Mrs. Backfield's hope rekindled2, but the doctor soon damped it down. This sudden recrudescence of physical health was a bad sign, for there was no corresponding revival4 of intellect, and now the prostration5 of the body could no longer account for the aberration6 of the mind. It was unlikely that Harry would ever recover his wits—the injuries to his skull7, either with or without the shock of his blindness, had definitely affected8 his brain. The strong, clear will, the gay spirits, the quick understanding, the tender sensibilities which had made him so bright and lovable a being, were gone—how much of shreds10 and scraps11 they had left behind them to build up the semblance13 of a man, did not yet appear.
His looks would be only slightly marred14. It was the optic nerve which had been destroyed, and so far there was nothing ugly in the eyes themselves, except their vacant rolling. The eyelashes and eyebrows16 had been burnt off, but they were growing again, and a scar on his cheek and another on his forehead were not likely to show much in a few weeks' time. But all the life, the light, the soul had gone out of his face—it was like a house which had been gutted17, with walls and roof still standing9, yet with its essential quality gone from it, a ruin.
Reuben thought long and anxiously about his brother. He did not speak much of him to his mother or Naomi, for he knew that they would not understand the problem that confronted him. He felt worn by the extra load of work, and his brain fretted18, spoiling his good sleep. He[Pg 53] was back in his own room now, but he slept worse than in Harry's; he would lie awake fighting mentally, just as all day he had fought physically—life was a continuous fight.
It was hard that just at the outset of his enterprise, fresh obstacles should be thrown in his way. He saw that it was practically impossible for him to go on working as he did; already he was paying for it in stiff muscles, loss of appetite, fitful sleep, and drugged wakings. Also he was growing irritable19 and frayed20 as to temper. If he went on much longer doing the work of three men—he had always done the work of two—he would end by breaking up completely, and then what would become of Odiam? He would have to engage outside help, and that would mean quite ten shillings a week—ten shillings a week, two pounds a month, twenty-six pounds a year, the figures were like blisters21 in his head during the long restless nights. They throbbed22 and throbbed through his dreams. He would have to spend twenty-six pounds a year, just when he was saving so desperately23 to buy more land and fatten24 what he already had. And in addition he would have to pay for Harry's keep. Not only must he engage a man to do his work, but he would have to support in absolute idleness Harry himself. He was quite unfit for farm work, he would be nothing but an expense and an incubus25.
In those dark furious hours, Reuben would wish his brother had died. It was not as if life could be sweet to him. It was terrible to see him mouching and mumbling26 about the house, to hold even the brief converse27 with him which everyday life enforced. He had not as yet grown used to his blindness, indeed it would be difficult for him to do so without wits to stimulate28 and direct his other senses, and it was dreadful to see him tumbling over furniture, breaking things and crying afterwards, spilling food on his clothes and his[Pg 54] beard—for now that he could not shave himself, and others had no time to do it for him, he wore a large fair beard, which added to his uncouthness29.
Oh that his brother had died!
One day Reuben was so tired that he fell asleep over his supper. His mother cleared the table round him, glancing at him with fond, submissive eyes. Each day she had come to love him more, with an obedient love, almost instinctive30 and elemental, which she had never felt for the gentle husband or considerate son. This evening she laid her shawl over his shoulders, and went to her washing-up.
Suddenly a weird31 noise came from the parlour, a strange groaning32 and wailing33. Reuben woke up, and rubbed his eyes. What was that? It was horrible, it was uncanny—and for him it also had that terrifying unnaturalness34 which a sudden waking gives even to the most ordinary sounds.
Then gradually out of the horror beauty began to grow. The sound passed into an air, faltering35 at first, then flowing—"Dearest Ellen," on Harry's violin.
"I'm glad he's found something to amuse him, poor son," said Mrs. Backfield, coming in to see if Reuben had waked.
"He's not playing badly, is he, mother?"
"Not at all. They say as sometimes blind folk are unaccountable good at music."
Reuben did not answer; she knew by his attitude—chin in hand—that he was thinking.
That night he thought it out.
Munds of Starvecrow had had a brother who fiddled37 at fairs and weddings and earned, so Munds said, thirty pounds a year. He had also heard of others who made as good a thing of it. If Harry earned thirty pounds a year he would pay the wages of an extra farm-hand and also something towards his own keep. They must find out exactly how many of the old tunes38 he [Pg 55]remembered, and get somebody musical to teach him new ones.
The idea prospered40 in Reuben's thoughts that night. The next morning he was full of it, and confided41 it to his mother and Naomi.
Naomi, a little paler and more wistful than of old, still spent an occasional day or two at Odiam. At first she had made these visits for Harry's sake, flattering herself that he was the better for her presence; then when even her faith began to fail, she still came, partly to help Mrs. Backfield, partly driven by such feelings as might drive an uneasy ghost to haunt the house of his tragedy. Reuben saw little of her, for his work claimed him, but he liked to feel she was there, helping42 his mother with work which it was difficult for her to carry through alone to Odiam's best advantage.
She heard of Reuben's plan with some shrinking.
"He—he wouldn't like it," she stammered43 after a pause.
"You'll never go sending our Harry to fiddle36 at fairs," said Mrs. Backfield.
"Why not? There's naun shameful44 in it. Munds's brother did it for twenty years. And think of the difference it'll m?ake to us—thirty pound or so a year, instead of the dead loss of Harry's keep and the wages of an extra man beside. I tell you, mother, I wur fair sick about the farm till I thought of this."
"It's always the farm wud you, Reuben. You might sometimes think of your own kin3."
"I tell you Harry w?an't mind—he'll like it. It'll be something to occupy him. Besides, hem12 it all, mother! you can't expect me to kip him idling here, wud the farm scarce started yet, and nearly the whole of Boarzell still to buy."
But it was useless to expect either Mrs. Backfield or Naomi to appreciate the momentousness45 of his task. Were women always, he wondered, without ambition?[Pg 56] However, though they did not sympathise, they would not oppose him—Naomi because she was not skilful46 at opposition47, his mother because he was gradually taking the place of Harry in her heart.
He had more trouble when a day or so later he asked Naomi to inspect Harry's musical equipment.
"You see, I d?an't know one tune39 from another, so I can't do it myself. You might git him to play one or two things over to you, Naomi, and find out what he remembers."
"I'd rather not," said Naomi, shuddering48.
"Why?"
"Oh—I just can't."
"But why?"
She could not tell him. If he did not understand how every note from Harry's violin would jab and tear the tortured memories she was trying to put to sleep—if he did not understand that of himself, she would never be able to explain it to him.
As a matter of fact he did understand, but he was resolute49.
"Help me, Naomi," he pleaded, "fur I can't manage wudout you."
His eyes searched her face. People who met him only casually50 were generally left with the impression that he had black eyes, but as a matter of fact they were dark blue. A hidden power forced Naomi's eyes to meet them ... they were narrow and deep-set, with extraordinarily51 long lashes15. She gazed into them for a moment without speaking. Then suddenly her own filled with an expression of hatred52, and she ran out of the room.
But he had won his point. That evening Naomi made Harry play over his "tunes," while Reuben sat in the chimney corner watching them both. Harry's memory was erratic—he would play through some well-known airs quite correctly up to a certain point, and then[Pg 57] interpolate hysterical53 variations of his own. At other times memory failed him altogether, but his natural quickness of ear seemed to have increased since his blindness, and it only needed Naomi to sing the passage over for him to fill up the gaps.
She took him through "The Woodpecker Tapping," "Dearest Ellen," "I'd mourn the hopes that leave me," "The Song of Seth's House," and "The Blue Bells of Scotland." Each one of them was torment54 to her gentle heart, as it woke memory after memory of courtship—on the gorse-slopes of Boarzell, among the chasing shadows of Iden Wood, on the Rother marshes55 by Thornsdale, where the river slinks up from the Fivewatering ... or in this very kitchen here, where the three of them, divided from one another by dizzy gaps of suffering, desire and darkness, were gathered together in a horrible false association.
But Harry's face was blank, no memories seemed to stir for him, he just fiddled on, now and then receiving Naomi's corrections with an outbreak of childish temper. On these occasions Reuben would stamp his foot and speak to him in a loud, angry voice which inevitably56 made him behave himself.
Naomi always took advantage of these returns to docility57, but later that evening in the dairy, she suddenly swung round on Mrs. Backfield and exclaimed petulently:
"I hate that Ben of yours!"
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收听单词发音
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1
harry
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| vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼 | |
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rekindled
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| v.使再燃( rekindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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kin
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| n.家族，亲属，血缘关系；adj.亲属关系的，同类的 | |
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revival
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| n.复兴，复苏，（精力、活力等的）重振 | |
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prostration
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| n. 平伏, 跪倒, 疲劳 | |
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aberration
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| n.离开正路，脱离常规，色差 | |
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skull
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| n.头骨；颅骨 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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shreds
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| v.撕碎，切碎( shred的第三人称单数 )；用撕毁机撕毁（文件） | |
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scraps
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| 油渣 | |
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hem
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| n.贴边，镶边；vt.缝贴边；(in)包围，限制 | |
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semblance
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| n.外貌，外表 | |
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marred
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| adj. 被损毁, 污损的 | |
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lashes
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| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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gutted
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| adj.容易消化的v.毁坏（建筑物等）的内部( gut的过去式和过去分词 )；取出…的内脏 | |
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fretted
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| 焦躁的，附有弦马的，腐蚀的 | |
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irritable
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| adj.急躁的；过敏的；易怒的 | |
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frayed
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| adj.磨损的v.（使布、绳等）磨损，磨破( fray的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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blisters
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| n.水疱( blister的名词复数 )；水肿；气泡 | |
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throbbed
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| 抽痛( throb的过去式和过去分词 )； （心脏、脉搏等）跳动 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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fatten
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| v.使肥，变肥 | |
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incubus
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| n.负担；恶梦 | |
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mumbling
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| 含糊地说某事，叽咕，咕哝( mumble的现在分词 ) | |
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converse
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| vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反 | |
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stimulate
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| vt.刺激，使兴奋；激励，使…振奋 | |
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uncouthness
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instinctive
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| adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的 | |
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weird
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| adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的 | |
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groaning
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| adj. 呜咽的, 呻吟的 动词groan的现在分词形式 | |
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wailing
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| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的现在分词 )；沱 | |
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unnaturalness
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faltering
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| 犹豫的，支吾的，蹒跚的 | |
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fiddle
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| n.小提琴；vi.拉提琴；不停拨弄，乱动 | |
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fiddled
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| v.伪造( fiddle的过去式和过去分词 )；篡改；骗取；修理或稍作改动 | |
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38
tunes
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| n.曲调，曲子( tune的名词复数 )v.调音( tune的第三人称单数 )；调整；（给收音机、电视等）调谐；使协调 | |
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39
tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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prospered
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| 成功，兴旺( prosper的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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shameful
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| adj.可耻的，不道德的 | |
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45
momentousness
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| n.重大，重要性 | |
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skilful
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| (=skillful)adj.灵巧的，熟练的 | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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extraordinarily
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| adv.格外地；极端地 | |
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52
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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53
hysterical
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| adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的 | |
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54
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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55
marshes
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| n.沼泽，湿地( marsh的名词复数 ) | |
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56
inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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docility
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| n.容易教，易驾驶，驯服 | |
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