That afternoon there was a search for Sophia, whom no one had seen since dinner. She was discovered by her mother, sitting alone and unoccupied in the drawing-room. The circumstance was in itself sufficiently1 peculiar2, for on weekdays the drawing-room was never used, even by the girls during their holidays, except for the purpose of playing the piano. However, Mrs. Baines offered no comment on Sophia's geographical3 situation, nor on her idleness.
"My dear," she said, standing4 at the door, with a self-conscious effort to behave as though nothing had happened, "will you come and sit with your father a bit?"
"Yes, mother," answered Sophia, with a sort of cold alacrity5.
"Sophia is coming, father," said Mrs. Baines at the open door of the bedroom, which was at right-angles with, and close to, the drawing-room door. Then she surged swishing along the corridor and went into the showroom, whither she had been called.
Sophia passed to the bedroom, the eternal prison of John Baines. Although, on account of his nervous restlessness, Mr. Baines was never left alone, it was not a part of the usual duty of the girls to sit with him. The person who undertook the main portion of the vigils was a certain Aunt Maria--whom the girls knew to be not a real aunt, not a powerful, effective aunt like Aunt Harriet of Axe--but a poor second cousin of John Baines; one of those necessitous, pitiful relatives who so often make life difficult for a great family in a small town. The existence of Aunt Maria, after being rather a "trial" to the Baineses, had for twelve years past developed into something absolutely "providential" for them. (It is to be remembered that in those days Providence6 was still busying himself with everybody's affairs, and foreseeing the future in the most extraordinary manner. Thus, having foreseen that John Baines would have a "stroke" and need a faithful, tireless nurse, he had begun fifty years in advance by creating Aunt Maria, and had kept her carefully in misfortune's way, so that at the proper moment she would be ready to cope with the stroke. Such at least is the only theory which will explain the use by the Baineses, and indeed by all thinking Bursley, of the word "providential" in connection with Aunt Maria.) She was a shrivelled little woman, capable of sitting twelve hours a day in a bedroom and thriving on the regime. At nights she went home to her little cottage in Brougham Street; she had her Thursday afternoons and generally her Sundays, and during the school vacations she was supposed to come only when she felt inclined, or when the cleaning of her cottage permitted her to come. Hence, in holiday seasons, Mr. Baines weighed more heavily on his household than at other times, and his nurses relieved each other according to the contingencies7 of the moment rather than by a set programme of hours.
The tragedy in ten thousand acts of which that bedroom was the scene, almost entirely9 escaped Sophia's perception, as it did Constance's. Sophia went into the bedroom as though it were a mere10 bedroom, with its majestic11 mahogany furniture, its crimson12 rep curtains (edged with gold), and its white, heavily tasselled counterpane. She was aged8 four when John Baines had suddenly been seized with giddiness on the steps of his shop, and had fallen, and, without losing consciousness, had been transformed from John Baines into a curious and pathetic survival of John Baines. She had no notion of the thrill which ran through the town on that night when it was known that John Baines had had a stroke, and that his left arm and left leg and his right eyelid14 were paralyzed, and that the active member of the Local Board, the orator15, the religious worker, the very life of the town's life, was permanently16 done for. She had never heard of the crisis through which her mother, assisted by Aunt Harriet, had passed, and out of which she had triumphantly17 emerged. She was not yet old enough even to suspect it. She possessed18 only the vaguest memory of her father before he had finished with the world. She knew him simply as an organism on a bed, whose left side was wasted, whose eyes were often inflamed19, whose mouth was crooked20, who had no creases21 from the nose to the corners of the mouth like other people, who experienced difficulty in eating because the food would somehow get between his gums and his cheek, who slept a great deal but was excessively fidgety while awake, who seemed to hear what was said to him a long time after it was uttered, as if the sense had to travel miles by labyrinthine22 passages to his brain, and who talked very, very slowly in a weak, trembling voice.
And she had an image of that remote brain as something with a red spot on it, for once Constance had said: "Mother, why did father have a stroke?" and Mrs. Baines had replied: "It was a haemorrhage of the brain, my dear, here"--putting a thimbled finger on a particular part of Sophia's head.
Not merely had Constance and Sophia never really felt their father's tragedy; Mrs. Baines herself had largely lost the sense of it--such is the effect of use. Even the ruined organism only remembered fitfully and partially23 that it had once been John Baines. And if Mrs. Baines had not, by the habit of years, gradually built up a gigantic fiction that the organism remained ever the supreme24 consultative head of the family; if Mr. Critchlow had not obstinately25 continued to treat it as a crony, the mass of living and dead nerves on the rich Victorian bedstead would have been of no more account than some Aunt Maria in similar case. These two persons, his wife and his friend, just managed to keep him morally alive by indefatigably26 feeding his importance and his dignity. The feat27 was a miracle of stubborn self-deceiving, splendidly blind devotion, and incorrigible28 pride.
When Sophia entered the room, the paralytic29 followed her with his nervous gaze until she had sat down on the end of the sofa at the foot of the bed. He seemed to study her for a long time, and then he murmured in his slow, enfeebled, irregular voice:
"Is that Sophia?"
"Yes, father," she answered cheerfully.
And after another pause, the old man said: "Ay! It's Sophia."
And later: "Your mother said she should send ye."
Sophia saw that this was one of his bad, dull days. He had, occasionally, days of comparative nimbleness, when his wits seized almost easily the meanings of external phenomena30.
Presently his sallow face and long white beard began to slip down the steep slant31 of the pillows, and a troubled look came into his left eye. Sophia rose and, putting her hands under his armpits, lifted him higher in the bed. He was not heavy, but only a strong girl of her years could have done it.
"Ay!" he muttered. "That's it. That's it."
And, with his controllable right hand, he took her hand as she stood by the bed. She was so young and fresh, such an incarnation of the spirit of health, and he was so far gone in decay and corruption32, that there seemed in this contact of body with body something unnatural33 and repulsive34. But Sophia did not so feel it.
"Sophia," he addressed her, and made preparatory noises in his throat while she waited.
He continued after an interval35, now clutching her arm, "Your mother's been telling me you don't want to go in the shop."
She turned her eyes on him, and his anxious, dim gaze met hers. She nodded.
"Nay36, Sophia," he mumbled38, with the extreme of slowness. "I'm surprised at ye. . .Trade's bad, bad! Ye know trade's bad?" He was still clutching her arm.
She nodded. She was, in fact, aware of the badness of trade, caused by a vague war in the United States. The words "North" and "South" had a habit of recurring39 in the conversation of adult persons. That was all she knew, though people were starving in the Five Towns as they were starving in Manchester.
"There's your mother," his thought struggled on, like an aged horse over a hilly road. "There's your mother!" he repeated, as if wishful to direct Sophia's attention to the spectacle of her mother. "Working hard! Con--Constance and you must help her. . . . Trade's bad! What can I do. . .lying here?"
The heat from his dry fingers was warming her arm. She wanted to move, but she could not have withdrawn40 her arm without appearing impatient. For a similar reason she would not avert41 her glance. A deepening flush increased the lustre42 of her immature43 loveliness as she bent44 over him. But though it was so close he did not feel that radiance. He had long outlived a susceptibility to the strange influences of youth and beauty.
"Teaching!" he muttered. "Nay, nay! I canna' allow that."
Then his white beard rose at the tip as he looked up at the ceiling above his head, reflectively.
"You understand me?" he questioned finally.
She nodded again; he loosed her arm, and she turned away. She could not have spoken. Glittering tears enriched her eyes. She was saddened into a profound and sudden grief by the ridiculousness of the scene. She had youth, physical perfection; she brimmed with energy, with the sense of vital power; all existence lay before her; when she put her lips together she felt capable of outvying no matter whom in fortitude45 of resolution. She had always hated the shop. She did not understand how her mother and Constance could bring themselves to be deferential46 and flattering to every customer that entered. No, she did not understand it; but her mother (though a proud woman) and Constance seemed to practise such behaviour so naturally, so unquestioningly, that she had never imparted to either of them her feelings; she guessed that she would not be comprehended. But long ago she had decided47 that she would never "go into the shop." She knew that she would be expected to do something, and she had fixed48 on teaching as the one possibility. These decisions had formed part of her inner life for years past. She had not mentioned them, being secretive and scarcely anxious for unpleasantness. But she had been slowly preparing herself to mention them. The extraordinary announcement that she was to leave school at the same time as Constance had taken her unawares, before the preparations ripening49 in her mind were complete--before, as it were, she had girded up her loins for the fray50. She had been caught unready, and the opposing forces had obtained the advantage of her. But did they suppose she was beaten?
No argument from her mother! No hearing, even! Just a curt13 and haughty51 'Let me hear no more of this'! And so the great desire of her life, nourished year after year in her inmost bosom52, was to be flouted53 and sacrificed with a word! Her mother did not appear ridiculous in the affair, for her mother was a genuine power, commanding by turns genuine love and genuine hate, and always, till then, obedience54 and the respect of reason. It was her father who appeared tragically55 ridiculous; and, in turn, the whole movement against her grew grotesque56 in its absurdity57. Here was this antique wreck58, helpless, useless, powerless--merely pathetic- -actually thinking that he had only to mumble37 in order to make her 'understand'! He knew nothing; he perceived nothing; he was a ferocious59 egoist, like most bedridden invalids60, out of touch with life,--and he thought himself justified61 in making destinies, and capable of making them! Sophia could not, perhaps, define the feelings which overwhelmed her; but she was conscious of their tendency. They aged her, by years. They aged her so that, in a kind of momentary62 ecstasy63 of insight, she felt older than her father himself.
"You will be a good girl," he said. "I'm sure o' that."
It was too painful. The grotesqueness64 of her father's complacency humiliated65 her past bearing. She was humiliated, not for herself, but for him. Singular creature! She ran out of the room.
Fortunately Constance was passing in the corridor, otherwise Sophia had been found guilty of a great breach66 of duty.
"Go to father," she whispered hysterically67 to Constance, and fled upwards68 to the second floor.
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1
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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geographical
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| adj.地理的；地区(性)的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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alacrity
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| n.敏捷，轻快，乐意 | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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contingencies
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| n.偶然发生的事故，意外事故( contingency的名词复数 )；以备万一 | |
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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majestic
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| adj.雄伟的，壮丽的，庄严的，威严的，崇高的 | |
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crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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curt
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| adj.简短的，草率的 | |
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eyelid
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| n.眼睑，眼皮 | |
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orator
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| n.演说者，演讲者，雄辩家 | |
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permanently
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| adv.永恒地，永久地，固定不变地 | |
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triumphantly
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| ad.得意洋洋地；得胜地；成功地 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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inflamed
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| adj.发炎的，红肿的v.（使）变红，发怒，过热( inflame的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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crooked
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| adj.弯曲的；不诚实的，狡猾的，不正当的 | |
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creases
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| （使…）起折痕，弄皱( crease的第三人称单数 )； （皮肤）皱起，使起皱纹 | |
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labyrinthine
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| adj.如迷宫的；复杂的 | |
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partially
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| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
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supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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obstinately
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| ad.固执地，顽固地 | |
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indefatigably
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| adv.不厌倦地，不屈不挠地 | |
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feat
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| n.功绩；武艺，技艺；adj.灵巧的，漂亮的，合适的 | |
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incorrigible
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| adj.难以纠正的，屡教不改的 | |
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paralytic
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| adj. 瘫痪的 n. 瘫痪病人 | |
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phenomena
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| n.现象 | |
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slant
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| v.倾斜，倾向性地编写或报道；n.斜面，倾向 | |
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corruption
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| n.腐败，堕落，贪污 | |
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unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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repulsive
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| adj.排斥的，使人反感的 | |
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interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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mumble
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| n./v.喃喃而语，咕哝 | |
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mumbled
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| 含糊地说某事，叽咕，咕哝( mumble的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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39
recurring
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| adj.往复的，再次发生的 | |
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withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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avert
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| v.防止，避免；转移(目光、注意力等) | |
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lustre
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| n.光亮，光泽；荣誉 | |
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immature
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| adj.未成熟的，发育未全的，未充分发展的 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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fortitude
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| n.坚忍不拔；刚毅 | |
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deferential
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| adj. 敬意的，恭敬的 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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ripening
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| v.成熟，使熟( ripen的现在分词 )；熟化；熟成 | |
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fray
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| v.争吵；打斗；磨损，磨破；n.吵架；打斗 | |
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51
haughty
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| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
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52
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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flouted
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| v.藐视，轻视( flout的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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obedience
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| n.服从，顺从 | |
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55
tragically
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| adv. 悲剧地，悲惨地 | |
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56
grotesque
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| adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物） | |
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absurdity
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| n.荒谬，愚蠢；谬论 | |
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wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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59
ferocious
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| adj.凶猛的，残暴的，极度的，十分强烈的 | |
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60
invalids
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| 病人，残疾者( invalid的名词复数 ) | |
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61
justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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62
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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64
grotesqueness
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humiliated
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| 感到羞愧的 | |
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66
breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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hysterically
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| ad. 歇斯底里地 | |
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upwards
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| adv.向上，在更高处...以上 | |
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