HOWEVER, I made a dead set at him, and before the first third of the dinner was reached, I had him happy again. It was easy to do -- in a country of ranks and castes. You see, in a country where they have ranks and castes, a man isn't ever a man, he is only part of a man, he can't ever get his full growth. You prove your superiority over him in station, or rank, or fortune, and that's the end of it -he knuckles1 down. You can't insult him after that. No, I don't mean quite that; of course you CAN insult him, I only mean it's difficult; and so, unless you've got a lot of useless time on your hands it doesn't pay to try. I had the smith's reverence2 now, because I was apparently3 immensely prosperous and rich; I could have had his adoration4 if I had had some little gimcrack title of nobility. And not only his, but any commoner's in the land, though he were the mightiest5 production of all the ages, in intellect, worth, and character, and I bankrupt in all three. This was to remain so, as long as England should exist in the earth. With the spirit of prophecy upon me, I could look into the future and see her erect6 statues and monuments to her unspeakable Georges and other royal and noble clothes-horses, and leave unhonored the creators of this world -- after God -- Gutenburg, Watt7, Arkwright, Whitney, Morse, Stephenson, Bell.
The king got his cargo8 aboard, and then, the talk not turning upon battle, conquest, or iron-clad duel9, he dulled down to drowsiness10 and went off to take a nap. Mrs. Marco cleared the table, placed the beer keg handy, and went away to eat her dinner of leavings in humble11 privacy, and the rest of us soon drifted into matters near and dear to the hearts of our sort -- business and wages, of course. At a first glance, things appeared to be exceeding prosperous in this little tributary12 kingdom -- whose lord was King Bagdemagus -- as compared with the state of things in my own region. They had the "protection" system in full force here, whereas we were working along down toward free-trade, by easy stages, and were now about half way. Before long, Dowley and I were doing all the talking, the others hungrily listening. Dowley warmed to his work, snuffed an advantage in the air, and began to put questions which he considered pretty awkward ones for me, and they did have something of that look:
"In your country, brother, what is the wage of a master bailiff, master hind13, carter, shepherd, swineherd?"
"Twenty-five milrays a day; that is to say, a quarter of a cent.
The smith's face beamed with joy. He said:
"With us they are allowed the double of it! And what may a mechanic get -- carpenter, dauber, mason, painter, blacksmith, wheelwright, and the like?"
"On the average, fifty milrays; half a cent a day."
"Ho-ho! With us they are allowed a hundred! With us any good mechanic is allowed a cent a day! I count out the tailor, but not the others -- they are all allowed a cent a day, and in driving times they get more -- yes, up to a hundred and ten and even fifteen milrays a day. I've paid a hundred and fifteen myself, within the week. 'Rah for protection -- to Sheol with free-trade!"
And his face shone upon the company like a sunburst. But I didn't scare at all. I rigged up my pile-driver, and allowed myself fifteen minutes to drive him into the earth -- drive him ALL in -- drive him in till not even the curve of his skull14 should show above ground. Here is the way I started in on him. I asked:
"What do you pay a pound for salt?"
"A hundred milrays."
"We pay forty. What do you pay for beef and mutton -- when you buy it?" That was a neat hit; it made the color come.
"It varieth somewhat, but not much; one may say 75 milrays the pound."
"WE pay 33. What do you pay for eggs?"
"Fifty milrays the dozen."
"We pay 20. What do you pay for beer?"
"It costeth us 8 1/2 milrays the pint15."
"We get it for 4; 25 bottles for a cent. What do you pay for wheat?"
"At the rate of 900 milrays the bushel."
"We pay 400. What do you pay for a man's towlinen suit?"
"Thirteen cents."
"We pay 6. What do you pay for a stuff gown for the wife of the laborer16 or the mechanic?"
"We pay 8.4.0."
"Well, observe the difference: you pay eight cents and four mills, we pay only four cents." I prepared now to sock it to him. l said: "Look here, dear friend, WHAT'S BECOME OF YOUR HIGH WAGES YOU WERE BRAGGING17 SO ABOUT A FEW MINUTES AGO?" -- and I looked around on the company with placid18 satisfaction, for I had slipped up on him gradually and tied him hand and foot, you see, without his ever noticing that he was being tied at all. "What's become of those noble high wages of yours? -- I seem to have knocked the stuffing all out of them, it appears to me."
But if you will believe me, he merely looked surprised, that is all! he didn't grasp the situation at all, didn't know he had walked into a trap, didn't discover that he was IN a trap. I could have shot him, from sheer vexation. With cloudy eye and a struggling intellect he fetched this out:
"Marry, I seem not to understand. It is PROVED that our wages be double thine; how then may it be that thou'st knocked therefrom the stuffing? -- an miscall not the wonderly word, this being the first time under grace and providence20 of God it hath been granted me to hear it."
Well, I was stunned21; partly with this unlooked-for stupidity on his part, and partly because his fellows so manifestly sided with him and were of his mind -- if you might call it mind. My position was simple enough, plain enough; how could it ever be simplified more? However, I must try:
"Why, look here, brother Dowley, don't you see? Your wages are merely higher than ours in NAME, not in FACT."
"Hear him! They are the DOUBLE -- ye have confessed it yourself."
"Yes-yes, I don't deny that at all. But that's got nothing to do with it; the AMOUNT of the wages in mere19 coins, with meaningless names attached to them to know them by, has got nothing to do with it. The thing is, how much can you BUY with your wages? -that's the idea. While it is true that with you a good mechanic is allowed about three dollars and a half a year, and with us only about a dollar and seventy-five --"
"There -- ye're confessing it again, ye're confessing it again!"
"Confound it, I've never denied it, I tell you! What I say is this. With us HALF a dollar buys more than a DOLLAR buys with you -- and THEREFORE it stands to reason and the commonest kind of common-sense, that our wages are HIGHER than yours."
He looked dazed, and said, despairingly:
"Verily, I cannot make it out. Ye've just said ours are the higher, and with the same breath ye take it back."
"Oh, great Scott, isn't it possible to get such a simple thing through your head? Now look here -let me illustrate22. We pay four cents for a woman's stuff gown, you pay 8.4.0, which is four mills more than DOUBLE. What do you allow a laboring23 woman who works on a farm?"
"Two mills a day."
"Very good; we allow but half as much; we pay her only a tenth of a cent a day; and --"
"Again ye're conf --"
"Wait! Now, you see, the thing is very simple; this time you'll understand it. For instance, it takes your woman 42 days to earn her gown, at 2 mills a day -- 7 weeks' work; but ours earns hers in forty days -- two days SHORT of 7 weeks. Your woman has a gown, and her whole seven weeks wages are gone; ours has a gown, and two days' wages left, to buy something else with. There -- NOW you understand it!"
He looked -- well, he merely looked dubious24, it's the most I can say; so did the others. I waited -- to let the thing work. Dowley spoke25 at last -- and betrayed the fact that he actually hadn't gotten away from his rooted and grounded superstitions26 yet. He said, with a trifle of hesitancy:
"But -- but -- ye cannot fail to grant that two mills a day is better than one."
Shucks! Well, of course, I hated to give it up. So I chanced another flyer:
"Let us suppose a case. Suppose one of your journeymen goes out and buys the following articles:
"1 pound of salt;
1 dozen eggs;
1 bushel of wheat;
1 tow-linen suit;
5 pounds of beef;
5 pounds of mutton.
"The lot will cost him 32 cents. It takes him 32 working days to earn the money -- 5 weeks and 2 days. Let him come to us and work 32 days at HALF the wages; he can buy all those things for a shade under 14 1/2 cents; they will cost him a shade under 29 days' work, and he will have about half a week's wages over. Carry it through the year; he would save nearly a week's wages every two months, YOUR man nothing; thus saving five or six weeks' wages in a year, your man not a cent. NOW I reckon you understand that 'high wages' and 'low wages' are phrases that don't mean anything in the world until you find out which of them will BUY the most!"
It was a crusher.
But, alas28! it didn't crush. No, I had to give it up. What those people valued was HIGH WAGES; it didn't seem to be a matter of any consequence to them whether the high wages would buy anything or not. They stood for "protection," and swore by it, which was reasonable enough, because interested parties had gulled29 them into the notion that it was protection which had created their high wages. I proved to them that in a quarter of a century their wages had advanced but 30 per cent., while the cost of living had gone up 100; and that with us, in a shorter time, wages had advanced 40 per cent. while the cost of living had gone steadily30 down. But it didn't do any good. Nothing could unseat their strange beliefs.
Well, I was smarting under a sense of defeat. Undeserved defeat, but what of that? That didn't soften31 the smart any. And to think of the circumstances! the first statesman of the age, the capablest man, the best-informed man in the entire world, the loftiest uncrowned head that had moved through the clouds of any political firmament32 for centuries, sitting here apparently defeated in argument by an ignorant country blacksmith! And I could see that those others were sorry for me -- which made me blush till I could smell my whiskers scorching33. Put yourself in my place; feel as mean as I did, as ashamed as I felt -- wouldn't YOU have struck below the belt to get even? Yes, you would; it is simply human nature. Well, that is what I did. I am not trying to justify34 it; I'm only saying that I was mad, and ANYBODY would have done it.
Well, when I make up my mind to hit a man, I don't plan out a love-tap; no, that isn't my way; as long as I'm going to hit him at all, I'm going to hit him a lifter. And I don't jump at him all of a sudden, and risk making a blundering half-way business of it; no, I get away off yonder to one side, and work up on him gradually, so that he never suspects that I'm going to hit him at all; and by and by, all in a flash, he's flat on his back, and he can't tell for the life of him how it all happened. That is the way I went for brother Dowley. I started to talking lazy and comfortable, as if I was just talking to pass the time; and the oldest man in the world couldn't have taken the bearings of my starting place and guessed where I was going to fetch up:
"Boys, there's a good many curious things about law, and custom, and usage, and all that sort of thing, when you come to look at it; yes, and about the drift and progress of human opinion and movement, too. There are written laws -- they perish; but there are also unwritten laws -- THEY are eternal. Take the unwritten law of wages: it says they've got to advance, little by little, straight through the centuries. And notice how it works. We know what wages are now, here and there and yonder; we strike an average, and say that's the wages of to-day. We know what the wages were a hundred years ago, and what they were two hundred years ago; that's as far back as we can get, but it suffices to give us the law of progress, the measure and rate of the periodical augmentation; and so, without a document to help us, we can come pretty close to determining what the wages were three and four and five hundred years ago. Good, so far. Do we stop there? No. We stop looking backward; we face around and apply the law to the future. My friends, I can tell you what people's wages are going to be at any date in the future you want to know, for hundreds and hundreds of years."
"What, goodman, what!"
"Yes. In seven hundred years wages will have risen to six times what they are now, here in your region, and farm hands will be allowed 3 cents a day, and mechanics 6."
"I would't I might die now and live then!" interrupted Smug, the wheelwright, with a fine avaricious35 glow in his eye.
"And that isn't all; they'll get their board besides -such as it is: it won't bloat them. Two hundred and fifty years later -- pay attention now -- a mechanic's wages will be -- mind you, this is law, not guesswork; a mechanic's wages will then be TWENTY cents a day!"
There was a general gasp36 of awed37 astonishment38, Dickon the mason murmured, with raised eyes and hands:
"More than three weeks' pay for one day's work!"
"Riches! -- of a truth, yes, riches!" muttered Marco, his breath coming quick and short, with excitement.
"Wages will keep on rising, little by little, little by little, as steadily as a tree grows, and at the end of three hundred and forty years more there'll be at least ONE country where the mechanic's average wage will be TWO HUNDRED cents a day!"
It knocked them absolutely dumb! Not a man of them could get his breath for upwards39 of two minutes. Then the coal-burner said prayerfully:
"Might I but live to see it!"
"It is the income of an earl!" said Smug.
"An earl, say ye?" said Dowley; "ye could say more than that and speak no lie; there's no earl in the realm of Bagdemagus that hath an income like to that. Income of an earl -- mf! it's the income of an angel!"
"Now, then, that is what is going to happen as regards wages. In that remote day, that man will earn, with ONE week's work, that bill of goods which it takes you upwards of FIFTY weeks to earn now. Some other pretty surprising things are going to happen, too. Brother Dowley, who is it that determines, every spring, what the particular wage of each kind of mechanic, laborer, and servant shall be for that year?"
"Sometimes the courts, sometimes the town council; but most of all, the magistrate40. Ye may say, in general terms, it is the magistrate that fixes the wages."
"Doesn't ask any of those poor devils to HELP him fix their wages for them, does he?"
"Hm! That WERE an idea! The master that's to pay him the money is the one that's rightly concerned in that matter, ye will notice "
"Yes -- but I thought the other man might have some little trifle at stake in it, too; and even his wife and children, poor creatures. The masters are these: nobles, rich men, the prosperous generally. These few, who do no work, determine what pay the vast hive shall have who DO work. You see? They're a 'combine' -- a trade union, to coin a new phrase -who band themselves together to force their lowly brother to take what they choose to give. Thirteen hundred years hence -- so says the unwritten law -- the 'combine' will be the other way, and then how these fine people's posterity41 will fume42 and fret43 and grit44 their teeth over the insolent45 tyranny of trade unions! Yes, indeed! the magistrate will tranquilly46 arrange the wages from now clear away down into the nineteenth century; and then all of a sudden the wage-earner will consider that a couple of thousand years or so is enough of this one-sided sort of thing; and he will rise up and take a hand in fixing his wages himself. Ah, he will have a long and bitter account of wrong and humiliation47 to settle."
"Do ye believe -- "
"That he actually will help to fix his own wages? Yes, indeed. And he will be strong and able, then."
"Brave times, brave times, of a truth!" sneered48 the prosperous smith.
"Oh, -- and there's another detail. In that day, a master may hire a man for only just one day, or one week, or one month at a time, if he wants to."
"What?"
"It's true. Moreover, a magistrate won't be able to force a man to work for a master a whole year on a stretch whether the man wants to or not."
"Will there be NO law or sense in that day?"
"Both of them, Dowley. In that day a man will be his own property, not the property of magistrate and master. And he can leave town whenever he wants to, if the wages don't suit him! -- and they can't put him in the pillory49 for it."
"Perdition catch such an age!" shouted Dowley, in strong indignation. "An age of dogs, an age barren of reverence for superiors and respect for authority! The pillory --"
"Oh, wait, brother; say no good word for that institution. I think the pillory ought to be abolished."
"A most strange idea. Why?"
"Well, I'll tell you why. Is a man ever put in the pillory for a capital crime?"
"No."
"Is it right to condemn50 a man to a slight punishment for a small offense51 and then kill him?"
There was no answer. I had scored my first point! For the first time, the smith wasn't up and ready. The company noticed it. Good effect.
"You don't answer, brother. You were about to glorify52 the pillory a while ago, and shed some pity on a future age that isn't going to use it. I think the pillory ought to be abolished. What usually happens when a poor fellow is put in the pillory for some little offense that didn't amount to anything in the world? The mob try to have some fun with him, don't they?"
"Yes."
"They begin by clodding him; and they laugh themselves to pieces to see him try to dodge53 one clod and get hit with another?"
"Yes."
"Then they throw dead cats at him, don't they?"
"Yes."
"Well, then, suppose he has a few personal enemies in that mob and here and there a man or a woman with a secret grudge54 against him -- and suppose especially that he is unpopular in the community, for his pride, or his prosperity, or one thing or another -stones and bricks take the place of clods and cats presently, don't they?"
"There is no doubt of it."
"As a rule he is crippled for life, isn't he? -- jaws55 broken, teeth smashed out? -- or legs mutilated, gangrened, presently cut off? -- or an eye knocked out, maybe both eyes?"
"It is true, God knoweth it."
"And if he is unpopular he can depend on DYING, right there in the stocks, can't he?"
"He surely can! One may not deny it."
"I take it none of YOU are unpopular -- by reason of pride or insolence56, or conspicuous57 prosperity, or any of those things that excite envy and malice58 among the base scum of a village? YOU wouldn't think it much of a risk to take a chance in the stocks?"
Dowley winced59, visibly. I judged he was hit. But he didn't betray it by any spoken word. As for the others, they spoke out plainly, and with strong feeling. They said they had seen enough of the stocks to know what a man's chance in them was, and they would never consent to enter them if they could compromise on a quick death by hanging.
"Well, to change the subject -- for I think I've established my point that the stocks ought to be abolished. I think some of our laws are pretty unfair. For instance, if I do a thing which ought to deliver me to the stocks, and you know I did it and yet keep still and don't report me, YOU will get the stocks if anybody informs on you."
"Ah, but that would serve you but right," said Dowley, "for you MUST inform. So saith the law."
The others coincided.
"Well, all right, let it go, since you vote me down. But there's one thing which certainly isn't fair. The magistrate fixes a mechanic's wage at 1 cent a day, for instance. The law says that if any master shall venture, even under utmost press of business, to pay anything OVER that cent a day, even for a single day, he shall be both fined and pilloried60 for it; and whoever knows he did it and doesn't inform, they also shall be fined and pilloried. Now it seems to me unfair, Dowley, and a deadly peril61 to all of us, that because you thoughtlessly confessed, a while ago, that within a week you have paid a cent and fifteen mil --"
Oh, I tell YOU it was a smasher! You ought to have seen them to go to pieces, the whole gang. I had just slipped up on poor smiling and complacent62 Dowley so nice and easy and softly, that he never suspected anything was going to happen till the blow came crashing down and knocked him all to rags.
A fine effect. In fact, as fine as any I ever produced, with so little time to work it up in.
But I saw in a moment that I had overdone63 the thing a little. I was expecting to scare them, but I wasn't expecting to scare them to death. They were mighty64 near it, though. You see they had been a whole lifetime learning to appreciate the pillory; and to have that thing staring them in the face, and every one of them distinctly at the mercy of me, a stranger, if I chose to go and report -- well, it was awful, and they couldn't seem to recover from the shock, they couldn't seem to pull themselves together. Pale, shaky, dumb, pitiful? Why, they weren't any better than so many dead men. It was very uncomfortable. Of course, I thought they would appeal to me to keep mum, and then we would shake hands, and take a drink all round, and laugh it off, and there an end. But no; you see I was an unknown person, among a cruelly oppressed and suspicious people, a people always accustomed to having advantage taken of their helplessness, and never expecting just or kind treatment from any but their own families and very closest intimates. Appeal to ME to be gentle, to be fair, to be generous? Of course, they wanted to, but they couldn't dare.
1 knuckles | |
n.(指人)指关节( knuckle的名词复数 );(指动物)膝关节,踝v.(指人)指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 );(指动物)膝关节,踝 | |
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2 reverence | |
n.敬畏,尊敬,尊严;Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称;v.尊敬,敬畏,崇敬 | |
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3 apparently | |
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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4 adoration | |
n.爱慕,崇拜 | |
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5 mightiest | |
adj.趾高气扬( mighty的最高级 );巨大的;强有力的;浩瀚的 | |
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6 erect | |
n./v.树立,建立,使竖立;adj.直立的,垂直的 | |
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7 watt | |
n.瓦,瓦特 | |
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8 cargo | |
n.(一只船或一架飞机运载的)货物 | |
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9 duel | |
n./v.决斗;(双方的)斗争 | |
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10 drowsiness | |
n.睡意;嗜睡 | |
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11 humble | |
adj.谦卑的,恭顺的;地位低下的;v.降低,贬低 | |
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12 tributary | |
n.支流;纳贡国;adj.附庸的;辅助的;支流的 | |
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13 hind | |
adj.后面的,后部的 | |
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14 skull | |
n.头骨;颅骨 | |
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15 pint | |
n.品脱 | |
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16 laborer | |
n.劳动者,劳工 | |
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17 bragging | |
v.自夸,吹嘘( brag的现在分词 );大话 | |
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18 placid | |
adj.安静的,平和的 | |
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19 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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20 providence | |
n.深谋远虑,天道,天意;远见;节约;上帝 | |
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21 stunned | |
adj. 震惊的,惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
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22 illustrate | |
v.举例说明,阐明;图解,加插图 | |
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23 laboring | |
n.劳动,操劳v.努力争取(for)( labor的现在分词 );苦干;详细分析;(指引擎)缓慢而困难地运转 | |
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24 dubious | |
adj.怀疑的,无把握的;有问题的,靠不住的 | |
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25 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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26 superstitions | |
迷信,迷信行为( superstition的名词复数 ) | |
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27 pints | |
n.品脱( pint的名词复数 );一品脱啤酒 | |
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28 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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29 gulled | |
v.欺骗某人( gull的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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30 steadily | |
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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31 soften | |
v.(使)变柔软;(使)变柔和 | |
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32 firmament | |
n.苍穹;最高层 | |
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33 scorching | |
adj. 灼热的 | |
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34 justify | |
vt.证明…正当(或有理),为…辩护 | |
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35 avaricious | |
adj.贪婪的,贪心的 | |
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36 gasp | |
n.喘息,气喘;v.喘息;气吁吁他说 | |
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37 awed | |
adj.充满敬畏的,表示敬畏的v.使敬畏,使惊惧( awe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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38 astonishment | |
n.惊奇,惊异 | |
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39 upwards | |
adv.向上,在更高处...以上 | |
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40 magistrate | |
n.地方行政官,地方法官,治安官 | |
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41 posterity | |
n.后裔,子孙,后代 | |
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42 fume | |
n.(usu pl.)(浓烈或难闻的)烟,气,汽 | |
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43 fret | |
v.(使)烦恼;(使)焦急;(使)腐蚀,(使)磨损 | |
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44 grit | |
n.沙粒,决心,勇气;v.下定决心,咬紧牙关 | |
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45 insolent | |
adj.傲慢的,无理的 | |
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46 tranquilly | |
adv. 宁静地 | |
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47 humiliation | |
n.羞辱 | |
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48 sneered | |
讥笑,冷笑( sneer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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49 pillory | |
n.嘲弄;v.使受公众嘲笑;将…示众 | |
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50 condemn | |
vt.谴责,指责;宣判(罪犯),判刑 | |
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51 offense | |
n.犯规,违法行为;冒犯,得罪 | |
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52 glorify | |
vt.颂扬,赞美,使增光,美化 | |
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53 dodge | |
v.闪开,躲开,避开;n.妙计,诡计 | |
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54 grudge | |
n.不满,怨恨,妒嫉;vt.勉强给,不情愿做 | |
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55 jaws | |
n.口部;嘴 | |
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56 insolence | |
n.傲慢;无礼;厚颜;傲慢的态度 | |
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57 conspicuous | |
adj.明眼的,惹人注目的;炫耀的,摆阔气的 | |
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58 malice | |
n.恶意,怨恨,蓄意;[律]预谋 | |
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59 winced | |
赶紧避开,畏缩( wince的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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60 pilloried | |
v.使受公众嘲笑( pillory的过去式和过去分词 );将…示众;给…上颈手枷;处…以枷刑 | |
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61 peril | |
n.(严重的)危险;危险的事物 | |
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62 complacent | |
adj.自满的;自鸣得意的 | |
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63 overdone | |
v.做得过分( overdo的过去分词 );太夸张;把…煮得太久;(工作等)过度 | |
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64 mighty | |
adj.强有力的;巨大的 | |
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