George Renwick substituted "limb" for "leg," "intoxicated1" for "drunk," and "undergarment" for "shirt," in "The Converted Ringmaster," a short-story-of-commerce, which he was editing for "The Family Blessing2." When he should have eliminated all indecorum it would go to Miss Minnely, who would "elevate the emotional interest." She was sole owner of "The Blessing," active director of each of its multifarious departments. Few starry4 names rivalled hers in the galaxy5 of American character-builders.
Unaware6 of limitations to her versatility7, Miss Minnely might have dictated9 all the literary contents of the magazine, but for her acute perception that other gifted pens should be enlisted10. Hence many minor11 celebrities12 worshipped her liberal cheques, whilst her more extravagant13 ones induced British titled personages to assuage14 the yearning15 of the American Plain People for some contact with rank.
Renwick wrought16 his changes sardonically18, applying to each line a set of touchstones—"Will it please Mothers?" "Lady school-teachers?" "Ministers of the Gospel?" "Miss Minnely's Taste?" He had not entirely19 converted The Ringmaster when his door was gently opened by the Chief Guide to the Family Blessing Building.
Mr. Durley had grown grey under solemn sense of responsibility for impressions which visitors might receive. With him now appeared an unusually numerous party of the usual mothers, spinsters, aged20 good men, and anxious children who keep watch and ward21 over "The Blessing's" pages, in devotion to Miss Minnely's standing22 editorial request that "subscribers will faithfully assist the Editors with advice, encouragement, or reproof24." The Mature, with true American gentleness, let the Young assemble nearest the open door. All necks craned toward Renwick. Because Mr. Durley's discourse25 to so extensive a party was unusually loud, Renwick heard, for the first time, what the Chief Guide was accustomed to murmur26 at his threshold: "De-ar friends, the gentleman we now have the satisfaction of beholding28 engaged in a sitting posture29 at his editorial duties, is Mr. George Hamilton Renwick, an American in every——."
"He looks like he might be English," observed a matron.
Mr. Durley took a steady look at Renwick: "He is some red complected, Lady, but I guess it's only he is used to out of doors." He resumed his customary drone:—"Mr. Renwick, besides he is American in every fibre of his being, is a first rate general purpose editor, and also a noted30 authority on yachting, boating, canoeing, rowing, swimming, and every kind of water amusements of a kind calculated to build up character in subscribers. Mr. George Hamilton Renwick's engagement by 'The Family Blessing' exclusively is a recent instance of many evidences that Miss Minnely, the Sole Proprietress, spares no expense in securing talented men of genius who are likewise authorities on every kind of specialty31 interesting, instructive, and improving to first-class respectable American families. Ladies and gentlemen, and de-ar children, girls, and youths, we will now pass on to Room Number Sixteen, and behold27 Mr. Caliphas C. Cummins, the celebrated32 author and authority on Oriental and Scriptural countries. Mr. Cummins is specially33 noted as the author of 'Bijah's Bicycle in Babylonia,' 'A Girl Genius at Galilee,' and many first-class serials34 published exclusively in 'The Family Blessing.' He may——"
Mr. Durley softly closed Renwick's door.
The Improving Editor, now secluded36, stared wrathfully for some moments. Then he laughed, seized paper, and wrote in capitals:—
"When the editor in this compartment37 is to be exhibited, please notify him by knocking on this door before opening it. He will then rise from his sitting posture, come forward for inspection38, and turn slowly round three times, if a mother, a school teacher, or a minister of the Gospel be among the visiting subscribers."
Renwick strode to his door. While pinning the placard on its outside he overheard the concluding remarks of Mr. Durley on Mr. Cummins, whose room was next in the long corridor: "Likewise talented editor of the Etiquette39 Department and the Puzzle Department. Mr. Cummins, Sir, seven lady teachers from the State of Maine are now honouring us in this party."
Renwick stood charmed to listen. He heard the noted author clack forward to shake hands all round meantime explaining in thin, high, affable volubility: "My de-ar friends, you have the good fortune to behold me in the very act of composing my new serial35 of ten Chapters, for 'The Blessing' exclusively, entitled 'Jehu and Jerusha in Jerusalem,' being the experiences of a strenuous40 New England brother and sister in the Holy Land, where our Lord innogerated the Christian41 religion, now, sad to say, under Mohammetan subjection. In this tale I am incorporating largely truthful42 incidents of my own and blessed wife's last visit to the Holy Places where——"
Renwick slammed his door. He flung his pen in a transport of derision. Rebounding43 from his desk, it flew through an open window, perhaps to fall on some visitor to "The Blessing's" lawn. He hastened to look down. Nobody was on gravel44 path or bench within possible reach of the missile. Renwick, relieved, mused45 anew on the singularities of the scene.
The vast "Blessing" Building stands amid a city block devoted46 largely to shaven turf, flower beds, grassed mounds47, and gravel paths. It is approached from the street by a broad walk which bifurcates49 at thirty yards from the "Richardson" entrance, to surround a turfed truncated50 cone51, from which rises a gigantic, severely52 draped, female figure. It is that bronze of Beneficence which, in the words of the famous New England sculptress, Miss Angela C. Amory Pue, "closely features Miss Martha Minnely in her grand early womanhood." In the extensive arms of the Beneficence a bronze volume so slants53 that spectators may read on its back, in gilt54 letters, "THE FAMILY BLESSING." Prettily55 pranked out in dwarf56 marginal plants on the turfy cone these words are pyramided: "LOVE. HEAVEN. BENEFICENCE. THE LATEST FASHIONS. MY COUNTRY, 'TIS OF THEE."
Not far from the statue slopes a great grassed mound48 which displays still more conspicuously57 in "everlastings," "THE FAMILY BLESSING. CIRCULATION 1915, 1,976,709. MONTHLY. COME UNTO ME ALL YE WEARY AND HEAVILY LADEN58. TWO DOLLARS A YEAR."
The scheme ever puzzled Renwick. Had some demure59 humour thus addressed advertisements as if to the eternal stars? Or did they proceed from a pure simplicity60 of commercial taste? From this perennial61 problem he was diverted by sharp rapping at his door. Durley again? But the visitor was Mr. Joram B. Buntstir, veteran among the numerous editors of "The Blessing," yet capable of jocularities. He appeared perturbed62.
"Renwick, you are rather fresh here, and I feel so friendly to you that I'd hate to see you get into trouble unwarned. Surely you can't wish Miss Minnely to see that."
"What? Oh, the placard! That's for Durley. He must stop exhibiting me."
"Mr. Durley won't understand. Anyway, he couldn't stop without instructions from Miss Minnely. He will take the placard to her for orders. You do not wish to hurt Miss Minnely's feelings, I am sure." Mr. Buntstir closed the door behind him.
"Bah—Miss Minnely's feelings can't be so tender as all that!"
"No, eh? Do you know her so thoroughly63?"
"I don't know her at all. I've been here three months without once seeing Miss Minnely. Is she real? Half the time I doubt her existence."
"You get instructions from her regularly."
"I get typewritten notes, usually voluminous, signed 'M. Minnely,' twice a week. But the Business Manager, or Miss Heartly, may dictate8 them, for all I know."
"Pshaw! Miss Minnely presides in seclusion64. Her private office has a street entrance. She seldom visits the Departments in office hours. Few of her staff know her by sight. She saves time by avoiding personal interviews. But she keeps posted on everybody's work. I hope you may not have to regret learning how very real Miss Minnely can be. She took me in hand, once, eight years ago. I have been careful to incur65 no more discipline since—kind as she was. If she sees your placard——"
"Well, what?"
"Well, she can be very impressive. I fear your offer to turn round before visitors may bring you trouble."
"I am looking for trouble. I'm sick and tired of this life of intellectual shame."
"Then quit!" snapped Buntstir, pierced. "Be consistent. Get out. Sell your sneers66 at a great established publication to some pamphlet periodical started by college boys for the regeneration of Literature. Don't jeer67 what you live by. That is where intellectual shame should come in."
"You are right. A man should not gibe68 his job. I must quit. The 'Blessing' is all right for convinced devotees of the mawkish69. But if a man thinks sardonically of his daily work, that damns the soul."
"It may be an effect of the soul trying to save itself," said Buntstir, mollified. "Anyway, Renwick, remember your trouble with 'The Reflex.' Avoid the name of a confirmed quitter. Stay here till you can change to your profit. Squealing70 won't do us any good. A little grain of literary conscience ought not to make you talk sour. It's cynical71 to satirize72 our bread and butter—imprudent, too."
"That's right. I'll swear off, or clear out. Lord, how I wish I could. My brain must rot if I don't. 'The Blessing's' 'emotional'! Oh, Buntstir, the stream of drivel! And to live by concocting73 it for trustful subscribers. Talk of the sin of paregoricking babies!"
"Babies take paregoric because they like it. Pshaw, Renwick, you're absurdly sensitive. Writing-men must live, somehow—usually by wishy-washiness. Unpleasant work is the common lot of mankind. Where's your title to exemption74? Really, you're lucky. Miss Minnely perceives zest75 in your improvements of copy. She says you are naturally gifted with 'The Blessing's' taste."
"For Heaven's sake, Buntstir!"
"She did—Miss Heartly told me so. And yet—if she sees that placard—no one can ever guess what she may do in discipline. You can't wish to be bounced, dear boy, with your family to provide for. Come, you've blown off steam. Take the placard off your door."
"All right. I will. But Miss Minnely can't bounce me without a year's notice. That's how I engaged."
"A year's notice to quit a life of intellectual shame!"
"Well, it is one thing to jump out of the window, and another to be bounced. I wouldn't stand that."
Buntstir laughed. "I fancy I see you, you sensitive Cuss, holding on, or jumping off or doing anything contra to Miss Minnely's intention." He went to the door. "Hello, where's the placard?" he cried, opening it.
"Gone!" Renwick sprang up.
"Gone, sure. No matter how. It is already in Miss Minnely's hands. Well, I told you to take it down twenty minutes ago."
"Wait, Buntstir. What is best to be done?"
"Hang on for developments—and get to work."
Buntstir vanished as one hastens to avoid infection.
II
Renwick resumed his editing of "The Converted Ringmaster" with resolve to think on nothing else. But, between his eyes and the manuscript, came the woeful aspect of two widows, his mother and his sister, as they had looked six months earlier, when he threw up his political editorship of "The Daily Reflex" in disgust at its General Manager's sudden reversal of policy. His sister's baby toddled76 into the vision. He had scarcely endured to watch the child's uncertain steps during the weeks while he wondered how to buy its next month's modified milk. To "The Reflex" he could not return, because he had publicly burned his boats, with the desperate valour of virtue77 conscious that it may weaken if strained by need for family food.
Out of that dangerous hole he had been lifted by the Sole Proprietress of "The Family Blessing." She praised his "public stand for principle" in a note marked "strictly78 confidential," which tendered him a "position." He had secretly laughed at the cautious, amiable79 offer, even while her laudation gratified his self-importance. Could work on "The Blessing" seem otherwise than ridiculous for one accustomed to chide80 presidents, monarchs81, bosses, bankers, railway magnates? But it was well paid, and seemed only too easy. The young man did not foresee for himself that benumbing of faculty82 which ever punishes the writer who sells his facility to tasks below his ambition. At worst "The Blessing" seemed harmless. Nor could his better nature deny a certain esteem83 to that periodical which affectionate multitudes proclaimed to be justly named.
Renwick, viewing himself once more as a recreant84 breadwinner, cursed his impetuous humour. But again he took heart from remembrance of his engagement by the year, little suspecting his impotency to hold on where snubs must be the portion of the unwanted. Twelve months to turn round in! But after? What if an editor, already reputed impractical85 by "The Reflex" party, should be refused employment everywhere, after forsaking86 "The Blessing" office, in which "positions" were notoriously sought or coveted87 by hundreds of "literary" aspirants88 to "soft snaps"? So his veering89 imagination whirled round that inferno90 into which wage earners descend91 after hazarding their livelihood92.
From this disquiet93 he sprang when his door was emphatically knocked. It opened. Mr. Durley reappeared with a throng94 closely resembling the last, except for one notable wide lady in street costume of Quakerish gray. Her countenance95 seemed to Renwick vaguely96 familiar. The fabric97 and cut of her plain garb98 betokened99 nothing of wealth to the masculine eye, but were regarded with a degree of awe100 by the other ladies present. She appeared utterly101 American, yet unworldly, in the sense of seeming neither citified, suburbanish, nor rural. The experienced placidity103 of her countenance reminded Renwick of a familiar composite photograph of many matrons chosen from among "The Blessing's" subscribers.
"Her peculiarity105 is that of the perfect type," he pondered while listening to Durley's repetition of his previous remarks.
At their close, he briskly said: "Mr. Renwick, Sir, Miss Minnely wishes you to know that your kind offer is approved. We are now favoured with the presence of four mothers, six lady teachers, and a minister of the Gospel."
Renwick flushed. His placard approved! It promised that he would come forward and turn round thrice for inspection. Durley had received instructions to take him at his word! Suddenly the dilemma106 touched his facile humour. Explanation before so many was impossible. Gravely he approached the visitors, held out the skirts of his sack coat, turned slowly thrice, and bowed low at the close.
The large lady nodded with some reserve. Other spectators clearly regarded the solemnity as part of "The Blessing's" routine. Mr. Durley resumed his professional drone:—"We will now pass on to Room Number Sixteen, and behold Mr. Caliphas C. Cummins in——" Renwick's door closed.
Then the large lady, ignoring the attractions of Mr. Cummins, went to the waiting elevator, and said "down."
Renwick, again at his desk, tried vainly to remember of what or whom the placid102 lady had reminded him. A suspicion that she might be Miss Minnely fled before recollection of her street costume. Still—she might be. If so—had his solemnly derisive107 posturing108 offended her? She had given no sign. How could he explain his placard to her? Could he not truly allege109 objections to delay of his work by Durley's frequent interruptions? He was whirling with conjecture110 and indecision when four measured ticks from a lead pencil came on his outer door.
There stood Miss Heartly, Acting111 Manager of the Paper Patterns Department. Her light blue eyes beamed the confidence of one born trustful, and confirmed in the disposition112 by thirty-five years of popularity at home, in church, in office. In stiff white collar, lilac tie, trig grey gown, and faint, fading bloom of countenance, she well represented a notable latter day American type, the Priestess of Business, one born and bred as if to endow office existence with some almost domestic touch of Puritan nicety. That no man might sanely113 hope to disengage Miss Heartly from devotion to "The Family Blessing" was as if revealed by her unswerving directness of gaze in speech.
"I have called, Mr. Renwick, by instruction of the Sole Proprietress. Miss Minnely wishes me, first, to thank you for this."
It was the placard!
Renwick stared, unable to credit the sincerity114 in her face and tone. She must be making game of him while she spoke115 in measured links, as if conscientiously116 repeating bits each separately memorized:
"Mr. Renwick—Miss Minnely desires you to know that she has been rarely more gratified—than by this evidence—that your self-identification with 'The Blessing'—is cordial and complete. But—Miss Minnely is inclined to hope—that your thoughtful and kind proposal—of turning round for inspection—may be—modified—or improved. For instance—if you would carefully prepare—of course for revision by her own taste—a short and eloquent117 welcoming discourse—to visitors—that could be elevated to an attraction—for subscribers—of that she is almost, though not yet quite, fully23 assured. Miss Minnely presumes, Mr. Renwick, that you have had the pleasure of—hearing Mr. Cummins welcome visitors. Of course, Mr. Renwick, Miss Minnely would not have asked you—but—as you have volunteered—in your cordial willingness—that affords her an opportunity—for the suggestion. But, Mr. Renwick, if you do not like the idea—then Miss Minnely would not wish—to pursue the suggestion further." A child glad to have repeated its lesson correctly could not have looked more ingenuous118.
In her fair countenance, open as a daybook, Renwick could detect no guile119. Her tone and figure suggested curiously120 some flatness, as of the Paper Patterns of her Department. But through this mild deputy Miss Minnely must, he conceived, be deriding121 him. With what subtlety122 the messenger had been chosen! It seemed at once necessary and impossible to explain his placard to one so guiltless of humour.
"I hoped it might be understood that I did not intend that placard to be taken literally123, Miss Heartly."
"Not literally!" she seemed bewildered.
"To be pointed124 at as 'a first class general purpose editor' is rather too much, don't you think?"
"I know, Mr. Renwick," she spoke sympathetically. "It sort of got onto your humility125, I presume. But Miss Minnely thinks you are first class, or she would never have instructed Mr. Durley to say first class. That is cordial to you, and good business—to impress the visitors, I mean."
"Miss Minnely is very appreciative126 and kind. But the point is that I did not engage to be exhibited to flocks of gobemouches."
Miss Heartly pondered the term. "Please, Mr. Renwick, what are gobemouches?"
"I should have said The Plain People."
"Perhaps there have been rude ones—not subscribers," she said anxiously.
"No, all have acted as if reared on 'The Blessing.'"
She sighed in relief—then exclaimed in consternation:—"Can Mr. Durley have been—rude?" She hesitated to pronounce the dire3 word.
"Not at all, Miss Heartly. I do not blame Mr. Durley for exhibiting us as gorillas127."
"But how wrong." There was dismay in her tone. "Miss Minnely has warned him against the least bit of deception128."
"Oh, please, Miss Heartly—I was speaking figuratively."
Her fair brow slightly wrinkled, her fingers went nervously129 to her anxious lips, she looked perplexed;—"Figuratively! If you would kindly130 explain, Mr. Renwick. I am not very literary."
"Do the ladies of the Paper Patterns Department like to be exhibited?" he ventured.
"Well, I could not exactly be warranted to say 'like'—Scripture has such warnings against the sinfulness of vanity. But we are, of course, cordially pleased to see visitors—it is so good for the Subscription131 Department."
"I see. And it is not hard on you individually. There you are, a great roomful of beautiful, dutiful, cordial young ladies. You keep one another in countenance. But what if you were shown each in a separate cage?"
Her face brightened. "Oh, now I understand, Mr. Renwick! You mean it would be nicer for the Editors, too, to be seen all together."
Renwick sighed hopelessly. She spoke on decisively: "That may be a valuable suggestion, Mr. Renwick." On her pad she began pencilling shorthand. "Of course I will credit you with it. Perhaps you do not know that Miss Minnely always pays well for valuable suggestions." She wrote intently, murmuring: "But is it practicable? Let me think. Why, surely practicable! But Miss Minnely will decide. All partitions on the Editorial Flat could be removed! Make it cool as Prize Package or Financial Department!" She looked up from her paper, glowing with enterprise, and pointed her pencil straight at Renwick. "And so impressive!" She swept the pencil in a broad half circle, seeing her picture. "Thirty Editors visible at one comprehensive glance! All so literary, and busy, and intelligent, and cordial! Fine! I take the liberty, temporarily, of calling that a first-class suggestion, Mr. Renwick. It may be worth hundreds to you, if Miss Minnely values it. It may be forcibly felt in the Subscription List—if Miss Minnely approves. It may help to hold many subscribers who try to get away after the first year. I feel almost sure Miss Minnely will approve. I am so glad. I thought something important was going to come when Miss Minnely considered your placard so carefully."
"But some of the other Editors may not wish to be exhibited with the whole collection," said Renwick gravely. "For instance, consider Mr. Cummins' literary rank. Would it gratify him to be shown as a mere132 unit among Editors of lesser133 distinction?"
"You are most fore-thoughtful on every point, Mr. Renwick. That is so fine. But Mr. Cummins is also most devoted. I feel sure he would cordially yield, if Miss Minnely approved. I presume you will wish me to tell her that you are grateful for her kind message?"
"Cordially grateful seems more fitting. Miss Heartly—and I am—especially for her choice of a deputy."
"Thank you, Mr. Renwick. I will tell her that, too. And may I say that you will be pleased to adopt her suggestion that you discourse a little to visitors, pending134 possible changes in this Flat, instead of just coming forward and turning around. Literary men are so clever—and—ready." He fleetingly135 suspected her of derision.
"Please say that I will reflect on Miss Minnely's suggestion with an anxious wish to emulate136, so far as my fallen nature will permit, Miss Heartly's beautiful devotion to 'The Blessing's' interests."
"Oh, thank you again, so much, Mr. Renwick." And the fair Priestess of Business bowed graciously in good bye.
III
Renwick sat dazed. From his earliest acquaintance with "The Family Blessing" he had thought of its famous Editress and Sole Proprietress as one "working a graft137" on the Plain People by consummate138 sense of the commercial value of cordial cant139. Now he had to conceive of her as perfectly140 ingenuous. Had she really taken his placard as one written in good faith? He remembered its sentences clearly:
"When the editor in this compartment is to be exhibited, please notify him by knocking on this door before opening it. He will then rise from his sitting posture, come forward for inspection, and turn slowly around three times if a school teacher, a mother, or a minister of the Gospel be among the visiting subscribers."
Miss Minnely took that for sincere! Renwick began to regard "The Blessing" as an emanation of a soul so simple as to be incapable141 of recognizing the diabolic element, derision. He was conceiving a tenderness for the honesty which could read his placard as one of sincerity. How blessed must be hearts innocent of mockery! Why should he not gratify them by discoursing142 to visiting subscribers? The idea tickled143 his fancy. At least he might amuse himself by writing what would edify144 Durley's parties if delivered with gravity. He might make material of some of Miss Minnely's voluminous letters of instruction to himself. From his pigeon-hole he drew that file, inspected it rapidly, laughed, and culled145 as he wrote.
Twenty minutes later he was chuckling146 over the effusion, after having once read its solemnities aloud to himself.
"Hang me if I don't try it on Durley's next party!" he was telling himself, when pencil tickings, like small woodpecker tappings, came again on his outer door. "Miss Heartly back! I will treat her to it!" and he opened the door, discourse in hand.
There stood the wide, wise-eyed, placid, gray-clad lady!
"I am Miss Minnely, Mr. Renwick. Very pleased to introduce myself to a gentleman whose suggestion has pleased me deeply." Her wooly147 voice was as if steeped in a syrup148 of cordial powers. Suddenly he knew she had reminded him of Miss Pue's gigantic bronze Beneficence.
"Thank you, Miss Minnely. I feel truly honoured." Renwick, with some concealed149 trepidation150, bowed her to his revolving151 chair.
"Mr. Renwick." She disposed her amplitude152 comfortably; then streamed on genially153 and authoritatively154, "You may be gratified to learn that I was pleased—on the whole—by your cordial demeanour while—er—revolving—not long ago—on the occasion of Mr. Durley's last visiting party. Only—you will permit me to say this in all kindness—I did not regard the—the display of—er—form—as precisely155 adapted. Otherwise your appearance, tone, and manner were eminently157 suitable—indeed such as mark you strongly, Mr. Renwick, as conforming—almost—to my highest ideal for the conduct of Editors of 'The Blessing.' Consequently I deputed Miss Heartly—with a suggestion. She has informed me of your cordial willingness, Mr. Renwick—hence I am here to thank you again—and instruct. Your short discourse to visitors will—let me explain—not only edify, but have the effect of, as it were, obviating158 any necessity for the—er—revolving—and the display of—er—form. Now, you are doubtless aware that I invariably edit, so to speak, every single thing done on behalf of our precious 'Family Blessing.' For due performance of that paramount159 duty I must give account hereafter. My peculiar104 gift is Taste—you will understand that I mention this fact with no more personal vanity that if I mentioned that I have a voice, hands, teeth, or any other endowment from my Creator—our Creator, in fact. Taste—true sense of what our subscribers like on their higher plane. My great gift must be entitled to direct what we say to visitors, just as it directs what 'The Blessing' publishes on its story pages, its editorial columns, its advertisements, letter heads, everything of every kind done in 'The Blessing's' name. I am thorough. And so, Mr. Renwick, I desire to hear your discourse beforehand. What? You have already prepared it? Excellent! Promptitude—there are few greater business virtues160! We will immediately use your draft as a basis for further consultation161."
So imposing162 was her amiable demeanour that Renwick had no wish but to comply. He glanced over what he had written, feeling now sure that its mock gravity would seem nowise sardonic17 to Miss Minnely.
"In preparing these few words," he remarked, "I have borrowed liberally from your notes of instruction to me, Miss Minnely."
"Very judicious163. Pray give me the pleasure."
He tendered the draft.
"But no, please deliver it." She put away the paper. "Suppose me to be a party of our de-ar visiting subscribers. I will stand here, you there. Now do not hesitate to be audible, Mr. Renwick." She beamed as a Brobdignagian child at a new game.
Renwick, quick to all humours, took position, and began with unction: "Dear friends, dear visitors——"
She interrupted amiably:—"De-ar friends, de-ar visitors. Make two syllables164 of the de-ar. The lingering is cordial in effect. I have observed that carefully—de-ar softens165 hearts. Dwell on the word—dee-ar—thus you will cause a sense of affectionate regard to cling to visitors' memories of 'The Blessing's' editorial staff. You understand, Mr. Renwick?"
He began again: "De-ar friends, de-ar visitors, de-ar mothers, de-ar teachers," but again she gently expostulated, holding up a fat hand to stop his voice.
"Please, Mr. Renwick—no, I think not—it might seem invidious to discriminate166 by specifying167 some before others. All alike are our de-ar friends and visitors."
"De-ar friends, de-ar visitors," Renwick corrected his paper, "I cannot hope to express adequately to you my feelings of delight in being introduced to your notice as a first class general purpose editor, and eminent156 authority on——"
She graciously interposed:—"It might be well to pencil this in, Mr. Renwick, 'introduced to you by our de-ar colleague, Mr. Durley, the most experienced of our guides to the "Family Blessing" Building, as general purpose editor, etc.' That would impress, as hinting at our corps168 of guides, besides uplifting the rank of our valued colleague, Mr. Durley, and by consequence 'The Blessing,' through the respectful mention made of one of our more humble169 employees. Elevate the lowly, and you elevate all the superior classes—that is a sound American maxim170. In business it is by such fine attention to detail that hearts and therefore subscribers are won. But, Mr. Renwick, nothing could be better than your 'I cannot hope to express adequately my feelings of delight,' etc.—that signifies cordial emotion—it is very good business, indeed."
Sincerity was unclouded in her gaze. He pencilled in her amendment171, and read on:—"and eminent authority on water amusements of a character to build up character in first-class respectable American families."
"Very good—I drilled Mr. Durley in that," she put in complacently172.
"Dear friends," he resumed.
"De-ar," she reminded him.
"De-ar friends, you may naturally desire to be informed of the nature of the duties of a general purpose editor, therefore——"
"Let me suggest again, Mr. Renwick. Better say 'Dear friends, closely associated with "The Family Blessing," as all must feel who share the privilege of maintaining it, you will naturally desire to be informed,' etc. Don't you agree, Mr. Renwick? It is well to neglect no opportunity for deepening the sense of our de-ar subscribers that the 'Blessing' is a privilege to their households. I do everything possible to make our beloved ones feel that they own 'The Blessing,' as in the highest sense they do. They like that. It is remunerative173, also."
Renwick jotted174 in the improvement, and read on: "A general purpose editor of 'The Blessing' is simply one charged with promoting the general purpose of 'The Blessing.' To explain what that is I cannot do better than employ the words of the Sole Proprietress, Miss Minnely herself, and——."
The lady suggested, "I cannot do so well as to employ the words of—it is always effective to speak most respectfully of the absent Proprietress—that touches their imagination favourably175. It is good business."
"I appreciate it, Miss Minnely. And now I venture to adapt, verbatim, parts of your notes to me."
"It was forethoughtful to preserve them, Mr. Renwick. I am cordially pleased."
He read on more oratorically:—"De-ar friends, 'The Blessing' has a Mission, and to fulfil that Mission it must, first of all, entertain its subscribers on their higher plane. This cannot be done by stimulating176 in them any latent taste for coarse and inelegant laughter, but by furnishing entertainingly the wholesome177 food from which mental pabulum is absorbed and mental growth accomplished178."
"Excellent! My very own words."
"The varieties of this entertaining pabulum must be conscientiously prepared, and administered in small quantities so that each can be assimilated unconsciously by Youth and Age without mental mastication179. Mind is not Character, and——"
"How true. Character-building publications must never be addressed to mere Mind."
"The uplifting of the Mind, or Intellect," Renwick read on, "is not the general purpose of 'The Family Blessing.' It is by the Literature of the Heart that Character is uplifted. Therefore a general purpose editor of 'The Blessing' must ever seek to maintain and to present the truly cordial. That is what most widely attracts and pleases all these sections of the great American people who are uncorrupted by worldly and literary associations which tend to canker the Soul with cynicism."
"I remember my glow of heart in writing those inspiring, blessed, and inspired words!" she exclaimed. "Moreover, they are true. Now, I think that is about enough, Mr. Renwick. Visitors should never be too long detained by a single attraction. Let me advise you to memorize the discourse carefully. It is cordial. It is impressive. It is informative180 of 'The Blessing's' ideal. It utters my own thoughts in my own language. It is admirably adapted to hold former subscribers, and to confirm new. All is well." She pondered silently a few moments. "Now, Mr. Renwick, I would be strictly just. The fact that an editor, and one of those not long gathered to our happy company, has suggested and devoted himself to this novel attraction, will have noblest effect in rousing our colleagues of every Department to emulative181 exertion182. Once more, I thank you cordially. But the Sole Proprietress of the remunerative 'Blessing' holds her place in trust for all colleagues, and she is not disposed to retire with mere thanks to one who has identified himself so effectually with her and its ideals. Mr. Renwick, your honorarium—your weekly pay envelope," again she paused reflectively, "it will hereafter rank you with our very valued colleague, Mr. Caliphas C. Cummins himself! No—no-no, Mr. Renwick—do not thank me—thank your happy inspiration—thank your cordial devotion—thank your Taste—thank your natural, innate183 identification, in high ideals, with me and 'The Family Blessing.' As for me—it is for me to thank you—and I do so, again, cordially, cordially, cordially!" She beamed, the broad embodiment of Beneficence, in going out of the room.
Renwick long stared, as one dazed, at the story of "The Converted Ringmaster." It related in minute detail the sudden reformation of that sinful official. The account of his rapid change seemed no longer improbable nor mawkish. Any revolution in any mind might occur, since his own had been so swiftly hypnotized into sympathy with Miss Minnely and her emanation "The Blessing." How generous she was! Grateful mist was in his eyes, emotion for the safety of the widows and the orphan184 whose bread he must win.
Yet the derisive demon185 which sat always close to his too sophisticated heart was already gibing186 him afresh:—"You stand engaged," it sneered187, "as assistant ringmaster to Durley's exhibition of yourself!"
New perception of Miss Minnely and Miss Heartly rose in his mind. Could mortal women be really as simple as those two ladies had seemed? Might it not be they had managed him with an irony188 as profound as the ingenuousness189 they had appeared to evince?
The End
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1
intoxicated
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| 喝醉的，极其兴奋的 | |
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2
blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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3
dire
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| adj.可怕的，悲惨的，阴惨的，极端的 | |
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4
starry
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| adj.星光照耀的, 闪亮的 | |
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5
galaxy
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| n.星系；银河系；一群(杰出或著名的人物) | |
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unaware
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| a.不知道的，未意识到的 | |
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versatility
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| n.多才多艺，多样性，多功能 | |
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8
dictate
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| v.口授；(使)听写；指令，指示，命令 | |
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dictated
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| v.大声讲或读( dictate的过去式和过去分词 )；口授；支配；摆布 | |
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10
enlisted
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| adj.应募入伍的v.（使）入伍， （使）参军( enlist的过去式和过去分词 )；获得（帮助或支持） | |
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minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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12
celebrities
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| n.（尤指娱乐界的）名人( celebrity的名词复数 )；名流；名声；名誉 | |
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13
extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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14
assuage
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| v.缓和，减轻，镇定 | |
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yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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16
wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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17
sardonic
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| adj.嘲笑的，冷笑的，讥讽的 | |
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18
sardonically
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| adv.讽刺地，冷嘲地 | |
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19
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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20
aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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ward
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| n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开 | |
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22
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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24
reproof
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| n.斥责，责备 | |
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25
discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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26
murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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27
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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beholding
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| v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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29
posture
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| n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势 | |
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noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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specialty
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| n.(speciality)特性，特质；专业，专长 | |
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32
celebrated
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| adj.有名的，声誉卓著的 | |
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33
specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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34
serials
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| n.连载小说，电视连续剧( serial的名词复数 ) | |
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serial
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| n.连本影片，连本电视节目；adj.连续的 | |
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36
secluded
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| adj.与世隔绝的；隐退的；偏僻的v.使隔开，使隐退( seclude的过去式和过去分词) | |
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37
compartment
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| n.卧车包房，隔间；分隔的空间 | |
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38
inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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39
etiquette
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| n.礼仪，礼节；规矩 | |
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40
strenuous
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| adj.奋发的，使劲的；紧张的；热烈的，狂热的 | |
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41
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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42
truthful
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| adj.真实的，说实话的，诚实的 | |
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43
rebounding
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| 蹦跳运动 | |
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44
gravel
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| n.砂跞；砂砾层；结石 | |
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45
mused
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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46
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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47
mounds
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| 土堆，土丘( mound的名词复数 )； 一大堆 | |
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48
mound
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| n.土墩，堤，小山；v.筑堤，用土堆防卫 | |
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49
bifurcates
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| n.（指道路、河流、树枝等）分岔，分成两支( bifurcate的名词复数 )；使分枝，使分叉；分叉的v.（指道路、河流、树枝等）分岔，分成两支( bifurcate的第三人称单数 )；使分枝，使分叉 | |
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50
truncated
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| adj.切去顶端的，缩短了的，被删节的v.截面的( truncate的过去式和过去分词 )；截头的；缩短了的；截去顶端或末端 | |
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51
cone
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| n.圆锥体，圆锥形东西，球果 | |
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52
severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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53
slants
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| （使）倾斜，歪斜( slant的第三人称单数 )； 有倾向性地编写或报道 | |
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54
gilt
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| adj.镀金的；n.金边证券 | |
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55
prettily
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| adv.优美地；可爱地 | |
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56
dwarf
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| n.矮子，侏儒，矮小的动植物；vt.使…矮小 | |
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57
conspicuously
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| ad.明显地，惹人注目地 | |
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58
laden
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| adj.装满了的；充满了的；负了重担的；苦恼的 | |
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59
demure
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| adj.严肃的；端庄的 | |
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60
simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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61
perennial
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| adj.终年的；长久的 | |
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62
perturbed
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| adj.烦燥不安的v.使（某人）烦恼，不安( perturb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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63
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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64
seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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65
incur
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| vt.招致，蒙受，遭遇 | |
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66
sneers
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| 讥笑的表情（言语）( sneer的名词复数 ) | |
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67
jeer
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| vi.嘲弄，揶揄；vt.奚落；n.嘲笑，讥评 | |
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68
gibe
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| n.讥笑；嘲弄 | |
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69
mawkish
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| adj.多愁善感的的；无味的 | |
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70
squealing
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| v.长声尖叫，用长而尖锐的声音说( squeal的现在分词 ) | |
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71
cynical
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| adj.(对人性或动机)怀疑的，不信世道向善的 | |
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72
satirize
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| v.讽刺 | |
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73
concocting
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| v.将（尤指通常不相配合的）成分混合成某物( concoct的现在分词 )；调制；编造；捏造 | |
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74
exemption
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| n.豁免，免税额，免除 | |
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75
zest
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| n.乐趣；滋味，风味；兴趣 | |
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76
toddled
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| v.（幼儿等）东倒西歪地走( toddle的过去式和过去分词 )；蹒跚行走；溜达；散步 | |
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77
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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78
strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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79
amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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80
chide
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| v.叱责；谴责 | |
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81
monarchs
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| 君主，帝王( monarch的名词复数 ) | |
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82
faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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83
esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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84
recreant
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| n.懦夫；adj.胆怯的 | |
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85
impractical
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| adj.不现实的，不实用的，不切实际的 | |
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86
forsaking
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| 放弃( forsake的现在分词 )； 弃绝； 抛弃； 摒弃 | |
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87
coveted
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| adj.令人垂涎的；垂涎的，梦寐以求的v.贪求，觊觎(covet的过去分词)；垂涎；贪图 | |
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88
aspirants
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| n.有志向或渴望获得…的人( aspirant的名词复数 )v.渴望的，有抱负的，追求名誉或地位的( aspirant的第三人称单数 )；有志向或渴望获得…的人 | |
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89
veering
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| n.改变的；犹豫的；顺时针方向转向；特指使船尾转向上风来改变航向v.（尤指交通工具）改变方向或路线( veer的现在分词 )；（指谈话内容、人的行为或观点）突然改变；（指风） （在北半球按顺时针方向、在南半球按逆时针方向）逐渐转向；风向顺时针转 | |
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90
inferno
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| n.火海；地狱般的场所 | |
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91
descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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92
livelihood
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| n.生计，谋生之道 | |
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93
disquiet
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| n.担心，焦虑 | |
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94
throng
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| n.人群，群众；v.拥挤，群集 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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96
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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97
fabric
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| n.织物，织品，布；构造，结构，组织 | |
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98
garb
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| n.服装，装束 | |
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betokened
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| v.预示，表示( betoken的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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100
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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101
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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102
placid
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| adj.安静的，平和的 | |
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103
placidity
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| n.平静，安静，温和 | |
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104
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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105
peculiarity
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| n.独特性，特色；特殊的东西；怪癖 | |
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106
dilemma
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| n.困境，进退两难的局面 | |
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107
derisive
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| adj.嘲弄的 | |
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108
posturing
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| 做出某种姿势( posture的现在分词 ) | |
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109
allege
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| vt.宣称，申述，主张，断言 | |
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110
conjecture
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| n./v.推测，猜测 | |
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111
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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112
disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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113
sanely
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| ad.神志清楚地 | |
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114
sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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115
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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116
conscientiously
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| adv.凭良心地；认真地，负责尽职地；老老实实 | |
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117
eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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118
ingenuous
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| adj.纯朴的，单纯的；天真的；坦率的 | |
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119
guile
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| n.诈术 | |
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120
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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121
deriding
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| v.取笑，嘲笑( deride的现在分词 ) | |
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122
subtlety
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| n.微妙，敏锐，精巧；微妙之处，细微的区别 | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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125
humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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126
appreciative
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| adj.有鉴赏力的，有眼力的；感激的 | |
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127
gorillas
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| n.大猩猩( gorilla的名词复数 )；暴徒，打手 | |
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deception
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| n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计 | |
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nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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subscription
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| n.预订，预订费，亲笔签名，调配法，下标（处方） | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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pending
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| prep.直到，等待…期间；adj.待定的；迫近的 | |
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fleetingly
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| adv.飞快地，疾驰地 | |
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emulate
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| v.努力赶上或超越，与…竞争；效仿 | |
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graft
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| n.移植，嫁接，艰苦工作，贪污；v.移植，嫁接 | |
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consummate
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| adj.完美的；v.成婚；使完美 [反]baffle | |
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cant
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| n.斜穿，黑话，猛扔 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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141
incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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discoursing
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| 演说（discourse的现在分词形式） | |
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tickled
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| （使）发痒( tickle的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）愉快，逗乐 | |
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edify
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| v.陶冶；教化；启发 | |
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145
culled
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| v.挑选，剔除( cull的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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chuckling
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的现在分词 ) | |
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wooly
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| adj.毛茸茸的；糊涂的 | |
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syrup
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| n.糖浆，糖水 | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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trepidation
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| n.惊恐，惶恐 | |
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revolving
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| adj.旋转的，轮转式的；循环的v.（使）旋转( revolve的现在分词 )；细想 | |
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amplitude
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| n.广大；充足；振幅 | |
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genially
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| adv.亲切地，和蔼地；快活地 | |
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authoritatively
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| 命令式地，有权威地，可信地 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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eminent
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| adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的 | |
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eminently
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| adv.突出地；显著地；不寻常地 | |
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obviating
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| v.避免，消除（贫困、不方便等）( obviate的现在分词 ) | |
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paramount
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| a.最重要的，最高权力的 | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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consultation
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| n.咨询；商量；商议；会议 | |
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imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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judicious
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| adj.明智的，明断的，能作出明智决定的 | |
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syllables
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| n.音节( syllable的名词复数 ) | |
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softens
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| （使）变软( soften的第三人称单数 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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discriminate
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| v.区别，辨别，区分；有区别地对待 | |
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specifying
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| v.指定( specify的现在分词 )；详述；提出…的条件；使具有特性 | |
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168
corps
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| n.(通信等兵种的)部队；(同类作的)一组 | |
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169
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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170
maxim
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| n.格言，箴言 | |
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171
amendment
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| n.改正，修正，改善，修正案 | |
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172
complacently
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| adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
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remunerative
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| adj.有报酬的 | |
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174
jotted
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| v.匆忙记下( jot的过去式和过去分词 )；草草记下，匆匆记下 | |
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175
favourably
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| adv. 善意地，赞成地 =favorably | |
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176
stimulating
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| adj.有启发性的，能激发人思考的 | |
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177
wholesome
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| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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178
accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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179
mastication
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| n.咀嚼 | |
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180
informative
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| adj.提供资料的，增进知识的 | |
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181
emulative
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| adj.好胜 | |
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182
exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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183
innate
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| adj.天生的，固有的，天赋的 | |
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184
orphan
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| n.孤儿；adj.无父母的 | |
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185
demon
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| n.魔鬼，恶魔 | |
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186
gibing
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| adj.讥刺的，嘲弄的v.嘲笑，嘲弄( gibe的现在分词 ) | |
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187
sneered
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| 讥笑，冷笑( sneer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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188
irony
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| n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄 | |
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189
ingenuousness
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| n.率直；正直；老实 | |
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