 | |
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27
laconic
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| adj.简洁的；精练的 | |
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28
grunted
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| （猪等）作呼噜声( grunt的过去式和过去分词 )； （指人）发出类似的哼声； 咕哝着说 | |
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29
chuckled
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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30
uproar
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| n.骚动，喧嚣，鼎沸 | |
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31
hoarse
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| adj.嘶哑的，沙哑的 | |
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32
bellowing
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| v.发出吼叫声，咆哮（尤指因痛苦）( bellow的现在分词 )；（愤怒地）说出（某事），大叫 | |
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33
aggravates
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| 使恶化( aggravate的第三人称单数 )； 使更严重； 激怒； 使恼火 | |
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34
inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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35
bawled
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| v.大叫，大喊( bawl的过去式和过去分词 )；放声大哭；大声叫出；叫卖（货物） | |
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36
bawling
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| v.大叫，大喊( bawl的现在分词 )；放声大哭；大声叫出；叫卖（货物） | |
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37
berth
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| n.卧铺，停泊地，锚位；v.使停泊 | |
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