"He is a Perfectly1 Impossible Person"
My friend's fear or hope was not destined2 to be realized. When I called on Wednesday there was a letter with the West Kensington postmark upon it, and my name scrawled3 across the envelope in a handwriting which looked like a barbed-wire railing. The contents were as follows:-
"ENMORE PARK, W.
"SIR,--I have duly received your note, in which you claim to endorse4 my views, although I am not aware that they are dependent upon endorsement5 either from you or anyone else. You have ventured to use the word `speculation' with regard to my statement upon the subject of Darwinism, and I would call your attention to the fact that such a word in such a connection is offensive to a degree. The context convinces me, however, that you have sinned rather through ignorance and tactlessness than through malice6, so I am content to pass the matter by. You quote an isolated7 sentence from my lecture, and appear to have some difficulty in understanding it. I should have thought that only a sub-human intelligence could have failed to grasp the point, but if it really needs amplification8 I shall consent to see you at the hour named, though visits and visitors of every sort are exceeding distasteful to me. As to your suggestion that I may modify my opinion, I would have you know that it is not my habit to do so after a deliberate expression of my mature views. You will kindly9 show the envelope of this letter to my man, Austin, when you call, as he has to take every precaution to shield me from the intrusive10 rascals11 who call themselves `journalists.' "Yours faithfully, "GEORGE EDWARD CHALLENGER."
This was the letter that I read aloud to Tarp Henry, who had come down early to hear the result of my venture. His only remark was, "There's some new stuff, cuticura or something, which is better than arnica." Some people have such extraordinary notions of humor.
It was nearly half-past ten before I had received my message, but a taxicab took me round in good time for my appointment. It was an imposing12 porticoed house at which we stopped, and the heavily-curtained windows gave every indication of wealth upon the part of this formidable Professor. The door was opened by an odd, swarthy, dried-up person of uncertain age, with a dark pilot jacket and brown leather gaiters. I found afterwards that he was the chauffeur13, who filled the gaps left by a succession of dugitive butlers. He looked me up and down with a searching light blue eye.
"Expected?" he asked.
"An appointment."
"Got your letter?"
I produced the envelope.
"Right!" He seemed to be a person of few words. Following him down the passage I was suddenly interrupted by a small woman, who stepped out from what proved to be the dining-room door. She was a bright, vivacious14, dark-eyed lady, more French than English in her type.
"One moment," she said. "You can wait, Austin. Step in here, sir. May I ask if you have met my husband before?"
"No, madam, I have not had the honor."
"Then I apologize to you in advance. I must tell you that he is a perfectly impossible person--absolutely impossible. If you are forewarned you will be the more ready to make allowances."
"It is most considerate of you, madam."
"Get quickly out of the room if he seems inclined to be violent. Don't wait to argue with him. Several people have been injured through doing that. Afterwards there is a public scandal and it reflects upon me and all of us. I suppose it wasn't about South America you wanted to see him?"
I could not lie to a lady.
"Dear me! That is his most dangerous subject. You won't believe a word he says--I'm sure I don't wonder. But don't tell him so, for it makes him very violent. Pretend to believe him, and you may get through all right. Remember he believes it himself. Of that you may be assured. A more honest man never lived. Don't wait any longer or he may suspect. If you find him dangerous--really dangerous--ring the bell and hold him off until I come. Even at his worst I can usually control him."
With these encouraging words the lady handed me over to the taciturn Austin, who had waited like a bronze statue of discretion15 during our short interview, and I was conducted to the end of the passage. There was a tap at a door, a bull's bellow16 from within, and I was face to face with the Professor.
He sat in a rotating chair behind a broad table, which was covered with books, maps, and diagrams. As I entered, his seat spun17 round to face me. His appearance made me gasp18. I was prepared for something strange, but not for so overpowering a personality as this. It was his size which took one's breath away--his size and his imposing presence. His head was enormous, the largest I have ever seen upon a human being. I am sure that his top-hat, had I ever ventured to don it, would have slipped over me entirely19 and rested on my shoulders. He had the face and beard which I associate with an Assyrian bull; the former florid, the latter so black as almost to have a suspicion of blue, spade-shaped and rippling20 down over his chest. The hair was peculiar21, plastered down in front in a long, curving wisp over his massive forehead. The eyes were blue-gray under great black tufts, very clear, very critical, and very masterful. A huge spread of shoulders and a chest like a barrel were the other parts of him which appeared above the table, save for two enormous hands covered with long black hair. This and a bellowing22, roaring, rumbling23 voice made up my first impression of the notorious Professor Challenger.
"Well?" said he, with a most insolent24 stare. "What now?"
I must keep up my deception25 for at least a little time longer, otherwise here was evidently an end of the interview.
"You were good enough to give me an appointment, sir," said I, humbly26, producing his envelope.
He took my letter from his desk and laid it out before him.
"Oh, you are the young person who cannot understand plain English, are you? My general conclusions you are good enough to approve, as I understand?"
"Entirely, sir--entirely!" I was very emphatic27.
"Dear me! That strengthens my position very much, does it not? Your age and appearance make your support doubly valuable. Well, at least you are better than that herd28 of swine in Vienna, whose gregarious29 grunt30 is, however, not more offensive than the isolated effort of the British hog31." He glared at me as the present representative of the beast.
"They seem to have behaved abominably," said I.
"I assure you that I can fight my own battles, and that I have no possible need of your sympathy. Put me alone, sir, and with my back to the wall. G. E. C. is happiest then. Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail32 this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly irksome to me. You had, as I have been led to believe, some comments to make upon the proposition which I advanced in my thesis."
There was a brutal33 directness about his methods which made evasion34 difficult. I must still make play and wait for a better opening. It had seemed simple enough at a distance. Oh, my Irish wits, could they not help me now, when I needed help so sorely? He transfixed me with two sharp, steely eyes. "Come, come!" he rumbled35.
"I am, of course, a mere36 student," said I, with a fatuous37 smile, "hardly more, I might say, than an earnest inquirer. At the same time, it seemed to me that you were a little severe upon Weissmann in this matter. Has not the general evidence since that date tended to--well, to strengthen his position?"
"What evidence?" He spoke38 with a menacing calm.
"Well, of course, I am aware that there is not any what you might call DEFINITE evidence. I alluded39 merely to the trend of modern thought and the general scientific point of view, if I might so express it."
He leaned forward with great earnestness.
"I suppose you are aware," said he, checking off points upon his fingers, "that the cranial index is a constant factor?"
"Naturally," said I.
"And that telegony is still sub judice?"
"And that the germ plasm is different from the parthenogenetic egg?"
"Why, surely!" I cried, and gloried in my own audacity41.
"But what does that prove?" he asked, in a gentle, persuasive42 voice.
"Ah, what indeed?" I murmured. "What does it prove?"
"Shall I tell you?" he cooed.
"Pray do."
"It proves," he roared, with a sudden blast of fury, "that you are the damnedest imposter in London--a vile43, crawling journalist, who has no more science than he has decency44 in his composition!"
He had sprung to his feet with a mad rage in his eyes. Even at that moment of tension I found time for amazement45 at the discovery that he was quite a short man, his head not higher than my shoulder--a stunted46 Hercules whose tremendous vitality47 had all run to depth, breadth, and brain.
"Gibberish!" he cried, leaning forward, with his fingers on the table and his face projecting. "That's what I have been talking to you, sir--scientific gibberish! Did you think you could match cunning with me--you with your walnut48 of a brain? You think you are omnipotent49, you infernal scribblers, don't you? That your praise can make a man and your blame can break him? We must all bow to you, and try to get a favorable word, must we? This man shall have a leg up, and this man shall have a dressing50 down! Creeping vermin, I know you! You've got out of your station. Time was when your ears were clipped. You've lost your sense of proportion. Swollen51 gas-bags! I'll keep you in your proper place. Yes, sir, you haven't got over G. E. C. There's one man who is still your master. He warned you off, but if you WILL come, by the Lord you do it at your own risk. Forfeit52, my good Mr. Malone, I claim forfeit! You have played a rather dangerous game, and it strikes me that you have lost it."
"Look here, sir," said I, backing to the door and opening it; "you can be as abusive as you like. But there is a limit. You shall not assault me."
"Shall I not?" He was slowly advancing in a peculiarly menacing way, but he stopped now and put his big hands into the side-pockets of a rather boyish short jacket which he wore. "I have thrown several of you out of the house. You will be the fourth or fifth. Three pound fifteen each--that is how it averaged. Expensive, but very necessary. Now, sir, why should you not follow your brethren? I rather think you must." He resumed his unpleasant and stealthy advance, pointing his toes as he walked, like a dancing master.
I could have bolted for the hall door, but it would have been too ignominious53. Besides, a little glow of righteous anger was springing up within me. I had been hopelessly in the wrong before, but this man's menaces were putting me in the right.
"I'll trouble you to keep your hands off, sir. I'll not stand it."
"Dear me!" His black moustache lifted and a white fang54 twinkled in a sneer55. "You won't stand it, eh?"
"Don't be such a fool, Professor!" I cried. "What can you hope for? I'm fifteen stone, as hard as nails, and play center three-quarter every Saturday for the London Irish. I'm not the man----"
It was at that moment that he rushed me. It was lucky that I had opened the door, or we should have gone through it. We did a Catharine-wheel together down the passage. Somehow we gathered up a chair upon our way, and bounded on with it towards the street. My mouth was full of his beard, our arms were locked, our bodies intertwined, and that infernal chair radiated its legs all round us. The watchful56 Austin had thrown open the hall door. We went with a back somersault down the front steps. I have seen the two Macs attempt something of the kind at the halls, but it appears to take some practise to do it without hurting oneself. The chair went to matchwood at the bottom, and we rolled apart into the gutter57. He sprang to his feet, waving his fists and wheezing58 like an asthmatic.
"Had enough?" he panted.
"You infernal bully59!" I cried, as I gathered myself together.
Then and there we should have tried the thing out, for he was effervescing60 with fight, but fortunately I was rescued from an odious61 situation. A policeman was beside us, his notebook in his hand.
"What's all this? You ought to be ashamed" said the policeman. It was the most rational remark which I had heard in Enmore Park. "Well," he insisted, turning to me, "what is it, then?"
"This man attacked me," said I.
"Did you attack him?" asked the policeman.
The Professor breathed hard and said nothing.
"It's not the first time, either," said the policeman, severely62, shaking his head. "You were in trouble last month for the same thing. You've blackened this young man's eye. Do you give him in charge, sir?"
I relented.
"No," said I, "I do not."
"What's that?" said the policeman.
"I was to blame myself. I intruded63 upon him. He gave me fair warning."
The policeman snapped up his notebook.
"Don't let us have any more such goings-on," said he. "Now, then! Move on, there, move on!" This to a butcher's boy, a maid, and one or two loafers who had collected. He clumped64 heavily down the street, driving this little flock before him. The Professor looked at me, and there was something humorous at the back of his eyes.
"Come in!" said he. "I've not done with you yet."
The speech had a sinister65 sound, but I followed him none the less into the house. The man-servant, Austin, like a wooden image, closed the door behind us.
收听单词发音 |
1
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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scrawled
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| 乱涂，潦草地写( scrawl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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endorse
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| vt.(支票、汇票等)背书，背署；批注；同意 | |
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endorsement
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| n.背书；赞成，认可，担保；签(注)，批注 | |
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malice
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| n.恶意，怨恨，蓄意；[律]预谋 | |
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isolated
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| adj.与世隔绝的 | |
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amplification
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| n.扩大，发挥 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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intrusive
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| adj.打搅的；侵扰的 | |
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rascals
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| 流氓( rascal的名词复数 )； 无赖； （开玩笑说法）淘气的人（尤指小孩）； 恶作剧的人 | |
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imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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chauffeur
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| n.(受雇于私人或公司的)司机；v.为…开车 | |
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vivacious
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| adj.活泼的，快活的 | |
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discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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bellow
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| v.吼叫，怒吼；大声发出，大声喝道 | |
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spun
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| v.纺，杜撰，急转身 | |
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gasp
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| n.喘息，气喘；v.喘息；气吁吁他说 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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rippling
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| 起涟漪的，潺潺流水般声音的 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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bellowing
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| v.发出吼叫声，咆哮（尤指因痛苦）( bellow的现在分词 )；（愤怒地）说出（某事），大叫 | |
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rumbling
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| n. 隆隆声, 辘辘声 adj. 隆隆响的 动词rumble的现在分词 | |
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24
insolent
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| adj.傲慢的，无理的 | |
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deception
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| n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计 | |
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humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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27
emphatic
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| adj.强调的，着重的；无可置疑的，明显的 | |
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herd
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| n.兽群，牧群；vt.使集中，把…赶在一起 | |
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gregarious
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| adj.群居的，喜好群居的 | |
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grunt
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| v.嘟哝；作呼噜声；n.呼噜声，嘟哝 | |
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hog
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| n.猪；馋嘴贪吃的人；vt.把…占为己有，独占 | |
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32
curtail
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| vt.截短，缩短；削减 | |
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brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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evasion
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| n.逃避，偷漏(税) | |
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35
rumbled
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| 发出隆隆声，发出辘辘声( rumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 轰鸣着缓慢行进； 发现…的真相； 看穿（阴谋） | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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fatuous
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| adj.愚昧的；昏庸的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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alluded
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| 提及，暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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audacity
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| n.大胆，卤莽，无礼 | |
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42
persuasive
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| adj.有说服力的，能说得使人相信的 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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decency
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| n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重 | |
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amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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stunted
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| adj.矮小的；发育迟缓的 | |
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vitality
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| n.活力，生命力，效力 | |
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48
walnut
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| n.胡桃，胡桃木，胡桃色，茶色 | |
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49
omnipotent
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| adj.全能的，万能的 | |
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50
dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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51
swollen
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| adj.肿大的，水涨的；v.使变大，肿胀 | |
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52
forfeit
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| vt.丧失；n.罚金，罚款，没收物 | |
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53
ignominious
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| adj.可鄙的，不光彩的，耻辱的 | |
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54
fang
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| n.尖牙，犬牙 | |
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55
sneer
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| v.轻蔑；嘲笑；n.嘲笑，讥讽的言语 | |
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56
watchful
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| adj.注意的，警惕的 | |
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57
gutter
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| n.沟，街沟，水槽，檐槽，贫民窟 | |
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58
wheezing
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| v.喘息，发出呼哧呼哧的喘息声( wheeze的现在分词 )；哮鸣 | |
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59
bully
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| n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮 | |
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60
effervescing
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| v.冒气泡，起泡沫( effervesce的现在分词 ) | |
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61
odious
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| adj.可憎的，讨厌的 | |
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62
severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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63
intruded
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| n.侵入的，推进的v.侵入，侵扰，打扰( intrude的过去式和过去分词 )；把…强加于 | |
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64
clumped
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| adj.[医]成群的v.（树、灌木、植物等的）丛、簇( clump的过去式和过去分词 )；（土、泥等）团；块；笨重的脚步声 | |
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65
sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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