I've just a moment, because I must attend two classes, pack a trunk
and a suit-case, and catch the four-o'clock train--but I couldn't
go without sending a word to let you know how much I appreciate
my Christmas box.
I love the furs and the necklace and the Liberty scarf and the gloves
and handkerchiefs and books and purse--and most of all I love you!
But Daddy, you have no business to spoil me this way. I'm only human--
and a girl at that. How can I keep my mind sternly fixed1 on a
studious career, when you deflect2 me with such worldly frivolities?
I have strong suspicions now as to which one of the John Grier
Trustees used to give the Christmas tree and the Sunday ice-cream.
He was nameless, but by his works I know him! You deserve to be
happy for all the good things you do.
Goodbye, and a very merry Christmas.
Yours always,
Judy
PS. I am sending a slight token, too. Do you think you would
like her if you knew her?
11th January
I meant to write to you from the city, Daddy, but New York
is an engrossing3 place.
I had an interesting--and illuminating--time, but I'm glad I don't
belong to such a family! I should truly rather have the John Grier
Home for a background. Whatever the drawbacks of my bringing up,
there was at least no pretence4 about it. I know now what people
mean when they say they are weighed down by Things. The material
atmosphere of that house was crushing; I didn't draw a deep breath
until I was on an express train coming back. All the furniture
was carved and upholstered and gorgeous; the people I met were
beautifully dressed and low-voiced and well-bred, but it's the truth,
Daddy, I never heard one word of real talk from the time we arrived
until we left. I don't think an idea ever entered the front door.
Mrs. Pendleton never thinks of anything but jewels and dressmakers
and social engagements. She did seem a different kind of mother from
Mrs. McBride! If I ever marry and have a family, I'm going to make them
as exactly like the McBrides as I can. Not for all the money in the
world would I ever let any children of mine develop into Pendletons.
Maybe it isn't polite to criticize people you've been visiting?
If it isn't, please excuse. This is very confidential5, between you
and me.
I only saw Master Jervie once when he called at tea time,
and then I didn't have a chance to speak to him alone.
It was really disappointing after our nice time last summer.
I don't think he cares much for his relatives--and I am sure they
don't care much for him! Julia's mother says he's unbalanced.
He's a Socialist6--except, thank Heaven, he doesn't let his hair grow
and wear red ties. She can't imagine where he picked up his queer ideas;
the family have been Church of England for generations. He throws
away his money on every sort of crazy reform, instead of spending it
on such sensible things as yachts and automobiles7 and polo ponies8.
He does buy candy with it though! He sent Julia and me each a box
for Christmas.
You know, I think I'll be a Socialist, too. You wouldn't mind,
would you, Daddy? They're quite different from Anarchists9;
they don't believe in blowing people up. Probably I am one by rights;
I belong to the proletariat. I haven't determined10 yet just which
kind I am going to be. I will look into the subject over Sunday,
and declare my principles in my next.
I've seen loads of theatres and hotels and beautiful houses.
My mind is a confused jumble11 of onyx and gilding12 and mosaic13 floors
and palms. I'm still pretty breathless but I am glad to get back
to college and my books--I believe that I really am a student;
this atmosphere of academic calm I find more bracing14 than New York.
College is a very satisfying sort of life; the books and study
and regular classes keep you alive mentally, and then when your
mind gets tired, you have the gymnasium and outdoor athletics15,
and always plenty of congenial friends who are thinking about the
same things you are. We spend a whole evening in nothing but talk--
talk--talk--and go to bed with a very uplifted feeling, as though we
had settled permanently16 some pressing world problems. And filling
in every crevice17, there is always such a lot of nonsense--just silly
jokes about the little things that come up but very satisfying.
We do appreciate our own witticisms18!
It isn't the great big pleasures that count the most; it's making
a great deal out of the little ones--I've discovered the true
secret of happiness, Daddy, and that is to live in the now.
Not to be for ever regretting the past, or anticipating the future;
but to get the most that you can out of this very instant.
It's like farming. You can have extensive farming and intensive
farming; well, I am going to have intensive living after this.
I'm going to enjoy every second, and I'm going to KNOW I'm enjoying
it while I'm enjoying it. Most people don't live; they just race.
They are trying to reach some goal far away on the horizon, and in the
heat of the going they get so breathless and panting that they lose
all sight of the beautiful, tranquil19 country they are passing through;
and then the first thing they know, they are old and worn out,
and it doesn't make any difference whether they've reached the goal
or not. I've decided20 to sit down by the way and pile up a lot
of little happinesses, even if I never become a Great Author.
Did you ever know such a philosopheress as I am developing into?
Yours ever,
Judy
PS. It's raining cats and dogs tonight. Two puppies and a kitten
have just landed on the window-sill.
Dear Comrade,
Hooray! I'm a Fabian.
That's a Socialist who's willing to wait. We don't want the social
revolution to come tomorrow morning; it would be too upsetting.
We want it to come very gradually in the distant future, when we
shall all be prepared and able to sustain the shock.
In the meantime, we must be getting ready, by instituting industrial,
educational and orphan21 asylum22 reforms.
Yours, with fraternal love,
Judy
Monday, 3rd hour
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1
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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2
deflect
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| v.(使)偏斜，(使)偏离，(使)转向 | |
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3
engrossing
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| adj.使人全神贯注的，引人入胜的v.使全神贯注( engross的现在分词 ) | |
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4
pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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5
confidential
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| adj.秘（机）密的，表示信任的，担任机密工作的 | |
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6
socialist
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| n.社会主义者；adj.社会主义的 | |
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7
automobiles
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| n.汽车( automobile的名词复数 ) | |
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8
ponies
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| 矮种马，小型马( pony的名词复数 )； ￡25 25 英镑 | |
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9
anarchists
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| 无政府主义者( anarchist的名词复数 ) | |
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10
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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11
jumble
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| vt.使混乱，混杂；n.混乱；杂乱的一堆 | |
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12
gilding
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| n.贴金箔，镀金 | |
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13
mosaic
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| n./adj.镶嵌细工的，镶嵌工艺品的，嵌花式的 | |
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14
bracing
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| adj.令人振奋的 | |
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15
athletics
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| n.运动，体育，田径运动 | |
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16
permanently
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| adv.永恒地，永久地，固定不变地 | |
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17
crevice
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| n.(岩石、墙等)裂缝；缺口 | |
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18
witticisms
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| n.妙语，俏皮话( witticism的名词复数 ) | |
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19
tranquil
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| adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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20
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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21
orphan
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| n.孤儿；adj.无父母的 | |
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22
asylum
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| n.避难所，庇护所，避难 | |
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