In the Wesleyan Methodist Chapel1 on Duck Bank there was a full and influential2 congregation. For in those days influential people were not merely content to live in the town where their fathers had lived, without dreaming of country residences and smokeless air--they were content also to believe what their fathers had believed about the beginning and the end of all. There was no such thing as the unknowable in those days. The eternal mysteries were as simple as an addition sum; a child could tell you with absolute certainty where you would be and what you would be doing a million years hence, and exactly what God thought of you. Accordingly, every one being of the same mind, every one met on certain occasions in certain places in order to express the universal mind. And in the Wesleyan Methodist Chapel, for example, instead of a sparse3 handful of persons disturbingly conscious of being in a minority, as now, a magnificent and proud majority had collected, deeply aware of its rightness and its correctness.
And the minister, backed by minor4 ministers, knelt and covered his face in the superb mahogany rostrum; and behind him, in what was then still called the 'orchestra' (though no musical instruments except the grand organ had sounded in it for decades), the choir5 knelt and covered their faces; and all around in the richly painted gallery and on the ground-floor, multitudinous rows of people, in easy circumstances of body and soul, knelt in high pews and covered their faces. And there floated before them, in the intense and prolonged silence, the clear vision of Jehovah on a throne, a God of sixty or so with a moustache and a beard, and a non-committal expression which declined to say whether or not he would require more bloodshed; and this God, destitute7 of pinions8, was surrounded by white-winged creatures that wafted9 themselves to and fro while chanting; and afar off was an obscene monstrosity, with cloven hoofs10 and a tail very dangerous and rude and interfering11, who could exist comfortably in the middle of a coal- fire, and who took a malignant12 and exhaustless pleasure in coaxing13 you by false pretences14 into the same fire; but of course you had too much sense to swallow his wicked absurdities15. Once a year, for ten minutes by the clock, you knelt thus, in mass, and by meditation16 convinced yourself that you had too much sense to swallow his wicked absurdities. And the hour was very solemn, the most solemn of all the hours.
Strange that immortal17 souls should be found with the temerity18 to reflect upon mundane19 affairs in that hour! Yet there were undoubtedly20 such in the congregation; there were perhaps many to whom the vision, if clear, was spasmodic and fleeting21. And among them the inhabitants of the Baines family pew! Who would have supposed that Mr. Povey, a recent convert from Primitive22 Methodism in King Street to Wesleyan Methodism on Duck Bank, was dwelling23 upon window-tickets and the injustice24 of women, instead of upon his relations with Jehovah and the tailed one? Who would have supposed that the gentle-eyed Constance, pattern of daughters, was risking her eternal welfare by smiling at the tailed one, who, concealing25 his tail, had assumed the image of Mr. Povey? Who would have supposed that Mrs. Baines, instead of resolving that Jehovah and not the tailed one should have ultimate rule over her, was resolving that she and not Mr. Povey should have ultimate rule over her house and shop? It was a pew-ful that belied26 its highly satisfactory appearance. (And possibly there were other pew-fuls equally deceptive27.)
Sophia alone, in the corner next to the wall, with her beautiful stern face pressed convulsively against her hands, was truly busy with immortal things. Turbulent heart, the violence of her spiritual life had made her older! Never was a passionate28, proud girl in a harder case than Sophia! In the splendour of her remorse29 for a fatal forgetfulness, she had renounced30 that which she loved and thrown herself into that which she loathed31. It was her nature so to do. She had done it haughtily32, and not with kindness, but she had done it with the whole force of her will. Constance had been compelled to yield up to her the millinery department, for Sophia's fingers had a gift of manipulating ribbons and feathers that was beyond Constance. Sophia had accomplished33 miracles in the millinery. Yes, and she would be utterly34 polite to customers; but afterwards, when the customers were gone, let mothers, sisters, and Mr. Poveys beware of her fiery35 darts36!
But why, when nearly three months had elapsed after her father's death, had she spent more and more time in the shop, secretly aflame with expectancy37? Why, when one day a strange traveller entered the shop and announced himself the new representative of Birkinshaws--why had her very soul died away within her and an awful sickness seized her? She knew then that she had been her own deceiver. She recognized and admitted, abasing38 herself lower than the lowest, that her motive39 in leaving Miss Chetwynd's and joining the shop had been, at the best, very mixed, very impure40. Engaged at Miss Chetwynd's, she might easily have never set eyes on Gerald Scales again. Employed in the shop, she could not fail to meet him. In this light was to be seen the true complexion41 of the splendour of her remorse. A terrible thought for her! And she could not dismiss it. It contaminated her existence, this thought! And she could confide42 in no one. She was incapable43 of showing a wound. Quarter had succeeded quarter, and Gerald Scales was no more heard of. She had sacrificed her life for worse than nothing. She had made her own tragedy. She had killed her father, cheated and shamed herself with a remorse horribly spurious, exchanged content for misery44 and pride for humiliation--and with it all, Gerald Scales had vanished! She was ruined.
She took to religion, and her conscientious45 Christian46 virtues47, practised with stern inclemency48, were the canker of the family. Thus a year and a half had passed.
And then, on this last day of the year, the second year of her shame and of her heart's widowhood, Mr. Scales had reappeared. She had gone casually49 into the shop and found him talking to her mother and Mr. Povey. He had come back to the provincial50 round and to her. She shook his hand and fled, because she could not have stayed. None had noticed her agitation51, for she had held her body as in a vice52. She knew the reason neither of his absence nor of his return. She knew nothing. And not a word had been said at meals. And the day had gone and the night come; and now she was in chapel, with Constance by her side and Gerald Scales in her soul! Happy beyond previous conception of happiness! Wretched beyond an unutterable woe53! And none knew! What was she to pray for? To what purpose and end ought she to steel herself? Ought she to hope, or ought she to despair? "O God, help me!" she kept whispering to Jehovah whenever the heavenly vision shone through the wrack54 of her meditation. "O God, help me!" She had a conscience that, when it was in the mood for severity, could be unspeakably cruel to her.
And whenever she looked, with dry, hot eyes, through her gloved fingers, she saw in front of her on the wall a marble tablet inscribed55 in gilt56 letters, the cenotaph! She knew all the lines by heart, in their spacious57 grandiloquence58; lines such as:
EVER READY WITH HIS TONGUE HIS PEN AND HIS PURSE TO HELP THE CHURCH OF HIS FATHERS IN HER HE LIVED AND IN HER HE DIED CHERISHING A DEEP AND ARDENT59 AFFECTION FOR HIS BELOVED FAITH AND CREED60.
And again:
HIS SYMPATHIES EXTENDED BEYOND HIS OWN COMMUNITY HE WAS ALWAYS TO THE FORE6 IN GOOD WORKS AND HE SERVED THE CIRCUIT THE TOWN AND THE DISTRICT WITH GREAT ACCEPTANCE AND USEFULNESS.
Thus had Mr. Critchlow's vanity been duly appeased61.
As the minutes sped in the breathing silence of the chapel the emotional tension grew tighter; worshippers sighed heavily, or called upon Jehovah for a sign, or merely coughed an invocation. And then at last the clock in the middle of the balcony gave forth62 the single stroke to which it was limited; the ministers rose, and the congregation after them; and everybody smiled as though it was the millennium63, and not simply the new year, that had set in. Then, faintly, through walls and shut windows, came the sound of bells and of steam syrens and whistles. The superintendent64 minister opened his hymn65-book, and the hymn was sung which had been sung in Wesleyan Chapels66 on New Year's morn since the era of John Wesley himself. The organ finished with a clanguor of all its pipes; the minister had a few last words with Jehovah, and nothing was left to do except to persevere67 in well-doing. The people leaned towards each other across the high backs of the pews.
"A happy New Year!"
"Eh, thank ye! The same to you!"
"Another Watch Night service over!"
"Eh. yes!" And a sigh.
Then the aisles68 were suddenly crowded, and there was a good- humoured, optimistic pushing towards the door. In the Corinthian porch occurred a great putting-on of cloaks, ulsters, goloshes, and even pattens, and a great putting-up of umbrellas. And the congregation went out into the whirling snow, dividing into several black, silent-footed processions, down Trafalgar Road, up towards the playground, along the market-place, and across Duck Square in the direction of St. Luke's Square.
Mr. Povey was between Mrs. Baines and Constance.
"You must take my arm, my pet," said Mrs. Baines to Sophia.
Then Mr. Povey and Constance waded69 on in front through the drifts. Sophia balanced that enormous swaying mass, her mother. Owing to their hoops70, she had much difficulty in keeping close to her. Mrs. Baines laughed with the complacent71 ease of obesity72, yet a fall would have been almost irremediable for her; and so Sophia had to laugh too. But, though she laughed, God had not helped her. She did not know where she was going, nor what might happen to her next.
"Why, bless us!" exclaimed Mrs. Baines, as they turned the corner into King Street. "There's some one sitting on our door-step!"
There was: a figure swathed in an ulster, a maud over the ulster, and a high hat on the top of all. It could not have been there very long, because it was only speckled with snow. Mr. Povey plunged73 forward.
"It's Mr. Scales, of all people!" said Mr. Povey.
"Mr. Scales!" cried Mrs. Baines.
And, "Mr. Scales!" murmured Sophia, terribly afraid.
Perhaps she was afraid of miracles. Mr. Scales sitting on her mother's doorstep in the middle of the snowy night had assuredly the air of a miracle, of something dreamed in a dream, of something pathetically and impossibly appropriate--'pat,' as they say in the Five Towns. But he was a tangible74 fact there. And years afterwards, in the light of further knowledge of Mr. Scales, Sophia came to regard his being on the doorstep as the most natural and characteristic thing in the world. Real miracles never seem to be miracles, and that which at the first blush resembles one usually proves to be an instance of the extremely prosaic75.
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1
chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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influential
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| adj.有影响的，有权势的 | |
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sparse
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| adj.稀疏的，稀稀落落的，薄的 | |
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minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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choir
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| n.唱诗班，唱诗班的席位，合唱团，舞蹈团；v.合唱 | |
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fore
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| adv.在前面；adj.先前的；在前部的；n.前部 | |
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destitute
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| adj.缺乏的；穷困的 | |
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pinions
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| v.抓住[捆住]（双臂）( pinion的第三人称单数 ) | |
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wafted
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| v.吹送，飘送，（使）浮动( waft的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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hoofs
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| n.（兽的）蹄，马蹄( hoof的名词复数 )v.（兽的）蹄，马蹄( hoof的第三人称单数 ) | |
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interfering
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| adj. 妨碍的 动词interfere的现在分词 | |
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malignant
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| adj.恶性的，致命的；恶意的，恶毒的 | |
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coaxing
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| v.哄，用好话劝说( coax的现在分词 )；巧言骗取；哄劝，劝诱；“锻炼”效应 | |
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pretences
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| n.假装( pretence的名词复数 )；作假；自命；自称 | |
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absurdities
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| n.极端无理性( absurdity的名词复数 )；荒谬；谬论；荒谬的行为 | |
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meditation
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| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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temerity
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| n.鲁莽，冒失 | |
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mundane
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| adj.平凡的；尘世的；宇宙的 | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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fleeting
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| adj.短暂的，飞逝的 | |
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primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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dwelling
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| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
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injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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concealing
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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belied
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| v.掩饰( belie的过去式和过去分词 )；证明（或显示）…为虚假；辜负；就…扯谎 | |
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deceptive
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| adj.骗人的，造成假象的，靠不住的 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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renounced
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| v.声明放弃( renounce的过去式和过去分词 )；宣布放弃；宣布与…决裂；宣布摒弃 | |
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loathed
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| v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 )；极不喜欢 | |
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32
haughtily
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| adv. 傲慢地, 高傲地 | |
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33
accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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darts
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| n.掷飞镖游戏；飞镖( dart的名词复数 )；急驰，飞奔v.投掷，投射( dart的第三人称单数 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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37
expectancy
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| n.期望，预期，（根据概率统计求得）预期数额 | |
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abasing
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| 使谦卑( abase的现在分词 )； 使感到羞耻； 使降低（地位、身份等）； 降下 | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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impure
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| adj.不纯净的，不洁的；不道德的，下流的 | |
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41
complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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confide
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| v.向某人吐露秘密 | |
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43
incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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44
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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45
conscientious
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| adj.审慎正直的，认真的，本着良心的 | |
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46
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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47
virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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inclemency
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| n.险恶，严酷 | |
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49
casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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provincial
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| adj.省的，地方的；n．外省人，乡下人 | |
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51
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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54
wrack
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| v.折磨；n.海草 | |
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inscribed
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| v.写，刻( inscribe的过去式和过去分词 )；内接 | |
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gilt
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| adj.镀金的；n.金边证券 | |
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spacious
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| adj.广阔的，宽敞的 | |
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grandiloquence
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| n.夸张之言，豪言壮语，豪语 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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creed
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| n.信条；信念，纲领 | |
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appeased
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| 安抚，抚慰( appease的过去式和过去分词 )； 绥靖（满足另一国的要求以避免战争） | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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millennium
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| n.一千年，千禧年；太平盛世 | |
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superintendent
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| n.监督人，主管，总监；(英国)警务长 | |
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hymn
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| n.赞美诗，圣歌，颂歌 | |
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chapels
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| n.小教堂， （医院、监狱等的）附属礼拜堂( chapel的名词复数 )；（在小教堂和附属礼拜堂举行的）礼拜仪式 | |
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persevere
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| v.坚持，坚忍，不屈不挠 | |
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aisles
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| n. (席位间的)通道, 侧廊 | |
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waded
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| （从水、泥等）蹚，走过，跋( wade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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hoops
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| n.箍( hoop的名词复数 )；（篮球）篮圈；（旧时儿童玩的）大环子；（两端埋在地里的）小铁弓 | |
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complacent
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| adj.自满的；自鸣得意的 | |
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obesity
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| n.肥胖，肥大 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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tangible
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| adj.有形的，可触摸的，确凿的，实际的 | |
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prosaic
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| adj.单调的，无趣的 | |
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