"YOU can take it easy to-day, boys, for we ain't goin' to move!" said the Orderly of Co. Q one morning at roll-call. "The orders is for to put the camp in nice shape, and for the men to wash up. We're goin' to have an extra ration1 of soap this mornin', and you fellows want to stir around lively and fix yerselves as if it was Sunday and ye was goin' to meetin'. The fust thing after breakfast all hands 'll turn out and p'leece ther camp."
"What in the world does he mean by p'leecin' the camp?" Corporal Klegg asked Shorty, as they stood by the fire making coffee and warming up the fragments of chicken that had been left over from supper the night before. "I didn't c'pose," said Si, "that we 'listed to be p'leecemen!"
Shorty replied that he didn't know, but he reckoned they'd find out soon enough. The 200th Ind. had been on the jump every day since leaving Louisville, and this was the first time it had been called on to "police" a camp.
As soon as breakfast was over the Orderly directed each man to provide himself with a small bundle of sticks, made by putting together a dozen bits of brush or "switches" three or four feet long, such as are used to rural pedagogs to enforce discipline. These, he said, were the implements3 used in policing camp, which meant brushing the leaves and loose debris4 outside the grounds.
"Does Corprils have to do that sort o' thing?" asked Si. He thought army regulations and camp usage ought to show some consideration for his rank. "What's the use of bein' a Corporil," he said to himself, "if it don't give a feller a chance to play off once in a while?"
"Corporals ain't no better'n anybody else," replied the Orderly, "'n' you can jist git some brush and go to work, 'long with the rest!"
Si was disposed to grumble5 a little, but he obeyed orders and was soon scratching up the leaves and dust with great zeal6. He did not find it a particularly pleasant occupation, but the camp looked so much better when the job was done, that he thought it was not a bad thing, after all.
"Now, Shorty," said Si, "let's go down to the creek7 and do our washin'. My clothes has got to be biled, and I shouldn't wonder if yourn had, too."
"Yes, that's a fact!" said Shorty.
They got a big camp-kettle that had been used, and would be again, for making bean-soup, and started for the stream back of the camp. They had no change of clothing with them. Some days before, in order to lighten their knapsacks, they had taken out their extra shirts and drawers, tied them in a bundle, and put them on the company wagon8, and this was somewhere back in the rear, owing to the confusion of the campaign.
"Seems to me," observed Si, "it ain't hardly a fair shake for Uncle Sam to make us do our washin'. They ought to confiscate9 the niggers 'n' set them at it; or I don't see why the Guvyment can't furnish a washin' masheen for each comp'ny! 'Twouldn't be no more'n the square thing!"
Si Was Disposed to Grumble 181
"The wimmen does the washin', ye know, Si, up where we live," said Shorty, "'n' I don't quite like the notion o' doin' that kind o' workt, but I can't jest see how we're goin' to git out of it. It's got to be done, that's sure!"
On the bank of the stream they quickly threw off their clothes for a bath. Si cast rueful glances at his nether10 garments as he laid them on the ground.
"Hadn't we better pile some rocks on 'em, Shorty?" said he. I'm affeared if we don't they'll crawl off into the bush.
"Guess we had," replied Shorty. "I b'lieve mine's started already!"
Having made sure of them, they plunged11 into the water. Far up and down the stream were hundreds of men, swimming and splashing about.
The soldiers availed themselves of every opportunity to enjoy this luxury.
Having thoroughly13 performed their ablutions. Si and Shorty turned their energies toward the clothes, which were in such sore need of soap and hot water. Putting their garments into the kettle and filling it with water, they built a fire under it. After half an hour of vigorous boiling they concluded they were "done." Plenty of soap, rubbing and rinsing14 finished the work, and the clothes sure presented a remarkable15 appearance, particularly the blue trousers.
"How're we going to git 'em dry?" asked Si, as he wrung16 out the last of his "wash."
"Hang 'em on the fence in the sun!" replied Shorty.
"But what'll we wear while they're dryin'?"
"Nothin', I reckon!"
So they spread out their garments, and then dashed again into the water. After splashing awhile they came out and drew on their half-dried trousers. Shorty lighted his pipe as they sat down to wait for the sunshine to do its perfect work. All along the stream were soldiers in similar stages of dishabille. It seemed like the Garden of Eden.
Showing the Old Man a Trick 183
"Say, Shorty," said Si, "'taint17 very wicked to smoke, is it?"
"Guess not!" was the reply.
"That's the way it 'pears to me, 'n' I've been kinder thinkin' lately that I'd learn how. The soljers all seem to enjoy their smokin' so much. You know. Shorty, that I was always a reel good boy—never smoked, nor chawed terbacker, nor cussed, nor done nothin' that was out o' the straight an' narrer way. When I jined the regiment18 my good old mother says to me: 'Now, Si,' says she, 'I do hope ye'll 'member what I've always taught ye. I've beam 'em tell that they does dretful things in the army, and I want ye to see if ye can't be as good a boy as ye've been at home.' Of course, I told her I would, 'n' I mean, ter stick to it; but I don't b'lieve there's any harm in smokin'. Is it hard to learn?"
"Wall, I dunno; I reck'n ye can't most always tell till ye try. Take a whiff, 'nd see how she goes!" And Shorty handed him his pipe, which he had just refilled with whittlings of black "navy plug."
"Derned if I don't try it!" said Si, as he took the pipe and began to puff19 with great energy. He made a few wry20 faces at first, but Shorty told him to stick to it, and he bravely pulled away while the clouds of smoke curled above him.
It was not long till the color left his face, his head was in a whirl, and his stomach began to manifest eruptive symptoms.
"Shorty," he gasped21, "I'm awful sick. If smokin' makes a feller feel like this I don't want any more of it in mine."
"Where's all yer sand ye brag22 so much about?" said Shorty, laughing. "You're mighty23 poor timber for a soljer if ye can't stand a little pipe o' terbacker like that. You'll get over it purty soon, and it won't bother ye any next time ye try it."
Si found that he had on hand about as much as he could manage with his dizzy head and the rebellion that was so actively24 going on at a point a little lower in his physical system. The feeling wore gradually off, however, and by the time he was able to walk their clothes were well dried. They proceeded to "dress up," and then returned to camp.
During the afternoon the camp was visited by natives, black and white, from the region round about, with corn "pones," alleged25 pies, boiled eggs, and truck of various kinds, which they sought to dispose of for a valuable consideration. They struck a bad crowd, however, in a financial sense. The members of the 200th Ind. were not at this time in a condition of opulence26. Most of them had spent what money they brought from home, and they had not been out long enough yet to receive a visit from the Paymaster. The lank27 men and scrawny women cried their wares28 vociferously29, but with indifferent results. The boys wanted the stuff, but they were "busted," and trade was dull.
Si looked wistfully at the "pies," and suggested to Shorty a joint30 investment. Their purses were nearly empty, but the temptation was too strong to be resisted.
"Them looks nice," said Si. They were the first pies he had seen since leaving home, and his judgment31 was a little "off." As a matter of fact, it was only by the greatest stretch of courtesy that they could be called pies at all. But the word touched Si in a tender spot, and he only thought of such as his mother used to make.
Si and Shorty "pooled in" and bought a pie. Impatiently whipping out his pocket knife Si tried to cut it in two. It was hard work, for the "crust"—so called—was as tough as the hide of a mule32. By their united efforts they at length succeeded in sawing it asunder33. It was a fearful and wonderful specimen34 of culinary effort. It was made of two slabs35 of sodden36, leathery dough37, with a very feeble layer of dried apples sandwiched between them.
Si tried his teeth on the pie, but it was like trying to chew an old boot-leg.
"I say, old lady," said he, turning to the female of whom he had bought it, "is these pies pegged38 or sewed?"
"Look a hyar, young feller," said the woman, with considerable vinegar in her tone, "p'raps you-uns-all thinks it's right smart to insult we-uns; it shows how yer wuz broughten up. I don't 'low yer ever seed any nicer dog-g-goned pies 'n them is. Ye needn't try ter argify 'long 'th me, fur I kin2 jest knock the spots off'n any woman there is 'round here in cookin'."
Si saw that it would be profitless to discuss the matter, and concluded to make the best of a bad bargain. But he wouldn't eat the pie.
On the whole, the hucksters fared rather badly. The boys confiscated39 most of the stuff that was brought in, promising40 to pay next time they came that way. There was a good deal of grumbling41, but the trouble always ended in the soldiers getting the plunder42.
The climax43 was reached when a putty-faced citizen drove into camp a bony mule tied with straps44 and ropes and strings45 to a crazy cart, on which was a barrel of cider, which he "allowed" to sell out to the boys at 10 cents a drink, or a quarter a canteen full. He had a spigot rigged up in one end and an old tin cup, with which he dealt out the seductive beverage46 to such as would pay.
A thirsty crowd gathered around him, but sales were slow, on account of the scarcity47 of money. Si and Shorty mingled48 with the boys, and then drew aside and engaged in a whispered consultation49.
"That'll be jest bully50!" said Shorty. "If you can raise an auger51 somewhere we'll git the bulge52 on that old chap."
Waiting for Their Clothes to Dry 187
Si returned after a brief absence, with an auger which he had borrowed from the driver of an ammunition53 wagon.
"Now, Shorty," said Si, "you git the boys to stand around and keep up a racket, and I'll crawl under the cart and bore a hole into that 'ere barrel. Then pass in yer canteens and army kettles 'n' we'll show the old man a trick!"
Shorty quietly broached54 the scheme to a few of his comrades, who fell in with it at once. Gathering55 around the cart, they cheered and chattered56 so as to drown any noise Si might make while carrying out his plan, and which would "give it away."
It was not more than a minute till a gurgling sound was heard, and Si began to pass out to the boys the buckets and canteens which they so freely furnished him, filled with the fast-flowing contents of the barrel. It didn't take long to empty it entirely57, nor did the citizen discover the state of affairs until the cider no longer ran from the spigot.
He had not sold more than a gallon or two, and he was amazed when the liquid ceased to respond. Then he resolved himself into an investigating committee, and after a protracted58 search he discovered the trick that had been played on him.
"Wall, I'll be gosh-durned!" he exclaimed. "I've hearn tell 'bout12 Yankee tricks, but dog my cats if this 'ere don't beat 'em all! I'd like to cut the gizzard outen the rascal59 that bored the hole in that bar'l!"
"I declare, old pard; that was mean!" said Si, who stood looking on, with his hands in his trousers pockets, the very picture of innocence60. "I'm jist goin' to flax 'round 'n' help ye find that feller. If I was you I'd pound the stuffin' out of him—when ye cotch him!"
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1
ration
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| n.定量(pl.)给养，口粮；vt.定量供应 | |
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kin
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| n.家族，亲属，血缘关系；adj.亲属关系的，同类的 | |
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implements
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| n.工具( implement的名词复数 )；家具；手段；[法律]履行（契约等）v.实现( implement的第三人称单数 )；执行；贯彻；使生效 | |
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4
debris
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| n.瓦砾堆，废墟，碎片 | |
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5
grumble
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| vi.抱怨；咕哝；n.抱怨，牢骚；咕哝，隆隆声 | |
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6
zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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7
creek
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| n.小溪，小河，小湾 | |
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8
wagon
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| n.四轮马车，手推车，面包车；无盖运货列车 | |
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9
confiscate
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| v.没收(私人财产)，把…充公 | |
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10
nether
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| adj.下部的，下面的；n.阴间；下层社会 | |
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11
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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12
bout
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| n.侵袭，发作；一次(阵，回)；拳击等比赛 | |
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13
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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14
rinsing
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| n.清水，残渣v.漂洗( rinse的现在分词 )；冲洗；用清水漂洗掉（肥皂泡等）；（用清水）冲掉 | |
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15
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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16
wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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17
taint
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| n.污点；感染；腐坏；v.使感染；污染 | |
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regiment
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| n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制 | |
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puff
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| n.一口(气)；一阵(风)；v.喷气，喘气 | |
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wry
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| adj.讽刺的；扭曲的 | |
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gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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brag
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| v./n.吹牛，自夸；adj.第一流的 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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actively
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| adv.积极地，勤奋地 | |
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25
alleged
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| a.被指控的，嫌疑的 | |
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opulence
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| n.财富，富裕 | |
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lank
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| adj.瘦削的；稀疏的 | |
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28
wares
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| n. 货物, 商品 | |
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vociferously
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| adv.喊叫地，吵闹地 | |
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30
joint
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| adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合 | |
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31
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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32
mule
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| n.骡子，杂种，执拗的人 | |
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asunder
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| adj.分离的，化为碎片 | |
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specimen
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| n.样本，标本 | |
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slabs
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| n.厚板，平板，厚片( slab的名词复数 )；厚胶片 | |
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sodden
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| adj.浑身湿透的；v.使浸透；使呆头呆脑 | |
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dough
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| n.生面团；钱，现款 | |
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38
pegged
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| v.用夹子或钉子固定( peg的过去式和过去分词 )；使固定在某水平 | |
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39
confiscated
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| 没收，充公( confiscate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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40
promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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41
grumbling
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| adj. 喃喃鸣不平的, 出怨言的 | |
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42
plunder
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| vt.劫掠财物，掠夺；n.劫掠物，赃物；劫掠 | |
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43
climax
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| n.顶点；高潮；v.(使)达到顶点 | |
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44
straps
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| n.带子( strap的名词复数 )；挎带；肩带；背带v.用皮带捆扎( strap的第三人称单数 )；用皮带抽打；包扎；给…打绷带 | |
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45
strings
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| n.弦 | |
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46
beverage
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| n.(水，酒等之外的)饮料 | |
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47
scarcity
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| n.缺乏，不足，萧条 | |
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48
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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49
consultation
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| n.咨询；商量；商议；会议 | |
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50
bully
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| n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮 | |
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51
auger
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| n.螺丝钻，钻孔机 | |
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52
bulge
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| n.突出，膨胀，激增；vt.突出，膨胀 | |
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53
ammunition
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| n.军火，弹药 | |
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54
broached
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| v.谈起( broach的过去式和过去分词 )；打开并开始用；用凿子扩大（或修光）；（在桶上）钻孔取液体 | |
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55
gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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56
chattered
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| （人）喋喋不休( chatter的过去式 )； 唠叨； （牙齿）打战； （机器）震颤 | |
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57
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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58
protracted
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| adj.拖延的；延长的v.拖延“protract”的过去式和过去分词 | |
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59
rascal
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| n.流氓；不诚实的人 | |
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innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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