“Yes,” said Gilbert; “I always enjoy fun, and especially now when I have lost my place, since it will help me to forget my bad luck. Is there anything up?”
“Yes; we are going to play a practical joke on Alphonso Jones. We are going to gratify his taste for associating with the aristocracy.”
“What is your plan?”
“I have discovered in Bleecker Street a stylish1 barber, who has a smattering of French. In feet, he has served me more than once. He has entered into our plot, and agreed to personate a French count—the Count de Montmorency.”
200“Good!” said Gilbert, laughing. “When are the two to be brought together?”
“This very evening, in our room. I shall despatch2 a note to Mr. Jones during the day, inviting3 him to meet my illustrious visitor. Hayward and Kennedy are in the secret, and will be present also. Of course you will be with us, but you must keep on a straight face.”
“Never fear for me,” said Gilbert. “I will take care not to let the cat out of the bag.”
In conformity4 with the plan, Mr. Alphonso Jones received, during the day, the following note:—
“Dear Mr. Jones,—I shall be glad if you will favor me with your company this evening, in my room. I have been fortunate enough to make the acquaintance of an illustrious French nobleman, Count Ernest de Montmorency, who, in the most condescending5 manner, has accepted an invitation to spend this evening with me. You will find him very affable and agreeable, notwithstanding his superiority in social rank. I feel a little diffident about receiving 201him, not being so well up in the usages of fashionable society as you are—I rely on you to help me out. I have invited Hayward and Kennedy also to be present. Greyson will, of course, be with us. If you have any other engagement, break it for my sake.
“Yours truly,
“W. Ingalls.”
The face of Jones was overspread with smiles as he read this epistle, and he felt at least a foot taller. He could conceive of nothing more glorious than to be introduced to a foreign nobleman. Once in his life it had been his privilege to make the acquaintance of a brigadier-general, who had given him two fingers to shake, and said, “I am glad to meet you, sir.” Most of the fashionable acquaintances of whom he boasted had no existence save in his imagination, but this general was a reality; he was only a general of volunteers, but that made no difference to Alphonso; he had managed hundreds of times to make capital of his greatness in some such way as this: 202“My friend, General Smith, remarked to me one day;” or, “Speaking of brave men reminds me of my intimate friend, General Smith.” But even General Smith was not for a moment to be compared to the Count Ernest de Montmorency; there was something peculiarly high-toned in the name, Alphonso thought. So thought Mr. Ingalls, or he would have invented some other.
Alphonso was anxious to communicate to some one else the honor in store for him; he would like to have gone to his employer at once, and said, “Mr. Simpson, I am to meet the Count de Montmorency this evening.” This, however, even to Alphonso, seemed rather an abrupt6 and uncalled-for announcement, and he had to consider how best to manage the matter, for he was determined7 that Mr. Simpson should know it. It was not entirely8 easy, but finally a bright and satisfactory idea dawned upon the happy Jones.
He went up to the desk, behind which his employer, a stout9, practical man of business, was sitting, and coughed by the way of arresting his attention.
203“Eh, Mr. Jones, did you wish to speak to me?” inquired Mr. Simpson.
“Yes, sir,” said Alphonso; “would you be kind enough to let me leave the store half an hour earlier than usual?”
“If you have a good reason, Mr. Jones; are you sick?”
“No, sir, my health is excellent, thank you. The fact is, sir, I have an invitation to meet the noble count, Count Ernest de Montmorency, this evening, and—”
“The—what?” exclaimed his employer, arching his brows.
“A French nobleman, sir—the Count Ernest de Montmorency,” repeated Alphonso, trying not to betray too strongly his inward exultation10.
“What time are you going to meet him?”
“This evening, sir, but I wish time to dress properly.”
“Well, I don’t know that I have any objection,” said the merchant, deliberately11. “Where is this count stopping?”
204“I don’t know exactly, sir; but probably at the Brevoort House or the Clarendon.”
“Very well, you can go. Business is not pressing, and you can be spared. But, hark you, Mr. Jones, one word of advice.”
“Certainly, sir.”
“If this count wants to borrow money of you, don’t lend him.”
“I am sure he wouldn’t ask such a thing,” said Alphonso, shocked at the idea. “Why, he possesses a beautiful chateau12 and an immense estate in France!”
Here Alphonso drew upon his imagination for what he considered to be probable enough.
“They all say so,” said the practical Simpson, “even when they haven’t twenty-five cents to bless themselves with. My advice may be needed, after all.”
Alphonso was rather disgusted by this caution, which seemed so derogatory to the character and position of a nobleman; but he, after some reflection, attributed it to Mr. Simpson’s disappointment in not 205himself enjoying the privilege of being invited to meet the count.
“Mr. Kidder,” he said to a fellow-clerk, “what do you think of my necktie?”
“It looks well enough—why?”
“I was wondering whether it would do to wear this evening.”
“What’s up this evening?”
“I am invited to meet the Count Ernest de Montmorency, as you will see by this note.”
“Strange Ingalls didn’t invite me,” said Kidder. “When did he pick up the count?”
“Really, Mr. Kidder, that is a singular way of speaking,—picking up the count,” protested Alphonso.
“I have no great respect for French counts,” said Kidder. “They don’t generally amount to much.”
“He’s jealous, too,” said Alphonso to himself, complacently13. “It is clear he envies me my invitation.”
“What do you think I ought to wear, Mr. Kidder?” he asked.
206“Dress suit and white tie, of course.”
“So I think. I’m really sorry I can’t take you with me, Kidder.”
“Oh, I couldn’t go to-night. I’ve got a ticket to the theatre.”
“I’d rather meet the count than go to forty theatres,” thought Alphonso. “Wouldn’t it be a splendid thing if he should take a fancy to me, and invite me to visit him at his chateau in la belle14 France?”
Alphonso made so many mistakes during the remainder of the day that he might have been spared considerably15 sooner without detriment16 to the business.
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1
stylish
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| adj.流行的，时髦的；漂亮的，气派的 | |
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2
despatch
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| n./v.(dispatch)派遣；发送；n.急件；新闻报道 | |
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3
inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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4
conformity
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| n.一致，遵从，顺从 | |
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5
condescending
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| adj.谦逊的,故意屈尊的 | |
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6
abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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7
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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8
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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10
exultation
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| n.狂喜，得意 | |
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11
deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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12
chateau
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| n.城堡，别墅 | |
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13
complacently
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| adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
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14
belle
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| n.靓女 | |
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15
considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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16
detriment
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| n.损害；损害物，造成损害的根源 | |
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