And then the training was finished. The new Alberts went on a daily work-schedule, supervised only by the spy-sets and an occasional, deliberately3 random4 visit from a master. The visits were necessary, too: the Alberts had not the sophistication to react to a spy-set, and personal supervision5 was needed to convince them they were still being watched, they still had to work. A master came, a master saw them working: that, they could understand.
That—and the punishments. These went under the name of discipline, and had three grades. The Belbis beams administered all three, by means of a slight readjustment in the ray. It was angled as widely as possible, and the dispersed6 beam, carefully controlled, acted directly on the nervous system.
Cadnan, troubled by Marvor's threats and by his own continuing thoughts of Dara, was a trifle absent-minded and a little slower than standard. He drew punishment twice, both times in the first grade only. Albin administered both punishments, explaining to his partner Derbis that he didn't mind doing it—and, besides, someone had to.
Sometimes Dodd thought of Albin giving out discipline, and of all of his life on Fruyling's World, in terms of a sign he had once seen. It had been a joke, he remembered that clearly, but it was no more a joke now than the words which flashed nearly ignored at the back of his mind. Once or twice he had imagined this new sign hanging luridly7 over the entire planet, posted there in the name of profit, in the name of necessity, in the name of economic law.
Everything not compulsory8 is forbidden
The Alberts had to be trained. The Alberts had to be disciplined. The men had to work with them. The men were forbidden to leave the planet.
And who were the slaves?
That, Dodd told himself cloudily, was far from an easy decision.
Everything not compulsory was forbidden. Even the parties were forbidden ... though it was always possible to find one. Dodd had avoided them completely, afraid now of another breakdown9, this time in public. He had not seen Greta or called her (though he had her number now): he had stayed alone as much as possible.
He had no idea what had happened to him: and that added to his fright and to his fear of a recurrence10.
But Albin, he knew, was having his fun, and so were others. The older men, it seemed, devoted11 themselves to running the place, to raising their families and giving good advice, to keeping production up and costs down.
The younger men had fun.
Dodd had thought of marriage. (Now, it was no more than a memory, a hope he might once have had. Now, the end had come: there was no marriage. There was no life. Only the idea of hope remained.) He had never had the vestige12 of a real female image in his mind. Sometimes he had told himself to be more out-going, to meet more women—but, then, how did a man meet women?
He had fun.
And Dodd had never enjoyed that particular brand of fun—Albin's brand.
There was a Social, an acceptable party that would get him into no trouble, in Building One. Dodd felt like lying down and letting the day drain out of him into the comforting mattress13 there in his room. He felt like relaxing in his own company—and that, he saw suddenly, was going to mean drinking.
He could see the future unroll before him. He could see the first drink, and the tenth. Because drink was an escape, and he needed some escape from the world he was pledged to uphold, the world of slavery.
He could not afford to drink again.
So, naturally, he was getting ready to go to the Social. Albin would be there, undoubtedly14, some of the older men would be there—and a scattering15 of women would be there, too. (He remembered himself thinking, long ago before such a party: Tonight might be the night.) He shaved very carefully, faithful to memory, dressed in the best he could find in his closet, and went out, heading for the elevator.
Tonight might be the night—but it made no difference, not any longer.
The trip to Sub-basement took a few whooshing16 seconds. He stepped out into a lighted, oil-smelling underground corridor, took a deep breath and headed off through gleaming passages toward another elevator at the far end. Before he reached it he took a turning, and then another: after a magnificently confusing trip through an unmarked labyrinth17, he found the elevator that led him up into the right section of Building One. That was no special feat18, of course: people had been doing the like ever since the first housing-project days, on pre-Confederation Earth. Dodd never gave it a second thought: his mind was busy.
The phrase had floated to the forefront of his brain again, right behind his eyes, lighting19 up with a regularity20 that was almost soothing21, almost reassuring22.
This is the end.
This is the end.
This is the end.
When the elevator door slid open he was grim-faced, withdrawn23, and he stepped out like a threat into a cheerful, brightly dressed crowd of people.
"Here he is!" someone shouted. "I told you he'd be here ... I told you...." Dodd turned but the words weren't meant for him. Down the corridor a knot of men and women was surrounding a new arrival from somewhere else, laughing and talking. As he stepped forward, his eyes still on that celebration, a pathway opened up for him; he was in sober black and he went through the corridor like a pencil-mark down paper, leaving an open trail as he passed.
A girl stopped him before he reached the door of the party room. She stepped directly into his path and he saw her, and his expression began to change, a little at a time, so that his eyes were, for long seconds, happier than his face, and he looked like a young bull-terrier having a birthday party.
"Am I in your way?" the girl said, without budging24 an inch. She was dressed in a bright green material that seemed to fade so near the glowing happiness of her face. Her hair was brown, a quite ordinary brown, and even in that first second Dodd noticed her hands. They were long and slim, the thumbs pointed25 outward, and they were clasped at her breast in a pose that should have been mocking, but was only pleasant.
He couldn't think of anything to say. Finally he settled on: "My name's Dodd," as the simplest and quickest way of breaking the ice that surrounded him.
"Very well, then, Mr. Dodd," the girl said—she wouldn't go along with polite forms—"am I in your way? Because if I am, I'm terribly sorry."
"You're not in my way at all," Dodd said heavily. "I just—didn't notice you." And that was a lie, but there was nothing else to say. The thousands of words that arranged themselves so neatly26 into patterns when he was alone had sunk to the very bottom of his suddenly leaden mind, almost burying the flashing sign. He felt as if he were growing extra fingers and ears.
"I noticed you," the girl said. "And I said to myself, I said: 'What can a person as grim as all that be doing at a Social as gay as all this?' So I stopped you to see if I could find out."
Dodd licked his lips. "I don't know," he said. "I thought maybe I'd meet somebody. I just thought I'd like to come."
"Well," the girl said, "you've met somebody. And now what?"
Dodd found some words, not many but enough. "I haven't met you yet," he said in what he hoped was a bright tone. "What's your name?"
The girl smiled, and Dodd saw for the first time that she hadn't been smiling before. Her face, in repose27, was light enough and to spare; when she smiled, he wanted smoked glasses. "Very well," she said. "My name is Fredericks. Norma Fredericks. And yours is—"
"Dodd," he said. "John Dodd. They call me Johnny."
"All right, John," she said. "You haven't been to many Socials, have you? Because I'd have seen you—I'm at every one I can find time for. You'd be surprised how many that is. Or maybe you wouldn't."
There was no answer to the last half of that, so Dodd backtracked, feeling a shocking relief that she hadn't been to the party at which he and the other girl (whose name he could very suddenly no longer remember) had made fools of themselves. He gave her an answer to the first half of her question. "I haven't been to many Socials, no," he said. "I—" He shrugged28 and felt mountainous next to her. "I stay by myself, mostly," he said.
"And now you want to meet people," Norma said. "All right, Johnny Dodd—you're going to meet people!" She took him by the arm and half-led, half-dragged him to the door of the party room. Inside, the noise was like a blast of heat, and Dodd stepped involuntarily back. "Now, that's no way to be," Norma said cheerfully, and piloted him somehow inside, past a screaming crew of men and women with disposable glasses in their hands, past an oblivious29 couple, two couples, four, seven—past mountains and masses of color and noise and drink and singing horribly off-key, not bothersome at all, loud and raucous30 and somehow, Dodd thought wildly, entirely31 fitting. This was Norma's element, he told himself, and allowed her to escort him to a far corner of the room, where she sat him down in a chair, said: "Don't go away, don't move," and disappeared.
Dodd sat stock-still while the noise washed over him. People drifted by but nobody so much as looked in his direction, and he saw neither Albin nor that other forgettable girl, for all of which he was profoundly grateful. He hadn't been to a Social since his last mistake, and before that it had been—almost two years, he realized with wonder. He'd forgotten just how much of everything it could be. He devoted a couple of minutes to catching32 his breath, and then he just watched people, drifting, standing33, forming new combinations every second. He thought (once) he saw Albin in the middle of a crowd near the door, but he told himself he was probably mistaken. There was no one else he recognized. He didn't grow tired, but sitting and watching, he found, was exhilarating enough.
In another minute, he was sure Norma wasn't going to come back. Probably she had found someone else, he told himself in what he thought was a reasonable manner. After all, he wasn't a very exciting person: she had probably started off to get him a drink or something, with the best of intentions, and met someone more interesting on the way.
He had just decided34 that, after all, he couldn't really blame her, when she appeared at his side.
"The punch," she announced, "is authentic35. It is totally authentic. One glass and you forget everything. Two, and you remember. Three—I don't know what happens with the third glass yet. But I'm going to find out."
He looked at her hands. She was holding two disposable glasses, full of purple liquid. He took one from her and got up. "Well," he said, "cheers."
"Also down the hatch," she said. "And any other last year's slang you happen to have around and want to get rid of." She lifted the glass. "Here's to you, John Dodd," she said, and tipped the glass at her lips—just that. He had never before seen anyone drink in just that way, or drink so quickly. In seconds, before he had taken a sip36 (he was so amazed, watching her), the glass was empty. "Whoosh," she said clearly. "That ought to hold me for at least six minutes."
Then she noticed that he hadn't started his own drink yet, so he took a cautious sip. It tasted like grape juice, like wine, like—he couldn't identify the ingredients, and besides he was watching her face. He took another sip.
"That's the way," Norma approved. "Soon you'll be drinking with the big boys."
And whether she was making fun of him or not hardly mattered. He felt careless: maybe the drink had done it. "Why did you pick me?" he heard himself say. "Why did you stop me, out of all those people?"
She hesitated, and when she spoke37 it sounded like the truth, perhaps too much like the truth to be true. "You looked like a puppy," she said seriously. "Like a puppy trying to act fierce. Maybe I've always had a weakness for dumb animals: no offense38 meant, John Dodd."
The idea of being offended hadn't occurred to him, but he tried it out experimentally and discovered he didn't like it. Before he could say anything, though, Norma had become energetic again.
"Enough analysis," she said abruptly39, so strongly that he wasn't sure what she meant by the words. "Sit down—sit down." He felt for the chair behind him and sat. Norma cast a keen eye over the nearby crowds, spotted40 an empty chair and went off for it. "Later," she told him, when she had placed herself next to him, "we can join the crowd. For now, let's get—let's get better acquainted. Johnny."
"That's the first time you've called me Johnny," he said.
"So it is," she said. Her face was a mask: and then it lightened. "What do you work at, Johnny?"
"I'm in Building Three," he said: it was easier to answer her than anatomize the confusions he felt. "I work with smelting41 and quality control—you know." He took another sip of his drink, and found to his surprise that it was more than half gone.
"With the Alberts," she said. "I know."
He thought he read her look correctly. "I don't like it either," he told her earnestly. "But somebody has to do it. I think—"
"You don't have to get defensive," Norma said. "Relax. Enjoy yourself. Join the party. Did I look at you as if you were a murderer of small children?"
"I just—don't like it," he said carefully. "I—well, there isn't anything I can do about it, is there?"
"I wouldn't know," she said, and then (had she made a decision? He couldn't tell) she went on: "I'm in Psych, myself."
"Psych? You?"
"Psych, me," she said. "So I'm every bit as responsible as you are. And maybe the reason there's nothing to do is—is because it's already been done."
"Already been done?" Dodd swallowed the rest of his drink in one gulp42 and leaned toward her. Norma looked down at her own empty glass.
"There are rumors43," she said. "Frankly44, I'd rather they didn't get around. And if I hadn't had too much to drink—or something—I wouldn't even be mentioning them. I'm sorry."
"No," he said, surprising himself. "Tell me. What rumors?"
Norma kept her eyes on her glass. "Nothing," she said, in a new, strained voice.
Dodd remained in the same position, feeling more tense than he could ever remember having felt. "Tell me," he said. "Come on. If you've gone this far—"
"I suppose I have," she said. "I suppose I've gone too far now, haven't I?"
"You've got to tell me."
"Yes," she said. "It's—they say the Confederation knows. I mean knows what we're doing here. Officially. Everything." She dropped the glass then and Dodd stooped ridiculously to pick it up: it lay between their chairs. He felt the blood rushing to his head. There was pounding in his temples. He got the glass and gave it to her but she took it absently, as if she hardly noticed him. "Of course, it's just a rumor," she said in a low voice.
"The people know," Dodd said. "It's out. It's all out. About the slavery. Is that what you mean?"
She nodded. "I'm sorry."
"But it's important—" he began, and stopped. He looked at his glass, still empty. He took a breath, began again. "I work with them. I'm part of it. It's important to me."
"Just as important to me," Norma said. "Believe me, Johnny. I'm responsible, too."
"But you're in Psych," he said. "That's—morale45. Nothing more than morale, as far as I know—"
She raised her head and looked him full in the face, her eyes like a bright challenge. Her face was quite sober when she spoke. "I'm in Psych, but it's more than morale, Johnny. We're—always thinking up new ways to keep the little Alberts in their place. Put it that way. Though nobody's really come up with an improvement on the original notion."
"The original notion?"
Now her smile gave light and no heat, a freak of nature. "The original specific," she said. She paused for a second and the mockery in her voice grew more broad. "That old-time religion," she said, drawing the words out like fine, hot wire. "That old-time religion, Johnny Dodd."
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1
obdurate
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| adj.固执的，顽固的 | |
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machinery
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| n.(总称)机械，机器；机构 | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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random
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| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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5
supervision
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| n.监督，管理 | |
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dispersed
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| adj. 被驱散的, 被分散的, 散布的 | |
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luridly
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| adv. 青灰色的(苍白的, 深浓色的, 火焰等火红的) | |
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8
compulsory
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| n.强制的，必修的；规定的，义务的 | |
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breakdown
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| n.垮，衰竭；损坏，故障，倒塌 | |
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recurrence
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| n.复发，反复，重现 | |
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11
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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12
vestige
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| n.痕迹，遗迹，残余 | |
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mattress
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| n.床垫，床褥 | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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15
scattering
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| n.[物]散射；散乱，分散；在媒介质中的散播adj.散乱的；分散在不同范围的；广泛扩散的；（选票）数量分散的v.散射(scatter的ing形式)；散布；驱散 | |
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16
whooshing
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| v.（使）飞快移动( whoosh的现在分词 ) | |
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labyrinth
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| n.迷宫；难解的事物；迷路 | |
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feat
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| n.功绩；武艺，技艺；adj.灵巧的，漂亮的，合适的 | |
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lighting
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| n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光 | |
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regularity
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| n.规律性，规则性；匀称，整齐 | |
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soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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reassuring
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| a.使人消除恐惧和疑虑的，使人放心的 | |
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withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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budging
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| v.（使）稍微移动( budge的现在分词 )；（使）改变主意，（使）让步 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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neatly
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| adv.整洁地，干净地，灵巧地，熟练地 | |
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27
repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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28
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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oblivious
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| adj.易忘的，遗忘的，忘却的，健忘的 | |
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raucous
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| adj.(声音)沙哑的，粗糙的 | |
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31
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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32
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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authentic
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| a.真的，真正的；可靠的，可信的，有根据的 | |
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36
sip
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| v.小口地喝，抿，呷；n.一小口的量 | |
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37
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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38
offense
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| n.犯规，违法行为；冒犯，得罪 | |
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39
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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spotted
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| adj.有斑点的，斑纹的，弄污了的 | |
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41
smelting
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| n.熔炼v.熔炼，提炼（矿石）( smelt的现在分词 ) | |
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42
gulp
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| vt.吞咽，大口地吸（气）；vi.哽住；n.吞咽 | |
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43
rumors
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| n.传闻( rumor的名词复数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷v.传闻( rumor的第三人称单数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷 | |
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44
frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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45
morale
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| n.道德准则，士气，斗志 | |
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