WHEREIN Mr. PETER MAGNUS GROWSJEALOUS, AND THE MIDDLE-AGED1 LADYAPPREHENSIVE, WHICH BRINGS THEPICKWICKIANS WITHIN THEGRASP OF THE LAWhen Mr. Pickwick descended2 to the room in which heand Mr. Peter Magnus had spent the precedingevening, he found that gentleman with the major partof the contents of the two bags, the leathern hat-box, and thebrown-paper parcel, displaying to all possible advantage on hisperson, while he himself was pacing up and down the room in astate of the utmost excitement and agitation3.
‘Good-morning, sir,’ said Mr. Peter Magnus. ‘What do you thinkof this, sir?’
‘Very effective indeed,’ replied Mr. Pickwick, surveying thegarments of Mr. Peter Magnus with a good-natured smile.
‘Yes, I think it’ll do,’ said Mr. Magnus. ‘Mr. Pickwick, sir, I havesent up my card.’
‘Have you?’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘And the waiter brought back word, that she would see me ateleven―at eleven, sir; it only wants a quarter now.’
‘Very near the time,’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘Yes, it is rather near,’ replied Mr. Magnus, ‘rather too near tobe pleasant―eh! Mr. Pickwick, sir?’
‘Confidence is a great thing in these cases,’ observed Mr.
Pickwick.
‘I believe it is, sir,’ said Mr. Peter Magnus. ‘I am very confident,sir. Really, Mr. Pickwick, I do not see why a man should feel anyfear in such a case as this, sir. What is it, sir? There’s nothing to beashamed of; it’s a matter of mutual4 accommodation, nothing more.
Husband on one side, wife on the other. That’s my view of thematter, Mr. Pickwick.’
‘It is a very philosophical5 one,’ replied Mr. Pickwick. ‘Butbreakfast is waiting, Mr. Magnus. Come.’
Down they sat to breakfast, but it was evident, notwithstandingthe boasting of Mr. Peter Magnus, that he laboured under a veryconsiderable degree of nervousness, of which loss of appetite, apropensity to upset the tea-things, a spectral6 attempt at drollery,and an irresistible7 inclination8 to look at the clock, every othersecond, were among the principal symptoms.
‘He-he-he,’ tittered Mr. Magnus, affecting cheerfulness, andgasping with agitation. ‘It only wants two minutes, Mr. Pickwick.
Am I pale, sir?’
‘Not very,’ replied Mr. Pickwick.
There was a brief pause.
‘I beg your pardon, Mr. Pickwick; but have you ever done thissort of thing in your time?’ said Mr. Magnus.
‘You mean proposing?’ said Mr. Pickwick. ‘Yes.’
‘Never,’ said Mr. Pickwick, with great energy, ‘never.’
‘You have no idea, then, how it’s best to begin?’ said Mr.
Magnus.
‘Why,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘I may have formed some ideas uponthe subject, but, as I have never submitted them to the test ofexperience, I should be sorry if you were induced to regulate yourproceedings by them.’
‘I should feel very much obliged to you, for any advice, sir,’ saidMr. Magnus, taking another look at the clock, the hand of whichwas verging10 on the five minutes past.
‘Well, sir,’ said Mr. Pickwick, with the profound solemnity withwhich that great man could, when he pleased, render his remarksso deeply impressive. ‘I should commence, sir, with a tribute to thelady’s beauty and excellent qualities; from them, sir, I shoulddiverge to my own unworthiness.’
‘Very good,’ said Mr. Magnus.
‘Unworthiness for her only, mind, sir,’ resumed Mr. Pickwick;‘for to show that I was not wholly unworthy, sir, I should take abrief review of my past life, and present condition. I should argue,by analogy, that to anybody else, I must be a very desirable object.
I should then expatiate11 on the warmth of my love, and the depth ofmy devotion. Perhaps I might then be tempted12 to seize her hand.’
‘Yes, I see,’ said Mr. Magnus; ‘that would be a very great point.’
‘I should then, sir,’ continued Mr. Pickwick, growing warmer asthe subject presented itself in more glowing colours before him―‘Ishould then, sir, come to the plain and simple question, “Will youhave me?” I think I am justified13 in assuming that upon this, shewould turn away her head.’
‘You think that may be taken for granted?’ said Mr. Magnus;‘because, if she did not do that at the right place, it would beembarrassing.’
‘I think she would,’ said Mr. Pickwick. ‘Upon this, sir, I shouldsqueeze her hand, and I think―I think, Mr. Magnus―that after Ihad done that, supposing there was no refusal, I should gentlydraw away the handkerchief, which my slight knowledge ofhuman nature leads me to suppose the lady would be applying toher eyes at the moment, and steal a respectful kiss. I think I shouldkiss her, Mr. Magnus; and at this particular point, I am decidedlyof opinion that if the lady were going to take me at all, she wouldmurmur into my ears a bashful acceptance.’
Mr. Magnus started; gazed on Mr. Pickwick’s intelligent face,for a short time in silence; and then (the dial pointing to the tenminutes past) shook him warmly by the hand, and rusheddesperately from the room.
Mr. Pickwick had taken a few strides to and fro; and the smallhand of the clock following the latter part of his example, hadarrived at the figure which indicates the half-hour, when the doorsuddenly opened. He turned round to meet Mr. Peter Magnus, andencountered, in his stead, the joyous14 face of Mr. Tupman, theserene countenance15 of Mr. Winkle, and the intellectual lineamentsof Mr. Snodgrass. As Mr. Pickwick greeted them, Mr. PeterMagnus tripped into the room.
‘My friends, the gentleman I was speaking of―Mr. Magnus,’
said Mr. Pickwick.
‘Your servant, gentlemen,’ said Mr. Magnus, evidently in a highstate of excitement; ‘Mr. Pickwick, allow me to speak to you onemoment, sir.’
As he said this, Mr. Magnus harnessed his forefinger16 to Mr.
Pickwick’s buttonhole, and, drawing him to a window recess,said―‘Congratulate me, Mr. Pickwick; I followed your advice to thevery letter.’
‘And it was all correct, was it?’ inquired Mr. Pickwick.
‘It was, sir. Could not possibly have been better,’ replied Mr.
Magnus. ‘Mr. Pickwick, she is mine.’
‘I congratulate you, with all my heart,’ replied Mr. Pickwick,warmly shaking his new friend by the hand.
‘You must see her. sir,’ said Mr. Magnus; ‘this way, if youplease. Excuse us for one instant, gentlemen.’ Hurrying on in thisway, Mr. Peter Magnus drew Mr. Pickwick from the room. Hepaused at the next door in the passage, and tapped gently thereat.
‘Come in,’ said a female voice. And in they went.
‘Miss Witherfield,’ said Mr. Magnus, ‘allow me to introduce myvery particular friend, Mr. Pickwick. Mr. Pickwick, I beg to makeyou known to Miss Witherfield.’
The lady was at the upper end of the room. As Mr. Pickwickbowed, he took his spectacles from his waistcoat pocket, and putthem on; a process which he had no sooner gone through, than,uttering an exclamation17 of surprise, Mr. Pickwick retreatedseveral paces, and the lady, with a half-suppressed scream, hid herface in her hands, and dropped into a chair; whereupon Mr. PeterMagnus was stricken motionless on the spot, and gazed from oneto the other, with a countenance expressive18 of the extremities19 ofhorror and surprise. This certainly was, to all appearance, veryunaccountable behaviour; but the fact is, that Mr. Pickwick nosooner put on his spectacles, than he at once recognised in thefuture Mrs. Magnus the lady into whose room he had sounwarrantably intruded20 on the previous night; and the spectacleshad no sooner crossed Mr. Pickwick’s nose, than the lady at onceidentified the countenance which she had seen surrounded by allthe horrors of a nightcap. So the lady screamed, and Mr. Pickwickstarted.
‘Mr. Pickwick!’ exclaimed Mr. Magnus, lost in astonishment,‘what is the meaning of this, sir? What is the meaning of it, sir?’
added Mr. Magnus, in a threatening, and a louder tone.
‘Sir,’ said Mr. Pickwick, somewhat indignant at the very suddenmanner in which Mr. Peter Magnus had conjugated21 himself intothe imperative22 mood, ‘I decline answering that question.’
‘You decline it, sir?’ said Mr. Magnus.
‘I do, sir,’ replied Mr. Pickwick; ‘I object to say anything whichmay compromise that lady, or awaken23 unpleasant recollections inher breast, without her consent and permission.’
‘Miss Witherfield,’ said Mr. Peter Magnus, ‘do you know thisperson?’
‘Know him!’ repeated the middle-aged lady, hesitating.
‘Yes, know him, ma’am; I said know him,’ replied Mr. Magnus,with ferocity.
‘I have seen him,’ replied the middle-aged lady.
‘Where?’ inquired Mr. Magnus, ‘where?’
‘That,’ said the middle-aged lady, rising from her seat, andaverting her head―‘that I would not reveal for worlds.’
‘I understand you, ma’am,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘and respect yourdelicacy; it shall never be revealed by me depend upon it.’
‘Upon my word, ma’am,’ said Mr. Magnus, ‘considering thesituation in which I am placed with regard to yourself, you carrythis matter off with tolerable coolness―tolerable coolness, ma’am.’
‘Cruel Mr. Magnus!’ said the middle-aged lady; here she weptvery copiously26 indeed.
‘Address your observations to me, sir,’ interposed Mr. Pickwick;‘I alone am to blame, if anybody be.’
‘Oh! you alone are to blame, are you, sir?’ said Mr. Magnus; ‘I―I―see through this, sir. You repent27 of your determination now, doyou?’
‘My determination!’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘Your determination, sir. Oh! don’t stare at me, sir,’ said Mr.
Magnus; ‘I recollect24 your words last night, sir. You came downhere, sir, to expose the treachery and falsehood of an individual onwhose truth and honour you had placed implicit28 reliance―eh?’
Here Mr. Peter Magnus indulged in a prolonged sneer29; and takingoff his green spectacles―which he probably found superfluous30 inhis fit of jealousy31―rolled his little eyes about, in a manner frightfulto behold32.
‘Eh?’ said Mr. Magnus; and then he repeated the sneer withincreased effect. ‘But you shall answer it, sir.’
‘Answer what?’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘Never mind, sir,’ replied Mr. Magnus, striding up and down theroom. ‘Never mind.’
There must be something very comprehensive in this phrase of‘Never mind,’ for we do not recollect to have ever witnessed aquarrel in the street, at a theatre, public room, or elsewhere, inwhich it has not been the standard reply to all belligerentinquiries. ‘Do you call yourself a gentleman, sir?’―‘Never mind,sir.’ ‘Did I offer to say anything to the young woman, sir?’―‘Nevermind, sir.’ ‘Do you want your head knocked up against that wall,sir?’―‘Never mind, sir.’ It is observable, too, that there wouldappear to be some hidden taunt33 in this universal ‘Never mind,’
which rouses more indignation in the bosom34 of the individualaddressed, than the most lavish35 abuse could possibly awaken.
We do not mean to assert that the application of this brevity tohimself, struck exactly that indignation to Mr. Pickwick’s soul,which it would infallibly have roused in a vulgar breast. We merelyrecord the fact that Mr. Pickwick opened the room door, andabruptly called out, ‘Tupman, come here!’
Mr. Tupman immediately presented himself, with a look of veryconsiderable surprise.
‘Tupman,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘a secret of some delicacy25, inwhich that lady is concerned, is the cause of a difference whichhas just arisen between this gentleman and myself. When I assurehim, in your presence, that it has no relation to himself, and is notin any way connected with his affairs, I need hardly beg you totake notice that if he continue to dispute it, he expresses a doubt ofmy veracity36, which I shall consider extremely insulting.’ As Mr.
Pickwick said this, he looked encyclopedias37 at Mr. Peter Magnus.
Mr. Pickwick’s upright and honourable38 bearing, coupled withthat force and energy of speech which so eminently39 distinguishedhim, would have carried conviction to any reasonable mind; but,unfortunately, at that particular moment, the mind of Mr. PeterMagnus was in anything but reasonable order. Consequently,instead of receiving Mr. Pickwick’s explanation as he ought tohave done, he forthwith proceeded to work himself into a red-hot,scorching, consuming passion, and to talk about what was due tohis own feelings, and all that sort of thing; adding force to hisdeclamation by striding to and fro, and pulling his hair―amusements which he would vary occasionally, by shaking his fistin Mr. Pickwick’s philanthropic countenance.
Mr. Pickwick, in his turn, conscious of his own innocence40 andrectitude, and irritated by having unfortunately involved themiddle-aged lady in such an unpleasant affair, was not so quietlydisposed as was his wont41. The consequence was, that words ranhigh, and voices higher; and at length Mr. Magnus told Mr.
Pickwick he should hear from him; to which Mr. Pickwick replied,with laudable politeness, that the sooner he heard from him thebetter; whereupon the middle-aged lady rushed in terror from theroom, out of which Mr. Tupman dragged Mr. Pickwick, leavingMr. Peter Magnus to himself and meditation42.
If the middle-aged lady had mingled43 much with the busy world,or had profited at all by the manners and customs of those whomake the laws and set the fashions, she would have known thatthis sort of ferocity is the most harmless thing in nature; but as shehad lived for the most part in the country, and never read theparliamentary debates, she was little versed44 in these particularrefinements of civilised life. Accordingly, when she had gained herbedchamber, bolted herself in, and began to meditate45 on the sceneshe had just witnessed, the most terrific pictures of slaughter46 anddestruction presented themselves to her imagination; amongwhich, a full-length portrait of Mr. Peter Magnus borne home byfour men, with the embellishment of a whole barrelful of bullets inhis left side, was among the very least. The more the middle-agedlady meditated47, the more terrified she became; and at length shedetermined to repair to the house of the principal magistrate49 ofthe town, and request him to secure the persons of Mr. Pickwickand Mr. Tupman without delay.
To this decision the middle-aged lady was impelled50 by a varietyof considerations, the chief of which was the incontestable proof itwould afford of her devotion to Mr. Peter Magnus, and her anxietyfor his safety. She was too well acquainted with his jealoustemperament to venture the slightest allusion51 to the real cause ofher agitation on beholding52 Mr. Pickwick; and she trusted to herown influence and power of persuasion53 with the little man, to quellhis boisterous54 jealousy, supposing that Mr. Pickwick wereremoved, and no fresh quarrel could arise. Filled with thesereflections, the middle-aged lady arrayed herself in her bonnetand shawl, and repaired to the mayor’s dwelling55 straightway.
Now George Nupkins, Esquire, the principal magistrateaforesaid, was as grand a personage as the fastest walker wouldfind out, between sunrise and sunset, on the twenty-first of June,which being, according to the almanacs, the longest day in thewhole year, would naturally afford him the longest period for hissearch. On this particular morning, Mr. Nupkins was in a state ofthe utmost excitement and irritation56, for there had been arebellion in the town; all the day-scholars at the largest day-schoolhad conspired57 to break the windows of an obnoxious58 apple-seller,and had hooted59 the beadle and pelted60 the constabulary―anelderly gentleman in top-boots, who had been called out to repressthe tumult61, and who had been a peace-officer, man and boy, forhalf a century at least. And Mr. Nupkins was sitting in his easy-chair, frowning with majesty62, and boiling with rage, when a ladywas announced on pressing, private, and particular business. Mr.
Nupkins looked calmly terrible, and commanded that the ladyshould be shown in; which command, like all the mandates63 ofemperors, and magistrates64, and other great potentates65 of theearth, was forthwith obeyed; and Miss Witherfield, interestinglyagitated, was ushered66 in accordingly.
‘Muzzle67!’ said the magistrate.
Muzzle was an undersized footman, with a long body and shortlegs.
‘Muzzle!’
‘Yes, your Worship.’
‘Place a chair, and leave the room.’
‘Yes, your Worship.’
‘Now, ma’am, will you state your business?’ said the magistrate.
‘It is of a very painful kind, sir,’ said Miss Witherfield.
‘Very likely, ma’am,’ said the magistrate. ‘Compose yourfeelings, ma’am.’ Here Mr. Nupkins looked benignant. ‘And thentell me what legal business brings you here, ma’am.’ Here themagistrate triumphed over the man; and he looked stern again.
‘It is very distressing68 to me, sir, to give this information,’ saidMiss Witherfield, ‘but I fear a duel69 is going to be fought here.’
‘Here, ma’am?’ said the magistrate. ‘Where, ma’am?’
‘In Ipswich.’
‘In Ipswich, ma’am! A duel in Ipswich!’ said the magistrate,perfectly70 aghast at the notion. ‘Impossible, ma’am; nothing of thekind can be contemplated71 in this town, I am persuaded. Bless mysoul, ma’am, are you aware of the activity of our local magistracy?
Do you happen to have heard, ma’am, that I rushed into a prize-ring on the fourth of May last, attended by only sixty specialconstables; and, at the hazard of falling a sacrifice to the angrypassions of an infuriated multitude, prohibited a pugilistic contestbetween the Middlesex Dumpling and the Suffolk Bantam? A duelin Ipswich, ma’am? I don’t think―I do not think,’ said themagistrate, reasoning with himself, ‘that any two men can havehad the hardihood to plan such a breach72 of the peace, in thistown.’
‘My information is, unfortunately, but too correct,’ said themiddle-aged lady; ‘I was present at the quarrel.’
‘It’s a most extraordinary thing,’ said the astounded73 magistrate.
‘Muzzle!’
‘Yes, your Worship.’
‘Send Mr. Jinks here, directly! Instantly.’
‘Yes, your Worship.’
Muzzle retired74; and a pale, sharp-nosed, half-fed, shabbily-cladclerk, of middle age, entered the room.
‘Mr. Jinks,’ said the magistrate. ‘Mr. Jinks.’
‘Sir,’ said Mr. Jinks. ‘This lady, Mr. Jinks, has come here, togive information of an intended duel in this town.’
Mr. Jinks, not knowing exactly what to do, smiled adependent’s smile.
‘What are you laughing at, Mr. Jinks?’ said the magistrate.
Mr. Jinks looked serious instantly.
‘Mr. Jinks,’ said the magistrate, ‘you’re a fool.’
Mr. Jinks looked humbly75 at the great man, and bit the top of hispen.
‘You may see something very comical in this information, sir―but I can tell you this, Mr. Jinks, that you have very little to laughat,’ said the magistrate.
The hungry-looking Jinks sighed, as if he were quite aware ofthe fact of his having very little indeed to be merry about; and,being ordered to take the lady’s information, shambled to a seat,and proceeded to write it down.
‘This man, Pickwick, is the principal, I understand?’ said themagistrate, when the statement was finished.
‘He is,’ said the middle-aged lady.
‘And the other rioter―what’s his name, Mr. Jinks?’
‘Tupman, sir.’
‘Tupman is the second?’
‘Yes.’
‘The other principal, you say, has absconded76, ma’am?’
‘Yes,’ replied Miss Witherfield, with a short cough.
‘Very well,’ said the magistrate. ‘These are two cut-throats fromLondon, who have come down here to destroy his Majesty’spopulation, thinking that at this distance from the capital, the armof the law is weak and paralysed. They shall be made an exampleof. Draw up the warrants, Mr. Jinks. Muzzle!’
‘Yes, your Worship.’
‘Is Grummer downstairs?’
‘Yes, your Worship.’
‘Send him up.’ The obsequious77 Muzzle retired, and presentlyreturned, introducing the elderly gentleman in the top-boots, whowas chiefly remarkable78 for a bottle-nose, a hoarse79 voice, a snuff-coloured surtout, and a wandering eye.
‘Grummer,’ said the magistrate.
‘Your wash-up.’
‘Is the town quiet now?’
‘Pretty well, your wash-up,’ replied Grummer. ‘Pop’lar feelinghas in a measure subsided80, consekens o’ the boys having dispersedto cricket.’
‘Nothing but vigorous measures will do in these times,Grummer,’ said the magistrate, in a determined48 manner. ‘If theauthority of the king’s officers is set at naught81, we must have theriot act read. If the civil power cannot protect these windows,Grummer, the military must protect the civil power, and thewindows too. I believe that is a maxim82 of the constitution, Mr.
Jinks?’
‘Certainly, sir,’ said Jinks.
‘Very good,’ said the magistrate, signing the warrants.
‘Grummer, you will bring these persons before me, this afternoon.
You will find them at the Great White Horse. You recollect thecase of the Middlesex Dumpling and the Suffolk Bantam,Grummer?’
Mr. Grummer intimated, by a retrospective shake of the head,that he should never forget it―as indeed it was not likely hewould, so long as it continued to be cited daily.
‘This is even more unconstitutional,’ said the magistrate; ‘this iseven a greater breach of the peace, and a grosser infringement83 ofhis Majesty’s prerogative84. I believe duelling is one of his Majesty’smost undoubted prerogatives85, Mr. Jinks?’
‘Expressly stipulated86 in Magna Charta, sir,’ said Mr. Jinks.
‘One of the brightest jewels in the British crown, wrung87 fromhis Majesty by the barons88, I believe, Mr. Jinks?’ said themagistrate.
‘Just so, sir,’ replied Mr. Jinks.
‘Very well,’ said the magistrate, drawing himself up proudly, ‘itshall not be violated in this portion of his dominions89. Grummer,procure assistance, and execute these warrants with as little delayas possible. Muzzle!’
‘Yes, your Worship.’
‘Show the lady out.’
Miss Witherfield retired, deeply impressed with themagistrate’s learning and research; Mr. Nupkins retired to lunch;Mr. Jinks retired within himself―that being the only retirementhe had, except the sofa-bedstead in the small parlour which wasoccupied by his landlady’s family in the daytime―and Mr.
Grummer retired, to wipe out, by his mode of discharging hispresent commission, the insult which had been fastened uponhimself, and the other representative of his Majesty―the beadle―in the course of the morning.
While these resolute90 and determined preparations for theconservation of the king’s peace were pending91, Mr. Pickwick andhis friends, wholly unconscious of the mighty92 events in progress,had sat quietly down to dinner; and very talkative andcompanionable they all were. Mr. Pickwick was in the very act ofrelating his adventure of the preceding night, to the greatamusement of his followers93, Mr. Tupman especially, when thedoor opened, and a somewhat forbidding countenance peeped intothe room. The eyes in the forbidding countenance looked veryearnestly at Mr. Pickwick, for several seconds, and were to allappearance satisfied with their investigation94; for the body to whichthe forbidding countenance belonged, slowly brought itself intothe apartment, and presented the form of an elderly individual intop-boots―not to keep the reader any longer in suspense95, in short,the eyes were the wandering eyes of Mr. Grummer, and the bodywas the body of the same gentleman.
Mr. Grummer’s mode of proceeding9 was professional, butpeculiar. His first act was to bolt the door on the inside; hissecond, to polish his head and countenance very carefully with acotton handkerchief; his third, to place his hat, with the cottonhandkerchief in it, on the nearest chair; and his fourth, to producefrom the breast-pocket of his coat a short truncheon, surmountedby a brazen96 crown, with which he beckoned97 to Mr. Pickwick witha grave and ghost-like air.
Mr. Snodgrass was the first to break the astonished silence. Helooked steadily98 at Mr. Grummer for a brief space, and then saidemphatically, ‘This is a private room, sir. A private room.’
Mr. Grummer shook his head, and replied, ‘No room’s privateto his Majesty when the street door’s once passed. That’s law.
Some people maintains that an Englishman’s house is his castle.
That’s gammon.’
The Pickwickians gazed on each other with wondering eyes.
‘Which is Mr. Tupman?’ inquired Mr. Grummer. He had anintuitive perception of Mr. Pickwick; he knew him at once.
‘My name’s Tupman,’ said that gentleman.
‘My name’s Law,’ said Mr. Grummer.
‘What?’ said Mr. Tupman.
‘Law,’ replied Mr. Grummer―‘Law, civil power, and exekative;them’s my titles; here’s my authority. Blank Tupman, blankPickwick―against the peace of our sufferin’ lord the king―stattitin the case made and purwided―and all regular. I apprehend99 youPickwick! Tupman―the aforesaid.’
‘What do you mean by this insolence100?’ said Mr. Tupman,starting up; ‘leave the room!’
‘Hollo,’ said Mr. Grummer, retreating very expeditiously101 to thedoor, and opening it an inch or two, ‘Dubbley.’
‘Well,’ said a deep voice from the passage.
‘Come for’ard, Dubbley.’
At the word of command, a dirty-faced man, something over sixfeet high, and stout102 in proportion, squeezed himself through thehalf-open door (making his face very red in the process), andentered the room.
‘Is the other specials outside, Dubbley?’ inquired Mr.
Grummer.
Mr. Dubbley, who was a man of few words, nodded assent103.
‘Order in the diwision under your charge, Dubbley,’ said Mr.
Grummer.
Mr. Dubbley did as he was desired; and half a dozen men, eachwith a short truncheon and a brass104 crown, flocked into the room.
Mr. Grummer pocketed his staff, and looked at Mr. Dubbley; Mr.
Dubbley pocketed his staff and looked at the division; the divisionpocketed their staves and looked at Messrs. Tupman andPickwick.
Mr. Pickwick and his followers rose as one man.
‘What is the meaning of this atrocious intrusion upon myprivacy?’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘Who dares apprehend me?’ said Mr. Tupman.
‘What do you want here, scoundrels?’ said Mr. Snodgrass.
Mr. Winkle said nothing, but he fixed105 his eyes on Grummer,and bestowed106 a look upon him, which, if he had had any feeling,must have pierced his brain. As it was, however, it had no visibleeffect on him whatever.
When the executive perceived that Mr. Pickwick and his friendswere disposed to resist the authority of the law, they verysignificantly turned up their coat sleeves, as if knocking themdown in the first instance, and taking them up afterwards, were amere professional act which had only to be thought of to be done,as a matter of course. This demonstration107 was not lost upon Mr.
Pickwick. He conferred a few moments with Mr. Tupman apart,and then signified his readiness to proceed to the mayor’sresidence, merely begging the parties then and there assembled,to take notice, that it was his firm intention to resent thismonstrous invasion of his privileges as an Englishman, the instanthe was at liberty; whereat the parties then and there assembledlaughed very heartily108, with the single exception of Mr. Grummer,who seemed to consider that any slight cast upon the divine rightof magistrates was a species of blasphemy109 not to be tolerated.
But when Mr. Pickwick had signified his readiness to bow tothe laws of his country, and just when the waiters, and hostlers,and chambermaids, and post-boys, who had anticipated adelightful commotion110 from his threatened obstinacy111, began to turnaway, disappointed and disgusted, a difficulty arose which had notbeen foreseen. With every sentiment of veneration112 for theconstituted authorities, Mr. Pickwick resolutely113 protested againstmaking his appearance in the public streets, surrounded andguarded by the officers of justice, like a common criminal. Mr.
Grummer, in the then disturbed state of public feeling (for it washalf-holiday, and the boys had not yet gone home), as resolutelyprotested against walking on the opposite side of the way, andtaking Mr. Pickwick’s parole that he would go straight to themagistrate’s; and both Mr. Pickwick and Mr. Tupman asstrenuously objected to the expense of a post-coach, which was theonly respectable conveyance114 that could be obtained. The disputeran high, and the dilemma115 lasted long; and just as the executivewere on the point of overcoming Mr. Pickwick’s objection towalking to the magistrate’s, by the trite116 expedient117 of carrying himthither, it was recollected118 that there stood in the inn yard, an oldsedan-chair, which, having been originally built for a goutygentleman with funded property, would hold Mr. Pickwick andMr. Tupman, at least as conveniently as a modern post-chaise. Thechair was hired, and brought into the hall; Mr. Pickwick and Mr.
Tupman squeezed themselves inside, and pulled down the blinds;a couple of chairmen were speedily found; and the processionstarted in grand order. The specials surrounded the body of thevehicle; Mr. Grummer and Mr. Dubbley marched triumphantly119 infront; Mr. Snodgrass and Mr. Winkle walked arm-in-arm behind;and the unsoaped of Ipswich brought up the rear.
The shopkeepers of the town, although they had a veryindistinct notion of the nature of the offence, could not but bemuch edified120 and gratified by this spectacle. Here was the strongarm of the law, coming down with twenty gold-beater force, upontwo offenders121 from the metropolis122 itself; the mighty engine wasdirected by their own magistrate, and worked by their ownofficers; and both the criminals, by their united efforts, weresecurely shut up, in the narrow compass of one sedan-chair. Manywere the expressions of approval and admiration123 which greetedMr. Grummer, as he headed the cavalcade124, staff in hand; loud andlong were the shouts raised by the unsoaped; and amidst theseunited testimonials of public approbation125, the procession movedslowly and majestically126 along.
Mr. Weller, habited in his morning jacket, with the black calicosleeves, was returning in a rather desponding state from anunsuccessful survey of the mysterious house with the green gate,when, raising his eyes, he beheld127 a crowd pouring down the street,surrounding an object which had very much the appearance of asedan-chair. Willing to divert his thoughts from the failure of hisenterprise, he stepped aside to see the crowd pass; and findingthat they were cheering away, very much to their own satisfaction,forthwith began (by way of raising his spirits) to cheer too, with allhis might and main.
Mr. Grummer passed, and Mr. Dubbley passed, and the sedanpassed, and the bodyguard128 of specials passed, and Sam was stillresponding to the enthusiastic cheers of the mob, and waving hishat about as if he were in the very last extreme of the wildest joy(though, of course, he had not the faintest idea of the matter inhand), when he was suddenly stopped by the unexpectedappearance of Mr. Winkle and Mr. Snodgrass.
‘What’s the row, gen’l’m’n?’ cried Sam. ‘Who have they got inthis here watch-box in mournin’?’
Both gentlemen replied together, but their words were lost inthe tumult.
‘Who is it?’ cried Sam again.
once more was a joint129 reply returned; and, though the wordswere inaudible, Sam saw by the motion of the two pairs of lips thatthey had uttered the magic word ‘Pickwick.’
This was enough. In another minute Mr. Weller had made hisway through the crowd, stopped the chairmen, and confronted theportly Grummer.
‘Hollo, old gen’l’m’n!’ said Sam. ‘Who have you got in this hereconweyance?’
‘Stand back,’ said Mr. Grummer, whose dignity, like the dignityof a great many other men, had been wondrously130 augmented131 by alittle popularity.
‘Knock him down, if he don’t,’ said Mr. Dubbley.
‘I’m wery much obliged to you, old gen’l’m’n,’ replied Sam, ‘forconsulting my conwenience, and I’m still more obliged to the othergen’l’m’n, who looks as if he’d just escaped from a giant’scarrywan, for his wery ’andsome suggestion; but I should preferyour givin’ me a answer to my question, if it’s all the same toyou.―How are you, sir?’ This last observation was addressed witha patronising air to Mr. Pickwick, who was peeping through thefront window.
Mr. Grummer, perfectly speechless with indignation, draggedthe truncheon with the brass crown from its particular pocket, andflourished it before Sam’s eyes.
‘Ah,’ said Sam, ‘it’s wery pretty, ’specially the crown, which isuncommon like the real one.’
‘Stand back!’ said the outraged132 Mr. Grummer. By way ofadding force to the command, he thrust the brass emblem133 ofroyalty into Sam’s neckcloth with one hand, and seized Sam’scollar with the other―a compliment which Mr. Weller returned byknocking him down out of hand, having previously134 with theutmost consideration, knocked down a chairman for him to lieupon.
Whether Mr. Winkle was seized with a temporary attack of thatspecies of insanity135 which originates in a sense of injury, oranimated by this display of Mr. Weller’s valour, is uncertain; butcertain it is, that he no sooner saw Mr. Grummer fall than he madea terrific onslaught on a small boy who stood next him; whereuponMr. Snodgrass, in a truly Christian136 spirit, and in order that hemight take no one unawares, announced in a very loud tone thathe was going to begin, and proceeded to take off his coat with theutmost deliberation. He was immediately surrounded andsecured; and it is but common justice both to him and Mr. Winkleto say, that they did not make the slightest attempt to rescueeither themselves or Mr. Weller; who, after a most vigorousresistance, was overpowered by numbers and taken prisoner. Theprocession then reformed; the chairmen resumed their stations;and the march was re-commenced.
Mr. Pickwick’s indignation during the whole of this proceedingwas beyond all bounds. He could just see Sam upsetting thespecials, and flying about in every direction; and that was all hecould see, for the sedan doors wouldn’t open, and the blindswouldn’t pull up. At length, with the assistance of Mr. Tupman, hemanaged to push open the roof; and mounting on the seat, andsteadying himself as well as he could, by placing his hand on thatgentleman’s shoulder, Mr. Pickwick proceeded to address themultitude; to dwell upon the unjustifiable manner in which he hadbeen treated; and to call upon them to take notice that his servanthad been first assaulted. In this order they reached themagistrate’s house; the chairmen trotting137, the prisoners following,Mr. Pickwick oratorising, and the crowd shouting.
收听单词发音 |
1
middle-aged
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| adj.中年的 | |
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2
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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3
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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philosophical
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| adj.哲学家的，哲学上的，达观的 | |
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spectral
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| adj.幽灵的，鬼魂的 | |
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irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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verging
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| 接近，逼近（verge的现在分词形式） | |
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expatiate
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| v.细说，详述 | |
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tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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forefinger
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| n.食指 | |
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exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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18
expressive
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| adj.表现的，表达…的，富于表情的 | |
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19
extremities
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| n.端点( extremity的名词复数 )；尽头；手和足；极窘迫的境地 | |
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intruded
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| n.侵入的，推进的v.侵入，侵扰，打扰( intrude的过去式和过去分词 )；把…强加于 | |
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21
conjugated
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| adj.共轭的，成对的v.列出（动词的）变化形式( conjugate的过去式和过去分词 )；结合，联合，熔化 | |
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22
imperative
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| n.命令，需要；规则；祈使语气；adj.强制的；紧急的 | |
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23
awaken
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| vi.醒，觉醒；vt.唤醒，使觉醒，唤起，激起 | |
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24
recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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25
delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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copiously
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| adv.丰富地，充裕地 | |
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27
repent
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| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
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28
implicit
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| a.暗示的，含蓄的，不明晰的，绝对的 | |
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29
sneer
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| v.轻蔑；嘲笑；n.嘲笑，讥讽的言语 | |
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30
superfluous
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| adj.过多的，过剩的，多余的 | |
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31
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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32
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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33
taunt
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| n.辱骂，嘲弄；v.嘲弄 | |
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34
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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35
lavish
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| adj.无节制的；浪费的；vt.慷慨地给予，挥霍 | |
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36
veracity
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| n.诚实 | |
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37
encyclopedias
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| n.百科全书， （某一学科的）专科全书( encyclopedia的名词复数 ) | |
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38
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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39
eminently
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| adv.突出地；显著地；不寻常地 | |
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40
innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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41
wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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42
meditation
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| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
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43
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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44
versed
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| adj. 精通，熟练 | |
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45
meditate
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| v.想，考虑，（尤指宗教上的）沉思，冥想 | |
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46
slaughter
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| n.屠杀，屠宰；vt.屠杀，宰杀 | |
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47
meditated
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| 深思，沉思，冥想( meditate的过去式和过去分词 )； 内心策划，考虑 | |
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48
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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49
magistrate
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| n.地方行政官，地方法官，治安官 | |
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50
impelled
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| v.推动、推进或敦促某人做某事( impel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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51
allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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52
beholding
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| v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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53
persuasion
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| n.劝说；说服；持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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54
boisterous
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| adj.喧闹的，欢闹的 | |
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55
dwelling
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| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
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56
irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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57
conspired
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| 密谋( conspire的过去式和过去分词 )； 搞阴谋； （事件等）巧合； 共同导致 | |
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58
obnoxious
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| adj.极恼人的，讨人厌的，可憎的 | |
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59
hooted
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| （使）作汽笛声响，作汽车喇叭声( hoot的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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60
pelted
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| （连续地）投掷( pelt的过去式和过去分词 )； 连续抨击； 攻击； 剥去…的皮 | |
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61
tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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62
majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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63
mandates
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| 托管（mandate的第三人称单数形式） | |
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64
magistrates
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| 地方法官，治安官( magistrate的名词复数 ) | |
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65
potentates
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| n.君主，统治者( potentate的名词复数 )；有权势的人 | |
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66
ushered
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| v.引，领，陪同( usher的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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67
muzzle
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| n.鼻口部；口套；枪(炮)口；vt.使缄默 | |
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68
distressing
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| a.使人痛苦的 | |
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69
duel
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| n./v.决斗；(双方的)斗争 | |
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70
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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71
contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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72
breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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73
astounded
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| v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词)；愕然；愕；惊讶 | |
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74
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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75
humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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76
absconded
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| v.（尤指逃避逮捕）潜逃，逃跑( abscond的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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77
obsequious
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| adj.谄媚的，奉承的，顺从的 | |
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78
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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79
hoarse
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| adj.嘶哑的，沙哑的 | |
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80
subsided
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| v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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81
naught
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| n.无，零 [=nought] | |
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82
maxim
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| n.格言，箴言 | |
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83
infringement
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| n.违反；侵权 | |
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84
prerogative
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| n.特权 | |
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85
prerogatives
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| n.权利( prerogative的名词复数 )；特权；大主教法庭；总督委任组成的法庭 | |
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86
stipulated
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| vt.& vi.规定；约定adj.[法]合同规定的 | |
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87
wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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88
barons
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| 男爵( baron的名词复数 )； 巨头； 大王； 大亨 | |
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89
dominions
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| 统治权( dominion的名词复数 )； 领土； 疆土； 版图 | |
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90
resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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91
pending
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| prep.直到，等待…期间；adj.待定的；迫近的 | |
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92
mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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93
followers
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| 追随者( follower的名词复数 )； 用户； 契据的附面； 从动件 | |
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94
investigation
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| n.调查，调查研究 | |
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95
suspense
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| n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑 | |
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96
brazen
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| adj.厚脸皮的，无耻的，坚硬的 | |
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97
beckoned
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| v.（用头或手的动作）示意，召唤( beckon的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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98
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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99
apprehend
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| vt.理解，领悟，逮捕，拘捕，忧虑 | |
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100
insolence
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| n.傲慢；无礼；厚颜；傲慢的态度 | |
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101
expeditiously
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| adv.迅速地，敏捷地 | |
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103
assent
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| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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104
brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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105
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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106
bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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107
demonstration
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| n.表明，示范，论证，示威 | |
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108
heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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109
blasphemy
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| n.亵渎，渎神 | |
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110
commotion
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| n.骚动，动乱 | |
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111
obstinacy
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| n.顽固；（病痛等）难治 | |
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112
veneration
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| n.尊敬，崇拜 | |
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113
resolutely
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| adj.坚决地，果断地 | |
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114
conveyance
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| n.(不动产等的)转让，让与；转让证书；传送；运送；表达；（正）运输工具 | |
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115
dilemma
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| n.困境，进退两难的局面 | |
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116
trite
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| adj.陈腐的 | |
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expedient
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| adj.有用的，有利的；n.紧急的办法，权宜之计 | |
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118
recollected
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| adj.冷静的；镇定的；被回忆起的；沉思默想的v.记起，想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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119
triumphantly
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| ad.得意洋洋地；得胜地；成功地 | |
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120
edified
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| v.开导，启发( edify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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121
offenders
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| n.冒犯者( offender的名词复数 )；犯规者；罪犯；妨害…的人（或事物） | |
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122
metropolis
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| n.首府；大城市 | |
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123
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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124
cavalcade
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| n.车队等的行列 | |
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125
approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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126
majestically
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| 雄伟地； 庄重地； 威严地； 崇高地 | |
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127
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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128
bodyguard
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| n.护卫，保镖 | |
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129
joint
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| adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合 | |
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130
wondrously
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| adv.惊奇地，非常，极其 | |
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131
Augmented
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| adj.增音的 动词augment的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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133
emblem
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| n.象征，标志；徽章 | |
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134
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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135
insanity
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| n.疯狂，精神错乱；极端的愚蠢，荒唐 | |
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136
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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137
trotting
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| 小跑，急走( trot的现在分词 )； 匆匆忙忙地走 | |
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