"Ah, Jasper, lad," cried Tom Stafford, and struck him upon his shoulder, "lying in wait for us? Gad3, you're a blood-thirsty fellow!"
"And quite right," said Colonel Villiers, clinking spurred legs, and flinging off a military cloak. "Zounds, man, would you have him sit down in his dishonour4?"
Sir Jasper stretched a hand to each; and holding him by the elbows they entered his private apartment and closed the door with such carefulness that the tall footman had no choice but to take it in turns to listen and peep through the key-hole.
"Tom," said Sir Jasper, "Colonel Villiers, when I begged you to favour me with this interview, I was anxious for your services because, as I told you, of a strong suspicion of Lady Standish's infidelity to me. Now, gentlemen, doubt is no longer possible, I have the proofs!"
"Come, come, Jasper, never be down-hearted," cried jovial5 Tom Stafford. "Come, sir, you have been too fond of the little dears in your day not to know what tender yielding creatures they are. 'Tis their nature man; and then, must they not follow the mode? Do you want to be the only husband in Bath whose wife is not in the fashion? Tut, tut, so long as you can measure a sword for it and let a little blood, why, 'tis all in the day's fun!"
"Swords?" gurgled Colonel Villiers. "No, no, pistols are the thing, boy. You are never sure with your sword: 'tis but a dig in the ribs6, a slash7 in the arm, and your pretty fellow looks all the prettier for his pallor, and is all the more likely to get prompt consolation8 in the proper quarter. Ha!"
"Consolation!" cried Sir Jasper, as if the word were a blow. "Ay, consolation! damnation!"
"Whereas with your bullet," said the Colonel, "in the lungs, or in the brain—at your choice—the job is done as neat as can be. Are you a good hand at the barkers, Jasper?"
"Oh, I can hit a haystack!" said Sir Jasper. But he spoke9 vaguely10.
"I am for the swords, whenever you can," cried comely11 Stafford, crossing a pair of neat legs as he spoke and caressing12 one rounded calf13 with a loving hand. "'Tis a far more genteel weapon. Oh, for the feel of the blades, the pretty talk, as it were, of one with the other! 'Ha, have I got you now, my friend?'—'Ha, would you step between me and my wife? or my mistress? or my pleasure?'—as the case may be. 'Would you? I will teach you, sa—sa!' Now—now one in the ribs! One under that presuming heart! Let the red blood flow, see it drop from the steel: that is something like! Pistols, what of them! pooh! Snap, you blow a pill into the air, and 'tis like enough you have to swallow it yourself! 'Tis for apothecaries14, say I, and such as have not been brought up to the noble and gentlemanly art of self-defence."
"Silence, Tom," growled15 the Colonel; "here is no matter for jesting. This friend of ours has had a mortal affront17, has he not? 'Tis established. Shall he not mortally avenge18 himself upon him who has robbed him of his honour? That is the case, is it not? And, blast me, is not the pistol the deadlier weapon and therefore the most suited? Hey?"
Sir Jasper made an inarticulate sound that might have passed for assent19 or dissent20, or merely as an expression of excessive discomfort21 of feeling.
"To business then," cried Colonel Villiers. "Shall I wait upon Lord Verney and suggest pistols at seven o'clock to-morrow morning in Hammer's Fields? That is where I generally like to place such affairs: snug22 enough to be out of disturbers' way, and far enough to warm the blood with a brisk walk. Gad, 'twas but ten days ago that I saw poor Ned Waring laid as neatly23 on his back by Lord Tipstaffe (him they call Tipsy Tip, you know) as ever it was done; as pretty a fight! Six paces, egad, and Ned as determined24 a dog as a fellow could want to second. 'Villiers,' said he, as I handed him his saw-handle, 'if I do not do for him, may he do for me! One of us must kill the other,' said he. 'Twas all about Mistress Waring, you know, dashed pretty woman! Poor Ned, he made a discovery something like yours, eh? Faith! ha, ha! And devil take it, sir, Tip had him in the throat at the first shot, and Ned's bullet took off Tipstaffe's right curl! Jove, it was a shave! Ned never spoke again. Ah, leave it to me; see if I do not turn you out as rare a meeting."
"But stay," cried Stafford, as Sir Jasper writhed25 in his arm-chair, clenched26 and unclenched furious hands and felt the curl of red hair burn him where he had thrust it into his bosom27. "Stay," cried Stafford, "we are going too fast, I think. Do I not understand from our friend here that he called Lord Verney a rat? Sir Jasper is therefore himself the insulting party, and must wait for Lord Verney's action in the matter."
"I protest," cried the Colonel, "the first insult was Lord Verney's in compromising our friend's wife."
"Pooh, pooh," exclaimed Stafford, recrossing his legs to bring the left one into shapely prominence28 this time, "that is but the insult incidental. But to call a man a rat, that is the insult direct. Jasper is therefore the true challenger; the other has the choice of arms. It is for Lord Verney to send to our friend!"
"Sir!" exclaimed the Colonel, growing redder about the gills than Nature and port wine had already made him. "Sir, would you know better than I?"
"Gentlemen," said Sir Jasper, sitting up suddenly, "as I have just told you, since I craved29 of your kindness that you would help me in this matter, I have made discoveries that alter the complexion30 of the affair very materially. I have reason to believe that if Lord Verney be guilty in this matter it is in a very minor31 way. You know what they call in France un chandelier. Indeed it is my conviction—such is female artfulness—that he has merely been made a puppet of to shield another person. It is this person I must find first, and upon him that my vengeance32 must fall before I can attend to any other business. Lord Verney indeed has already sent to me, but his friend, Captain Spicer, a poor fool (somewhat weak in the head, I believe), left suddenly without our coming to any conclusion. Indeed, I do not regret it—I do not seek to fight with Lord Verney now. Gentlemen," said Sir Jasper, rising and drawing the letter from his breast—"gentlemen, I shall neither eat nor sleep till I have found out the owner of this curl!"
He shook out the letter as he spoke, and fiercely thrust the tell-tale love-token under the noses of his amazed friends. "It is a red-haired man, you see! There lives no red-haired man in Bath but him I must forthwith spit or plug lest the villain33 escape me!"
Colonel Villiers started to his feet with a growl16 like that of a tiger aroused from slumber34.
"Zounds!" he exclaimed. "An insult."
"How!" cried Jasper, turning upon him and suddenly noticing the sandy hue35 of his friend's bushy eyebrows36. "You, good God! You? Pooh, pooh, impossible, and yet.... Colonel Villiers, Sir!" cried Sir Jasper, in awful tones, "did you write this letter? Speak! Yes or no, man! Speak, or must I drag the words from your throat?"
Purple and apoplectic37 passion well-nigh stifled38 Colonel Villiers.
"Stafford, Stafford," he spluttered, "you are witness. These are gross affronts39, affronts which shall be wiped out."
"Did you write that letter? Yes or no!" screamed Sir Jasper, shaking the offending document in the Colonel's convulsed countenance40.
"I?" cried the Colonel, and struck away Sir Jasper's hand with a furious blow, "I? I write such brimstone nonsense? No, sir! Now, damn you body and soul, Sir Jasper, how dare you ask me such a question?"
"No," said Sir Jasper, "of course not! Ah, I am a fool, Villiers. Forgive me. There's no quarrel between us! No, of course it could not be you! With that nose, that waistcoat, your sixty years! Gad, I am going mad!"
"Why, man," said Stafford, as soon as he could speak for laughing, "Villiers has not so much hair on all his head as you hold in your hand there. Off with your wig41, Villiers, off with your wig, and let your bald pate42 proclaim its shining innocence43."
The gallant44 gentleman thus addressed was by this time black in the face. Panting as to breath, disjointed as to speech, his fury had nevertheless its well-defined purpose.
"I have been insulted, I have been insulted," he gasped45; "the matter cannot end here. Sir Jasper, you have insulted me. I am a red-haired man, sir. I shall send a friend to call upon you."
"Nay46, then," said Sir Jasper, "since 'tis so between us I will even assure myself that Tom has spoken the truth and give you something to fight for!" He stretched out his hand as he spoke, and plucked the wig from Colonel Villiers' head.
Before him indeed spread so complete an expanse of hairless candour, that further evidence was not necessary; yet the few limp hairs that lingered behind the Colonel's ears, if they had once been ruddy, shone now meekly47 silver in the candle-light.
"I thank you," said Sir Jasper, "that is sufficient. When you send your friend to call upon me, I shall receive him with pleasure." He handed back the Colonel's wig with a bow.
The Colonel stood trembling, his knotted hand instinctively48 fumbled49 for his sword. But remembering perhaps that this was eminently50 a case for pistols, he bethought himself, seized his wig, clapped it on defiantly51, settled it with minute care, glared, wheeled round and left the room, muttering as he went remarks of so sulphurous a nature as to defy recording52.
Sir Jasper did not seem to give him another thought. He fell into his chair again and spread out upon his knee the sorely crumpled53 letter.
"Confusion!" said he. Who can it be? "Tom, you scamp, I know your hair is brown. Thou art not the man, Tom. Oh, Tom, oh, Tom, if I do not kill him I shall go mad!"
Stafford was weak with laughter, and tears rolled from his eyes as he gasped:
"Let us see, who can the Judas be? (Gad, this is the best joke I have known for years. Oh, Lord, the bald head of him! Oh, Jasper, 'tis cruel funny! Stab me, sir, if I have known a better laugh these ten years!) Nay, nay, I will help thee. Come, there's his Lordship the Bishop54 of Bath and Wells, he is red, I know, for I have seen him in the water. Gad, he was like a boiled lobster55, hair and all. Could it be he, think you? They have a way, these divines, and Lady Standish has a delicate conscience. She would like the approval of the Church upon her deeds. Nay, never glare like that, for I will not fight you! Have you not got your rosary of red polls to tell first. Ha! there is O'Hara, he is Irish enough and rake enough and red enough. Oh, he is red enough!"
"O'Hara," cried Sir Jasper, struck.
There came a fine rat-tat-tat at the door, a parley56 in the hall, and the servant announced Mr. Denis O'Hara.
"Talk of the devil," said Stafford.
Sir Jasper rose from his armchair with the air of one whose enemy is delivered into his hands.
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1
seething
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| 沸腾的，火热的 | |
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brew
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| v.酿造，调制 | |
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gad
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| n.闲逛；v.闲逛 | |
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4
dishonour
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| n./vt.拒付（支票、汇票、票据等）；vt.凌辱，使丢脸；n.不名誉，耻辱，不光彩 | |
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5
jovial
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| adj.快乐的，好交际的 | |
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6
ribs
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| n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 )；（船或屋顶等的）肋拱；肋骨状的东西；（织物的）凸条花纹 | |
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7
slash
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| vi.大幅度削减；vt.猛砍，尖锐抨击，大幅减少；n.猛砍，斜线，长切口，衣衩 | |
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8
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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9
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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10
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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11
comely
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| adj.漂亮的，合宜的 | |
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12
caressing
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| 爱抚的，表现爱情的，亲切的 | |
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13
calf
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| n.小牛，犊，幼仔，小牛皮 | |
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14
apothecaries
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| n.药剂师，药店( apothecary的名词复数 ) | |
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15
growled
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| v.（动物）发狺狺声， （雷）作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 )；低声咆哮着说 | |
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16
growl
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| v.（狗等）嗥叫，（炮等）轰鸣；n.嗥叫，轰鸣 | |
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17
affront
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| n./v.侮辱，触怒 | |
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18
avenge
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| v.为...复仇，为...报仇 | |
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19
assent
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| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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20
dissent
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| n./v.不同意，持异议 | |
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21
discomfort
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| n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便 | |
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22
snug
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| adj.温暖舒适的，合身的，安全的；v.使整洁干净，舒适地依靠，紧贴；n.（英）酒吧里的私房 | |
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23
neatly
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| adv.整洁地，干净地，灵巧地，熟练地 | |
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24
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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25
writhed
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| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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26
clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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27
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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28
prominence
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| n.突出；显著；杰出；重要 | |
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29
craved
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| 渴望，热望( crave的过去式 )； 恳求，请求 | |
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30
complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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31
minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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32
vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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34
slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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35
hue
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| n.色度；色调；样子 | |
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36
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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37
apoplectic
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| adj.中风的；愤怒的；n.中风患者 | |
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38
stifled
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| （使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵 | |
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39
affronts
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| n.（当众）侮辱，（故意）冒犯( affront的名词复数 )v.勇敢地面对( affront的第三人称单数 )；相遇 | |
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40
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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41
wig
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| n.假发 | |
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42
pate
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| n.头顶；光顶 | |
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43
innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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44
gallant
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| adj.英勇的，豪侠的；(向女人)献殷勤的 | |
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45
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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46
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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47
meekly
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| adv.温顺地，逆来顺受地 | |
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48
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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49
fumbled
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| （笨拙地）摸索或处理（某事物）( fumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 乱摸，笨拙地弄； 使落下 | |
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50
eminently
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| adv.突出地；显著地；不寻常地 | |
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51
defiantly
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| adv.挑战地，大胆对抗地 | |
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52
recording
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| n.录音，记录 | |
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53
crumpled
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| adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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54
bishop
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| n.主教，（国际象棋）象 | |
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55
lobster
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| n.龙虾，龙虾肉 | |
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56
parley
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| n.谈判 | |
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