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Chapter 10
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BEFORE dropping the curtain on my college days I must relatea little adventure which is amusing as an illustration of myreverend friend Napier's enthusiastic spontaneity. My ownshare in the farce1 is a subordinate matter.

  During the Christmas party at Holkham I had 'fallen in love,'

  as the phrase goes, with a young lady whose uncle (she hadneither father nor mother) had rented a place in theneighbourhood. At the end of his visit he invited me toshoot there the following week. For what else had I paid himassiduous attention, and listened like an angel to theinterminable history of his gout? I went; and before I left,proposed to, and was accepted by, the young lady. I wasstill at Cambridge, not of age, and had but moderate means.

  As for the maiden3, 'my face is my fortune' she might havesaid. The aunt, therefore, very properly pooh-poohed thewhole affair, and declined to entertain the possibility of anengagement; the elderly gentleman got a bad attack of gout;and every wire of communication being cut, not an obstaclewas wanting to render persistence4 the sweetest of miseries5.

  Napier was my confessor, and became as keen to circumvent6 the'old she-dragon,' so he called her, as I was. Frequent andlong were our consultations7, but they generally ended insuggestions and schemes so preposterous8, that the only resultwas an immoderate fit of laughter on both sides. At lengthit came to this (the proposition was not mine): we were tohire a post chaise and drive to the inn at G-. I was towrite a note to the young lady requesting her to meet me atsome trysting place. The note was to state that a clergymanwould accompany me, who was ready and willing to unite usthere and then in holy matrimony; that I would bring thelicence in my pocket; that after the marriage we could conferas to ways and means; and that - she could leave the REST tome.

  No enterprise was ever more merrily conceived, or moreseriously undertaken. (Please to remember that my friend wasnot so very much older than I; and, in other respects, wasquite as juvenile9.)Whatever was to come of it, the drive was worth the venture.

  The number of possible and impossible contingencies10 providedfor kept us occupied by the hour. Furnished with a well-filled luncheon11 basket, we regaled ourselves and fortifiedour courage; while our hilarity12 increased as we neared, orimagined that we neared, the climax13. Unanimously we repeatedDr. Johnson's exclamation14 in a post chaise: 'Life has notmany things better than this.'

  But where were we? Our watches told us that we had been twohours covering a distance of eleven miles.

  'Hi! Hullo! Stop!' shouted Napier. In those days posthorses were ridden, not driven; and about all we could see ofthe post boy was what Mistress Tabitha Bramble saw ofHumphrey Clinker. 'Where the dickens have we got to now?'

  'Don't know, I'm sure, sir,' says the boy; 'never was inthese 'ere parts afore.'

  'Why,' shouts the vicar, after a survey of the landscape, 'ifI can see a church by daylight, that's Blakeney steeple; andwe are only three miles from where we started.'

  Sure enough it was so. There was nothing for it but to stopat the nearest house, give the horses a rest and a feed, andmake a fresh start, - better informed as to our topography.

  It was past four on that summer afternoon when we reached ourdestination. The plan of campaign was cut and dried. Icalled for writing materials, and indicted15 my epistle asagreed upon.

  'To whom are you telling her to address the answer?' asked myaccomplice. 'We're INCOG. you know. It won't do for eitherof us to be known.'

  'Certainly not,' said I. 'What shall it be? White? Black?

  Brown? or Green?'

  'Try Browne with an E,' said he. 'The E gives anaristocratic flavour. We can't afford to risk ourrespectability.'

  The note sealed, I rang the bell for the landlord, desiredhim to send it up to the hall and tell the messenger to waitfor an answer.

  As our host was leaving the room he turned round, with hishand on the door, and said:

  'Beggin' your pardon, Mr. Cook, would you and Mr. Napeerplease to take dinner here? I've soom beatiful lamb chops,and you could have a ducklin' and some nice young peas toyour second course. The post-boy says the 'osses is prettynigh done up; but by the time - '

  'How did you know our names?' asked my companion.

  'Law sir! The post-boy, he told me. But, beggin' yourpardon, Mr. Napeer, my daughter, she lives in Holkhamwillage; and I've heard you preach afore now.'

  'Let's have the dinner by all means,' said I.

  'If the Bishop17 sequesters18 my living,' cried Napier, withsolemnity, 'I'll summon the landlord for defamation19 ofcharacter. But time's up. You must make for the boat-house,which is on the other side of the park. I'll go with you tothe head of the lake.'

  We had not gone far, when we heard the sound of anapproaching vehicle. What did we see but an open carriage,with two ladies in it, not a hundred yards behind us.

  'The aunt! by all that's - !'

  What - I never heard; for, before the sentence wascompleted, the speaker's long legs were scampering20 out ofsight in the direction of a clump21 of trees, I following ashard as I could go.

  As the carriage drove past, my Friar Lawrence was lying in aditch, while I was behind an oak. We were near enough todiscern the niece, and consequently we feared to berecognised. The situation was neither dignified22 norromantic. My friend was sanguine23, though big ardour wasslightly damped by the ditch water. I doubted the expediencyof trying the boat-house, but he urged the risk of herdisappointment, which made the attempt imperative24.

  The padre returned to the inn to dry himself, and, in duecourse, I rejoined him. He met me with the answer to mynote. 'The boat-house,' it declared, 'was out of thequestion. But so, of course, was the POSSIBILITY of CHANGE.

  We must put our trust in PROVIDENCE25. Time could make NOdifference in OUR case, whatever it might do with OTHERS.

  SHE, at any rate, could wait for YEARS.' Upon the whole theresult was comforting - especially as the 'years' dispensedwith the necessity of any immediate26 step more desperate thandinner. This we enjoyed like men who had earned it; and longbefore I deposited my dear friar in his cell both of us weresnoring in our respective corners of the chaise.

  A word or two will complete this romantic episode. The nextlong vacation I spent in London, bent27, needless to say, on ahappy issue to my engagement. How simple, in the retrospect,is the frustration28 of our hopes! I had not been a week intown, had only danced once with my FIANCEE, when, one day,taking a tennis lesson from the great Barre, a forced ballgrazed the frame of my racket, and broke a blood vessel29 in myeye.

  For five weeks I was shut up in a dark room. It was two morebefore I again met my charmer. She did not tell me, but herman did, that their wedding day was fixed30 for the 10th of thefollowing month; and he 'hoped they would have the pleasureof seeing me at the breakfast!' [I made the following noteof the fact: N.B. - A woman's tears may cost her nothing;but her smiles may be expensive.]

  I must, however, do the young lady the justice to state that,though her future husband was no great things as a 'man,' asshe afterwards discovered, he was the heir to a peerage andgreat wealth. Both he and she, like most of my collaboratorsin this world, have long since passed into the other.

  The fashions of bygone days have always an interest for theliving: the greater perhaps the less remote. We like tothink of our ancestors of two or three generations off - theheroes and heroines of Jane Austen, in their pantaloons andhigh-waisted, short-skirted frocks, their pigtails andpowdered hair, their sandalled shoes, and Hessian boots. Ournear connection with them entrances our self-esteem. Theirprim manners, their affected31 bows and courtesies, the 'dearMr. So-and-So' of the wife to her husband, the 'Sir' and'Madam' of the children to their parents, make us wonderwhether their flesh and blood were ever as warm as ours; orwhether they were a race of prigs and puppets?

  My memory carries me back to the remnants of these lostexternals - that which is lost was nothing more; the men andwomen were every whit16 as human as ourselves. My half-sisterswore turbans with birds-of-paradise in them. My mother woregigot sleeves; but objected to my father's pigtail, so cut itoff. But my father powdered his head, and kept to his knee-breeches to the last; so did all elderly gentlemen, when Iwas a boy. For the matter of that, I saw an old fellow witha pigtail walking in the Park as late as 1845. He, no doubt,was an ultra-conservative.

  Fashions change so imperceptibly that it is difficult for thehistorian to assign their initiatory32 date. Does the youngdandy of to-day want to know when white ties came into vogue33?

  - he knows that his great-grandfather wore a white neckcloth,and takes it for granted, may be, that his grandfather did sotoo. Not a bit of it. The young Englander of the Coningsbytype - the Count d'Orsays of my youth, scorned the white tiealike of their fathers and their sons. At dinner-parties orat balls, they adorned34 themselves in satin scarfs, with ajewelled pin or chained pair of pins stuck in them. I wellremember the rebellion - the protest against effeminacy -which the white tie called forth35 amongst some of us upon itsfirst invasion on evening dress. The women were in favour ofit, and, of course, carried the day; but not without astruggle. One night at Holkham - we were a large party, Idaresay at least fifty at dinner - the men came down in blackscarfs, the women in white 'chokers.' To make the contestcomplete, these all sat on one side of the table, and we menon the other. The battle was not renewed; both factionssurrendered. But the women, as usual, got their way, and -their men.

  For my part I could never endure the original whiteneckcloth. It was stiffly starched36, and wound twice roundthe neck; so I abjured37 it for the rest of my days; now andthen I got the credit of being a coxcomb38 - not for my pains,but for my comfort. Once, when dining at the Viceregal Lodgeat Dublin, I was 'pulled up' by an aide-de-camp for myunbecoming attire39; but I stuck to my colours, and was nonethe worse. Another time my offence called forth a touch ofgood nature on the part of a great man, which I hardly knowhow to speak of without writing me down an ass2. It was at acrowded party at Cambridge House. (Let me plead my youth; Iwas but two-and-twenty.) Stars and garters were scarcely adistinction. White ties were then as imperative as shoes andstockings; I was there in a black one. My candid40 friendssuggested withdrawal41, my relations cut me assiduously,strangers by my side whispered at me aloud, women turnedtheir shoulders to me; and my only prayer was that myaccursed tie would strangle me on the spot. One pair ofsharp eyes, however, noticed my ignominy, and their owner wasmoved by compassion42 for my sufferings. As I was slinkingaway, Lord Palmerston, with a BONHOMIE peculiarly his own,came up to me; and with a shake of the hand and heartymanner, asked after my brother Leicester, and when he wasgoing to bring me into Parliament? - ending with a smile:

  'Where are you off to in such a hurry?' That is the sort oftact that makes a party leader. I went to bed a proud,instead of a humiliated43, man; ready, if ever I had thechance, to vote that black was white, should he but state itwas so.

  Beards and moustache came into fashion after the Crimean war.

  It would have been an outrage44 to wear them before that time.

  When I came home from my travels across the Rocky Mountainsin 1851, I was still unshaven. Meeting my younger brother -a fashionable guardsman - in St. James's Street, heexclaimed, with horror and disgust at my barbarity, 'Isuppose you mean to cut off that thing!'

  Smoking, as indulged in now, was quite out of the questionhalf a century ago. A man would as soon have thought ofmaking a call in his dressing-gown as of strolling about theWest End with a cigar in his mouth. The first whom I eversaw smoke a cigarette at a dining-table after dinner was theKing; some forty years ago, or more perhaps. One of the manysocial benefits we owe to his present Majesty45.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 farce HhlzS     
n.闹剧,笑剧,滑稽戏;胡闹
参考例句:
  • They played a shameful role in this farce.他们在这场闹剧中扮演了可耻的角色。
  • The audience roared at the farce.闹剧使观众哄堂大笑。
2 ass qvyzK     
n.驴;傻瓜,蠢笨的人
参考例句:
  • He is not an ass as they make him.他不象大家猜想的那样笨。
  • An ass endures his burden but not more than his burden.驴能负重但不能超过它能力所负担的。
3 maiden yRpz7     
n.少女,处女;adj.未婚的,纯洁的,无经验的
参考例句:
  • The prince fell in love with a fair young maiden.王子爱上了一位年轻美丽的少女。
  • The aircraft makes its maiden flight tomorrow.这架飞机明天首航。
4 persistence hSLzh     
n.坚持,持续,存留
参考例句:
  • The persistence of a cough in his daughter puzzled him.他女儿持续的咳嗽把他难住了。
  • He achieved success through dogged persistence.他靠着坚持不懈取得了成功。
5 miseries c95fd996533633d2e276d3dd66941888     
n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 );痛苦的事;穷困;常发牢骚的人
参考例句:
  • They forgot all their fears and all their miseries in an instant. 他们马上忘记了一切恐惧和痛苦。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • I'm suffering the miseries of unemployment. 我正为失业而痛苦。 来自《简明英汉词典》
6 circumvent gXvz0     
vt.环绕,包围;对…用计取胜,智胜
参考例句:
  • Military planners tried to circumvent the treaty.军事策略家们企图绕开这一条约。
  • Any action I took to circumvent his scheme was justified.我为斗赢他的如意算盘而采取的任何行动都是正当的。
7 consultations bc61566a804b15898d05aff1e97f0341     
n.磋商(会议)( consultation的名词复数 );商讨会;协商会;查找
参考例句:
  • Consultations can be arranged at other times by appointment. 磋商可以通过预约安排在其他时间。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • Consultations are under way. 正在进行磋商。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
8 preposterous e1Tz2     
adj.荒谬的,可笑的
参考例句:
  • The whole idea was preposterous.整个想法都荒唐透顶。
  • It would be preposterous to shovel coal with a teaspoon.用茶匙铲煤是荒谬的。
9 juvenile OkEy2     
n.青少年,少年读物;adj.青少年的,幼稚的
参考例句:
  • For a grown man he acted in a very juvenile manner.身为成年人,他的行为举止显得十分幼稚。
  • Juvenile crime is increasing at a terrifying rate.青少年犯罪正在以惊人的速度增长。
10 contingencies ae3107a781f5a432c8e43398516126af     
n.偶然发生的事故,意外事故( contingency的名词复数 );以备万一
参考例句:
  • We must consider all possible contingencies. 我们必须考虑一切可能发生的事。
  • We must be prepared for all contingencies. 我们要作好各种准备,以防意外。 来自辞典例句
11 luncheon V8az4     
n.午宴,午餐,便宴
参考例句:
  • We have luncheon at twelve o'clock.我们十二点钟用午餐。
  • I have a luncheon engagement.我午饭有约。
12 hilarity 3dlxT     
n.欢乐;热闹
参考例句:
  • The announcement was greeted with much hilarity and mirth.这一项宣布引起了热烈的欢呼声。
  • Wine gives not light hilarity,but noisy merriment.酒不给人以轻松的欢乐,而给人以嚣嚷的狂欢。
13 climax yqyzc     
n.顶点;高潮;v.(使)达到顶点
参考例句:
  • The fifth scene was the climax of the play.第五场是全剧的高潮。
  • His quarrel with his father brought matters to a climax.他与他父亲的争吵使得事态发展到了顶点。
14 exclamation onBxZ     
n.感叹号,惊呼,惊叹词
参考例句:
  • He could not restrain an exclamation of approval.他禁不住喝一声采。
  • The author used three exclamation marks at the end of the last sentence to wake up the readers.作者在文章的最后一句连用了三个惊叹号,以引起读者的注意。
15 indicted 4fe8f0223a4e14ee670547b1a8076e20     
控告,起诉( indict的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • The senator was indicted for murder. 那位参议员被控犯谋杀罪。
  • He was indicted by a grand jury on two counts of murder. 他被大陪审团以两项谋杀罪名起诉。
16 whit TgXwI     
n.一点,丝毫
参考例句:
  • There's not a whit of truth in the statement.这声明里没有丝毫的真实性。
  • He did not seem a whit concerned.他看来毫不在乎。
17 bishop AtNzd     
n.主教,(国际象棋)象
参考例句:
  • He was a bishop who was held in reverence by all.他是一位被大家都尊敬的主教。
  • Two years after his death the bishop was canonised.主教逝世两年后被正式封为圣者。
18 sequesters 0abb68b75eb6cf28d1e76f4a50adf20c     
v.使隔绝,使隔离( sequester的第三人称单数 );扣押
参考例句:
  • The dentist sequesters the tooth he is working on. 牙科医生把他正研究的牙齿隔开了。 来自互联网
19 defamation FY3zV     
n.诽谤;中伤
参考例句:
  • Character defamation can be either oral or written.人格诽谤既可以是口头的也可以是书面的。
  • The company sued for defamation.这个公司因受到诽谤而提起诉讼。
20 scampering 5c15380619b12657635e8413f54db650     
v.蹦蹦跳跳地跑,惊惶奔跑( scamper的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • A cat miaowed, then was heard scampering away. 马上起了猫叫,接着又听见猫逃走的声音。 来自汉英文学 - 家(1-26) - 家(1-26)
  • A grey squirrel is scampering from limb to limb. 一只灰色的松鼠在树枝间跳来跳去。 来自辞典例句
21 clump xXfzH     
n.树丛,草丛;vi.用沉重的脚步行走
参考例句:
  • A stream meandered gently through a clump of trees.一条小溪从树丛中蜿蜒穿过。
  • It was as if he had hacked with his thick boots at a clump of bluebells.仿佛他用自己的厚靴子无情地践踏了一丛野风信子。
22 dignified NuZzfb     
a.可敬的,高贵的
参考例句:
  • Throughout his trial he maintained a dignified silence. 在整个审讯过程中,他始终沉默以保持尊严。
  • He always strikes such a dignified pose before his girlfriend. 他总是在女友面前摆出这种庄严的姿态。
23 sanguine dCOzF     
adj.充满希望的,乐观的,血红色的
参考例句:
  • He has a sanguine attitude to life.他对于人生有乐观的看法。
  • He is not very sanguine about our chances of success.他对我们成功的机会不太乐观。
24 imperative BcdzC     
n.命令,需要;规则;祈使语气;adj.强制的;紧急的
参考例句:
  • He always speaks in an imperative tone of voice.他老是用命令的口吻讲话。
  • The events of the past few days make it imperative for her to act.过去这几天发生的事迫使她不得不立即行动。
25 providence 8tdyh     
n.深谋远虑,天道,天意;远见;节约;上帝
参考例句:
  • It is tempting Providence to go in that old boat.乘那艘旧船前往是冒大险。
  • To act as you have done is to fly in the face of Providence.照你的所作所为那样去行事,是违背上帝的意志的。
26 immediate aapxh     
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的
参考例句:
  • His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。
  • We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。
27 bent QQ8yD     
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的
参考例句:
  • He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
  • We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。
28 frustration 4hTxj     
n.挫折,失败,失效,落空
参考例句:
  • He had to fight back tears of frustration.他不得不强忍住失意的泪水。
  • He beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.他沮丧地用手打了几下方向盘。
29 vessel 4L1zi     
n.船舶;容器,器皿;管,导管,血管
参考例句:
  • The vessel is fully loaded with cargo for Shanghai.这艘船满载货物驶往上海。
  • You should put the water into a vessel.你应该把水装入容器中。
30 fixed JsKzzj     
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的
参考例句:
  • Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗?
  • Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定,我们就不应该随意改变。
31 affected TzUzg0     
adj.不自然的,假装的
参考例句:
  • She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
  • His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。
32 initiatory 9fbf23a909e1c077400b40a6d4d07b12     
adj.开始的;创始的;入会的;入社的
参考例句:
  • Conclusion Chemokine MCP-1 might play an initiatory role in the course of EAN. 结论MCP-1可能对EAN发病起始动作用。 来自互联网
  • It was an initiatory 'mystery religion, ' passed from initiate to initiate, like the Eleusinian Mysteries. 它是一个入会的“神秘宗教”,经历了由传授到传授,就像古代希腊Eleusis市的神秘主义。 来自互联网
33 Vogue 6hMwC     
n.时髦,时尚;adj.流行的
参考例句:
  • Flowery carpets became the vogue.花卉地毯变成了时髦货。
  • Short hair came back into vogue about ten years ago.大约十年前短发又开始流行起来了。
34 adorned 1e50de930eb057fcf0ac85ca485114c8     
[计]被修饰的
参考例句:
  • The walls were adorned with paintings. 墙上装饰了绘画。
  • And his coat was adorned with a flamboyant bunch of flowers. 他的外套上面装饰着一束艳丽刺目的鲜花。
35 forth Hzdz2     
adv.向前;向外,往外
参考例句:
  • The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
  • He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。
36 starched 1adcdf50723145c17c3fb6015bbe818c     
adj.浆硬的,硬挺的,拘泥刻板的v.把(衣服、床单等)浆一浆( starch的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • My clothes are not starched enough. 我的衣服浆得不够硬。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • The ruffles on his white shirt were starched and clean. 白衬衫的褶边浆过了,很干净。 来自辞典例句
37 abjured 9fb3f4c7198ec875cb05d42e6e5d1807     
v.发誓放弃( abjure的过去式和过去分词 );郑重放弃(意见);宣布撤回(声明等);避免
参考例句:
  • She abjured her beliefs. 她放弃了她的信仰。 来自互联网
  • TAe man abjured his religion. 那个人发誓放弃他的宗教信仰。 来自互联网
38 coxcomb kvqz6L     
n.花花公子
参考例句:
  • Jones was not so vain and senseless a coxcomb as to expect.琼斯并不是那么一个不自量,没头没脑的浪荡哥儿。
  • He is a plausible coxcomb.他是个巧言令色的花花公子。
39 attire AN0zA     
v.穿衣,装扮[同]array;n.衣着;盛装
参考例句:
  • He had no intention of changing his mode of attire.他无意改变着装方式。
  • Her attention was attracted by his peculiar attire.他那奇特的服装引起了她的注意。
40 candid SsRzS     
adj.公正的,正直的;坦率的
参考例句:
  • I cannot but hope the candid reader will give some allowance for it.我只有希望公正的读者多少包涵一些。
  • He is quite candid with his friends.他对朋友相当坦诚。
41 withdrawal Cfhwq     
n.取回,提款;撤退,撤军;收回,撤销
参考例句:
  • The police were forced to make a tactical withdrawal.警方被迫进行战术撤退。
  • They insisted upon a withdrawal of the statement and a public apology.他们坚持要收回那些话并公开道歉。
42 compassion 3q2zZ     
n.同情,怜悯
参考例句:
  • He could not help having compassion for the poor creature.他情不自禁地怜悯起那个可怜的人来。
  • Her heart was filled with compassion for the motherless children.她对于没有母亲的孩子们充满了怜悯心。
43 humiliated 97211aab9c3dcd4f7c74e1101d555362     
感到羞愧的
参考例句:
  • Parents are humiliated if their children behave badly when guests are present. 子女在客人面前举止失当,父母也失体面。
  • He was ashamed and bitterly humiliated. 他感到羞耻,丢尽了面子。
44 outrage hvOyI     
n.暴行,侮辱,愤怒;vt.凌辱,激怒
参考例句:
  • When he heard the news he reacted with a sense of outrage.他得悉此事时义愤填膺。
  • We should never forget the outrage committed by the Japanese invaders.我们永远都不应该忘记日本侵略者犯下的暴行。
45 majesty MAExL     
n.雄伟,壮丽,庄严,威严;最高权威,王权
参考例句:
  • The king had unspeakable majesty.国王有无法形容的威严。
  • Your Majesty must make up your mind quickly!尊贵的陛下,您必须赶快做出决定!


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