Chapter 31 Clayton

Clayton tried and failed to negotiate the lake that had formed in front of Beth's house, his boots disappearing into the mud. He stifled¹ the urge to issue a string of profanities. He could see the windows open near the front door, and he knew that Nana would hear him. Despite her age, the woman had the hearing of an owl², and the last thing he wanted to do was make a poor impression. The woman already disliked him enough. He climbed the steps and knocked on the door. He thought he heard someone moving inside, saw Beth's face in the window, and finally watched as the door swung open. "Keith? What are you doing here?" "I was worried," he said. "I wanted to make sure everything was okay." "It's fine," she said. "Is he still here? Do you want me to talk to him?" "No. He's gone. I don't know where he is." Clayton shuffled³ his feet, trying to look contrite⁴, i'm sorry about this, and I hate that I had to be the one to tell you. I know you really liked him." Beth nodded, her lips pursed… "I also wanted to tell you not to be so hard on yourself. Like I mentioned earlier, people like that… they've learned to hide it. They're sociopaths, and there's no way you could have known." Beth crossed her arms. "I don't want to talk about it." Clayton held up his hands, knowing he'd pushed too hard, knowing he had to backtrack. "I figured. And you're right. It's not my place, especially given the crappy way I've treated you in the past." He tucked his thumb into his belt and forced a smile. "I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay." "I'm fine. And thanks." Clayton turned to leave, then stopped. "I want you to know that from what Ben said, Thibault seemed like a nice guy." She looked up in surprise. "I just wanted to tell you that, because had it been different— had anything happened to Ben— Thibault would have regretted the day he was born. I would die before I let anything happen to our son. And I know you feel the same way. That's why you're such a great mom. In a life where I've made a ton of mistakes, one of the best things I've done is to let you raise him." She nodded, trying to stop the tears, and turned away. When she swiped at her eyes, Clayton took a step toward her. "Hey," he said, his voice soft. "I know you don't want to hear this now, but trust me, you did the right thing. And in time, you're going to find someone, and I'm sure he's going to be the best guy ever. You deserve that." Her breath hiccuped⁵, and Clayton reached out for her. Instinctively⁶, she leaned into him. "It's okay," he whispered, and for a long moment, they stood on the porch, their bodies close together as he held her. Clayton didn't stay long. There was no need, he thought: He'd accomplished⁷ what he'd set out to do. Beth now saw him as the kind, caring, and compassionate⁸ friend, someone who'd atoned⁹ for his sins. The hug was just the icing on the cake—nothing he'd planned, but a nice conclusion to their encounter. He wouldn't press her. That would be a mistake. She needed some time to get over Thigh-bolt. Even if he was a sociopath, even if the guy left town, feelings aren't turned on and off like a switch. But they would pass as surely as the rain would continue to fell. Next step: to make sure that Thigh-bolt was on his way back to Colorado. And then? Be the nice guy. Maybe invite Beth over while he and Ben were doing something, ask her to stay for a barbecue. Keep it casual at first, so she didn't suspect anything, and then suggest doing something with Ben on another night of the week. It was essential that he keep the whole thing far from Nana's prying¹⁰ eyes, which meant staying away from here. Though he knew Beth wouldn't be thinking straight for at least a few weeks, Nana would be, and the last thing he wanted was for Nana to get in Beth's ear about what he was likely up to. After that, as they got used to each other again, maybe they'd have a few beers together while Ben was sacked out, sort of a spur-of-the-moment thing. Maybe spike¹¹ her beer with a bit of vodka so she couldn't drive home. Then offer to let her sleep in the bed while he took the couch. Be the perfect gentleman, but keep the beer flowing. Talk about the old times—the good ones— and let her cry about Thigh-bolt. Let the emotions flow and slip a comforting arm around her. He smiled as he started the car, pretty sure he knew what would happen after that.

1 stifled   

（使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵

参考例句：

• The gas stifled them. 煤气使他们窒息。
• The rebellion was stifled. 叛乱被镇压了。

2 owl   

n.猫头鹰，枭

参考例句：

• Her new glasses make her look like an owl.她的新眼镜让她看上去像只猫头鹰。
• I'm a night owl and seldom go to bed until after midnight.我睡得很晚，经常半夜后才睡觉。

3 shuffled   

v.洗（纸牌）( shuffle的过去式和过去分词 )；拖着脚步走；粗心地做；摆脱尘世的烦恼

参考例句：

• He shuffled across the room to the window. 他拖着脚走到房间那头的窗户跟前。
• Simon shuffled awkwardly towards them. 西蒙笨拙地拖着脚朝他们走去。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 contrite   

adj.悔悟了的，后悔的，痛悔的

参考例句：

• She was contrite the morning after her angry outburst.她发了一顿脾气之后一早上追悔莫及。
• She assumed a contrite expression.她装出一副后悔的表情。

5 hiccuped   

v.嗝( hiccup的过去式和过去分词 )；连续地打嗝；暂时性的小问题；短暂的停顿

参考例句：

• Even when companies have run into trouble, the debt markets have just hiccuped and soldiered on. 即使当这些公司遇到麻烦，债市只是打个隔然后继续运转。 来自互联网

6 instinctively   

adv.本能地

参考例句：

• As he leaned towards her she instinctively recoiled. 他向她靠近，她本能地往后缩。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He knew instinctively where he would find her. 他本能地知道在哪儿能找到她。 来自《简明英汉词典》

7 accomplished   

adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的

参考例句：

• Thanks to your help,we accomplished the task ahead of schedule.亏得你们帮忙,我们才提前完成了任务。
• Removal of excess heat is accomplished by means of a radiator.通过散热器完成多余热量的排出。

8 compassionate   

adj.有同情心的，表示同情的

参考例句：

• She is a compassionate person.她是一个有同情心的人。
• The compassionate judge gave the young offender a light sentence.慈悲的法官从轻判处了那个年轻罪犯。

9 atoned   

v.补偿，赎（罪）( atone的过去式和过去分词 )；补偿，弥补，赎回

参考例句：

• He atoned for his sin with life. 他以生命赎罪。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• She had atoned for everything by the sacrifice she had made of her life. 她用牺牲生命来抵偿了一切。 来自辞典例句

10 prying   

adj.爱打听的v.打听，刺探（他人的私事）( pry的现在分词 )；撬开

参考例句：

• I'm sick of you prying into my personal life! 我讨厌你刺探我的私生活！
• She is always prying into other people's affairs. 她总是打听别人的私事。 来自《简明英汉词典》

11 spike   

n.长钉，钉鞋；v.以大钉钉牢，使...失效

参考例句：

• The spike pierced the receipts and held them in order.那个钉子穿过那些收据并使之按顺序排列。
• They'll do anything to spike the guns of the opposition.他们会使出各种手段来挫败对手。