When the shop had been closed, under her own critical and precise superintendence, she extinguished the last gas in it and returned to the parlour, wondering where she might discover some entirely1 reliable man or boy to deal with the shutters2 night and morning. Samuel had ordinarily dealt with the shutters himself, and on extraordinary occasions and during holidays Miss Insull and one of her subordinates had struggled with their unwieldiness. But the extraordinary occasion had now become ordinary, and Miss Insull could not be expected to continue indefinitely in the functions of a male. Constance had a mind to engage an errand-boy, a luxury against which Samuel had always set his face. She did not dream of asking the herculean Cyril to open and shut shop.
He had apparently3 finished his home-lessons. The books were pushed aside, and he was sketching4 in lead-pencil on a drawing-block. To the right of the fireplace, over the sofa, there hung an engraving5 after Landseer, showing a lonely stag paddling into a lake. The stag at eve had drunk or was about to drink his fill, and Cyril was copying him. He had already indicated a flight of birds in the middle distance; vague birds on the wing being easier than detailed6 stags, he had begun with the birds.
Constance put a hand on his shoulder. "Finished your lessons?" she murmured caressingly7.
Before speaking, Cyril gazed up at the picture with a frowning, busy expression, and then replied in an absent-minded voice:
"Yes." And after a pause: "Except my arithmetic. I shall do that in the morning before breakfast."
"Oh, Cyril!" she protested.
It had been a positive ordinance8, for a long time past, that there should be no sketching until lessons were done. In his father's lifetime Cyril had never dared to break it.
He bent9 over his block, feigning10 an intense absorption. Constance's hand slipped from his shoulder. She wanted to command him formally to resume his lessons. But she could not. She feared an argument; she mistrusted herself. And, moreover, it was so soon after his father's death!
"You know you won't have time to-morrow morning!" she said weakly.
"Oh, mother!" he retorted superiorly. "Don't worry." And then, in a cajoling tone: "I've wanted to do that stag for ages."
She sighed and sat down in her rocking-chair. He went on sketching, rubbing out, and making queer expostulatory noises against his pencil, or against the difficulties needlessly invented by Sir Edwin Landseer. Once he rose and changed the position of the gas-bracket, staring fiercely at the engraving as though it had committed a sin.
Amy came to lay the supper. He did not acknowledge that she existed.
"Now, Master Cyril, after you with that table, if you please!" She announced herself brusquely, with the privilege of an old servant and a woman who would never see thirty again.
"What a nuisance you are, Amy!" he gruffly answered. "Look here, mother, can't Amy lay the cloth on that half of the table? I'm right in the middle of my drawing. There's plenty of room there for two."
He seemed not to be aware that, in the phrase 'plenty of room for two,' he had made a callous11 reference to their loss. The fact was, there WAS plenty of room for two.
Constance said quickly: "Very well, Amy. For this once."
Constance had to summon him twice from art to nourishment13. He ate with rapidity, frequently regarding the picture with half-shut, searching eyes. When he had finished, he refilled his glass with water, and put it next to his sketching-block.
"You surely aren't thinking of beginning to paint at this time of night!" Constance exclaimed, astonished.
"Oh YES, mother!" he fretfully appealed. "It's not late."
Another positive ordinance of his father's had been that there should be nothing after supper except bed. Nine o'clock was the latest permissible14 moment for going to bed. It was now less than a quarter to.
"It only wants twelve minutes to nine," Constance pointed15 out.
"Well, what if it does?"
"Now, Cyril," she said, "I do hope you are going to be a good boy, and not cause your mother anxiety."
He said sullenly17: "I do think you might let me finish it. I've begun it. It won't take me long."
She made the mistake of leaving the main point. "How can you possibly choose your colours properly by gas-light?" she said.
"I'm going to do it in sepia," he replied in triumph.
"It mustn't occur again," she said.
He thanked God for a good supper, and sprang to the harmonium, where his paint-box was. Amy cleared away. Constance did crochet- work. There was silence. The clock struck nine, and it also struck half-past nine. She warned him repeatedly. At ten minutes to ten she said persuasively18:
"Now, Cyril, when the clock strikes ten I shall really put the gas out."
The clock struck ten.
"Half a mo, half a mo!" he cried. "I've done! I've done!"
Her hand was arrested.
Another four minutes elapsed, and then he jumped up. "There you are!" he said proudly, showing her the block. And all his gestures were full of grace and cajolery.
"Yes, it's very good," Constance said, rather indifferently.
"I don't believe you care for it!" he accused her, but with a bright smile.
"I care for your health," she said. "Just look at that clock!"
He sat down in the other rocking-chair, deliberately19.
"Now, Cyril!"
"Well, mother, I suppose you'll let me take my boots off!" He said it with teasing good-humour.
When he kissed her good night, she wanted to cling to him, so affectionate was his kiss; but she could not throw off the habits of restraint which she had been originally taught and had all her life practised. She keenly regretted the inability.
In her bedroom, alone, she listened to his movements as he undressed. The door between the two rooms was unlatched. She had to control a desire to open it ever so little and peep at him. He would not have liked that. He could have enriched her heart beyond all hope, and at no cost to himself; but he did not know his power. As she could not cling to him with her hands, she clung to him with that heart of hers, while moving sedately20 up and down the room, alone. And her eyes saw him through the solid wood of the door. At last she got heavily into bed. She thought with placid21 anxiety, in the dark: "I shall have to be firm with Cyril." And she thought also, simultaneously22: "He really must be a good boy. He MUST." And clung to him passionately23, without shame! Lying alone there in the dark, she could be as unrestrained and girlish as her heart chose. When she loosed her hold she instantly saw the boy's father arranged in his coffin24, or flitting about the room. Then she would hug that vision too, for the pleasure of the pain it gave her.
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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shutters
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| 百叶窗( shutter的名词复数 )； （照相机的）快门 | |
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3
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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sketching
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| n.草图 | |
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engraving
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| n.版画；雕刻（作品）；雕刻艺术；镌版术v.在（硬物）上雕刻（字，画等）( engrave的现在分词 )；将某事物深深印在（记忆或头脑中） | |
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6
detailed
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| adj.详细的，详尽的，极注意细节的，完全的 | |
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caressingly
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| 爱抚地，亲切地 | |
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ordinance
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| n.法令；条令；条例 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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feigning
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| 假装，伪装( feign的现在分词 )； 捏造（借口、理由等） | |
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callous
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| adj.无情的，冷淡的，硬结的，起老茧的 | |
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grunted
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| （猪等）作呼噜声( grunt的过去式和过去分词 )； （指人）发出类似的哼声； 咕哝着说 | |
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13
nourishment
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| n.食物，营养品；营养情况 | |
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permissible
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| adj.可允许的，许可的 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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sullenly
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| 不高兴地，绷着脸，忧郁地 | |
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persuasively
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| adv.口才好地；令人信服地 | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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sedately
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| adv.镇静地，安详地 | |
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placid
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| adj.安静的，平和的 | |
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simultaneously
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| adv.同时发生地，同时进行地 | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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24
coffin
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| n.棺材，灵柩 | |
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