"I'VE GOT to have a man to drive team for a few days," said the Orderly of Co. Q of the 200th Ind. one morning at roll-call. "The teamster's sick and I'm goin' to send him to the hospital to-day."
The Orderly-Sergeant of Co. Q was a wily fellow. All Orderly-Sergeants have to be. If they are not naturally, they learn it very quickly, or lose the little diamond on their sleeves, if not all their stripes. The man who undertakes to manage 60 or 75 stalwart, high-spirited young Americans through all their moods and tenses, and every kind of weather, has to be as wise as a serpent, though not necessarily as harmless as a dove. Therefore, the Orderly-Sergeant didn't tell the boys what ailed3 the teamster. The fact was that the heels of the "off=wheeler" caught the teamster in the pit of the stomach and doubled him up so badly that he wouldn't be fit for duty for a week. It was worse than the green-corn colic.
"'Tisn't every man," continued the Orderly, "that's gifted with fust-class talent fur drivin' team. I'd like to find the best man to steer4 them animals, an' if there's a real sientifick mule5-whacker in this comp'ny let him speak up an' I'll detail him right off. It'll be a soft thing fur somebody; them mules6 are daises."
Somehow they didn't all speak at once. The company had only had the team two or three weeks, but the boys were not dull of hearing, and ominous7 sounds had come to them from the rear of the camp at all hours of the night—the maddening "Yeehaw-w-w!" of the long-eared brutes8, and the frantic9 ejaculations of the teamster, spiced with oaths that would have sent a shudder10 through "our army in Flanders."
He Let Both Heels Fly 133
So they did not apply for the vacant saddle with that alacrity11 which might have been expected, when so good a chance was offered for a soldier to ride and get his traps carried on a wagon12. Whenever an infantryman threw away such an opportunity it is safe to assume that there was some good reason for it.
But the idea of riding for a few days and letting his blisters13 get well was too much for Si Klegg. Besides, he thought if there was any one thing he could do better than another it was driving a team. He had been doing it on his father's farm all his life. It is true, he didn't know much about mules, but he imagined they were a good deal like horses.
"I'm your man!" spoke15 up Si cheerfully.
"All right," said the Orderly. "Company, Right—Face! Break ranks—March!"
"There ain't any trouble about it!" Si said to Shorty as they walked back to the tent. "I reckon it's easy enough to manage mules if you go at 'em right. It'll be just fun for me to drive team. And say. Shorty, I'll carry all your traps on my wagon. That'll be a heap better'n totin' 'em!"
Si gathered up his outfit17 and started to enter upon his new sphere of usefulness.
"Shall I take my gun and bay'net along?" he asked the Orderly.
"Guess you'd better; they might come handy!" replied the Orderly, as he thought of the teamster's disastrous18 encounter with the "off-wheeler."
After Shorty had eaten his breakfast he thought he would go back to the tent and see how Si was getting on. With thoughtful care Si had fed his mules before appeasing19 his own appetite, and Shorty found him just waiting for his coffee to cool a bit.
"Why, them 'ere mules is jist as gentle'n' peaceful-like ez so many kittens. Look at 'em, Shorty!" and Si pointed20 with a proud and gratified air to where the six "daisies" were standing21, three on each side of the wagon-pole, with their noses in the feed-box, quietly munching22 their matutinal rations23, and whisking their paint-brush tails about in evident enjoyment24.
Indeed, to look at those mules one who was ignorant of the peculiar25 characteristics of the species would not have thought that beneath those meek26 exteriors27 there were hearts filled with the raging fires of total depravity. Shorty thought how it would be, but he didn't say anything. He was sure that Si would find out about it soon enough.
The brigade to which the 200th Ind. belonged was to march in the rear of the long procession that day. This was lucky for Si, as it gave him an hour or two more than he would otherwise have had to get hitched29 up. But all the same he thought he would begin early, so as to be on hand with his team in good time.
"Want any help?" asked Shorty.
"No," said Si; "I can hitch28 'em up slick's a whistle. I can't see why so many makes sich a fuss 'bout14 handlin' mules."
Shorty lighted his cob pipe and sat down on a stump30 to watch Si. "Kinder think there'll be a circus!" he said to himself.
Si got up from his coffee and hardtack, and addressed himself to the business of the hour. It proved to be just as much as he could attend to. When Si poured half a bushel of corn into the feed box it was all very nice, and the animals rubbed their heads against him to give expression to their grateful emotions. But when it came to putting on the harness, that was quite a different thing. The mere31 touch of a strap32 was enough to stimulate33 into baleful activity all the evil passions of mule-nature.
"Now, Pete and Jim and Susan, we must git ready to pull out!" said Si to his charge, in a familiar, soothing34 tone, preliminary to getting down to business. It was his evident desire to maintain the friendly relations that he thought he had already established. At the first rattle35 of the harness Pete and Susan and the rest, moved by a common impulse, laid back their ears and began to bray36, their heels at the same time showing symptoms of impatience37.
"Whoa, there—whoa!" exclaimed Si, in a conciliatory way, as he advanced with a bridle38 in his hand toward one of the big wheelers, whose ears were flapping about like the fans of a windmill.
Si imprudently crept up from the rear. A flank movement would have been better. As soon as he had got fairly within range the mule winked39 viciously, lowered his head, and let fly both heels. Si was a spry boy, and a quick dodge40 saved him from the fate of his predecessor41. One of the heels whizzed past his ear with the speed of a cannon42 ball, caught his hat, and sent it spinning through the air.
Shorty, who was whittling43 up a piece of Kentucky twist to recharge his pipe, laughed till he rolled off the stump all in a heap. A few of the other boys had stayed out to see the fun, and were lounging around the outskirts44 of the corral. "Go for 'em, Si!" they shouted.
Si was plucky45, and again advanced with more caution. This time he was successful, after a spirited engagement, in getting the bridle on. He thought he would ride him down to the creek46 for water, and this would give him a chance to get acquainted with him, as it were. He patted the animal's neck, called him pet names, and gently stroked his stubby mane. Alas47, Si didn't know then what an utter waste of material it was to give taffy to an army mule.
With a quick spring Si vaulted48 upon the back of the mule. He started off in good shape, waving his hand exultingly49 to the boys with the air of a General who has just won a great battle.
All at once the animal stopped as suddenly as if he had run against a stone wall. He planted his fore2 feet, throwing his ears back and his head down. There was a simultaneous rear elevation50, with the heels at an upward angle of about 45 degrees. Si went sprawling51 among the bushes. This performance was greeted with great enthusiasm by the fast increasing crowd of spectators.
Si Went Sprawling 137
"I oughter have told you that saddle-mule's the worst bucker in the Army o' the Ohio," said the Quartermaster-Sergeant, who was among the onlookers53. "Why, he'd buck52 off the stripe that runs down his back, if he took it into his measly head. He bucked54 off a chattel55 mortgage, and that's the way he come into the army. You can't ride him without using one of Aunt Jemima's sticking plasters."
"Much obliged for your information. But I will ride him all the same," said Si, whose temper had risen to the exploding point. "I kin1 ride him if he ties himself in a double bow-knot."
Si was too much of a farmer boy to give in to anything that walked on four legs.
He had hung on to the bridle rein56, and after addressing a few impressive words to the obstreperous57 mule he again leaped upon his back. The mule took a docile58 turn, his motive59 having apparently60 been merely to show Si what he could do when he took a notion.
The space at command will not permit us to follow Si through all the details of "hitching61 up" that team. He did finally "git thar, Eli," after much strategic effort. The mules brayed62 and kicked a good deal, and Si's wrath63 was fully16 aroused before he got through. He became convinced that soft words were of no account in such a contest, and he enforced discipline by the judicious64 use of a big club, together with such appropriate language as he could think of. Si hadn't yet learned to swear with that wonderful and appalling65 proficiency66 that was so soon acquired by the army teamsters. In the management of mules profanity was considered an invaluable67 accessory in times of great emergency.
At last Si climbed into the saddle, as proud as a King. Seizing the long, single line running to the "leaders"—by which contrivance the army team was always guided—he shouted "Git up, thar, Pete! G'lang Susan!" and the caravan68 started. But the unregenerated brutes didn't go far. Si was gaily69 cracking his whip, trying to hit a big blue-bottle fly that was perched on the ear of one of the "swing" mules.
As if by a preconcerted plan, the establishment came to a sudden halt and the mules began to rear and kick and plunge70 around in utter disregard of consequences. It didn't take more than a minute for them to get into a hopeless tangle71. They were in all conceivable shapes—heads and tails together, crosswise and "every which way," tied up with the straps72 of the harness. The air in all directions was full of heels. There was a maddening chorus of discordant73 braying74.
In the course of the scrimmage Si found himself on the ground. Gathering75 himself up, he gazed in utter amazement76 at the twisted, writhing77 mass. At this moment a messenger came from the Captain to "hurry up that team," and poor Si didn't know what to do. He wished he could only swear like the old mule drivers. He thought it would make him feel better. There was no one to help him out of his dilemma78, as the members of the company were all getting ready for the march.
A veteran teamster happened along that way, and took in the situation at a glance. He saw that Si had bit off more than he could chew, and volunteered his assistance.
"Here, young feller," said he, "lemme show ye how to take the stiffenin' out o' them ere dod-gasted mules!"
Seizing the whip at the small end of the stock he began laying on right and left with the butt79, taking care to keep out of range of the heels. During these persuasive80 efforts he was shouting at the top of his voice words that fairly hissed81 through the air. Si thought he could smell the brimstone and see the smoke issuing from the old teamster's mouth and nostrils82. This is a section of what that experienced mule driver said, as nearly as we can express it:
"_________;;_____________!!!***???!!!! ____???________???!!!!"
Si thanked the veteran for these timely suggestions in the way of language, and said he would remember them. He had no doubt they would help him out the next time.
They finally got the team untied83, and Si drove over to the company ground. The regiment84 had been gone some time, a detail having been left to load the wagon. After getting out upon the road the mules plodded85 along without objection, and Si got on famously. But having lost his place in the column in consequence of the delay, he was obliged to fall in rear of the division train, and it was noon before he got well started.
Along towards evening Si struck a section of old corduroy road through a piece of swamp. The passage of the artillery86 and wagons87 had left the road in a wretched condition. The logs were lying at all points of the compass, or drifting vaguely88 about in the mire89, while here and there were seas of water and pits of abysmal90 depth.
Stuck in the Mud 141
To make the story short, Si's mules stumbled and floundered and kicked,—while Si laid on with the whip and used some of the words he had learned from the old teamster before starting.
At length the wagon became hopelessly stalled. The wheels sank to the hubs, and Si yelled and cracked his whip in vain. Perhaps if he had had the old teamster there to swear for him he could have pulled through, but as it was he gave it up, dismounted, hunted a dry spot, and sat down to think and wait for something to turn up.
Just before dark a large detail from Co. Q, which had been sent back on an exploring expedition for Si and his team, reached the spot. After hours of prying91 and pushing and tugging92 and yelling they at length got the wagon over the slough93, reaching camp about midnight.
"Orderly," said Si, "I believe I'd like to resign my place as mule-driver. It's a nice, soft thing, but I'd jest as lief let s'mother feller have it, so I'll take my gun an' go to hoofin' it agin!"
点击收听单词发音
1 kin | |
n.家族,亲属,血缘关系;adj.亲属关系的,同类的 | |
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2 fore | |
adv.在前面;adj.先前的;在前部的;n.前部 | |
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3 ailed | |
v.生病( ail的过去式和过去分词 );感到不舒服;处境困难;境况不佳 | |
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4 steer | |
vt.驾驶,为…操舵;引导;vi.驾驶 | |
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5 mule | |
n.骡子,杂种,执拗的人 | |
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6 mules | |
骡( mule的名词复数 ); 拖鞋; 顽固的人; 越境运毒者 | |
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7 ominous | |
adj.不祥的,不吉的,预兆的,预示的 | |
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8 brutes | |
兽( brute的名词复数 ); 畜生; 残酷无情的人; 兽性 | |
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9 frantic | |
adj.狂乱的,错乱的,激昂的 | |
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10 shudder | |
v.战粟,震动,剧烈地摇晃;n.战粟,抖动 | |
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11 alacrity | |
n.敏捷,轻快,乐意 | |
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12 wagon | |
n.四轮马车,手推车,面包车;无盖运货列车 | |
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13 blisters | |
n.水疱( blister的名词复数 );水肿;气泡 | |
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14 bout | |
n.侵袭,发作;一次(阵,回);拳击等比赛 | |
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15 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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16 fully | |
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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17 outfit | |
n.(为特殊用途的)全套装备,全套服装 | |
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18 disastrous | |
adj.灾难性的,造成灾害的;极坏的,很糟的 | |
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19 appeasing | |
安抚,抚慰( appease的现在分词 ); 绥靖(满足另一国的要求以避免战争) | |
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20 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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21 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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22 munching | |
v.用力咀嚼(某物),大嚼( munch的现在分词 ) | |
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23 rations | |
定量( ration的名词复数 ); 配给量; 正常量; 合理的量 | |
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24 enjoyment | |
n.乐趣;享有;享用 | |
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25 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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26 meek | |
adj.温顺的,逆来顺受的 | |
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27 exteriors | |
n.外面( exterior的名词复数 );外貌;户外景色图 | |
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28 hitch | |
v.免费搭(车旅行);系住;急提;n.故障;急拉 | |
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29 hitched | |
(免费)搭乘他人之车( hitch的过去式和过去分词 ); 搭便车; 攀上; 跃上 | |
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30 stump | |
n.残株,烟蒂,讲演台;v.砍断,蹒跚而走 | |
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31 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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32 strap | |
n.皮带,带子;v.用带扣住,束牢;用绷带包扎 | |
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33 stimulate | |
vt.刺激,使兴奋;激励,使…振奋 | |
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34 soothing | |
adj.慰藉的;使人宽心的;镇静的 | |
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35 rattle | |
v.飞奔,碰响;激怒;n.碰撞声;拨浪鼓 | |
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36 bray | |
n.驴叫声, 喇叭声;v.驴叫 | |
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37 impatience | |
n.不耐烦,急躁 | |
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38 bridle | |
n.笼头,束缚;vt.抑制,约束;动怒 | |
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39 winked | |
v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 );递眼色(表示友好或高兴等);(指光)闪烁;闪亮 | |
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40 dodge | |
v.闪开,躲开,避开;n.妙计,诡计 | |
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41 predecessor | |
n.前辈,前任 | |
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42 cannon | |
n.大炮,火炮;飞机上的机关炮 | |
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43 whittling | |
v.切,削(木头),使逐渐变小( whittle的现在分词 ) | |
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44 outskirts | |
n.郊外,郊区 | |
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45 plucky | |
adj.勇敢的 | |
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46 creek | |
n.小溪,小河,小湾 | |
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47 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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48 vaulted | |
adj.拱状的 | |
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49 exultingly | |
兴高采烈地,得意地 | |
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50 elevation | |
n.高度;海拔;高地;上升;提高 | |
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51 sprawling | |
adj.蔓生的,不规则地伸展的v.伸开四肢坐[躺]( sprawl的现在分词 );蔓延;杂乱无序地拓展;四肢伸展坐着(或躺着) | |
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52 buck | |
n.雄鹿,雄兔;v.马离地跳跃 | |
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53 onlookers | |
n.旁观者,观看者( onlooker的名词复数 ) | |
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54 bucked | |
adj.快v.(马等)猛然弓背跃起( buck的过去式和过去分词 );抵制;猛然震荡;马等尥起后蹄跳跃 | |
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55 chattel | |
n.动产;奴隶 | |
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56 rein | |
n.疆绳,统治,支配;vt.以僵绳控制,统治 | |
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57 obstreperous | |
adj.喧闹的,不守秩序的 | |
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58 docile | |
adj.驯服的,易控制的,容易教的 | |
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59 motive | |
n.动机,目的;adv.发动的,运动的 | |
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60 apparently | |
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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61 hitching | |
搭乘; (免费)搭乘他人之车( hitch的现在分词 ); 搭便车; 攀上; 跃上 | |
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62 brayed | |
v.发出驴叫似的声音( bray的过去式和过去分词 );发嘟嘟声;粗声粗气地讲话(或大笑);猛击 | |
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63 wrath | |
n.愤怒,愤慨,暴怒 | |
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64 judicious | |
adj.明智的,明断的,能作出明智决定的 | |
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65 appalling | |
adj.骇人听闻的,令人震惊的,可怕的 | |
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66 proficiency | |
n.精通,熟练,精练 | |
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67 invaluable | |
adj.无价的,非常宝贵的,极为贵重的 | |
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68 caravan | |
n.大蓬车;活动房屋 | |
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69 gaily | |
adv.欢乐地,高兴地 | |
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70 plunge | |
v.跳入,(使)投入,(使)陷入;猛冲 | |
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71 tangle | |
n.纠缠;缠结;混乱;v.(使)缠绕;变乱 | |
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72 straps | |
n.带子( strap的名词复数 );挎带;肩带;背带v.用皮带捆扎( strap的第三人称单数 );用皮带抽打;包扎;给…打绷带 | |
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73 discordant | |
adj.不调和的 | |
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74 braying | |
v.发出驴叫似的声音( bray的现在分词 );发嘟嘟声;粗声粗气地讲话(或大笑);猛击 | |
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75 gathering | |
n.集会,聚会,聚集 | |
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76 amazement | |
n.惊奇,惊讶 | |
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77 writhing | |
(因极度痛苦而)扭动或翻滚( writhe的现在分词 ) | |
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78 dilemma | |
n.困境,进退两难的局面 | |
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79 butt | |
n.笑柄;烟蒂;枪托;臀部;v.用头撞或顶 | |
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80 persuasive | |
adj.有说服力的,能说得使人相信的 | |
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81 hissed | |
发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 ); 发嘘声表示反对 | |
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82 nostrils | |
鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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83 untied | |
松开,解开( untie的过去式和过去分词 ); 解除,使自由; 解决 | |
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84 regiment | |
n.团,多数,管理;v.组织,编成团,统制 | |
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85 plodded | |
v.沉重缓慢地走(路)( plod的过去式和过去分词 );努力从事;沉闷地苦干;缓慢进行(尤指艰难枯燥的工作) | |
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86 artillery | |
n.(军)火炮,大炮;炮兵(部队) | |
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87 wagons | |
n.四轮的运货马车( wagon的名词复数 );铁路货车;小手推车 | |
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88 vaguely | |
adv.含糊地,暖昧地 | |
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89 mire | |
n.泥沼,泥泞;v.使...陷于泥泞,使...陷入困境 | |
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90 abysmal | |
adj.无底的,深不可测的,极深的;糟透的,极坏的;完全的 | |
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91 prying | |
adj.爱打听的v.打听,刺探(他人的私事)( pry的现在分词 );撬开 | |
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92 tugging | |
n.牵引感v.用力拉,使劲拉,猛扯( tug的现在分词 ) | |
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93 slough | |
v.蜕皮,脱落,抛弃 | |
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