O sad and solemn is the trembling watch
Of those who sit and count the heavy hours,
Beside the fevered sleep of one they love!
O awful is it in the hushed mid-night,
While gazing on the pallid1, moveless form,
To start and ask, "Is it now sleep--or death?" ANONYMOUS2.
Mary could not be patient in her loneliness; painful thought weighed on her mind; the very house haunted with memories and foreshadowings.
Having performed all duties to Jem, as f weak powers, yet loving heart could act; ant veil being drawn4 over her father's past, present, and future life, beyond which she could not penetrate5 to judge of any filial service she ought to render; her mind unconsciously sought after some course in which she might engage. Any thing, any thing, a rather than leisure for reflection.
And then came up the old feeling which first bound Ruth to Naomi; the love they both held towards one object; and Mary felt that her cares would be most lightened by being of use, or of comfort to his mother. So she once more locked up the house, and set off towards Ancoats; rushing along with down-cast head, for fear lest any one should recognise her and arrest her progress.
Jane Wilson sat quietly in her chair as Mary entered; so quietly, as to strike one by the contrast it presented to her usual bustling6, and nervous manner.
She looked very pale and wan7; but the quietness was the thing that struck Mary most. She did not rise as Mary came in, but sat still and said something in so gentle, so feeble a voice, that Mary did not catch it.
Mrs Davenport, who was there, plucked Mary by the gown, and whispered, "Never heed8 her; she's worn out, and best let alone. I'll tell you all about it, up-stairs."
But Mary, touched by the anxious look with which Mrs Wilson gazed at her, as if waiting the answer to some question, went forward to listen to the speech she was again repeating.
"What is this? will you tell me?"
Then Mary looked, and saw another ominous9 slip of parchment in the mother's hand, which she was rolling up and down in a tremulous manner between her fingers.
Mary's heart sickened within her; and she could not speak.
"What is it?" she repeated. "Will you tell me? She still looked at Mary, with the same child-like gaze of wonder and patient entreaty10.
What could she answer?
"I telled ye not to heed her," said Mrs Davenport, a little angrily. "She knows well enough what it is,--too well, belike. I was not in when they sarved it; but Mrs Heming (her as lives next door) was, and she spelled out the meaning, and made it all clear to Mrs Wilson. It's a summons to be a witness on Jem's trial--Mrs Heming thinks, to swear to the gun; for yo see, there's nobbut her as can testify to its being his, and she let on so easily to the policeman that it was his, that there's no getting off her word now. Poor body; she takes it very hard, I dare say!"
Mrs Wilson had waited patiently while this whispered speech was being uttered, imagining, perhaps, that it would end in some explanation addressed to her. But when both were silent, though their eyes, without speech or language, told their heart's pity, she spoke11 again in the same unaltered gentle voice (so different from the irritable12 impatience13 she had been ever apt to show to every one except her husband--he who had wedded14 her, broken down, and injured)--in a voice so different, I say, from the old, hasty manner, she spoke now the same anxious words.
"What is this? Will you tell me?"
"Yo'd better give it me at once, Mrs Wilson, and let me put it out of your sight. Speak to her, Mary, wench, and ask for a sight on it; I've tried and better-tried to get it from her, and she takes no heed of words, and I'm loath15 to pull it by force out of her hands."
Mary drew the little "cricket" out from under the dresser, and sat down at Mrs Wilson's knee, and, coaxing16 one of her tremulous ever moving hands into hers, began to rub it soothingly17; there was a little resistance--a very little, but that was all; and presently, in the nervous movement of the imprisoned19 hand, the parchment fell to the ground.
Mary calmly and openly picked it up, without any attempt at concealment20, and quietly placing it in sight of the anxious eyes that followed it with a kind of spell-bound dread21, went on with her soothing18 caresses22.
"She has had no sleep for many nights," said the girl to Mrs Davenport, "and all this woe23 and sorrow,--it's no wonder."
"No, indeed!" Mrs Davenport answered.
"We must get her fairly to bed; we must get her undressed, and all; and trust to God in His mercy, to send her to sleep, or else,--"
For, you see, they spoke before her as if she were not there; her heart was so far away.
Accordingly they almost lifted her from the chair, in which she sat motionless, and taking her up as gently as a mother carries her sleeping baby, they undressed her poor, worn form, and laid her in the little bed up-stairs. They had once thought of placing her in Jem's bed, to be out of sight or sound of any disturbance24 of Alice's; but then again they remembered the shock she might receive in awakening25 in so unusual a place, and also that Mary, who intended to keep vigil that night in the house of mourning, would find it difficult to divide her attention in the possible cases that might ensue.
So they laid her, as I said before, on that little pallet-bed; and, as they were slowly withdrawing from the bed-side, hoping and praying that she might sleep, and forget for a time her heavy burden, she looked wistfully after Mary, and whispered,
"You haven't told me what it is? What is it?"
And gazing in her face for the expected answer, her eye-lids slowly closed, and she fell into a deep, heavy sleep, almost as profound a rest as death.
Mrs Davenport went her way, and Mary was alone,--for I cannot call those who sleep allies against the agony of thought which solitude27 sometimes brings up.
She dreaded28 the night before her. Alice might die; the doctor had that day declared her case hopeless, and not far from death, and at times, the terror sonatural to the young, not of death, but of the remains29 of the dead, came over Mary; and she bent30 and listened anxiously for the long-drawn, pausing breath of the sleeping Alice.
Or Mrs Wilson might awake in a state which Mary dreaded to anticipate, and anticipated while she dreaded;--in a state of complete delirium31. Already her senses had been severely32 stunned33 by the full explanation of what was required of her,--of what she had to prove against her son, her Jem, her only child,--which Mary could not doubt the officious Mrs Heming had given; and what if in dreams (that land into which no sympathy nor love can penetrate with another, either to share its bliss34 or its agony,--that land whose scenes are unspeakable terrors, are hidden mysteries, are priceless treasures to one alone,--that land where alone I may see, while yet I tarry here, the sweet looks of my dear child),-what if; in the horrors of her dreams, her brain should go still more astray, and she should waken crazy with her visions, and the terrible reality that begot35 them?
How much worse is anticipation36 sometimes than reality! How Mary dreaded that night, and how calmly it passed by! Even more so than if Mary had not had such claims upon her care!
Anxiety about them deadened her own peculiar37 anxieties. She thought of the sleepers38 whom she was watching, till overpowered herself by the want of rest, she fell off into short slumbers41 in which the night wore imperceptibly away. To be sure, Alice spoke, and sang during her waking moments, like the child she deemed herself; but so happily with the dearly-loved ones around her, with the scent42 of the heather, and the song of the wild bird hovering43 about her in imagination--with old scraps44 of ballads45, or old snatches of primitive46 versions of the Psalms47 (such as are sung in country churches half draperied over with ivy48, and where the running brook49, or the murmuring wind among the trees makes fit accompaniment to the chorus of human voices uttering praise and thanks-giving to their God)--that the speech and the song gave comfort and good cheer to the listener's heart, and the gray dawn began to dim the light of the rush-candle, before Mary thought it possible that day was already trembling in the horizon.
Then she got up from the chair where she had been dozing50, and went, half-asleep, to the window to assure herself that morning was at hand. The streets were unusually quiet with a Sabbath stillness. No factory bells that morning; no early workmen going to their labours; no slip-shod girls cleaning the windows of the little shops which broke the monotony of the street; instead, you might see here and there some operative sallying forth51 for a breath of country air, or some father leading out his wee toddling52 bairns for the unwonted pleasure of a walk with "Daddy," in the clear frosty morning. Men with more leisure on week days would perhaps have walked quicker than they did through the fresh sharp air of this Sunday morning; but to them there was a pleasure, an absolute refreshment53 in the dawdling54 gait they, one and all of them, had.
To be sure, there were one or two passengers on that morning whose objects were less innocent and less praiseworthy than those of the people I have already mentioned, and whose animal state of mind and body clashed jarringly on the peacefulness of the day, but upon them I will not dwell; as you and I, and almost every one, I think, may send up our individual cry of self-reproach that we have not done all that we could for the stray and wandering ones of our brethren.
When Mary turned from the window, she went to the bed of each sleeper39, to look and listen. Alice looked perfectly55 quiet and happy in her slumber40, and her face seemed to have become much more youthful during her painless approach of death.
Mrs Wilson's countenance56 was stamped with the anxiety of the last few days, although she, too, appeared sleeping soundly; but as Mary gazed on her, trying to trace a likeness57 to her son in her face, she awoke and looked up into Mary's eyes, while the expression of consciousness came hack58 into her own.
Both were silent for a minute or two. Mary's eyes had fallen beneath that penetrating59 gaze, in which the agony of memory seemed every minute to find fuller vent60.
"Is it a dream?" the mother asked at last in a low voice.
"No!" replied Mary, in the same tone.
Mrs Wilson hid her face in the pillow.
She was fully26 conscious of everything this morning; it was evident that the stunning61 effect of the subpoena62, which had affected63 her so much last night in her weak, worn-out state, had passed away. Mary offered no opposition64 when she indicated by languid gesture and action that she wished to rise. A sleepless65 bed is a haunted place.
When she was dressed with Mary's help, she stood by Alice for a minute or two, looking at the slumberer66.
"How happy she is!" said she, quietly and sadly.
All the time that Mary was getting breakfast ready, and performing every other little domestic office she could think of, to add to the comfort of Jem's mother, Mrs Wilson sat still in the arm-chair, watching her silently. Her old irritation67 of temper and manner seemed to have suddenly disappeared, or perhaps she was too depressed68 in body and mind to show it.
Mary told her all that had been done with regard to Mr Bridgenorth; all her own plans for seeking out Will; all her hopes; and concealed69 as well as she could all the doubts and fears that would arise unbidden. To this Mrs Wilson listened without much remark, but with deep interest and perfect comprehension. When Mary ceased, she sighed and said, "Oh wench! I am his mother, and yet I do so little, I can do so little! That's what frets70 me! I seem like a child as sees its mammy ill, and moans and cries its little heart out, yet does nought71 to help. I think my sense has left me all at once, and I can't even find strength to cry like the little child."
Hereupon she broke into a feeble wail72 of self-reproach, that her outward show of misery73 was not greater; as if any cries, or tears, or loud-spoken words could have told of such pangs74 at the heart as that look, and that thin, piping, altered voice!
But think of Mary and what she was enduring. Picture to yourself (for I cannot tell you) the armies of thoughts that met and clashed in her brain; and then imagine the effort it cost her to be calm, and quiet, and even in a faint way, cheerful and smiling at times.
After a while she began to stir about in her own mind for some means of sparing the poor mother the trial of appearing as a witness in the matter of the gun. They had made no allusion75 to her summons this morning, and Mary almost thought she must have forgotten it; and surely some means might be found to prevent that additional sorrow. She must see Job about it; nay76, if necessary, she must see Mr Bridgenorth, with all his truth-compelling powers; for, indeed, she had so struggled and triumphed (though a sadly-bleeding victor at heart) over herself these two last days, had so concealed agony, and hidden her inward woe and bewilderment, that she began to take confidence, and to have faith in her own powers of meeting any one with a passably fair show, whatever might be rending77 her life beneath the cloak of her deception78.
Accordingly, as soon as Mrs Davenport came in after morning church, to ask after the two lone3 women, and she had heard the report Mary had to give (so much better as regarded Mrs Wilson than what they had feared the night before it would have been)--as soon as this kind-hearted, grateful woman came in, Mary, telling her her purpose, went off to fetch the doctor who attended Alice.
He was shaking himself after his morning's round, and happy in the anticipation of his Sunday's dinner; but he was a good-tempered man, who found it difficult to keep down his jovial79 easiness even by the bed of sickness or death. He had mischosen his profession: for it was his delight to see every one around him in full enjoyment80 of life.
However, he subdued81 his face to the roper expression of sympathy, befitting a doctor listening to a patient, or a patient's friend (and Mary's sad, pale, anxious face, might be taken for either the one, or the other).
"Well, my girl! and what brings you here?" said he, as he entered his surgery. "Not on your own account, I hope."
"I wanted you to come and see Alice Wilson,--and then I thought you would maybe take a look at Mrs Wilson."
He bustled82 on his hat and coat, and followed Mary, instantly.
After shaking his head over Alice (as if it was a mournful thing for one so pure and good, so true, although so humble83 a Christian84, to be nearing her desired haven), and muttering the accustomed words intended to destroy hope, and prepare anticipation, he went in compliance85 with Mary's look to ask the usual questions of Mrs Wilson, who sat passively in her arm-chair.
She answered his questions, and submitted to his examination.
"How do you think her?" asked Mary, eagerly.
"Why--a," began he, perceiving that he was desired to take one side in his answer, and unable to find out whether his listener was anxious for a favourable86 verdict or otherwise; but thinking it most probable that she would desire the former, he continued,
"She is weak, certainly; the natural result of such a shock as the arrest of her son would be,--for I understand this James Wilson, who murdered Mr Carson, was her son. Sad thing to have such a reprobate87 in the family."
"You say 'who murdered,' sir!" said Mary, indignantly. "He is only taken up on suspicion, and many have no doubt of his innocence--those who know him, sir."
"Ah, well, well! doctors have seldom time to read newspapers, and I daresay I'm not very correct in my story. I dare say he's innocent; I'm sure I had no right to say otherwise,--only words slip out--No indeed, young woman, I see no cause for apprehension88 about this poor creature in the next room;--weak--certainly; but a day or two's good nursing will set her up, and I'm sure you're a good nurse, my dear, from your pretty kind-hearted face,--I'll send a couple of pills and a draught89, but don't alarm yourself--there's no occasion, I assure you."
"But you don't think her fit to go to Liverpool?" asked Mary, still in the anxious tone of one who wishes earnestly for some particular decision.
"To Liverpool--yes," replied he. "A short journey like that couldn't fatigue90, and might distract her thoughts. Let her go by all means,--it would be the very thing for her."
"Oh, sir!" burst out Mary, almost sobbing91; "I did so hope you would say she was too ill to go."
"Whew--" said he, with a prolonged whistle, trying to understand the case; but, being, as he said, no reader of newspapers, utterly92 unaware93 of the peculiar reasons there might be for so apparently94 unfeeling a wish,-- "Why did you not tell me so sooner? It might certainly do her harm in her weak state! there is always some risk attending journeys--draughts, and what not. To her they might prove very injurious,--very. I disapprove95 of journeys or excitement, in all cases where the patient is in the low, fluttered state in which Mrs Wilson is. If you take my advice, you will certainly put a stop to all thoughts of going to Liverpool." He really had completely changed his opinion, though quite unconsciously; so desirous was he to comply with the wishes of others.
"Oh, sir, thank you! And will you give me a certificate of her being unable to go, if the lawyer says we must have one? The lawyer, you know," continued she, seeing him look puzzled, "who is to defend Jem,--it was as a witness against him----"
"My dear girl!" said he, almost angrily, "why did you not state the case fully at first? one minute would have done it,-and my dinner waiting all this time. To be sure, she can't go,--it would be madness to think of it; if her evidence could have done good, it would have been a different thing. Come to me for the certificate any time; that is to say, if the lawyer advises you. I second the lawyer; take counsel with both the learned professions--ha, ha, ha."
And laughing at his own joke, he departed, leaving Mary accusing herself of stupidity in having imagined that every one was as well acquainted with the facts concerning the trial as she was herself; for indeed she had never doubted that the doctor would have been aware of the purpose of poor Mrs Wilson's journey to Liverpool.
Presently she went to Job (the ever ready Mrs Davenport keeping watch over the two old women), and told him her fears, her plans, and her proceedings96.
To her surprise he shook his head, doubtfully.
"It may have an awkward look, if we keep her back. Lawyers is up to tricks."
"But it is no trick," said Mary. "She is so poorly, she was last night so, at least; and to-day she's so faded and weak."
"Poor soul! I dare say. I only mean for Jem's sake; and so much is known, it won't do now to hang back. But I'll ask Mr Bridgenorth. I'll e'en take your doctor's advice. Yo tarry at home, and I'll come to yo in an hour's time. Go your ways, wench."
收听单词发音 |
1
pallid
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| adj.苍白的，呆板的 | |
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2
anonymous
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| adj.无名的；匿名的；无特色的 | |
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lone
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| adj.孤寂的，单独的；唯一的 | |
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4
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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penetrate
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| v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解 | |
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bustling
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| adj.喧闹的 | |
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wan
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| (wide area network)广域网 | |
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heed
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| v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心 | |
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ominous
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| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
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entreaty
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| n.恳求，哀求 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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12
irritable
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| adj.急躁的；过敏的；易怒的 | |
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13
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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14
wedded
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| adj.正式结婚的；渴望…的，执著于…的v.嫁，娶，（与…）结婚( wed的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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loath
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| adj.不愿意的；勉强的 | |
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coaxing
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| v.哄，用好话劝说( coax的现在分词 )；巧言骗取；哄劝，劝诱；“锻炼”效应 | |
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soothingly
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| adv.抚慰地，安慰地；镇痛地 | |
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soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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imprisoned
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| 下狱，监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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concealment
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| n.隐藏, 掩盖，隐瞒 | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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caresses
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| 爱抚，抚摸( caress的名词复数 ) | |
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woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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disturbance
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| n.动乱，骚动；打扰，干扰；(身心)失调 | |
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awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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delirium
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| n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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stunned
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| adj. 震惊的，惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
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bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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begot
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| v.为…之生父( beget的过去式 )；产生，引起 | |
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anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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sleepers
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| n.卧铺（通常以复数形式出现）；卧车( sleeper的名词复数 )；轨枕；睡觉（呈某种状态）的人；小耳环 | |
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sleeper
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| n.睡眠者，卧车，卧铺 | |
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slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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slumbers
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| 睡眠，安眠( slumber的名词复数 ) | |
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scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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hovering
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| 鸟( hover的现在分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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scraps
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| 油渣 | |
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ballads
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| 民歌，民谣，特别指叙述故事的歌( ballad的名词复数 )； 讴 | |
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primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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psalms
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| n.赞美诗( psalm的名词复数 )；圣诗；圣歌；(中的) | |
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ivy
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| n.常青藤，常春藤 | |
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brook
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| n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让 | |
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dozing
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| v.打瞌睡,假寐 n.瞌睡 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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toddling
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| v.（幼儿等）东倒西歪地走( toddle的现在分词 )；蹒跚行走；溜达；散步 | |
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refreshment
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| n.恢复，精神爽快，提神之事物；（复数）refreshments:点心，茶点 | |
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54
dawdling
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| adj.闲逛的，懒散的v.混（时间）( dawdle的现在分词 ) | |
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55
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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likeness
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| n.相像，相似（之处） | |
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hack
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| n.劈，砍，出租马车；v.劈，砍，干咳 | |
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penetrating
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| adj.（声音）响亮的，尖锐的adj.（气味）刺激的adj.（思想）敏锐的，有洞察力的 | |
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vent
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| n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄 | |
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stunning
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| adj.极好的；使人晕倒的 | |
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subpoena
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| n.（法律）传票；v.传讯 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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65
sleepless
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| adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的 | |
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slumberer
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| 睡眠者，微睡者 | |
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irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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frets
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| 基质间片； 品丝（吉他等指板上定音的）( fret的名词复数 ) | |
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71
nought
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| n.／adj.无，零 | |
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wail
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| vt./vi.大声哀号，恸哭；呼啸，尖啸 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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pangs
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| 突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 )； 悲痛 | |
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allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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rending
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| v.撕碎( rend的现在分词 )；分裂；（因愤怒、痛苦等而）揪扯（衣服或头发等）；（声音等）刺破 | |
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deception
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| n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计 | |
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jovial
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| adj.快乐的，好交际的 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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bustled
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| 闹哄哄地忙乱，奔忙( bustle的过去式和过去分词 )； 催促 | |
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83
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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compliance
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| n.顺从；服从；附和；屈从 | |
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favourable
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| adj.赞成的，称赞的，有利的，良好的，顺利的 | |
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reprobate
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| n.无赖汉；堕落的人 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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sobbing
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| <主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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92
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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unaware
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| a.不知道的，未意识到的 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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95
disapprove
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| v.不赞成，不同意，不批准 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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