Chapter 28 Beth

She could barely see through the windshield, but this time it had less to do with the rain than her inability to concentrate. After Keith had left, she kept blinking in confusion as she stated at the file, trying to make sense of the things her ex had told her. Logan had Drake's photograph… Logan had become obsessed¹ with her… Logan had decided² to seek her out… Logan had hunted her down. She found it hard to breathe, and it had been all she could do to go to the office and tell the principal that she had to go home. The principal had taken one look at her face and agreed, offering to cover her class the rest of the afternoon. Nana would pick up Ben after school, Beth informed him. On the drive home, her mind flashed from one image to the next a kaleidoscope of sight and sound and smell. She tried to convince herself that Keith was lying, grasping for a way to rationalize his news. It was possible, especially considering the way he'd lied in the past, and yet… Keith had been serious. More professional than personal, and J told her something she could easily check. He knew she u d ask Logan about it… he wanted her to ask Logan… which meant.. She squeezed the wheel, possessed³ by a feverish⁴ need to talk to Logan. He would clear this up. He had to be able to clear this up. Water from the river now stretched across the road, but in her preoccupied⁵ state, she didn't realize it until she plowed⁶ into the water. She jerked forward as the car almost came to a stop. The river flowed around her, and she thought the water would stall the engine, but the car continued to roll forward into ever deeper water, before finally emerging in a shallower patch. By the time Beth reached the house, she wasn't even sure what to feel, other than confused. One instant she felt angry and betrayed and manipulated; in the next, she was able to convince herself that it couldn't be true, that Keith had lied to her again. As she came up the drive, she found herself scanning the rain swept grounds for Logan. Up ahead, through low-hanging mist, she could see lights on in the house. She considered going in to talk to Nana, longing⁷ for Nana's clarity and common sense to straighten everything out. But when she saw the lights on in the office and noted⁸ the propped-open door, she felt something catch in her throat. She turned the wheel in the direction of the office, telling herself that Logan didn't have the picture, that the whole thing had been a mistake. She bounced through muddy puddles⁹, the rain coming so hard now that the wipers couldn't keep up. On the office porch, she saw Zeus lying near the door, his head raised. She pulled to a stop out front and ran for the porch, rain stinging her face. Zeus approached her, nosing at her hand. She ignored him as she walked inside, expecting to find Logan at the desk. He wasn't there. The door that led from the office to the kennel¹⁰ stood open. She steeled herself, pausing in the middle of the office, as shadows moved in the darkened corridor. She waited as Logan emerged into the light. "Hey, Elizabeth," he said. "I didn't expect to see you …" He trailed off. "What happened?" Staring at him, she felt her emotions threaten to boil over. Her mouth suddenly felt papery dry, and she didn't know how to start or what to say. Logan said nothing, sensing her volatile¹¹ state. She closed her eyes, feeling on the verge¹² of tears, then drew a careful breath. "Why did you come to Hampton?" she finally asked. "I want the truth this time." He didn't move. "I told you the truth," he said. "Did you tell me everything?" He hesitated for a fraction of a second before answering. "I've never lied to you," he said, his voice quiet. "That's not what I asked!" she snapped. "I asked if you've been hiding anything!" He appraised¹³ her carefully. "Where's this coming from?" "That doesn't matter!" This time, she heard the anger in her tone. "I just want to know why you came to Hampton!" "I told you—" "Do you have a picture of me?" Logan said nothing. "Answer the question!" She took a step toward him, biting out the words. "Do you have a picture of me?" She wasn't sure how she expected him to react, but other than a soft exhale¹⁴, he didn't flinch¹⁵. "Yes," he said. "The one I gave Drake?" "Yes," he said again. With his answer, she felt her whole world begin to topple like a row of dominoes. All at once, everything made sense—the way he'd stared at her when they first met, the reason he was willing to work for such a low wage, why he'd befriended Nana and Ben, and all his talk about destiny… He had the photo. He'd come to Hampton to find her. He'd tracked her down like prey¹⁶. All at once, it was difficult to breathe. "Oh, my God." "It's not what you think——" He stretched his hand toward her, and she absently watched it draw closer before she finally realized what was happening. With a start, she reeled back, desperate to put more space between them. All of it had been a lie… "Don't touch me!" "Elizabeth…" "My name is Beth!" She stared at him as if he were a stranger until he lowered his arm. His voice was a whisper when he tried again. "I can explain—-" "Explain what?" she demanded. "That you stole the picture from my brother? That you walked across the country to find me? That you fell in love with an image…" "It wasn't like that," he said, shaking his head. She didn't hear him. All she could do was stare at him, wondering if anything he'd said was true. "You stalked me …" she said, almost as if talking to herself. "You lied to me. You used me." "You don't understand…" "Understand? You want me to understand" "I didn't steal the photo," he said. His voice remained steady and even. "I found the photo in Kuwait, and I posted it on a bulletin board where I thought it would be claimed. But no one ever claimed it." "And so… you took it back?" She shook her head in disbelief. "Why? Because you had some sick and twisted idea about me?" "No," he said, his voice rising for the first time. The sound startled her, slowing her thoughts, if only for an instant. "I came here because I owed you." "You owed me?" She blinked. "What does that even mean?" "The photo… it saved me." Though she heard him plainly, she couldn't comprehend the words. She waited for more, and in the steady silence that followed, she realized she found them… chilling somehow. The hairs on her arms prickled, and she took another step back. "Who are you?" she hissed¹⁷. "What do you want from me?" "I don't want anything. And you know who I am." "No, I don't! I don't know anything about you!" "Let me explain …" "Then explain why if this was all so pure and true that you didn't tell me about the photograph when you first came here!" she shouted, her voice echoing in the room. In her mind's eye, she saw Drake and all the details of the night the photo was taken. She pointed¹⁸ a finger at him. "Why didn't you say, 'I found this in Iraq and I figured you might want it back'? Why didn't you tell me when we were talking about Drake ?" "I don't know…" "It wasn't your photo to keep! Don't you get that? It wasn't meant for you! It was for my brother, not for you! It was his and you had no right to keep it from me!" Logan's voice was almost a whisper. "I didn't mean to hurt you." Her eyes bored into him, piercing him with the force of her rage. "This whole thing is a sham¹⁹, isn't it? You found this photo and came up with some… twisted fantasy in which you could play the starring role. You played me from the moment we met! You took your time to find out what you could do to make it seem like you were the perfect guy for me. And you thought that because you were obsessed with me, you could trick me into falling in love with you." She saw Logan flinch at her words, and she went on. "You planned all this from the very beginning! It's sick and it's wrong and I can't believe I fell for it." He rocked back slightly on his heels, stunned²⁰ by her words. "I admit that I wanted to meet you," he said, "but you're wrong about the reason. I didn't come here to trick you into falling in love with me. I know it sounds crazy, but I came to believe that the photograph kept me safe from harm and that… I owed you somehow, even if I didn't know what that meant or what would come of it. But I didn't plan anything after I got here. I took the job, and then I fell in love with you." Her expression didn't soften²¹ as he spoke²². Instead, she slowly began to shake her head. "Can you even hear what you're saying?" "I knew you wouldn't believe it. That's why I didn't tell you—" "Don't try to justify²³ your lies! You got caught up in some sick fantasy and you won't even admit it." "Stop calling it that!" he shouted back. "You're the one who's not listening. You're not even trying to understand what I'm saying!" "Why should I try to understand? You've been lying to me since the beginning. You've been using me since the beginning." "I haven't used you," he said, forcing his back straight, regaining²⁴ his composure. "And I didn't lie about the photo. I just didn't tell you about it because I didn't know how to tell you in a way that wouldn't make you think I was crazy." She raised her hands. "Don't even think of blaming this on me. You're the one who lied! You're the one who kept secrets! I told you everything! I gave my heart to you! I let my son become attached to you!" she shouted. As she went on, her voice broke and she could feel the tears beginning to form. "I went to bed with you because I thought you were someone I could trust. But now I know that I can't. Can you imagine how that makes me feel? To know this whole thing was some sort of charade²⁵?" His voice was soft. "Please, Elizabeth … Beth .;. just listen." "I don't want to listen! I've already been lied to enough." "Don't be like this." "You want me to listen?" she screamed. "Listen to what? That you obsessed over a picture and came to find me because you believe it kept you safe? That's insane, and the most disturbing thing is, you don't even recognize that your explanation only makes you sound psychotic!" He stared at her, and she saw his jaw²⁶ clench²⁷ shut. She felt a shudder²⁸ run through her. She was done with this. Done with him. "I want it back," she gritted²⁹ out. "I want the photo that I gave to Drake." When he didn't respond, she reached over to the window ledge³⁰ and grabbed a small flower pot. She threw it at him, shouting, "Where is it? I want it!" Logan ducked as the pot whizzed overhead and crashed into the wall behind him. For the first time, Zeus barked in confusion. "It's not yours!" she shouted. Logan stood straight again. "I don't have it." "Where is it?" she demanded Logan paused before answering. "I gave it to Ben," he admitted. Her eyes narrowed. "Get out." Logan paused before finally moving toward the door. Beth stepped away, keeping her distance from him. Zeus swiveled his gaze from Logan to Beth and back again before padding slowly after Logan. At the door, Logan stopped and turned toward her. "I swear on my life I didn't come here to fall in love with you, or try to make you fall in love with me. But I did." She stared at him. "I told you to go and I meant it." With that, he turned and strode out into the storm.

1 obsessed   

adj.心神不宁的,鬼迷心窍的,沉迷的

参考例句：

• He's obsessed by computers. 他迷上了电脑。
• The fear of death obsessed him throughout his old life. 他晚年一直受着死亡恐惧的困扰。

2 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

3 possessed   

adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的

参考例句：

• He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
• He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。

4 feverish   

adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的

参考例句：

• He is too feverish to rest.他兴奋得安静不下来。
• They worked with feverish haste to finish the job.为了完成此事他们以狂热的速度工作着。

5 preoccupied   

adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式)

参考例句：

• He was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice anything wrong. 他只顾想着心事，没注意到有什么不对。
• The question of going to the Mount Tai preoccupied his mind. 去游泰山的问题盘踞在他心头。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 plowed   

v.耕( plow的过去式和过去分词 )；犁耕；费力穿过

参考例句：

• They plowed nearly 100,000 acres of virgin moorland. 他们犁了将近10万英亩未开垦的高沼地。 来自辞典例句
• He plowed the land and then sowed the seeds. 他先翻土，然后播种。 来自辞典例句

7 longing   

n.（for）渴望

参考例句：

• Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
• His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。

8 noted   

adj.著名的，知名的

参考例句：

• The local hotel is noted for its good table.当地的那家酒店以餐食精美而著称。
• Jim is noted for arriving late for work.吉姆上班迟到出了名。

9 puddles   

n.水坑， （尤指道路上的）雨水坑( puddle的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The puddles had coalesced into a small stream. 地面上水洼子里的水汇流成了一条小溪。
• The road was filled with puddles from the rain. 雨后路面到处是一坑坑的积水。 来自《简明英汉词典》

10 kennel   

n.狗舍，狗窝

参考例句：

• Sporting dogs should be kept out of doors in a kennel.猎狗应该养在户外的狗窝中。
• Rescued dogs are housed in a standard kennel block.获救的狗被装在一个标准的犬舍里。

11 volatile   

adj.反复无常的，挥发性的，稍纵即逝的，脾气火爆的；n.挥发性物质

参考例句：

• With the markets being so volatile,investments are at great risk.由于市场那么变化不定，投资冒着很大的风险。
• His character was weak and volatile.他这个人意志薄弱，喜怒无常。

12 verge   

n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临

参考例句：

• The country's economy is on the verge of collapse.国家的经济已到了崩溃的边缘。
• She was on the verge of bursting into tears.她快要哭出来了。

13 appraised   

v.估价( appraise的过去式和过去分词 )；估计；估量；评价

参考例句：

• The teacher appraised the pupil's drawing. 老师评价了那个学生的画。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He appraised the necklace at ￡1000. 据他估计，项链价值1000英镑。 来自《简明英汉词典》

14 exhale   

v.呼气，散出，吐出，蒸发

参考例句：

• Sweet odours exhale from flowers.花儿散发出花香。
• Wade exhaled a cloud of smoke and coughed.韦德吐出一口烟，然后咳嗽起来。

15 flinch   

v.畏缩，退缩

参考例句：

• She won't flinch from speaking her mind.她不会讳言自己的想法。
• We will never flinch from difficulties.我们面对困难决不退缩。

16 prey   

n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨

参考例句：

• Stronger animals prey on weaker ones.弱肉强食。
• The lion was hunting for its prey.狮子在寻找猎物。

17 hissed   

发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 )； 发嘘声表示反对

参考例句：

• Have you ever been hissed at in the middle of a speech? 你在演讲中有没有被嘘过？
• The iron hissed as it pressed the wet cloth. 熨斗压在湿布上时发出了嘶嘶声。

18 pointed   

adj.尖的，直截了当的

参考例句：

• He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
• She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。

19 sham   

n./adj.假冒(的)，虚伪(的)

参考例句：

• They cunningly played the game of sham peace.他们狡滑地玩弄假和平的把戏。
• His love was a mere sham.他的爱情是虚假的。

20 stunned   

adj. 震惊的，惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• The fall stunned me for a moment. 那一下摔得我昏迷了片刻。
• The leaders of the Kopper Company were then stunned speechless. 科伯公司的领导们当时被惊得目瞪口呆。

21 soften   

v.(使)变柔软；(使)变柔和

参考例句：

• Plastics will soften when exposed to heat.塑料适当加热就可以软化。
• This special cream will help to soften up our skin.这种特殊的护肤霜有助于使皮肤变得柔软。

22 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

23 justify   

vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护

参考例句：

• He tried to justify his absence with lame excuses.他想用站不住脚的借口为自己的缺席辩解。
• Can you justify your rude behavior to me?你能向我证明你的粗野行为是有道理的吗？

24 regaining   

复得( regain的现在分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地

参考例句：

• She was regaining consciousness now, but the fear was coming with her. 现在她正在恢发她的知觉，但是恐怖也就伴随着来了。
• She said briefly, regaining her will with a click. 她干脆地答道，又马上重新振作起精神来。

25 charade   

n.用动作等表演文字意义的字谜游戏

参考例句：

• You must not refine too much upon this charade.你切不可过分推敲这个字谜。
• His poems,despite their dignity and felicity,have an air of charade.他的诗篇虽然庄严巧妙，却有猜迷之嫌。

26 jaw   

n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训

参考例句：

• He delivered a right hook to his opponent's jaw.他给了对方下巴一记右钩拳。
• A strong square jaw is a sign of firm character.强健的方下巴是刚毅性格的标志。

27 clench   

vt.捏紧（拳头等），咬紧（牙齿等），紧紧握住

参考例句：

• I clenched the arms of my chair.我死死抓住椅子扶手。
• Slowly,he released his breath through clenched teeth.他从紧咬的牙缝间慢慢地舒了口气。

28 shudder   

v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动

参考例句：

• The sight of the coffin sent a shudder through him.看到那副棺材，他浑身一阵战栗。
• We all shudder at the thought of the dreadful dirty place.我们一想到那可怕的肮脏地方就浑身战惊。

29 gritted   

v.以沙砾覆盖（某物），撒沙砾于( grit的过去式和过去分词 )；咬紧牙关

参考例句：

• He gritted his teeth and plunged into the cold weather. 他咬咬牙，冲向寒冷的天气。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• The young policeman gritted his teeth and walked slowly towards the armed criminal. 年轻警官强忍住怒火，朝武装歹徒慢慢走过去。 来自《简明英汉词典》

30 ledge   

n.壁架，架状突出物；岩架，岩礁

参考例句：

• They paid out the line to lower him to the ledge.他们放出绳子使他降到那块岩石的突出部分。
• Suddenly he struck his toe on a rocky ledge and fell.突然他的脚趾绊在一块突出的岩石上，摔倒了。