"Why, certainly, if it's the least--"
"Yes, thank you. And down here in this room instead of upstairs?"
"Captain Ferry! if you knew how horribly it smells, you--"
"Ah! don't I know?" he said, and as I sat naked from throat to waist with the old negro laving the sores, Ferry scanned them narrowly. "They are not so bad, Dick; you think a few hours in the saddle will not make them worse?"
"Not if they're spent for you, Captain."
"Yes, for me; also for much better. We shall ride for--"
"You ride? Oh, Captain, you are in no condition--"
"Tst!" he laid a finger on my lips; "'twill not be hard; we are not going on a scout--to jump fences." He began to make actual preparations, and presently helped me draw my shirt into place again over the clean bandages, while the old man went out after fresh water. "I am a hundred times more fit to go than to stay," he suddenly resumed. "I must go. Ah, idleness, there is nothing like idleness to drive a man mad; I must have something to do--to-night--at once." I wish I knew how to give the words with his quiet intensity4.
I began to unclothe his wound. "May I ask one thing?"
"Ah! I know you; you want to ask am I taking that upper fork of the road. I am; 'tis for that I want you; so go you now to the stable, saddle our horses and bring them."
When I reached the front steps with them Ferry was at the gallery's edge, Miss Harper, Cécile and Harry5 were on three sides of him, and he was explaining away our astonishing departure. We were going to Hazlehurst, to issue clothing and shoes to those ragged6 and barefoot fellows we had seen that afternoon, and the light of whose tentless camp was yonder in the sky, now, toward Brookhaven. We were to go that way, confer with their officers, telegraph from town for authorizations to be sent to us at Hazlehurst, and then to push on to that place and be ready to issue the stuff when the trains should come up from Brookhaven bringing the brigade. While he spoke7 Camille and Estelle joined us. "No," he said, "to start any later, 'twould be too late."
To Harry's imploring8 protest that he, Ferry, was not fit to go to Hazlehurst horseback, he replied "Well! what we going to do? Those boys can't go to Big Black swamp bare-foot."
Our dear friends were too well aware of the untold9 trouble to say a word about his coming back, but Miss Harper's parting injunction to me was to write them.
The whole night and the following day were a toilsome time for us, but by fall of the next night the brigade had come in rags and passed newly clothed and shod, and in a room of the town tavern10 we dressed each other's hurts and sank to sleep on one bed. The night was hot, the pain of my wounds was like a great stone lying on them, and at the tragic11 moment of a frightful12 dream I awoke. "Captain," I murmured.
"Yes?"
"Did she give no reason?"
"No." A silence followed; then he said, "You know the reason, I think."
"Yes, I think I do; I think--"
"Well? don't be afraid to say it."
I got the words out in some form, that I believed Charlotte loved him deeply, as deeply, passionately13, exaltedly14, as ever a true woman loved a man--
"Ah, me!" he lifted his arms wide and knitted his fingers on his brow.
"And there is the whole trouble," I added. "She will not let you marry the woman whose--"
"Whose husband I have killed.... Ah, God!... Ah, my God! why was I chosen to do that?... And you think, Dick, it was not a question of time; that I did not ask, maybe a little too soon?"
"No, not as between sooner and later; and yet, in another way, possibly, yes." Without either of us stirring from the pillow I tried to explain. I pointed15 out that trait in Charlotte which I called an impulse suddenly to surrender the key of her situation, the vital point in her fortunes and fate.
"Yes.... Yes," Ferry kept putting in.
I went on to say that she seemed now to have learned, herself, that it was on this shoal she grounded at every low water of her physical and mental powers; as when over-fatigued, for instance; and that I should not wonder if she had bound herself never again at such a time to let her judgment16 follow her impulses. He laid his hand on me: "Stop; stop; you stab too deep. I thought to take her by surprise at that very point, and right there she has countermined. My God! can it be that I am served only right?"
"No," I replied, although it was a thing I would have said Ned Ferry would not do, "no, no, it is she who has served both you and herself cruelly wrong. Captain, I believe that when Miss Harper has talked it over with her she will see her mistake as we all see it, and will call you back."
"Ah, me! Ah, me! Do you believe that, Dick?"
"I do, Captain; but at the same time--"
"What, what? Speak out, Dick. You blame me some other way?"
"Oh, no, indeed! I am the one to blame, the only one. If you had not, both of you, been so blameless--so splendidly blameless--I should hardly have let myself sink so deep into blame; but I knew you would never take the last glad step until you had seen the last sad proof that you might take it. Oh, Captain, to-night is the third time that in my dreams I have seen that man alive."
I do not know how long after that we lay silent, but it seemed an endless time before he exclaimed at last "My God! Dick, you should have told me."
"I know it; I know I should! But it was only a dream, and--"
"Ah! 'twas your doubt first and the dream after! But let us think no more of blame, we must settle the doubt. We shall begin that to-morrow." On my venturing to say more he interrupted. "Well, we can do nothing now; at the present, sleep is our first business." However, after a little, he spoke again, and, I believe, purely17 in order to soothe18 me to slumber19, speculated and counselled with me for the better part of an hour concerning my own poor little love affair.
At breakfast he told me the first step in his further plans would be for us to take the train for Tangipahoa, with our horses, on our way to our own camp; but just before the train came the telegraph brought General Austin's request--which, of course, carried all the weight of an order--for Ferry to remain here and make ready for further issues of quartermaster's stores. He turned on his heel and twisted his small mustache: "That means we are kept here to be kept here, Richard."
It was a mistaken kindness, from our point of view, but it had the merit that it kept us busy. In two days the post-quartermaster's affairs and supplies were reduced to perfect order for the first time in their history. For two days more we ran a construction train and with a swarm20 of conscripts repaired two or three miles of road-bed and some trestle-work in a swamp; and at every respite21 in our strenuous22 activities we discoursed23 of the girls we'd left behind us; their minds, their manners, their features, figures, tastes and talents, and their walk and talk. So came the end of the week, and while the sun was still above the trees we went on down, inspecting the road beyond our repairs, on our own hand-car to Brookhaven. With heads bare, jackets in our laps, and muddy boots dangling24 over the car's front edge, and with six big negroes at the levers behind us, we watched the miles glide25 under our wheels and grow fewer and fewer between us and the shrine26 of our hearts. "Sing, Dick," said Ferry, and we chanted together, as we had done at every sunset these three days, "O my love is like a red, red rose." We could not have done it had we known that yonder glorious sun was setting forever upon the fortunes of our Southern Confederacy. It was the fourth of July; Lee was in full retreat from Gettysburg, Vicksburg was gone, Port Hudson was doomed27, and all that was left for us now was to die hard.
点击收听单词发音
1 dressing | |
n.(食物)调料;包扎伤口的用品,敷料 | |
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2 calamity | |
n.灾害,祸患,不幸事件 | |
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3 caressingly | |
爱抚地,亲切地 | |
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4 intensity | |
n.强烈,剧烈;强度;烈度 | |
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5 harry | |
vt.掠夺,蹂躏,使苦恼 | |
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6 ragged | |
adj.衣衫褴褛的,粗糙的,刺耳的 | |
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7 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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8 imploring | |
恳求的,哀求的 | |
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9 untold | |
adj.数不清的,无数的 | |
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10 tavern | |
n.小旅馆,客栈;小酒店 | |
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11 tragic | |
adj.悲剧的,悲剧性的,悲惨的 | |
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12 frightful | |
adj.可怕的;讨厌的 | |
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13 passionately | |
ad.热烈地,激烈地 | |
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14 exaltedly | |
得意忘形地 | |
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15 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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16 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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17 purely | |
adv.纯粹地,完全地 | |
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18 soothe | |
v.安慰;使平静;使减轻;缓和;奉承 | |
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19 slumber | |
n.睡眠,沉睡状态 | |
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20 swarm | |
n.(昆虫)等一大群;vi.成群飞舞;蜂拥而入 | |
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21 respite | |
n.休息,中止,暂缓 | |
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22 strenuous | |
adj.奋发的,使劲的;紧张的;热烈的,狂热的 | |
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23 discoursed | |
演说(discourse的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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24 dangling | |
悬吊着( dangle的现在分词 ); 摆动不定; 用某事物诱惑…; 吊胃口 | |
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25 glide | |
n./v.溜,滑行;(时间)消逝 | |
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26 shrine | |
n.圣地,神龛,庙;v.将...置于神龛内,把...奉为神圣 | |
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27 doomed | |
命定的 | |
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