Six weeks had passed away. It was a splendid morning about the close of June. Most of the hay was cut, but the last week had been very unfavourable; and now that fine weather was come at last, being determined1 to make the most of it, I had gathered all hands together into the hay-field, and was working away myself, in the midst of them, in my shirt-sleeves, with a light, shady straw hat on my head, catching2 up armfuls of moist, reeking3 grass, and shaking it out to the four winds of heaven, at the head of a goodly file of servants and hirelings - intending so to labour, from morning till night, with as much zeal4 and assiduity as I could look for from any of them, as well to prosper5 the work by my own exertion6 as to animate7 the workers by my example - when lo! my resolutions were overthrown8 in a moment, by the simple fact of my brother's running up to me and putting into my hand a small parcel, just arrived from London, which I had been for some time expecting. I tore off the cover, and disclosed an elegant and portable edition of 'Marmion.'
'I guess I know who that's for,' said Fergus, who stood looking on while I complacently9 examined the volume. 'That's for Miss Eliza, now.'
He pronounced this with a tone and look so prodigiously10 knowing, that I was glad to contradict him.
'You're wrong, my lad,' said I; and, taking up my coat, I deposited the book in one of its pockets, and then put it on (i.e. the coat). 'Now come here, you idle dog, and make yourself useful for once,' I continued. 'Pull off your coat, and take my place in the field till I come back.'
'Till you come back? - and where are you going, pray?
'No matter where - the when is all that concerns you; - and I shall be back by dinner, at least.'
'Oh - oh! and I'm to labour away till then, am I? - and to keep all these fellows hard at it besides? Well, well! I'll submit - for once in a way. - Come, my lads, you must look sharp: I'm come to help you now:- and woe11 be to that man, or woman either, that pauses for a moment amongst you - whether to stare about him, to scratch his head, or blow his nose - no pretext12 will serve - nothing but work, work, work in the sweat of your face,' &c., &c.
Leaving him thus haranguing13 the people, more to their amusement than edification, I returned to the house, and, having made some alteration14 in my toilet, hastened away to Wildfell Hall, with the book in my pocket; for it was destined15 for the shelves of Mrs. Graham.
'What! then had she and you got on so well together as to come to the giving and receiving of presents?' - Not precisely16, old buck17; this was my first experiment in that line; and I was very anxious to see the result of it.
We had met several times since the - Bay excursion, and I had found she was not averse18 to my company, provided I confined my conversation to the discussion of abstract matters, or topics of common interest; - the moment I touched upon the sentimental19 or the complimentary20, or made the slightest approach to tenderness in word or look, I was not only punished by an immediate21 change in her manner at the time, but doomed22 to find her more cold and distant, if not entirely23 inaccessible24, when next I sought her company. This circumstance did not greatly disconcert me, however, because I attributed it, not so much to any dislike of my person, as to some absolute resolution against a second marriage formed prior to the time of our acquaintance, whether from excess of affection for her late husband, or because she had had enough of him and the matrimonial state together. At first, indeed, she had seemed to take a pleasure in mortifying25 my vanity and crushing my presumption26 - relentlessly27 nipping off bud by bud as they ventured to appear; and then, I confess, I was deeply wounded, though, at the same time, stimulated28 to seek revenge; - but latterly finding, beyond a doubt, that I was not that empty-headed coxcomb29 she had first supposed me, she had repulsed30 my modest advances in quite a different spirit. It was a kind of serious, almost sorrowful displeasure, which I soon learnt carefully to avoid awakening31.
'Let me first establish my position as a friend,' thought I - 'the patron and playfellow of her son, the sober, solid, plain-dealing friend of herself, and then, when I have made myself fairly necessary to her comfort and enjoyment32 in life (as I believe I can), we'll see what next may be effected.'
So we talked about painting, poetry, and music, theology, geology, and philosophy: once or twice I lent her a book, and once she lent me one in return: I met her in her walks as often as I could; I came to her house as often as I dared. My first pretext for invading the sanctum was to bring Arthur a little waddling33 puppy of which Sancho was the father, and which delighted the child beyond expression, and, consequently, could not fail to please his mamma. My second was to bring him a book, which, knowing his mother's particularity, I had carefully selected, and which I submitted for her approbation34 before presenting it to him. Then, I brought her some plants for her garden, in my sister's name - having previously35 persuaded Rose to send them. Each of these times I inquired after the picture she was painting from the sketch36 taken on the cliff, and was admitted into the studio, and asked my opinion or advice respecting its progress.
My last visit had been to return the book she had lent me; and then it was that, in casually37 discussing the poetry of Sir Walter Scott, she had expressed a wish to see 'Marmion,' and I had conceived the presumptuous38 idea of making her a present of it, and, on my return home, instantly sent for the smart little volume I had this morning received. But an apology for invading the hermitage was still necessary; so I had furnished myself with a blue morocco collar for Arthur's little dog; and that being given and received, with much more joy and gratitude39, on the part of the receiver, than the worth of the gift or the selfish motive40 of the giver deserved, I ventured to ask Mrs. Graham for one more look at the picture, if it was still there.
'Oh, yes! come in,' said she (for I had met them in the garden). 'It is finished and framed, all ready for sending away; but give me your last opinion, and if you can suggest any further improvement, it shall be - duly considered, at least.'
The picture was strikingly beautiful; it was the very scene itself, transferred as if by magic to the canvas; but I expressed my approbation in guarded terms, and few words, for fear of displeasing41 her. She, however, attentively42 watched my looks, and her artist's pride was gratified, no doubt, to read my heartfelt admiration43 in my eyes. But, while I gazed, I thought upon the book, and wondered how it was to be presented. My heart failed me; but I determined not to be such a fool as to come away without having made the attempt. It was useless waiting for an opportunity, and useless trying to concoct44 a speech for the occasion. The more plainly and naturally the thing was done, the better, I thought; so I just looked out of the window to screw up my courage, and then pulled out the book, turned round, and put it into her hand, with this short explanation:
'You were wishing to see 'Marmion,' Mrs. Graham; and here it is, if you will be so kind as to take it.'
A momentary45 blush suffused46 her face - perhaps, a blush of sympathetic shame for such an awkward style of presentation: she gravely examined the volume on both sides; then silently turned over the leaves, knitting her brows the while, in serious cogitation47; then closed the book, and turning from it to me, quietly asked the price of it - I felt the hot blood rush to my face.
'I'm sorry to offend you, Mr. Markham,' said she, 'but unless I pay for the book, I cannot take it.' And she laid it on the table.
'Why cannot you?'
'Because,' - she paused, and looked at the carpet.
'Why cannot you?' I repeated, with a degree of irascibility that roused her to lift her eyes and look me steadily48 in the face.
'Because I don't like to put myself under obligations that I can never repay - I am obliged to you already for your kindness to my son; but his grateful affection and your own good feelings must reward you for that.'
'Nonsense!' ejaculated I.
She turned her eyes on me again, with a look of quiet, grave surprise, that had the effect of a rebuke49, whether intended for such or not.
'Then you won't take the book?' I asked, more mildly than I had yet spoken.
'I will gladly take it, if you will let me pay for it.' I told her the exact price, and the cost of the carriage besides, in as calm a tone as I could command - for, in fact, I was ready to weep with disappointment and vexation.
She produced her purse, and coolly counted out the money, but hesitated to put it into my hand. Attentively regarding me, in a tone of soothing50 softness, she observed, - 'You think yourself insulted, Mr Markham - I wish I could make you understand that - that I - '
'I do understand you, perfectly,' I said. 'You think that if you were to accept that trifle from me now, I should presume upon it hereafter; but you are mistaken:- if you will only oblige me by taking it, believe me, I shall build no hopes upon it, and consider this no precedent51 for future favours:- and it is nonsense to talk about putting yourself under obligations to me when you must know that in such a case the obligation is entirely on my side, - the favour on yours.'
'Well, then, I'll take you at your word,' she answered, with a most angelic smile, returning the odious52 money to her purse - 'but remember!'
'I will remember - what I have said; - but do not you punish my presumption by withdrawing your friendship entirely from me, - or expect me to atone53 for it by being more distant than before,' said I, extending my hand to take leave, for I was too much excited to remain.
'Well, then! let us be as we were,' replied she, frankly54 placing her hand in mine; and while I held it there, I had much difficulty to refrain from pressing it to my lips; - but that would be suicidal madness: I had been bold enough already, and this premature55 offering had well-nigh given the death-blow to my hopes.
It was with an agitated56, burning heart and brain that I hurried homewards, regardless of that scorching57 noonday sun - forgetful of everything but her I had just left - regretting nothing but her impenetrability, and my own precipitancy and want of tact58 - fearing nothing but her hateful resolution, and my inability to overcome it - hoping nothing - but halt, - I will not bore you with my conflicting hopes and fears - my serious cogitations and resolves.
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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reeking
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| v.发出浓烈的臭气( reek的现在分词 )；散发臭气；发出难闻的气味 (of sth)；明显带有（令人不快或生疑的跡象） | |
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zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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prosper
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| v.成功，兴隆，昌盛；使成功，使昌隆，繁荣 | |
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exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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animate
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| v.赋于生命，鼓励；adj.有生命的，有生气的 | |
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overthrown
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| adj. 打翻的，推倒的，倾覆的 动词overthrow的过去分词 | |
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complacently
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| adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
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prodigiously
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| adv.异常地，惊人地，巨大地 | |
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woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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pretext
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| n.借口，托词 | |
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haranguing
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| v.高谈阔论( harangue的现在分词 ) | |
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alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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buck
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| n.雄鹿，雄兔；v.马离地跳跃 | |
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averse
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| adj.厌恶的；反对的，不乐意的 | |
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sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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complimentary
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| adj.赠送的，免费的，赞美的，恭维的 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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inaccessible
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| adj.达不到的，难接近的 | |
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mortifying
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| adj.抑制的，苦修的v.使受辱( mortify的现在分词 )；伤害（人的感情）；克制；抑制（肉体、情感等） | |
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presumption
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| n.推测，可能性，冒昧，放肆，[法律]推定 | |
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relentlessly
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| adv.不屈不挠地；残酷地；不间断 | |
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stimulated
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| a.刺激的 | |
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coxcomb
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| n.花花公子 | |
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repulsed
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| v.击退( repulse的过去式和过去分词 )；驳斥；拒绝 | |
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awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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waddling
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| v.（像鸭子一样）摇摇摆摆地走( waddle的现在分词 ) | |
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approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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sketch
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| n.草图；梗概；素描；v.素描；概述 | |
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casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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presumptuous
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| adj.胆大妄为的，放肆的，冒昧的，冒失的 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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displeasing
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| 不愉快的，令人发火的 | |
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attentively
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| adv.聚精会神地；周到地；谛；凝神 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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concoct
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| v.调合，制造 | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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suffused
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| v.（指颜色、水气等）弥漫于，布满( suffuse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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cogitation
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| n.仔细思考，计划，设计 | |
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48
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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50
soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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51
precedent
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| n.先例，前例；惯例；adj.在前的，在先的 | |
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odious
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| adj.可憎的，讨厌的 | |
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atone
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| v.赎罪，补偿 | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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55
premature
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| adj.比预期时间早的；不成熟的，仓促的 | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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scorching
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| adj. 灼热的 | |
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tact
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| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
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