"I was hoping that I'd see you again to-night," she began, in an even tone. "I've just been to see my poor boys. Martin has a cold and I am giving him some medicine for it. I wanted to make a confession8 to you before I went to sleep to-night. I took the liberty of telling them something which you may not want them to know."
"About you and Frazier?" he ventured.
"No, no!" she answered, with a near approach to the sweet tone which she had used on the veranda9. "Have you held that thought all by yourself here on the lawn? Was it that which made you stand like a post as I passed just now? No, I did not mention his name. They don't like him. They don't want me to—to—I sha'n't use the word. I think that is why you are so gloomy to-night—I mean because I said I was still at his mercy. This is what I told the boys. I could not help it. I could not keep it back. They won't tell, anyway. They promised, and do you know they would not displease10 you for anything; they admire you intensely. I told them who it was that sent Tobe Keith that money. I was partly guessing, but I told them that you sent it, too, by the friend who came here to see you and caused them such a fright."
Charles could find no words with which to answer; he heard her laugh softly as she stepped close to him and put her hand to his lapel and held it as she might have done were she pinning a flower upon it.
"Your good deeds tie your tongue," she said, "but you can't lie. You would lie out of this if you could. You tried to hide that act of goodness by what really was a sly trick, but I saw through it. I saw through it because I wanted it to be that way."
He caught her hand and held it, telling himself that it was a brief offense11 surely when he had made up his mind to give her up forever. But, oh, how it throbbed12 and pleaded in his clasp! Each little finger seemed to have a soul of its own. He dared not look into her eyes. Their drooping13 lashes14 seemed breakable bars between him and a life of eternal bliss15.
"Are you angry because I told them?" she asked.
"Not if it pleased you," he said, passionately16. "That is all I live for—to please you."
"Do you mean it? Do you mean it, Charlie?" and she pressed his fingers—his calloused17 fingers—in her soft ones. She raised her face to his. "Oh, I know you do, but I am dying to hear you say so."
He nodded. He took a deep, quivering breath and slowly exhaled18 it; she felt him trembling; his face was grim and pale.
"I have no right," he said, "to talk to you this way—to allow you to—to talk to me in a way that would be impossible if you knew my whole history." He was speaking now as a man might just before the black cap was placed over his face. "I ought not to have come here to your father's house without—without telling him and you the full truth. I am a fugitive19 from the law. I can say that much without breaking my word to others. At any moment I may be caught and imprisoned20. In that case your family would be mentioned as harboring me, and I had no right to let you unsuspectingly run that risk."
"You—you a fugitive from the law?" Mary cried. "You!"
He released her hand and mutely nodded. He kept his eyes now on the ground.
With a motion as swift as the flight of a hummingbird21 she caught his hand. She held it against her breast and forced his eyes to rise to hers. "I won't believe it! I won't! I won't! I won't! God will not let that be true, Charlie. You've come into my tormented22 life like a sweet dream of everything that is good and noble. You can't make me believe it. You have reasons for deceiving me. What they are I don't know, but what you say is not true. It would kill me to believe it. When Albert Frazier mentioned it I knew that it was too absurd to think about."
"Well, he was wrong about that," said Charles, seeing her drift. "There were certain men in the circus who left about the time I did, and there were warrants out for their arrest. I was not one of them. I left for fear that certain questions regarding my identity might be put to me that I could not answer, and for the additional reason that I was sick of the life I was leading. The—the offense with which I am charged dates further back. I did not think that I'd ever have to tell you these things, but I find that I must. I am not a safe man for you to know—certainly not a man worthy23 of—of the things you have said to-night. This living here and helping24 you a little has been like heaven to me, but it can't go on. I am a misfit in life. I am an outcast for all time. You may be holding a sort of ideal of me—women in their deep purity will do those things sometimes—but I must undeceive you. You must see me as I really am. I was a drunkard, a gambler—disgraced in the town I lived in, expelled from the clubs I belonged to, found guilty in court; I came away to hide myself from the eyes of all who knew me. The new life has changed me to some extent. I see things differently. I think I have a keener moral sense. Adversity seems to have awakened25 it in me, but Fate is punishing me severely26, for the consequences of my past, it will always—always stand between me and the things I now want."
Mary still clung to his hand. Through his desperate recital27 she had looked steadfastly28 into his eyes. "I don't care what you have been," she said, under her breath. "It is what you are now that counts with me. The greatest men and the best in history have made mistakes when they were young. It is for you to judge whether—whether we can ever be anything more to each other than we are now. I don't think it amounts to much which it is, if only we love each other. That is the main thing. I don't know how you feel, but I can never love any other man—never!"
He lowered his head, but she saw that his eyes were ablaze29.
"I think"—he was speaking now very earnestly, very despondently—"that I shall leave you as soon as my summer's work is over—that is, if you are out of your trouble by then. I could not go while you are so unhappy. I couldn't stand that."
"Oh, you mustn't go!" she sobbed30, pressing the back of his hand to her wet eyes. "Why need you go?"
"Because the longer I stay the worse it will be for both of us, and I am afraid that my presence here will be discovered. I am using my own name. I never threw it off. I must not be taken here. There are a thousand reasons why I should avoid a chance of that. You are the main one."
"Yes, that would kill me," she asserted. Almost unconsciously she kissed his hand, she fondled it as a mother might that of a dying child. "I couldn't live after that." Suddenly, and after a pause, she fixed31 her eyes on his face again. "I want you to do something for me," she faltered32.
"What is it?" he asked.
"I don't want you to tell father or my brothers what you have told me to-night."
"Why?" he wondered.
"Because they would misunderstand it all. They don't know you as I do, and I could not bear to have them misjudge you. You may have broken the law, but you said you were once in the habit of drinking too much. I am sure that if you did wrong you really were not conscious of what you were doing. No man with your nobility of character could do wrong knowingly. It is not in you and never was. Don't tell my father and brothers. Will you?"
"If you don't want me to do so, I shall not," he promised. "I only wished you to understand my situation and be on your guard. It may be that a man's adoration33 of a woman may stir her sympathy and even cause her to imagine that she reciprocates34 his feeling, and you must have known how I felt about—"
"Yes," she interrupted, "I know. That night in the cabin—oh, that night! I've kissed its memory a thousand times. That night I saw love born in your eyes and I knew that for you no other girl existed. Is it any wonder that I loved you when I saw how humbly36 and unselfishly you were striving to save me from pain? Imagine that I reciprocate35, indeed! There is no imagination about my feeling for you, Charlie. This morning, when I discovered who it was that had sent that money to Tobe Keith, and knew that you were trying to keep me from discovering that you did it, I was so happy that I could not speak. In my mind I saw you stealing out of the house at night, meeting your friend at the hotel, and his slipping up to that cottage door while you remained hidden from view. Is it any wonder that I gloated in triumph over the fact that it was you who did the act of mercy rather than Albert Frazier? Is it any wonder that when he kissed me—It was just on the cheek, my darling, just here and it was as cold as ice. Kiss me, Charlie, kiss me—kiss me." Her face was raised to his, her lips were poised37 expectantly.
A storm of doubt swept over him, and then he clasped her in his arms and pressed his lips to hers.
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
standing
|
|
| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
mere
|
|
| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
platitudes
|
|
| n.平常的话，老生常谈，陈词滥调( platitude的名词复数 )；滥套子 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
plight
|
|
| n.困境，境况，誓约，艰难；vt.宣誓，保证，约定 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
besieged
|
|
| 包围，围困，围攻( besiege的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
vow
|
|
| n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
ascending
|
|
| adj.上升的，向上的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
confession
|
|
| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
veranda
|
|
| n.走廊；阳台 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
displease
|
|
| vt.使不高兴，惹怒；n.不悦，不满，生气 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
offense
|
|
| n.犯规，违法行为；冒犯，得罪 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
throbbed
|
|
| 抽痛( throb的过去式和过去分词 )； （心脏、脉搏等）跳动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
drooping
|
|
| adj. 下垂的，无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
lashes
|
|
| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
bliss
|
|
| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
passionately
|
|
| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
calloused
|
|
| adj.粗糙的，粗硬的，起老茧的v.（使）硬结，（使）起茧( callous的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）冷酷无情 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
exhaled
|
|
| v.呼出，发散出( exhale的过去式和过去分词 )；吐出（肺中的空气、烟等），呼气 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
fugitive
|
|
| adj.逃亡的，易逝的；n.逃犯，逃亡者 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
imprisoned
|
|
| 下狱，监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
hummingbird
|
|
| n.蜂鸟 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
tormented
|
|
| 饱受折磨的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
worthy
|
|
| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
helping
|
|
| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
awakened
|
|
| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
severely
|
|
| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
recital
|
|
| n.朗诵，独奏会，独唱会 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
steadfastly
|
|
| adv.踏实地，不变地；岿然；坚定不渝 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
ablaze
|
|
| adj.着火的，燃烧的；闪耀的，灯火辉煌的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
sobbed
|
|
| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
fixed
|
|
| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
faltered
|
|
| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
adoration
|
|
| n.爱慕，崇拜 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
reciprocates
|
|
| n.报答，酬答( reciprocate的名词复数 )；（机器的部件）直线往复运动v.报答，酬答( reciprocate的第三人称单数 )；（机器的部件）直线往复运动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
reciprocate
|
|
| v.往复运动；互换；回报，酬答 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
humbly
|
|
| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
poised
|
|
| a.摆好姿势不动的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |