William nodded. He could not find his voice. He was glad that his uncle's enthusiastic face was bent6 over his writing.
"And don't think I am not realizing that I'm no longer young, either," the steady voice went on. "I'm not a silly fool. I sha'n't claim more than ten years more of life, at the furthest, and what do you think I expect to do with my effects? You saw the little item in The Transcript7 the other day, stating that I might make a big donation to several charitable institutions? I know you must have seen it. Well, nothing could be farther from my intentions. I am going to leave all I have to a young fellow that I think had a pretty hard time of it. Of course, you don't know who I mean, Billy. I didn't think I'd ever want to provide for any particular person, but when I got back from Europe and saw you haggard and unstrung, putting up practically all you had in the world to pull our name from the mire—well, it changed me on the spot. You see, it was a quality I didn't think a man could have, and I'd found it in you."
"Wait! Stop, please!" William gulped8. "I—I—"
"Too modest, eh?" the old man laughed. "Now you keep quiet. I am holding the floor, and the chairman says you are out of order. Huh! if you are too modest to want this for yourself, think of your wife and child. I've grown to love them as if they were child and grandchild of my own. I want to see them happy, and when I make them so you will be, too, Billy, in spite of the rascally9 thing that has been done to you. You shall be president of the bank; you shall run the whole thing, and I'll sit back and take life easy to the end. Do you know that old men enjoy life more than the young? Well, it is true. Aside from the bad conduct of your brother—the lasting10 sting of it—there is nothing in my life to regret. I am actually happy in the realization11 that I am doing so much for the happiness of you and yours—and mine. Yes, they are mine, too."
There was a pause, but William was unable to fill it. He reached out and took one of the cigars from the table; he struck a match and lighted it, but it burnt for an instant only. The old man was looking at him steadily12. "You are not well to-night, are you, Billy?" he asked, in a sudden swirl13 of affectionate concern.
"No, not very," William heard himself saying. "I—I—"
"Well, perhaps you'd better turn in," his uncle suggested. "This is your day of rest, you know. Later I'll give you the details of what I am going to do for you."
"Uncle," said William, desperately14, standing15 up and leaning forward like a storm-blown human reed, "I am unworthy, absolutely unworthy of—"
"Bosh! Go to bed!" the old man cried, in an ecstasy16 of delight. "I'm to be the judge of worthiness17 in this case. It is a scarce commodity these days, and when I see a man actually trying to stave off his just rewards—why, he is a miracle, that's all—a miracle of unselfishness! Stupid, think of that bonny child of yours! Don't you want to see her take her proper place in the social world? What have you lived and toiled18 for? I'll bet Lessie won't treat this thing as you do. I'll bet she will kiss her old uncle, and—"
William lost the remainder of the remark. A sudden sense of respite19 brooded over him like a protecting cloud. Had he the right now to step between his wife and child and such a princely inheritance? In the face of it would Lessie herself not feel impelled20 to take a different stand? What normal mother would not? To disillusion21 the old idealist now would ruin the chances of a good woman and a helpless child. Yes, at any rate, he told himself, he must see Celeste and lay the matter in its new form before her.
"Well, I'll go up," he said, as casually22 as was in his depleted23 power. "I'll see you at breakfast. I—I am rather tired."
"Yes. Good night, my boy. Sleep will do you good."
Somehow William had the odd sense of being bodiless as he ascended24 the stairs. As he approached his wife's room he saw the handle of her door move, and then he knew that she was standing waiting for him just inside the room. They faced each other in the deflected25 flare26 of the street lamp. She reached out and took his hands and clung to them.
"I've been listening. I expected a scene, a commotion27, but I heard nothing of the sort," she whispered. "It must have simply stunned28 him. The blow was too deep even to stir his fury."
William pressed her hands convulsively, appealingly. He put an arm around her, a shaking, half-palsied arm.
"Lessie," he panted, raspingly. "I found out down there—Wait, wait! Give me time." He cleared his throat. "I found out—It was like this, darling. You know how rapidly he talks at times? Well, he wouldn't give me a chance to break in; and finally he told me something that made me—forced me to feel that if you had been there—I mean—"
"What? Go on! Go on!" Celeste breathed quickly.
"He was in a jolly mood. He spoke29 more freely than ever before. He let out the fact that he is worth several millions and that he intends to leave it all to us—I mean to you and Ruth. He has no idea of donating anything to charity, but all to you two. So you see—you see, it put me where I simply had to—to lay it before you. It strikes me as a reasonable idea that with all that money at your disposal you could—why, Lessie, you could make Charlie rich, and surely you cannot stand between our child and all that good fortune. Don't you see, dear? The truth would so infuriate uncle that he would—would drop us all—you, me, Ruth, Charlie—everybody! Old men are like that; they can't seem to recuperate30 after such a blow. I didn't tell him. I confess I didn't even mention it, for it was my duty to—to show you how matters stand. I'd not be a natural husband and father if—if I had acted otherwise. We have got in this awful mess. How are we going to get out? Remember, dear, I was trying to earn money for you and the baby when it happened, so how can I bear to—to think of going to jail and leaving you penniless? He would be mad enough to send me to jail, dear; he is just that vindictive31, and he would not take care of you two, either. You don't seem to realize that it would make him the laughing-stock of the public, and he so sensitive and hot-tempered. You see, I have forced him to be my active accomplice32 in covering it all up, and he would have to remain silent or turn me over to the authorities. Oh, it is awful—awful! He puts such a high and unjust value on me that when he finds he has been fooled he will—why, he won't know how to control himself! It would be like him to leave the house to-night—this very night—and go to a hotel, where he would chatter33 even to the bell-boys. Think of Ruth—if not of me; have pity on that sweet, inoffensive child."
"Oh, but Charlie! Charlie!" Celeste found voice to say.
"But don't you remember that Charlie himself proposed going away? Why, he was down and out—sick of Boston and everything in it. He said he never wanted to come back or to be heard of again. That was to save me—just me—from—from trouble. Is it likely that he would be willing to have me—to have any of us take a step like this now? How do you know that—that he'd like to—to have his old life raked up again? He is evidently playing a part of some sort. Have we the right, without consulting him, to have all this put in the papers and flashed from end to end of the country?"
Celeste stood like a statue, cold and motionless, in his half-embrace. The dim light disclosed her marble cheek to his sight. Her wide-open eyes caught the flare from the street lamp and gave it back in gleams of indecision.
"You say he spoke of Ruth's inheritance?" she gasped34.
"More of her than you or me," said William, grasping at the straw. "He fairly dotes on her. But don't think he would stand by her if—if we anger him by this exposure. He would hate us all, Ruth along with us. In a burst of fury he would cut us all out. Oh, I know him, Lessie," went on William, imbibing35 hope from the dead stare turned on him. "I have been right at his elbow for over a year. He has given me his innermost thoughts."
"I know," Celeste whispered. "I've noticed it, and knew why it was. He looked upon you as a paragon36 of nobility because you—because he thought you were sacrificing so much to atone37 for Charlie's conduct. He told me once that it had given him a new faith in men—that he had not thought such a thing possible. But that was wrong—cursed of God. It was hypocrisy38 as black as the lowest vats40 of hell. And I helped you in it. I feared all along that my intuition was telling me the truth, but because I didn't know where Charlie was, because I thought he might be dead, I kept silent. But, husband, it is different now—oh—oh! so different! God has sent us this trial. Charlie's life and happiness are at stake. If we are untrue he will bear the burden meant for us. God knows he has suffered enough for his boyish escapades—that has been proved by his throwing off his old habits and becoming a clean, decent, and ambitious man. He loves and is loved, and yet he is regarded as little more than a tramp by the people around him. William, I am weak, wavering, and all but dying under this. What am I to do?"
He put both his hands on her shoulders, turned her face directly to his, and went on, reassuringly41: "Go to bed, darling. Let it be as it is. Remember I gave promise to Charlie not to follow him up. He was to be free forever. Go to bed, dear. This is a tempest in a teapot. You are all wrought42 up and nervous. You'd never forgive yourself for stepping in between our child and her rightful inheritance. Think of that. How would you like to be treated that way just to satisfy some one else's finical qualms43 as to right and wrong?"
She allowed him to push her toward her bed, and for no obvious reason other than physical weakness she sat upon it, her staring eyes still fixed44 upon his insistent45 face. He thought his case was won. He bent and kissed her on the cheek. He tried to raise her chin that his lips might put the seal of frailty46 upon hers, but she resisted him firmly, inexorably. This gave him pause. All the terrors of his moribund47 being gathered, screaming and threatening, from the nooks and crannies into which they had but temporarily fled.
"Don't you—can't you see it as—as I do?" he pleaded, still trying to lift her chin, and realizing his defeat even in that small failure.
"No!" That was all she said, but it was more than enough.
He stood away from her. Indescribable contingencies48 now waxing into grim certainties hurtled about him—exposure, a felon's cell, the visible hatred49 of the man who had so completely trusted him.
"No!" Celeste repeated, firmly. "There can be only one course to take, and that is the right one—right if it kills us all. You can't tell him. I must do it. He is still down there."
"Is this final?"
"Yes, final," she said, and stood up. He made a movement as if to stop her; it ended by his dropping his limp arms to his sides. His lips moved, but produced no sound. She left the room first, and he followed. Together they leaned over the balustrade and peered at the light below. Then she drew herself erect50 and started down the stairs. He watched her till she was half-way down, then turned into his room.
She reached the library door. She saw the old man still bent over his calculations, a glow of satisfaction on his pink face. She heard him chuckle2. No doubt he was thinking of Ruth's good fortune. She was about to enter when a grim thought suddenly clutched her as if in a vise. How strangely William had acted as they were parting up-stairs! Once before he had started to end his life. Would he be so desperate now? Why not? The crisis was even greater. She turned quickly, and, holding her breath, she darted51 back up the stairs and tiptoed into William's room. He was standing at his bureau. She heard a hard substance strike against one of the smaller drawers as he turned to face her. Darting52 to him, she grasped his arm and slid her fingers down to the revolver he was clutching.
"Oh, you wouldn't do that—would you, dear?" she panted, as she wrung53 the weapon from his grasp.
His silence was his answer. He stepped back from her. He had steeled himself for the supreme54 shock of death. How could he summon mere55 words at this ultimate moment?
"I see, I see!" she moaned, and she was sure now that she loved him in his weakness as a mother might love her child that was blind, crippled, and in unending pain. She put the weapon into the bosom56 of her dress, and, with her hands outstretched, she cried: "I didn't tell him, darling. I hurried back to you when I thought—thought—thought of this. Something else must be done. Charlie wouldn't be willing to murder you. It was to prevent this that he went away."
Her hands were around his neck. He was still under the chill spell of the ordeal57 he had faced. She drew his head down and kissed him again and again on the lips, as if to restore life's breath to him.
"Yes, something else—but not this" she ran on. "We'll see—we'll see, sweetheart. If Charlie were here he'd stop you—he would—he would, and so must I. I see, you couldn't face it all, could you, dear? I ought to have thought of that sooner. Some one has said that God never puts more on us than we can bear, and that is why He turned me back to you when He did. Now, now, we can go to sleep, can't we, darling boy?"
"Oh, it was wonderful—glorious—ecstatic!" he muttered as if to himself, his blank stare fixed on the space beyond her. "I was afraid—afraid—afraid as I put my hand in the drawer and felt it like the icy foot of a corpse58; but when I had hold of it—"
"What are you saying, darling?" Celeste asked, fearfully.
"I'll never invest in stocks again. Down, down, down, and the money not my own. I'll be caught. I can't hide it. The examiners will come and look me in the eye, and—"
"Oh, what is it, dear?" Celeste moaned, and, catching59 his arm, she shook him.
"When I had hold of it," he wandered on, vacantly, "something said—out of the very darkness down where he and my wife were settling my fate—something said: 'Don't be afraid—it is nothing. It will be only a pinprick and you'll be free.' And I was free. I saw—I saw—I heard—I heard—I felt—yes, that is it, I felt as a man feels when he is said to be dead and no living soul knows of the great change but himself."
"Oh, William darling, you are ill—you are—"
"Good boy, Charlie! Bully60 boy, my brother! You were true as steel—you knew it had gone down, down, down to the bottom of hell itself and so you ran away. But I was left with it, brother mine. I was in a vat39 filled with black, smirking61 imps62. Every day I fought with them, every night. But I'm glad now. Are you dead, too? Is that light, or is it— Who ever heard of light and music being the same thing? It is even more than that, eh, Charlie? It is language—the cosmic speech of the universe, and we are in a sea of eternal bliss63."
Celeste, wordless now, took his face between her trembling hands and tried to turn it toward her own, but it was immovable. He was chuckling64, laughing, his eyes still fixed on space. Dropping her hands, Celeste ran to the head of the stairs, and, like a hysterical65 woman giving an alarm of fire, she called out:
"Oh, uncle—come quickly! Quick! Quick!"
"What is it? What is it?" he exclaimed, as he darted from the library and plunged66 up the stairs.
"Quick! Quick!" she cried back, and vanished from his view. He found her standing over her husband, who was now seated on his bed. Hearing his step, William uttered a low, chuckling laugh, and, staring at him, said:
"Here you are again, Charlie. I missed you. That cloud—that dazzling white cloud—seemed to come between us. I ran back to see Ruth and Lessie. Ruth was asleep, and when children are asleep they ride on the clouds—so a spirit told me. But Lessie was awake, standing over, over it—you know what I mean, over the body that held me so long. Oh, I wish she would hide it! Uncle was there, too, Charlie boy. Never could make the old doubter understand this, eh, Charlie? At first it was strange to us, too, eh? Wonderful, wonderful! I hear my old leathery tongue trying to describe it now. How funny!"
"William, what is the matter?" the old man asked, bending over him.
William looked at him closely; he put his hand on his shoulder and went on, chuckling: "Oh, I see it is you, uncle. I want to tell you. You needn't be afraid of dying, as I was all my life. I held it right over my heart and pulled the trigger. There was a flash, a little, tiny tickling67 sting, and then Charlie and I—I'll never invest in stocks again. It seemed very easy to pile up all that for Lessie and the baby. Down, down, down—Every morning at breakfast I faced them with those figures on my brain like the slimy tracks of coffin68 snails69. Down, down to doom70! to doom—that's it, to my doom!"
The old man stood erect. He moved to a window. His niece followed him like a praying shadow. Their eyes met.
"I am the cause of it," she said. "I tried to force him to confess to you that he was to blame, and not Charlie. He tried to use this," taking the revolver from her bosom, "while I went down to tell you."
"He, and not Charlie!" the old man exclaimed, with a fixed stare.
"Say what you like, do what you like," she said, harshly, fiercely, recklessly, her white lip curled in a sneer71. "He said you would put him in jail. I wonder if you will—I wonder. I would give my life for him. We don't want your money—understand that. What living man has not sinned? and he did it for love. Don't you dare to accuse—abuse him. He is down now and dying, perhaps."
With his eyes on the bent form on the bed, the old man seemed not to hear her. "Oh, my God, this is awful—awful!" he said, under his breath. "Well, there is but one thing to do."
Turning, he suddenly left the room. There was a telephone in the hallway, just outside the door, and he went to it. He took up the directory and then turned on the electric light. His hands shook as he fumbled72 the pages. The book fell to the floor. He picked it up. His old face seemed withered73 like crinkled parchment.
"I can't find it!" he groaned74. "My God! have mercy! It is awful—awful!"
Celeste was at his side. Like an infuriated tigress defending her young, she glared into his face, and all but snarled75: "Do it, do it, if you dare—and we'll hate you, despise you, curse your name! I'll teach Ruth to spit on your grave."
"Lessie, Lessie, my child—my poor child! Do you object to my—"
"Object? Would you send him to jail when his reason is wrecked76 through fear of you—when he is dying?"
"Why, Lessie, Lessie, darling child, did you think that? Why, I am telephoning for the doctor, that is all. I love William and pity him as much as you do. We must save him, child, we must save him!"
点击收听单词发音
1 chuckled | |
轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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2 chuckle | |
vi./n.轻声笑,咯咯笑 | |
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3 trifling | |
adj.微不足道的;没什么价值的 | |
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4 shoveled | |
vt.铲,铲出(shovel的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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5 bin | |
n.箱柜;vt.放入箱内;[计算机] DOS文件名:二进制目标文件 | |
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6 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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7 transcript | |
n.抄本,誊本,副本,肄业证书 | |
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8 gulped | |
v.狼吞虎咽地吃,吞咽( gulp的过去式和过去分词 );大口地吸(气);哽住 | |
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9 rascally | |
adj. 无赖的,恶棍的 adv. 无赖地,卑鄙地 | |
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10 lasting | |
adj.永久的,永恒的;vbl.持续,维持 | |
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11 realization | |
n.实现;认识到,深刻了解 | |
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12 steadily | |
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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13 swirl | |
v.(使)打漩,(使)涡卷;n.漩涡,螺旋形 | |
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14 desperately | |
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地 | |
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15 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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16 ecstasy | |
n.狂喜,心醉神怡,入迷 | |
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17 worthiness | |
价值,值得 | |
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18 toiled | |
长时间或辛苦地工作( toil的过去式和过去分词 ); 艰难缓慢地移动,跋涉 | |
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19 respite | |
n.休息,中止,暂缓 | |
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20 impelled | |
v.推动、推进或敦促某人做某事( impel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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21 disillusion | |
vt.使不再抱幻想,使理想破灭 | |
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22 casually | |
adv.漠不关心地,无动于衷地,不负责任地 | |
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23 depleted | |
adj. 枯竭的, 废弃的 动词deplete的过去式和过去分词 | |
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24 ascended | |
v.上升,攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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25 deflected | |
偏离的 | |
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26 flare | |
v.闪耀,闪烁;n.潮红;突发 | |
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27 commotion | |
n.骚动,动乱 | |
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28 stunned | |
adj. 震惊的,惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
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29 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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30 recuperate | |
v.恢复 | |
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31 vindictive | |
adj.有报仇心的,怀恨的,惩罚的 | |
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32 accomplice | |
n.从犯,帮凶,同谋 | |
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33 chatter | |
vi./n.喋喋不休;短促尖叫;(牙齿)打战 | |
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34 gasped | |
v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 );喘息;倒抽气;很想要 | |
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35 imbibing | |
v.吸收( imbibe的现在分词 );喝;吸取;吸气 | |
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36 paragon | |
n.模范,典型 | |
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37 atone | |
v.赎罪,补偿 | |
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38 hypocrisy | |
n.伪善,虚伪 | |
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39 vat | |
n.(=value added tax)增值税,大桶 | |
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40 vats | |
varieties 变化,多样性,种类 | |
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41 reassuringly | |
ad.安心,可靠 | |
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42 wrought | |
v.引起;以…原料制作;运转;adj.制造的 | |
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43 qualms | |
n.不安;内疚 | |
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44 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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45 insistent | |
adj.迫切的,坚持的 | |
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46 frailty | |
n.脆弱;意志薄弱 | |
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47 moribund | |
adj.即将结束的,垂死的 | |
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48 contingencies | |
n.偶然发生的事故,意外事故( contingency的名词复数 );以备万一 | |
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49 hatred | |
n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨 | |
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50 erect | |
n./v.树立,建立,使竖立;adj.直立的,垂直的 | |
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51 darted | |
v.投掷,投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 );向前冲,飞奔 | |
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52 darting | |
v.投掷,投射( dart的现在分词 );向前冲,飞奔 | |
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53 wrung | |
绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 ); 握紧(尤指别人的手); 把(湿衣服)拧干; 绞掉(水) | |
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54 supreme | |
adj.极度的,最重要的;至高的,最高的 | |
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55 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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56 bosom | |
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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57 ordeal | |
n.苦难经历,(尤指对品格、耐力的)严峻考验 | |
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58 corpse | |
n.尸体,死尸 | |
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59 catching | |
adj.易传染的,有魅力的,迷人的,接住 | |
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60 bully | |
n.恃强欺弱者,小流氓;vt.威胁,欺侮 | |
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61 smirking | |
v.傻笑( smirk的现在分词 ) | |
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62 imps | |
n.(故事中的)小恶魔( imp的名词复数 );小魔鬼;小淘气;顽童 | |
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63 bliss | |
n.狂喜,福佑,天赐的福 | |
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64 chuckling | |
轻声地笑( chuckle的现在分词 ) | |
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65 hysterical | |
adj.情绪异常激动的,歇斯底里般的 | |
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66 plunged | |
v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
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67 tickling | |
反馈,回授,自旋挠痒法 | |
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68 coffin | |
n.棺材,灵柩 | |
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69 snails | |
n.蜗牛;迟钝的人;蜗牛( snail的名词复数 ) | |
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70 doom | |
n.厄运,劫数;v.注定,命定 | |
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71 sneer | |
v.轻蔑;嘲笑;n.嘲笑,讥讽的言语 | |
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72 fumbled | |
(笨拙地)摸索或处理(某事物)( fumble的过去式和过去分词 ); 乱摸,笨拙地弄; 使落下 | |
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73 withered | |
adj. 枯萎的,干瘪的,(人身体的部分器官)因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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74 groaned | |
v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 );发牢骚;抱怨;受苦 | |
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75 snarled | |
v.(指狗)吠,嗥叫, (人)咆哮( snarl的过去式和过去分词 );咆哮着说,厉声地说 | |
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76 wrecked | |
adj.失事的,遇难的 | |
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