And now, for the first time, her brain had found a mate, a fact the more wonderful and beatific18 because it was the one glory of which she had never dreamed even in those days when she took refuge in dreams. She determined to forge a deep and mysterious bond with the ego19 of this man, whom, had she been fifteen years younger and unblackened by life, she fancied she might have loved and married. She had had everything else; now she would have only the highest.
At first she could hardly formulate20 her wants, for the spiritual desires are very elusive21, especially when the brain is fed. Indeed, the line between the mental and the spiritual desires is so fine that the spirit, the soul, is, no doubt, merely the brain raised to a higher and more intense degree both of desire and expression; it has its most comprehensible illustration in the exalted23 pitch it sometimes reaches under the influence of music, of Nature in the major mood, the account of some stirring and heroical deed. In other words, the soul is the brain in its best moments, when most nearly free of the flesh. It may be that these moments illuminate24 for a second the misty25 horizon which obscures the walls of death.
Fortunately there were few if any homely26 details to dissipate the magic halo flung around this relationship. After all, Ordham had no real rights, no authority, save such as she tacitly granted him. Her cook was a personage of variety and attainments27; her household ran on wheels oiled and invisible; society, with its trivial and levelling interruptions, was away; the ugly adder28 of money could never rear its head between them. If ever the opportunity was granted a woman to snatch a poem out of the vast prose heap of life, it was Margarethe’s, and she had never at any time been the woman to oppose a desire that assailed29 her in full strength. She would have been the first to make it clear that if she had “reformed,” it was because she had outgrown30 the lower offerings of her nature and found the higher more interesting and satisfying.
Ordham realized sharply enough later that if he did not love her at this time it was because she pressed down the eyelids31 of his drowsy32 passions, his indolent senses; but as the weeks passed he vaguely33 understood that he was happy, and that only her insistent34 spurring made him stick to his studies and prepare for a future in which at times he quite lost interest, so perfect was the present. Styr had resisted the demoniacal teasings of her vanity, but she had no intention of denying it rights both natural and harmless; and being a woman as well versed35 in man as Mercator in the surfaces of Earth, she knew exactly how far to go, when to dazzle and allure36 him with glimpses of the hidden treasures in both their natures. To have been always merely the good comrade, sexless, the artist dwelling37 in regions remote from the common interests of life, would have been as fatal as to have laid down all her arms with a sigh and confessed herself the eternal woman. There were times when they quarrelled violently; and, indeed, being mistress of many moods, and not sparing in the use of them, she gave him no opportunity to tire of her and long for the wide circle in which he had hitherto fed his love of variety. She even made him accept an occasional invitation to a castle, and they took many little excursions into the country, where they read and talked and fell silent under the trees of the woods, or on the shores of some lake with a chain of Alps glittering in the distance. For the purposes of a romantic friendship Bavaria is unexcelled!
But if Ordham, owing to his languid temperament38 and overdeveloped mind, was immature39 in character and torpid40 in those recesses41 of his masculinity inaccessible42 to any currents not sent out by the heart, he was by no means blind. Although too indolent and too content to analyze43 deeply, even as time went on, there were moments, generally as he sat by his window at midnight, or loitered up the Isar in the small hours, when he speculated upon the possibility of falling in love with this woman, when his mind was even briefly44 lit up with the suspicion that he would love her now, were she not so supremely45 indifferent to the unwilling46 fascination47 he had exercised over some other women. But while in other circumstances this fact alone might have piqued48 his vanity into storming that citadel49 prisoning all the mysteries of her sex, by this time he was quite determined to marry between his examinations and his first diplomatic appointment; and the mere22 thought of a love affair with Margarethe Styr, rousing him to his depths as it must, and absorbing every faculty50, filled him with terror. She must always be in his life; no girl and her millions should interfere51 for a moment with this wonderful relationship he had established with the most wonderful of women; but to love her would mean hurricanes and earthquakes in his inner life, whose mere vision not only alarmed the lotus eater in him, but cast an ominous52 cloud of warning over his future. He might forget it at times, but more and more the uneasy sense of the necessity to provide for that future before it was too late recurred53 to him under the renewed if gentle manipulation of his mother.
Once he went so far as to resolve that if he detected a disposition54 on her part to deepen their intimacy, he should leave for England by the next train. This resolution took form one Sunday afternoon when he was returning from a visit to Princess Nachmeister, established for a few weeks in her castle, splendidly poised55 above lake and woods in the Alps of Tyrol. There had been a large house party, and he had felt frivolous56 and worldly and irresponsible, in all respects much as he had felt before he met the woman with whom he had found so many more resources than he had dreamed existed in human intercourse57. Nachmeister had made a lion of him, had informed her guests, among whom were dignitaries of state, that he was the cleverest young man in Europe, and certain of wielding58 the baton59 in the diplomatic orchestra during her lifetime. He was fancying himself mightily60.
Nevertheless, he went at once to the villa61 by the Isar, for he never broke an appointment with its chatelaine. He found Styr in a villanous temper. She had received a late summons to sing in the Hof at midnight for the King. When she unceremoniously turned him out, he was glad to go, and wondered that he could have apprehended62 sentiment in this sullen7, angry, almost ugly woman, who, after a separation of nearly three days, had scarcely a word for him. She had communicated with him in whispers, which forced his own voice down to the same artificial register, and made him feel as absurd as, no doubt, he looked.
“Good-by,” she had whispered in the hall, where he happened to have met her (he had his own gate key); “come to-morrow. I am in the right frame of mind to sing Kundry! I shall pinch Parsifal when I get him under my mantle63, and he won’t dare scream. The idea of commanding a performance of Parsifal in this weather!”
“Oh, well,” he whispered back consolingly, “you haven’t sung for a month, and your voice might get rusty64.”
“Go away.”
As Ordham, half an hour later, strolled up the Maximilianstrasse, admiring the brown fairy-like palace on its terraces at the end of the perspective (which always looked to him as if it might have been dreamed by some homesick Italian poet), he was pricked65 by a sudden longing to go and call on a girl. He cared little for girls as a rule, and was well content to be approved by women of the world; but, after all, he was very young, and the mere youth in him moved restlessly now and again as if with an unappeased, if intermittent66, hunger. At Princess Nachmeister’s castle he had flirted67 with three or four charming married women, and upon his return he had hastened to the side of the mortal he liked best on earth. But—well—he would have loved an hour of nonsense, a game of tennis, a gay meaningless flirtation68 with an innocent light-headed and extravagantly69 pretty girl. He wondered if the youth in him would last much longer. Had not Styr petted and spoilt him when the mood took her he should have felt quite forty. And he would have enjoyed that extraordinary friendship the more for the occasional relief of a shallow but charming girl. But girls in Munich were as scarce as praise from his Lutz. The thought of her was like a sudden bracing70 wind out of the northeast. At least he was making progress under her lash71 that would enable him to face the board of examiners before the end of the summer with few misgivings72. He also had taken up French again, and he delved73 for two hours a day in the other lores prescribed by the guardians74 of the diplomatic service; so that after all the time left at his disposal for regrets and analysis was limited.

点击
收听单词发音

1
recluse
![]() |
|
n.隐居者 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
2
intimacy
![]() |
|
n.熟悉,亲密,密切关系,亲昵的言行 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
3
irresistible
![]() |
|
adj.非常诱人的,无法拒绝的,无法抗拒的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
4
longing
![]() |
|
n.(for)渴望 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
5
brute
![]() |
|
n.野兽,兽性 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
6
sullenly
![]() |
|
不高兴地,绷着脸,忧郁地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
7
sullen
![]() |
|
adj.愠怒的,闷闷不乐的,(天气等)阴沉的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
8
ferocious
![]() |
|
adj.凶猛的,残暴的,极度的,十分强烈的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
9
scented
![]() |
|
adj.有香味的;洒香水的;有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
10
vocal
![]() |
|
adj.直言不讳的;嗓音的;n.[pl.]声乐节目 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
11
accomplished
![]() |
|
adj.有才艺的;有造诣的;达到了的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
12
passionate
![]() |
|
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
13
determined
![]() |
|
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
14
rupture
![]() |
|
n.破裂;(关系的)决裂;v.(使)破裂 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
15
revelling
![]() |
|
v.作乐( revel的现在分词 );狂欢;着迷;陶醉 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
16
condemned
![]() |
|
adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
17
essentially
![]() |
|
adv.本质上,实质上,基本上 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
18
beatific
![]() |
|
adj.快乐的,有福的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
19
ego
![]() |
|
n.自我,自己,自尊 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
20
formulate
![]() |
|
v.用公式表示;规划;设计;系统地阐述 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
21
elusive
![]() |
|
adj.难以表达(捉摸)的;令人困惑的;逃避的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
22
mere
![]() |
|
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
23
exalted
![]() |
|
adj.(地位等)高的,崇高的;尊贵的,高尚的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
24
illuminate
![]() |
|
vt.照亮,照明;用灯光装饰;说明,阐释 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
25
misty
![]() |
|
adj.雾蒙蒙的,有雾的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
26
homely
![]() |
|
adj.家常的,简朴的;不漂亮的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
27
attainments
![]() |
|
成就,造诣; 获得( attainment的名词复数 ); 达到; 造诣; 成就 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
28
adder
![]() |
|
n.蝰蛇;小毒蛇 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
29
assailed
![]() |
|
v.攻击( assail的过去式和过去分词 );困扰;质问;毅然应对 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
30
outgrown
![]() |
|
长[发展] 得超过(某物)的范围( outgrow的过去分词 ); 长[发展]得不能再要(某物); 长得比…快; 生长速度超过 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
31
eyelids
![]() |
|
n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 );眼睛也不眨一下;不露声色;面不改色 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
32
drowsy
![]() |
|
adj.昏昏欲睡的,令人发困的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
33
vaguely
![]() |
|
adv.含糊地,暖昧地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
34
insistent
![]() |
|
adj.迫切的,坚持的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
35
versed
![]() |
|
adj. 精通,熟练 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
36
allure
![]() |
|
n.诱惑力,魅力;vt.诱惑,引诱,吸引 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
37
dwelling
![]() |
|
n.住宅,住所,寓所 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
38
temperament
![]() |
|
n.气质,性格,性情 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
39
immature
![]() |
|
adj.未成熟的,发育未全的,未充分发展的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
40
torpid
![]() |
|
adj.麻痹的,麻木的,迟钝的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
41
recesses
![]() |
|
n.壁凹( recess的名词复数 );(工作或业务活动的)中止或暂停期间;学校的课间休息;某物内部的凹形空间v.把某物放在墙壁的凹处( recess的第三人称单数 );将(墙)做成凹形,在(墙)上做壁龛;休息,休会,休庭 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
42
inaccessible
![]() |
|
adj.达不到的,难接近的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
43
analyze
![]() |
|
vt.分析,解析 (=analyse) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
44
briefly
![]() |
|
adv.简单地,简短地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
45
supremely
![]() |
|
adv.无上地,崇高地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
46
unwilling
![]() |
|
adj.不情愿的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
47
fascination
![]() |
|
n.令人着迷的事物,魅力,迷恋 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
48
piqued
![]() |
|
v.伤害…的自尊心( pique的过去式和过去分词 );激起(好奇心) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
49
citadel
![]() |
|
n.城堡;堡垒;避难所 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
50
faculty
![]() |
|
n.才能;学院,系;(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
51
interfere
![]() |
|
v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
52
ominous
![]() |
|
adj.不祥的,不吉的,预兆的,预示的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
53
recurred
![]() |
|
再发生,复发( recur的过去式和过去分词 ); 治愈 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
54
disposition
![]() |
|
n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
55
poised
![]() |
|
a.摆好姿势不动的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
56
frivolous
![]() |
|
adj.轻薄的;轻率的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
57
intercourse
![]() |
|
n.性交;交流,交往,交际 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
58
wielding
![]() |
|
手持着使用(武器、工具等)( wield的现在分词 ); 具有; 运用(权力); 施加(影响) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
59
baton
![]() |
|
n.乐队用指挥杖 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
60
mightily
![]() |
|
ad.强烈地;非常地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
61
villa
![]() |
|
n.别墅,城郊小屋 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
62
apprehended
![]() |
|
逮捕,拘押( apprehend的过去式和过去分词 ); 理解 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
63
mantle
![]() |
|
n.斗篷,覆罩之物,罩子;v.罩住,覆盖,脸红 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
64
rusty
![]() |
|
adj.生锈的;锈色的;荒废了的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
65
pricked
![]() |
|
刺,扎,戳( prick的过去式和过去分词 ); 刺伤; 刺痛; 使剧痛 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
66
intermittent
![]() |
|
adj.间歇的,断断续续的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
67
flirted
![]() |
|
v.调情,打情骂俏( flirt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
68
flirtation
![]() |
|
n.调情,调戏,挑逗 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
69
extravagantly
![]() |
|
adv.挥霍无度地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
70
bracing
![]() |
|
adj.令人振奋的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
71
lash
![]() |
|
v.系牢;鞭打;猛烈抨击;n.鞭打;眼睫毛 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
72
misgivings
![]() |
|
n.疑虑,担忧,害怕;疑虑,担心,恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 );疑惧 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
73
delved
![]() |
|
v.深入探究,钻研( delve的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
74
guardians
![]() |
|
监护人( guardian的名词复数 ); 保护者,维护者 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
欢迎访问英文小说网 |