INASMUCH as I was now the second personage in the Kingdom, as far as political power and authorty were concerned, much was made of me. My raiment was of silks and velvets and cloth of gold, and by consequence was very showy, also uncomfortable. But habit would soon reconcile me to my clothes; I was aware of that. I was given the choicest suite1 of apartments in the castle, after the king's. They were aglow2 with loud-colored silken hangings, but the stone floors had nothing but rushes on them for a carpet, and they were misfit rushes at that, being not all of one breed. As for conveniences, properly speaking, there weren't any. I mean LITTLE conveniences; it is the little conveniences that make the real comfort of life. The big oaken chairs, graced with rude carvings3, were well enough, but that was the stopping place. There was no soap, no matches, no looking-glass -- except a metal one, about as powerful as a pail of water. And not a chromo. I had been used to chromos for years, and I saw now that without my suspecting it a passion for art had got worked into the fabric4 of my being, and was become a part of me. It made me homesick to look around over this proud and gaudy5 but heartless barrenness and remember that in our house in East Hartford, all unpretending as it was, you couldn't go into a room but you would find an insurance-chromo, or at least a three-color God-Bless-Our-Home over the door; and in the parlor6 we had nine. But here, even in my grand room of state, there wasn't anything in the nature of a picture except a thing the size of a bedquilt, which was either woven or knitted (it had darned places in it), and nothing in it was the right color or the right shape; and as for proportions, even Raphael himself couldn't have botched them more formidably, after all his practice on those nightmares they call his "celebrated7 Hampton Court cartoons." Raphael was a bird. We had several of his chromos; one was his "Miraculous8 Draught9 of Fishes," where he puts in a miracle of his own -- puts three men into a cano
e which wouldn't have held a dog without upsetting. I always admired to study R.'s art, it was so fresh and unconventional.
There wasn't even a bell or a speaking-tube in the castle. I had a great many servants, and those that were on duty lolled in the anteroom; and when I wanted one of them I had to go and call for him. There was no gas, there were no candles; a bronze dish half full of boarding-house butter with a blazing rag floating in it was the thing that produced what was regarded as light. A lot of these hung along the walls and modified the dark, just toned it down enough to make it dismal10. If you went out at night, your servants carried torches. There were no books, pens, paper or ink, and no glass in the openings they believed to be windows. It is a little thing -- glass is -until it is absent, then it becomes a big thing. But perhaps the worst of all was, that there wasn't any sugar, coffee, tea, or tobacco. I saw that I was just another Robinson Crusoe cast away on an uninhabited island, with no society but some more or less tame animals, and if I wanted to make life bearable I must do as he did -- invent, contrive11, create, reorganize things; set brain and hand to work, and keep them busy. Well, that was in my line.
One thing troubled me along at first -- the immense interest which people took in me. Apparently12 the whole nation wanted a look at me. It soon transpired13 that the eclipse had scared the British world almost to death; that while it lasted the whole country, from one end to the other, was in a pitiable state of panic, and the churches, hermitages, and monkeries overflowed14 with praying and weeping poor creatures who thought the end of the world was come. Then had followed the news that the producer of this awful event was a stranger, a mighty15 magician at Arthur's court; that he could have blown out the sun like a candle, and was just going to do it when his mercy was purchased, and he then dissolved his enchantments16, and was now recognized and honored as the man who had by his unaided might saved the globe from destruction and its peoples from extinction17. Now if you consider that everybody believed that, and not only believed it, but never even dreamed of doubting it, you will easily understand that there was not a person in all Britain that would not have walked fifty miles to get a sight of me. Of course I was all the talk -- all other subjects were dropped; even the king became suddenly a person of minor18 interest and notoriety. Within twentyfour hours the delegations19 began to arrive, and from that time onward20 for a fortnight they kept coming. The village was crowded, and all the countryside. I had to go out a dozen times a day and show myself to these reverent22 and awe-stricken multitudes. It came to be a great burden, as to time and trouble, but of course it was at the same time compensatingly agreeable to be so celebrated and such a center of homage23. It turned Brer Merlin green with envy and spite, which was a great satisfaction to me. But there was one thing I couldn't understand -- nobody had asked for an autograph. I spoke24 to Clarence about it. By George! I had to explain to him what it was. Then he said nobody in the country could read or write but a few dozen priests. Land! think of that.
There was another thing that troubled me a little. Those multitudes presently began to agitate25 for another miracle. That was natural. To be able to carry back to their far homes the boast that they had seen the man who could command the sun, riding in the heavens, and be obeyed, would make them great in the eyes of their neighbors, and envied by them all; but to be able to also say they had seen him work a miracle themselves -- why, people would come a distance to see THEM. The pressure got to be pretty strong. There was going to be an eclipse of the moon, and I knew the date and hour, but it was too far away. Two years. I would have given a good deal for license26 to hurry it up and use it now when there was a big market for it. It seemed a great pity to have it wasted so, and come lagging along at a time when a body wouldn't have any use for it, as like as not. If it had been booked for only a month away, I could have sold it short; but, as matters stood, I couldn't seem to cipher27 out any way to make it do me any good, so I gave up trying. Next, Clarence found that old Merlin was making himself busy on the sly among those people. He was spreading a report that I was a humbug28, and that the reason I didn't accommodate the people with a miracle was because I couldn't. I saw that I must do something. I presently thought out a plan.
By my authority as executive I threw Merlin into prison -- the same cell I had occupied myself. Then I gave public notice by herald29 and trumpet30 that I should be busy with affairs of state for a fortnight, but about the end of that time I would take a moment's leisure and blow up Merlin's stone tower by fires from heaven; in the meantime, whoso listened to evil reports about me, let him beware. Furthermore, I would perform but this one miracle at this time, and no more; if it failed to satisfy and any murmured, I would turn the murmurers into horses, and make them useful. Quiet ensued.
I took Clarence into my confidence, to a certain degree, and we went to work privately31. I told him that this was a sort of miracle that required a trifle of preparation, and that it would be sudden death to ever talk about these preparations to anybody. That made his mouth safe enough. Clandestinely32 we made a few bushels of first-rate blasting powder, and I superintended my armorers while they constructed a lightningrod and some wires. This old stone tower was very massive -- and rather ruinous, too, for it was Roman, and four hundred years old. Yes, and handsome, after a rude fashion, and clothed with ivy33 from base to summit, as with a shirt of scale mail. It stood on a lonely eminence34, in good view from the castle, and about half a mile away.
Working by night, we stowed the powder in the tower -- dug stones out, on the inside, and buried the powder in the walls themselves, which were fifteen feet thick at the base. We put in a peck at a time, in a dozen places. We could have blown up the Tower of London with these charges. When the thirteenth night was come we put up our lightning-rod, bedded it in one of the batches35 of powder, and ran wires from it to the other batches. Everybody had shunned36 that locality from the day of my proclamation, but on the morning of the fourteenth I thought best to warn the people, through the heralds37, to keep clear away -- a quarter of a mile away. Then added, by command, that at some time during the twenty-four hours I would consummate38 the miracle, but would first give a brief notice; by flags on the castle towers if in the daytime, by torch-baskets in the same places if at night.
Thunder-showers had been tolerably frequent of late, and I was not much afraid of a failure; still, I shouldn't have cared for a delay of a day or two; I should have explained that I was busy with affairs of state yet, and the people must wait.
Of course, we had a blazing sunny day -- almost the first one without a cloud for three weeks; things always happen so. I kept secluded39, and watched the weather. Clarence dropped in from time to time and said the public excitement was growing and growing all the time, and the whole country filling up with human masses as far as one could see from the battlements. At last the wind sprang up and a cloud appeared -- in the right quarter, too, and just at nightfall. For a little while I watched that distant cloud spread and blacken, then I judged it was time for me to appear. I ordered the torch-baskets to be lit, and Merlin liberated40 and sent to me. A quarter of an hour later I ascended41 the parapet and there found the king and the court assembled and gazing off in the darkness toward Merlin's Tower. Already the darkness was so heavy that one could not see far; these people and the old turrets42, being partly in deep shadow and partly in the red glow from the great torch-baskets overhead, made a good deal of a picture.
Merlin arrived in a gloomy mood. I said:
"You wanted to burn me alive when I had not done you any harm, and latterly you have been trying to injure my professional reputation. Therefore I am going to call down fire and blow up your tower, but it is only fair to give you a chance; now if you think you can break my enchantments and ward21 off the fires, step to the bat, it's your innings."
"I can, fair sir, and I will. Doubt it not."
He drew an imaginary circle on the stones of the roof, and burnt a pinch of powder in it, which sent up a small cloud of aromatic43 smoke, whereat everybody fell back and began to cross themselves and get uncomfortable. Then he began to mutter and make passes in the air with his hands. He worked himself up slowly and gradually into a sort of frenzy44, and got to thrashing around with his arms like the sails of a windmill. By this time the storm had about reached us; the gusts45 of wind were flaring46 the torches and making the shadows swash about, the first heavy drops of rain were falling, the world abroad was black as pitch, the lightning began to wink47 fitfully. Of course, my rod would be loading itself now. In fact, things were imminent48. So I said:
"You have had time enough. I have given you every advantage, and not interfered49. It is plain your magic is weak. It is only fair that I begin now."
I made about three passes in the air, and then there was an awful crash and that old tower leaped into the sky in chunks50, along with a vast volcanic51 fountain of fire that turned night to noonday, and showed a thousand acres of human beings groveling on the ground in a general collapse52 of consternation53. Well, it rained mortar54 and masonry55 the rest of the week. This was the report; but probably the facts would have modified it.
It was an effective miracle. The great bothersome temporary population vanished. There were a good many thousand tracks in the mud the next morning, but they were all outward bound. If I had advertised another miracle I couldn't have raised an audience with a sheriff.
Merlin's stock was flat. The king wanted to stop his wages; he even wanted to banish56 him, but I interfered. I said he would be useful to work the weather, and attend to small matters like that, and I would give him a lift now and then when his poor little parlormagic soured on him. There wasn't a rag of his tower left, but I had the government rebuild it for him, and advised him to take boarders; but he was too hightoned for that. And as for being grateful, he never even said thank you. He was a rather hard lot, take him how you might; but then you couldn't fairly expect a man to be sweet that had been set back so.
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suite
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| n.一套(家具)；套房；随从人员 | |
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aglow
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| adj.发亮的；发红的；adv.发亮地 | |
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carvings
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| n.雕刻( carving的名词复数 )；雕刻术；雕刻品；雕刻物 | |
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fabric
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| n.织物，织品，布；构造，结构，组织 | |
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gaudy
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| adj.华而不实的；俗丽的 | |
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parlor
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| n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅 | |
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celebrated
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| adj.有名的，声誉卓著的 | |
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miraculous
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| adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的 | |
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draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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dismal
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| adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的 | |
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contrive
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| vt.谋划，策划；设法做到；设计，想出 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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transpired
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| （事实，秘密等）被人知道( transpire的过去式和过去分词 )； 泄露； 显露； 发生 | |
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overflowed
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| 溢出的 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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enchantments
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| n.魅力( enchantment的名词复数 )；迷人之处；施魔法；着魔 | |
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extinction
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| n.熄灭，消亡，消灭，灭绝，绝种 | |
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minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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delegations
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| n.代表团( delegation的名词复数 )；委托，委派 | |
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onward
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| adj.向前的，前进的；adv.向前，前进，在先 | |
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ward
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| n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开 | |
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reverent
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| adj.恭敬的，虔诚的 | |
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homage
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| n.尊敬，敬意，崇敬 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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25
agitate
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| vi.(for,against)煽动，鼓动；vt.搅动 | |
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license
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| n.执照，许可证，特许；v.许可，特许 | |
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cipher
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| n.零；无影响力的人；密码 | |
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humbug
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| n.花招，谎话，欺骗 | |
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herald
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| vt.预示...的来临，预告，宣布，欢迎 | |
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trumpet
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| n.喇叭，喇叭声；v.吹喇叭，吹嘘 | |
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privately
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| adv.以私人的身份，悄悄地，私下地 | |
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clandestinely
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| adv.秘密地，暗中地 | |
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ivy
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| n.常青藤，常春藤 | |
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eminence
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| n.卓越，显赫；高地，高处；名家 | |
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batches
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| 一批( batch的名词复数 )； 一炉； （食物、药物等的）一批生产的量； 成批作业 | |
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shunned
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| v.避开，回避，避免( shun的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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heralds
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| n.使者( herald的名词复数 )；预报者；预兆；传令官v.预示( herald的第三人称单数 )；宣布（好或重要） | |
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consummate
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| adj.完美的；v.成婚；使完美 [反]baffle | |
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secluded
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| adj.与世隔绝的；隐退的；偏僻的v.使隔开，使隐退( seclude的过去式和过去分词) | |
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liberated
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| a.无拘束的，放纵的 | |
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ascended
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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turrets
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| （六角）转台( turret的名词复数 )； （战舰和坦克等上的）转动炮塔； （摄影机等上的）镜头转台； （旧时攻城用的）塔车 | |
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aromatic
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| adj.芳香的，有香味的 | |
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frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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45
gusts
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| 一阵强风( gust的名词复数 )； （怒、笑等的）爆发； （感情的）迸发； 发作 | |
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flaring
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| a.火焰摇曳的，过份艳丽的 | |
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wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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imminent
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| adj.即将发生的，临近的，逼近的 | |
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49
interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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chunks
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| 厚厚的一块( chunk的名词复数 )； （某物）相当大的数量或部分 | |
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volcanic
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| adj.火山的；象火山的；由火山引起的 | |
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collapse
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| vi.累倒；昏倒；倒塌；塌陷 | |
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53
consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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54
mortar
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| n.灰浆，灰泥；迫击炮；v.把…用灰浆涂接合 | |
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masonry
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| n.砖土建筑；砖石 | |
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56
banish
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| vt.放逐，驱逐；消除，排除 | |
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