Chapter 5 A Story with a Disappointing Ending

Paul's father was a security guard at a museum. The museum had a very famous painting.

It was painted by Leonardo da Vinci. It was called the Mona Lisa.

Next to the painting was a sign.

DO NOT TOUCH!

All day Paul's father made sure nobody touched the painting.

At night after the museum closed, Paul's father was alone. Just him and the Mona Lisa.

And the sign. Do not touch! Do not touch! Do not...

He was dying to touch it. The tips of his fingers tingled¹ with desire.

But this story isn't about Paul's father. It's about Paul.

Paul was a student in Mrs. Jewls's class. He sat behind Leslie.

Leslie had two long brown pigtails that reached down to her waist. They just hung there, all day, right in front of Paul's face.

The Mona Leslie.

Do not touch! Do not touch! Do not. . .

Paul reached out, grabbed, and yanked!

"Yaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" screamed Leslie.

Mrs. Jewls sent Paul to the counselor²'s office.

The counselor's office was on the fourth floor. Paul had never been there before.

Like every student in Wayside School, he was afraid of the counselor. The counselor had a very scary face, with big, bushy eyebrows³ and a little beard on his pointed⁴ chin.
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"Come in," said the counselor.

Paul entered and sat down on the couch.

"What's the problem?" asked the counselor.

"I pulled Leslie's pigtails again," said Paul. "I know it's wrong, but I just can't help myself."

"Watch the pickle⁵," said the counselor.

Paul's eyes went back and forth⁶ as he stared at the swaying pickle.

"You are getting sleepy," said the counselor. "Your eyelids⁷ are getting heavy."

Paul suddenly felt very tired. He could hardly keep his eyes open.

"When I count to three," said the counselor, "you will fall into a deep, deep sleep. One . . . two . . . three."

Paul closed his eyes. He wasn't exactly asleep. He felt like he was living in a dream. But it was a very pleasant dream. He felt happy and safe.

"Can you hear me?" asked the counselor.

"Yes," said Paul. He was no longer afraid of the counselor. In fact he liked him a lot.

"You will do what I say," said the counselor.

"I - will - do - what - you - say," Paul repeated.

"I am going to count to five," said the counselor. "And then you will wake up. You will return to your classroom. You will take your seat behind Leslie. You will want to pull one of her pigtails. But when you reach for it, it will turn into a rattlesnake."

"Leslie's - pigtails - are - rattlesnakes," said Paul.

"Very good," said the counselor. "Now just one more thing." He rubbed his beard and smiled.

"When Leslie says the word 'pencil,' her ears will turn into candy. The most delicious candy in the world. The candy of your dreams."

Paul licked his lips. He could almost taste the rich chocolate and chewy caramel.

"And you will try to eat the candy."

"When - Leslie - says - 'pencil' - I - will - eat -her - ears," said Paul.

The counselor counted to five.

Paul's eyes blinked open.

"You may go back to class now," said the counselor.

"I'm not in trouble?" asked Paul.

"No," said the counselor.

Paul shrugged⁸. He returned to class. As he passed Leslie, she stuck out her tongue at him.

He sat down behind her.

"What'd the counselor do to you?" asked Eric Fry.

"Nothing," said Paul. "He's a nice man."

He looked at Leslie's pigtails. He had pulled
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the one on the left. But he still wanted to pull the one on the right

He lunged for it.

It hissed⁹ at him. Its tail rattled¹⁰.

He screamed and fell back over in his chair.

Everyone laughed.

"Paul, are you all right?" asked Mrs. Jewls.

"Uh, I guess so," said Paul, getting back up.

He didn't feel much like pulling Leslie's pigtails anymore.

It was just a short while later that Leslie's pencil point broke.

"Oh, great!" she complained.

"What's the matter?" asked Jenny, who sat next to Leslie.

Leslie showed her the broken pencil point.

"You want to borrow mine?" asked Eric Fry, who sat behind Jenny.

"No, I'll just go sharpen it," said Leslie. She went to the back of the room and sharpened her pencil.

She returned to her seat. She set the pencil on her desk, but it rolled off when she sat down.

"Hey, where'd it go?" she asked, turning around.

"Where'd what go?" asked Paul.

"There it is," said Jenny. "Under Paul's desk."

"What's under my desk?" asked Paul.

"I'll get it," said Eric Fry. He reached under

Paul's desk, picked up the pencil, and handed it to

Leslie.

She thanked him and everyone returned to work.
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All the kids in Mrs. Jewls's class brought a pet to school. The room was very noisy. Dogs barked. Cats meowed. A frog croaked¹¹. A pig squealed¹². A cow mooed. Birds tweeted.

Mrs. Jewls held up two fingers.

All the animals became quiet.

Stephen didn't have a pet. So he brought an orange. He kept it in a cage on his desk so it couldn't escape.

Todd brought Ralphie, his baby brother.

"Todd?" said Mrs. Jewls.

Todd barked.

"You cannot have a pet human," said Mrs. Jewls.

"He doesn't bite," Todd assured her.

Joy told Todd to sit and be quiet.

Mrs. Jewls got a large piece of poster board from the supply closet. "Let's make a chart," she said.

Across the top of her chart she wrote, "Name of Kid," "Kind of Pet," "Name of Pet."

She started with Deedee. She wrote "Deedee" under "Name of Kid." "And you have a dog," she said.

"Cat," said Deedee.

"Cat?" asked Mrs. Jewls.

Deedee nodded as she petted her dog.

Mrs. Jewls moved on to Ron. "Ron, I see you have a cat."

"Dog," said Ron, as he stroked the cat on his lap.

Mrs. Jewls shrugged. "Okay," she said.

"He's my dog," said D. J.

"Ron has your dog?" asked Mrs. Jewls.

"Ron has a cat," said D. J.

"That's what I thought," said Mrs. Jewls. "But what-"
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"What's a dog," said Jenny.

Mrs. Jewls covered her ears and shook her head. "Let's start all over again," said Mrs. Jewls. She got a new piece of poster board from the supply closet.

"Mac, what's your dog's name?"

"What's my dog's name," said Jenny.

"I'm not talking to you, Jenny. I'm talking to Mac."

"He can't talk," said Mac.

"Who can't talk?" asked Mrs. Jewls.

"Mac," said Mac.

Billy barked at Mac.

Mac barked at Billy.

Todd barked at both of them.

Joy made Todd lie down by her feet.

Mrs. Jewls moved on. "What's your pet, Myron?" she asked.

"Your pet's a turtle," said Sharie.

"What?" asked Mrs. Jewls.

"What is Jenny's pet," said Sharie.

"Jenny's pet is a dog!" said Mrs. Jewls. "What's his name, Jenny?"

Jenny nodded. Her dog sat up straight and tall and seemed to smile at Mrs. Jewls.

"He's handsome," said Mrs. Jewls.

"My mouse is handsome," said Benjamin.

Benjamin had a little white mouse in a cage on his desk.

"If you like mice," said Dana, making a face.

"Mrs. Jewls likes mice," said Calvin. "She eats them."

"Gross!" said Dana.

"He won't come when you call him," said Kathy. "He doesn't know his name."

Billy meowed.

"Will Mrs. Jewls eat yogurt?" asked John.

"No way!" said Calvin.

"I will too," said Mrs. Jewls. "I like yogurt. I like strawberry best."

Maurecia beamed. "Mrs. Jewls likes strawberry best," she bragged¹³.

"You shouldn't pick favorites," complained Dana.

"Do you like crackers¹⁴, Mrs. Jewls?" asked Rondi.

"Don't worry," said Calvin. "Mrs. Jewls won't eat crackers."

"How do you know what I'll eat Calvin?" asked Mrs. Jewls, a little annoyed. "I like eating crackers with cheese on top."

"Oh, gross!" said Myron.

"He won't come when you call him," Kathy said again.
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"Mac! Keep Mac away from my socks!" shouted Allison.

"Wait," said Jason. "Now you've got my socks, and I've got your socks/'

"I can tell the difference between my socks and your socks, Jason," said Allison.

Mrs. Jewls covered her ears and shook her head. She moved on. "What's your pet, Dameon?" she asked.

"I already told you he was a turtle," said Sharie.

"I wasn't talking to you, Sharie," said Mrs. Jewls. "I was talking to Dameon."

"Your nose a ferret," said Dameon.

"My nose a ferret?" asked Mrs. Jewls.

"My nose a hamster," said Joe.

Billy bleated¹⁵.

Mrs. Jewls licked her leg.

"Hey, Paul," said Leslie. "I like your pigtails."

"Thanks," said Paul. "May I touch your pajamas¹⁶?"

"Go ahead," said Bebe, who was already petting Leslie's pajamas. "She won't scratch you."

"This is crazy!" shouted Terrence.

"He's cute," said Dana.

Name of KidKind of PetName of Pet

DeedeeDogCat

RonCatDog

D.J.DogO.K.

JennyDogWhat

MacDogMac

JoyDogTodd

SharieTurtleYorpet

BenjaminMouseHandsome

CalvinCatMrs. Jewls

KathySkunkGross

JohnFrogYogurt

MaureciaCatStrawberry-

RondiBirdCrackers

MyronChipmunkCheese

AllisonCatSocks

JasonCatSocks

DameonFerretYorno

JoeHamsterMino

PaulDogTails

LeslieCatPajamas

TerrenceDogCrazy

Eric FryKid (Goat)Billy

Eric BaconDogBilly

Eric OvensCatBilly

DanaDogPugsy

BebeBirdPicasso

ToddKid (Human}Ralphie

StephenOrangeFido
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Early in the morning, a white limousine¹⁷ drove up to Wayside School.

Just like always.

The chauffeur¹⁸ got out of the car, then opened the passenger door.

Just like always.

Mr. Kidswatter stepped out of the car. "Thank you, James," he said.

"My name is David," said the chauffeur.

Just like always.

Mr. Kidswatter entered the school building.

"Good morning, Mr. Kidswatter," said Mrs. Day, the school secretary. She handed him a cup of hot coffee.

Just like always.

"Thank you, Miss Night," said Mr. Kidswatter.

He walked into his office.

Except his office door was closed.

He smashed into it, spilling coffee all over his green suit.

"Who closed my door?" he demanded.

"Why didn't you just open it?" asked Mrs. Day.

"It's always open in the morning," said Mr. Kidswatter. "How was I supposed to know it was closed this time?"

Up on the thirtieth story, Mrs. Jewls took roll.

Todd was absent.

"Oh dear, I hope Todd is all right," said Mrs. Jewls.

"Todd's never all right!" said Joy.

She and Maurecia laughed.

Dameon looked at Mrs. Jewls. Ever since he returned to Wayside School, he'd thought there was something different about her, but he still couldn't figure out what it was.

1 tingled   

v.有刺痛感( tingle的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• My cheeks tingled with the cold. 我的脸颊冻得有点刺痛。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The crowd tingled with excitement. 群众大为兴奋。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

2 counselor   

n.顾问，法律顾问

参考例句：

• The counselor gave us some disinterested advice.顾问给了我们一些无私的忠告。
• Chinese commercial counselor's office in foreign countries.中国驻国外商务参赞处。

3 eyebrows   

眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Eyebrows stop sweat from coming down into the eyes. 眉毛挡住汗水使其不能流进眼睛。
• His eyebrows project noticeably. 他的眉毛特别突出。

4 pointed   

adj.尖的，直截了当的

参考例句：

• He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
• She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。

5 pickle   

n.腌汁，泡菜；v.腌，泡

参考例句：

• Mother used to pickle onions.妈妈过去常腌制洋葱。
• Meat can be preserved in pickle.肉可以保存在卤水里。

6 forth   

adv.向前；向外，往外

参考例句：

• The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
• He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。

7 eyelids   

n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 )；眼睛也不眨一下；不露声色；面不改色

参考例句：

• She was so tired, her eyelids were beginning to droop. 她太疲倦了，眼睑开始往下垂。
• Her eyelids drooped as if she were on the verge of sleep. 她眼睑低垂好像快要睡着的样子。 来自《简明英汉词典》

8 shrugged   

vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• Sam shrugged and said nothing. 萨姆耸耸肩膀，什么也没说。
• She shrugged, feigning nonchalance. 她耸耸肩，装出一副无所谓的样子。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 hissed   

发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 )； 发嘘声表示反对

参考例句：

• Have you ever been hissed at in the middle of a speech? 你在演讲中有没有被嘘过？
• The iron hissed as it pressed the wet cloth. 熨斗压在湿布上时发出了嘶嘶声。

10 rattled   

慌乱的，恼火的

参考例句：

• The truck jolted and rattled over the rough ground. 卡车嘎吱嘎吱地在凹凸不平的地面上颠簸而行。
• Every time a bus went past, the windows rattled. 每逢公共汽车经过这里，窗户都格格作响。

11 croaked   

v.呱呱地叫( croak的过去式和过去分词 )；用粗的声音说

参考例句：

• The crow croaked disaster. 乌鸦呱呱叫预报灾难。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• 'she has a fine head for it," croaked Jacques Three. “她有一个漂亮的脑袋跟着去呢，”雅克三号低沉地说。 来自英汉文学 - 双城记

12 squealed   

v.长声尖叫，用长而尖锐的声音说( squeal的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He squealed the words out. 他吼叫着说出那些话。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The brakes of the car squealed. 汽车的刹车发出吱吱声。 来自《简明英汉词典》

13 bragged   

v.自夸，吹嘘( brag的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He bragged to his friends about the crime. 他向朋友炫耀他的罪行。
• Mary bragged that she could run faster than Jack. 玛丽夸口说她比杰克跑得快。 来自《简明英汉词典》

14 crackers   

adj.精神错乱的，癫狂的n.爆竹( cracker的名词复数 )；薄脆饼干；（认为）十分愉快的事；迷人的姑娘

参考例句：

• That noise is driving me crackers. 那噪声闹得我简直要疯了。
• We served some crackers and cheese as an appetiser. 我们上了些饼干和奶酪作为开胃品。 来自《简明英汉词典》

15 bleated   

v.（羊，小牛）叫( bleat的过去式和过去分词 )；哭诉；发出羊叫似的声音；轻声诉说

参考例句：

• The lost lamb bleated. 迷路的小羊咩咩的叫。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• She bleated her disapproval of her son's marriage to Amy. 她用颤抖的声音表示不赞成儿子与艾米的婚事。 来自辞典例句

16 pajamas   

n.睡衣裤

参考例句：

• At bedtime,I take off my clothes and put on my pajamas.睡觉时，我脱去衣服，换上睡衣。
• He was wearing striped pajamas.他穿着带条纹的睡衣裤。

17 limousine   

n.豪华轿车

参考例句：

• A chauffeur opened the door of the limousine for the grand lady.司机为这个高贵的女士打开了豪华轿车的车门。
• We arrived in fine style in a hired limousine.我们很气派地乘坐出租的豪华汽车到达那里。

18 chauffeur   

n.(受雇于私人或公司的)司机；v.为…开车

参考例句：

• The chauffeur handed the old lady from the car.这个司机搀扶这个老太太下汽车。
• She went out herself and spoke to the chauffeur.她亲自走出去跟汽车司机说话。