Abbey of St. Agnes, Bath May 1178 I became myself again, living the next five years among the
nuns1 of St. Agnes. Mother Sebastian welcomed me back with open arms. I wondered at first if she had not heard of my affair with the king and of all that followed. But when we prayed together alone in my room, in front of the prie-dieu that they had built for me so long ago, she commended the soul of my daughter to heaven. I knew then that she had heard the whole story of my time with the king. I prayed for Marie Helene, safely married to Charles of Anjou at the queen’s bidding. I prayed also for Bijou, though she was only a dog. Marie Helene had taken my puppy away with her when she went by ship to meet her husband. Even I could keep no dogs in the nunnery. I prayed for Henry and for Richard, the men I would always love, the men I could not keep. And always, I prayed for Eleanor. I took to painting again almost as if I had not left it. I found myself fascinated with the Birth of the Holy Child, and I would paint nothing else. I worked with deep colors, leaving the dark tones of the vellum to stand in place for the skin of Our Lord. I painted Him always in the manger, surrounded by His Mother and singing angels, His limbs swaddled and His mouth smiling. Always, when I was done, the Christ Child wore her face. These little vellum paintings became valued by the sisters as objects of devotion, and in the last year there had been a call for them even out in the world. The wealthy women of the county would come by litter in person to take one of my paintings from the convent, leaving a healthy gift of gold or silver in its place. The Mother said that these paintings caught something of the joy as well as the sorrow in the birth of Our Lord. She said also that I was not the only woman ever to lose a child. I was old enough by then to understand her. I sat in the garden on a beautiful spring day, five years after my daughter had been born and died. I wore a simple black gown and veil. My hair had grown back long past my shoulders. The sun was high and warm, and I worked with my paints laid in the shade so that they would not dry out. I had brought my high table into the yard, as no one else would have been allowed to do. Though I lived among the sisters, I was not one of them. I added the smallest touch of blue to the Christ Child’s eye where He looked out from my painting, smiling as Rose had smiled at me. I laid my brush down and looked at the face of my daughter where I had painted her on the vellum. It was intended for a squire’s wife down the road in Bath, and her
retinue2 was coming for it on the morrow. As I sat among the flowers of the simples garden, Richard came to me. He had met with my father the year before at Rouen. He had stood as witness to the lie Henry swore was truth: that Henry had never touched me. My father and King Henry had confirmed my
betrothal3 to Richard once more. I wondered now, and not for the first time, what Richard thought of this, of the whole world pushing me into his arms, when all but my father knew I had been the king’s mistress. Richard was as tall and straight as I had ever seen him, and it seemed that his shoulders were even wider than I remembered. His red hair was touched with gold in the sunlight. I had forgotten how beautiful he was. He seemed older than his twenty-one years. I knew that he still bore the burden of his father’s enmity, and the loss of his mother. Just weeks after I had last seen her, Eleanor had led her sons in a rebellion against their father, a war that even I, as close as we had been, could not have foreseen. Even Henry had been caught
unaware4, but he had known, as I did, that his sons would never have united against him without Eleanor urging them to it. The rebellion had ended with each of Henry’s sons falling one by one, as
pawns5 on a chessboard, to Henry’s superior strength. Henry had forgiven each of them, going so far as to offer them additional incomes and castles on the lands they held by title only. But Henry, being Henry, gave up none of his political power. Just as he had been unable and
unwilling6 to have a
partnership7 with me or with Eleanor before me, Henry would
brook8 no half measures with his sons. Though all three held title to their duchies, both by right of birth and by oath to their overlord, the King of France, Henry conceded nothing. Then, as always, Henry held his power close. I wondered if he found his power cold comfort, as my prayers were cold comfort for me. Despite his
largesse9 to his sons, Henry had not forgiven Eleanor. As the architect of the rebellion, as the mind who had united her sons against their father, Eleanor had been locked away. I did not stand to greet Richard as I once would have done. I shaded my eyes from the sun with one gloved hand and smiled. “Well met, my lord prince. You are welcome to this place.” There was a stone bench near my high table, and he sat down on it. “That is beautiful,” Richard said. “Thank you. Painting
soothes10 me as nothing else can.” His hair was longer, and reached his shoulders. This lion’s mane suited him, and brought out the electric blue of his eyes. “I have come to say that I am sorry.” I came down from my stool and sat beside him. Though it was no longer my right, I reached out and took his hand in mine. Richard’s hand was large, with long fingers and blunt-cut nails. The calluses rose on his palm where his sword bit into it, and made it stronger. “I am sorry for your loss, though I know it is years past,” he said. “I am sorry I could not come to you sooner.” “You are here now,” I said. We sat for a long time, his hand in mine. “Eleanor is still locked away at Sarum?” I asked, hoping perhaps she had been set free, and I simply had not heard of it. I knew that Henry would never let me go, but I prayed always that for Eleanor’s sake he would relent.
Confinement11 would
prey12 on her much more than it did on me. “She is at Winchester now. It is better for her there, but still, she is not free.” His face was closed to me, as it sometimes was when he
spoke13 of her. “I am sorry to hear it. I pray for her always.” “And will you pray for me, Alais?” For a moment, it was as if we were back in the kitchen garden at Windsor Castle. I could see his sword, driven into the ground at my feet, his blue eyes staring up at me, full of a love that neither of us would ever lay down completely. “I always pray for you, Richard. You will have my prayers with you until the day I die.” He looked away from me, and I knew that he swallowed his tears. But then he smiled, and it was as if a second sun came out to warm the garden. He spoke then of the reason he had come to me. “Mother sends her love.” Richard swallowed hard, as if suddenly shy, and met my eyes. “She reminded me of the conversation we had at Windsor, just before I was forced to leave. You saved me that day. I have never forgotten it.” “Richard, I did what I had to do.”
“No,” he said. “You did much more.” Richard stood, and drew me to my feet. “I tell you now that I have forgotten no
vow14 that lies between us.” I saw his love for me in his eyes, undimmed by the evil I had done. “I will love you, no matter how long you sit alone in this house of God. When my father is dead, I will come and fetch you out.” I heard his words imply all he could not say. He would one day marry me, even though I had
spurned15 him, even though I had borne his father a child. Our love still lived, untouched by politics and loss. I saw that it always would, no matter what might come to
tarnish16 it. Our love would gleam bright again, once we lifted our hands to polish it. Never had I hoped for such a
reprieve17. When I was released from the prison of my nunnery, Richard would come for me. He would honor our betrothal, not for politics or for the power my father’s lands might bring him, but for me. I pressed my lips to his cheek, taking in the sun-warmed
scent18 of his skin. His arms came around me, and drew me to him. For a long moment we did not speak, cherishing the revived possibilities between us. I knew that he would not be faithful, as no man was. But I knew he loved me. I knew that I loved him. We could start again, and make a true marriage, with nothing else to come between us. Richard spoke finally, and his voice was
hoarse19 with his
longing20 for me. His grip loosened, and I stepped back, so that I might once more see his face. “Mother is allowed no letters, but she instructed me to give you this message. She will bless our union. Nothing will give her more joy” He reached into the
pouch21 at his belt, and drew out a red rose with a shortened stem, a rose that bore no thorns. “The queen asks that I give you this, that you may not forget her, and her pledge.” I took the flower he offered me, its
petals22 like
velvet23 on my fingertips. It was a Persian rose, one of the strain Eleanor had brought back from the Levant years ago, when she was still married to my father. Richard drew me close and I felt his lips on my hair. “The king will not let me come again, I think, not for a very long time. Remember what I have said to you.” “I will remember.” I could feel his
reluctance24 to leave me, but his arms fell away. He strode away from me, as if afraid what he might do were he to linger. Richard turned back once at the gate, raised his hand, and smiled at me. I saw his red hair shining in the sun. When the day came for us to be married, I wondered if our children would wear his hair or mine. I saw Eleanor in his smile for the first time in that sun-warmed garden. I had never noticed before how his
slanted25 eyes were so like hers. We would all be together again. Eleanor had said so; she had foreseen it. Now so could I. Richard left me then, but his presence lingered, and that of Eleanor. I felt them with me as I stood alone in that garden, holding the rose Eleanor had sent me. I would have to give up the painting of my daughter’s face on the morrow. But I did not need a painting to remind me of Rose, and of all she meant to me. Tomorrow, I would start a new painting, and this one, I would keep. Mother Sebastian came to me then, bringing lay sisters with her to clean up my painting things, and to take me into the
chapel26 for prayers. I was glad to go. I was certain now that, one day, I would be free. I would enter the world once more, a woman of strength and power, as Eleanor had raised me to be.
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收听单词发音
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nuns
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n.(通常指基督教的)修女, (佛教的)尼姑( nun的名词复数 ) |
参考例句: |
- Ah Q had always had the greatest contempt for such people as little nuns. 小尼姑之流是阿Q本来视如草芥的。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
- Nuns are under vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. 修女须立誓保持清贫、贞洁、顺从。 来自辞典例句
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2
retinue
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n.侍从;随员 |
参考例句: |
- The duchess arrived,surrounded by her retinue of servants.公爵夫人在大批随从人马的簇拥下到达了。
- The king's retinue accompanied him on the journey.国王的侍从在旅途上陪伴着他。
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3
betrothal
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n. 婚约, 订婚 |
参考例句: |
- Their betrothal took place with great pomp and rejoicings. 他们举行了盛大而又欢乐的订婚仪式。
- "On the happy occasion of the announcement of your betrothal," he finished, bending over her hand. "在宣布你们订婚的喜庆日。" 他补充说,同时低下头来吻她的手。
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unaware
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a.不知道的,未意识到的 |
参考例句: |
- They were unaware that war was near. 他们不知道战争即将爆发。
- I was unaware of the man's presence. 我没有察觉到那人在场。
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pawns
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n.(国际象棋中的)兵( pawn的名词复数 );卒;被人利用的人;小卒v.典当,抵押( pawn的第三人称单数 );以(某事物)担保 |
参考例句: |
- The hostages are being used as political pawns. 人质正被用作政治卒子。
- The allies would fear that they were pawns in a superpower condominium. 这个联盟担心他们会成为超级大国共管的牺牲品。 来自《简明英汉词典》
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unwilling
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adj.不情愿的 |
参考例句: |
- The natives were unwilling to be bent by colonial power.土著居民不愿受殖民势力的摆布。
- His tightfisted employer was unwilling to give him a raise.他那吝啬的雇主不肯给他加薪。
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partnership
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n.合作关系,伙伴关系 |
参考例句: |
- The company has gone into partnership with Swiss Bank Corporation.这家公司已经和瑞士银行公司建立合作关系。
- Martin has taken him into general partnership in his company.马丁已让他成为公司的普通合伙人。
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brook
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n.小河,溪;v.忍受,容让 |
参考例句: |
- In our room we could hear the murmur of a distant brook.在我们房间能听到远处小溪汩汩的流水声。
- The brook trickled through the valley.小溪涓涓流过峡谷。
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largesse
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n.慷慨援助,施舍 |
参考例句: |
- She is not noted for her largesse.没人听说过她出手大方。
- Our people are in no need of richer nations' largesse.我国人民不需要富国的施舍。
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soothes
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v.安慰( soothe的第三人称单数 );抚慰;使舒服;减轻痛苦 |
参考例句: |
- Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes. 恐惧使人痛心,爱使痛苦减轻。 来自互联网
- His loe celebrates her victories and soothes her wounds. 他的爱庆祝她的胜利,也抚平她的创伤。 来自互联网
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confinement
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n.幽禁,拘留,监禁;分娩;限制,局限 |
参考例句: |
- He spent eleven years in solitary confinement.他度过了11年的单独监禁。
- The date for my wife's confinement was approaching closer and closer.妻子分娩的日子越来越近了。
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prey
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n.被掠食者,牺牲者,掠食;v.捕食,掠夺,折磨 |
参考例句: |
- Stronger animals prey on weaker ones.弱肉强食。
- The lion was hunting for its prey.狮子在寻找猎物。
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spoke
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n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 |
参考例句: |
- They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
- The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
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vow
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n.誓(言),誓约;v.起誓,立誓 |
参考例句: |
- My parents are under a vow to go to church every Sunday.我父母许愿,每星期日都去做礼拜。
- I am under a vow to drink no wine.我已立誓戒酒。
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spurned
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v.一脚踢开,拒绝接受( spurn的过去式和过去分词 ) |
参考例句: |
- Eve spurned Mark's invitation. 伊夫一口回绝了马克的邀请。
- With Mrs. Reed, I remember my best was always spurned with scorn. 对里德太太呢,我记得我的最大努力总是遭到唾弃。 来自辞典例句
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tarnish
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n.晦暗,污点;vt.使失去光泽;玷污 |
参考例句: |
- The affair could tarnish the reputation of the prime minister.这一事件可能有损首相的名誉。
- Stainless steel products won't tarnish.不锈钢产品不会失去光泽。
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reprieve
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n.暂缓执行(死刑);v.缓期执行;给…带来缓解 |
参考例句: |
- He was saved from the gallows by a lastminute reprieve.最后一刻的缓刑令把他从绞架上解救了下来。
- The railway line, due for closure, has been granted a six-month reprieve.本应停运的铁路线获准多运行6 个月。
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scent
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n.气味,香味,香水,线索,嗅觉;v.嗅,发觉 |
参考例句: |
- The air was filled with the scent of lilac.空气中弥漫着丁香花的芬芳。
- The flowers give off a heady scent at night.这些花晚上散发出醉人的芳香。
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hoarse
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adj.嘶哑的,沙哑的 |
参考例句: |
- He asked me a question in a hoarse voice.他用嘶哑的声音问了我一个问题。
- He was too excited and roared himself hoarse.他过于激动,嗓子都喊哑了。
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longing
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n.(for)渴望 |
参考例句: |
- Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
- His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。
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pouch
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n.小袋,小包,囊状袋;vt.装...入袋中,用袋运输;vi.用袋送信件 |
参考例句: |
- He was going to make a tobacco pouch out of them. 他要用它们缝制一个烟草袋。
- The old man is always carrying a tobacco pouch with him.这老汉总是随身带着烟袋。
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22
petals
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n.花瓣( petal的名词复数 ) |
参考例句: |
- white petals tinged with blue 略带蓝色的白花瓣
- The petals of many flowers expand in the sunshine. 许多花瓣在阳光下开放。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
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23
velvet
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n.丝绒,天鹅绒;adj.丝绒制的,柔软的 |
参考例句: |
- This material feels like velvet.这料子摸起来像丝绒。
- The new settlers wore the finest silk and velvet clothing.新来的移民穿着最华丽的丝绸和天鹅绒衣服。
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24
reluctance
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n.厌恶,讨厌,勉强,不情愿 |
参考例句: |
- The police released Andrew with reluctance.警方勉强把安德鲁放走了。
- He showed the greatest reluctance to make a reply.他表示很不愿意答复。
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slanted
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有偏见的; 倾斜的 |
参考例句: |
- The sun slanted through the window. 太阳斜照进窗户。
- She had slanted brown eyes. 她有一双棕色的丹凤眼。
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chapel
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n.小教堂,殡仪馆 |
参考例句: |
- The nimble hero,skipped into a chapel that stood near.敏捷的英雄跳进近旁的一座小教堂里。
- She was on the peak that Sunday afternoon when she played in chapel.那个星期天的下午,她在小教堂的演出,可以说是登峰造极。
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