LOCK WILLOW, 3rd October

Dear Daddy-Long-Legs,

Your note written in your own hand--and a pretty wobbly hand!--
came this morning. I am so sorry that you have been ill; I wouldn't
have bothered you with my affairs if I had known. Yes, I will tell you
the trouble, but it's sort of complicated to write, and VERY PRIVATE.
Please don't keep this letter, but burn it.

Before I begin--here's a cheque for one thousand dollars.
It seems funny, doesn't it, for me to be sending a cheque to you?
Where do you think I got it?

I've sold my story, Daddy. It's going to be published serially¹
in seven parts, and then in a book! You might think I'd be wild
with joy, but I'm not. I'm entirely² apathetic³. Of course I'm glad
to begin paying you--I owe you over two thousand more. It's coming
in instalments. Now don't be horrid⁴, please, about taking it,
because it makes me happy to return it. I owe you a great deal
more than the mere⁵ money, and the rest I will continue to pay all
my life in gratitude⁶ and affection.

And now, Daddy, about the other thing; please give me your most
worldly advice, whether you think I'll like it or not.

You know that I've always had a very special feeling towards you;
you sort of represented my whole family; but you won't mind, will you,
if I tell you that I have a very much more special feeling for
another man? You can probably guess without much trouble who he is.
I suspect that my letters have been very full of Master Jervie for a
very long time.

I wish I could make you understand what he is like and how entirely
companionable we are. We think the same about everything--
I am afraid I have a tendency to make over my ideas to match his!
But he is almost always right; he ought to be, you know,
for he has fourteen years' start of me. In other ways, though,
he's just an overgrown boy, and he does need looking after--
he hasn't any sense about wearing rubbers when it rains. He and I
always think the same things are funny, and that is such a lot;
it's dreadful when two people's senses of humour are antagonistic⁷.
I don't believe there's any bridging that gulf⁸!

And he is--Oh, well! He is just himself, and I miss him, and miss him,
and miss him. The whole world seems empty and aching. I hate the
moonlight because it's beautiful and he isn't here to see it with me.
But maybe you've loved somebody, too, and you know? If you have,
I don't need to explain; if you haven't, I can't explain.

Anyway, that's the way I feel--and I've refused to marry him.

I didn't tell him why; I was just dumb and miserable⁹. I couldn't
think of anything to say. And now he has gone away imagining
that I want to marry Jimmie McBride--I don't in the least,
I wouldn't think of marrying Jimmie; he isn't grown up enough.
But Master Jervie and I got into a dreadful muddle¹⁰ of misunderstanding
and we both hurt each other's feelings. The reason I sent him
away was not because I didn't care for him, but because I cared
for him so much. I was afraid he would regret it in the future--
and I couldn't stand that! It didn't seem right for a person
of my lack of antecedents to marry into any such family as his.
I never told him about the orphan¹¹ asylum¹², and I hated to explain
that I didn't know who I was. I may be DREADFUL, you know.
And his family are proud--and I'm proud, too!

Also, I felt sort of bound to you. After having been educated
to be a writer, I must at least try to be one; it would scarcely
be fair to accept your education and then go off and not use it.
But now that I am going to be able to pay back the money, I feel
that I have partially¹³ discharged that debt--besides, I suppose I could
keep on being a writer even if I did marry. The two professions
are not necessarily exclusive.

I've been thinking very hard about it. Of course he is a Socialist¹⁴,
and he has unconventional ideas; maybe he wouldn't mind marrying into
the proletariat so much as some men might. Perhaps when two people are
exactly in accord, and always happy when together and lonely when apart,
they ought not to let anything in the world stand between them.
Of course I WANT to believe that! But I'd like to get your
unemotional opinion. You probably belong to a Family also, and will
look at it from a worldly point of view and not just a sympathetic,
human point of view--so you see how brave I am to lay it before you.

Suppose I go to him and explain that the trouble isn't Jimmie,
but is the John Grier Home--would that be a dreadful thing for me
to do? It would take a great deal of courage. I'd almost rather
be miserable for the rest of my life.

This happened nearly two months ago; I haven't heard a word from him
since he was here. I was just getting sort of acclimated¹⁵ to the
feeling of a broken heart, when a letter came from Julia that stirred
me all up again. She said--very casually--that `Uncle Jervis'
had been caught out all night in a storm when he was hunting in Canada,
and had been ill ever since with pneumonia¹⁶. And I never knew it.
I was feeling hurt because he had just disappeared into blankness
without a word. I think he's pretty unhappy, and I know I am!

What seems to you the right thing for me to do?
Judy

1 serially   

adv.连续地，连续刊载地

参考例句：

• A method of device interconnection for determining interruptpriority by connecting the interrupt sources serially. 设备互连的一种方式，通过与中断源串连的顺序确定设备的中断优先级。 来自辞典例句
• BATCH PROCESSING:Execution of programs serially with no interactive processing. 批处理：程序执行是连续的，无交互式处理。 来自互联网

2 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

3 apathetic   

adj.冷漠的，无动于衷的

参考例句：

• I realised I was becoming increasingly depressed and apathetic.我意识到自己越来越消沉、越来越冷漠了。
• You won't succeed if you are apathetic.要是你冷淡，你就不能成功。

4 horrid   

adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的

参考例句：

• I'm not going to the horrid dinner party.我不打算去参加这次讨厌的宴会。
• The medicine is horrid and she couldn't get it down.这种药很难吃，她咽不下去。

5 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

6 gratitude   

adj.感激，感谢

参考例句：

• I have expressed the depth of my gratitude to him.我向他表示了深切的谢意。
• She could not help her tears of gratitude rolling down her face.她感激的泪珠禁不住沿着面颊流了下来。

7 antagonistic   

adj.敌对的

参考例句：

• He is always antagonistic towards new ideas.他对新思想总是持反对态度。
• They merely stirred in a nervous and wholly antagonistic way.他们只是神经质地，带着完全敌对情绪地骚动了一下。

8 gulf   

n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂

参考例句：

• The gulf between the two leaders cannot be bridged.两位领导人之间的鸿沟难以跨越。
• There is a gulf between the two cities.这两座城市间有个海湾。

9 miserable   

adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的

参考例句：

• It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他，这是可耻的。
• Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。

10 muddle   

n.困惑，混浊状态；vt.使混乱，使糊涂，使惊呆；vi.胡乱应付，混乱

参考例句：

• Everything in the room was in a muddle.房间里每一件东西都是乱七八糟的。
• Don't work in a rush and get into a muddle.克服忙乱现象。

11 orphan   

n.孤儿；adj.无父母的

参考例句：

• He brought up the orphan and passed onto him his knowledge of medicine.他把一个孤儿养大，并且把自己的医术传给了他。
• The orphan had been reared in a convent by some good sisters.这个孤儿在一所修道院里被几个好心的修女带大。

12 asylum   

n.避难所，庇护所，避难

参考例句：

• The people ask for political asylum.人们请求政治避难。
• Having sought asylum in the West for many years,they were eventually granted it.他们最终获得了在西方寻求多年的避难权。

13 partially   

adv.部分地，从某些方面讲

参考例句：

• The door was partially concealed by the drapes.门有一部分被门帘遮住了。
• The police managed to restore calm and the curfew was partially lifted.警方设法恢复了平静，宵禁部分解除。

14 socialist   

n.社会主义者；adj.社会主义的

参考例句：

• China is a socialist country,and a developing country as well.中国是一个社会主义国家，也是一个发展中国家。
• His father was an ardent socialist.他父亲是一个热情的社会主义者。

15 acclimated   

v.使适应新环境，使服水土服水土，适应( acclimate的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The rice has been acclimated in this area. 水稻已能适应这一地区的环境。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Have you become acclimated to Taiwan yet? 你已适应台湾的环境了吗？ 来自辞典例句

16 pneumonia   

n.肺炎

参考例句：

• Cage was struck with pneumonia in her youth.凯奇年轻时得过肺炎。
• Pneumonia carried him off last week.肺炎上星期夺去了他的生命。