"Now, let's all be happy," said Miss Lambert; they had finished tea and Belinda was removing the things, "for I must be going in a minute, and I have such a lot of things to say—oh dear me, that reminds me," her under-lip fell slightly.
"What?" asked Leavesley.
"That I'm perfectly1 miserable2."
"Oh, don't say that——"
"My dear young lady——"
"I mean I ought to be perfectly miserable," said Miss Lambert with a charming smile, "but somehow I'm not. Do you know, I never am what I ought to be. When I ought to be happy I'm miserable, and when I ought to be miserable I'm happy. Father says I was addled3 at birth, and that I ought to have been put out of doors on a red-hot shovel4 as they used to do long ago in Ireland with the omadlunns, or was it the changelings—no matter. I wanted to talk to you about father—no, please don't go," to Verneede, who had[Pg 13] made a little movement as if to say "Am I de trop?" "You are both so clever I'm sure you will be able to give me good advice. He's worrying so."
"Ah!" said Mr Verneede, with the air of a physician at a consultation5. He was in his element, he saw a prospect6 of unburthening himself of some of his superfluous7 advice.
"It's this Action," resumed Fanny, as if she were speaking of a tumour8 or carbuncle, "that makes him so bad; I'm getting quite frightened about him."
"Was that the action he spoke9 to me about?" asked Leavesley.
"Which?" asked Fanny.
"The one against a bookseller?"
"Oh no, I think that's settled; it's the one against our cousin, Mr Bevan."
"Ah!"
"It's about the right-of-way—I mean the right of fishing in a stream down in Buckinghamshire. They've spent ever so much money over it, it's worrying father to death, but he won't give it up. I thought perhaps if you spoke to him you might have some influence with him."
"I'd be delighted to do anything," said Leavesley. "What is this man Bevan like?"
[Pg 14]
"Frightfully rich, and a beast."
"That's comprehensive anyhow," said Leavesley.
"Most, most—most clear and comprehensive," concurred10 Mr Verneede.
"I hate him!" said Fanny, her eyes flashing, "and I wish he and his old fish stream were—boiled."
"That would certainly solve the difficulty," said Leavesley, scratching the side of his hand meditatively11.
"And his beastly old solicitor12 too," continued the girl, tenderly lifting a lady-bird, that had somehow got into the studio and on to her knee, on the point of her finger. "Isn't he beautiful?"
"Most," assented13 Leavesley, gazing with an artist's delight at the white tapering14 finger on which the painted and polished insect was balancing preparatory to flight.
"Who is his solicitor, by the way?"
"Mr Hancock of Southampton Row."
"Mr Who?"
"Hancock."
"Why, he's my uncle."
"Oh!" cried Fanny, "I am sorry."
"That he's my uncle?"
[Pg 15]
"No—that I said that——"
"Oh, that doesn't matter. I've often wished him boiled. It's awfully15 funny, though, that he should be this man Bevan's solicitor—very."
"I have an idea," said Verneede, leaning forward in his chair and pressing the points of his fingers together.
"My dear young lady, may I make a suggestion?"
"Yes," said Fanny.
"Two suggestions, I should have said."
"Fire away," cut in Leavesley.
"Well, my dear young lady, if my advice were asked I would first of all say 'dam the stream.'"
"Verneede!" cried Leavesley. "What are you saying?"
"Father's always damning it," replied Miss Lambert with a laugh, "but it doesn't seem to do much good."
"My other suggestion," said Verneede, taken aback at the supposed beaver-like attributes of Mr Lambert, "is this, go in your own person to the friend of my friend Leavesley. I mean the uncle of my friend. Go to Mr Hancock, go to him frankly16, fearlessly, tell him the tale[Pg 16] you have told us; tell it to him with your own lips, in your own manner, with your own charm; say to him 'You are killing17 my father—cease.' Speak to him in your own way, smile at him——"
"That's not a bad idea," said Miss Lambert, turning to Leavesley, who was seated mouth open, aghast at this lunatic proposition.
"That's a splendid idea, and I'll do it."
"Say to him 'Cease!'" continued Verneede, speaking in an inspired voice. "Say to him——"
"Oh, shut up!" cried Leavesley, shaken out of politeness. "Do you know what you're talking about? Hancock is Bevan's solicitor."
"That's just why I'm going to him," said Miss Lambert.
"But it's against all the rules of everything. I'm not sure that it wouldn't be considered tampering18 with—um—Justice."
"It's not a question of justice, it's a question of common-sense," said Miss Lambert.
"Exactly," said Verneede, "common-sense; if this Mr—er—the uncle of my friend Leavesley, is endowed with common-sense and a sense of justice—yes, justice and a feeling for beauty——"
[Pg 17]
"Oh, do stop!" said Leavesley, the prosaic19 vision of James Hancock rising before him.
"What on earth do lawyers know of justice or beauty or——"
"If they don't," replied Fanny, "it's quite time they were taught."
"Quite," concurred Verneede.
When certain chemicals are brought into juxtaposition20 certain results result. So it is with brains. Mr Leavesley for a moment sat contemplating21 the crazy plan propounded22 by Mr Verneede. Then he broke into a laugh. His imagination pictured the interview between Miss Lambert and his uncle.
"Well, go ahead," he said. "Perhaps you're right; I don't know much about the law, but, anyhow, it's not a hanging matter. When are you going?"
"Now," said Miss Lambert, putting on her gloves.
Leavesley looked at his watch.
"You'll scarcely catch him at the office unless you take a cab."
"I'll take a cab. Will you come with me?"
"Yes, rather!"
"Only as far as the door," said Miss Lambert.
[Pg 18]
"It's like going to the dentist; I always take father with me to the dentist's as far as the door, for fear I'd run away. Once I'm in I don't care a bit; it's the going in is the dreadful part."
"I know," said Leavesley, reaching for his hat. "It's like facing the music, the overture23 is the worst part."
"I don't think you'd call it music," said Miss Lambert, "if you heard me at the dentist's when he's working that drill thing—ugh! Come."
They left the studio.
The prospect of having Miss Lambert all alone to himself in a cab made the heart of Mr Leavesley palpitate, mixed emotions filled his soul. Blue funk was the basis of these emotions. He was going to propose, so he told himself, immediately, the instant they were in the cab and the horse had started. That was all very well as a statement made to himself: it did not conceal24 the fact that Miss Lambert was a terribly difficult girl to propose to. One of those jolly girls who treat one as a brother are generally the most difficult to deal with when one approaches them as a lover. But Miss Lambert, besides the fact of her[Pg 19] jollity and her treatment of Mr Leavesley as a brother, had a personality all her own. She seemed to him a combination of the practical and the unpractical in about equal proportions, one could never tell how she would take things.
They walked down the King's Road looking for a cab, Miss Lambert and Verneede engaged in vivacious25 conversation, Leavesley silent, engaged in troubled attempts to think.
I give a few links from the chain of his thoughts just as a specimen26.
"Fanny, I love you—no, I can't say that, it's too bald and brutal27. Miss Lambert, I have long wanted to—oh, rubbish! How would it do to take her hand—I daren't—bother!—does she care a button about me? Perhaps it would be better to put it off till the next time—I'm not going to funk it—may I call you Fanny?—or Fanny—may I call you Fanny? or Miss Lambert may I call you Fanny? How would it be to write? No, I'll do it."
They stopped, Mr Verneede had hailed a cab, and Leavesley came out of his reverie to find a four-wheeler drawing up at the pavement.
[Pg 20]
"Hullo," he said to Verneede, "what did you call that thing for?"
"To drive in," replied Fanny, whilst Verneede opened the door. "Get in, I'm in a horrible fright."
"But," said Leavesley, "a four-wheeler—why not a hansom?"
"No, no," said Miss Lambert, getting into the vehicle, "I hate hansoms, I was thrown out of one once. Besides, this is more respectable. Do get in quick, and tell the man to drive fast; I want to get the agony over."
"Corner of Southampton Row," cried Leavesley to the driver. He got in, Verneede shut the door and stood on the pavement, bowing and smiling in an antiquated28 way as they drove off.
It was a four-wheeler with pretensions29 in the form of maroon30 velveteen cushions and rubber tyres, a would-be imitation brougham, but the old growler blood came out in its voice, every window rattled31. Driving in it, one could hear oneself speak, but conversation with a companion to be intelligible32 had to be conducted in a mild shout.
"I don't in the least know what I'm going to say to him," cried Miss Lambert, leaning[Pg 21] forward towards her companion—he was seated opposite to her on the front seat. "I'm so nervous, I can't think."
"Don't go to him."
"I must, now we've taken the cab."
"Let's go somewhere else."
"Where?"
"Anywhere—Madame Tussaud's."
"No, no, I'm going. Don't let's talk of it, let's talk of something pleasant." She opened her purse, turned its meagre contents into her lap, and examined some bills that were stuffed into a side compartment33.
"What's two-and-six, and three shillings, and eighteen pence?"
"Eight shillings, I think," answered Leavesley after a moment's thought.
"Then I've lost a shilling," pouted34 Miss Lambert, counting her money, replacing it, and closing the purse with a snap. "No matter, let's think of something pleasant. Isn't old Mr Verneede sweet?"
"Fanny," said Leavesley, ignoring the saccharine35 possibilities of Mr Verneede—"may I call you Fanny?"
"Of course, every one does. I say, is this cabman taking us right?"
[Pg 22]
"Yes, quite. What I was going to say," weakly and suddenly, "Fanny, let's go somewhere some day, and have a really good time."
"Where?"
"Up the river—anywhere."
"I'd love to," said Miss Lambert. "I haven't been up the river for ages; let's have a picnic."
"Yes, let's; what day could you come?"
"Any day—at least some day. Some day next week—only father is going away next week, and a picnic would be nothing without him."
"Suppose you and I and Verneede went for a picnic next week?"
"That would be fun," said the girl; "we can make tea—oh, don't let us talk of picnics, I feel miserable. Will he eat me, do you think?"
"Who?"
"Mr Hancock."
"Not he—unless he has the gout, he's perfectly savage36 when he has the gout—I say?"
"What?"
"You'd better not tell him you know me."
"Why?"
[Pg 23]
"Oh, because I've been fighting with him lately. I quarrel with him once in three months or so. If he thought you and I were friends, it might put his back up."
"I'll be mum," said Miss Lambert.
"I'll wait for you at the corner till you come out," said Leavesley, "and tell me, Fanny."
"What?"
"You will come for a picnic, won't you?"
"Rather, if I'm alive. I feel like the young lady of Niger—wasn't it?—who went for a ride on a tiger, just before she saddled it——"
The cab rattled and rumbled37 them at last into Oxford38 Street. At the corner of Southampton Row it stopped. They got out, and Leavesley paid and dismissed the driver.
"That's the house down there," said he, "No. —. I'll wait for you here; don't be long."
"I won't be a minute, at least I'll be as short as I can. Now I'm going."
She tripped off, and Leavesley watched her flitting by the grim, business-like houses. She turned for a second, glanced back, and then No. — engulfed39 her.
Leavesley waited, trying to picture to himself[Pg 24] the interview that was in progress. Trying to fancy what Miss Lambert was saying to Mr James Hancock, and what Mr James Hancock was saying to Miss Lambert.
Surely no one in London could have suggested such a proceeding40 except Verneede, a proceeding so hopelessly insane from a business point of view.
To call on your adversary's solicitor, and tell him to cease because he was worrying your father to death!
Besides, Lambert was the man who ought to cease, because it was Lambert who was the plaintiff.
Punching a man's head, and then telling him to cease!
Mr Leavesley burst into a laugh that caused a passing old lady to hurry on her way.
He waited. Five minutes passed, ten, fifteen; what was happening?
It was nearly closing time at the office. Twenty minutes passed. Could James Hancock really have devoured41 Fanny in a fit of gout and irritation42?
He saw Bridgewater, the old chief clerk, come out and make off down Southampton Row with a bag in his hand.
[Pg 25]
Three-quarters of an hour had gone, and Leavesley had taken his watch out for the twentieth time, when from the doorway43 of No. — Fanny appeared, a glimmer44 of blue like a butterfly just broken from its chrysalis.
Leavesley made two steps towards her, then he paused. Immediately after Fanny came James Hancock, umbrella in hand, and hat on the back of his head.
He was accompanying her.
Fanny glanced in Leavesley's direction, and then she and her companion walked away down Southampton Row, Hancock walking with his long stride; Fanny trotting45 beside him, neither, apparently46, speaking one to the other.
Leavesley followed full of amazement47.
He could tell from his uncle's manner of walking, and from the way he wore his hat, that he was either irritated or perplexed48. He walked hurriedly, and, viewed from behind, he had the appearance of a physician who was going to an urgent case.
Much marvelling49, the artist followed. He saw Hancock hail a passing four-wheeler, and open the door. Fanny got in, her companion gave some directions to the driver,[Pg 26] got in after the girl, closed the door, and the cab drove off.
"Now, what on earth can this mean?" asked Mr Leavesley, taking off his hat and drawing his hand across his brow.
Disgust at being robbed of Fanny struggled in his mind with a feeling of pure, unadulterated wonder.
点击收听单词发音
1 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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2 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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3 addled | |
adj.(头脑)糊涂的,愚蠢的;(指蛋类)变坏v.使糊涂( addle的过去式和过去分词 );使混乱;使腐臭;使变质 | |
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4 shovel | |
n.铁锨,铲子,一铲之量;v.铲,铲出 | |
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5 consultation | |
n.咨询;商量;商议;会议 | |
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6 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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7 superfluous | |
adj.过多的,过剩的,多余的 | |
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8 tumour | |
n.(tumor)(肿)瘤,肿块 | |
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9 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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10 concurred | |
同意(concur的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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11 meditatively | |
adv.冥想地 | |
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12 solicitor | |
n.初级律师,事务律师 | |
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13 assented | |
同意,赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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14 tapering | |
adj.尖端细的 | |
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15 awfully | |
adv.可怕地,非常地,极端地 | |
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16 frankly | |
adv.坦白地,直率地;坦率地说 | |
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17 killing | |
n.巨额利润;突然赚大钱,发大财 | |
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18 tampering | |
v.窜改( tamper的现在分词 );篡改;(用不正当手段)影响;瞎摆弄 | |
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19 prosaic | |
adj.单调的,无趣的 | |
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20 juxtaposition | |
n.毗邻,并置,并列 | |
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21 contemplating | |
深思,细想,仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 ); 注视,凝视; 考虑接受(发生某事的可能性); 深思熟虑,沉思,苦思冥想 | |
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22 propounded | |
v.提出(问题、计划等)供考虑[讨论],提议( propound的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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23 overture | |
n.前奏曲、序曲,提议,提案,初步交涉 | |
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24 conceal | |
v.隐藏,隐瞒,隐蔽 | |
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25 vivacious | |
adj.活泼的,快活的 | |
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26 specimen | |
n.样本,标本 | |
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27 brutal | |
adj.残忍的,野蛮的,不讲理的 | |
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28 antiquated | |
adj.陈旧的,过时的 | |
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29 pretensions | |
自称( pretension的名词复数 ); 自命不凡; 要求; 权力 | |
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30 maroon | |
v.困住,使(人)处于孤独无助之境;n.逃亡黑奴;孤立的人;酱紫色,褐红色;adj.酱紫色的,褐红色的 | |
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31 rattled | |
慌乱的,恼火的 | |
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32 intelligible | |
adj.可理解的,明白易懂的,清楚的 | |
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33 compartment | |
n.卧车包房,隔间;分隔的空间 | |
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34 pouted | |
v.撅(嘴)( pout的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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35 saccharine | |
adj.奉承的,讨好的 | |
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36 savage | |
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人 | |
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37 rumbled | |
发出隆隆声,发出辘辘声( rumble的过去式和过去分词 ); 轰鸣着缓慢行进; 发现…的真相; 看穿(阴谋) | |
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38 Oxford | |
n.牛津(英国城市) | |
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39 engulfed | |
v.吞没,包住( engulf的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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40 proceeding | |
n.行动,进行,(pl.)会议录,学报 | |
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41 devoured | |
吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 ); 耗尽; 津津有味地看; 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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42 irritation | |
n.激怒,恼怒,生气 | |
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43 doorway | |
n.门口,(喻)入门;门路,途径 | |
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44 glimmer | |
v.发出闪烁的微光;n.微光,微弱的闪光 | |
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45 trotting | |
小跑,急走( trot的现在分词 ); 匆匆忙忙地走 | |
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46 apparently | |
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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47 amazement | |
n.惊奇,惊讶 | |
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48 perplexed | |
adj.不知所措的 | |
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49 marvelling | |
v.惊奇,对…感到惊奇( marvel的现在分词 ) | |
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